This week on GET REAL Podcast...CARLOS WHITTAKER!
Carlos is on a MISSION to SEE people, FREE people, and instill HOPE into the world!
IN THIS EPISODE, we talk:
• His new book, "How To Human"
• SEEING and FREEING people
• His mission of HOPE
• Starting a CHANGE MY MIND journal
• The nine fruits of the SPIRIT
Carlos' new book, "How to Human: Three Ways to Share Life Beyond What Distracts, Divides, and Disconnects Us," is out NOW...grab a copy HERE: How to Human: Three Ways to Share Life Beyond What Distracts, Divides, and Disconnects Us!
Listen to CARLOS WHITTAKER on GET REAL Podcast...NOW!
Stay tuned for our How-To Minisode on Thursday!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Carola, she's a queen and she's getting afraid, so just
let flow. No one can cry. Carol sounds Carou. I'm
so excited to have Carlos Whittaker here with me today.
(00:31):
What is up, Carlos? What's going on? You are single
handedly going to restore humanity with hope and I love that.
I don't know about all that what I can, but
you are. I mean, like it is. I feel like
it is your mission to let people know that, like
hope is not gone like it is. We are hope.
(00:52):
We just need a recalibration, is what you say. We
we we because you know, I think a lot of
people want to reset, like like it's like like like
when your computer slow, it's like, oh what do I
what do I do? Like we gotta you know, completely
reset it, control all deleted, you know, and and it's
like no, like actually, like we're not too far off.
Like people think like this is as bad as it's
ever been, but it actually isn't. Okay, let's break that down.
(01:15):
Tell me why, because I hear that all the time,
and honestly, like I'm not really a dooms there either,
but I'm a total im path and I have a daughter,
his three and a half, and I like, after COVID
and all that, I kind of did hit the subscription
subscribe to Oh my god, what's happening with the world?
Like we all are gonna die? No one can get along?
Like why is there so much suffering that we're just
(01:37):
doing to each other? You know, Like it took me
a minute, And I love that you talk about like
depression and stuff, how you have dealt with it and
you go into depression and then how you get out
of it, because like I went into a little bit
of a depression after my daughter was born, and COVID
hit that, I was like, I don't know about this world,
Like what is going to happen? Are we all? Is? Like?
(01:57):
Is the United States gonna fall apart? Are are you
gonna be? And hey ye My answer to all of
that is, um, well, first of all, for for any
of the doomsday or's like myself and yourself included, that
have been like, oh my gosh, the United States gonna
fall apart, if we just look back at history books,
the answer is yes, at some point every empire has
(02:20):
collapsed and we will be We're in line. Okay, so
so we but Okay, So knowing that's the case, also
we can look at the history books and go, actually,
like there were people who were chopping each other's heads
off only a hundred and fifty years ago with swords
because they disagreed on things, and that's not necessarily happening
(02:43):
these days. So like, as as much as it's this
is probably as bad as we have felt it, it
definitely is not as bad as it's been before, you know,
And so I just try to I try to remind people, like,
I mean, seriously, look look from the dawn of humanity
until now, and you will see a lot worse, a
lot worse. I mean, even even like it's a black
(03:03):
guy like for me in the South, right, like things
aren't still perfect for me, but things are a lot
better than they were even fifty years ago. So therefore,
like I do have some hope that it's a recalibration,
not a reset that has to happen some makes sense,
that doesn't make sense. And I totally hear you on that,
and I feel like, honestly, what happened in was kind
(03:24):
of I mean, it's it is a blessing that everything
can get like exposed and brought to the surface, because
then I feel like as a collective, we're all like whoa, Okay,
we do need to recalibrate, we do need to get
a grip on this and like restore humanity a little bit.
And so tell me you wrote this amazing book how
how to Human? To Human? I mean, let's talk about
(03:48):
how to Human? I mean, let's the what details. Tell
me where the inspiration came from. Because we were talking
a little bit briefly before you came on. You have
been a preacher. You are such an enthusiasts for life
and hope and giving people inspiration and sharing tools like
how to get out of depression, anxiety, how to have hope,
(04:10):
And so I'm guessing all this led to your book,
how to Human. Let's talk about the basic outline of
this book and what do we need to do to human?
And you give us three big points. Yeah yeah, yeah,
yeah three. So so here's the deal. Obviously, the last
three years, have you know, we have collectively as the
(04:31):
human race, gone through uh collective trauma together like all
of us we have net we're all pandemic rookies, which
led to racial unrest, which led to a presidential election
that made us want to hate our own family members,
which led to it just kept going, you know, and
it's like, oh my gosh, and I finally I realized
it was like that the more people I talked to,
(04:53):
the less like, the less I believe what I mean.
I hate even using these two words because they've been
so skewed. But the word the media right be be
it whatever. They want us to really believe that we
hate each other like like they want us. But the
more I talk to people, the morerow with this. They're
so tired of hating each other. Everybody is just tired
of hating each other and is really looking for a way,
(05:15):
um to not necessarily unify over like opinions, but to
come back to some semblance of like doing this human
thing well. And so I just kind of started digging in.
I started researching like what I could, looking looking at
the life of Jesus, you know, And I told people
in the book, you can believe in Jesus is like
a historical figure like Dandhie or Mother Teresa, or you
(05:36):
can believe in Jesus is the Son of God. And
you still he still wins the Human of the Millennium Award.
He's still awes, So no matter how you look at him,
like he would a great guide to just look at
his humanity, not his divinity. So I kind of use
him as our guide. And uh and when I was looking,
I just was like, man, you know what he did
every day He saw people, and he freed people, see humans,
(05:57):
free humans, see humans, free humans, re single day, over
and over. And I was like, what if we just
copied and pasted that into into our lives. I mean,
like if we look at the last few years, like
the reason why people are screaming is because nobody's seeing
them that. I mean, if there's one human felt need
that we all have is to be seen. And so
(06:20):
you know, I I started the book off with b human,
which is like, you know, before we can see anybody,
we gotta see ourselves. So we've got to realize who
we were created to be, find our identity, and really
dig into that, right Like you know, I live here
in the South. I mean we were just talking before
the show, like I'm I'm friends with Kaylee and Russell Dickerson,
and I tell Russell all the time, like, you know,
I didn't really like country music till I met Russell
(06:40):
and and you know he's got now. Man, I listen
to these songs because I'm not from the South, but
I listen to songs about like Dixie cups and sweet
tea and fireflies, and I'm like, bro, like, I have
never been more proud to be in the South than
when I listened to you know, blue ta Comba can't.
I'm like, go get me a blue Tacoma, right and
and and I So I'm telling people like like that
that are from here. It's like, hey, listen. Of course,
(07:02):
there's things that like we're all ashamed of in our history.
There's things that we're all ashamed of. But be fully
who you are if you're from the South. I mean
love your sweet tea and your fireflies and your Dixie
cups and your mass potatoes, Like all of these things
are so awesome. So be that. If you if you've
got an Italian grandma and you've never made homemade pasta,
what are you doing with your life? Like tap into
(07:23):
who you were really created to be and be fully human.
Once you can be that, uh, then it's so much
easier to see other people, right because it's like, oh,
I'm confident in who I am. Now I can see
people that may not look like me, think like me,
vote like me, love like me, all of these other things.
Guess what, you can still see them without um giving
(07:44):
up on your values or whatever it is that you
may believe, you know, whole hardly about something. We can
actually do this, and so seeing people is that next step,
you know, And I think that that's probably the hardest
piece is because we've been we we we can get
siloed in our social media circles. We just want to
all of the voices that I agree, I agree with
our point of views, and so suddenly when we hear
(08:04):
or see somebody from outside of our point of view,
it's so hard to see them. Um. But that's not
the last step. So that's why you know my book
how to Human it's like, oh, how to Human, Three
ways to shear life beyond what distracts, divides and disconnects us.
And it's like, well, well, thanks editor for that cute
little subtitle. But when you read this book, it's not
like a bumper sticker like like, when you read the book,
it's actually hard, Like this isn't easy, which is why
(08:26):
I wrote a book about it, because I think that
it is a difficult very intentional thing that we've got
to do in order to right the ship right. And
so once you see somebody, now you get to put
your money where your mouth is and you get to
free them. So now it's like, oh man, now now
you gotta go even farther. It's like, well, Carlos, I
saw them, like, I let them know that I love
them in spite of our disagreements. I'm like, that's cool,
(08:49):
round of applause for you. But you're not done. Now
what can you do to give them a little bit
of freedom? Oh my god, Yeah, you gotta get close.
There's gotta be proximity. See when I say care, you
have to really care. You have to care. And you
can't see somebody through binoculars, right like like like people
want to you know, read, you know, be human, see humans.
Oh I can see them through my binoculars. No, what
(09:10):
a horrible way to see somebody. You ever try to
find somebody, Like you see a bird in a tree,
you pull out some binoculars, like I want to see
it closer, But then it takes you five minutes to
find it again because it's so hard to see them
from that far away with binoculars. You have to get
close and you have to you have to care. And
you were talking about being an EmPATH. You've got to
grow in your empathy. I talk about them in my book.
One of the ways to do that is through curiosity.
(09:32):
Curiosity leads to empathy. And so yeah, you know, like
it's it's um, I as we record this where I'm
a day away from it coming out, are you so
excited and you've already sold like what six thousand plus copies? Yes? Yes,
I mean so are you already a bestseller? I mean,
who knows who? I mean? I honestly, I and this
may sound like I'm I'm just saying this, but I
(09:53):
really don't care. Um, you don't care, but you know,
I mean I'm a best seller like on Amazon. You know,
all right, I saw you already at number ten. I
know I'm coming for you, Prince Harry. But yeah, you know,
like like I think people are ready for this book.
People are ready to like be challenged and gently lead.
