February 27, 2023 • 45 mins
This week on GET REAL Podcast...HUMBLE THE POET!
HUMBLE THE POET is a former school teacher turned creative! Among his many incredible titles are: bestselling author, musician/director, spoken word artist, public speaker, and influencer.
IN THIS EPISODE, we talk:
• The ebbs and flows of CREATIVE journeys
• The secret to being LOVE/LOVED
• Learning AND unlearning
• LIFE-CHANGING philosophies
• Understanding spiritual frequencies and the many CYCLES of life
Grab a copy of Humble The Poet’s new book, “HOW TO BE LOVE(d): Simple truths for going easier on yourself, embracing imperfection, & loving your way to a better life,” HERE: https://assist331.wixsite.com/website-2
Connect with HUMBLE THE POET:
Website: https://www.humblethepoet.com
Listen to HUMBLE THE POET on GET REAL Podcast...NOW!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Carol learn, she's a queen. She's getting not afraid of thing,
so just let it flow. No one can do quiet,
can't learn this sounds can So I'm here with Humble
the Poet, and we've already been having like the best
(00:30):
conversations ever. I knew I was gonna have a great
conversation with you today because I just you've gone hard
for the big questions of life, and that is what
I have been on a journey trying to do myself
is understand what the actual f is going on here?
And how do we navigate this? How do we become
(00:51):
our highest self? How do we help others become their
highest self? How do we love? How do we do
this thing right? How do we do life right? Because
it's so confusing, and there's so many mixed signals coming
at us, and there's so many mixed feelings coming at us,
and there's all these emotions. And you talk about a
lot of emotions like envy and stuff, but there's like
(01:12):
there's just everything. It's just you have to learn how
to stay between the lines of what is going to
elevate you and what is not. You have to go
on a freak ton of journeys to figure it out
and you have to go hard for it, and you
have done that, and so I am so happy to
be here with you. Humble the poet who has a
(01:33):
new book called How to Be Love? Do you say
it like that? Love? How does it? How to be loved?
And then and then I figure once people read the book,
they'll they'll they'll get rid of the d I love it.
I love that. It's both it's like how do we love?
How do we love? Depending on what you care about? Yeah,
(01:53):
you know, I think most of us want to be
loved and the secret to the spoiler alert is to
be love. To talk to me about you? How'd you
get here? Um? I loved being in school, like I
do you did? What did you love to learn? I
think I love the environment. I just loved how everything
(02:14):
was new all the time. And it was like every
every year you had a new desk and a new
best friend, and a new teacher and a new classroom,
and you know, it was almost like life with a
TV show. And it was like, you know, whenever you're
watching your favorite TV show, and then every season, like
your favorite characters came back with a new haircut and
or something and it's just everything felt just new when refreshing,
(02:37):
and I think like the variety of life, you like
to see new things, you want to be inspired. Yeah,
the width and the depth of life. I think my
personal policy is like I am a I am a
baseball glove, Like I need to be beaten up as
much as possible before this all said and done, Like
I don't want to arrive to death safely. I really
want to experience this while I can, because I do
(02:57):
do life as a vacation from not existing. So for me,
I think it's just really important to have that. And
I think as a kid, I looked at it at
school because that's what it was, and I think all
of us just had that dynamic. And then the moment
you get out of school is like you're you're supposed
to plug yourself into one experience and do that for
like fifty years and then die and makes no sense. Yeah,
(03:21):
definitely not. So what I did was I stayed in school.
I became a teacher. I was an elementary school teacher
and learning say yeah, and then have a job where
I realized now like I wanted a job where I
could do it forever and still say I've not seen
it all or done at all. And that's what I
was feeling initially in that journey. And then once I
(03:44):
got into that, I was also exploring art and I
was doing spoken word poetry, and you know, just as
a young guy, that was our excuse to go into
the city and try to meet girls at coffee shops
and do all that stuff. So that that that the
spoken words was was going really well. I would just
go to amateur Nights or four Parts and it was
a small community, and you know, I got kind of
(04:05):
plugged into that what would you speak about? What would
you how would you get Because I was talking to you
you earlier about my friend and mar gid Love that
I thought, yall to each other, you don't, but now
you will. She's a spoken word artist, and I like,
I'm always just like enamored by what comes out of
her mouth. How what do you speak about? Like? And
is it like do prepared ahead of time? Is it
like free flowing? Like? How do you know what's your?
(04:26):
What was flowing from? What flows from you? Um? I
think for me, the big idea was generally like when
I learned something that I didn't know and I was
excited to share it. So this is like and then
early back then, a lot of it was in the
world of activism. I think I was, as a teenager
in high school exposed to kind of the world of
(04:47):
activism and people challenging a system that I never thought
needed to be challenged. You know, the idea that, oh
my god, there could be police officers who aren't good apples,
you know, there there could be government that don't treat
their people properly. These weren't things that was exposed to
in my little bubble growing up, and that there's people
who live different lives that are completely different than me,
(05:10):
and I was taught to have opinions on these people
without meeting them and knowing them. And then all of
a sudden, when I had one of those moments where
it's just like, you know, I was pulled out of
one of my bubbles. I felt like the whole world
needed to learn that. It's kind of like the first
time you hear Bob Marley and you want to be like,
you walk up, somebody, have you heard of this guy
Bob Marley? And you know, I love you so much?
(05:30):
I'd had three little birds on my arm. I mean
that that's exactly what I'm saying, and you probably came
across Bob Marley well after his time was was was
passed here. But there is this kind of feeling where
you're like, I want everyone to know who he is,
even though everyone knows who he is. And I felt like,
(05:52):
that's that's kind of what it felt like when I
started learning all of this stuff, and I was I
was surrounded by people who they weren't ignorant to this stuff,
so they were just further deepness. I would be like,
oh my god, I just learned about this dude name
like Malcolm X. Have you heard of him? To like,
have you read his autobiography? I'm like, he has an
autobiography and then yeah, and then I would like get
(06:13):
the book and then read that endlessly, and then it
would start me down a path, and then I started
like learning about people in music that would you know.
I think it was why Clefs had a song on
his Carnival album called Gunpowder, and that was the first
time I heard a song talk about social activism and
I got excited about that. So I think I used
to write poems about just stuff and activism, So I think,
(06:33):
you know, back then, for example, what wasn't so like
Somali pirates were on the news, and then you learned
that that that whole these were not pirates. These were
fishermen whose you know who. The water they were fishing
and were was being polluted by by toxic waste coming
from all these cargo ships. And this was actually a
(06:55):
reaction to that. You're like, oh, that's not the story
I was told in the news. You know, these these
people were vilified to me. They were made to sound
like these evil pirates without eye patches, and they realized that, oh,
these are fishermen trying to trying to protect their water initially,
and I know things change after and I think, so
something like that, like the world needs to know. So
I started putting that in poetry and I would go
(07:16):
to different poetry slams to perform that. So for the
longest time, everything was around that. And then I got
into music naturally, you know, I started doing writing poetry
to music, and then that turned into to rap, and
I started rapping about different things and I would wrap
on popular beats and just make it about a different
social cause and whether I was talking about what was
happening in Palestine and Israel, whether I was talking about
(07:38):
what was happening in Srilanka at the time, South Africa
Zimbabwe at that point, like their currency had crashed, and
watched the documentary about how every day they had to
dig for gold just to find food because they would
not accept any of the currency. And I just thought
this stuff was super interesting and I started sharing it.
And at the same time, I'm working as an elementary
school teacher, so now I'm trying to educate my little
(08:00):
eight year olds about this, and they're soaking it all
in because I'm I'm I'm there, I'm their world at
that point, and um, I didn't realize at the time
that was also becoming much more effective as a communicator
because I was speaking to eight year olds and oh, wow,
you really got to break it down. Yeah basically, yeah, yeah,
you're pretty much packaging it. Yeah. Yeah, you're you're figuring
(08:22):
out how to take an idea and package it. And
the educational idea was nothing is too complex, it's just
how you package it. And I was learning, you know,
I started we started learning about like certain alternative schools
that were like teaching six year olds how to use
power tools, you know. And then again it was like
this isn't too complicated for them, as long as you
(08:42):
break it down um into segments and pieces that they
can conceive, like that's all it is. How do you
package it um and with Especially in Toronto and in
Canada at this point, they didn't hold kids back. So
if you had a kid who was who wasn't doing well,
you didn't fail them. They don't feel grade. You keep
pushing them up because you still believe in their socialization.
(09:03):
But you have to accommodate their their lesson plan. So
if I was teaching the third or the fourth grade,
I would have kids operating at a first grade level.
I would have kids operating at a sixth grade level,
and I would have to accommodate and create unique plans
for them, meeting them where they're are. Ah, so you're
really good at stretching your mind, I mean creative and learning. Yeah,
and also just figuring out like how do I say
(09:25):
this as simply as possible? And you know, the general rule,
even for the for the books now is the general
rule is like no words bigger than mayonnaise. That was
always like the funny rule, like don't make a word
bigger than mayonnaise, and then everyone will be okay. And
I started to realize that just kind of every little
piece of experiences. And before all of this, I was
like a telemarketer for like five years while I was
(09:46):
in college, you know, paying my way. So it's like
it was always I was always into the world of
communication and trying to get people to understand whatever I
was trying to do, whether I was trying to sell
them a newspaper subscription or do a survey about their
fax machine or whatever I had to do for a living.
And everything that came into and that came into the
(10:07):
art because I had developed ten thousand hours worth of
things I didn't realize I had. And then I think
once I got into hip hop, um, you know, this
was the time YouTube began started recording all my stuff.
And then back then, you know, as it was, it
was a brand new platform. Anybody who did anything got attention,
and that started my journey into the arts. Um, and
(10:27):
I thought I had a bunch of opportunities, so I left.
