OPHIRA EISENBERG: Stand-up comedian, Ophira Eisenberg, has got jokes AND wisdom!

Today on GET REAL Podcast...OPHIRA EISENBERG!

OPHIRA is a woman of many titles! Mom, host, storyteller, podcaster, author, and INCREDIBLE stand-up comedian…just to name a few!

IN THIS EPISODE, we talk:
• The PRESSURES of being a stand-up COMEDIAN
• Navigating a world of CREATIVES
• Living a FLOURISHED life
• Showing off your VULNERABILITIES
• The power of the MICROPHONE

You can order a copy of Ophira’s book, “Screw everyone: Sleeping My Way To Monogamy,” HERE!

Want to see Ophira LIVE!? Grab tickets, HERE!

Listen to OPHIRA EISENBERG on GET REAL Podcast...NOW!

Connect with OPHIRA:
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Twitter
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Parenting Is A Joke Podcast
& more!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Carl Lone.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
She's a queen and talking and song.

Speaker 1 (00:14):
You know, she's getting really.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
Not afraid to be episode and so just let it flow.
No one can do we quiet Cary Lone is sound
of Caroline. Okay, I'm already obsessed with Fira Eisenberg. Yes,
you are hysterical. You are a stand up comedian. I
mean you run with the best of them, like you
have been with Chelsea Handler, Kevin Hart. You're on all

(00:38):
these shows? Are you an HBO girls? Is that right?

Speaker 1 (00:41):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (00:42):
Like the show?

Speaker 1 (00:43):
Yeah, very strangely as myself, you.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
Were, So you were like the comedian. Oh, Fira was
on the show. I was.

Speaker 1 (00:50):
It was The Moth, which is a so it was
the Hannah's character came to the Moth, which is a
storytelling show and a podcast, and you show that's very
very popular throughout America and the world. And so I've
hosted a great deal of these live shows. So I
hosted that show that was, you know, for the for

(01:11):
the television show as myself, which was kind of interesting
to say your real name.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
How was that? How was that being yourself on a
hit TV show?

Speaker 1 (01:20):
I mean that much easier, much easier, exactly. I was like,
is anyone going to tell me that I'm not in character?
I guess not.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
Yeah, And do you really have a script or did
you just kind of win it?

Speaker 1 (01:30):
Yeah? There was some markers of what to hit, but
not really yet. It was a lot more like you
know what you're doing right, and anytime anyone ever says
to you that is such a great compliment. And also
you have to have that moment of I better know
what I'm doing?

Speaker 2 (01:44):
Okay, So do you get to a point where you
actually know what you're doing? Because I've been thinking about
that lately, and like I've been podcasting for a long time,
interviewing people, but I don't have like any like training
as a host other than I've been in the entertainment
industry as like a singer is on a TV show
all this stuff. But like I have like life training,
but like I don't ever, I never like learned how
to do anything. Did you learn how to be a

(02:06):
comedian or do you just like do you just like
become one? How does it happen when like all of
a sudden you are knowing what you're doing right?

Speaker 1 (02:14):
I think it's I mean, it's very different for everybody else.
And I did overhear someone saying this was I feel
like an intern that was showing someone around a performance space,
and I heard her saying to her friend, it doesn't
matter if you're not a writer, you just start saying
that you're a writer. And I was like, that is

(02:34):
so not the mentality I grew up with. That wasn't
even the way we That would be like arrogance or misinformation,
like the way we think of things now, and the
kind of different avenues to realize your dreams and just
even have any kind of sense of self. It's a
totally different language.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
So what was your language?

Speaker 1 (02:55):
What did you my language? Was you? Well? For stand up?
I would say that is an ongoing process. I mean
it was like, what did you think you were a
stand up? Ongoing process? Ongoing process means some might say
it's when you got your first paid gig, or someone
might say so when somebody you really respected, you know,
kind of gave you a compliment, or when you were

(03:17):
on a particular show of stature that made you feel like, oh,
I'm in the real game. And I've certainly had all
of those feelings. But I think the truth is is
that you are continuously answering that question in different ways,
and you should be like, I don't think it should
be anxiety. Written shouldn't be like am I am I not?

(03:38):
There should just be new reasons for you answering that
I am this all the time that feel good because
some of the other things stop working. Like let's say
it's like, oh, I'm a podcast host because such and
such companies paying me one thousand dollars I don't know,
just make up a number to do a thing so
that that's my marker. But then maybe twenty episodes later,

(04:00):
you're like, well, that doesn't do it.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
You gotta evolve.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
Yeah, yeah, So it's it sucks that everything has to
be constantly you working to reduce.

Speaker 2 (04:12):
Well, especially like if you're in the world of creatives,
which you are I am, And it's like, it's wonderful
because it's always evolving, so you know, and we get
to be the ones to evolve it. But it's also
it's like it's it's such a different life than people
who work like a nine to five and they clock in.
It's like because it's freedom, but it's also so unstable
at the same time because you really don't ever know

(04:34):
what's happening, when something's going to totally fall apart, when
something's gonna totally fall together. I love what you have
done with your journey though, because A I just want
you to know. Being a stand up comedian to me
would be like the worst hunt liked. Be like if
someone said you have to do this for the rest
of your life because you have been a terrible person.
It would be be a stand up comedian because to me, y'all, yes,

(04:58):
y'all are the ballsiest people on the planet to stand
up there, like you have just the you have to be.
You have to be. I feel like born this way
or something, because like to stand up in front of people,
share my soul, make it funny and then have people laugh, like,
oh my god, that is so much pressure. Oh firah,

(05:19):
Like it is a lot of pressure. Pressure. What if
they don't laugh? What if they make fun of your vulnerability?
Like what if it's just awful?

Speaker 1 (05:27):
Yeah? Yes, correct, all of those things. Well, you don't
combust into flames. So as soon as you get over that,
you're like, oh, it just sucks, you know, and everyone's
gonna fail. That's the other thing. There's just no way
not to have a bad show. Even people who are

(05:48):
at the top of their game have a bad show
or an off night or they didn't hook into the audience.
Just oh yeah, you know live life is crazy, like
live is spontaneous. Just I think as you go on,
the percentage of like real catastrophes get smaller based on
your own performance because you just know it a little
bit more. You can mask it or do all kinds

(06:10):
of things. But yeah, it is a still high failure rate.
And I it's so funny you said that about like
what if people make fun of your vulnerability? Yes, ah,
that is so good. So I see. I think there story.
I love storytelling, which is kind of a different genre
where you're doing more of a narrative story about your life.
It can be funny, you can also be pointing and sad.

(06:32):
And I feel like that's that is a place where
you it's designed for you to show off your vulnerability
instead of isn't necessarily designed for people on stage to
show off their vulnerability because you have to maintain authority.
And I got to tell you, as a woman, it

(06:52):
has been a long journey of standing on that stage
and saying to an audience of different all different people,
all different ages, saying I am in control.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
Oh yeah, to walk on that stage and be like,
I'm here, not just here. You bought money to be here,
and I tell you not, you bought money, you paid money.
I am going to rule this room and you are
going to get in seek with me, and I am
in charge of this whole room. That is like, that's

(07:27):
a big bill.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
So yeah, it does not come naturally to me. Honestly,
that part of it, it does not come naturally to me.
I have to get myself there. How do you do?

Speaker 2 (07:37):
How's your prep?

Speaker 1 (07:39):
I mean there is there is. I won't curse, obviously,
but there is a Judy Garland myth. But I think
it has been fact checked that supposedly, before she would
go on stage, she would grasp either side of the
velvet curtain and she would say out loud like f

(08:00):
f F and then just throw it open and go
on stage.