(10:15):
I feel like I have the capacity to, you know,
have hard conversations in grace field ways and so, you know,
lead people gently towards Okay, maybe I can maybe I
can do this a little bit better I although my
face is on the cover of the book, I am
not the expert of on human ing okay if humaning
is a verb like that, Like, I am not the expert,
like I use other guides to get us there. And so, um, yeah,
(10:37):
you know, I'm excited. I'm pumped. I think the book
is going to be something that helps a lot of people.
So is it? Have you written another book before? This
is book number four? Okay? I love to write books,
And but here's the thing about this one. Like my
other three books have been like in the faith space,
like primarily like like they're just kind of like it's been,
(10:58):
and so they've been very kind of like I've got
a pretty narrow net. This is the widest net I've
ever cast because I've got I'll have a lot of
people that I got Buddhists and Muslims and you know,
atheists and a lot of people that follow me that
that I love to help lead, you know, in their lives.
And so I wrote this book with a lot wider
audience in mind. And so that's why I'm really excited
about this, because I feel like, you know, anybody, no
(11:19):
matter what your point of view is, wants to be better,
you know, and so I wanted to help him with that.
So your goal, I feel like I'm I'm just assessing you.
Your goal it is you want to get beyond the religion.
You want to get beyond all the confines that we
(11:39):
have boxed ourselves in, all the things that have separated us,
all the reasons to make us different, and you want
to get It's like that picture I just saw. It's
like nine skeletons all lined up to each other, and
it's like Buddhist, Black, White, Muslim, Christian, and like we're
all a skeleton. Like you want us everyone is the same.
You want us all to shay, Like, listen, we need
(12:01):
to go deeper instead of just having these like this
war of just like hating people on paper, like we
need to actually get to the human and to the
heart and get into our own lives and understand ourselves
then care about others and then actually do something about it,
do something about it. But yes, I mean that's it.
(12:22):
I mean you should be in my therapist because you
figured me out in like two seconds flat, Like, I
that's what I want, you know, I want, I want
us to and listen, I know that everyone's opinions, their faith.
I know that these things are like things that we
like die for, like we believe these things with everything
inside of us. And one of the things that I
say in the book is I don't stand on issues.
(12:44):
I walk with people and and and when people ask me, well, Carlos,
where do you stand on that issue? I always say
I don't. I don't stand on issues. I walk with
people and drives people crazy because what they want me
to do is give them a sound bite so they
can make it an uh decision whether to follow me
or to not follow me, right right right, But I'm like, no, listen, Like,
that's not the point here. The point here is walk
with people that don't look like you, think like you know,
(13:06):
like you, love like you, you know, eat like you,
all the things like you, walk with them, truly walk
with them. And if we really start doing that, gosh,
it's just gonna make us so empathetic. Is gonna make
us just so much better at this human ng thing.
And walking with people and not standing on issues doesn't
mean I don't have opinions on issues. I got lots
of opinions on a lot of issues, and I share them.
(13:27):
But just because I just because I turned my heart
towards somebody else doesn't mean I'm turning my back on
what I believe. But and also, we don't know everything,
So what if you actually can learn something from someone
you know. I've got a journal. Oh it's upstairs. I've
got a change my mind journal, And I try to
find two things every week to change my mind on.
We don't change our mind We think change our minds
(13:48):
the worst thing we could ever do. I try to
change our mind on two things. And I'm gonna talk
about like deep things. It could be deep things, but
it was like the other week, I'll say, oh, I
think I like cauliflower rights this week, like like, I'm
just like change something. But every week find something you
can change in your mind. And I love that you
said that because I think that's so important. I feel
I'm I'm like he studied myself. I actually like I
(14:09):
get I am. I guess I feel like I'm super
like passionate about things. But at the same time, I
feel like I am so aware that no one really
knows anything. I mean, everyone knows something, but like it's
all just people trying to survive and to live. So
like I have a hard time actually aligning with anyone
(14:30):
because I'm like, I think anyone who's so set in
an opinion nothing can never say the same. Like you said,
like all great empires fall, you know, it's like everything
is going to change, It's all gonna So I have
a hard time like even like getting footing sometimes because
like I can see like why people, and I can
(14:50):
also see somebody for all their traumas that has led
them to their belief systems. It's like it's people who
are doing terrible things. I can actually go back to
the origin of where they started, and I'm like, I
see how they got here. You know, Yes, everybody that that,
everybody that has an opinion that you vehemently disagree with,
(15:11):
got there through true experience, true lived life experience in
their life. So although where they have landed maybe dehumanizing,
maybe whatever, Like, it's it's true lived experience that has
gotten them there, right, And so it's like if you
can see that, and then also something else that you
just said, I want I don't want to go buy
your listeners ears is like like you like to, it's
(15:34):
so important to make sure that you're listening to people
and people that are pouring into your lives that you
see that they can actually shift and move, that they're
not so locked in like never changing. This is the
only way this is, you know, Like like sure, I
get that there's gonna be you know, foundational truths for everybody,
but like if if they don't ever move or go,
(15:54):
Like like I told people all the time, like who
am I Like, I'm a Christian guy, but who am
I to be? Like yep, I figured God out, Like
God is like I know, he makes the ears spin
and float and he spit the stars in this guy.
But I got him. I got him. Like I am
still learning every single day, And so if you're following people,
make sure that they're still learning, they're still growing, they're
still shifting. I feel like I have been in the
(16:19):
past of this podcast, I have been so actually obsessed
with traumas in like the suffering of the world because
I'm such an impact that like it's debilitating to me
sometimes where like I will like feel and seeing people's
pain so much that like it kind of like messes
up my life because I get stuck in that this
is existing. But I feel like what do you want?
(16:44):
Like how do you when you get into a moment
because I love this, Like I I feel like now
I'm shifting from like being obsessed with the pain and
the suffering into like what you're doing, Like how do
we do something about it? Like how am I gonna
like instead of just pouring more sadness into what's happening,
how do I actually create a positive momentum and do
(17:04):
some changing. So, like you've talked about you have abouts
of depression, and you are very honest about sharing that,
what do you do when you find yourself there? Because
I feel like a lot of people don't have tools
to get out of there. And I feel like the
goal that I want to do with my podcast this
year is like you have people some real tools to
(17:25):
help themselves when they find themselves in a situation that
they don't know how to get out and they feel
trapped and they feel hopeless, like like your book, like
how do we shift from this hopeless spot? The world's
blown up? My life is over? Like I'm in this
deep hole? How do we get out of there? You know,
I think the first thing we have to do you
have to change language. You have to change your language.
(17:46):
And this is very helpful for me. I'm saying your
language is language in general. Whenever we're going through bouts
of mental health crisis or whatever. It is what I
began to do, and this is again, this is my
tool my tool bag, what I would do, and it
is I had to change the way I would talk
about it. So I used to say things like I
(18:08):
have anxiety and what I'm doing. I mean, listen, psychologists,
neuro scientists, they would they all tell us that our
words literally are cementing truths into our brains, wiring them.
So when we say things like I have anxiety, you
have suddenly made an agreement like a binding, a binding
(18:29):
like neuropathway agreement that this is something that now owns
you that you have. So I've changed my language from
I have anxiety or I have depression too, I'm going
through a season of anxiety or depression. Why now, why
is that important? Well, because seasons have what, they have
beginnings and they have ends. And so for me, just
(18:51):
even saying that I'm going through a season that gives
me hope that there's an end, that that gives me
hope that I'm going to come out the backside, you know.
And so that's one thing. Then the second thing I
would say to that, to that point about what we
say is um, replace the lies that we're believing with truths, right,
And so you know, for me, it's constantly looking gray.
What is the truth that can replace this lie that
(19:14):
I believe about? Okay, I'm never going to get out
of this. I'm so depressed, I am so whatever the
feeling is. When I can't get out of bed, I
I just go and I find the truth. For some people,
those truths are gonna be truths that other people have
spoken of view. For some people, those are gonna be
truths in your faith, whatever that may be. But to
replace those lies with truths or has been such an
important step for me. I literally have them. I used
(19:36):
to carry him in my pocket when I was in
a deep season of anxiety and depression. I literally would
pull out these truths and say, no, I am an overcomer,
I am not bound by depression. And I would say,
I would read it out loud, and what am I doing.
I'm literally scientifically creating new neural pathways as I'm speaking
these things. So for me, my words have become so
(19:58):
important and even my kids now, my kids, when I
hear them talk, they'll say to their to to each other,
their siblings, or to their friends. Actually, don't say that
because that is not you. That's something you're going through.
And I'm like, oh my gosh, this parenting thing is working.
You know, I've done my work here is done. Yeah,
So you know, I mean, those are two little things
that I do. But obviously I mean I have a
(20:18):
couple of podcast episodes on my Human Hope podcast where
I probably too in particular, where I dive deep in
for an hour and a half on like very specific
tools that I use in those seasons, um and and
then also another episode where I talk to people about
if they have family members, if they're not suffering, but
how to help their family members get through it as well.
That's amazing. Yeah, when did you become so fired up
(20:41):
about hope? When did it become your mission, like to
really get this, get people hoping and a better future,
get people fired up that it's not that we're not stuck.
When did this become your m O? I think I
think it was. I know it was, like I know
it was when I begin to talk about you know,
I was talking on That's when I saw me talk
(21:05):
about very difficult subjects like racism or whatever it is
that I was talking about it in ways that we're
people would would like not want to listen to that
because they would feel shamed or judged for some reason.
When I was talking about it, uh, they felt hope.
They felt like, oh like maybe this is And so
when I saw that, I was like, huh, like maybe
(21:25):
people actually could have these conversations if someone has them
in a hope filled way. You don't, you don't make
it wrong for people to believe different things. I think
that's your gifts, Like you really don't make it wrong
for people to have other feelings. Yeah, yeah, well yeah,
it's it's not it's I mean, we're everyone's feeling is valid.
Literally even if even if you don't agree with how
(21:48):
they feel, it's it's still with their feeling, so you know.
And then I also try to turn the spotlight back
on me a lot instead of being like, this is
what you need to learn. You know. I do a
lot of diversity, equity inclusion trainings Incorporate and Travel America
helping you know, companies with this, and you know, they're
always like, gosh, like that was actually so hopeful, Like
I'm so hopeful at the end of that, why is that?
