May 8, 2024 • 50 mins
Stories from Austin continue as Lunchbox realizes he forgot two of the most memorable stories from the entire weekend. Pedi cab driver + a random girl = a great story that deserves a play by play breakdown. Plus Lunchbox found himself in the middle of a party in the bathroom that was very interesting and we bring back how did you sleep last night. Ray gives his review of the Tom Brady Roast and Arnold is back from IHeartCountry.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yop yo. Yeah, you're live. Oh, let's go, man. Right,
I don't have my headphones on, but you're talking.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Okay, I am talking. We are here. Let's go. Co
ed soccer gonna be canceling. The night storms are rolling in.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Power's out. What at the crib, dude? I got bodies
of water I've never seen before. I got a river
a lake in my yard. So it happens, and you
got property. Oh no, power's gone too. Beziers said, it's trouble.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
That's not good. Are you heading over to the in laws?
You're heading to brother Pitts's house? What are you doing?
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Man, I don't know. It's one of those.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
We're gonna camp out here at the station.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Temperature stays fine, Michigan is where the problem is, because
then it gets cold as hell and you got to
start fires inside with candles and shit. It's fine this
temperature time of the year. The only thing is this
stuff in the fridge. So but just don't open the fridge, right, yeah?
How long is that good? For?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Like twelve hours?
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Really? Yeah? All right, no problem.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Oh you're good, don't even worry about it. Let's go, man.
I mean, I got stories upon stories to tell you.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Yeah, Arnold, is your power out? I don't know. I
didn't pay the bill a month ago. Okay, Well, I
mean that's an actual different issue. So it's been out before. Yeah,
it's been out for a week. Okay, Well that's not
storm related, dumbas.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
How do you live there with no power?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Are you used to work? Shitter? Okay?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
And what about cooking?
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Are you McDonald's all right, that's good, Get in here,
do this with me. Man, We're gonna do it live.
Oh the one too, sore losers? What up?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Everybody? I am lunchbox. I know the most about sports,
so I'll give you the sports facts, my sports opinions,
because I'm pretty much a sports genius.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Yeah, it's season. I'm in Alpha male. I live on
the north side of Nashville with Bayser, my wife. It
is now a peninsula surrounded by water on three sides.
We do have farmland, ranchland, a white picket fence, I believe,
unless it's underwater right now. And the Michigan is known
for Evan Holmes, the Great Lakes here on Ontario, Michigan
(01:57):
Eerie Superior. Now Nashville is guys. We got water for
three days over to you lunch.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Yeah, I mean, do you want to start with how
you slept last night? Because I'll tell you how I
slept last night. Ray, how did you sleep last night?
I'm exhausted, man, Like, god, awful sleep last night. Because
my five year old baby Box was like I go
to pick him up from school and he's like, oh,
my stomach hurts. My stomach hurts. And I'm like, you
(02:28):
want to play the chase game? Because he always wants
to play the chase game on the playground when I
pick him up, where I chase him around him and
his brothers and they run up and down we played
chase game. He's like, I don't want to play a
chase game. I was like, okay, so maybe he really
doesn't feel good. So we go home and he lays
on the couch. Me and the other two we go
for a walk. We go swing. Some person in their
(02:48):
front yard has a swing hanging from a tree, so
we jump on that swing. No, we don't know him.
It's just a swing hanging in the tree. And I'm like,
if it's there, it's there to be.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Used, right. Is it a bigger property or can the
guy see you from his front door?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
We're about eight steps from his front door. Dog peeks
out the window. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Sometimes you know what friendly neighborhood who cares when wealth
is all over Ray, he's got a money tree as well.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
So then we, you know, continue walking and we're looking
for cicada shells. And then we walk by a neighbor's
house that we know and they are getting home and
they get out of the car and say hi. So
then we go in their backyard for a little while.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Play going Sarah, can we come over? And her name
was actually Sarah, popular name in Nashville.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
We dug in the dirt, hung out there for about
thirty forty five minutes.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
There you get a little dirty, take your shirt off
if it's got mud on it.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Oh okay, I that's not how it went.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Her husband was standing right there. Her husband was standing
right there. There you go mud to the face. Ah,
you're all dirty, get naked.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
You want to mud rose? She did ask me if
I want a mud wrestle on the woes. So we
go back home. It's time to eat dinner. We eat dinner,
and my five year old's like, oh, I don't think
I'm gonna eat. My stomach hurts, But then he eats
a ton of apple sauce, he eats bell peppers, he
eats some tortillas.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
What kind of meal is that? American?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
No, no, no, we gave him apple sauce because his
tummy hurt. The meal was like we were making tacos.
You had chicken seasoned with some bell pepper, some cheese.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Go Tuesday, Lebron, dude, Yeah, I didn't even think about that.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Maybe it was taco Tuesday. So we did that, and
he starts eating and eats a lot, and then he's
on the couch and he's in a good mood, laughing
and joking and playing and dicking around. And then I
give the other two bass because they're filthy.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
This isn't even about how you slept.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Oh no, we're getting there. Continue and then it's time
to go to bed, and I'm like, all right, let's
throw off the TV. And that's when he.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
My tombmage carts.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
The whole night he was fine, no, no, no, night, the
whole night he was fine.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
But once I say turn off the TV, Oh, I
can't have my hurt so much. My some hurt so much. Dude, listen,
you guys so much. Your routine is crazier in that
Twisters movie that's coming out again. It's coming out very
soon this summer. Shameless pluck.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
I'm like, dude, you were fine until I said turn
off the TV. So we go downstairs. He brushes teeth,
he does this, does that?
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Ted?
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Why don't you want to do stories? My stomach girls
too much? I just want to get in bed. I
don't he want to do stories? Okay, you don't have
to do stories. And then he gets in his bet. Actually,
will you read me a story? We read me a
story every night.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
We're rocking the books. Oh we rock books every night, dude. Right.
It's called educating America's youth.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
It's called teaching them how to read, teach them how
to love, flipping the pages, all that, learning their vocabulary everything.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
My hat, the cat goes up the cat.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Oh. Another good? A good one is Fred and Ted.
I don't know if you've had read that one.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Sounds like two guys off pass.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
It is two guys. They're two friends and they go
on a trip. Fred Rare's green, Ted Rare's red. I
think that's right.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
You ever read them Stanley the Dog?
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Yeah, they do. Like Stanley the Dog. We've read that
we read.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Shadeless Plug, Bobby Bone's written book at bet New York's
Times bestseller, Fox and Socks.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
We've read that. I mean we read a lot of them.
We read up.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
He grabbed the wife's romance novel, read a couple of
pages accidentally.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
No, and I don't. And her bosoms were popping out
of her shirt, and my kids against his No, that
what is bosoms? And what do you mean they were?
They were popping out of her and the set the
sweat was perspiring down her face. And no, we don't
read any of that.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
He thought that the pants would be strong enough, but
the tent was indeed pitched.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Dad, what do you mean he has a tent in
his pants? Uh? Never mind?
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Kids.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
So then it's like, all right, lights out, and he's
already My stomach, my stomach that sounds like spakon And
I'm like, Bud, do you have to go poop?
Speaker 1 (07:05):
No? Take my temperture debt, take my timpsture. I got it.
I'm sick.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
I'm sick. Temperature ninety eight five, you're fine.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Yeah, it's a band. They were great. What ninety eight degrees? Oh?
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Good call.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yeah, that's how you know when your temperature is good.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
I didn't realize it. Yeah, so anyway, why we're up watching.
I'm watching the game between the Thunder and the MAVs.
I had to go in his room three four times.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
This a thunder game on the TV or outside, and
the whole time, Oh, my stomach, I need to take
my shirt off. Honey, I'm watching the Thunder.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
I can't sleep. Oh my blanket. Oh, I'm like, Bud,
you are wasting all right. Here's a cup of water.
Here's a cup of water. Drink this when you're your
throat hurt.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
He gave him two cups of water, no one, and
he's just like freaking out. Gave him a six bag
of water and.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Finally he falls asleep. And then I go to bed.
Eleven fifteen, Oo.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad? Like what what I think I'm
gonna throw up? I think I'm gona throw up?
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Go in the bathroom, doesn't throw up, gets back in bed.
Cool twelve oh five am?
Speaker 1 (08:28):
What but what but my stomach? My stomach? Oh it hurts,
it hurts, it hurts. Do you need to go poop?
Speaker 2 (08:33):
No? Okay, go back to bed. Nine night, Dad, I
love you, love you? Cool one am, don't love you.
One am, Dad, Dad, he's not here.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Uh. He left. He's on vacation. He went to Austin, Briheart.
He's at the bar.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
And I say, all right, let's go in the bathroom. Okay, Dad,
I don't think I could throw up. I'm gonna go
back to bed.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
One twenty five Dad, and I wake come, Why honey, honey,
you've got to go. I can't do it.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
I don't want it.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
This will be my fourth time waking up and it's
only one twenty five in the morning. Whatever. And she's like,
oh what, okay, I'll go down there. She comes, she
comes back up twenty minutes there. I was like, do
you throw up?
Speaker 1 (09:23):
No?
Speaker 2 (09:23):
But I made him sit on the toilet, but he
didn't poop, all right, cool, So she left him. Yeah,
she put him back in bed. Two fifteen. This is
my fourth time going in there.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Dude. I'm sorry. That kid's got some sort of warm
in his stomach. And I told him.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
I went down there. I said, listen, you better slip boy.
I said, you're either gonna throw up or you're gonna poop.
And this is the last time I'm coming in here.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
I'm about show you how to do both of them.
This is it.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
You're gonna sit on that pot and you're gonna force
the poop out of your butt because that's the problem.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
So he sits there.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
And he's ripping, ripping, farts ripping him and he gets
two little pieces of poop out, and he goes, all right, Dad,
I'm done. I said, now, this is it. I'm not
coming back in here. He says, Okay, go to bed.
Three o'clock and I wake up my wife again. I said, listen,
(10:24):
I've been down there four times. I'm not going to fifth.
It's your shirn. So she went down there.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Way to keep count though in and out of sleep.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Impressive, dude, six wake ups I had to deal with
last night. That is how I slept.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Ray, I think we're gonna jump. We didn't even get
to go into mind. Hey, he took he.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Never threw up. He had two little pieces of poop.
And my wife texted me this morning and said, oh,
he says he's feeling so much better. Yeah, lovely, we
gotta go to break so I'm gonna take a nap
and we'll be right back.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Wait, am I gonna tell how I slept?
Speaker 2 (10:55):
How'd you sleep.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Thanks. Yeah, so you can tell me how you slept. Man, Yeah,
you took the entire ninety nine percentile of that segment.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
But do you understand why because it was a rough night.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
I think I slept great, dude, went to bed eight o'clock,
a little bit later than usual. Slept fine. It was
sleeplesses mean, you're awake. What's the opposite of that? It
was asleep? Sleep filled? Coach. I want to tell you this.