Speaker 2 (08:04):
Oh I love that, just gearing up that energy force field.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
But it is a little bit like you know sometimes
I do. All the people in my life will still
love me after this, It doesn't matter I do.

Speaker 2 (08:17):
Is it scary for the people in your life to
be in your life? Because a comedian's material is their life.
Is anyone no one safe in your world? Oh?

Speaker 1 (08:25):
I don't know about that. I think I think people
think that, but you know, it's it's just that standard
thing where someone will be like, oh, you can use
that in your act, and you're like, but how would
I use your life as a physiotherapist in my Like,
there's a lot of jumps I would have to do
to make sense of that. Yes, right, And I think
people like I am so autobiographical that No, it's not

(08:50):
that nobody is safe, but it's true. Incidences in my
life will definitely make it on stage. And you know,
when I was dating more now I'm married, I would
talk a lot about relationships that was very important to
me and what I liked talking about. And I some
some of the people I did, said, am I going
to end up in your act? And I would say,

(09:11):
if it's funny, you know, like so far, Yeah, that
made it in So that's your game? Really?

Speaker 2 (09:21):
I mean, come on, shop Chop, which, by the way,
I think one of the funniest titles I've ever heard
is the name of your book, which is your memory
Screw Everyone Sleeping My Way to Monogamy. That's hilarious and
is that based on truth? Like, how did that title
come about?

Speaker 1 (09:40):
I mean it was that was a long process. I
remember at the you know, i'd finished the book, and
it's a much more sort of provocative, salacious title than
I beat. I did have a lot of relationships and
some were very casual and some had more time behind them.
So there was a large variety. But uh I I
you know, people people have read the book said, oh,

(10:01):
you know, what's your number? And this is not about
a number thing. This is about a quot I'd like
to say that I was like a scientist going out
into the field.

Speaker 3 (10:11):
You got to get data, that's right, getting the data
affair what I liked, what I didn't like, what worked
for me, and in a way that you know at
the time, again, I think the conversations changed in a
positive way, but for a woman doing that, Like guys
were allowed to play the field, guys were allowed to
check out what was out there, but women were not
allowed to do that or they would be seen in
a very unpopular light.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
Yeah, and so but I rejected that, and I was like, no,
I also just liked relationships.

Speaker 2 (10:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (10:40):
So that I finished the book and then readed a title,
and I think titles are important, very very important. And
I think it took a couple months, and I have
documents of just pages and pages of this title, that title,
and different variations, all kinds of things. And then I

(11:01):
was talking to someone on the phone and I said,
I was so frustrated by come by just coming up
with the title, and I wanted to be done with
this project. And I said, I just wanted to say
to the agent and everyone that's like find the perfect title,
like to go screw themselves. And she was like, well,
well didn't you do that? And I was like, huh,

(11:23):
maybe there's something in that. Yeah. So it just always
it always goes back to all the perspiration that you
need to put in. This stuff is real, and then
something just out of the blue comes and hits you
and it's so simple and it's so perfect.

Speaker 2 (11:37):
Well, and that's always the answer. Like every time I'm
trying to figure something out and I get so complicated,
so confusing, I get so lost in it, that's never it.
It's because it's always clear. It's always clear, right, It's
always just like, oh, yeah, that's it.

Speaker 1 (11:51):
Yeah, And I too, you know, especially in the creative process.
I sometimes get so frustrated with the amount of anguish
and struggle I put towards trying to figure something out
or you know, how does this joke work? Or how
does this piece work? Or why can't I figure this out?
And then it finally comes and I just never trust

(12:12):
in that process. I'm still learning to trust the process
about like it's okay. I know this feels frustrating, and
I know it's going to take time, and it feels
like it's taking too long. Like I think we're all
impatient for this like brilliance to happen quickly.

Speaker 2 (12:25):
Do you think the anguish helps the brilliance come though?
Do you have to have the anguish to get those
wheels turning?

Speaker 1 (12:31):
I would love to say no, But so far I
have seen in myself that I really, you know, I'm like,
I'm like kneeding needing very tough bread, trying to get
it soft, or you know, massaging a rock or something
like that, and then sooner or later it breaks. But

(12:55):
and and in that process, and I have, you know,
I'm working on the idea of like what if I
enjoyed massaging the rock bar? Which what if I trusted
and massaging the rock boar and you know that's so
I'm playing with that. But you know, sometimes sometimes to
it's just the torture, and then you get to it,
get to something, and then it is this elation of like,

(13:18):
oh I love this, I love doing this, I love
feeling this way. When I get to this point and
I'm now I'm tinkering and I'm thinking about words and
I'm thinking, yeah, that's when that's when I'm like, oh, yeah,
this is why I do this. Yeah, I mean going
to a gym, right, Sometimes when you go to the

(13:38):
gym to work out, it doesn't feel good. It feels
like sort of hard. You're like, why is this such
a hard day at the gym? Why? And that's just
part of it.

Speaker 2 (13:49):
And then all of a sudden you got six pack
of ads.

Speaker 1 (13:51):
You're like, and then okay, yeah, where I go one
day it's super easy because all the work is built
up and you're like, oh yeah, because I had to
I had to jump on the spot for like forty
different days to get to this one.

Speaker 2 (14:04):
And that's the thing. That's what I'm loving about your journey.
And I love interviewing creatives like yourself, because here you
are you have this big national spotlight. We were just
talking about you, weren't James Corbin, Like he's the carpool
karaoke guy, you know what I mean. Like you're on
massive talk shows, you're hanging out with the top comedians.
But it's not like it's easy to be there. And

(14:27):
the bigger over arching message is what I'm starting to
realize with people who get to an elevated statis life
yourself is you really have to have a bigger message
at the root of it all. You know, Like though
you are hysterical and you are funny and you make
people laugh, you are speaking a message and I love that,

(14:49):
like you're doing it through comedy. But like, oh, it's
taken all these years to get to this place that
you are, but like you've had something to say, or
else you wouldn't have stuck with all this and hung
in there and gone through the agony of putting yourself
in front of people who are sitting there with their
arms crossed the beginning, probably wanting you to fail, like
prove to me that you're fucking you know.

Speaker 1 (15:11):
Yeah, And also you know, I think too when I
even just even even like fifteen years ago, being on
stage as a woman, you would get up there, there
wouldn't be a lot of other women on the show.
I mean, we still can do a great amount of
improvement with that, but there wouldn't be a lot of
other women on the show. And you would look at
the audience and they would look at you like they
felt a little left down.

Speaker 2 (15:32):
Oh like a little woman coming up here. She's not funny,
that's right. So what do you do in that situation?

Speaker 1 (15:39):
I mean, you you just gotta you just gotta go
for it and like win them over. But you are
starting in a hole. Yeah, literally, you're starting in a hole.
So that and often, you know, you would be first
on the show. There was a lot of barriers.

Speaker 2 (15:55):
That's a lot of things stacked against.

Speaker 1 (15:57):
You, a lot of things stacked against you. And I
feel like it's sometimes you I would just say, don't
notice it, just pretend not to notice it, and they're
you know, we were just talking about pre show rituals.

Speaker 2 (16:11):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (16:11):
But I often think now about heading on to that
stage like you've already won, Like that that works the
best if you can get yourself in that mindset about
this is because when people go to see comedy at
a comedy club. They don't research it, right, They go,
We're going to go see comedy, like they might be

(16:32):
coming to see you if they did some online research.
But just you know, like the comedy seller in New York.
It's all going to be good, trust me. But people
coming there there to see comedy. But if you were
to go see music, you would go where you want
to see jazz, we want to see pop, we want
to see folks, we want to see acoustic. You would.
And then if you or if you said where let's
go see a music show and you got there and

(16:52):
it was jazz, and you're like, what.