(22:09):
And I was like, because I didn't come in here
giving you data about how bad you are, Like I get,
I come in here and I tell you, no, listen,
here's how things can change, and I believe that you
can be one of the first ones to help it change.
So yeah, you know, I got I think I got
super into giving people hope, calling myself a hope dealer
in twenty dealer, I love that dealer in twenty and
(22:32):
then you know, and then um, you know, we started
kind of giving money away on my Instagram platform, and
then let's talk about that a little bit, because you're
not just like sort of giving money away on your
Instagram platform. You're like raising hundreds of thousands of dollars
and you're changing people's lives. Like you're walking into waffle
house and you're asking people at the waffle house who
worked there, what are your dreams? Like, what what would
(22:53):
bring you joy? Like you're just sitting down, So talk
about this how this started, because this, like it brought
a lot of tears in my eyes. It's really it
is life changing. To give people hope and to actually
see people receiving this hope is incredible. So talk to
me about what you're doing here. Well, yeah, so my
Instagram I called them the install Familia. Uh they're kind
(23:14):
of like my gang, right, like like we we go,
we're hope dealers, right, And and I started in one
UM with like one lady that was one of my
Instagram followers needed she was having multiple caesars a day.
She needed to seizear alert dog. And I went to
her go fund me. She didn't tell me about it,
but I saw it was thirty thousand dollars. She was
fifteen thousand dollars in UM. She'd been raising for two months,
(23:34):
and I was like, I wonder if we could give
her like a thousand dollars that would be so cool.
And I posted it and I think it was thirty
seconds later she had thirty something thousand dollars. She had
all her money, and I was like, what the crap
has happened? Like who who are these people following me?
That they would do this like in literally seconds flat?
And then so I was like, I wonder if we
can do this again? So I did it again and
(23:56):
then we raised We gave a piano player on the
Elden Airport seventy thousand our tip that we raised in
I think it was like four hours. And so, how
do you know when it's when you when you are
how do you know when you feel it? I feel
I. I I just feel like the one. It's never been.
It's never been someone has said, hey, Carlos, can you
help this person? It's always been. I just I run
(24:18):
across and I'm like, I see this guy playing the piano.
Nobody's paying attention on him. Everyone's on their phones. He
has fifteen dollars in his tip. Jar I was like,
this guy is about to get blessed. Insta familiar. It
is time I started live streaming. Let's he literally looks
at me says, my hope has been restored in humanity
and then Wallfloss like, this is the first time I've
done it in Nashville. Always do this as I'm traveling around.
(24:38):
But yeah, we just in the last week we did
it in twenty four hours, raised dred and forty five
thousand dollars for five waff lost employees and to Walmart
employees five six I can't remember, but um and and
we we gave them all like twenty grand and you know,
I walked in and gave him twenty thousand dollars, you know,
and I feel like Santa Claus. But what's beautiful about this?
Here's the thing that's beautiful is I mean I only
(25:01):
gave five of my own dollars, like, like I am,
I could not have done. This is a collective community
of people that that stand on opposite sides of a
lot of issues, that vote for different presidents, coming together
to change people's lives and give hope. And it's become
addicting to not only me but my community. So every
few months I I just kind of like, oh, I
(25:22):
think it's time. I'm feeling it. Let's find somebody. We
find somebody, damn we do these giving blitzes and change
their lives. And so, you know, over the last year
and a half I started this, I guess almost two
years now. Is this kind of what inspired your book too, though,
because you realize that we all can come together? Yes,
well you know again, I'll take I'll take polls on
(25:43):
my Instagram, like hey are dealing left or right politically,
And it's mind blowing that it's like percent, like it's
literally split right down the middle of the people that
are doing this together every day, having conversations with me.
You won't find that anywhere. You won't find that anywhere
on the internet. And so I'm like, wow, Like, look,
(26:04):
when you do something hopeful, people will come together. Two
point four now two point five million dollars they've deposited
inter Venmo and PayPal in the last two years. It's crazy.
Do you just like you're living in magic because you're
actually seeing the goodness of humanity? And I think is
that what you're wanting people to realize that if you
(26:24):
just shift your perspective, if you just recalibrate, if you
just see yourself, honor yourself, love yourself for who you are,
and actually take the time to get to know yourself
and your story and like love yourself and then see
those what do you say see others? Are you do?
Do you mean like people that just cross your path?
Like how do you how should we see others? Because
(26:46):
like seeing and freeing everyone is too much, so like
how do we how do we do that? Just like
the people that come across our path, the people in
front of you, you go, you're going through t s
A tomorrow, someone someone's listen to your podcast. You're going
to t s A. When you get to the to
the front of the line, and that person who has
been like mad dog, stared at, cussed at all day long.
(27:07):
You say, hey, Officer Williams. You read the name, I
can say, thank you, thank you so much for what
you're doing today. They'll almost hug you because they have
not been seen. So you don't have to raise two
point four million dollars to see somebody. Who is it
that you're going coming across every single day? There's not
one single chance encounter in your life. Every single person
is desperate, desperate to be seen. So see them, say
(27:30):
their name. You know that's something that you know, I
try to do all the time. Pay for the you know,
pay for the person's Starbucks behind you, like in line,
Like what are the little things we can do every
single day to see people? But yes, that's what I'm saying.
Can't change the world. I can't give money to every
Walthle House employee in America, but I can to those
five and I did. And I've seen already the new
shoes that Miss Stacy bot she texted me the new
(27:51):
car that Jr. Is going to get. She texted me
the picture because we saw them, and then we freed them.
What happens when someone gets seen and freed, um, they
want to see others and free others. And that is
this domino effect that I'm hoping this book has on
people when when you're seen, When when you're seeing and
(28:11):
you're freed, literally that you like, Miss Stacy took her
money that I gave her and she's I don't know
how much, she's probably given half of it away because
she wants to feel the same thing that I felt. Right,
And so when you see somebody in free somebody, they're
gonna see somebody and free somebody. And can you imagine
if that is the domino effect that happens in America
instead of the hating and binding each other. That's what
(28:33):
we're trying to get to. So have you seen a
ripple effect from you providing hope to people? Have you
seen it? Like? Yeah? And the one that are really
the ones that I really see are the ones that
we like give financial hope and freedom to. Is you know,
Tony who we gave the seventy thousand dollar tip too,
donated sixty five thou dollars to the American Kidney Foundation
(28:54):
because he has kidney failure. So like I'm like, you
gave him seventy and he donated sixty of it. It
you only get fine the piano player. So that's what
I'm talking about. People. It's just you can't help. But
when somebody helps, you help somebody else. I see. People
are good. People are good. Good, They're good, They are good.
(29:18):
Do you feel like it's going to shift? Like do
you feel like we went so heavy? I interviewed Stormy
Warren one time and he told me something that I've
never forgotten. He's everyone listening doesn't know. He's like a
big host in country music. But like he was like,
there's like a pendulum, you know, and it's like it
just always swings, and I feel like we've swung so.
I mean, he's not the only person who said this,
but like we've swung so hard one way you know that.
(29:39):
It's like I feel like then it's like you have
to the recalibration happens. It's like, I feel like, do
you feel like it's going we're going to get to
higher level consciousness as I as a collective. I think
we can. I don't know if we will. It really depends.
I'm very I'm hopeful, you know. By by seeing the
(30:00):
more and more people that are trying to help people
do this, um, by looking at more and more people
that are desiring this. I'm hopeful, but there are you know,
I'm not. I'm not going to pretend that there's not
a growing um. There's not growing platforms of people that
literally get paid to be mean, you know. So so yeah,
I'm hopeful, but but that that's also in my DNA,
(30:22):
and I'm never gonna stop doing that, which is so
ironic When the people who are paid to be means
stand on stand on their platform and they use like
religion as their fuel. I always find that like so ironic,
which is why I love what you're doing, because like
you're using all these great teachers as your evidence, but
you're not. But it's like not using I feel like
this is where my big problem, where religion has always
(30:43):
been is that people will use tiny little facts and
then just you hate with it and that's not the
point of any of it. No, it's not. And and
and again again, I just I use these nine words
as my guide love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,
(31:05):
and self control. If whoever it is I'm following that
has strong opinions about things is dehumanizing other people and
not being those things. They can still believe everything they believe,
but if they don't have those nine things, then I'm
not going to listen to them. And that I just
think that's where we've got to start drawing lines in
the sand. Is that those are the first of the spirit,
those are Yeah, So what is the point of this life?
(31:29):
What do you think the point of this life is? Like?
Why are we all even here this physical experience? Yeah?
I mean there, you know, now is where UM. Now
is where my faith comes into play. Right, So like
I can't separate um our humanness from my faith. I
mean that that that's like what I believe, that we're
here UM on earth for a purpose. And that is
(31:51):
too honestly it is it's too free other people to
give people freedom in some way, shape or form. And
you know, ultimately the freedom I hope everybody gets UM
is freedom with eternal life. Freedom UM, you know, to
to live in a in a state where whether that
be heaven, if that's if that's what somebody believes, but
but getting to the place UM where they are completely
(32:13):
and totally free, not just here, because what good is
it to give somebody freedom for a couple of years
of life and then they're you know, they're gonna bounce
and go somewhere bad. It's like no, Like, my goal
is to give them freedom, ultimate and total freedom. And
so yeah, you know, like but while we're here, let's
give as much hope as we can and let's try
to lessen the pain because we're literally only here for
a blip a blink a blink. So we're here, So
(32:38):
you think we're here just to free people and have hope,
But like what is that? Couldn't we just be free
in heaven? Like why do we have to come to
the physical part of this life just to have a
physical experience? Yeah? Well no, I mean I mean we're
we're here, like like I don't think God's like wasting,
like like are this human experience? You know? It's it's
like he is He put us here on this planet, right,
So like like I'm here for a reason. And also
(33:01):
it says, you know in the Bible that I read
on earth as it is in heaven, So like like
why not bring that side of heaven down here to Earth?