Have you ever considered reconstructing your sleep schedule? What if
you were to sleep during the day more, you front
(11:35):
load your hours of sleep and then with the kids,
then you're spotty. You're what it's called is uh pull Uh,
there's a term. It's uh. I'm thinking of polygamy. But
it's not that. It's not polyphasic.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
No, I don't know what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
I mean, you never leave it, sleep on and off again.
It's not just one continuous sleep. So you would sleep
an hour, you'd stay up with the kids for a
little while, you sleep another hour. But you can build
that to that by sleeping a chunk. You're lying, Sherry,
your sleep needs to be in the afternoon.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
I understand what you're saying, but usually here's the crazy part.
We usually get good nights to sleep. It's just these
last few weeks have been terrible.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
The episodes have been or your sleep is what you've said. Yeah, okay,
not the episodes.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Not the episodes. So I will have a talk with
my five year old today and be like, listen, man, tonight,
don't call me down here, don't call me, don't yell
for me. Sleep through the night. If you wake up,
just go back to sleep.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
These are the conversations they are going to remember.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Because I need to get my sleep.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
That they don't remember fun dad at two playing basketball.
They are going to remember Dad being a dick.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
They are gonna remember Dad, like I even told them
last night. I said, listen, man, I'm sorry to be
so rude, but I need to get some sleep. And
you call me down here every ten minutes is ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
But then my.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Wife just sent me a cool picture and said that
he built a tent and put a lot of toys
inside of it.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Wait a second, so the kids ain't at preschool. No,
he stayed home because his stomacher rather than daycare. Yeah,
oh so no perfect attendance. He already lost that in,
uh be his life even started.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
I will guarantee you this, My kid will not be
one of those kids on the news that is graduating
high school with perfect attendants. I'll guarantee that, dude.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
I would love to look those people up. I don't
think they're that successful. Doubt it. This one, Abbey, I
can't remember her any of her last name to look
her up. Are you talking about Miabby? No, Nola Arnold,
not her. It was a chicken Wyoming and I went
to school with her. She was perfect attendance, miss runner perfect.
Actually she stayed physically fit, she ran, so she probably
is actually a pretty good job. She's probably a lawyer
(13:44):
or something. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
And then I listened to the podcast back on Monday,
and I realized I missed two of the best stories
of the weekend.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yeah, how bored were you? I gotta commute that. I
can always push it off on. If you're saying that
you listening to your own voice is more interesting than
anything in your life. No, it's not only selfish and
not only conceded, but that is say you have got
nothing going on.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
I started thinking, like, man, did I can give too
much detail about Austin that I go step by step?
Did I bore the people I wanted to listen?
Speaker 1 (14:18):
We have some more info from Austin. So I have
two more stories from Austin man whoa still coming out
due you. You're never gonna hear all the the good
goss right away. Usually it's this, the this, the that.
But I'm telling you it's days later when you start
the drunken memories, you start organizing in your head.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
The trickle down effect. And I forgot that on Friday night.
We were leaving the drift Wood and we were on
the corner of Fourth and something, and we were gonna
get a car because we're gonna go to another bar.
And that's when the petty the petty cabs situation took
place that I have never seen before.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Petty cabs Austin, big damn deal. Nashville not so much.
I don't even think there's one.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
I don't understand why, though.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Yeah, we just come up. Oh my god, if you
guys don't just come up with a business.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
If you don't know what petty caps are, they are
they have seats attached to the back of a bike
and the biker, you know, pedals and you sit in
the seat and you get a ride to wherever you're going,
and they work off.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Tips and ATX they are rampant.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
They're everywhere everywhere. So we come out and we call
for a car because we're going to go to the
next bar that's like two miles away. And as we're
sitting there, there's a petty cap sitting there and the
dude's just sitting on his bike. You know, wait, who
needs a ride? Who needs a ride? Who needs a ride?
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Where are you guys going?
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Need a ride?
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Where you guys going?
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Is? Is anybody answering him?
Speaker 2 (15:42):
No, we're good man waiting on a car. And he's
got little biker shorts on, you know, like short shorts,
a T shirt. He's all sweaty and gross.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
They always are.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
I mean, it is human. And he's been obviously working
because it's twelve thirty, so he's been sweating his balls
off all night and here comes this drunk ash chick.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
But I mean maybe that's what they live for. You
always wonder that one thing to keep somebody a job.
He's got a hotty with the upskirt for a two
mile ride. And so I did say that I wasn't
thinking that.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
I don't know he She climbs up in the seat
and he looks back over his left shoulder and goes
where to and she pats the seat.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Well, you're going back to his place, and.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
We're like what She goes pats it again.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Still don't know what you're saying, lady.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
So he climbs off the seat and sits down.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
With her at his own petticab, in his.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Own petticap, and they're just sitting there a park next
to the curb.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
You ain't got no boss, You.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Got no boss, you got no time card, you got
nowhere to be.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
What do you do next? Jay? So they're just sitting there.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
She puts her arm around him, and they're just kind
of talking. Then she stands up.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Well, she was actually happy. They were having more fun
than us, Ray.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
And she starts twarking on him, twarking on him on
six no on fourth and something right outside of Driftwood.
That's six coach, it might as well be six okay,
And our uber gets there. We're like, cancel ride. We
gotta watch this. We got we got we gotta see
how this developed.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
What you call alternate transportation. You guys need a third.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
We're sitting there going, how is this possible? Like, what
is going on?
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Dude? The wild things come out after midday. It was hilarious.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
I mean, she just walks up, sits in the Betty
Captains dude is sweaty, gross, he's just working and she
and he climbs back there and she's twirking on him,
tworking on him, twirking, and then she sits back down
and starts smooching on him, and we were like, what
(17:45):
the dude?
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Like I called it the one thing that keeps those
people in those jobs. That's it.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
You saw it, Like this girl that's just like he's
just sitting here. We're trying to get a ride and
alls on. This chick's like, let's go.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Chicks into Austin are very attractive. What is she in Austin?
What Like in Austin seven is amazing Other parts of
the world, I mean, it's.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
I'd say six and a half. Isn't she got a
tight dress?
Speaker 1 (18:07):
I mean in any city in America that's a nine,
it's a black dress. Like Austin six is a Hawaii ten.
Uh knockers probably lower d range. Austin six is of
Michigan nine and a half, and so.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
I'm like, wow, okay. So then they kiss for a
little bit and then she gets up and she's like.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Is that still?
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Then she sits down on the seat, the bike seat,
and leans forward and grabs the handles bike handle No,
not driving, she's not peddling. And then she's just bouncing
up and down on the seat, bounced up and down
on the seat, and she's like just laid out like
her her Her knockers are on the metal bar that
(18:59):
goes from the seat to the handlebars, and she's just
bah bah.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
She's taking him for a ride, but that bike ain't moving,
and this dude is.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Just posted up in his own petty cab, like huh
is this really what's about to happen?
Speaker 1 (19:14):
And we're all going, dude, are they about to hook up?
Are they about to hook up? It's like you you
didn't say that me?
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Oh it's me Ryan, Scuba and Eddie and we're like yeah,
who this is unbelievable.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Eat or eat And it wasn't abby, was it not?
Wasn't that I missed my flight? Get back off, Arnold,
calm down, and we're like, wow, where is it? Hey?
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Where is this girl's friends?
Speaker 1 (19:45):
B does that guy have a Jimmy or do you
guys need to hand him.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
One b I don't have Jimmy's anymore. I'm married, guys,
I has dust on it. Yes, I don't need jimmies.
I have a wife.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
You pull it out. This might be from two thousand
and eight, but hey, you can use it if you
want the XP two thousand and eight boys.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
I mean it's about to be his busy time, because
it's about to get busy when the bars are letting out.
That's when he's gonna make all his money.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Yeah, but I mean, this is one of those nights, man,
and she just gotta put off work.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
She crawls back to the back, sits on his lap,
goes over the bins are backwards over the left shoulder,
and he's making out like his head is up on
top of hers. Hers is down, she's looking up, his
face is coming down on hers, and they're just mugging.
And then, are you guys in a bush or you're
just down there? We're just standing on the straight corner.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Man.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Are you faking like you're looking at other stuff? Or
they're in their own world? Man, they don't even know
we exist. We are We have had a lot of
drinks at this point, and we're just I mean, we
canceled our Uber to watch the transaction unfold to see
what was gonna happen. R Dudey're gonna they're gonna look up,
they're going home together.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Hey, And sometimes the reason you just stay out after
midnight is not so you're tired that I it's because
you're gonna see something you've never seen before.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
And Ryan is disgusted at this point. Ryan goes, Dude,
that dude he has sweaty ass balls. How gross is
that gonna be?
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Wait? He swings different though, right, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
He likes dudes. But he's like, that dude has been
pedaling the bike around Austin. Do you know how gross
he is? He has to smell so bad and then
down there it has to stink. And I'm like, this
is not the point of the story, Ryan, The point
is what's going on in that petticap. This is a
random connection. And then finally he goes, should we leave?
(21:37):
And she goes two thumbs up. He jumps on the
bike seat and they pedal away.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
How do you know where she was going? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
I don't know if they were going to drop off
his petty cab wherever the hell the pettica And then
that's what Ryan said. He goes, you know, he has
to petty that pedal cab, that thing like three miles
away to the garage. That's a long way. But I
was like, she didn't seem to care. They hooked up,
for sure.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
But I mean not, I mean they were dry.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Humping, dry humping. But dude, she just came out of
a bar, found this petty cab and goes and the
dude climbed back there.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Oh. I heard the story.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
It was incredible. I was like, Bravo, bravo for this
petty cab dude.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
That's Austin, Texas in a nutshell. It was fantastic, And
I damn I missed that city.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
I listened back to the pod on Monday, and I'm like,
how did I forget that story?
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Yeah, you can't tell that on the Big Show. No,
hey bones, My best experience was sawing a girl dry
hump a dude on a petty cab bike right outside
of six Uh. Over to you, Amy, what was your
best memory of iHeart.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Huh yeah, man. I even kidceled my uber because I
wanted to see what was gonna happen, like where her
girlfriend is gonna come out.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Of the bar and be like, hey girl, what are
you doing.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
You're making out with some sweaty, nasty dude.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
But you never know, dude, beer goggles. She could have
saw him though, with the sweat and everything. He looked
like the most jack dude in the vicinity.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
It could be or she just thought it was some
guy she was making out with in the bar and
he was waiting outside. She didn't realize he'd been sweating
all night, like, hadn't put deodorant on, didn't have any
you know whatever done in a house. He sleeps on
the petticab. It was fantastic.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
I don't know, dude, you ever been you ever actually
had a friend that was a petticab dude? No, there
was the one this show we watch, so I mean
our perception of him as they're homeless and they live
on couches. Dude, this dude was a petticab driver and
in Charleston on a show we watch, Southern Hospitality almost
she had fifty and dude, he was dating the hottest
(23:32):
DJ night girl hostess in the club. Really and he
was a petty cab driver. So but yeah, we might
want to look into that for Nashville. Yeah, yeah, uh yeah,
let's keep that business idea on the DL. I mean
for real though, I'm being dead serious, just like you
were serious about Coaches Convention and we thought you were kidding,
and now we've had it three years in a row.