Speaker 2 (16:54):
Yeah, there's a lot there's a lot of categories of
music where people just lump comedy into one. But he
had a ton of categories of comedy like honestly and
comedians not get canceled. And the day of cancel culture,
we went and saw who was it? Ce Lewis, Jerry C. Lewis,
Is that a.

Speaker 1 (17:14):
Guy Jerley Lewis? Yeah, yeah, yeah, Jerryley Loutis okay?

Speaker 2 (17:17):
And I was sitting there. I had no like you said,
I had no idea. I don't really I don't know
a ton of comedians other than my friend Josh Wolf's
who I know, but like I love Josh, Like I
actually I can laugh at his jokes and not feel
bad about it. But like Jerry See Lewis came on
stage and I was like, how are people laughing at that?
Like how? But I mean he had a bigger miss

(17:37):
subjective his message when I actually I went home and
I thought about what he said, and I was like, Okay,
he's actually making some really good points for us to
think about, but I just could not laugh at the
way they were presented because they're so it was so
like vulgar in your face, like this these things. But
I'm like, okay, he's like calling us out the thing deeper,
which is great, But I'm like, how did comedians not

(17:59):
just get handled all the times? You just get a
free passcase you're a comedian?

Speaker 1 (18:02):
Because like ongoing discussion, ongoing discussion with cancel culture. I mean,
I think there is there is a lot of stuff
that just happens in comedy clubs and the like that
I go like anything to that to me when it's
just very obvious hate towards another group of people, I
just think should not be tolerated, nor should it be

(18:24):
paid off. I do think, you know, if my friend
Judy Gold really says it best, and she's written a
whole book called like Yes, I can say that, and
it's her basic premise is when culture starts attacking the comedians,
now we're in trouble, like this is maybe not where

(18:46):
the focus should be and there because it's it's not
supposed to be news. It's there's still people with a
lot of power, and I think if you have the
power of the microphone, you got to take it seriously.
So there's a lot of stuff that I see out
there that I don't love. I don't see a lot
in New York honestly that I'm like, this is intolerable.

(19:07):
I just see a lot that I'm like, yeah, I
think that's, you know, poking. I think we're beyond That's
what I go. I thought we were beyond this conversation.
That's what I think. I thought we were beyond this conversation. Yeah,
because I thought we were beyond it. Honestly, I did
think we were beyond it.

Speaker 2 (19:24):
But we're not. We're not, definitely not. But that's why
I just have so much admiration for comedians because y'all
are tackling the hardest conversations, and you're going all in
on them, and you're putting yourself out there, and because
it's like you're a philosopher in your own way, because
you're saying, here's some topics that are happening that we
need to talk about. We're gonna make them funny because

(19:45):
this is this is let's make it funny so we
can laugh and get people's actual attention. But really there's
real messages that are being transmitted. Is yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:54):
And to make the hard things accessible. I think there's
that too, to make it accessible so people are like, oh,
I I gloss over that because I don't understand it
or it's too hard or I don't want to. But
now with the humor, it becomes something accessible.

Speaker 2 (20:10):
So what is your mission as a comedian, because really
you are someone who is informing us about life. And
I love your take on motherhood. You had cancer, you
did not think you were going to be able to
have a child, you ended up miscarring, which then led
you back to the cancer scare. I mean, you mean
you've shared all of this and I'm someone who's had

(20:31):
like three miscarriages. I've never had cancer or anything but
like I understand that walk of mother like the pre
motherhood walk. You know it all loss, the loss and
all that, but you tackle it head on and you
share your story and you really open up a conversation
about what a lot of women go through, and you

(20:53):
make it funny and you also make it understandable. And
so it's just like you are such a teacher for us.
So how do you know what you want to teach?
Do you just let your life lead you? Did you
always know that you wanted to be sharing information with people?
Did you know what kind of information or what message
you were trying to get out there?

Speaker 1 (21:13):
I didn't. I didn't know. I will you know. And
I have a story about this on the Moth and
I do talk about it in certain ways. But I
also suffered a very tragic car accident when I was
a kid, and I think that story of dealing with
that and understanding it, coming to terms with it. I
have big scars on my body from the surgery when

(21:35):
I was a child from that. So it was also
a big part of you know, like I said, I
wanted to be in relationships that I was very interested
in having sex with guys, and then there were these
big scars of my body that are not visible if
you just like met me at a bar. Let's say. So,
there was a lot of stuff that I was coming
to terms with, and I think that was a lot

(21:56):
of why I was like, there's a story to tell.
There's something I need to get out there, but how
do I do it?

Speaker 2 (22:02):
And you wanted to tell your story instead of having
people just judge you for it.

Speaker 1 (22:06):
Well, there is the control of your own narrative exactly. Yeah,
that's a huge thing. And as time has passed and
I have a lot more perspective on my life and
I've done a lot of work on myself. You know.
Now I feel very important about talking about the things
that people don't want to talk about because they need

(22:26):
it so badly. Any time I am and it's hard,
I don't always love doing it, and I create these
pieces and I like go, oh, this is really what
I want to say and put out there, and then
I do, and it's it can be very hard to
perform it or tell it. And then but people come
up to you afterwards and they say these things to
you like they were really listening. Where they took this

(22:47):
thing that they were like, no one ever says this,
and I felt seen and heard, you know, like that's
what it's all about. I want to feel seen and heard.
I think people in the audience want to see themselves
reflected in some way, and that it's the conversation that
makes me feel like, well, it's really the reason I
do any of this. It's like when the it turns

(23:07):
into a dialogue with your audience. Yeah. So even with
just talking like just jokes about being a mom, I
feel like that stuff often gets categorized as like oh mom,
humor parents, like almost kind of like swept away, like
it is not as cool, And I am very much
like why is when guys talk about certain parts of

(23:30):
their life and their own sexual experiences, is that seen
as universal? But when I get up on stage and
talk about being a mom, it is niche why why?
And I don't want And I think it's I think
that's just doesn't make any sense at all. So I
am I feel very strongly about like I'm going to

(23:51):
when you over with this mothering and parenting material, I'm
gonna win you over with my own experiences of my
own body because I know there's people that need this
and guess what this is universal because of the human experience.

Speaker 2 (24:06):
Amen to that. So you kind of started off in comedy.
You had a traumatic accident that led you to feel
something about your own body that probably made you feel
I don't know what was what, just like insecure or
just like you needed to understand it. And so then
you wanted to be seen and heard, but you wanted
to do it your own way. So it started for
you to be seen and heard. But now it's turning

(24:29):
to letting everyone be seen and heard through this universal experience.

Speaker 1 (24:34):
Yeah, as time has gone on and I've now you
know also, I was just so afraid of doing it forever.
I was just so afraid because of all the things
you said. It's vulnerable to failure rate, how are people
looking at you? It's just purely hard. And so once
you get a little bit better, once you get over that,
then I would just hide behind material that was a
little bit easier. But everyone does it in the beginning.

(24:55):
Everyone in the beginning just talks about, you know, very
simple things because it's it's just easier and it's kind
of how your brain works. But as time progressed, I
started going towards the harder things stuff for that was
more personal and trying it the stories that were living
inside of me, my whole life that I wanted to tell,
and that's you know, there is nothing more powerful than

(25:19):
the truth, a mint and that, and so that's when
I just felt like people were leaning in as soon
as I was like, you know, there's no character up here,
there's no artifiich. Of course there's craft, and there might
even be some hyperbole for comedic effect, but it's the truth.

(25:41):
And then it's so much easier on the part of
point of view from the performer me because you don't
have to worry about being something you aren't. We're saying
things that you aren't and you don't believe it. It's like
it all starts to mesh together. Yes, I mean I
would love to do a character. I think that would
be very fun to go out there and just hide. Yes, right,

(26:03):
but that's just not who I am. That's just not
my path.