You know, I think I think that that's another responsibility
so I love that you and Annie downs are like
besties and y'all are going on a tour. I love Annie.
I've had her on the podcast too. She is. I mean,
it's no shocker to me that you guys are touring
together because y'all both are bringing so much hope and
(33:24):
fun and you're you're you're reminding people to like, actually
live this life with joy and happiness and enjoy your
life and others enjoy their life, and like, so tell
me about this tour that y'all have happening, because this
is epic. The it's called a Here Free Tour, and
we're coming to twelve cities in June, and it's literally
(33:44):
gonna be Any and I on stage for two hours
talking about cultural issues like what's happening in the world.
And Annie and I don't agree on everything, but it's
not gonna be like a like a fight. It's gonna
be like finding hope in the midst of our of
of everyone in the room leaning certain different directions, you know,
and and and really being here for everybody. It's gonna
be night where're gonna have tons of fun um and
(34:04):
there's gonna be some special guests at some of these places.
But it's like my first like full on like tour,
Like I'm like getting on a tour bus selling tickets
so people can come hang out with me. Uh, and
it's gonna be it's gonna be a lot of fun.
And you know, any of downs is involved, it's gonna
be chaos. Yeah, trust me. She has so much energy
just like you. I actually like marvel at people like
you and Annie because your bandwidth is so big, Like
(34:28):
you have so much room in your life to like
be with people and share. Is that just your DNA?
Do you just have so much coming out of you
that you just have to share it well? And I'm
also an introvert, so a lot of people like really
yeah shocked by that. I'm really good at talking to
my phone, and I'm really good at it on a
stage talking to people that are ten feet away from me. Um,
(34:50):
but like I'm exhausted, Like like Annie gets filled by
that stuff. I'm gonna have to like yes and and
suck my thumb in the bus every single night because
that that's just where I'm going to be. So um,
you know you are you And I love that you
took a big social media detox before you release this book,
because like the amount of energy that it must be
(35:13):
taking you to like do a podcast tour, to go
speak and put yourself out there. And I don't even
know what all it goes into releasing a book, but
like the energy that you have to exert, it's well,
you have to just have a big like how do
you recharge? Like when you you prepared for this, you
gave yourself some downtime to prepare, prepare for this big
surge of energy. How do you recharge? How do you refill?
(35:38):
When you are giving, giving, giving, you are sharing, you
are helping bless others all day every day, how do
you fill yourself back up? Fly fishing really, like I
I love to fly fish, so like there's not been
a in since I went fly fishing for the first
time six years ago. There has not been a maybe
(35:58):
two week period in years that I've not been waist
deep in the river somewhere I know, the Caney Fork
River by Center Hill, Center Hill Lake, um, and so
it's a trout fishery coming out at the bottom of
the of the lake. And uh, I've got a drift
boat and I take my friends and I fly fish
and that is if I'm not in a river. Every
two weeks, my wife literally is like, you, you need
(36:20):
to go find a river because I need you to
get in that because you're starting to get and so
if I don't do that, I will lose my freaking mind.
So I find myself a river all the time. What
happens when you fly fish? What what goes away? What
leaves you? What are you able? I I just there's
something even in the cadence of my cast that is like,
you know, prayerful, just me and the fish, thanking the
(36:42):
fish when I catch the fish, telling it to go
back and swim to its friends and tell its brothers
I want to catch them later, and just it just
all the beauty. I'm just in outdoorsman. So I love,
you know, I love being in deer stands and all
the things that my cousins in East l A wonder
what the heck has happened to me. They call me
a red Mexican because I'm just like, you know, I
moved to Tennessee and I'm just like all in, man,
I'm all in. So there's just something there's something about
(37:04):
connecting with God in nature that does it for me.
And fly fishing has become the thing for me. You
had a post that really like brought tears eyes because
I am a daughter of a of a little girl.
And you said something, um when we pull it up,
because it was so so oh this one, you said, dear,
it's gonna actually make me cry. You said, dear, moms
(37:26):
and dad. The princess stage is amazing, but the slumber
party stage is also amazing. The first crust stage is amazing,
is incredible, but the boy band worship stage is remarkable.
The first date stage is marvelous. Like this makes me
cry when I'm like reading it. Um, the first job
stage is awesome. The turning into an adult stages everything.
I just want to remind you that it keeps getting better.
(37:47):
Sure this makes you cry. Sure it may sometimes seem harder,
but I promise you it gets better. Don't wish they
stay little. Enjoy the miracle that is them getting older.
It's better. It's better that way. Have a national daughter's
satement with it. And I'm like, that is so sweet.
Like that is such a sweet post and like crushes
my heart in the best way. Yea, how do you
(38:09):
have a daughter who's three and a half and she's
in the princess face like and it is so sweet,
and she's coming into her little personality and her like
just purity of spirit. And I'm like, oh, I've just
never so purely in my life, Like I am a
big lover, but like just the love of a child,
it's like and it's it's, it's it. I feel like
(38:35):
God has has gifted us with the capacity to as
our kids who we love and pour everything and to
grow and develop. Um he does. It's not like he
callouss our hearts, but but he does give us a
desire to watch them be who they were created to be. Right,
So two days ago put my daughters who boast to
(38:56):
live at home in twenty nineteen because they go to
college here in Nationale. I know, I literally am the
luckiest dad on the on the earth. So all through
my kids still living. Remember if that's going to change
this year, okay, but they all still. But I just
put them on a plane to go to Paris for
six weeks. What are they doing that? They're just going.
They live at home and so they've saved money and
(39:17):
they don't have expenses, they have jobs, and so let's
just go. So they're going for six weeks that they
got an airbnb paid for all themselves and they have
been there for two days and are having the time
of their life already, And it was the hardest thing
ever for me. That's the longest I'm not going to
see them in another country. Yeah, and they're far away,
but thank God for life through sixty and all the
things that I can track them. But um, yeah, it's
(39:38):
just it's it's who we were created to give them.
We were created to grow them so that they can go.
And you know, now I'm taking care of my parents right,
so like now I'm watching my my dad has dementia.
I'm watching my mom take care of him, and so
I'm literally caring for them and it just it just
life is beautiful. It's tragic, but it's beautiful to it
comes full circle. And I love that you say that too,
(40:00):
because instead of like wishing our children to stay little,
instead of wishing that your dad, you know how, a
full mental awareness there. It's like accepting what it is
and loving all the phases of it because there's no
good and wishing it were different because it's never going
to be and it's never going to stay the same
and so I feel like that's where you are just
(40:21):
so such an excellent guide for us to really like
enjoy the moment, enjoy being human, enjoy what we're experiencing
right now, and then what has it changes, Let's recalibrate
with it, and let's keep finding the good and finding
the joy and seeing the good and seeing seeing all
the blessings instead of being upset that it's not the
(40:43):
way that we knew it to be. Yeah. Absolutely, again,
you're my therapist. You literally have figured me out, like
that is the goal. Well, I just love that you
come online with such enthusiasm and that you're sharing your
message with such a spirit of like just there's such
like there's such just like of an energetic vigor behind you,
Like you just have so much like radiating from you
(41:06):
that just you can feel your energy and your aura
and you're giving it to people and it is infectious.
And I'm just grateful for you, Carlos, that you are
sharing this message and using your life to help others
learn how to human because there is a better way.
We don't have to hate each other, we don't have
to all agree, but there is a way we can
(41:27):
come together and love and respect to each other and
have a much peaceful, happier world, and you are showing
us that, and I'm just so grateful for you giving
so much of your energy to help guide us there. Well,
you're making me blush, and it's hard for a brown
guy to blush, but I'm I'm getting there, and I
just you know, I thank you for even wanting to
have these conversations because they're so important in the fact
(41:49):
that you lean into you know, I don't want you to.
I don't want you to give yourself a hard time
for being felt to lean into people's trauma and into
hard things and the sad things, because those those are
very important. Those are just as true as the good things,
you know. And so I mean, what a tag team
we got here, right like, like you get to share
those things, you get to have me come on and
(42:10):
you know, point people's eyes in this direction and then
you look at you know there is there's there's gonna
be ups, there's gonna be downs, and there needs to
be guides in all those areas and that's what you're doing.
So thank you for even giving me an opportunity to
talk to your people. I can't believe you are letting
me do this. This is Oh my gosh, Carlos, you
are amazing. Honestly, you are so great, and I just
I feel like this podcast has blessed my life just immensely,
(42:33):
and I'm sure you feel the same way with yours.
The people that I have gotten to connect with and
have conversations with, like yourself who just opened my mind,
the books that I have been led to by getting
to interview people like yourself and like get these perspectives.
It's like you have to keep feeding yourself with great
information and finding great leaders and guides and people who
have really done hard work to get awesome answers and
(42:56):
give give some step by step way is of how
to have a happier, better lights. And you have to
actively have those people in your life and search for
them and be in the conversation or else you'll just
get stuck in your old ways and you'll never get
to this place of true like happiness and joy and
understanding and realizing that the world is a beautiful place
(43:18):
because you just stay in your little kind of little
micro world. Totally grow people, Listen, Grow, make it your
goal this year to grow and something change your mind
on something. I love that change your mind journal. Okay,
let's encourage everyone to get a change mind journal. I
always wrap up with leavir Light and basically it's just
an open ended question. What do you want people to know?
(43:39):
I want people to know that this is actually possible
in their lives, that they can actually restore a lot
of relationships that may have been damaged over the last
few years. And uh and and that they're seen. I
want everyone that's listening to this podcast to know that
they're seen. And I see them, even though I don't
see them like I see them, and I know that
(44:00):
I know it sucked. I know there's been a rough
couple of years, but I promise I've seen the goodness
on the other side, and it's waiting for you. If
you just keep putting one ft in front of the other,
don't stop, don't give up, You'll get there. Amazing how
to human Carlos Whittaker, thank you so much for joining me.