(23:53):
This would be a decent business. We have the bikes,
we hire the drivers. One of us would have to
stay up late though, and watch these guys. Make sure
that they're not grinding on our bikes.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Oh yeah, we gotta make sure that chicks aren't just
getting in and porking.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Coach.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
We're gonna get in them on Monday morning. There's gonna
be more grease than just the gear shafts.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
And if someone's filling drink that it's awful sticky.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
All these bikes ain't gonna last through June.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Hey, guys, we thought we said no drinking in the Petticount.
No I want to drink, man.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Okay, man's did someone have some ranch in here?
Speaker 2 (24:33):
It's kind of white? No, it ain't ran.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Oh man, that's one of those glizzies. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Now let's take a break and I'm gonna come back
and I'm gonna tell you about the man. Maybe this
is the best story from Austin that's about to come up.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
I don't know if it can top the last one. Yeah,
because right now that story tops everything I've heard the past.
I don't know. Ten days on the show, nobody gave
a good recap of nitty gritty details. I don't need
to hear Al Dean try that in a small town.
I need to hear what happened backstage. And that was backstage.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
Well this one was not backstage, but it was in
the bathroom. Tell you right after this.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
You're getting good at these teases. That might have been
your best one yet, Ray, And this is the rest.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Saturday night after the show. Last year we had the
pettycab ride of the century going to the bars Me
for Me Chess Day, Ryan, Greg, Garrett, Jacob. We almost
died about three times getting hit by cars. Our petty
crab drivers were nuts.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
This year.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
I don't know how Ryan did it, but he lined
up a car, he got a car right, we walked out.
He found a drivers like, hey take us this bar.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
Yeah, it's called uber Lyft and Earth right correct.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
But we get to the bar, we get our drinks,
we get our picnic table, and I'm like, man, I
gotta go piss, man, I gotta piss. So I go
into the bathroom and you walk in the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Yeah, Rainy Street, I get it. They're all picnic tables outdoors.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Not Rainy Street. It's gonna be East sixth, on the
other side of thirty five, so way East sixth. And
it was called Whistler. I think it's called whistle And
I walk in, and straight ahead it's two urinals. To
the right is the sink, and right next to the
two urinals is the one toilet that has a wall
(26:30):
around it.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Okay, okay, So I video this story.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
I don't know if you want a video it. I
don't care if you want to video it. I'm just
gonna tell you what happened.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Would you start it over? Though, you gotta start okay?
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Rewind. So I walk into the bathroom, and if you
walk in straight ahead, you've never heard this before. There
are two urine holes. And then on the right is
the sink. When you right when you walk in. Oh,
and right next to the urinals is the one enclosed toilet.
If you need to take a dump, fascinating. So I'm
standing in line, and there's a line, okay, because it's
(27:11):
there's only three toilets and there's a lot of dudes
at this bar. Maybe there was another bathroom somewhere else
in the bar.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
I didn't know.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Where it was.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
It's the Whistler though.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Whistler, I believe it was called. It was on the
east side of thirty five. And so I'm waiting in line,
waiting in line, and then there's two people left in
front of me, and there's a guy at the left
urn urinal and a guy at the right urinal.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Hey, brother, how's he going?
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Man?
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Good night, buddy. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
And I look at the guy at the right urinal
and he's doing a little.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Oh dude, Axin's been terrible in Nashville.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Too, right there at the urinal.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
It sucks. You got to blow your nose. It works. No, no, no,
it was. It was definitely blow.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
But he wasn't blowing his nose, so I'm telling you
it's out. He was getting a little sugar up the nose.
And he turns around and he still had his pants
wide open.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
You saw it.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
No, he had his underwear, but he had an unbuttoned
unzipped belt flopped, you know, like the two wings.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
What street were you guys on? We were on.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Sixth Street West. And he goes, oh, and he kind
of wipes his nose, you know what I mean. And
he doesn't realize his pants are still just open, and
he goes over to the sink. And first of all,
I'm like, who the hell, how disgusting to do it
right on the urinal. That's pretty nasty, right, Yeah. Then
(28:30):
he goes over to the sink to wash his hands.
I guess still got the pants wide open.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Well, you're following him pretty closely well, because.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
I'm wondering if he's just gonna walk out with his
pants open into the bar.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
He goes over to the.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Sink, starts washing his hands, and then he has like
a little container and he looks over his right shoulder
and make sure no one's looking, dips his finger in it.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Oh salt shaker, sticks it in his mouth. We're good, dude,
Sometimes people with that beer salt. It kind of helps
him that throwing it.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
It wasn't beer salt, but he stuck it right in
his mouth just to make sure he was good.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Might have been a zinner dude, Hey, he got his
inner tony for me. I need to sober up.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
And then he wipes his pointer finger on his pants
because he's got he already put in his mouth, dry
it off. Still got the pants wide open, I mean
the underwear, the zipper down, fly open belt, loop belt
just flopping out. He goes to walk out. His chick
is just waiting for him, and he walks out and
(29:32):
she goes your pants. He's like, oh, oh.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
You're in the background. Hey, your pants too. I saw it.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Yeah, your pants and your coke. And then I got
me thinking, does she know he's doing the the powder?
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Sadly, if he's doing the bathroom, he's avoiding management, but
maybe also his girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Because she had a drink waiting for him. She handed
him the drink he already had to drink in the bathroom.
He had he had the rocket fuel already. Sweet, he
didn't need nothing else. He needed no other items. And
I'll tell you this is a little frat du you know,
like a twenty one year old frat dude got the
floppy hair and had his polo and the jeet, and
so he gets out there, he's like, oh, He hands
(30:10):
the drink back to his girling, fixes his pants and
then they go over and he gets some water. I
saw him get some water. Then they went and had
a good night. I guess young love man. I was like,
damn this dude, it's been a while since I've been out.
But he was not shy about it, and he was
so messed up he forgot about his pants.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Yeah, I mean, that's confident dude. Man.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
So nothing like a little coke in the bathroom on
a Friday Saturday.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Night, you know, Arnold. I mean, whenever he leaves the bathroom,
he makes sure five times is zipped. That'd be an
embarrassment if he walked out.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Yeah, but I figure if you're gonna if you're gonna
do that, you're gonna go at least the stall that
no one can see you, right.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
Yeah, I mean I think you're breaking it down too much.
All I heard was it sounded like a little bit
of beer salt and also a salt shaker. Allergies are
maybe a little sour cream and on the way out
of zinner to sober up a little bit, Yeah, a
little bit of under the tongue like oh yeah, yeah, okay,
that's what just went up my nose.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
That was. My question is if he just did it
up the nose, why did he stick his finger in
it and do it right in the under the tongue.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Yeah, it don't make no sense.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
So that was a cocaine in the bathroom man.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Also, that was a pretty good police investigation.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Dude, that's pretty good. I could have busted him right
there if I wanted to, but I'm not that guy.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Yeah, but I'm saying you didn't. Do You know how
many different substances are colored white? Uh no, powdered sugar, sugar, salt, beer, salt,
zen pac paint, coloring, crans, what else? Snow, cotton, oh, snow,
forgot about snow? Allstrine, strip mint, gom a mints a mint.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Oh so that's probably all that.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
I just named twenty of them.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Okay, Well, there you go. That was my story about
cocaine in the bathroom man.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
That was it.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
And then I got a call Sunday night from the hotel,
right and they said.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Hello, yes, yes, uh this is this is uh, this
is Gibbles.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
I'm like hello, They're like, oh, yes, sir, I just
want to inform you that checkout was at eleven and
we were wondering if you were gonna still you're gonna
check out today?
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Yeah, yeah, I plan on it. I mean I don't
live here, I live in a different city.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
This was at nine o'clock at night. What And I'm like,
I'm gone, I've been gone, And they said, oh, you
still have your privacy hanger on the door, so we
hadn't gone in the room yet.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
Of a very private person, I'm like, seriously, guys, just
going go in the room. Man knock a couple of times.
If anybody answered, You're good, Hello.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
Are you in there, They're like, oh, we just wanted
to make sure because it said privacy and we kept
walking by, but we're already done cleaning that floor, and
we just wanted to make sure that you were going
to get out today. And I was like, I've been
out since ten o'clock this morning. I'm like, oh, well,
next time, can you just kindly take that privacy sign
off the door?
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Dude, Dominican Republic, you got to put about three of
those on the door because they're trying to get the
rooms done. They want to turn over. They'll come in.
It doesn't matter if you're changing shower, and they'll come
in and start cleaning. If you don't have.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
About hey me, I actually leave the privacy thing on it.
It's like, oh my god, we can't go near that.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Nor thank you for the privacy. I've never seen that
kind of surface. That was incredible. Privately, don't even reside
anymore in that room.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
I mean I got the call and I was like hello,
and they're like, oh, yeah, this is so and so
with the Fairmount or Fairmount whatever it's called.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
And I'm like, yeah, there, how are you doing this evening, sir?
Speaker 2 (33:29):
I'm doing great?
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Thank you?
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Oh yes, we were just wondering if you still planned
on checking out today because check out was at eleven am.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Well, let's see. I checked out. Then I rode anew Ber,
I got to the airport, I went through TSA, I
got on the plane. I actually landed the plane. My
wife picked me up. I'm back at the house now,
in the privacy of my own home. I've been gone
from there for about eleven hours. Yeah, go in the
fucking room. I also went to a t ball game.
I went to my parents' house, who had no food
for me, even though I hadn't eaten breakfast. I saw
(33:57):
my brother, I saw my sister in law. I saw
my nephew. I went to my two nephews the twin
nephews t ball game. I ran around the track with
my niece. We had snow cones in the parking lot.
My dad dropped me off at the airport. I got
on the plane. I flew two hours home. I got
my car.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
And you guys have been just now going into my room,
just now going in the room.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
Guys, you could have another family in there by Now.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
You guys gonna solved that thing you told a family.
You kept turning guests away. No, sorry, no vacancy. You
had vacancy. Man, that room was wide open.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Dude, is the worst man? Actually mean it's the best.
They're awes. They do good, they do.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
I mean, how but how nice of them to just
let me stay in there.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
It's always like you never have it your way, you know.
Sometimes you want the privacy. They're beating down the door
you're supposed to check out. Sometimes you My wife loves
the privacy. I never get the towels changed. It can't win.
I had something else to say, and then I just
I never.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Get them to clean my room. While I'm there. I
leave that privacy sign on there.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
Then you need to live with my wife because dude,
she'll do it on vacation. And I'm like, sweetie, I
don't know how else to explain this to you. We
need clean towels. Take the damn privacy things down. We
cannot go untrashed and unnew toweled for an entire week
on vacation. I we have to let them in, get
rid of it. She hates when they come in our
rooms on vacation, and I love it, dude. They can
(35:13):
come in five times while I'm there because I want
constant new towels. They're taking plates and we got room service. Dude, baser,
complete opposite. She never wants them coming in.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
My wife wants them to clean. She wants it everyga.