I left teaching to pursue the opportunities. Um, none of
the opportunities. And and you know, you're in Nashville, another
place where's a lot of music happening. Um, the music
industry isn't the most above board industry. Yeah. Yeah, it
gives you a deep dive into the full spectrum of
it all. Yeah, so I got I got that education
(10:49):
very quickly. So you went in with like high hopes
of like the what you thought it could be, like
the goodness that the industry would be, and then you
realized the underbelly, the dark underbelly. Yeah, because as a teacher,
you're you don't as a teacher, like you're paid based
on your seniority, right, and your seniority is based on time.
So it's like the teacher next door to me, if
(11:10):
they've been working for five more years, they're getting five
years worth of more money than me. And that's it.
They're not my competition. There's nothing I can do to
attract you know. You know, we're all on the same team.
And let's say I went to lunch or something and
I got stuck and I'm running late. They care about
the kids enough that they'll watch my class. Yeah, there
wasn't just like, oh, I'm gonna let him fail in
(11:31):
front of our really beautiful it is really beautiful. It
was very communal, but that was a bubble in itself
that I lived in. Because you think about the bubble world,
but but don't we have to make these bubbles for ourselves.
Because I'm kind of the same as you, Like I
grew up on a bubble, was very protected, and then
went on my own journey to like uncover what's happening
(11:52):
in the world, and you know, just make sense of
it and see all the differences and try to understand
it and try to get my own explanation of life.
And but I have realized sometimes I need to go
back into a bubble for like just safe keeping for
a minute, just to like reboot, just to like recharge,
you know, like it's almost like you have to go
back into your cocoon for just a minute before you're
(12:14):
ready to get your wings out again and fly and
go spread the message and do the work. But like
I found that myself in like seasons with that, like
I'm coming out of a cocoon season. Like I really
I really bubbled myself up these past few years. I
think just because the world was so big and scary.
It's like sometimes I feel like I need that bubble.
Do you ever feel that way? A one thousand percent
(12:35):
I think it's more recognizing how often when the bubble pops,
how often it's you're doing or life's doing. Because I
feel like, you know, some of us get so comfortable
in our bubble that we try our best to protect it,
thinking that it'll never pop. See. And that's the difference.
(12:57):
I feel like, to me, I want to build the
bubble that I feel aligned to Bill. But then one
when that season's over, it's like it's time to move on,
you know. And yeah, and which I think is completely
you know, when we're kids and you know, we venture out,
you know, let's like you venture out to the playground,
which you with your parents, and then you know, you
fall or you meet a mean kid. The first thing
you do is run back to your parents. So you
run back to what's safe, and then you regroup yourself
(13:19):
and then you go out again. You know, it's it's
it's the same thing like if you're learning how to swim,
like you start, you start out the wall of the pool,
and then you push yourself out. If it gets scary,
you struggle to get back to the wall, but there's
that wall, you know your safe place. And the thing
is doing it consciously is very different than doing it unconsciously.
Like when I was a teacher, I didn't know I
was at a bubble. I literally thought, you know, I
(13:41):
was in this world of like, oh, I have talent.
Anybody who recognizes my talent is here to help me,
you know, which is completely not the truth. Anybody who
gives me a piece of paperwork that says they're gonna
pay me money to do work, is going to pay
me the paperwork, pay me the money, you know, which
is not true. So these are things I didn't know.
So when bubble, when that bubble bursted for me, you know,
(14:03):
I was choking on the fresh air, you know, So
I think, yeah, So I really think what I realized
from that is it's like you can't avoid uncomfortable situations.
You can't invoid you can't avoid inconvenient troops. So what
it is is when you're in a good place, you know,
voluntarily dive into this. And and that's why I love
the yin yang symbol because I think the Yin Yang
(14:24):
symbol shows it really well. Um. You know, if you
look at it as order and chaos, and you know
from from order chaos is going to come. That's where
you have the little dot and and from chaos you
can find order. And I think the perfect balance of
that is to have one foot in order, one foot
in what you know in the familiar, and one foot
(14:44):
in what you don't know. Yeah, because you can't go
all in. You can't free fall because then you're not
gonna be able to be effective because you're just trying
to like grab onto something exactly. And you also can't
have both feet in what's comfortable, because now you're gonna
that's when you get to monotony, boredom, depression, right, So
you and also like that's when people start doing all
(15:04):
the fighting for what they know is comfortable, and like
the disregarding of humanity and humanity chambers. Yeah, what is it?
Echo chambers? Echo chambers? So like social media is an
echo chamber, right, So social media the unintended consequence. So
any social media platform that you have, let's say Instagram
for example, the company's goals to just keep you on right. Yes,
(15:27):
Now they're paying attention to your behavior, your subconscious behavior,
and they're giving you things that you subconsciously want, not
things that you think you want. You know, so you
may say to yourself, uh, you know, I want videos
about how to cook healthy breakfast because that's what I
care about. I care about healthy stuff. But subconsciously, you
really care about who tellers, what is dating, or you
(15:47):
care about gossip or whatever, which is you know, like
potato chips, like just addictive pieces of stuff. So social
media picks up on that. Like the smartest people in
the world work for these companies, so they have all
the money, so they subconsciously create an experience for you
to keep you endless. Yeah, eating the potato chips, eating
the potato chips. But what they're also doing is by
(16:08):
making the potato chips that they're feeding you, um won't change.
So they're not here to give you new ideas because
they don't want you to leave. They don't want to
challenge what you already know and already like, which puts
you in a chamber of echoes. So then it's like
you're basically in a frequency field. Like it's like you're
(16:29):
in a yeah, you're yeah, you're in the like in
an airplane. When you go to the airport and you
get into trams that you're going to the D D stop.
Everyone is using the D tram is just it's just
circling around those same energy, nothing's changing. Yeah, So then
you're not coming across ideas that are different than yours. Um,
you're not being challenged, you're not giving healthy perspectives. So now,
(16:49):
you know, let's say politically, for example, you're you're on
one side of you know, you you represent one party
or you care about one party, You're not going to
even be exposed to people on the other party, and
if you are, you'll be exposed to them in a
certain light. So you might be like, oh, you know,
I believe I believe in abortion. So now the only
(17:10):
time I'm going to see somebody with a different opinion,
it's most likely somebody making fun of them, or somebody
attacking them, or somebody doing it that way. And it's
really interesting because I got fortunate through my life experiences
just to meet people in organic ways, have organic life
experiences with them, and then later on follow them on
Instagram and then be like, oh, wow, had we met
(17:33):
on Instagram? First, I don't even think we'd be friends.
We're on totally different sides of the planet. Then you
start to see the content that they share, which is
completely different. Like, you know, so I'll use abortions as
an example because it's such a strong topic. But like
you know, people, you know, in my world, it'll be
people saying, you know, don't tell a woman what to
do with her body. It's a woman's choice. But then
(17:55):
these people in their echo chambers they have they're given
videos of women saying like give pregnant and kill babies
on purpose, and you're sitting there like what but the
video is real, and you start to realize, like they're
getting pushed further and further into their anti abortion views
by getting this extreme content the same way we're given like, well,
(18:16):
the same politician who's trying to outlaw abortion had three
mistresses and he you know, right, yeah. And the thing
is where we're both in echo chambers, So everyone's just
getting fed intensity to fuel their already belief and then
it's just getting bigger and bigger. So that's why things
are getting more and more divided, and people can back
up their beliefs with all this evidence improved because now
(18:38):
it's everywhere. But yet it's not a fair representation of
what's actually really happening, because, like you're saying with Yin
and Yang, nothing's either you don't want complete chaosks or
complete order there's like this balance that has to happen,
and it's like we're not having the balance anymore. We're
just dividing. It's completely divided, and I think it is.
I think it was done unintentionally. As I said, I
(18:59):
think the platform the only goal was to keep you on,
you know, so day. If you love country music, they
just want to show you country music. If you loved
chocolate ice cream, they wouldn't dare show you, you know, vanilla.
And I think that just from a political standpoint, As
people realize it's a great way to send messages and
shareable memes, it turned into this. And again I don't
know the solution other than not being on social media,
(19:19):
but that echo chamber in itself is a giant bubble
and it's going to get very extremely inconvenient to kind
of get people out of that. The thing is, though,
I wonder if you can like raise your echo chamber vibration,
because like I used to be caught up in the
like very just like superficial day to day world, but
(19:42):
then I started following a lot more thought leaders and
like I'll run into people like you, and I'll follow you,
and like, I think this podcast has allowed me to
meet so many incredible thought leaders that like, now I'm
following all these different types of people, so now my
echo chamber, though, I am actually learning stuff because I
follow people who are daring really unlighting information. So I
(20:03):
feel like if you can maybe get above the base level,
it could be positive because I've learned actually a lot
on it on Instagram lately, just because I've elevated who
I follow. That makes sense, Yeah, I mean I agree
to an extent. I think I think social media is probably,
I think probably the most valuable thing that I've noticed
about social media. It's allowing people to have an actual
(20:26):
abusive relationship. How's that? What do you mean? So? You know,
like if you've ever met somebody who or been in
an abusive relationship yourself, you know it's it's not you
can't just be like, oh, get out. You know, they
keep going back to their abuser. Um. And that's the
same premise as to why people gamble, right, So the
reason people are addicted to gambling or addict keep going
(20:49):
back to their abuser is because it's it's unanticipated rewards.
So when you're with somebody who treats you poorly, you
become addicted to. First off, you internalize everything, so you
make it, you make it your fault, right um. And
at the same time, when it's good, it's really good.
When there's a good day, it's really good, and you
don't know when it's coming. And that's the same things
(21:10):
like pulling a slot machine. You pulled the slot machine, lose, lose, lose, lose,
Oh crap, I want I should keep playing. And it's
the same thing with Instagram. It's like you're flicking through Instagram.
It's like, oh that person, Oh, that person's on vacation.