You are truly an inspiration, and thank you for sharing
the good word. And everyone, y'all, if you can go
(44:20):
seeing one tour, because I'm sure it's going to be
epic with you and Annie, it's gonna be the last
you're awesome and everyone by this book How to Human.
It's coming out tomorrow. We'll buy it. We're gonna get
this podcast next week, so it'll be out. So get
the book. That's right, Thanks Caroline, thank you so much.
Bye bye
Carola, she's a queen and she's getting afraid, so just
let flow. No one can cry. Carol sounds Carou. I'm
so excited to have Carlos Whittaker here with me today.
(00:31):
What is up, Carlos? What's going on? You are single
handedly going to restore humanity with hope and I love that.
I don't know about all that what I can, but
you are. I mean, like it is. I feel like
it is your mission to let people know that, like
hope is not gone like it is. We are hope.
(00:52):
We just need a recalibration, is what you say. We
we we because you know, I think a lot of
people want to reset, like like it's like like like
when your computer slow, it's like, oh what do I
what do I do? Like we gotta you know, completely
reset it, control all deleted, you know, and and it's
like no, like actually, like we're not too far off.
Like people think like this is as bad as it's
ever been, but it actually isn't. Okay, let's break that down.
(01:15):
Tell me why, because I hear that all the time,
and honestly, like I'm not really a dooms there either,
but I'm a total im path and I have a daughter,
his three and a half, and I like, after COVID
and all that, I kind of did hit the subscription
subscribe to Oh my god, what's happening with the world?
Like we all are gonna die? No one can get along?
Like why is there so much suffering that we're just
(01:37):
doing to each other? You know, Like it took me
a minute, And I love that you talk about like
depression and stuff, how you have dealt with it and
you go into depression and then how you get out
of it, because like I went into a little bit
of a depression after my daughter was born, and COVID
hit that, I was like, I don't know about this world,
Like what is going to happen? Are we all? Is? Like?
(01:57):
Is the United States gonna fall apart? Are are you
gonna be? And hey ye My answer to all of
that is, um, well, first of all, for for any
of the doomsday or's like myself and yourself included, that
have been like, oh my gosh, the United States gonna
fall apart, if we just look back at history books,
the answer is yes, at some point every empire has
(02:20):
collapsed and we will be We're in line. Okay, so
so we but Okay, So knowing that's the case, also
we can look at the history books and go, actually,
like there were people who were chopping each other's heads
off only a hundred and fifty years ago with swords
because they disagreed on things, and that's not necessarily happening
(02:43):
these days. So like, as as much as it's this
is probably as bad as we have felt it, it
definitely is not as bad as it's been before, you know,
And so I just try to I try to remind people, like,
I mean, seriously, look look from the dawn of humanity
until now, and you will see a lot worse, a
lot worse. I mean, even even like it's a black
(03:03):
guy like for me in the South, right, like things
aren't still perfect for me, but things are a lot
better than they were even fifty years ago. So therefore,
like I do have some hope that it's a recalibration,
not a reset that has to happen some makes sense,
that doesn't make sense. And I totally hear you on that,
and I feel like, honestly, what happened in was kind
(03:24):
of I mean, it's it is a blessing that everything
can get like exposed and brought to the surface, because
then I feel like as a collective, we're all like whoa, Okay,
we do need to recalibrate, we do need to get
a grip on this and like restore humanity a little bit.
And so tell me you wrote this amazing book how
how to Human? To Human? I mean, let's talk about
(03:48):
how to Human? I mean, let's the what details. Tell
me where the inspiration came from. Because we were talking
a little bit briefly before you came on. You have
been a preacher. You are such an enthusiasts for life
and hope and giving people inspiration and sharing tools like
how to get out of depression, anxiety, how to have hope,
(04:10):
And so I'm guessing all this led to your book,
how to Human. Let's talk about the basic outline of
this book and what do we need to do to human?
And you give us three big points. Yeah yeah, yeah,
yeah three. So so here's the deal. Obviously, the last
three years, have you know, we have collectively as the
(04:31):
human race, gone through uh collective trauma together like all
of us we have net we're all pandemic rookies, which
led to racial unrest, which led to a presidential election
that made us want to hate our own family members,
which led to it just kept going, you know, and
it's like, oh my gosh, and I finally I realized
it was like that the more people I talked to,
(04:53):
the less like, the less I believe what I mean.
I hate even using these two words because they've been
so skewed. But the word the media right be be
it whatever. They want us to really believe that we
hate each other like like they want us. But the
more I talk to people, the morerow with this. They're
so tired of hating each other. Everybody is just tired
of hating each other and is really looking for a way,
(05:15):
um to not necessarily unify over like opinions, but to
come back to some semblance of like doing this human
thing well. And so I just kind of started digging in.
I started researching like what I could, looking looking at
the life of Jesus, you know, And I told people
in the book, you can believe in Jesus is like
a historical figure like Dandhie or Mother Teresa, or you
(05:36):
can believe in Jesus is the Son of God. And
you still he still wins the Human of the Millennium Award.
He's still awes, So no matter how you look at him,
like he would a great guide to just look at
his humanity, not his divinity. So I kind of use
him as our guide. And uh and when I was looking,
I just was like, man, you know what he did
every day He saw people, and he freed people, see humans,
(05:57):
free humans, see humans, free humans, re single day, over
and over. And I was like, what if we just
copied and pasted that into into our lives. I mean,
like if we look at the last few years, like
the reason why people are screaming is because nobody's seeing
them that. I mean, if there's one human felt need
that we all have is to be seen. And so
(06:20):
you know, I I started the book off with b human,
which is like, you know, before we can see anybody,
we gotta see ourselves. So we've got to realize who
we were created to be, find our identity, and really
dig into that, right Like you know, I live here
in the South. I mean we were just talking before
the show, like I'm I'm friends with Kaylee and Russell Dickerson,
and I tell Russell all the time, like, you know,
I didn't really like country music till I met Russell
(06:40):
and and you know he's got now. Man, I listen
to these songs because I'm not from the South, but
I listen to songs about like Dixie cups and sweet
tea and fireflies, and I'm like, bro, like, I have
never been more proud to be in the South than
when I listened to you know, blue ta Comba can't.
I'm like, go get me a blue Tacoma, right and
and and I So I'm telling people like like that
that are from here. It's like, hey, listen. Of course,
(07:02):
there's things that like we're all ashamed of in our history.
There's things that we're all ashamed of. But be fully
who you are if you're from the South. I mean
love your sweet tea and your fireflies and your Dixie
cups and your mass potatoes, Like all of these things
are so awesome. So be that. If you if you've
got an Italian grandma and you've never made homemade pasta,
what are you doing with your life? Like tap into
(07:23):
who you were really created to be and be fully human.
Once you can be that, uh, then it's so much
easier to see other people, right because it's like, oh,
I'm confident in who I am. Now I can see
people that may not look like me, think like me,
vote like me, love like me, all of these other things.
Guess what, you can still see them without um giving
(07:44):
up on your values or whatever it is that you
may believe, you know, whole hardly about something. We can
actually do this, and so seeing people is that next step,
you know, And I think that that's probably the hardest
piece is because we've been we we we can get
siloed in our social media circles. We just want to
all of the voices that I agree, I agree with
our point of views, and so suddenly when we hear
(08:04):
or see somebody from outside of our point of view,
it's so hard to see them. Um. But that's not
the last step. So that's why you know my book
how to Human it's like, oh, how to Human, Three
ways to shear life beyond what distracts, divides and disconnects us.
And it's like, well, well, thanks editor for that cute
little subtitle. But when you read this book, it's not
like a bumper sticker like like, when you read the book,
it's actually hard, Like this isn't easy, which is why
(08:26):
I wrote a book about it, because I think that
it is a difficult very intentional thing that we've got
to do in order to right the ship right. And
so once you see somebody, now you get to put
your money where your mouth is and you get to
free them. So now it's like, oh man, now now
you gotta go even farther. It's like, well, Carlos, I
saw them, like, I let them know that I love
them in spite of our disagreements. I'm like, that's cool,
(08:49):
round of applause for you. But you're not done. Now
what can you do to give them a little bit
of freedom? Oh my god, Yeah, you gotta get close.
There's gotta be proximity. See when I say care, you
have to really care. You have to care. And you
can't see somebody through binoculars, right like like like people
want to you know, read, you know, be human, see humans.
Oh I can see them through my binoculars. No, what
(09:10):
a horrible way to see somebody. You ever try to
find somebody, Like you see a bird in a tree,
you pull out some binoculars, like I want to see
it closer, But then it takes you five minutes to
find it again because it's so hard to see them
from that far away with binoculars. You have to get
close and you have to you have to care. And
you were talking about being an EmPATH. You've got to
grow in your empathy. I talk about them in my book.
One of the ways to do that is through curiosity.
(09:32):
Curiosity leads to empathy. And so yeah, you know, like
it's it's um, I as we record this where I'm
a day away from it coming out, are you so
excited and you've already sold like what six thousand plus copies? Yes? Yes,
I mean so are you already a bestseller? I mean,
who knows who? I mean? I honestly, I and this
may sound like I'm I'm just saying this, but I
(09:53):
really don't care. Um, you don't care, but you know,
I mean I'm a best seller like on Amazon. You know,
all right, I saw you already at number ten. I
know I'm coming for you, Prince Harry. But yeah, you know,
like like I think people are ready for this book.
People are ready to like be challenged and gently lead.
(10:15):
I feel like I have the capacity to, you know,
have hard conversations in grace field ways and so, you know,
lead people gently towards Okay, maybe I can maybe I
can do this a little bit better I although my
face is on the cover of the book, I am
not the expert of on human ing okay if humaning
is a verb like that, Like, I am not the expert,
like I use other guides to get us there. And so, um, yeah,
(10:37):
you know, I'm excited. I'm pumped. I think the book
is going to be something that helps a lot of people.