Then that's the thing we need to swap, wife swap.
That's a good TV show. Let's write it.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
Down strictly only for the privacy side.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
It's so weird. I'm just like, I don't need them
to come in here every day because then I feel
pressure of getting up and getting out. And when we're
checking out, my wife's always like, we gotta go checkouts
at eleven, checkouts at eleven. We gotta go, we gotta
go I'm like, do you think they're really gonna knock
on our door right at eleven? Out of all the intel,
(35:50):
all the rooms in the hotel, they're gonna be at
our door at eleven. And usually if you're in the
middle of the hallway, that's when you're golden. You're not
it because they usually start at one in and go
to the other. So if you're in the middle, you
got hours to chill. As I found out this time,
just leave the privacy sign on. But there has been
a couple times right at eleven there.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Uh yes, uh, are you guys almost out? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Be right out.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Sorry, you can buy thirty minute, but you can buy
an hour.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
You can chill. Just relax, no stress. Express that puts
a bow on the trip to Austin.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
The max is about an hour and a half. You
can buy me and South Beach did it. Then they
started to get how freaked out were you? I was
very but we were still just chilling because our flight
was a weird time. This is ten years ago. But
South Beach knows that you can push it, push it,
push it, and then the clean lady goes, I am
going to have to call a supervisor and inform them
that you guys have not left your room, if you
please don't leave right now. We're like, okay, all right,
(36:45):
that sounds like a fine.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
Yeah, speaking of We'll be right back and I'm gonna
tell you about how my kid is just like me,
and I don't know if that's a good thing or
a bad thing.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
Right after this, this is your final segment. Man, I
got to get home.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Our partnership with the Preds came to an end.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
When they lost in the playoffs.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Yeah, exactly, they lost in the playoffs. Man, they lost.
But that's okay.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
Because I told brother that, but nobody listens to.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
Uh. They played on Friday night, correct, Yeah, So my
five year old is a diehard fan. He isn't very
into sports, he is very into watching games whim and
so he watched the first two periods on Friday night,
and then it was bedtime, so my wife put him
to bed, and they won. She recorded the third period
(37:40):
for him, and so the next morning, that's the first
thing he wants to do when he wakes up is
watch the Pred's third period and then they lost. She
should have delleted it, no, because he would have known. Well, no,
because he knows that it's the playoffs.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
Alright, hadn't won yet in a minute and one home game.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
He knows that if they lose, it's the last game
of the season, that they have no more games.
Speaker 1 (38:07):
He already understands the series, the seven games. Yeah, I
explained it to him. We talk about it two three
and four, five, six, seven. So Ray.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
After the final horn sounded and they lost, dude balled
his eyes out for fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
I'm sorry, I know, funny, that's great, dude. He wait
in the morning.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
In the morning, the game was already over the night before,
but he didn't know that. He watched the third period
on Saturday morning, and when the final horn sounded, he
cried for fifteen minutes straight.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
My wife said, we're gonna go to Preds games together
in the future.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
It is like those kids in March Madness when the
camera zooms in on them because their team is losing,
you know, in the crowd. My kid feels the pain
of a Predator lost the end of the season. He
is like me. He cried and cried and cried.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
Were you there? No? Oh, I was gonna say, why
is your wife sending you a picture? In the same run.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
She was like, he wanted to watch the end of
the Prebs game. This is the result.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
Coach. You gotta show him a different third period and
tell him the rest of the season got canceled. It's
not worth it for a kid to go through that heartbreak.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
I mean, I didn't know he was good. Dude, We've
had some didn't.
Speaker 1 (39:26):
You tell him COVID hit again? Mask. Hey guys, I've
met a job interview for my wife. Sorry, I can't
come to see him a fez.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
Because then he'll want Then he sees other teams playing,
and so now he went, we got to pick another
team who we're going to cheer for, and he doesn't
know who to cheer for.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
Pick the Oilers in the West, Rangers and the Ease. Well.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
I was ready to put the Dallas Stars in the
hoisting the cup last night, dude. They beat the Vegas
gold Knights in there up three to nothing after one
last night. I just saw it. On the bottom line,
I'm like, damn, maybe they are really good. They're going
the Stanley Cup.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
I won the damn Division all year.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
I woke up this morning they lost four to three. Yeah,
I had no idea.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
Sometimes those goals coming clusters.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
Yeah. But so my kid, he is okay, he has recovered,
he has He may be cheering for the Canucks now
I'm not sure. He has not decided on a team,
but he will be picking a new team and then
when they lose, he will have heartbreak and we'll have tears.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
Again, it's hockey talk. Since we're taking this moment hockey talk.
The I posted a video on our Instagram. It was
us behind the net. One of the Bruins was drilling,
slapping the ship out of the puck hitting the glass
and we all yelled. I had about thirty of those videos,
great videos of the Bruins, and I was thinking, as
they progress in the playoffs, put him, we keep riding
(40:41):
that train, keep riding that train. Just one problem. So
a couple of weeks ago, the phone was out of storage,
so I deleted them. So unless yeah, so we have
one video, that one where that guy slapped just he
just slayed straight up. Dick slaps it man, where we're yelling,
you know, and there's and you do your little girl
screen and then I have the picture of you and
(41:02):
me both together. Other than that, we don't have any footage.
But wouldn't. That would have been good, man, if we
were able to use that footage stuff. Yeah. These iPhones
they don't make them for video producers, they don't. This
thing has the storage of a freaking mini porn dude,
a short film. I don't Yeah, whatever, I mean, Uh,
(41:23):
can we discuss something your kid like you? Because you
guys both cry over?
Speaker 2 (41:27):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're so into it, very hardcore.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Have you seen the Brady Roast? This is segue? Oh?
Can I tell you, man, Ray, that wasn't a segue.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
I watched the first forty minutes of it so far. Dude,
he looks so uncomfortable, definitely when they make some of
those jokes and he tries that like he's laughing and
he just kind of half smiled, and and he grabs
a drink and he kind of like toasts like, ha ha,
this is so funny.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
Ha ha. What the dude?
Speaker 2 (41:55):
It is brutal.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
It's brutal, and it's good that they got the star
hour they did. That's and I Dave Portnoyd rated it
an A plus. One of my buddies text me and said,
he's the Fort Lauderdal guy. He goes it's the best thing.
I've ever seen you guys. Got it this how he
talks you guys gotta watch it. It's so funny, it's
I've laughed my ass off for two straight hours. I
give it a solid B A plus.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
He watched the whole thing.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
I watched past Nicki Glazer, Nicki Lazier killed it.
Speaker 2 (42:21):
I watched it until Nicki Glazer was about to come on,
so I watched Drew bledsoe.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
That's it. I know, great, great, he goes, he goes,
some people drink after they get depressed the news. He goes,
I opened the winery.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
And he goes, and he goes, you know, I have wine,
and here's Tom Brady's wine.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
Where's the flag? Where's the flag?
Speaker 2 (42:41):
He goes? And Tom, you know, you may have all
those Super Bowl rings, and he may have all the accolades,
but I have two things that you'll never have. What
it feels like to go number one overall in the
NFL draft, and by Anniverse shoes. That was yesterday. I
mean hilarious.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
They went hard. But I guess the Brady, the talent
or whatever gives them permission to go as hard as you.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
I understand that, But why I am trying to I
guess he got paid like thirty million dollars or something.
Speaker 1 (43:14):
But that and then also, dude, once you reach such
a high celebrity fame greatness, you're like, bring it, I
don't give a shit your goat. That's when you know
you're a goat when you can let when they have
that much to rip into you on and you have
so many people in your life, but what is it.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
Going to be like a kid exchange the next time
he has to go get the kids from Gisel?
Speaker 1 (43:35):
Gsel already came out and said, I don't like how
you portrayed my family and the media before, and now
it all resurfaced again. I still don't like how you
portray our family.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
I mean, but dud, Aaron Hernandez's ex chick. She's out
there going yo, like I'm raising a daughter that is
gonna have to see this.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
Oh I didn't see that. There were a couple Aaron
Hernandez jokes. One was semi funny. One no they're all no, no,
they're all funny. The one was funny. Nicky Glazer did
one not.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
No no, no no, the one about the ring around
the neck. Hilarious, hilarious.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
Nicky Glazer's part, dude, was the phenomenal. I can't believe
you stopped at that.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
No, No, I have seen clips of her online, like
some of it. I thought that Jeff Ross guy was gay.
Great when he comes out as OJ, I mean, huh, hilarious.
He's known as he goes I'm about to Marty the
white ass bitch, you.
Speaker 1 (44:25):
Know what I mean. Like, I mean, it was some
of the stuff about killing restaurant servers and stuff. I
was like, dude, I'm saying, get it. It's a roast.
Kevin Hart, it's tough to host. He did good, alright.
A couple of times he just used the F word
too much. He got yeah, Vie. Tom Brady was Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
He just kept saying that.
Speaker 1 (44:43):
He just kept saying that Nicki Glazer is just funny.
It's like, Kevin, have seen your recent films, even putting
out her as I would call him short films. I
mean it was left and right, dude. So yeah, her closing,
I'm not telling it, but it is so dirty, but
it is phenomenal.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
I mean, what and someone made I don't know. I
saw the clip online. I don't know who it was.
I haven't got to that part. But when they're talking
about like, man, Tom, you made it, You're you're good
at leaving, like when you left your pregnant girlfriend, it's like,
oh my god, oh my god.
Speaker 1 (45:18):
They go hey, they go, dude, you traded your whole
family and in eight and.
Speaker 2 (45:22):
Six records, because I mean, hey, Tom, what Kevinard's that?
He goes Tom, Man, he goes Tom. Gizelle told you, hey,
either retire or I'm divorcing your ass. Retire or I'm
divorcing your ass. And you said, man, F Giselle F
My kids were an eight and nine season. You do you, Tom?
Speaker 3 (45:42):
You do Tom?
Speaker 1 (45:43):
You watch your kids and your wife for eight and nine?
Speaker 2 (45:45):
You do you Tom?
Speaker 1 (45:46):
He said that's gangster. You go, yes, dude, I would say,
that's why I gave it a B Portnoy with the
A plus little high And then my body who DMed
me or texted me. I didn't think it was that fun.
I thought it was final. It was great. But I'm
just telling you, gotta it's three hours and you gotta work.
Speaker 2 (46:03):
That's why I couldn't stand. I can't. I gotta do
it in chunks. I don't have three hours.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
You gotta. You gotta trust our humor. You listen to
our podcast. So I'm telling you, guys, the parts that
are funny, you can't even control the smile on your face.
You're laughing that hard. But sometimes it takes about five
minutes to get to those parts. Randy Moss was brutal.
I felt he should have handled it a little bit
better because he didn't even have a joke writer and
he just goes, Dude, the only reason I did this
is because Tom's such a good friend. He said, I'll
do whatever for him. I'm not even comfortable up here.