I feel bad. Oh somebody just had a baby. I
want a baby. I feel bad. Oh somebody just won
an award. I wish I had that. Oh fomo, oh
feeling left that. Oh my god, a cute puppy. This
(21:33):
made my entire day, you know. And then you actually
think about, like how often those positive things are happening,
and it's saying it's like playing the slots or so
we're just seeing, we're getting We're abusing our minds every
day by ally, by torturing ourselves with what we're seeing
because we can't live up to it, we can't have it,
or it just hurts us, or we see suffering, we
(21:54):
see injustice, you know, all these things. It's like, but
so we're just living in a torture chamber really until
we get a moment of release. But yeah, we get
so we become dopamine addicts, right, Like we're addicted to
the dopamine. And the thing is we just don't know
when it comes, right, Like do people play again, People
gamble and they play the lottery because it feels better
to like have unintended money that's coming, unanticipated money, versus knowing, okay,
(22:17):
well every two weeks, here's my salary, and know exactly
what's coming. There's no reward there, there's no there's no
surprise there. Right, And there's no magic because it's like
to because people live in such like black and white worlds,
they don't let the magic come in. So then it's
also that element of like that whoa, oh my god,
I can't believe this has happened. This is so out
of the ordinary. Yeah, exactly so. And then and in
(22:37):
this situation in social media, it's like, but when it's
not magic, it's it's chipping away at us, right, It
chips away at our understanding of who we are it
also takes us, you know, it also really pulls on,
you know, our primal heartstrings of being people pleasers. You know,
we were in small societies for tens of thousands of
years and you had to keep your village or your
(23:00):
community happy and contribute, otherwise you would have been kicked out.
And if you got kicked out, you would have died.
So feeling left out, feeling rejected still feels like death
to us. And now social media is really exploiting that
by making us feel like we need to do stuff.
You know, as you know, you're an entrepreneur, I'm an entrepreneur.
We rely on social media for people to know we exist.
(23:23):
We rely on social media to know for people to
know that, oh, we have a new episode out or
I have a new book out. But what we're doing
is we're building these castles in somebody else's sandbox, and
at any moment they can take it away, you know,
and we're still doing all the work to build that up,
knowing that we don't even own this. But then we're like,
(23:43):
there is this idea of being left out, This is
the idea of not mattering. And then also we have
these you know, it's almost middle school too, because it's
just like we get these subtle signs. You know, you
post three pictures, you know, you post a picture with
a child, you post a picture with the sports card,
then you post a picture in a bikini, and then
(24:03):
you know, the social media tells you which one they
like the most. It's always going to be the bikini. Yeah.
And then you subtly, and if you're floating through life,
uh you know, um, subconsciously, you're not living in an awareness,
then that subconsciously nudges you in the direction to take it.
And then you start thinking, Okay, I have value only
(24:26):
for my body and when I show it, so let
me show it, because then I feel valuable and then
I feel like I matter, and then I feel happy. Yeah,
then I feel happy for making people like me. And
I've been, I've been. It's been valid, I've been. Um. Yeah,
I get the confirmation that I'm enough, that I matter.
But I'm only enough if I matter, if I'm showing
enough of my body. So let me just make sure
(24:46):
I keep doing that. And it's also I have to.
I have to, you know. And then even if I
did it, and then let's say you you did it,
and the picture went viral. Now you're chasing Yeah, and
you got to recreate that virality has and again and
this has nothing to do with people. This has everything
to do with algorithms. You know, this is everything. You
know this stuff is. But we as the ego beings
(25:09):
that we are, want that worth and we want people
to love us. We want that kind of love, not
the real kind of love which you write about in
your book How to Be Loved. But it's like, so
then it's like when you're so caught up in this
three day experience and this ego experience and this like
needing the validation, then you lose your actual soul of who,
why we came here and what we're trying to accomplish.
(25:31):
And well, yeah, you're you're adding more, you're adding more
clutter to your life. But focusing on and as I said,
I think most of us are floating through life without
any level of awareness. Um and and again that in itself,
I think awareness is a privilege. I think we have
to have certain experiences to again pop some of our
bubbles for us before we start realizing like, wait a minute,
(25:52):
there's endless bubbles. I'm really starting to believe in past
lives too, Like, do you believe in past lives? I do? Um? Um,
I grew up in a philosophy that speaks of past lives. Um.
You have said something earlier before we started recording about
being on your last life. There's a story called The Egg.
Have you read The Egg? I think you should. You
(26:14):
should read it. I don't even want to spoil it
for you. Um. It is the most unique, interesting perspective
on reincarnation I've read and and I think it'll resonate
with you. Okay, yeah, so it's not so even even
the even the reincarnation that like my mom taught me
about growing up. Um, you know, there's this many lives
(26:34):
and you got to go from being the snail to
the rock, to the tree to whatever to become a
human and not you have an opportunity to liberate yourself
from all of this. That's Eastern philosophy, and I think
it's cool. Um. The Egg. I'm not sure who wrote it,
but it's just it's a it's a really it's a
short story and it's just beautifully written. Um. And you
can find it out. You can just google the Egg
and I'll send it to you after this and it's
(26:55):
it's just a great story I don't want to give away,
and your listeners can look it up as well. But
it's a great perspective that kind of gave me a
little bit more peace when it came to this concept
of reincarnation UM in existence in itself and you know
who we are um and And there's some other really
because there's also now um UM. There's a really interesting
(27:19):
podcast series and I think it's called I'm not gonna
remember off the top of my head, but it's scientifically backed,
a scientific exploration of consciousness and using science to back
the concept of consciousness. Yeah, and really kind of the
the big theory with that is saying, you know, we're
we're we are not you know, to use the analogy
(27:40):
of phones, We're not the phones were the we're the
we're the operating system. Um. And we exist in the cloud.
So you know we are you know we are. We
are not our bodies, we are not our brains, we
are not our minds. You know we we are we
are part of the cloud. Um and And I get that.
So my grandfather, he was wildly smart and like read
(28:04):
tons of biology biographies and like just such an interesting
educated open minded, yet had very strong walls as well,
but like open minded about life and at all, like
not caught in a box with anything. It wanted to
hear everyone's perspective. And he died. And then when he died,
(28:24):
he came to me in a dream, like right after
he died, and he didn't really believe in an afterlife.
He didn't believe in an afterlife actually, and so I
always thought that was so fascinating because he was so
brilliant and he came to me in this dream and
he basically said, it was so vivid. I've never had
a dream like this in my life. And he said,
(28:44):
when you die, you don't you go to this next realm?
Just like right up, it's not because what I'm starting
to come up in my own little world, and I
am this is me just from my own journey when
I pieced together in my own world about it all,
it takes a lot of energy to become a physical being,
Like you have to put a lot of energy into
becoming a physical being, like maintaining that energy together and
(29:05):
holding it together. And so when you die, you kind
of just from mine. This is just what I'm gathering
from my own interpretation with my especially with my grandfather.
In this dream, you kind of you die. You still
have that energy together, but it's just lifted and you
still have all of your awareness of what happened in
your life. But just like he was saying, basically, your
life is just playing like a movie and you're seeing
(29:27):
everything you've done, good, bad. It's you're not in trouble.
There is no hell. It's not like you're like punished
for anything you've done. But you have to see everything
you've done because that's part of what you were doing
in this life, this earth school, this life that you had,
was to go get these experiences. And we're trying to
get elevated. We're trying to learn how to what our
goal is is we're trying to learn how to live
(29:50):
and love and earth on this as as conscious physical beings.
And this is like as much as we progress so
far as right here, so having to learn, and we
are the experiment. And so you gather and each time
you come back you get more enlightened because you go
back up that next layer up and you look at
your life, you assess it, you get that download of
(30:12):
information of actually, yes, this is pleasureful, but this is
not beneficial for an elevated soul. Or yes, this could
give me a lot of money, and this is like
understanding what it greed is or something, But to have
greed in this way is not beneficial for an elevated soul.
It's like, you get this chance to see all the sins,
(30:33):
the seven or whatever, the seven deadly sins, like you
get to see them play out, and then you get
to make a better decision the next time you come back.
And so that is kind of what I am like
imagining it to be like, and I that's just my
own experience from what I've gathered. But having him say
that was so like it just took some of the
(30:53):
fear away, because it's like we're just coming back here
as many times until until it clicks, like until we
clear our karma, until we clear our karma, and we
don't have all this like we're not pulled in these
in the depths of these darkness because we have understood,
we understand now finally enough how to live and love
and how to not only love ourselves, but how to
(31:14):
love others. And that is how we get to that
elevated state. Did any of that makes sense? I went
off on a rampage. Yeah, no, no, it does. So
for me, it's always interesting. Again, I grew up in
Eastern philosophy, like even though it's born in Toronto, Canada. Uh.
You know, my parents raised me sick Sikh, which means
student and Eastern philosophy. You know, if you take major
(31:37):
spiritual beliefs, you have Eastern and Western philosophy. Western philosophy
would be like your Judaism, Christianity, Islam. Eastern philosophy would
be like your your Buddhism, your Hinduism. It's the key
um um you know, behidhes and and everybody on the
east and and and the key difference that I realized
was is with the Western philosophies, it's just like a
straight line, right, it's the beginning, middle and it do this,
(32:00):
do this, do this. At the end we decide heaven, Hell, reward, punishment, whatever,
in which you also realize is a lot of the
Western um theologies. Also um are related to empires, so
like they ruled over large groups of people, and theologies
by themselves start to get interpreted into the laws and
(32:21):
the rules. Now you know, my people where we represent
two percent in India, so we're we're minorities in India.
I'm I've grown up in a world around a minority.
Anywhere I am, there's no safe space for for me.
And but that's in our culture. That's something that we embrace.
So we've never had our theologies and beliefs turned into government.
(32:42):
We've never had it turned into law. We've never had that.
We've always been on the outside. You've always always been
on the outside. Yeah, and you hang onto those beliefs.