So is it? Have you written another book before? This
is book number four? Okay? I love to write books,
And but here's the thing about this one. Like my
other three books have been like in the faith space,
like primarily like like they're just kind of like it's been,
(10:58):
and so they've been very kind of like I've got
a pretty narrow net. This is the widest net I've
ever cast because I've got I'll have a lot of
people that I got Buddhists and Muslims and you know,
atheists and a lot of people that follow me that
that I love to help lead, you know, in their lives.
And so I wrote this book with a lot wider
audience in mind. And so that's why I'm really excited
about this, because I feel like, you know, anybody, no
(11:19):
matter what your point of view is, wants to be better,
you know, and so I wanted to help him with that.
So your goal, I feel like I'm I'm just assessing you.
Your goal it is you want to get beyond the religion.
You want to get beyond all the confines that we
(11:39):
have boxed ourselves in, all the things that have separated us,
all the reasons to make us different, and you want
to get It's like that picture I just saw. It's
like nine skeletons all lined up to each other, and
it's like Buddhist, Black, White, Muslim, Christian, and like we're
all a skeleton. Like you want us everyone is the same.
You want us all to shay, Like, listen, we need
(12:01):
to go deeper instead of just having these like this
war of just like hating people on paper, like we
need to actually get to the human and to the
heart and get into our own lives and understand ourselves
then care about others and then actually do something about it,
do something about it. But yes, I mean that's it.
(12:22):
I mean you should be in my therapist because you
figured me out in like two seconds flat, Like, I
that's what I want, you know, I want, I want
us to and listen, I know that everyone's opinions, their faith.
I know that these things are like things that we
like die for, like we believe these things with everything
inside of us. And one of the things that I
say in the book is I don't stand on issues.
(12:44):
I walk with people and and and when people ask me, well, Carlos,
where do you stand on that issue? I always say
I don't. I don't stand on issues. I walk with
people and drives people crazy because what they want me
to do is give them a sound bite so they
can make it an uh decision whether to follow me
or to not follow me, right right right, But I'm like, no, listen, Like,
that's not the point here. The point here is walk
with people that don't look like you, think like you know,
(13:06):
like you, love like you, you know, eat like you,
all the things like you, walk with them, truly walk
with them. And if we really start doing that, gosh,
it's just gonna make us so empathetic. Is gonna make
us just so much better at this human ng thing.
And walking with people and not standing on issues doesn't
mean I don't have opinions on issues. I got lots
of opinions on a lot of issues, and I share them.
(13:27):
But just because I just because I turned my heart
towards somebody else doesn't mean I'm turning my back on
what I believe. But and also, we don't know everything,
So what if you actually can learn something from someone
you know. I've got a journal. Oh it's upstairs. I've
got a change my mind journal, And I try to
find two things every week to change my mind on.
We don't change our mind We think change our minds
(13:48):
the worst thing we could ever do. I try to
change our mind on two things. And I'm gonna talk
about like deep things. It could be deep things, but
it was like the other week, I'll say, oh, I
think I like cauliflower rights this week, like like, I'm
just like change something. But every week find something you
can change in your mind. And I love that you
said that because I think that's so important. I feel
I'm I'm like he studied myself. I actually like I
(14:09):
get I am. I guess I feel like I'm super
like passionate about things. But at the same time, I
feel like I am so aware that no one really
knows anything. I mean, everyone knows something, but like it's
all just people trying to survive and to live. So
like I have a hard time actually aligning with anyone
(14:30):
because I'm like, I think anyone who's so set in
an opinion nothing can never say the same. Like you said,
like all great empires fall, you know, it's like everything
is going to change, It's all gonna So I have
a hard time like even like getting footing sometimes because
like I can see like why people, and I can
(14:50):
also see somebody for all their traumas that has led
them to their belief systems. It's like it's people who
are doing terrible things. I can actually go back to
the origin of where they started, and I'm like, I
see how they got here. You know, Yes, everybody that that,
everybody that has an opinion that you vehemently disagree with,
(15:11):
got there through true experience, true lived life experience in
their life. So although where they have landed maybe dehumanizing,
maybe whatever, Like, it's it's true lived experience that has
gotten them there, right, And so it's like if you
can see that, and then also something else that you
just said, I want I don't want to go buy
your listeners ears is like like you like to, it's
(15:34):
so important to make sure that you're listening to people
and people that are pouring into your lives that you
see that they can actually shift and move, that they're
not so locked in like never changing. This is the
only way this is, you know, Like like sure, I
get that there's gonna be you know, foundational truths for everybody,
but like if if they don't ever move or go,
(15:54):
Like like I told people all the time, like who
am I Like, I'm a Christian guy, but who am
I to be? Like yep, I figured God out, Like
God is like I know, he makes the ears spin
and float and he spit the stars in this guy.
But I got him. I got him. Like I am
still learning every single day, And so if you're following people,
make sure that they're still learning, they're still growing, they're
still shifting. I feel like I have been in the
(16:19):
past of this podcast, I have been so actually obsessed
with traumas in like the suffering of the world because
I'm such an impact that like it's debilitating to me
sometimes where like I will like feel and seeing people's
pain so much that like it kind of like messes
up my life because I get stuck in that this
is existing. But I feel like what do you want?
(16:44):
Like how do you when you get into a moment
because I love this, Like I I feel like now
I'm shifting from like being obsessed with the pain and
the suffering into like what you're doing, Like how do
we do something about it? Like how am I gonna
like instead of just pouring more sadness into what's happening,
how do I actually create a positive momentum and do
(17:04):
some changing. So, like you've talked about you have abouts
of depression, and you are very honest about sharing that,
what do you do when you find yourself there? Because
I feel like a lot of people don't have tools
to get out of there. And I feel like the
goal that I want to do with my podcast this
year is like you have people some real tools to
(17:25):
help themselves when they find themselves in a situation that
they don't know how to get out and they feel
trapped and they feel hopeless, like like your book, like
how do we shift from this hopeless spot? The world's
blown up? My life is over? Like I'm in this
deep hole? How do we get out of there? You know,
I think the first thing we have to do you
have to change language. You have to change your language.
(17:46):
And this is very helpful for me. I'm saying your
language is language in general. Whenever we're going through bouts
of mental health crisis or whatever. It is what I
began to do, and this is again, this is my
tool my tool bag, what I would do, and it
is I had to change the way I would talk
about it. So I used to say things like I
(18:08):
have anxiety and what I'm doing. I mean, listen, psychologists,
neuro scientists, they would they all tell us that our
words literally are cementing truths into our brains, wiring them.
So when we say things like I have anxiety, you
have suddenly made an agreement like a binding, a binding
(18:29):
like neuropathway agreement that this is something that now owns
you that you have. So I've changed my language from
I have anxiety or I have depression too, I'm going
through a season of anxiety or depression. Why now, why
is that important? Well, because seasons have what, they have
beginnings and they have ends. And so for me, just
(18:51):
even saying that I'm going through a season that gives
me hope that there's an end, that that gives me
hope that I'm going to come out the backside, you know.
And so that's one thing. Then the second thing I
would say to that, to that point about what we
say is um, replace the lies that we're believing with truths, right,
And so you know, for me, it's constantly looking gray.
What is the truth that can replace this lie that
(19:14):
I believe about? Okay, I'm never going to get out
of this. I'm so depressed, I am so whatever the
feeling is. When I can't get out of bed, I
I just go and I find the truth. For some people,
those truths are gonna be truths that other people have
spoken of view. For some people, those are gonna be
truths in your faith, whatever that may be. But to
replace those lies with truths or has been such an
important step for me. I literally have them. I used
(19:36):
to carry him in my pocket when I was in
a deep season of anxiety and depression. I literally would
pull out these truths and say, no, I am an overcomer,
I am not bound by depression. And I would say,
I would read it out loud, and what am I doing.
I'm literally scientifically creating new neural pathways as I'm speaking
these things. So for me, my words have become so
(19:58):
important and even my kids now, my kids, when I
hear them talk, they'll say to their to to each other,
their siblings, or to their friends. Actually, don't say that
because that is not you. That's something you're going through.
And I'm like, oh my gosh, this parenting thing is working.
You know, I've done my work here is done. Yeah,
So you know, I mean, those are two little things
that I do. But obviously I mean I have a
(20:18):
couple of podcast episodes on my Human Hope podcast where
I probably too in particular, where I dive deep in
for an hour and a half on like very specific
tools that I use in those seasons, um and and
then also another episode where I talk to people about
if they have family members, if they're not suffering, but
how to help their family members get through it as well.
That's amazing. Yeah, when did you become so fired up
(20:41):
about hope? When did it become your mission, like to
really get this, get people hoping and a better future,
get people fired up that it's not that we're not stuck.
When did this become your m O? I think I
think it was. I know it was, like I know
it was when I begin to talk about you know,
I was talking on That's when I saw me talk
(21:05):
about very difficult subjects like racism or whatever it is
that I was talking about it in ways that we're
people would would like not want to listen to that
because they would feel shamed or judged for some reason.
When I was talking about it, uh, they felt hope.
They felt like, oh like maybe this is And so
when I saw that, I was like, huh, like maybe
(21:25):
people actually could have these conversations if someone has them
in a hope filled way. You don't, you don't make
it wrong for people to believe different things. I think
that's your gifts, Like you really don't make it wrong
for people to have other feelings. Yeah, yeah, well yeah,
it's it's not it's I mean, we're everyone's feeling is valid.
Literally even if even if you don't agree with how
(21:48):
they feel, it's it's still with their feeling, so you know.
And then I also try to turn the spotlight back
on me a lot instead of being like, this is
what you need to learn. You know. I do a
lot of diversity, equity inclusion trainings Incorporate and Travel America
helping you know, companies with this, and you know, they're
always like, gosh, like that was actually so hopeful, Like
I'm so hopeful at the end of that, why is that?
(22:09):
And I was like, because I didn't come in here
giving you data about how bad you are, Like I get,
I come in here and I tell you, no, listen,
here's how things can change, and I believe that you
can be one of the first ones to help it change.