(46:27):
I'm actually nervous, he goes, but I'll just do whatever
for Brady. So I thought that was great that he
said that. Cool, but he should have been like, he
should have said more like, guys, I'm not a comedian.
I wrote these jokes all on my own. They probably
suck ass and said that, you know, because he didn't
even attempt really to do the roast thing. Uh, And
then I don't maybe I watched a little bit.
Speaker 2 (46:45):
Nicky Glazer. Was she the one that was telling Gronk
about he has a helmet like she might as well
he already has the helmet on. I'm as well play
football and She was like, hey, Edelman, can you explain
that to him?
Speaker 1 (46:57):
I called him an idiot, dude, And they go and
he lost thirty million in cryptocurrency. They're like, even Gronk
wasn't that big of a dumb ass to invest in cryptocurrency.
Speaker 2 (47:08):
And they said, hey, the reason we're having it here
at the whatever they had it, they said, we're gonna
have it at the Crypto dot com arena. But Tom
Mardy lost enough money with crypto.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
And I guess, Kim, if you watched it live, she
got booed. If you watched what I watched, I didn't
really hear the booze.
Speaker 2 (47:27):
Oh they yeah, why was she there?
Speaker 1 (47:30):
Because her and Tom kind of had a thing and
she's a slub. But what why what we hear? They
showed him on Daily Mail. They were a thing for
about a week and a half. And so that dude,
You know how you always give DAPs to the person
that just roasted you. We wanted to see him hug.
Netflix zoomed out, so we didn't even get to see
the hug or if they kissed, or what their embrace was.
Speaker 2 (47:50):
So you're telling me Tom Brady banged Kim K.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
Dude, that was all over Daily Mail for a solid
week of the show. I don't think we talked about it.
That's that's baffling. That's baff all right, Yeah, it's funny.
Speaker 2 (48:04):
And one more thing before we go, Rest in Peace.
FGL House. We brought CC three to FGL House trying
to save it. It was on its last legs and
they've closed.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
It down because of sore losers ticket sales.
Speaker 2 (48:20):
Not enough sore losers showed up to save that place, guys.
I mean, it was a sad day, but FGL House
is no more. We should have taken the paintings off
the wall, the frame pictures, we should have given those
out as souvenirs from the convention. The trophies should have
been plaques of FGL rest and peace.
Speaker 1 (48:39):
We went there April twentieth, me and Bezer randomly, really
on a wild hair. We go. We had gone to
three different places. Apparently these rooftops don't open till four pm.
And we're midday people. Yeah, and so we go. We're well,
fgl's reliable. Let's go there, Let's have a drink. Went there,
got one of those neutral drinks. We're both drinking our neudrals,
looking out over, you know, kind of reminisce a little
(48:59):
bit about sore losers. Convention, just had us a time,
got a newburn. We went on home and then I said, damn,
that was our last picture at FGL house. I'm glad
we got that drink.
Speaker 2 (49:09):
And on Friday, I'll tell you the FGL House story
that got edited out of the pod from the live
pod ray what happened to me at that bar the
weekend of Coaching Convention three.
Speaker 1 (49:21):
Ray? We can now tell all the dirty little seekerts
oh man. If that if those walls could talk, Oh.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
They're gonna talk. FGL House CC three story coming on Friday,
and Arnold sodomized himself.
Speaker 1 (49:33):
In the corner I heard and he yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:37):
And that's where Ruiz and Justin actually got along for
a little bit. They sat there next to each other
and they actually got along. That's pretty nice.
Speaker 1 (49:44):
Arnold. What is it called when you go to the
bathroom in the corner, But it's like the scientific way
to say it desecrated.
Speaker 2 (49:52):
Defecated on himself.
Speaker 1 (49:57):
That is my final memory at FGL.
Speaker 2 (50:00):
Uh oh boy,
Yop yo. Yeah, you're live. Oh, let's go, man. Right,
I don't have my headphones on, but you're talking.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Okay, I am talking. We are here. Let's go. Co
ed soccer gonna be canceling. The night storms are rolling in.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Power's out. What at the crib, dude? I got bodies
of water I've never seen before. I got a river
a lake in my yard. So it happens, and you
got property. Oh no, power's gone too. Beziers said, it's trouble.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
That's not good. Are you heading over to the in laws?
You're heading to brother Pitts's house? What are you doing?
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Man, I don't know. It's one of those.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
We're gonna camp out here at the station.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Temperature stays fine, Michigan is where the problem is, because
then it gets cold as hell and you got to
start fires inside with candles and shit. It's fine this
temperature time of the year. The only thing is this
stuff in the fridge. So but just don't open the fridge, right, yeah?
How long is that good? For?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Like twelve hours?
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Really? Yeah? All right, no problem.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Oh you're good, don't even worry about it. Let's go, man.
I mean, I got stories upon stories to tell you.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Yeah, Arnold, is your power out? I don't know. I
didn't pay the bill a month ago. Okay, Well, I
mean that's an actual different issue. So it's been out before. Yeah,
it's been out for a week. Okay, Well that's not
storm related, dumbas.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
How do you live there with no power?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Are you used to work? Shitter? Okay?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
And what about cooking?
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Are you McDonald's all right, that's good, Get in here,
do this with me. Man, We're gonna do it live.
Oh the one too, sore losers? What up?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Everybody? I am lunchbox. I know the most about sports,
so I'll give you the sports facts, my sports opinions,
because I'm pretty much a sports genius.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Yeah, it's season. I'm in Alpha male. I live on
the north side of Nashville with Bayser, my wife. It
is now a peninsula surrounded by water on three sides.
We do have farmland, ranchland, a white picket fence, I believe,
unless it's underwater right now. And the Michigan is known
for Evan Holmes, the Great Lakes here on Ontario, Michigan
(01:57):
Eerie Superior. Now Nashville is guys. We got water for
three days over to you lunch.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Yeah, I mean, do you want to start with how
you slept last night? Because I'll tell you how I
slept last night. Ray, how did you sleep last night?
I'm exhausted, man, Like, god, awful sleep last night. Because
my five year old baby Box was like I go
to pick him up from school and he's like, oh,
my stomach hurts. My stomach hurts. And I'm like, you
(02:28):
want to play the chase game? Because he always wants
to play the chase game on the playground when I
pick him up, where I chase him around him and
his brothers and they run up and down we played
chase game. He's like, I don't want to play a
chase game. I was like, okay, so maybe he really
doesn't feel good. So we go home and he lays
on the couch. Me and the other two we go
for a walk. We go swing. Some person in their
(02:48):
front yard has a swing hanging from a tree, so
we jump on that swing. No, we don't know him.
It's just a swing hanging in the tree. And I'm like,
if it's there, it's there to be.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Used, right. Is it a bigger property or can the
guy see you from his front door?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
We're about eight steps from his front door. Dog peeks
out the window. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Sometimes you know what friendly neighborhood who cares when wealth
is all over Ray, he's got a money tree as well.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
So then we, you know, continue walking and we're looking
for cicada shells. And then we walk by a neighbor's
house that we know and they are getting home and
they get out of the car and say hi. So
then we go in their backyard for a little while.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Play going Sarah, can we come over? And her name
was actually Sarah, popular name in Nashville.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
We dug in the dirt, hung out there for about
thirty forty five minutes.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
There you get a little dirty, take your shirt off
if it's got mud on it.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Oh okay, I that's not how it went.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Her husband was standing right there. Her husband was standing
right there. There you go mud to the face. Ah,
you're all dirty, get naked.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
You want to mud rose? She did ask me if
I want a mud wrestle on the woes. So we
go back home. It's time to eat dinner. We eat dinner,
and my five year old's like, oh, I don't think
I'm gonna eat. My stomach hurts, But then he eats
a ton of apple sauce, he eats bell peppers, he
eats some tortillas.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
What kind of meal is that? American?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
No, no, no, we gave him apple sauce because his
tummy hurt. The meal was like we were making tacos.
You had chicken seasoned with some bell pepper, some cheese.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Go Tuesday, Lebron, dude, Yeah, I didn't even think about that.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Maybe it was taco Tuesday. So we did that, and
he starts eating and eats a lot, and then he's
on the couch and he's in a good mood, laughing
and joking and playing and dicking around. And then I
give the other two bass because they're filthy.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
This isn't even about how you slept.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Oh no, we're getting there. Continue and then it's time
to go to bed, and I'm like, all right, let's
throw off the TV. And that's when he.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
My tombmage carts.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
The whole night he was fine, no, no, no, night, the
whole night he was fine.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
But once I say turn off the TV, Oh, I
can't have my hurt so much. My some hurt so much. Dude, listen,
you guys so much. Your routine is crazier in that
Twisters movie that's coming out again. It's coming out very
soon this summer. Shameless pluck.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
I'm like, dude, you were fine until I said turn
off the TV. So we go downstairs. He brushes teeth,
he does this, does that?
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Ted?
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Why don't you want to do stories? My stomach girls
too much? I just want to get in bed. I
don't he want to do stories? Okay, you don't have
to do stories. And then he gets in his bet. Actually,
will you read me a story? We read me a
story every night.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
We're rocking the books. Oh we rock books every night, dude. Right.
It's called educating America's youth.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
It's called teaching them how to read, teach them how
to love, flipping the pages, all that, learning their vocabulary everything.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
My hat, the cat goes up the cat.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Oh. Another good? A good one is Fred and Ted.
I don't know if you've had read that one.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Sounds like two guys off pass.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
It is two guys. They're two friends and they go
on a trip. Fred Rare's green, Ted Rare's red. I
think that's right.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
You ever read them Stanley the Dog?
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Yeah, they do. Like Stanley the Dog. We've read that
we read.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Shadeless Plug, Bobby Bone's written book at bet New York's
Times bestseller, Fox and Socks.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
We've read that. I mean we read a lot of them.
We read up.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
He grabbed the wife's romance novel, read a couple of
pages accidentally.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
No, and I don't. And her bosoms were popping out
of her shirt, and my kids against his No, that
what is bosoms? And what do you mean they were?
They were popping out of her and the set the
sweat was perspiring down her face. And no, we don't
read any of that.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
He thought that the pants would be strong enough, but
the tent was indeed pitched.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Dad, what do you mean he has a tent in
his pants? Uh? Never mind?
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Kids.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
So then it's like, all right, lights out, and he's
already My stomach, my stomach that sounds like spakon And
I'm like, Bud, do you have to go poop?
Speaker 1 (07:05):
No? Take my temperture debt, take my timpsture. I got it.
I'm sick.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
I'm sick. Temperature ninety eight five, you're fine.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Yeah, it's a band. They were great. What ninety eight degrees? Oh?
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Good call.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yeah, that's how you know when your temperature is good.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
I didn't realize it. Yeah, so anyway, why we're up watching.
I'm watching the game between the Thunder and the MAVs.