And also I don't I don't have homogis like, there's
no homogeneous societies. There's no world where everyone looks, acts
and believes like me where I can just fall into
a comfort zone. Uh maybe other than the state up
in job, up in job in itself, you know, there's
(33:03):
the representation of different faces is all there as well. Um,
And what what you realize is so now Eastern philosophy
is get becoming really popular in the West, right, Um,
on a on a low level, that's eating tumeric and
doing yoga right on a high level, what it is is,
I think it's it's really getting people to stop thinking
about this line and think about a circle, think about
(33:26):
the cycle. You know. So that's what we're talking about,
and which, in my opinion, it just makes more sense
because everything is already in a cycle. Your seasons are
in a cycle. Um, you know, a woman's has a
menstrual cycle. Everything is a cycle, you know, like the
moon cycle. Everything. Yeah, sometimes I think about if I
eat the wrong food, you know, even having an upset stomach,
(33:48):
it comes in a cycle. It's not you know, I
have an upset stomach, I use the bathroom when I'm good.
It's a cycle, and it's everything works in a cycle.
So I think you know understanding this. Uh, you know,
the spiritual frequency also has that, and it's really interesting
because when you meet people who didn't grow up with
it exploring it, there's a beauty to it because it
(34:10):
can also get weaponized for negative you know, my mother
was raised in a world where it was weaponized because
a lot of institutionalized religion and theology ends up being
used in a way to just convince people who don't
have that that's okay, Like you don't have money, that's okay,
(34:33):
God wanted it that way. Don't do anything to better
your life, and also don't do anything to explore the
inequities of the world. You know, and in India there's
a system called the karma system. So I'm not a
fan of karma for that purpose, because here, when we
talk about karma, it's very light. We're like, oh, my
actions are my karma over there? Because it's been there
(34:56):
for hundreds of years. People believe where they are it's
because of their karma. Where they are in life, yeah so,
and and where everybody else is is because of their karma.
So if they see a starving child on the street,
they believe that's their karma, like from past life. Yeah,
Like that kid's supposed to be there because that's his karma.
(35:18):
He must have been a dickhead in a previous life,
which to you know, um, I'm supposed to be rich,
I'm supposed to be famous. That other person's is supposed
to be a street merchant. And then everybody from the
from from from all aspects of that that social ladder
believe that they are where they are, and the only
way to climb the ladder is to be the best
(35:40):
version of that and they'll get the reward in the
next life, which I think is extremely exploitive because people
who have a lot and people who have a little
is not a result of karma. That's a result of corruption,
financial illiteracy. That's a that's it. That's it. That's it.
That's a social system that's put into place, that's people hoarding.
You know. It's the same way we believe Western society
(36:02):
kind of believes in royalty, you know, like we're like, oh,
there's a royal family, Like why is this person a queen?
Why is that person a king? Why do these people
get to be rich for the sake of just being rich?
Why does their family have all this wealth? Where did
they come from? Well, it came from their empire, stealing
it from everywhere else, and that's acceptable, you know, and
then now it just becomes a normal thing. But we
(36:24):
don't think think to ourselves, like where did those jewels
from the crown come from? They came from other parts
of the world. They were taken, they were stolen. And
the karmen system gets very dangerous because it has that
element to it and it's and it's very it's very
difficult to articulate until you actually go to India and
used to see it. Because people who are on the
(36:45):
lowest ends of the social ladder, people who don't have
the most they also believe they're supposed to be there,
and it's and it's a heartbreaking thing to see because
it's social mobility, isn't is it's it's social there for
the for the least educated. Social mobility is be the
best version of this and will will reward you in
(37:07):
the next life. And I've been to partis and not
even just India, I've been to So I've been to
Bali for example, Bali, and a lot of this is
isn't so um. And again this isn't a criticism of
the Hindu theology. It's it's more of what it's morphed into.
So Bali, which is an island in Indonesia. Indonesia is
(37:29):
a heavy Muslim country, but Bali is the tourist area
and that's heavy, that's heavily Hindu um. And then you
meet people there and I remember, you know, all the
people on that island because it's a beautiful place there.
Their their belief is, you know, be very hospitable to tourists. Um.
And let these tourists understand that this is heaven on earth,
(37:51):
like this place is beautiful. And I remember speaking to
somebody who who works there and being like, well, so
you live on this beautiful island. Have you ever dreamed
of going anywhere else yourself? Like, do you want to travel?
And he's like, yeah, I want to go to London.
And I was like, so, like, do you have plans
to go? He goes, well, not in this life, he goes.
All my money has to go to the temple, he goes,
(38:11):
And if I give them enough money, maybe in my
next life to let me go to London, you know.
So for me, you're saying, like the idea of it
has kind of just gotten, like anything else, into institutionalized
and once it gets involved in the bigger grip of
it kind of is that what you're trying to say, Yeah,
it becomes exploited, Yeah, but that isn't that anything when
(38:32):
it becomes super like it is? But and I guess
I guess the way that probably not the right way institutionalized,
you know, or just I think exploited could be the
word too. But I think what it is just seeing
what happens when it goes too far. While at the
same time, okay, on this side of the on this
side of the ocean, seeing it in its infancy. So
(38:55):
this side of the ocean is like, you know, what
I cut somebody off on the highway, so then a
bird pooped on my car. That's my karma and it's
something light and fun. But like, you know, the more
we start using that heavy, heavy, heavy, it's leading the oa. Okay, okay,
so you're just you're saying you understand it, but but okay, yes, yes,
(39:17):
but this is the problem with it all with anything
is once it gets in the hands of man and
it gets taken and interpreted by individuals, then it loses
like but it's like where did it come from anyway?
Because man had to interpret it to begin with, and
you know, we all had to come up with this
collective way to speak and communicate with each other. Man,
I could sly off the rails with you and just
talk into the ether. Yeah, and I think there's a
(39:39):
beauty to that too. So it would be the Bugla Gita,
which is which is the actual they written work that's
explores it and and it becomes really interesting because what
they have is they have, you know, concepts of dharma,
and they have concepts of like I think they group
people by five different categories, right, And I think the
goal of grouping people by category wasn't to say like, oh,
(40:01):
you were of this group and this is what you're
destined to to give you a guide so you know
where to work as a guide. And also like you
know how we might say and we do it here too,
Like you know, we will say I'm an introvert, I'm
an extrovert, or we'll say the love languages or whatever.
We we always humans love making teams. And then oh,
our zodiacs, you know, like to belong. We need to
(40:24):
understand our need to belong. And then what we end
up doing is we end up creating cages because of
the groups that we create, you know, And I think
whereas um the original I think what the original purpose was, Like, hey,
like you're you're If you have this type of personality,
go out and do service. If you have this type
of personality, go sit in the forests and meditate. If
you have this type of personality, go and write in
(40:46):
a journal and make your I is there to help
you to extend your natural like state of being in
your soul. But now it's exactly we've decided that this
is how we identify and work. And I think for
me it's really important always point that's stuff out because
that's step one to Hey, it allows us to be
easier on ourselves. Like as I said, like people say, oh,
I'm a people pleaser, and they beat themselves up for it.
(41:08):
But he was like, Nook, here's the historical context. Why
were people pleasers? Because it's a survival method. It doesn't
apply anymore. Being a people pleaser doesn't help you survive
anymore because we live in larger societies and being if
your entire friends group kicks you out, you don't die.
You know you can just you can move three blocks
away and never see them again. But it's important to
(41:29):
understand that this is still software in us. You know,
this is who we are, and be aware of it
because you're gonna always still want to people please. There's
there's no antidote to that, but going easy on yourself
for wanting to do it. It's the first step to
self love. So what is love after your journey? And
then what blocks you from being able to have love
(41:50):
with your past relationship? What was your conclusion? Love isn't
getting everything, love is not wanting anything right. Love is love.
Love is being good with where you're at. And what
I realize is my lack my inability to be vulnerable
with myself and enjoy my own company. So just very quickly,
as I said the same ways to establish a connection
(42:10):
of love with you, I can do that with myself.
I can be vulnerable with myself. How I can journal right,
go deep with myself? Explore that. Easiest ways to quickly
journal pick an event that made you feel something. Write
about the event beginning, middle, and end. Write about all
your feelings around that event. Then write about all your
thoughts around that feeling. An easy way to journal Three
(42:33):
easy prompts. Dance dancing by yourself. Feel your body is
a level of intimacy. Intimacy still is another form of vulnerability.
Dance with yourself. Pray doesn't matter what your religious beliefs are.
Prayer is the authentic moment that you are asking for
something you actually want. Prayer is an authentic moment that
(42:54):
you are saying thank you the things that you're actually
saying thank you for. Look at yourself in the r
a naked look at yourself and say thank you. Instead
of looking at yourself critically, say thank you to the
body that's been with you since day zero. Prioritize your
self respect over your self esteem. Self esteem is how
other people view you. Self respect is how you view yourself.
(43:15):
The best way to increase your self respect is just
by doing hard things. Your is your compass. Do hard things.
Keep your own promises to yourself, keep your commitments to yourself.
If you want to fall in love with anybody's potential,
it should be your own, you know. So these are
things building. The stronger relationship with you will allow you
to build a stronger relationship with everybody else. Be easy
(43:38):
on yourself. You're not meant to be perfect. In the
book I mentioned, there's a five minute video of Beyonce
falling off stage and messing up her performances. Watch the
video on YouTube and see if that changes your opinion
of her. You're still going to love her after watching
that video because you just saw her be vulnerable, and
that makes you love her even more. It's okay not
to be perfect. Chase progress, but not perfection. So these
(44:02):
in themselves are just a handful of things that you
can do for yourself then you could later do with
other people to establish a deeper sense of love and
realize love is service. Love is a verb. It's an action.
It's not a prize, it's not what's waiting for you
behind door number three or at the end of a rainbow.
Is love is the actions. So that's why instead, in
order to experience love, you have to be love. Share love.
(44:24):
You don't lose love by giving it away. Give it
away and it's a gift. It's not alone. Just give
it away. And the more love you give away, the
more you'll realize. That's amazing. Okay, last question I always
in would leave your life. What do you want people
to know? I want people to know that the most
important thing in their personal lives should be self awareness.