Speaker 2 (26:06):
Did you always know you were funny or humor something
you've developed.

Speaker 1 (26:12):
I'm the youngest of six whoa a little bit of
that classic story where are you and your are you?

Speaker 2 (26:18):
I'm the youngest of two. Okay, I'm an older sister.

Speaker 1 (26:22):
And did you guys tell jokes.

Speaker 2 (26:24):
Oh, we were not a funny household. No no, no, no, no, no.
Not a lot of a great household, not a lot
of laughing going on. We had more of the quiet,
quiet and we were it was more a traditional household.
Not no no joking, no joking.

Speaker 1 (26:41):
No, I'm the youngest of six. There was you know,
I mentioned the car accident of this conversation, but there
was many hard things that happened in the family along
the way, and you know, classic they say comedy is
a survival mechanism and a tactic, and so they're There
was not a lot of talking about how we felt

(27:03):
at home. There wasn't a lot of processing. Matter of fact,
it was very much like we don't talk about it
at all. But there was a lot of joking around, okay,
And I think that was a little bit of the
language of love in the house. And because I was
the youngest, I didn't get a lot of airtime.

Speaker 2 (27:22):
Yeah okay, okay, yeah, you gotta get in there, got to.

Speaker 1 (27:25):
Get in there. So I mostly was surrounded by it.
And then I do remember I think it was around
the eighth grade, maybe it was the sixth grade that
there was some photocopied jokes like just random you know,
what we call street jokes, like jokes that people tell
each other that someone had passed around. And I brought
it home and I read it at a family dinner

(27:46):
and people laughed, and it felt it felt like I
had I had the I had the space for the
first time.

Speaker 2 (27:56):
People were like this, like, yeah, just seeing Whereas before
you were trying to get a word in edgeways, and
now people were like, good way to hear what you
had to say next.

Speaker 1 (28:04):
Yeah, And I was in, you know, I was in
with the and so yeah, it clearly stuck with me.
I did not. I did not pursue stand up for
a long long time. I went to college and got
my illustrious cultural anthropology degree.

Speaker 2 (28:20):
Oh go girl, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (28:22):
And I assumed I would become an academic of sorts.
I wasn't really sure. But then then I took a deep,
dark turn into the world of stand ups. And even
when I started, yeah, even when I started, I sabotaged
myself for a couple of years because I was so scared.

Speaker 2 (28:39):
When did the dark turn happen? When did you say, Okay,
I'm out on anthropology, I'm in on stand up, I'm
going hard.

Speaker 1 (28:45):
Going hard. I would say it was about five years
out of college, so I I was just doing different jobs,
kind of wandering around doing open mics. I befriended other
stand ups that were starting. There was a very specific
process at the time of like when you call in
to try to get on you called in, that's that's

(29:06):
like you didn't even text her or email your aveils.
But that's what you do with the club. You send
them your a veils and you hope they book you
once they've invited you to do that. And I would
get it wrong. I would do it on the wrong date,
like just all these kind of classic sabotage because I
knew it would be hard. Yeah. Yeah, I was a

(29:27):
little bit afraid of what that commitment would mean for
my life.

Speaker 2 (29:32):
Just practically, what has it meant? Because you stuck with
it and here you are now, like literally at the
top of your so much work, so much work, what
is it like?

Speaker 1 (29:42):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (29:42):
What has what has the journey looked like? And I'm
sure the lessons that you have gathered about human beings
along the way have just been like you could never
learn that unless you lived it.

Speaker 1 (29:55):
Yeah, I mean, audiences are an organism to themselves and
you can have and then obviously you know, I don't
know if this is obvious, but comedy audiences are drinking,
so you just also see those effects in whatever way
it comes. And you know, people people you it's nice
when someone has a glass of wine, you know, before

(30:15):
you get on stage, just in the sense that I mean,
if you're sober, that's great too, But I'm just in
the sense that there is a sort of uh, they
just there's a relaxing there's a little bit of a
lack of inhibitions that makes people just feel like they
can let loose and laugh. Yeah. A few in is
when they can't hear you anymore.

Speaker 2 (30:35):
Right, right, there's a sweet spot. What does my husband?
My husband says the martini. Uh, one's not enough. It's
like titties, one's not enough, and threes too many, exactly.

Speaker 1 (30:45):
I think like Dorothy Parker sounds like he sounds like
a yeah, yeah, yes, So I mean I also I
started too before there was an idea that you could
just throw yourself out there on Instagram or TikTok or
even and just Twitter. So it was it was a
very imperson experience, you know, there was television. Obviously I'm

(31:08):
not that old, but no, there was a lot of
comedy on television. But when I started it, like really
take it seriously, in two thousand, people did not like comedy.
Like I had friends that would literally say, would you
come to my comedy show? And I was new and
they would say, I don't like comedy, just all of it,

(31:30):
all of it. Yeah, because I think like there was
the eighties comedy, and then the nineties comedy was a
little bit of a it wasn't It wasn't like popular
like the eighties was, and then two thousand, no one
really knew what it was. But at what came out
of that was some amazing people and some amazing stuff
and different ways of thinking. And then I think podcasts, honestly,

(31:54):
I think podcasts really made comedy popular again, okay.

Speaker 2 (31:58):
Because everyone really could get their own perspective out there
and anyone can kind of what they're looking for exactly.

Speaker 1 (32:05):
I really think it was like a huge, huge help.
So I but I reinvented myself so many times because
I started in Canada and then I moved to New York.
So I wanted to live in New York and make
it in New York, not knowing that when you moved
to New York, I mean, for me, I didn't start
at zero. I started at like negative ten, and so

(32:26):
any of the credits I had in Canada were meaningless.
Nobody knew who I was. It was just back to
the bottom, very humbling, very very humbling. And people here
were good, like really good.

Speaker 2 (32:38):
So it sure it's the cream of the crop in
New York.

Speaker 1 (32:41):
Yeah, so good, so sharp, so good. And there's a
lot of people and a lot of them and not
enough spaces for everybody, right, So it's just like carving
your way in New York because it can be such
a transient place, really, like people can zoom in here
for a while and then zoom out for different reasons.
It is a place built on relationships, so it would

(33:04):
be like you would zoom in and people would be like,
do do I need to know you? How long are
you going to be around?

Speaker 2 (33:08):
Right? Right? Assessing? Are you really going to be relevant?
Do I need to invest in you? I don't know, Zach,
Can I give you a courtesy five minutes? But then
I'm out?

Speaker 1 (33:16):
Yeah yeah, And then it was a lot of like
you know again, only one woman would be booked per show,
so like what that would feel like? And then there
was just the ongoing conversation of our women, funny do
we have to have a woman on the show? Getting
up front of audiences and then being like, oh god,
we got the woman and then you know it just

(33:38):
and having to go and figure that out. And like
I said, it has gotten better over time. It still
could be so much better, but it has gotten like
exponentially better. And I do think now when there is
only one woman on a sort of classic stand up show,
I think there's people in the audience that are like,
why aren't there more women in the same way that

(33:58):
they could be like, where are the more people of color?
Why an't there more people who identify, you know, with
different sexual orientations. I think the best shows now aren't
nine white guys with hoodies on right. It's the most
diverse audience and the most diverse cast on stage. That's promising, yeah,

(34:21):
I think, And there's a few shows that do that.
So yeah, we're and that's like building. I think still
we're very niche, like it will just be like, oh,
I want to see you know, I want to see
a guy talk about cats, and you can kind of
find that so, But I actually think that in the
real performance world, the best shows are the most diverse,

(34:44):
the most different perspective that makes like this incredible show.
So those are the ones that I like to be
part of.