I had to go in his room three four times.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
This a thunder game on the TV or outside, and
the whole time, Oh, my stomach, I need to take
my shirt off. Honey, I'm watching the Thunder.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
I can't sleep. Oh my blanket. Oh, I'm like, Bud,
you are wasting all right. Here's a cup of water.
Here's a cup of water. Drink this when you're your
throat hurt.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
He gave him two cups of water, no one, and
he's just like freaking out. Gave him a six bag
of water and.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Finally he falls asleep. And then I go to bed.
Eleven fifteen, Oo.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad? Like what what I think I'm
gonna throw up? I think I'm gona throw up?
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Go in the bathroom, doesn't throw up, gets back in bed.
Cool twelve oh five am?
Speaker 1 (08:28):
What but what but my stomach? My stomach? Oh it hurts,
it hurts, it hurts. Do you need to go poop?
Speaker 2 (08:33):
No? Okay, go back to bed. Nine night, Dad, I
love you, love you? Cool one am, don't love you.
One am, Dad, Dad, he's not here.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Uh. He left. He's on vacation. He went to Austin, Briheart.
He's at the bar.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
And I say, all right, let's go in the bathroom. Okay, Dad,
I don't think I could throw up. I'm gonna go
back to bed.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
One twenty five Dad, and I wake come, Why honey, honey,
you've got to go. I can't do it.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
I don't want it.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
This will be my fourth time waking up and it's
only one twenty five in the morning. Whatever. And she's like,
oh what, okay, I'll go down there. She comes, she
comes back up twenty minutes there. I was like, do
you throw up?
Speaker 1 (09:23):
No?
Speaker 2 (09:23):
But I made him sit on the toilet, but he
didn't poop, all right, cool, So she left him. Yeah,
she put him back in bed. Two fifteen. This is
my fourth time going in there.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Dude. I'm sorry. That kid's got some sort of warm
in his stomach. And I told him.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
I went down there. I said, listen, you better slip boy.
I said, you're either gonna throw up or you're gonna poop.
And this is the last time I'm coming in here.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
I'm about show you how to do both of them.
This is it.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
You're gonna sit on that pot and you're gonna force
the poop out of your butt because that's the problem.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
So he sits there.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
And he's ripping, ripping, farts ripping him and he gets
two little pieces of poop out, and he goes, all right, Dad,
I'm done. I said, now, this is it. I'm not
coming back in here. He says, Okay, go to bed.
Three o'clock and I wake up my wife again. I said, listen,
(10:24):
I've been down there four times. I'm not going to fifth.
It's your shirn. So she went down there.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Way to keep count though in and out of sleep.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Impressive, dude, six wake ups I had to deal with
last night. That is how I slept.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Ray, I think we're gonna jump. We didn't even get
to go into mind. Hey, he took he.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Never threw up. He had two little pieces of poop.
And my wife texted me this morning and said, oh,
he says he's feeling so much better. Yeah, lovely, we
gotta go to break so I'm gonna take a nap
and we'll be right back.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Wait, am I gonna tell how I slept?
Speaker 2 (10:55):
How'd you sleep.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Thanks. Yeah, so you can tell me how you slept. Man, Yeah,
you took the entire ninety nine percentile of that segment.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
But do you understand why because it was a rough night.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
I think I slept great, dude, went to bed eight o'clock,
a little bit later than usual. Slept fine. It was
sleeplesses mean, you're awake. What's the opposite of that? It
was asleep? Sleep filled? Coach. I want to tell you this.
Have you ever considered reconstructing your sleep schedule? What if
you were to sleep during the day more, you front
(11:35):
load your hours of sleep and then with the kids,
then you're spotty. You're what it's called is uh pull Uh,
there's a term. It's uh. I'm thinking of polygamy. But
it's not that. It's not polyphasic.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
No, I don't know what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
I mean, you never leave it, sleep on and off again.
It's not just one continuous sleep. So you would sleep
an hour, you'd stay up with the kids for a
little while, you sleep another hour. But you can build
that to that by sleeping a chunk. You're lying, Sherry,
your sleep needs to be in the afternoon.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
I understand what you're saying, but usually here's the crazy part.
We usually get good nights to sleep. It's just these
last few weeks have been terrible.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
The episodes have been or your sleep is what you've said. Yeah, okay,
not the episodes.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Not the episodes. So I will have a talk with
my five year old today and be like, listen, man, tonight,
don't call me down here, don't call me, don't yell
for me. Sleep through the night. If you wake up,
just go back to sleep.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
These are the conversations they are going to remember.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Because I need to get my sleep.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
That they don't remember fun dad at two playing basketball.
They are going to remember Dad being a dick.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
They are gonna remember Dad, like I even told them
last night. I said, listen, man, I'm sorry to be
so rude, but I need to get some sleep. And
you call me down here every ten minutes is ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
But then my.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Wife just sent me a cool picture and said that
he built a tent and put a lot of toys
inside of it.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Wait a second, so the kids ain't at preschool. No,
he stayed home because his stomacher rather than daycare. Yeah,
oh so no perfect attendance. He already lost that in,
uh be his life even started.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
I will guarantee you this, My kid will not be
one of those kids on the news that is graduating
high school with perfect attendants. I'll guarantee that, dude.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
I would love to look those people up. I don't
think they're that successful. Doubt it. This one, Abbey, I
can't remember her any of her last name to look
her up. Are you talking about Miabby? No, Nola Arnold,
not her. It was a chicken Wyoming and I went
to school with her. She was perfect attendance, miss runner perfect.
Actually she stayed physically fit, she ran, so she probably
is actually a pretty good job. She's probably a lawyer
(13:44):
or something. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
And then I listened to the podcast back on Monday,
and I realized I missed two of the best stories
of the weekend.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yeah, how bored were you? I gotta commute that. I
can always push it off on. If you're saying that
you listening to your own voice is more interesting than
anything in your life. No, it's not only selfish and
not only conceded, but that is say you have got
nothing going on.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
I started thinking, like, man, did I can give too
much detail about Austin that I go step by step?
Did I bore the people I wanted to listen?
Speaker 1 (14:18):
We have some more info from Austin. So I have
two more stories from Austin man whoa still coming out
due you. You're never gonna hear all the the good
goss right away. Usually it's this, the this, the that.
But I'm telling you it's days later when you start
the drunken memories, you start organizing in your head.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
The trickle down effect. And I forgot that on Friday night.
We were leaving the drift Wood and we were on
the corner of Fourth and something, and we were gonna
get a car because we're gonna go to another bar.
And that's when the petty the petty cabs situation took
place that I have never seen before.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Petty cabs Austin, big damn deal. Nashville not so much.
I don't even think there's one.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
I don't understand why, though.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Yeah, we just come up. Oh my god, if you
guys don't just come up with a business.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
If you don't know what petty caps are, they are
they have seats attached to the back of a bike
and the biker, you know, pedals and you sit in
the seat and you get a ride to wherever you're going,
and they work off.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Tips and ATX they are rampant.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
They're everywhere everywhere. So we come out and we call
for a car because we're going to go to the
next bar that's like two miles away. And as we're
sitting there, there's a petty cap sitting there and the
dude's just sitting on his bike. You know, wait, who
needs a ride? Who needs a ride? Who needs a ride?
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Where are you guys going?
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Need a ride?
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Where you guys going?
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Is? Is anybody answering him?
Speaker 2 (15:42):
No, we're good man waiting on a car. And he's
got little biker shorts on, you know, like short shorts,
a T shirt. He's all sweaty and gross.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
They always are.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
I mean, it is human. And he's been obviously working
because it's twelve thirty, so he's been sweating his balls
off all night and here comes this drunk ash chick.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
But I mean maybe that's what they live for. You
always wonder that one thing to keep somebody a job.
He's got a hotty with the upskirt for a two
mile ride. And so I did say that I wasn't
thinking that.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
I don't know he She climbs up in the seat
and he looks back over his left shoulder and goes
where to and she pats the seat.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Well, you're going back to his place, and.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
We're like what She goes pats it again.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Still don't know what you're saying, lady.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
So he climbs off the seat and sits down.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
With her at his own petticab, in his.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Own petticap, and they're just sitting there a park next
to the curb.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
You ain't got no boss, You.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Got no boss, you got no time card, you got
nowhere to be.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
What do you do next? Jay? So they're just sitting there.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
She puts her arm around him, and they're just kind
of talking. Then she stands up.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Well, she was actually happy. They were having more fun
than us, Ray.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
And she starts twarking on him, twarking on him on
six no on fourth and something right outside of Driftwood.
That's six coach, it might as well be six okay,
And our uber gets there. We're like, cancel ride. We
gotta watch this. We got we got we gotta see
how this developed.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
What you call alternate transportation. You guys need a third.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
We're sitting there going, how is this possible? Like, what
is going on?
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Dude? The wild things come out after midday. It was hilarious.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
I mean, she just walks up, sits in the Betty
Captains dude is sweaty, gross, he's just working and she
and he climbs back there and she's twirking on him,
tworking on him, twirking, and then she sits back down
and starts smooching on him, and we were like, what
(17:45):
the dude?
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Like I called it the one thing that keeps those
people in those jobs. That's it.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
You saw it, Like this girl that's just like he's
just sitting here. We're trying to get a ride and
alls on. This chick's like, let's go.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Chicks into Austin are very attractive. What is she in Austin?
What Like in Austin seven is amazing Other parts of
the world, I mean, it's.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
I'd say six and a half. Isn't she got a
tight dress?
Speaker 1 (18:07):
I mean in any city in America that's a nine,
it's a black dress. Like Austin six is a Hawaii ten.
Uh knockers probably lower d range. Austin six is of
Michigan nine and a half, and so.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
I'm like, wow, okay. So then they kiss for a
little bit and then she gets up and she's like.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Is that still?
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Then she sits down on the seat, the bike seat,
and leans forward and grabs the handles bike handle No,
not driving, she's not peddling. And then she's just bouncing
up and down on the seat, bounced up and down
on the seat, and she's like just laid out like
her her Her knockers are on the metal bar that
(18:59):
goes from the seat to the handlebars, and she's just
bah bah.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
She's taking him for a ride, but that bike ain't moving,
and this dude is.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Just posted up in his own petty cab, like huh
is this really what's about to happen?
Speaker 1 (19:14):
And we're all going, dude, are they about to hook up?
Are they about to hook up? It's like you you
didn't say that me?
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Oh it's me Ryan, Scuba and Eddie and we're like yeah,
who this is unbelievable.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Eat or eat And it wasn't abby, was it not?
Wasn't that I missed my flight? Get back off, Arnold,
calm down, and we're like, wow, where is it? Hey?
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Where is this girl's friends?
Speaker 1 (19:45):
B does that guy have a Jimmy or do you
guys need to hand him.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
One b I don't have Jimmy's anymore. I'm married, guys,
I has dust on it. Yes, I don't need jimmies.
I have a wife.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
You pull it out. This might be from two thousand
and eight, but hey, you can use it if you
want the XP two thousand and eight boys.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
I mean it's about to be his busy time, because
it's about to get busy when the bars are letting out.