So yeah, you know, I got I think I got
super into giving people hope, calling myself a hope dealer
in twenty dealer, I love that dealer in twenty and
(22:32):
then you know, and then um, you know, we started
kind of giving money away on my Instagram platform, and
then let's talk about that a little bit, because you're
not just like sort of giving money away on your
Instagram platform. You're like raising hundreds of thousands of dollars
and you're changing people's lives. Like you're walking into waffle
house and you're asking people at the waffle house who
worked there, what are your dreams? Like, what what would
(22:53):
bring you joy? Like you're just sitting down, So talk
about this how this started, because this, like it brought
a lot of tears in my eyes. It's really it
is life changing. To give people hope and to actually
see people receiving this hope is incredible. So talk to
me about what you're doing here. Well, yeah, so my
Instagram I called them the install Familia. Uh they're kind
(23:14):
of like my gang, right, like like we we go,
we're hope dealers, right, And and I started in one
UM with like one lady that was one of my
Instagram followers needed she was having multiple caesars a day.
She needed to seizear alert dog. And I went to
her go fund me. She didn't tell me about it,
but I saw it was thirty thousand dollars. She was
fifteen thousand dollars in UM. She'd been raising for two months,
(23:34):
and I was like, I wonder if we could give
her like a thousand dollars that would be so cool.
And I posted it and I think it was thirty
seconds later she had thirty something thousand dollars. She had
all her money, and I was like, what the crap
has happened? Like who who are these people following me?
That they would do this like in literally seconds flat?
And then so I was like, I wonder if we
can do this again? So I did it again and
(23:56):
then we raised We gave a piano player on the
Elden Airport seventy thousand our tip that we raised in
I think it was like four hours. And so, how
do you know when it's when you when you are
how do you know when you feel it? I feel
I. I I just feel like the one. It's never been.
It's never been someone has said, hey, Carlos, can you
help this person? It's always been. I just I run
(24:18):
across and I'm like, I see this guy playing the piano.
Nobody's paying attention on him. Everyone's on their phones. He
has fifteen dollars in his tip. Jar I was like,
this guy is about to get blessed. Insta familiar. It
is time I started live streaming. Let's he literally looks
at me says, my hope has been restored in humanity
and then Wallfloss like, this is the first time I've
done it in Nashville. Always do this as I'm traveling around.
(24:38):
But yeah, we just in the last week we did
it in twenty four hours, raised dred and forty five
thousand dollars for five waff lost employees and to Walmart
employees five six I can't remember, but um and and
we we gave them all like twenty grand and you know,
I walked in and gave him twenty thousand dollars, you know,
and I feel like Santa Claus. But what's beautiful about this?
Here's the thing that's beautiful is I mean I only
(25:01):
gave five of my own dollars, like, like I am,
I could not have done. This is a collective community
of people that that stand on opposite sides of a
lot of issues, that vote for different presidents, coming together
to change people's lives and give hope. And it's become
addicting to not only me but my community. So every
few months I I just kind of like, oh, I
(25:22):
think it's time. I'm feeling it. Let's find somebody. We
find somebody, damn we do these giving blitzes and change
their lives. And so, you know, over the last year
and a half I started this, I guess almost two
years now. Is this kind of what inspired your book too, though,
because you realize that we all can come together? Yes,
well you know again, I'll take I'll take polls on
(25:43):
my Instagram, like hey are dealing left or right politically,
And it's mind blowing that it's like percent, like it's
literally split right down the middle of the people that
are doing this together every day, having conversations with me.
You won't find that anywhere. You won't find that anywhere
on the internet. And so I'm like, wow, Like, look,
(26:04):
when you do something hopeful, people will come together. Two
point four now two point five million dollars they've deposited
inter Venmo and PayPal in the last two years. It's crazy.
Do you just like you're living in magic because you're
actually seeing the goodness of humanity? And I think is
that what you're wanting people to realize that if you
(26:24):
just shift your perspective, if you just recalibrate, if you
just see yourself, honor yourself, love yourself for who you are,
and actually take the time to get to know yourself
and your story and like love yourself and then see
those what do you say see others? Are you do?
Do you mean like people that just cross your path?
Like how do you how should we see others? Because
(26:46):
like seeing and freeing everyone is too much, so like
how do we how do we do that? Just like
the people that come across our path, the people in
front of you, you go, you're going through t s
A tomorrow, someone someone's listen to your podcast. You're going
to t s A. When you get to the to
the front of the line, and that person who has
been like mad dog, stared at, cussed at all day long.
(27:07):
You say, hey, Officer Williams. You read the name, I
can say, thank you, thank you so much for what
you're doing today. They'll almost hug you because they have
not been seen. So you don't have to raise two
point four million dollars to see somebody. Who is it
that you're going coming across every single day? There's not
one single chance encounter in your life. Every single person
is desperate, desperate to be seen. So see them, say
(27:30):
their name. You know that's something that you know, I
try to do all the time. Pay for the you know,
pay for the person's Starbucks behind you, like in line,
Like what are the little things we can do every
single day to see people? But yes, that's what I'm saying.
Can't change the world. I can't give money to every
Walthle House employee in America, but I can to those
five and I did. And I've seen already the new
shoes that Miss Stacy bot she texted me the new
(27:51):
car that Jr. Is going to get. She texted me
the picture because we saw them, and then we freed them.
What happens when someone gets seen and freed, um, they
want to see others and free others. And that is
this domino effect that I'm hoping this book has on
people when when you're seen, When when you're seeing and
(28:11):
you're freed, literally that you like, Miss Stacy took her
money that I gave her and she's I don't know
how much, she's probably given half of it away because
she wants to feel the same thing that I felt. Right,
And so when you see somebody in free somebody, they're
gonna see somebody and free somebody. And can you imagine
if that is the domino effect that happens in America
instead of the hating and binding each other. That's what
(28:33):
we're trying to get to. So have you seen a
ripple effect from you providing hope to people? Have you
seen it? Like? Yeah? And the one that are really
the ones that I really see are the ones that
we like give financial hope and freedom to. Is you know,
Tony who we gave the seventy thousand dollar tip too,
donated sixty five thou dollars to the American Kidney Foundation
(28:54):
because he has kidney failure. So like I'm like, you
gave him seventy and he donated sixty of it. It
you only get fine the piano player. So that's what
I'm talking about. People. It's just you can't help. But
when somebody helps, you help somebody else. I see. People
are good. People are good. Good, They're good, They are good.
(29:18):
Do you feel like it's going to shift? Like do
you feel like we went so heavy? I interviewed Stormy
Warren one time and he told me something that I've
never forgotten. He's everyone listening doesn't know. He's like a
big host in country music. But like he was like,
there's like a pendulum, you know, and it's like it
just always swings, and I feel like we've swung so.
I mean, he's not the only person who said this,
but like we've swung so hard one way you know that.
(29:39):
It's like I feel like then it's like you have
to the recalibration happens. It's like, I feel like, do
you feel like it's going we're going to get to
higher level consciousness as I as a collective. I think
we can. I don't know if we will. It really depends.
I'm very I'm hopeful, you know. By by seeing the
(30:00):
more and more people that are trying to help people
do this, um, by looking at more and more people
that are desiring this. I'm hopeful, but there are you know,
I'm not. I'm not going to pretend that there's not
a growing um. There's not growing platforms of people that
literally get paid to be mean, you know. So so yeah,
I'm hopeful, but but that that's also in my DNA,
(30:22):
and I'm never gonna stop doing that, which is so
ironic When the people who are paid to be means
stand on stand on their platform and they use like
religion as their fuel. I always find that like so ironic,
which is why I love what you're doing, because like
you're using all these great teachers as your evidence, but
you're not. But it's like not using I feel like
this is where my big problem, where religion has always
(30:43):
been is that people will use tiny little facts and
then just you hate with it and that's not the
point of any of it. No, it's not. And and
and again again, I just I use these nine words
as my guide love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,
(31:05):
and self control. If whoever it is I'm following that
has strong opinions about things is dehumanizing other people and
not being those things. They can still believe everything they believe,
but if they don't have those nine things, then I'm
not going to listen to them. And that I just
think that's where we've got to start drawing lines in
the sand. Is that those are the first of the spirit,
those are Yeah, So what is the point of this life?
(31:29):
What do you think the point of this life is? Like?
Why are we all even here this physical experience? Yeah?
I mean there, you know, now is where UM. Now
is where my faith comes into play. Right, So like
I can't separate um our humanness from my faith. I
mean that that that's like what I believe, that we're
here UM on earth for a purpose. And that is
(31:51):
too honestly it is it's too free other people to
give people freedom in some way, shape or form. And
you know, ultimately the freedom I hope everybody gets UM
is freedom with eternal life. Freedom UM, you know, to
to live in a in a state where whether that
be heaven, if that's if that's what somebody believes, but
but getting to the place UM where they are completely
(32:13):
and totally free, not just here, because what good is
it to give somebody freedom for a couple of years
of life and then they're you know, they're gonna bounce
and go somewhere bad. It's like no, Like, my goal
is to give them freedom, ultimate and total freedom. And
so yeah, you know, like but while we're here, let's
give as much hope as we can and let's try
to lessen the pain because we're literally only here for
a blip a blink a blink. So we're here, So
(32:38):
you think we're here just to free people and have hope,
But like what is that? Couldn't we just be free
in heaven? Like why do we have to come to
the physical part of this life just to have a
physical experience? Yeah? Well no, I mean I mean we're
we're here, like like I don't think God's like wasting,
like like are this human experience? You know? It's it's
like he is He put us here on this planet, right,
So like like I'm here for a reason. And also
(33:01):
it says, you know in the Bible that I read
on earth as it is in heaven, So like like
why not bring that side of heaven down here to Earth?
You know, I think I think that that's another responsibility
so I love that you and Annie downs are like
besties and y'all are going on a tour. I love Annie.