Speaker 2 (34:52):
So you've really pulled the veil off of what's behind
the scenes when it comes to entertainment. Like, you have
been there, You've been on the big stages. You've been
with all the biggest people in your field. You've been
on TV hit TV shows, you have, you have everything
you do is a hit. You have a book, you often.
You have a new podcast called Parenting is a Joke,

(35:13):
which I love that you're tackling parenting on the podcast,
Like you said earlier that you're going all in on
mothering and parenting. I love that. But what have you
realized if you are going to explain it, what have
you realized it all is about? Because and I feel
like now in this like TikTok generation where everyone is,

(35:36):
you know, has a very easy way to express themselves,
like it's getting fame and like celebrity is kind of
dying off, you know, right, you know, it's not like
there's just these people who've made it and they're the
ones we look to you at. It's kind of like
you can become hugely influential just on TikTok now or something.

(35:57):
You know, It's like you don't even have to have
this status anymore that like you used to, like when
I moved to Nashville, like everyone wanted to get a
record deal to make it in a music industry so
they could become a star. And it's like, yes, that's
still that pathway still exists, but that's now just one
of the many pathways. And there's so many people of
influence now, So what have you what is your take

(36:21):
on influence? What is what is going on with influence?
Everyone is wanting to influence. Do you think it's just
now everyone has something to say and but now there's
places to say it, because like I've always felt like
I had something to say too. That's why I've been
drawn to the entertainment industry. Saying to you, but it's
like what is this now? Like are we how do
we get messages anymore? How do we understand? Like how

(36:41):
do you sift through all this and being on seeing
the full spectrum of what fame is, what success is,
what this is that even what the goal is anymore,
because I feel like it used to kind of be
the goal to like get successful, but now since success
is measured so differently, like what is the goal with
all of this expression?

Speaker 1 (37:00):
Yeah? I do, Right, We're at a really interesting little
time that and I do think it will change very
quickly because you're right, the amount that just the pure
amount is extraordinary. And how do you other than these?
I mean, I was to talk about last night, we
were talking about TikTok and talking about how well getting

(37:23):
the algorithm to work for you? Right, So that's what
that's the magical algorithm is just curating our taste. So
we are getting fed what we want in theory, so
that's like a channel. So that's like kind of niche.
So then that's one way to filter it. And then
everybody is out there doing their thing, trying to achieve

(37:45):
fame and what is that?

Speaker 2 (37:46):
And you know, I just want to use it with
the veil being lifted, Like you're someone who is the
veil has been lifted from fame. You know what it is.
You've been up close in person with it, you have
a relationship with fame. What is it? Like? What is
this thing?

Speaker 1 (38:01):
Yeah? I think, you know, I think for many people,
I mean I don't know that extreme fame like a
Kevin Hart fame, But for many people it is just validation, right.
I mean, I think there's some people that really like
crave fanship, and that's a different thing like having, but

(38:23):
the validation of what you are doing is so important
that it is like loved by an extraordinary number of people.
Of course, as we know that that can be also
just so detrimental and it ruins people's lives. And I
have I am no, I'm no stranger to feeling like,

(38:44):
oh my goodness, this is too hard, this is too much.
Am I any good at this at all? I mean
I've had projects fail, I've had projects canceled, and then
you have to start all over again and reinvent yourself
and figure it out all over again. You wonder, do
I have anything that's worthwhile to anyone? Because how this
works is I put it out there and people need

(39:07):
to consume it in order for me to do it,
or else I'm just journling, right or something. Yeah, and
so there has to be this thing. And I always
come back to what you were just saying, which is
I just go why do this at all?

Speaker 2 (39:24):
Why?

Speaker 1 (39:27):
And I think to myself, do you still have something
you need to say? Is there something still inside of
you that you feel like you need to say? Because
when you stop feeling like you have anything you need
to say, that's when you stop. But until then, you
gotta do it and just decide what medium it fits

(39:49):
in best. Is what you need to say right now?
Is that A theatrical piece is what you need to
see right now? A stand up show is what you
need to see right now? A podcast or is it
a series of short videos? But you because I think
the stuff that I like the in the digital world
on the Instagram, I'm always like, this person kind of
loves doing this. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff that
you're just like, oh, someone's just trying to be famous.

(40:11):
But when you see the people that I'm like, I
think they love doing these videos. I think they get
up in the morning and they have an idea and
they're excited and they're excited about it, and that's why
that medium is working for them.

Speaker 2 (40:23):
Agreed. You have to love it. It translates.

Speaker 1 (40:26):
I have to love it. It totally translates, and maybe
you can pull it off. You know, you can not
love it, and you can pull it off. But to me,
it's just so easy to see the difference.

Speaker 2 (40:39):
What are you loving talking about right now?

Speaker 1 (40:42):
I think I am loving. So there's a couple of
things that I'm loving talking about, which is a lot,
you know. I know you talk about a lot of
this on this show. But the idea is failure rate
and success rate of the positive affirmations in the world.
I feel like, never before has there been this kind

(41:05):
of conversation about positive affirmations. I think the past, this
idea of like like looking yourself at the mirror and
being like, you're great and people love you. You know, this
kind of self esteem was a thing and also maybe
ridiculed a little bit, see it as ridiculous. And now
we talk a lot about manifesting and a lot about

(41:28):
you know, really always considering your self worth. And I
find it very interesting, and I talk about with friends,
I talk about on stage all kinds of different ways,
because part of me goes, wow, this is so symbolic
of the place we are in the world, and part
of me goes, let's make sure that nobody's convincing us
that we have to do all the work. Maybe society

(41:49):
has to do a little bit of this work. Okay,
I want, I want to put a little bit on society.
I don't know if I every day have to. I
always am working on my self worth, and I'm always
like thinking about where I want to go next. And
I love goal making and I'm a to do list
not and they are aspirational, but I'm also sort of like, yeah,
maybe there should be some systems in place. Yeah, so

(42:12):
not everyone has to feel like they are independently in
charge of it.

Speaker 2 (42:17):
Okay, how what could those systems be?

Speaker 1 (42:19):
Good question? I mean then I think much more like
on a social justice level, which there could be. There
just could be more ways for people to feel supported
by the economy by being paid fair wages. I think
about the medical field a lot as someone who is
basically a product of science, because I've been put together

(42:42):
so many times. Just think about affordable healthcare? How you know?
I do know of so many artists who have to
retain some sort of corporate job because of healthcare. Yeah,
and how what would their life look like to flourish
right right right if that wasn't a thing. I don't
have easy answer to these hugely systemic problems, but sometimes

(43:07):
I worry that we put too much on ourself. Yeah, agree,
and so yeah, yeah, so, and I think there's also
a conversation about asking for help. And I think I'm
someone that's really bad at that, really bad at that,
because I go in that thing where I'm like, I'm
just going to do everything myself. I've done everything myself
my entire life, so I'm going to do everything myself.

(43:29):
But then when I look around, I go, you know,
who's asking for help? Help? The guys are asking for help.
I think, like, these people are asking for help, and
I think sometimes you you, that's like could be a
whole open door. I like helping people. When someone asked
me for help, my first thought is neverugh right, I'm

(43:49):
always like, huh interesting, Sure, let's see what we can do.
Totally yeah, yeah, So there's a lot of anyways. There's
the I answered question with like a global answer.

Speaker 2 (44:01):
My apologies, Hey ms CO and Genie, I'm going to
vote you for Miss America. You would have crushed that
answer on stage.

Speaker 1 (44:10):
Literally. Oh yeah. The pageant. The pageant, I have a huge,
huge scar in my stomach. If I could come out
in a bikini with a huge scar in my stomach
and crush a pageant. Let me tell you that would
be a new world.

Speaker 2 (44:20):
That's awesome, you know what. I feel like we could
be getting close to a world like that.