That's when he's gonna make all his money.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Yeah, but I mean, this is one of those nights, man,
and she just gotta put off work.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
She crawls back to the back, sits on his lap,
goes over the bins are backwards over the left shoulder,
and he's making out like his head is up on
top of hers. Hers is down, she's looking up, his
face is coming down on hers, and they're just mugging.
And then, are you guys in a bush or you're
just down there? We're just standing on the straight corner.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Man.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Are you faking like you're looking at other stuff? Or
they're in their own world? Man, they don't even know
we exist. We are We have had a lot of
drinks at this point, and we're just I mean, we
canceled our Uber to watch the transaction unfold to see
what was gonna happen. R Dudey're gonna they're gonna look up,
they're going home together.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Hey, And sometimes the reason you just stay out after
midnight is not so you're tired that I it's because
you're gonna see something you've never seen before.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
And Ryan is disgusted at this point. Ryan goes, Dude,
that dude he has sweaty ass balls. How gross is
that gonna be?
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Wait? He swings different though, right, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
He likes dudes. But he's like, that dude has been
pedaling the bike around Austin. Do you know how gross
he is? He has to smell so bad and then
down there it has to stink. And I'm like, this
is not the point of the story, Ryan, The point
is what's going on in that petticap. This is a
random connection. And then finally he goes, should we leave?
(21:37):
And she goes two thumbs up. He jumps on the
bike seat and they pedal away.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
How do you know where she was going? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
I don't know if they were going to drop off
his petty cab wherever the hell the pettica And then
that's what Ryan said. He goes, you know, he has
to petty that pedal cab, that thing like three miles
away to the garage. That's a long way. But I
was like, she didn't seem to care. They hooked up,
for sure.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
But I mean not, I mean they were dry.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Humping, dry humping. But dude, she just came out of
a bar, found this petty cab and goes and the
dude climbed back there.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Oh. I heard the story.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
It was incredible. I was like, Bravo, bravo for this
petty cab dude.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
That's Austin, Texas in a nutshell. It was fantastic, And
I damn I missed that city.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
I listened back to the pod on Monday, and I'm like,
how did I forget that story?
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Yeah, you can't tell that on the Big Show. No,
hey bones, My best experience was sawing a girl dry
hump a dude on a petty cab bike right outside
of six Uh. Over to you, Amy, what was your
best memory of iHeart.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Huh yeah, man. I even kidceled my uber because I
wanted to see what was gonna happen, like where her
girlfriend is gonna come out.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Of the bar and be like, hey girl, what are
you doing.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
You're making out with some sweaty, nasty dude.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
But you never know, dude, beer goggles. She could have
saw him though, with the sweat and everything. He looked
like the most jack dude in the vicinity.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
It could be or she just thought it was some
guy she was making out with in the bar and
he was waiting outside. She didn't realize he'd been sweating
all night, like, hadn't put deodorant on, didn't have any
you know whatever done in a house. He sleeps on
the petticab. It was fantastic.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
I don't know, dude, you ever been you ever actually
had a friend that was a petticab dude? No, there
was the one this show we watch, so I mean
our perception of him as they're homeless and they live
on couches. Dude, this dude was a petticab driver and
in Charleston on a show we watch, Southern Hospitality almost
she had fifty and dude, he was dating the hottest
(23:32):
DJ night girl hostess in the club. Really and he
was a petty cab driver. So but yeah, we might
want to look into that for Nashville. Yeah, yeah, uh yeah,
let's keep that business idea on the DL. I mean
for real though, I'm being dead serious, just like you
were serious about Coaches Convention and we thought you were kidding,
and now we've had it three years in a row.
(23:53):
This would be a decent business. We have the bikes,
we hire the drivers. One of us would have to
stay up late though, and watch these guys. Make sure
that they're not grinding on our bikes.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Oh yeah, we gotta make sure that chicks aren't just
getting in and porking.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Coach.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
We're gonna get in them on Monday morning. There's gonna
be more grease than just the gear shafts.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
And if someone's filling drink that it's awful sticky.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
All these bikes ain't gonna last through June.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Hey, guys, we thought we said no drinking in the Petticount.
No I want to drink, man.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Okay, man's did someone have some ranch in here?
Speaker 2 (24:33):
It's kind of white? No, it ain't ran.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Oh man, that's one of those glizzies. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Now let's take a break and I'm gonna come back
and I'm gonna tell you about the man. Maybe this
is the best story from Austin that's about to come up.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
I don't know if it can top the last one. Yeah,
because right now that story tops everything I've heard the past.
I don't know. Ten days on the show, nobody gave
a good recap of nitty gritty details. I don't need
to hear Al Dean try that in a small town.
I need to hear what happened backstage. And that was backstage.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
Well this one was not backstage, but it was in
the bathroom. Tell you right after this.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
You're getting good at these teases. That might have been
your best one yet, Ray, And this is the rest.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Saturday night after the show. Last year we had the
pettycab ride of the century going to the bars Me
for Me Chess Day, Ryan, Greg, Garrett, Jacob. We almost
died about three times getting hit by cars. Our petty
crab drivers were nuts.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
This year.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
I don't know how Ryan did it, but he lined
up a car, he got a car right, we walked out.
He found a drivers like, hey take us this bar.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
Yeah, it's called uber Lyft and Earth right correct.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
But we get to the bar, we get our drinks,
we get our picnic table, and I'm like, man, I
gotta go piss, man, I gotta piss. So I go
into the bathroom and you walk in the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Yeah, Rainy Street, I get it. They're all picnic tables outdoors.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Not Rainy Street. It's gonna be East sixth, on the
other side of thirty five, so way East sixth. And
it was called Whistler. I think it's called whistle And
I walk in, and straight ahead it's two urinals. To
the right is the sink, and right next to the
two urinals is the one toilet that has a wall
(26:30):
around it.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Okay, okay, So I video this story.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
I don't know if you want a video it. I
don't care if you want to video it. I'm just
gonna tell you what happened.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Would you start it over? Though, you gotta start okay?
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Rewind. So I walk into the bathroom, and if you
walk in straight ahead, you've never heard this before. There
are two urine holes. And then on the right is
the sink. When you right when you walk in. Oh,
and right next to the urinals is the one enclosed toilet.
If you need to take a dump, fascinating. So I'm
standing in line, and there's a line, okay, because it's
(27:11):
there's only three toilets and there's a lot of dudes
at this bar. Maybe there was another bathroom somewhere else
in the bar.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
I didn't know.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Where it was.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
It's the Whistler though.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Whistler, I believe it was called. It was on the
east side of thirty five. And so I'm waiting in line,
waiting in line, and then there's two people left in
front of me, and there's a guy at the left
urn urinal and a guy at the right urinal.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Hey, brother, how's he going?
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Man?
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Good night, buddy. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
And I look at the guy at the right urinal
and he's doing a little.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Oh dude, Axin's been terrible in Nashville.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Too, right there at the urinal.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
It sucks. You got to blow your nose. It works. No, no, no,
it was. It was definitely blow.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
But he wasn't blowing his nose, so I'm telling you
it's out. He was getting a little sugar up the nose.
And he turns around and he still had his pants
wide open.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
You saw it.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
No, he had his underwear, but he had an unbuttoned
unzipped belt flopped, you know, like the two wings.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
What street were you guys on? We were on.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Sixth Street West. And he goes, oh, and he kind
of wipes his nose, you know what I mean. And
he doesn't realize his pants are still just open, and
he goes over to the sink. And first of all,
I'm like, who the hell, how disgusting to do it
right on the urinal. That's pretty nasty, right, Yeah. Then
(28:30):
he goes over to the sink to wash his hands.
I guess still got the pants wide open.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Well, you're following him pretty closely well, because.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
I'm wondering if he's just gonna walk out with his
pants open into the bar.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
He goes over to the.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Sink, starts washing his hands, and then he has like
a little container and he looks over his right shoulder
and make sure no one's looking, dips his finger in it.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Oh salt shaker, sticks it in his mouth. We're good, dude,
Sometimes people with that beer salt. It kind of helps
him that throwing it.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
It wasn't beer salt, but he stuck it right in
his mouth just to make sure he was good.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Might have been a zinner dude, Hey, he got his
inner tony for me. I need to sober up.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
And then he wipes his pointer finger on his pants
because he's got he already put in his mouth, dry
it off. Still got the pants wide open, I mean
the underwear, the zipper down, fly open belt, loop belt
just flopping out. He goes to walk out. His chick
is just waiting for him, and he walks out and
(29:32):
she goes your pants. He's like, oh, oh.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
You're in the background. Hey, your pants too. I saw it.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Yeah, your pants and your coke. And then I got
me thinking, does she know he's doing the the powder?
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Sadly, if he's doing the bathroom, he's avoiding management, but
maybe also his girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Because she had a drink waiting for him. She handed
him the drink he already had to drink in the bathroom.
He had he had the rocket fuel already. Sweet, he
didn't need nothing else. He needed no other items. And
I'll tell you this is a little frat du you know,
like a twenty one year old frat dude got the
floppy hair and had his polo and the jeet, and
so he gets out there, he's like, oh, He hands
(30:10):
the drink back to his girling, fixes his pants and
then they go over and he gets some water. I
saw him get some water. Then they went and had
a good night. I guess young love man. I was like,
damn this dude, it's been a while since I've been out.
But he was not shy about it, and he was
so messed up he forgot about his pants.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Yeah, I mean, that's confident dude. Man.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
So nothing like a little coke in the bathroom on
a Friday Saturday.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Night, you know, Arnold. I mean, whenever he leaves the bathroom,
he makes sure five times is zipped. That'd be an
embarrassment if he walked out.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Yeah, but I figure if you're gonna if you're gonna
do that, you're gonna go at least the stall that
no one can see you, right.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
Yeah, I mean I think you're breaking it down too much.
All I heard was it sounded like a little bit
of beer salt and also a salt shaker. Allergies are
maybe a little sour cream and on the way out
of zinner to sober up a little bit, Yeah, a
little bit of under the tongue like oh yeah, yeah, okay,
that's what just went up my nose.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
That was. My question is if he just did it
up the nose, why did he stick his finger in
it and do it right in the under the tongue.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Yeah, it don't make no sense.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
So that was a cocaine in the bathroom man.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Also, that was a pretty good police investigation.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Dude, that's pretty good. I could have busted him right
there if I wanted to, but I'm not that guy.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Yeah, but I'm saying you didn't. Do You know how
many different substances are colored white? Uh no, powdered sugar, sugar, salt, beer, salt,
zen pac paint, coloring, crans, what else? Snow, cotton, oh, snow,
forgot about snow? Allstrine, strip mint, gom a mints a mint.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Oh so that's probably all that.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
I just named twenty of them.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Okay, Well, there you go. That was my story about
cocaine in the bathroom man.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
That was it.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
And then I got a call Sunday night from the hotel,
right and they said.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Hello, yes, yes, uh this is this is uh, this
is Gibbles.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
I'm like hello, They're like, oh, yes, sir, I just
want to inform you that checkout was at eleven and
we were wondering if you were gonna still you're gonna
check out today?