(44:45):
If I were to, if I were able to shove
a religious belief down people's throats, it would be the
belief that paying attention to your own patterns and paying
attention to how you operate and how you interact with
the world. Self awareness. This is the most important thing
to liberate you from all the things that make life hard. Amazing, Humble,
(45:06):
You are incredible. Humble. The Coote new book How to
Be Love It's out, y'all get it. This conversation was
so great. I could literally talk to you just forever
about everything. I love your mind and all of your
thoughts on everything, and thank you for doing this intense,
deep dive case study on love and reporting back to
us your findings with this book. This is amazing. This
(45:28):
is such a great conversation and I'm so glad to
know you and I will see you out there. Pleasure,
Carol learn, she's a queen. She's getting not afraid of thing,
so just let it flow. No one can do quiet,
can't learn this sounds can So I'm here with Humble
the Poet, and we've already been having like the best
(00:30):
conversations ever. I knew I was gonna have a great
conversation with you today because I just you've gone hard
for the big questions of life, and that is what
I have been on a journey trying to do myself
is understand what the actual f is going on here?
And how do we navigate this? How do we become
(00:51):
our highest self? How do we help others become their
highest self? How do we love? How do we do
this thing right? How do we do life right? Because
it's so confusing, and there's so many mixed signals coming
at us, and there's so many mixed feelings coming at us,
and there's all these emotions. And you talk about a
lot of emotions like envy and stuff, but there's like
(01:12):
there's just everything. It's just you have to learn how
to stay between the lines of what is going to
elevate you and what is not. You have to go
on a freak ton of journeys to figure it out
and you have to go hard for it, and you
have done that, and so I am so happy to
be here with you. Humble the poet who has a
(01:33):
new book called How to Be Love? Do you say
it like that? Love? How does it? How to be loved?
And then and then I figure once people read the book,
they'll they'll they'll get rid of the d I love it.
I love that. It's both it's like how do we love?
How do we love? Depending on what you care about? Yeah,
(01:53):
you know, I think most of us want to be
loved and the secret to the spoiler alert is to
be love. To talk to me about you? How'd you
get here? Um? I loved being in school, like I
do you did? What did you love to learn? I
think I love the environment. I just loved how everything
(02:14):
was new all the time. And it was like every
every year you had a new desk and a new
best friend, and a new teacher and a new classroom,
and you know, it was almost like life with a
TV show. And it was like, you know, whenever you're
watching your favorite TV show, and then every season, like
your favorite characters came back with a new haircut and
or something and it's just everything felt just new when refreshing,
(02:37):
and I think like the variety of life, you like
to see new things, you want to be inspired. Yeah,
the width and the depth of life. I think my
personal policy is like I am a I am a
baseball glove, Like I need to be beaten up as
much as possible before this all said and done, Like
I don't want to arrive to death safely. I really
want to experience this while I can, because I do
(02:57):
do life as a vacation from not existing. So for me,
I think it's just really important to have that. And
I think as a kid, I looked at it at
school because that's what it was, and I think all
of us just had that dynamic. And then the moment
you get out of school is like you're you're supposed
to plug yourself into one experience and do that for
like fifty years and then die and makes no sense. Yeah,
(03:21):
definitely not. So what I did was I stayed in school.
I became a teacher. I was an elementary school teacher
and learning say yeah, and then have a job where
I realized now like I wanted a job where I
could do it forever and still say I've not seen
it all or done at all. And that's what I
was feeling initially in that journey. And then once I
(03:44):
got into that, I was also exploring art and I
was doing spoken word poetry, and you know, just as
a young guy, that was our excuse to go into
the city and try to meet girls at coffee shops
and do all that stuff. So that that that the
spoken words was was going really well. I would just
go to amateur Nights or four Parts and it was
a small community, and you know, I got kind of
(04:05):
plugged into that what would you speak about? What would
you how would you get Because I was talking to you
you earlier about my friend and mar gid Love that
I thought, yall to each other, you don't, but now
you will. She's a spoken word artist, and I like,
I'm always just like enamored by what comes out of
her mouth. How what do you speak about? Like? And
is it like do prepared ahead of time? Is it
like free flowing? Like? How do you know what's your?
(04:26):
What was flowing from? What flows from you? Um? I
think for me, the big idea was generally like when
I learned something that I didn't know and I was
excited to share it. So this is like and then
early back then, a lot of it was in the
world of activism. I think I was, as a teenager
in high school exposed to kind of the world of
(04:47):
activism and people challenging a system that I never thought
needed to be challenged. You know, the idea that, oh
my god, there could be police officers who aren't good apples,
you know, there there could be government that don't treat
their people properly. These weren't things that was exposed to
in my little bubble growing up, and that there's people
who live different lives that are completely different than me,
(05:10):
and I was taught to have opinions on these people
without meeting them and knowing them. And then all of
a sudden, when I had one of those moments where
it's just like, you know, I was pulled out of
one of my bubbles. I felt like the whole world
needed to learn that. It's kind of like the first
time you hear Bob Marley and you want to be like,
you walk up, somebody, have you heard of this guy
Bob Marley? And you know, I love you so much?
(05:30):
I'd had three little birds on my arm. I mean
that that's exactly what I'm saying, and you probably came
across Bob Marley well after his time was was was
passed here. But there is this kind of feeling where
you're like, I want everyone to know who he is,
even though everyone knows who he is. And I felt like,
(05:52):
that's that's kind of what it felt like when I
started learning all of this stuff, and I was I
was surrounded by people who they weren't ignorant to this stuff,
so they were just further deepness. I would be like,
oh my god, I just learned about this dude name
like Malcolm X. Have you heard of him? To like,
have you read his autobiography? I'm like, he has an
autobiography and then yeah, and then I would like get
(06:13):
the book and then read that endlessly, and then it
would start me down a path, and then I started
like learning about people in music that would you know.
I think it was why Clefs had a song on
his Carnival album called Gunpowder, and that was the first
time I heard a song talk about social activism and
I got excited about that. So I think I used
to write poems about just stuff and activism, So I think,
(06:33):
you know, back then, for example, what wasn't so like
Somali pirates were on the news, and then you learned
that that that whole these were not pirates. These were
fishermen whose you know who. The water they were fishing
and were was being polluted by by toxic waste coming
from all these cargo ships. And this was actually a
(06:55):
reaction to that. You're like, oh, that's not the story
I was told in the news. You know, these these
people were vilified to me. They were made to sound
like these evil pirates without eye patches, and they realized that, oh,
these are fishermen trying to trying to protect their water initially,
and I know things change after and I think, so
something like that, like the world needs to know. So
I started putting that in poetry and I would go
(07:16):
to different poetry slams to perform that. So for the
longest time, everything was around that. And then I got
into music naturally, you know, I started doing writing poetry
to music, and then that turned into to rap, and
I started rapping about different things and I would wrap
on popular beats and just make it about a different
social cause and whether I was talking about what was
happening in Palestine and Israel, whether I was talking about
(07:38):
what was happening in Srilanka at the time, South Africa
Zimbabwe at that point, like their currency had crashed, and
watched the documentary about how every day they had to
dig for gold just to find food because they would
not accept any of the currency. And I just thought
this stuff was super interesting and I started sharing it.
And at the same time, I'm working as an elementary
school teacher, so now I'm trying to educate my little
(08:00):
eight year olds about this, and they're soaking it all
in because I'm I'm I'm there, I'm their world at
that point, and um, I didn't realize at the time
that was also becoming much more effective as a communicator
because I was speaking to eight year olds and oh, wow,
you really got to break it down. Yeah basically, yeah, yeah,
you're pretty much packaging it. Yeah. Yeah, you're you're figuring
(08:22):
out how to take an idea and package it. And
the educational idea was nothing is too complex, it's just
how you package it. And I was learning, you know,
I started we started learning about like certain alternative schools
that were like teaching six year olds how to use
power tools, you know. And then again it was like
this isn't too complicated for them, as long as you
(08:42):
break it down um into segments and pieces that they
can conceive, like that's all it is. How do you
package it um and with Especially in Toronto and in
Canada at this point, they didn't hold kids back. So
if you had a kid who was who wasn't doing well,
you didn't fail them. They don't feel grade. You keep
pushing them up because you still believe in their socialization.
(09:03):
But you have to accommodate their their lesson plan. So
if I was teaching the third or the fourth grade,
I would have kids operating at a first grade level.
I would have kids operating at a sixth grade level,
and I would have to accommodate and create unique plans
for them, meeting them where they're are. Ah, so you're
really good at stretching your mind, I mean creative and learning. Yeah,
and also just figuring out like how do I say
(09:25):
this as simply as possible? And you know, the general rule,
even for the for the books now is the general
rule is like no words bigger than mayonnaise. That was
always like the funny rule, like don't make a word
bigger than mayonnaise, and then everyone will be okay. And
I started to realize that just kind of every little
piece of experiences. And before all of this, I was
like a telemarketer for like five years while I was
(09:46):
in college, you know, paying my way. So it's like
it was always I was always into the world of
communication and trying to get people to understand whatever I
was trying to do, whether I was trying to sell
them a newspaper subscription or do a survey about their
fax machine or whatever I had to do for a living.
And everything that came into and that came into the
(10:07):
art because I had developed ten thousand hours worth of
things I didn't realize I had. And then I think
once I got into hip hop, um, you know, this
was the time YouTube began started recording all my stuff.
And then back then, you know, as it was, it
was a brand new platform. Anybody who did anything got attention,
and that started my journey into the arts. Um, and
(10:27):
I thought I had a bunch of opportunities, so I left.
I left teaching to pursue the opportunities. Um, none of
the opportunities. And and you know, you're in Nashville, another
place where's a lot of music happening. Um, the music
industry isn't the most above board industry. Yeah. Yeah, it
gives you a deep dive into the full spectrum of
it all. Yeah, so I got I got that education
(10:49):
very quickly. So you went in with like high hopes
of like the what you thought it could be, like
the goodness that the industry would be, and then you
realized the underbelly, the dark underbelly. Yeah, because as a teacher,
you're you don't as a teacher, like you're paid based
on your seniority, right, and your seniority is based on time.
So it's like the teacher next door to me, if
(11:10):
they've been working for five more years, they're getting five
years worth of more money than me. And that's it.