Speaker 1 (44:26):
We could be getting close to a world like that.
We could because I so that is the one other
thing I like about where we're going. And I don't
know the greatest way to say this, but it's like,
it's okay not to be okay. I like that. And
I find this in comedy a lot that the idea
of whatever mainstream idea of what you know normal is

(44:49):
or being okay has been shattered.

Speaker 2 (44:52):
Yeah, there is no normal. What is normal? What? Nothing?

Speaker 1 (44:55):
Nothing is normal nothing, And so there's room, there's so
much room for people to empowered by just who they
are and what they've experienced and that they you know,
there's no shame around that. And yeah and even I
experienced that all. I am still working through that. But yeah,

(45:15):
that's where the courage comes. That where you can access that,
then you throw it out there for everybody else in
a way like I do stand up. So I'm not
or entertaining, So I'm not throwing it out in like
a therapy way or a or a self help way.
I do it through this way, and then you find
that people are like, oh yeah, that's that is also

(45:36):
me speaking of courage.

Speaker 2 (45:38):
I love that. How would you describe what is on
the other side of fear when you have that courage,
Like when you step when someone who's hearing this podcast
and thinking to themselves, Man, I want to put myself
out there. I have something to say, but I'm scared shitless.
I don't know how to do it. You know, there's
all the ridical all the things that you've talked about,

(46:00):
all the terrible things will happen when you put yourself
out there most likely, like you're gonna get a taste
of it. You're gonna get a taste of the terrible.
Like it's just not it's inevitable. Especially the more popular
you get, the more success you get, the more people
that are gonna have you, that are going to tear
you down. It is not some like Wizard of Ozz
like snap your feet together and it's like golden roads,

(46:21):
Like I feel like the more energy you have behind you,
the more momentum's going with you, then it's just like
the more people weighing in. So but it is also
an amazing thing because you are being heard, and like
what you said in the beginning, you have to know
your why, like why are you doing this? And if

(46:44):
it's just because you have a hole in your heart
and you need validation, like that can go so far,
but like there ultimately has to be a message that
you're trying to connect with or make people not feel
alone or something. What is on the other side of
fear When you listen to your little voice side of
you that says you have something to say, get up
on that stage and do it. You're gonna be scared shitless.

(47:05):
They're gonna throw tomatoes at you, but you're going to
keep going and then all sudden one day you're going
to be look back and you're you, and you have
a book. You've been on TV shows, you've been on
the hottest talk shows. Like you're crushing the game. But
it's not like it's the cakewalk, But like, why is
it worth it? What is on the other side of
going through all that?

Speaker 1 (47:24):
I think it is unbelievably satisfying and fulfilling, and you
feel like you are tethered to the rest of humanity.
That's what's on the other side. And I even yesterday
was like, oh, I don't even want to do this
show on Friday because it's going to fail. And I
was just like, here, we do. This is the thing,

(47:44):
and we all do it. And it's so natural to
be projecting your failure. I mean, you know, uh, no
one would ever ever do any of this stuff if
they actually listen to their critic. You wouldn't even bother trying.
You wouldn't even bother try. So it's taken me years
to it identify just even that voice you're credit saying,
don't do it because it's going to fail. And if

(48:07):
you if someone your best friend, you know I love
the book Untethered Soul. Yes, And there's a lot of
like thinking of the little voices in your head that
are nattering on as if they were sitting beside you
on the couch, and you would look at that person
and just go, you are spinning out of control. You
don't even know what's going to happen next. Come on,

(48:29):
just throw it out there. And through many years of
thinking about this, sometimes I go to myself, what if
what if Yeah, let's say it's failure, let's say there's
tomatoes thrown.

Speaker 2 (48:44):
What if it's as bad as it can be.

Speaker 1 (48:46):
What if I'm run out of town? So bad? But
what if it's good? Yeah? What if people like it?

Speaker 2 (48:55):
Like?

Speaker 1 (48:55):
What what kind of day? We have no statistics here.
You're gonna you're you're gonna make data tomorrow night. I Opeira,
You're going to figure out what the data on this
is because we have no we have no what data
to work with right now?

Speaker 2 (49:08):
Imagine you're wagine.

Speaker 1 (49:10):
If what if? Yeah, And so I try to do
a lot of that what if And so I honestly think,
let me tell you, if I got on stage and
people were so angry and I was run out of town,
that would be fantastic. Honestly, that would be a huge
success because somehow you hit people so hard to cause
that level of an emotional reaction cately onto something, clearly

(49:32):
onto something. Okay, it's the it's the middle ground that
I think we most the mediocre.

Speaker 2 (49:39):
You don't want to be mediocre.

Speaker 1 (49:40):
You don't want to be mediocre.

Speaker 2 (49:42):
You gotta go big. You gotta make us flash. You've
got to know, you got to go all in for
what you're saying.

Speaker 1 (49:47):
Yeah, or even some part of it, you can sure,
but there may be like you got ten minutes to
talk to some one. Hey, it's okay, maybe seven minutes
of it are going to be, but three minutes of
it you go.

Speaker 3 (49:58):
All in, Oh, hey, you know, give yourself that.

Speaker 2 (50:05):
I love it.

Speaker 1 (50:07):
Yeah, I mean that's very very much. Just so you know, like,
I don't know, as someone who is a singer, what
you're putting together, like how you are going to approach something.
I don't know how you think of that because that's
a whole different art. But I know with like a
stand up show, you know, you're sort of you start
with like you're doing a little bit of throwaway, like

(50:27):
you're just trying to get them on your side, and
then you lead them down a path and then that's
when you want to like get them like by the
and then you you know, you basically want to carry
that to the end. But once you have them, then
you have something to work with.

Speaker 2 (50:43):
Yes, okay, so I love this how to execute an
amazing stand up show? Like, yeah, like how do we
do that? You start off? You start off kind of
it's like if you're what do you like a dating relationship?
You're kind of easy you test in the waters or
do you know the whole thing?

Speaker 1 (50:58):
Yeah, oh yeah, I usually you should come feeling out. Yeah,
I usually come in with a plan. So right, let's
make it a dating many four I love this or
just like meeting someone and trying to impress them. So yeah,
you're sessing them out. You're using probably some of your
best material up top, even though it's technically you're throwing
it away because you don't. We're just warming up. We've
just made each other for three seconds. You're not on

(51:20):
my side yet, You're still like, who are you? So
it's a little bit of palate cleansing, but it's stuff
I know that it is tried or true, tried and true.
And then then you you have to listen. That is
really the hardest thing listening because you have to be
very I'll use the word brave, because just the one
that's coming to mind to listen to actually hear what

(51:41):
your audience, the person across from you is saying back
to you. Whether they're going, oh that's interesting, or I'm
not ready for this yet, or I or whatever I'm
in whatever state, you have to hear what they're saying,
and then from there you can make decisions. I can go, oh,
I'm going with my plan they're super smart, they're super
into it, they're super open. I've got a plan for

(52:04):
exactly that person is the collective favorite.

Speaker 2 (52:08):
They are a collective consciousness of the audience. So they
all kind of like go together with one feeling.

Speaker 1 (52:12):
They really do happens. Yeah, I mean it's like crowd.
But I think sociologists have written things about like basically
crowd mentality, and they're talking about it more like when
we think about like marches or protests or large events.
But you know, it happens in any crowd, any theater,
any comedy club, and sometimes I think, you know, we
could have road scholars peppered throughout this crowd. But collectively

(52:38):
they might be kind of like a dummish oafish crowd,
or collectively they might be like just on fire, or
collectively they might be you know, just kind of seeming
like they really want they want dirty stuff, Like it
is amazing that they feed off of each other. Okay,
this is actually why these houses are designed how they are.