I've had her on the podcast too. She is. I mean,
it's no shocker to me that you guys are touring
together because y'all both are bringing so much hope and
(33:24):
fun and you're you're you're reminding people to like, actually
live this life with joy and happiness and enjoy your
life and others enjoy their life, and like, so tell
me about this tour that y'all have happening, because this
is epic. The it's called a Here Free Tour, and
we're coming to twelve cities in June, and it's literally
(33:44):
gonna be Any and I on stage for two hours
talking about cultural issues like what's happening in the world.
And Annie and I don't agree on everything, but it's
not gonna be like a like a fight. It's gonna
be like finding hope in the midst of our of
of everyone in the room leaning certain different directions, you know,
and and and really being here for everybody. It's gonna
be night where're gonna have tons of fun um and
(34:04):
there's gonna be some special guests at some of these places.
But it's like my first like full on like tour,
Like I'm like getting on a tour bus selling tickets
so people can come hang out with me. Uh, and
it's gonna be it's gonna be a lot of fun.
And you know, any of downs is involved, it's gonna
be chaos. Yeah, trust me. She has so much energy
just like you. I actually like marvel at people like
you and Annie because your bandwidth is so big, Like
(34:28):
you have so much room in your life to like
be with people and share. Is that just your DNA?
Do you just have so much coming out of you
that you just have to share it well? And I'm
also an introvert, so a lot of people like really
yeah shocked by that. I'm really good at talking to
my phone, and I'm really good at it on a
stage talking to people that are ten feet away from me. Um,
(34:50):
but like I'm exhausted, Like like Annie gets filled by
that stuff. I'm gonna have to like yes and and
suck my thumb in the bus every single night because
that that's just where I'm going to be. So um,
you know you are you And I love that you
took a big social media detox before you release this book,
because like the amount of energy that it must be
(35:13):
taking you to like do a podcast tour, to go
speak and put yourself out there. And I don't even
know what all it goes into releasing a book, but
like the energy that you have to exert, it's well,
you have to just have a big like how do
you recharge? Like when you you prepared for this, you
gave yourself some downtime to prepare, prepare for this big
surge of energy. How do you recharge? How do you refill?
(35:38):
When you are giving, giving, giving, you are sharing, you
are helping bless others all day every day, how do
you fill yourself back up? Fly fishing really, like I
I love to fly fish, so like there's not been
a in since I went fly fishing for the first
time six years ago. There has not been a maybe
(35:58):
two week period in years that I've not been waist
deep in the river somewhere I know, the Caney Fork
River by Center Hill, Center Hill Lake, um, and so
it's a trout fishery coming out at the bottom of
the of the lake. And uh, I've got a drift
boat and I take my friends and I fly fish
and that is if I'm not in a river. Every
two weeks, my wife literally is like, you, you need
(36:20):
to go find a river because I need you to
get in that because you're starting to get and so
if I don't do that, I will lose my freaking mind.
So I find myself a river all the time. What
happens when you fly fish? What what goes away? What
leaves you? What are you able? I I just there's
something even in the cadence of my cast that is like,
you know, prayerful, just me and the fish, thanking the
(36:42):
fish when I catch the fish, telling it to go
back and swim to its friends and tell its brothers
I want to catch them later, and just it just
all the beauty. I'm just in outdoorsman. So I love,
you know, I love being in deer stands and all
the things that my cousins in East l A wonder
what the heck has happened to me. They call me
a red Mexican because I'm just like, you know, I
moved to Tennessee and I'm just like all in, man,
I'm all in. So there's just something there's something about
(37:04):
connecting with God in nature that does it for me.
And fly fishing has become the thing for me. You
had a post that really like brought tears eyes because
I am a daughter of a of a little girl.
And you said something, um when we pull it up,
because it was so so oh this one, you said, dear,
it's gonna actually make me cry. You said, dear, moms
(37:26):
and dad. The princess stage is amazing, but the slumber
party stage is also amazing. The first crust stage is amazing,
is incredible, but the boy band worship stage is remarkable.
The first date stage is marvelous. Like this makes me
cry when I'm like reading it. Um, the first job
stage is awesome. The turning into an adult stages everything.
I just want to remind you that it keeps getting better.
(37:47):
Sure this makes you cry. Sure it may sometimes seem harder,
but I promise you it gets better. Don't wish they
stay little. Enjoy the miracle that is them getting older.
It's better. It's better that way. Have a national daughter's
satement with it. And I'm like, that is so sweet.
Like that is such a sweet post and like crushes
my heart in the best way. Yea, how do you
(38:09):
have a daughter who's three and a half and she's
in the princess face like and it is so sweet,
and she's coming into her little personality and her like
just purity of spirit. And I'm like, oh, I've just
never so purely in my life, Like I am a
big lover, but like just the love of a child,
it's like and it's it's, it's it. I feel like
(38:35):
God has has gifted us with the capacity to as
our kids who we love and pour everything and to
grow and develop. Um he does. It's not like he
callouss our hearts, but but he does give us a
desire to watch them be who they were created to be. Right,
So two days ago put my daughters who boast to
(38:56):
live at home in twenty nineteen because they go to
college here in Nationale. I know, I literally am the
luckiest dad on the on the earth. So all through
my kids still living. Remember if that's going to change
this year, okay, but they all still. But I just
put them on a plane to go to Paris for
six weeks. What are they doing that? They're just going.
They live at home and so they've saved money and
(39:17):
they don't have expenses, they have jobs, and so let's
just go. So they're going for six weeks that they
got an airbnb paid for all themselves and they have
been there for two days and are having the time
of their life already, And it was the hardest thing
ever for me. That's the longest I'm not going to
see them in another country. Yeah, and they're far away,
but thank God for life through sixty and all the
things that I can track them. But um, yeah, it's
(39:38):
just it's it's who we were created to give them.
We were created to grow them so that they can go.
And you know, now I'm taking care of my parents right,
so like now I'm watching my my dad has dementia.
I'm watching my mom take care of him, and so
I'm literally caring for them and it just it just
life is beautiful. It's tragic, but it's beautiful to it
comes full circle. And I love that you say that too,
(40:00):
because instead of like wishing our children to stay little,
instead of wishing that your dad, you know how, a
full mental awareness there. It's like accepting what it is
and loving all the phases of it because there's no
good and wishing it were different because it's never going
to be and it's never going to stay the same
and so I feel like that's where you are just
(40:21):
so such an excellent guide for us to really like
enjoy the moment, enjoy being human, enjoy what we're experiencing
right now, and then what has it changes, Let's recalibrate
with it, and let's keep finding the good and finding
the joy and seeing the good and seeing seeing all
the blessings instead of being upset that it's not the
(40:43):
way that we knew it to be. Yeah. Absolutely, again,
you're my therapist. You literally have figured me out, like
that is the goal. Well, I just love that you
come online with such enthusiasm and that you're sharing your
message with such a spirit of like just there's such
like there's such just like of an energetic vigor behind you,
Like you just have so much like radiating from you
(41:06):
that just you can feel your energy and your aura
and you're giving it to people and it is infectious.
And I'm just grateful for you, Carlos, that you are
sharing this message and using your life to help others
learn how to human because there is a better way.
We don't have to hate each other, we don't have
to all agree, but there is a way we can
(41:27):
come together and love and respect to each other and
have a much peaceful, happier world, and you are showing
us that, and I'm just so grateful for you giving
so much of your energy to help guide us there. Well,
you're making me blush, and it's hard for a brown
guy to blush, but I'm I'm getting there, and I
just you know, I thank you for even wanting to
have these conversations because they're so important in the fact
(41:49):
that you lean into you know, I don't want you to.
I don't want you to give yourself a hard time
for being felt to lean into people's trauma and into
hard things and the sad things, because those those are
very important. Those are just as true as the good things,
you know. And so I mean, what a tag team
we got here, right like, like you get to share
those things, you get to have me come on and
(42:10):
you know, point people's eyes in this direction and then
you look at you know there is there's there's gonna
be ups, there's gonna be downs, and there needs to
be guides in all those areas and that's what you're doing.
So thank you for even giving me an opportunity to
talk to your people. I can't believe you are letting
me do this. This is Oh my gosh, Carlos, you
are amazing. Honestly, you are so great, and I just
I feel like this podcast has blessed my life just immensely,
(42:33):
and I'm sure you feel the same way with yours.
The people that I have gotten to connect with and
have conversations with, like yourself who just opened my mind,
the books that I have been led to by getting
to interview people like yourself and like get these perspectives.
It's like you have to keep feeding yourself with great
information and finding great leaders and guides and people who
have really done hard work to get awesome answers and
(42:56):
give give some step by step way is of how
to have a happier, better lights. And you have to
actively have those people in your life and search for
them and be in the conversation or else you'll just
get stuck in your old ways and you'll never get
to this place of true like happiness and joy and
understanding and realizing that the world is a beautiful place
(43:18):
because you just stay in your little kind of little
micro world. Totally grow people, Listen, Grow, make it your
goal this year to grow and something change your mind
on something. I love that change your mind journal. Okay,
let's encourage everyone to get a change mind journal. I
always wrap up with leavir Light and basically it's just
an open ended question. What do you want people to know?
(43:39):
I want people to know that this is actually possible
in their lives, that they can actually restore a lot
of relationships that may have been damaged over the last
few years. And uh and and that they're seen. I
want everyone that's listening to this podcast to know that
they're seen. And I see them, even though I don't
see them like I see them, and I know that
(44:00):
I know it sucked. I know there's been a rough
couple of years, but I promise I've seen the goodness
on the other side, and it's waiting for you. If
you just keep putting one ft in front of the other,
don't stop, don't give up, You'll get there. Amazing how
to human Carlos Whittaker, thank you so much for joining me.
You are truly an inspiration, and thank you for sharing
the good word. And everyone, y'all, if you can go
(44:20):
seeing one tour, because I'm sure it's going to be
epic with you and Annie, it's gonna be the last
you're awesome and everyone by this book How to Human.
It's coming out tomorrow. We'll buy it. We're gonna get
this podcast next week, so it'll be out. So get
the book. That's right, Thanks Caroline, thank you so much.
Bye bye
Host
Caroline Hobby
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