They're not my competition. There's nothing I can do to
attract you know. You know, we're all on the same team.
And let's say I went to lunch or something and
I got stuck and I'm running late. They care about
the kids enough that they'll watch my class. Yeah, there
wasn't just like, oh, I'm gonna let him fail in
(11:31):
front of our really beautiful it is really beautiful. It
was very communal, but that was a bubble in itself
that I lived in. Because you think about the bubble world,
but but don't we have to make these bubbles for ourselves.
Because I'm kind of the same as you, Like I
grew up on a bubble, was very protected, and then
went on my own journey to like uncover what's happening
(11:52):
in the world, and you know, just make sense of
it and see all the differences and try to understand
it and try to get my own explanation of life.
And but I have realized sometimes I need to go
back into a bubble for like just safe keeping for
a minute, just to like reboot, just to like recharge,
you know, like it's almost like you have to go
back into your cocoon for just a minute before you're
(12:14):
ready to get your wings out again and fly and
go spread the message and do the work. But like
I found that myself in like seasons with that, like
I'm coming out of a cocoon season. Like I really
I really bubbled myself up these past few years. I
think just because the world was so big and scary.
It's like sometimes I feel like I need that bubble.
Do you ever feel that way? A one thousand percent
(12:35):
I think it's more recognizing how often when the bubble pops,
how often it's you're doing or life's doing. Because I
feel like, you know, some of us get so comfortable
in our bubble that we try our best to protect it,
thinking that it'll never pop. See. And that's the difference.
(12:57):
I feel like, to me, I want to build the
bubble that I feel aligned to Bill. But then one
when that season's over, it's like it's time to move on,
you know. And yeah, and which I think is completely
you know, when we're kids and you know, we venture out,
you know, let's like you venture out to the playground,
which you with your parents, and then you know, you
fall or you meet a mean kid. The first thing
you do is run back to your parents. So you
run back to what's safe, and then you regroup yourself
(13:19):
and then you go out again. You know, it's it's
it's the same thing like if you're learning how to swim,
like you start, you start out the wall of the pool,
and then you push yourself out. If it gets scary,
you struggle to get back to the wall, but there's
that wall, you know your safe place. And the thing
is doing it consciously is very different than doing it unconsciously.
Like when I was a teacher, I didn't know I
was at a bubble. I literally thought, you know, I
(13:41):
was in this world of like, oh, I have talent.
Anybody who recognizes my talent is here to help me,
you know, which is completely not the truth. Anybody who
gives me a piece of paperwork that says they're gonna
pay me money to do work, is going to pay
me the paperwork, pay me the money, you know, which
is not true. So these are things I didn't know.
So when bubble, when that bubble bursted for me, you know,
(14:03):
I was choking on the fresh air, you know, So
I think, yeah, So I really think what I realized
from that is it's like you can't avoid uncomfortable situations.
You can't invoid you can't avoid inconvenient troops. So what
it is is when you're in a good place, you know,
voluntarily dive into this. And and that's why I love
the yin yang symbol because I think the Yin Yang
(14:24):
symbol shows it really well. Um. You know, if you
look at it as order and chaos, and you know
from from order chaos is going to come. That's where
you have the little dot and and from chaos you
can find order. And I think the perfect balance of
that is to have one foot in order, one foot
in what you know in the familiar, and one foot
(14:44):
in what you don't know. Yeah, because you can't go
all in. You can't free fall because then you're not
gonna be able to be effective because you're just trying
to like grab onto something exactly. And you also can't
have both feet in what's comfortable, because now you're gonna
that's when you get to monotony, boredom, depression, right, So
you and also like that's when people start doing all
(15:04):
the fighting for what they know is comfortable, and like
the disregarding of humanity and humanity chambers. Yeah, what is it?
Echo chambers? Echo chambers? So like social media is an
echo chamber, right, So social media the unintended consequence. So
any social media platform that you have, let's say Instagram
for example, the company's goals to just keep you on right. Yes,
(15:27):
Now they're paying attention to your behavior, your subconscious behavior,
and they're giving you things that you subconsciously want, not
things that you think you want. You know, so you
may say to yourself, uh, you know, I want videos
about how to cook healthy breakfast because that's what I
care about. I care about healthy stuff. But subconsciously, you
really care about who tellers, what is dating, or you
(15:47):
care about gossip or whatever, which is you know, like
potato chips, like just addictive pieces of stuff. So social
media picks up on that. Like the smartest people in
the world work for these companies, so they have all
the money, so they subconsciously create an experience for you
to keep you endless. Yeah, eating the potato chips, eating
the potato chips. But what they're also doing is by
(16:08):
making the potato chips that they're feeding you, um won't change.
So they're not here to give you new ideas because
they don't want you to leave. They don't want to
challenge what you already know and already like, which puts
you in a chamber of echoes. So then it's like
you're basically in a frequency field. Like it's like you're
(16:29):
in a yeah, you're yeah, you're in the like in
an airplane. When you go to the airport and you
get into trams that you're going to the D D stop.
Everyone is using the D tram is just it's just
circling around those same energy, nothing's changing. Yeah, So then
you're not coming across ideas that are different than yours. Um,
you're not being challenged, you're not giving healthy perspectives. So now,
(16:49):
you know, let's say politically, for example, you're you're on
one side of you know, you you represent one party
or you care about one party, You're not going to
even be exposed to people on the other party, and
if you are, you'll be exposed to them in a
certain light. So you might be like, oh, you know,
I believe I believe in abortion. So now the only
(17:10):
time I'm going to see somebody with a different opinion,
it's most likely somebody making fun of them, or somebody
attacking them, or somebody doing it that way. And it's
really interesting because I got fortunate through my life experiences
just to meet people in organic ways, have organic life
experiences with them, and then later on follow them on
Instagram and then be like, oh, wow, had we met
(17:33):
on Instagram? First, I don't even think we'd be friends.
We're on totally different sides of the planet. Then you
start to see the content that they share, which is
completely different. Like, you know, so I'll use abortions as
an example because it's such a strong topic. But like
you know, people, you know, in my world, it'll be
people saying, you know, don't tell a woman what to
do with her body. It's a woman's choice. But then
(17:55):
these people in their echo chambers they have they're given
videos of women saying like give pregnant and kill babies
on purpose, and you're sitting there like what but the
video is real, and you start to realize, like they're
getting pushed further and further into their anti abortion views
by getting this extreme content the same way we're given like, well,
(18:16):
the same politician who's trying to outlaw abortion had three
mistresses and he you know, right, yeah. And the thing
is where we're both in echo chambers, So everyone's just
getting fed intensity to fuel their already belief and then
it's just getting bigger and bigger. So that's why things
are getting more and more divided, and people can back
up their beliefs with all this evidence improved because now
(18:38):
it's everywhere. But yet it's not a fair representation of
what's actually really happening, because, like you're saying with Yin
and Yang, nothing's either you don't want complete chaosks or
complete order there's like this balance that has to happen,
and it's like we're not having the balance anymore. We're
just dividing. It's completely divided, and I think it is.
I think it was done unintentionally. As I said, I
(18:59):
think the platform the only goal was to keep you on,
you know, so day. If you love country music, they
just want to show you country music. If you loved
chocolate ice cream, they wouldn't dare show you, you know, vanilla.
And I think that just from a political standpoint, As
people realize it's a great way to send messages and
shareable memes, it turned into this. And again I don't
know the solution other than not being on social media,
(19:19):
but that echo chamber in itself is a giant bubble
and it's going to get very extremely inconvenient to kind
of get people out of that. The thing is, though,
I wonder if you can like raise your echo chamber vibration,
because like I used to be caught up in the
like very just like superficial day to day world, but
(19:42):
then I started following a lot more thought leaders and
like I'll run into people like you, and I'll follow you,
and like, I think this podcast has allowed me to
meet so many incredible thought leaders that like, now I'm
following all these different types of people, so now my
echo chamber, though, I am actually learning stuff because I
follow people who are daring really unlighting information. So I
(20:03):
feel like if you can maybe get above the base level,
it could be positive because I've learned actually a lot
on it on Instagram lately, just because I've elevated who
I follow. That makes sense, Yeah, I mean I agree
to an extent. I think I think social media is probably,
I think probably the most valuable thing that I've noticed
about social media. It's allowing people to have an actual
(20:26):
abusive relationship. How's that? What do you mean? So? You know,
like if you've ever met somebody who or been in
an abusive relationship yourself, you know it's it's not you
can't just be like, oh, get out. You know, they
keep going back to their abuser. Um. And that's the
same premise as to why people gamble, right, So the
reason people are addicted to gambling or addict keep going
(20:49):
back to their abuser is because it's it's unanticipated rewards.
So when you're with somebody who treats you poorly, you
become addicted to. First off, you internalize everything, so you
make it, you make it your fault, right um. And
at the same time, when it's good, it's really good.
When there's a good day, it's really good, and you
don't know when it's coming. And that's the same things
(21:10):
like pulling a slot machine. You pulled the slot machine, lose, lose, lose, lose,
Oh crap, I want I should keep playing. And it's
the same thing with Instagram. It's like you're flicking through Instagram.
It's like, oh that person, Oh, that person's on vacation.
I feel bad. Oh somebody just had a baby. I
want a baby. I feel bad. Oh somebody just won
an award. I wish I had that. Oh fomo, oh
feeling left that. Oh my god, a cute puppy. This
(21:33):
made my entire day, you know. And then you actually
think about, like how often those positive things are happening,
and it's saying it's like playing the slots or so
we're just seeing, we're getting We're abusing our minds every
day by ally, by torturing ourselves with what we're seeing
because we can't live up to it, we can't have it,
or it just hurts us, or we see suffering, we
(21:54):
see injustice, you know, all these things. It's like, but
so we're just living in a torture chamber really until
we get a moment of release. But yeah, we get
so we become dopamine addicts, right, Like we're addicted to
the dopamine. And the thing is we just don't know
when it comes, right, Like do people play again, People
gamble and they play the lottery because it feels better
to like have unintended money that's coming, unanticipated money, versus knowing, okay,
(22:17):
well every two weeks, here's my salary, and know exactly
what's coming. There's no reward there, there's no there's no
surprise there. Right, And there's no magic because it's like
to because people live in such like black and white worlds,
they don't let the magic come in. So then it's
also that element of like that whoa, oh my god,
I can't believe this has happened. This is so out
of the ordinary. Yeah, exactly so. And then and in
(22:37):
this situation in social media, it's like, but when it's
not magic, it's it's chipping away at us, right, It
chips away at our understanding of who we are it
also takes us, you know, it also really pulls on,
you know, our primal heartstrings of being people pleasers. You know,
we were in small societies for tens of thousands of
years and you had to keep your village or your
(23:00):
community happy and contribute, otherwise you would have been kicked out.