(52:59):
And when he's squished together, it needs to be dark
because that does.

Speaker 2 (53:02):
All the energy needs to be transferable. Yes, okay, okay, okay,
So it's going well to say it's going well, so
you're staying on script. Now the audience is in.

Speaker 1 (53:11):
Yeah, the audience is in. It's good. And so then
if you want to experiment, if you have something new
that you're working on or something that's from exciting, that's
the most exciting and obviously the highest failure rate, right,
So that's once you have them. Once you're like, okay,
now we now they trust me. Now I can experiment

(53:32):
because even if I fail, we will we can probably recover.

Speaker 2 (53:36):
Okay, how do you recover from a failure? So you've
got audience going with you, but then you try something
new and it fails. How do you bounce back from that?
What do you say? Like?

Speaker 1 (53:44):
Oops? Admitting it? Yeah, admitting it is fine, because sometimes
that diffuses if there is any sort of feeling in
the crowd of like, oh my god. You know, sometimes
people go, I can't watch Dan up comics because if
they fail, I feel so bad for them. Some people
say that, so if you and you acknowledge it, it
usually diffuses them and was like, oh good, they know
they acknowledge it so bad?

Speaker 2 (54:06):
How do you is it? Like you say it and
no one laughs, or you say it and it's like,
what does it feel like, and then what do you
how do you move? What's the next move? How do you?

Speaker 1 (54:14):
Yeah, I mean you could brush it off. You could
do like well that was a new one, I mean classic,
or you could say something like well I thought that
was funny earlier, but clearly not for you guys. Or
you can you know, kind of go like I'm just
to give it to the possibility. You could be like,
well that works the other night, but you guys are
clearly you know this kind of audience and then you

(54:36):
want to get you go back to try or true
you're just well a bit to go on the stuff
that I know it works or often you find that
and I like doing this too. You can go into
the audience and you can talk to them, so basically
you're just changing the energy. It's it's almost like a
very you know, typical kind of technique for being on stage.
You got to change the energy, and a good way

(54:56):
to change the energy is you talk to them. So
now you're doing a totally different feeling in the crowd,
and it just it's a racist you know, now we're
in a different tiny storbet and now we're in a
different feeling, and then you can go back.

Speaker 2 (55:10):
Man, you just have to be on your toes and
you have to just energetically be so in tune at
all times. Like where do you feel the energy? It's
like in your stomach? Is it in your body? Like
how do you gauge it?

Speaker 1 (55:21):
I used to, you know, not anymore, but I feel
like it's very much. I'm very expressive in my arms
and my hands, but it's very much in my arms
and my hands which also grasp a microphone. But I
used to come off stage. I'd be fine before the show,
even if I was super nervous, and I would be
fine on stage, and then I would come off the
stage and shake. It was like all of it was

(55:44):
stored in me. So I was like, oh, that's interesting.
So now I find I do take a moment to
like literally place my feet on the stage. It is
the greatest thing to do, and you if you can.
It takes a while to do this. You stand in
front of that microphone and you feel it feels like elons,

(56:05):
but you stand and you do not say a word
for like a second.

Speaker 2 (56:11):
Like when you walk out, the first thing you do
is stand in silence a second.

Speaker 1 (56:15):
It feels like nothing to the audience, it feels like
nine years to you.

Speaker 2 (56:20):
What does that do for you?

Speaker 1 (56:22):
It it tell it's a kind of a entire thing
of like now me because as much as we want
laughter and as much as we want I love it
when it's just this, you know, sort of cacophony of
energy and laughter and every second is filled. But the
truth is that it's the silence that is the most

(56:45):
commanding you have as th time. Have I on every
single notebook I have in my entire writing career, I've
written the words slow down on top of it. Because
if you can allow yourself and I also have to
think about this almost every show, to say the thing

(57:09):
and wait, it will probably be it will often be rewarded.
And when it is rewarded, it will be rewarded more
than if you just like, okay, panic next thing. Okay,
panic next.

Speaker 2 (57:23):
Thing, because there's that moment, never got its moment, you
just moved on, never.

Speaker 1 (57:29):
Got a moment. Yeah, and then the audience smells that
you're not completely in authority. Oh yes, and everyone I
think this is just like my crowd mentality feeling from
being in so many crowds. The crowds really audiences as
a collective want to be told what to do. They

(57:51):
love that, like we all want to relinquish control in
a sense when we're audience, were in the audience, we're like,
we just give this to you. I want ninety minutes
where I don't have to do this. Yes, you you
take it. You tell me what to do. I'm here
for that.

Speaker 2 (58:04):
Yes, yes, yes, I love that. Man, You're so awesome
and baldy. I love it so much. Like literally, you
are just such a pioneer in this world with being
a woman. I love because let's talk about your podcast
parenting as a joke. Oh yeah, you just kind of
watched it, and you're doing Broadway off Broadway.

Speaker 1 (58:24):
You're doing an off Broadway run. I know too much.

Speaker 2 (58:27):
How do you have time for this? And you're my mom?

Speaker 1 (58:29):
I don't. Maybe things are suffering, things are suffering.

Speaker 2 (58:33):
Yeah, that's and you probably talk about that on your podcast.
How as my mom, Like, literally something has to give
so we can never do it all?

Speaker 1 (58:42):
Yes, absolutely, and uh you know they say time as
a container, you know, but it is true. Sometimes you're
just like I have to be you know, I'm gonna
have to be efficient. I have twenty minutes and that
is how long this is gonna take?

Speaker 2 (58:56):
Next?

Speaker 1 (58:57):
Because that's what I have and it's imperfect, and sometimes
I go, all I want to do is have like
five days of where I like lie on a I
don't know Marriott hotel bed and have nothing to do.
That becomes my dream. My dream is just of uh,
I say, Marriott.

Speaker 2 (59:14):
Hotel cat what's the five star here?

Speaker 1 (59:21):
I've got frest sheets and it's a Ritz Carlton. But yeah,
So the podcast is great. And one of the reasons
I wanted to do the podcast is because I know
so many people in the entertainment field, stand up field,
who quite recently became parents, like There's it seemed like
a bit of an explosion and there are. It is

(59:43):
a very un It is an unfavorable match working at night,
performing at night, traveling and touring and having especially a
small child. And so I think so many people didn't
do it or they released weeded out by the lifestyle
because it just didn't match. And also the persona if

(01:00:04):
you think of a stand up comic on stage, you
think of them ass like kind of cool, independent, like
you know, stand up till three am at a diner
after their shows, or you know, it's a very different
vision than a parent, right, who have a little kid
at home that they need to nurture.

Speaker 2 (01:00:20):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:00:20):
And so I just noticed that all these people were
doing it. I was like, how are they doing it?
How are they doing it? Is why? And I figured
some people have figured out something. Some people probably haven't
figured out something. But let's get let's get all of
this together and talking about it and.

Speaker 2 (01:00:35):
Collect the data.

Speaker 1 (01:00:36):
And collect the data, because I'm sure I know that, like,
I'm not the only one with odd hours. I just
happened to do stand up. But there are people of
all kinds of careers that are living not nine to fives,
and they're trying to figure it out. And there's not
a lot that is speaking to you because all of
the parent stuff. When it's like how to create the
perfect morning, they're like, get up a half an hour

(01:00:57):
before your kid. I'm like, okay, so I'm getting home
at one and I'm getting up at five point thirty.

Speaker 2 (01:01:01):
That's not really working.

Speaker 1 (01:01:03):
No, that's not working. And there's nothing out there. There's
nothing out there.

Speaker 2 (01:01:07):
Yeah, so you're talking about we need some alternative. Well,
when you're living off on your own, this wild world
that you can't fall into a perfect schedule and parenting routine.
We need some good advice. What have you found out?
What are some of your findings with some minents you
can share with us.

Speaker 1 (01:01:22):
I mean, I think the one that comes up a
lot is saying no, like, actually, there is no work
life balance. I think we figured that out. That that
is a total myth, that we're throwing that out the window.
Don't even that is also kind of just a mean
thing to say to women, I think, because I don't
think men are often spoken to about work life balance

(01:01:45):
being a father. Yeah, it's just they just assume it's fine. Right,
So but women have to you know, all all falls
in a woman. So balance out the window. But critical choices.
So then we change the conversation. Let's talk about critical choices,
and so you have to look at you could farm

(01:02:06):
it out. There's a lot of talking about the cost
of success. So there was like, all right, do you
have some money to work with? Maybe do I don't have.
I don't spend a lot on this kind of stuff
because it's not really me and it's very expensive. I
live in New York. But from childcare to sending out
your laundry to sending doing the food stuff like you

(01:02:26):
get you can. We live in a world where you
can farm all that stuff out, maybe you farm some
of it, the stuff that's real, the real pain points
in your household. There's that, you know, if you're just
like if I never had laundry, my life would be better.
Like maybe that's worth a few thousand dollars if you haven't, Yeah,
for ocation of mind. So there's that. But then the
critical choice is in the career. So then it is

(01:02:49):
the step back and you go, what is the one
or two things? Can't? That's doing five things and saying
yes to everything. Can do that? Yeah, and it will
kill you. It's not worth it. As a matter of fact,
it was never worth it.

Speaker 2 (01:03:04):
Right, right, But we just had the time and the
hunger and the You think it's worth it when you're younger,
but then you get to a certain point you're like, no,
you can't. The kid makes you really realize what's worth it.

Speaker 1 (01:03:16):
And also there is you know, and I know you've
talked about this, but there is great power in note
because you start reanalyzing what your self worth is and
what your time is worth.

Speaker 2 (01:03:27):
You know.

Speaker 1 (01:03:27):
I think we always talk about like that whole and
it's like, oh, that model or whoever doesn't get up
for under so many millions. Sometimes I'm like, I don't
think my plumber gets up for under like seventy thousand dollars. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:03:40):
Yeah, you have a worth that you have to have
it be the money has to.

Speaker 1 (01:03:44):
Match to match. Yeah. So I actually made a chart,
which is ridiculous, but it was the only way I
could think to do it, where I would put opportunities
through this chart and it was five five categories and
they had to get over fifty percent, so I rated
them out of twenty. So at first, it would be like, Okay,
here's an opportunity, How creative stimulate? How creatively stimulating is

(01:04:08):
this for me? Out of twenty? How much time is
it going to take? Least the time being really the
most valued? So that would get a number? How fun
is it gonna be?

Speaker 2 (01:04:19):
Like?

Speaker 1 (01:04:19):
Is there a high fun rate here that would get
a number? Is this like a prestige? Is this a
career move? Like maybe it's not these things, but it
would be such a good career move I would be
a fool not to consider it. That gets a number,
and then of course, or is it just like it's
going to pay my mortgage for a few months money
that would get and then so five things out of

(01:04:40):
twenty and if it was fifty or above, I'd say, yes, okay.

Speaker 2 (01:04:45):
That a great way to valuate.

Speaker 1 (01:04:48):
Yeah, so if you would not believe how many things
were not fifty or above.

Speaker 2 (01:04:51):
But because you run it through the test, you know,
and then you can walk away with a clear mind
and be like, Okay, I can say no to that,
and I feel confident about it because I ran it
through my filters and I love that.

Speaker 1 (01:05:03):
Even if and I did, sometimes I would still go,
I go forty five, I want to do it. I
sometimes I would still go, oh, I want to do it.
And then at least I would I would least get
there and go, yeah, I'm glad I did this. I
knew what I was getting into, but I'm glad I
did this, or I would go you got to listen
to those numbers. If you okay, numbers don't lie, numbers

(01:05:25):
still lie.

Speaker 2 (01:05:26):
I love it, man, You're amazing. I thank you so
much for coming out here and talking to me. Really sad,
tell us about your off Broadway show, and then I
have one question to wrap up with. But I just
have love chatting with you. You're so wise, and thank
you for sharing your wisdom with us through your gift
of stand up comedy.

Speaker 1 (01:05:41):
You are the best. Thank you. Uh yeah, I have
a for the rest of February. I have a off
Broadway show called Leaving a Mark, a comedy about scars,
because I am covered in scars from different operations and situations.
So it is it is a funny show, but it's
also really quite intense and emotional. And I talk about tragedy.

(01:06:03):
I mean, I think scars, physical scars in your body
I'm talking about right now, are the physical manifestation of
the comedy equation. Tragedy plus time equals comedy a scar.
And so it's about body acceptance and identity, all seeing
through how you see and how others see. Other people
see you in your in your flesh.

Speaker 2 (01:06:25):
Has it felt so liberating and freeing to share all
this and be so vulnerable.

Speaker 1 (01:06:29):
It is, you know, afterwards, when I talk to people,
the first thing they say it it's curious. They go,
that was so intimate, which I find so like they
you know, they say, it's funny and we love this,
but that was so intimate. Keeps coming up as a word.
And I find that very very interesting because I think

(01:06:51):
I think that's the that's the conversations I like having,
like even on stage, stuff that feels really like one
on one uh, And it's not always the case. I
think there's a lot of like you know, fourth Wall,
let's just let's just dance. Let's just dance down the path.
Everybody have a valid form of entertainment too.

Speaker 2 (01:07:11):
But no way, she's gonna hit us hard, and I
love I love you for that. Thank you so much
for hitting the topics hard and letting us feel like
people who maybe didn't have the ability or the capacity
or even know how to tap into those feelings, they
can hear you express them and be like, oh, I
feel like that's what art does. It's be like, okay,
I get it, someone sees me. I don't have to

(01:07:32):
feel alone, you know, I don't have to feel so
like in my own world with this, And thank you
for helping me to express it. You know, I feel
like that's what art is. That's amazing. You're so amazing. Okay,
my last question, leave your light. What do you want
people to know? It's just super open ended.

Speaker 1 (01:07:48):
Yeah, I think just you know, I think we covered it.
But I think if I even though there's a lot
out there, if there is a story inside of you
that you you don't want to tell because you think
that you'll fail at it, I say, do whatever you
can to tell that story in any way you can
find it a way to do it. I think you

(01:08:10):
will feel completely liberated me.

Speaker 2 (01:08:15):
You'll liberate yourself, and then you'll also liberating others.

Speaker 1 (01:08:19):
That's right, that's right. It starts off so we're here
for Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:08:22):
It starts off with the fear of like what are
they going to say about me? But then once you
liberate yourself, then you realize, oh my god, I'm helping others.
It becomes a gift for others.

Speaker 1 (01:08:32):
Yeah, and and you just there's nothing more powerful than
the truth. So if you're just truthful about something that
is real and important to you, the failure rate is
like less than zero.

Speaker 2 (01:08:44):
So all you have to be is truthful.

Speaker 1 (01:08:46):
Yep, I love it.

Speaker 2 (01:08:48):
I love it. Thank you so much. AFEARA You're amazing
is a joke. Everyone check it out and follow you along.
Where can people follow you? Where it's all your information?

Speaker 1 (01:08:57):
Oh yeah, you can follow me at opeira e on
all the socials. You can check out parenting It's a
joke on your iHeart app or wherever you get your podcasts.
And yeah, we can go to my website. Ohf you're
at Eisenberg dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:09:10):
You're awesome. Thank you so much, amazing day.

Speaker 1 (01:09:13):
Yes you too, Byekay.

Speaker 2 (01:09:14):
Bye