And if you got kicked out, you would have died.
So feeling left out, feeling rejected still feels like death
to us. And now social media is really exploiting that
by making us feel like we need to do stuff.
You know, as you know, you're an entrepreneur, I'm an entrepreneur.
We rely on social media for people to know we exist.
(23:23):
We rely on social media to know for people to
know that, oh, we have a new episode out or
I have a new book out. But what we're doing
is we're building these castles in somebody else's sandbox, and
at any moment they can take it away, you know,
and we're still doing all the work to build that up,
knowing that we don't even own this. But then we're like,
(23:43):
there is this idea of being left out, This is
the idea of not mattering. And then also we have
these you know, it's almost middle school too, because it's
just like we get these subtle signs. You know, you
post three pictures, you know, you post a picture with
a child, you post a picture with the sports card,
then you post a picture in a bikini, and then
(24:03):
you know, the social media tells you which one they
like the most. It's always going to be the bikini. Yeah.
And then you subtly, and if you're floating through life,
uh you know, um, subconsciously, you're not living in an awareness,
then that subconsciously nudges you in the direction to take it.
And then you start thinking, Okay, I have value only
(24:26):
for my body and when I show it, so let
me show it, because then I feel valuable and then
I feel like I matter, and then I feel happy. Yeah,
then I feel happy for making people like me. And
I've been, I've been. It's been valid, I've been. Um. Yeah,
I get the confirmation that I'm enough, that I matter.
But I'm only enough if I matter, if I'm showing
enough of my body. So let me just make sure
(24:46):
I keep doing that. And it's also I have to.
I have to, you know. And then even if I
did it, and then let's say you you did it,
and the picture went viral. Now you're chasing Yeah, and
you got to recreate that virality has and again and
this has nothing to do with people. This has everything
to do with algorithms. You know, this is everything. You
know this stuff is. But we as the ego beings
(25:09):
that we are, want that worth and we want people
to love us. We want that kind of love, not
the real kind of love which you write about in
your book How to Be Loved. But it's like, so
then it's like when you're so caught up in this
three day experience and this ego experience and this like
needing the validation, then you lose your actual soul of who,
why we came here and what we're trying to accomplish.
(25:31):
And well, yeah, you're you're adding more, you're adding more
clutter to your life. But focusing on and as I said,
I think most of us are floating through life without
any level of awareness. Um and and again that in itself,
I think awareness is a privilege. I think we have
to have certain experiences to again pop some of our
bubbles for us before we start realizing like, wait a minute,
(25:52):
there's endless bubbles. I'm really starting to believe in past
lives too, Like, do you believe in past lives? I do? Um? Um,
I grew up in a philosophy that speaks of past lives. Um.
You have said something earlier before we started recording about
being on your last life. There's a story called The Egg.
Have you read The Egg? I think you should. You
(26:14):
should read it. I don't even want to spoil it
for you. Um. It is the most unique, interesting perspective
on reincarnation I've read and and I think it'll resonate
with you. Okay, yeah, so it's not so even even
the even the reincarnation that like my mom taught me
about growing up. Um, you know, there's this many lives
(26:34):
and you got to go from being the snail to
the rock, to the tree to whatever to become a
human and not you have an opportunity to liberate yourself
from all of this. That's Eastern philosophy, and I think
it's cool. Um. The Egg. I'm not sure who wrote it,
but it's just it's a it's a really it's a
short story and it's just beautifully written. Um. And you
can find it out. You can just google the Egg
and I'll send it to you after this and it's
(26:55):
it's just a great story I don't want to give away,
and your listeners can look it up as well. But
it's a great perspective that kind of gave me a
little bit more peace when it came to this concept
of reincarnation UM in existence in itself and you know
who we are um and And there's some other really
because there's also now um UM. There's a really interesting
(27:19):
podcast series and I think it's called I'm not gonna
remember off the top of my head, but it's scientifically backed,
a scientific exploration of consciousness and using science to back
the concept of consciousness. Yeah, and really kind of the
the big theory with that is saying, you know, we're
we're we are not you know, to use the analogy
(27:40):
of phones, We're not the phones were the we're the
we're the operating system. Um. And we exist in the cloud.
So you know we are you know we are. We
are not our bodies, we are not our brains, we
are not our minds. You know we we are we
are part of the cloud. Um and And I get that.
So my grandfather, he was wildly smart and like read
(28:04):
tons of biology biographies and like just such an interesting
educated open minded, yet had very strong walls as well,
but like open minded about life and at all, like
not caught in a box with anything. It wanted to
hear everyone's perspective. And he died. And then when he died,
(28:24):
he came to me in a dream, like right after
he died, and he didn't really believe in an afterlife.
He didn't believe in an afterlife actually, and so I
always thought that was so fascinating because he was so
brilliant and he came to me in this dream and
he basically said, it was so vivid. I've never had
a dream like this in my life. And he said,
(28:44):
when you die, you don't you go to this next realm?
Just like right up, it's not because what I'm starting
to come up in my own little world, and I
am this is me just from my own journey when
I pieced together in my own world about it all,
it takes a lot of energy to become a physical being,
Like you have to put a lot of energy into
becoming a physical being, like maintaining that energy together and
(29:05):
holding it together. And so when you die, you kind
of just from mine. This is just what I'm gathering
from my own interpretation with my especially with my grandfather.
In this dream, you kind of you die. You still
have that energy together, but it's just lifted and you
still have all of your awareness of what happened in
your life. But just like he was saying, basically, your
life is just playing like a movie and you're seeing
(29:27):
everything you've done, good, bad. It's you're not in trouble.
There is no hell. It's not like you're like punished
for anything you've done. But you have to see everything
you've done because that's part of what you were doing
in this life, this earth school, this life that you had,
was to go get these experiences. And we're trying to
get elevated. We're trying to learn how to what our
goal is is we're trying to learn how to live
(29:50):
and love and earth on this as as conscious physical beings.
And this is like as much as we progress so
far as right here, so having to learn, and we
are the experiment. And so you gather and each time
you come back you get more enlightened because you go
back up that next layer up and you look at
your life, you assess it, you get that download of
(30:12):
information of actually, yes, this is pleasureful, but this is
not beneficial for an elevated soul. Or yes, this could
give me a lot of money, and this is like
understanding what it greed is or something, But to have
greed in this way is not beneficial for an elevated soul.
It's like, you get this chance to see all the sins,
(30:33):
the seven or whatever, the seven deadly sins, like you
get to see them play out, and then you get
to make a better decision the next time you come back.
And so that is kind of what I am like
imagining it to be like, and I that's just my
own experience from what I've gathered. But having him say
that was so like it just took some of the
(30:53):
fear away, because it's like we're just coming back here
as many times until until it clicks, like until we
clear our karma, until we clear our karma, and we
don't have all this like we're not pulled in these
in the depths of these darkness because we have understood,
we understand now finally enough how to live and love
and how to not only love ourselves, but how to
(31:14):
love others. And that is how we get to that
elevated state. Did any of that makes sense? I went
off on a rampage. Yeah, no, no, it does. So
for me, it's always interesting. Again, I grew up in
Eastern philosophy, like even though it's born in Toronto, Canada. Uh.
You know, my parents raised me sick Sikh, which means
student and Eastern philosophy. You know, if you take major
(31:37):
spiritual beliefs, you have Eastern and Western philosophy. Western philosophy
would be like your Judaism, Christianity, Islam. Eastern philosophy would
be like your your Buddhism, your Hinduism. It's the key
um um you know, behidhes and and everybody on the
east and and and the key difference that I realized
was is with the Western philosophies, it's just like a
straight line, right, it's the beginning, middle and it do this,
(32:00):
do this, do this. At the end we decide heaven, Hell, reward, punishment, whatever,
in which you also realize is a lot of the
Western um theologies. Also um are related to empires, so
like they ruled over large groups of people, and theologies
by themselves start to get interpreted into the laws and
(32:21):
the rules. Now you know, my people where we represent
two percent in India, so we're we're minorities in India.
I'm I've grown up in a world around a minority.
Anywhere I am, there's no safe space for for me.
And but that's in our culture. That's something that we embrace.
So we've never had our theologies and beliefs turned into government.
(32:42):
We've never had it turned into law. We've never had that.
We've always been on the outside. You've always always been
on the outside. Yeah, and you hang onto those beliefs.
And also I don't I don't have homogis like, there's
no homogeneous societies. There's no world where everyone looks, acts
and believes like me where I can just fall into
a comfort zone. Uh maybe other than the state up
in job, up in job in itself, you know, there's
(33:03):
the representation of different faces is all there as well. Um,
And what what you realize is so now Eastern philosophy
is get becoming really popular in the West, right, Um,
on a on a low level, that's eating tumeric and
doing yoga right on a high level, what it is is,
I think it's it's really getting people to stop thinking
about this line and think about a circle, think about
(33:26):
the cycle. You know. So that's what we're talking about,
and which, in my opinion, it just makes more sense
because everything is already in a cycle. Your seasons are
in a cycle. Um, you know, a woman's has a
menstrual cycle. Everything is a cycle, you know, like the
moon cycle. Everything. Yeah, sometimes I think about if I
eat the wrong food, you know, even having an upset stomach,
(33:48):
it comes in a cycle. It's not you know, I
have an upset stomach, I use the bathroom when I'm good.
It's a cycle, and it's everything works in a cycle.
So I think you know understanding this. Uh, you know,
the spiritual frequency also has that, and it's really interesting
because when you meet people who didn't grow up with
it exploring it, there's a beauty to it because it
(34:10):
can also get weaponized for negative you know, my mother
was raised in a world where it was weaponized because
a lot of institutionalized religion and theology ends up being
used in a way to just convince people who don't
have that that's okay, Like you don't have money, that's okay,
(34:33):
God wanted it that way. Don't do anything to better
your life, and also don't do anything to explore the
inequities of the world. You know, and in India there's
a system called the karma system. So I'm not a
fan of karma for that purpose, because here, when we
talk about karma, it's very light. We're like, oh, my
actions are my karma over there? Because it's been there
(34:56):
for hundreds of years. People believe where they are it's
because of their karma. Where they are in life, yeah so,
and and where everybody else is is because of their karma.
So if they see a starving child on the street,
they believe that's their karma, like from past life. Yeah,
Like that kid's supposed to be there because that's his karma.
(35:18):
He must have been a dickhead in a previous life,
which to you know, um, I'm supposed to be rich,
I'm supposed to be famous. That other person's is supposed
to be a street merchant. And then everybody from the
from from from all aspects of that that social ladder
believe that they are where they are, and the only
way to climb the ladder is to be the best
(35:40):
version of that and they'll get the reward in the
next life, which I think is extremely exploitive because people
who have a lot and people who have a little
is not a result of karma. That's a result of corruption,
financial illiteracy. That's a that's it. That's it. That's it.
That's a social system that's put into place, that's people hoarding.
You know. It's the same way we believe Western society
(36:02):
kind of believes in royalty, you know, like we're like, oh,
there's a royal family, Like why is this person a queen?
Why is that person a king? Why do these people
get to be rich for the sake of just being rich?
Why does their family have all this wealth? Where did
they come from? Well, it came from their empire, stealing
it from everywhere else, and that's acceptable, you know, and
then now it just becomes a normal thing. But we
(36:24):
don't think think to ourselves, like where did those jewels
from the crown come from? They came from other parts
of the world. They were taken, they were stolen. And
the karmen system gets very dangerous because it has that
element to it and it's and it's very it's very
difficult to articulate until you actually go to India and
used to see it. Because people who are on the
(36:45):
lowest ends of the social ladder, people who don't have
the most they also believe they're supposed to be there,
and it's and it's a heartbreaking thing to see because
it's social mobility, isn't is it's it's social there for
the for the least educated. Social mobility is be the
best version of this and will will reward you in
(37:07):
the next life. And I've been to partis and not
even just India, I've been to So I've been to
Bali for example, Bali, and a lot of this is
isn't so um. And again this isn't a criticism of
the Hindu theology. It's it's more of what it's morphed into.
So Bali, which is an island in Indonesia. Indonesia is
(37:29):
a heavy Muslim country, but Bali is the tourist area
and that's heavy, that's heavily Hindu um. And then you
meet people there and I remember, you know, all the
people on that island because it's a beautiful place there.
Their their belief is, you know, be very hospitable to tourists. Um.
And let these tourists understand that this is heaven on earth,
(37:51):
like this place is beautiful. And I remember speaking to
somebody who who works there and being like, well, so
you live on this beautiful island. Have you ever dreamed
of going anywhere else yourself? Like, do you want to travel?
And he's like, yeah, I want to go to London.
And I was like, so, like, do you have plans
to go? He goes, well, not in this life, he goes.
All my money has to go to the temple, he goes,
(38:11):
And if I give them enough money, maybe in my
next life to let me go to London, you know.
So for me, you're saying, like the idea of it
has kind of just gotten, like anything else, into institutionalized
and once it gets involved in the bigger grip of
it kind of is that what you're trying to say, Yeah,
it becomes exploited, Yeah, but that isn't that anything when
(38:32):
it becomes super like it is? But and I guess
I guess the way that probably not the right way institutionalized,
you know, or just I think exploited could be the
word too. But I think what it is just seeing
what happens when it goes too far. While at the
same time, okay, on this side of the on this
side of the ocean, seeing it in its infancy. So
(38:55):
this side of the ocean is like, you know, what
I cut somebody off on the highway, so then a
bird pooped on my car. That's my karma and it's
something light and fun. But like, you know, the more
we start using that heavy, heavy, heavy, it's leading the oa. Okay, okay,
so you're just you're saying you understand it, but but okay, yes, yes,
(39:17):
but this is the problem with it all with anything
is once it gets in the hands of man and
it gets taken and interpreted by individuals, then it loses
like but it's like where did it come from anyway?
Because man had to interpret it to begin with, and
you know, we all had to come up with this
collective way to speak and communicate with each other. Man,
I could sly off the rails with you and just
talk into the ether. Yeah, and I think there's a
(39:39):
beauty to that too. So it would be the Bugla Gita,
which is which is the actual they written work that's
explores it and and it becomes really interesting because what
they have is they have, you know, concepts of dharma,
and they have concepts of like I think they group
people by five different categories, right, And I think the
goal of grouping people by category wasn't to say like, oh,
(40:01):
you were of this group and this is what you're
destined to to give you a guide so you know
where to work as a guide. And also like you
know how we might say and we do it here too,
Like you know, we will say I'm an introvert, I'm
an extrovert, or we'll say the love languages or whatever.
We we always humans love making teams. And then oh,
our zodiacs, you know, like to belong. We need to
(40:24):
understand our need to belong. And then what we end
up doing is we end up creating cages because of
the groups that we create, you know, And I think
whereas um the original I think what the original purpose was, Like, hey,
like you're you're If you have this type of personality,
go out and do service. If you have this type
of personality, go sit in the forests and meditate. If
you have this type of personality, go and write in
(40:46):
a journal and make your I is there to help
you to extend your natural like state of being in
your soul. But now it's exactly we've decided that this
is how we identify and work. And I think for
me it's really important always point that's stuff out because
that's step one to Hey, it allows us to be
easier on ourselves. Like as I said, like people say, oh,
I'm a people pleaser, and they beat themselves up for it.
(41:08):
But he was like, Nook, here's the historical context. Why
were people pleasers? Because it's a survival method. It doesn't
apply anymore. Being a people pleaser doesn't help you survive
anymore because we live in larger societies and being if
your entire friends group kicks you out, you don't die.
You know you can just you can move three blocks
away and never see them again. But it's important to
(41:29):
understand that this is still software in us. You know,
this is who we are, and be aware of it
because you're gonna always still want to people please. There's
there's no antidote to that, but going easy on yourself
for wanting to do it. It's the first step to
self love. So what is love after your journey? And
then what blocks you from being able to have love
(41:50):
with your past relationship? What was your conclusion? Love isn't
getting everything, love is not wanting anything right. Love is love.
Love is being good with where you're at. And what
I realize is my lack my inability to be vulnerable
with myself and enjoy my own company. So just very quickly,
as I said the same ways to establish a connection
(42:10):
of love with you, I can do that with myself.
I can be vulnerable with myself. How I can journal right,
go deep with myself? Explore that. Easiest ways to quickly
journal pick an event that made you feel something. Write
about the event beginning, middle, and end. Write about all
your feelings around that event. Then write about all your
thoughts around that feeling. An easy way to journal Three
(42:33):
easy prompts. Dance dancing by yourself. Feel your body is
a level of intimacy. Intimacy still is another form of vulnerability.
Dance with yourself. Pray doesn't matter what your religious beliefs are.
Prayer is the authentic moment that you are asking for
something you actually want. Prayer is an authentic moment that
(42:54):
you are saying thank you the things that you're actually
saying thank you for. Look at yourself in the r
a naked look at yourself and say thank you. Instead
of looking at yourself critically, say thank you to the
body that's been with you since day zero. Prioritize your
self respect over your self esteem. Self esteem is how
other people view you. Self respect is how you view yourself.
(43:15):
The best way to increase your self respect is just
by doing hard things. Your is your compass. Do hard things.
Keep your own promises to yourself, keep your commitments to yourself.
If you want to fall in love with anybody's potential,
it should be your own, you know. So these are
things building. The stronger relationship with you will allow you
to build a stronger relationship with everybody else. Be easy
(43:38):
on yourself. You're not meant to be perfect. In the
book I mentioned, there's a five minute video of Beyonce
falling off stage and messing up her performances. Watch the
video on YouTube and see if that changes your opinion
of her. You're still going to love her after watching
that video because you just saw her be vulnerable, and
that makes you love her even more. It's okay not
to be perfect. Chase progress, but not perfection. So these
(44:02):
in themselves are just a handful of things that you
can do for yourself then you could later do with
other people to establish a deeper sense of love and
realize love is service. Love is a verb. It's an action.
It's not a prize, it's not what's waiting for you
behind door number three or at the end of a rainbow.
Is love is the actions. So that's why instead, in
order to experience love, you have to be love. Share love.
(44:24):
You don't lose love by giving it away. Give it
away and it's a gift. It's not alone. Just give
it away. And the more love you give away, the
more you'll realize. That's amazing. Okay, last question I always
in would leave your life. What do you want people
to know? I want people to know that the most
important thing in their personal lives should be self awareness.
(44:45):
If I were to, if I were able to shove
a religious belief down people's throats, it would be the
belief that paying attention to your own patterns and paying
attention to how you operate and how you interact with
the world. Self awareness. This is the most important thing
to liberate you from all the things that make life hard. Amazing, Humble,
(45:06):
You are incredible. Humble. The Coote new book How to
Be Love It's out, y'all get it. This conversation was
so great. I could literally talk to you just forever
about everything. I love your mind and all of your
thoughts on everything, and thank you for doing this intense,
deep dive case study on love and reporting back to
us your findings with this book. This is amazing. This
(45:28):
is such a great conversation and I'm so glad to
know you and I will see you out there. Pleasure,
Host
Caroline Hobby
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