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Yeah, yeah, I plan on it. I mean I don't
live here, I live in a different city.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
This was at nine o'clock at night. What And I'm like,
I'm gone, I've been gone, And they said, oh, you
still have your privacy hanger on the door, so we
hadn't gone in the room yet.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
Of a very private person, I'm like, seriously, guys, just
going go in the room. Man knock a couple of times.
If anybody answered, You're good, Hello.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
Are you in there, They're like, oh, we just wanted
to make sure because it said privacy and we kept
walking by, but we're already done cleaning that floor, and
we just wanted to make sure that you were going
to get out today. And I was like, I've been
out since ten o'clock this morning. I'm like, oh, well,
next time, can you just kindly take that privacy sign
off the door?
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Dude, Dominican Republic, you got to put about three of
those on the door because they're trying to get the
rooms done. They want to turn over. They'll come in.
It doesn't matter if you're changing shower, and they'll come
in and start cleaning. If you don't have.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
About hey me, I actually leave the privacy thing on it.
It's like, oh my god, we can't go near that.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Nor thank you for the privacy. I've never seen that
kind of surface. That was incredible. Privately, don't even reside
anymore in that room.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
I mean I got the call and I was like hello,
and they're like, oh, yeah, this is so and so
with the Fairmount or Fairmount whatever it's called.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
And I'm like, yeah, there, how are you doing this evening, sir?
Speaker 2 (33:29):
I'm doing great?
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Thank you?
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Oh yes, we were just wondering if you still planned
on checking out today because check out was at eleven am.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Well, let's see. I checked out. Then I rode anew Ber,
I got to the airport, I went through TSA, I
got on the plane. I actually landed the plane. My
wife picked me up. I'm back at the house now,
in the privacy of my own home. I've been gone
from there for about eleven hours. Yeah, go in the
fucking room. I also went to a t ball game.
I went to my parents' house, who had no food
for me, even though I hadn't eaten breakfast. I saw
(33:57):
my brother, I saw my sister in law. I saw
my nephew. I went to my two nephews the twin
nephews t ball game. I ran around the track with
my niece. We had snow cones in the parking lot.
My dad dropped me off at the airport. I got
on the plane. I flew two hours home. I got
my car.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
And you guys have been just now going into my room,
just now going in the room.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
Guys, you could have another family in there by Now.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
You guys gonna solved that thing you told a family.
You kept turning guests away. No, sorry, no vacancy. You
had vacancy. Man, that room was wide open.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Dude, is the worst man? Actually mean it's the best.
They're awes. They do good, they do.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
I mean, how but how nice of them to just
let me stay in there.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
It's always like you never have it your way, you know.
Sometimes you want the privacy. They're beating down the door
you're supposed to check out. Sometimes you My wife loves
the privacy. I never get the towels changed. It can't win.
I had something else to say, and then I just
I never.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Get them to clean my room. While I'm there. I
leave that privacy sign on there.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
Then you need to live with my wife because dude,
she'll do it on vacation. And I'm like, sweetie, I
don't know how else to explain this to you. We
need clean towels. Take the damn privacy things down. We
cannot go untrashed and unnew toweled for an entire week
on vacation. I we have to let them in, get
rid of it. She hates when they come in our
rooms on vacation, and I love it, dude. They can
(35:13):
come in five times while I'm there because I want
constant new towels. They're taking plates and we got room service. Dude, baser,
complete opposite. She never wants them coming in.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
My wife wants them to clean. She wants it everyga.
Then that's the thing we need to swap, wife swap.
That's a good TV show. Let's write it.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
Down strictly only for the privacy side.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
It's so weird. I'm just like, I don't need them
to come in here every day because then I feel
pressure of getting up and getting out. And when we're
checking out, my wife's always like, we gotta go checkouts
at eleven, checkouts at eleven. We gotta go, we gotta
go I'm like, do you think they're really gonna knock
on our door right at eleven? Out of all the intel,
(35:50):
all the rooms in the hotel, they're gonna be at
our door at eleven. And usually if you're in the
middle of the hallway, that's when you're golden. You're not
it because they usually start at one in and go
to the other. So if you're in the middle, you
got hours to chill. As I found out this time,
just leave the privacy sign on. But there has been
a couple times right at eleven there.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Uh yes, uh, are you guys almost out? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Be right out.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Sorry, you can buy thirty minute, but you can buy
an hour.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
You can chill. Just relax, no stress. Express that puts
a bow on the trip to Austin.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
The max is about an hour and a half. You
can buy me and South Beach did it. Then they
started to get how freaked out were you? I was
very but we were still just chilling because our flight
was a weird time. This is ten years ago. But
South Beach knows that you can push it, push it,
push it, and then the clean lady goes, I am
going to have to call a supervisor and inform them
that you guys have not left your room, if you
please don't leave right now. We're like, okay, all right,
(36:45):
that sounds like a fine.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
Yeah, speaking of We'll be right back and I'm gonna
tell you about how my kid is just like me,
and I don't know if that's a good thing or
a bad thing.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
Right after this, this is your final segment. Man, I
got to get home.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Our partnership with the Preds came to an end.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
When they lost in the playoffs.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Yeah, exactly, they lost in the playoffs. Man, they lost.
But that's okay.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
Because I told brother that, but nobody listens to.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
Uh. They played on Friday night, correct, Yeah, So my
five year old is a diehard fan. He isn't very
into sports, he is very into watching games whim and
so he watched the first two periods on Friday night,
and then it was bedtime, so my wife put him
to bed, and they won. She recorded the third period
(37:40):
for him, and so the next morning, that's the first
thing he wants to do when he wakes up is
watch the Pred's third period and then they lost. She
should have delleted it, no, because he would have known. Well, no,
because he knows that it's the playoffs.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
Alright, hadn't won yet in a minute and one home game.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
He knows that if they lose, it's the last game
of the season, that they have no more games.
Speaker 1 (38:07):
He already understands the series, the seven games. Yeah, I
explained it to him. We talk about it two three
and four, five, six, seven. So Ray.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
After the final horn sounded and they lost, dude balled
his eyes out for fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
I'm sorry, I know, funny, that's great, dude. He wait
in the morning.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
In the morning, the game was already over the night before,
but he didn't know that. He watched the third period
on Saturday morning, and when the final horn sounded, he
cried for fifteen minutes straight.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
My wife said, we're gonna go to Preds games together
in the future.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
It is like those kids in March Madness when the
camera zooms in on them because their team is losing,
you know, in the crowd. My kid feels the pain
of a Predator lost the end of the season. He
is like me. He cried and cried and cried.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
Were you there? No? Oh, I was gonna say, why
is your wife sending you a picture? In the same run.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
She was like, he wanted to watch the end of
the Prebs game. This is the result.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
Coach. You gotta show him a different third period and
tell him the rest of the season got canceled. It's
not worth it for a kid to go through that heartbreak.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
I mean, I didn't know he was good. Dude, We've
had some didn't.
Speaker 1 (39:26):
You tell him COVID hit again? Mask. Hey guys, I've
met a job interview for my wife. Sorry, I can't
come to see him a fez.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
Because then he'll want Then he sees other teams playing,
and so now he went, we got to pick another
team who we're going to cheer for, and he doesn't
know who to cheer for.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
Pick the Oilers in the West, Rangers and the Ease. Well.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
I was ready to put the Dallas Stars in the
hoisting the cup last night, dude. They beat the Vegas
gold Knights in there up three to nothing after one
last night. I just saw it. On the bottom line,
I'm like, damn, maybe they are really good. They're going
the Stanley Cup.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
I won the damn Division all year.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
I woke up this morning they lost four to three. Yeah,
I had no idea.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
Sometimes those goals coming clusters.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
Yeah. But so my kid, he is okay, he has recovered,
he has He may be cheering for the Canucks now
I'm not sure. He has not decided on a team,
but he will be picking a new team and then
when they lose, he will have heartbreak and we'll have tears.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
Again, it's hockey talk. Since we're taking this moment hockey talk.
The I posted a video on our Instagram. It was
us behind the net. One of the Bruins was drilling,
slapping the ship out of the puck hitting the glass
and we all yelled. I had about thirty of those videos,
great videos of the Bruins, and I was thinking, as
they progress in the playoffs, put him, we keep riding
(40:41):
that train, keep riding that train. Just one problem. So
a couple of weeks ago, the phone was out of storage,
so I deleted them. So unless yeah, so we have
one video, that one where that guy slapped just he
just slayed straight up. Dick slaps it man, where we're yelling,
you know, and there's and you do your little girl
screen and then I have the picture of you and
(41:02):
me both together. Other than that, we don't have any footage.
But wouldn't. That would have been good, man, if we
were able to use that footage stuff. Yeah. These iPhones
they don't make them for video producers, they don't. This
thing has the storage of a freaking mini porn dude,
a short film. I don't Yeah, whatever, I mean, Uh,
(41:23):
can we discuss something your kid like you? Because you
guys both cry over?
Speaker 2 (41:27):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're so into it, very hardcore.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Have you seen the Brady Roast? This is segue? Oh?
Can I tell you, man, Ray, that wasn't a segue.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
I watched the first forty minutes of it so far. Dude,
he looks so uncomfortable, definitely when they make some of
those jokes and he tries that like he's laughing and
he just kind of half smiled, and and he grabs
a drink and he kind of like toasts like, ha ha,
this is so funny.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
Ha ha. What the dude?
Speaker 2 (41:55):
It is brutal.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
It's brutal, and it's good that they got the star
hour they did. That's and I Dave Portnoyd rated it
an A plus. One of my buddies text me and said,
he's the Fort Lauderdal guy. He goes it's the best thing.
I've ever seen you guys. Got it this how he
talks you guys gotta watch it. It's so funny, it's
I've laughed my ass off for two straight hours. I
give it a solid B A plus.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
He watched the whole thing.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
I watched past Nicki Glazer, Nicki Lazier killed it.
Speaker 2 (42:21):
I watched it until Nicki Glazer was about to come on,
so I watched Drew bledsoe.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
That's it. I know, great, great, he goes, he goes,
some people drink after they get depressed the news. He goes,
I opened the winery.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
And he goes, and he goes, you know, I have wine,
and here's Tom Brady's wine.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
Where's the flag? Where's the flag?
Speaker 2 (42:41):
He goes? And Tom, you know, you may have all
those Super Bowl rings, and he may have all the accolades,
but I have two things that you'll never have. What
it feels like to go number one overall in the
NFL draft, and by Anniverse shoes. That was yesterday. I
mean hilarious.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
They went hard. But I guess the Brady, the talent
or whatever gives them permission to go as hard as you.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
I understand that, But why I am trying to I
guess he got paid like thirty million dollars or something.
Speaker 1 (43:14):
But that and then also, dude, once you reach such
a high celebrity fame greatness, you're like, bring it, I
don't give a shit your goat. That's when you know
you're a goat when you can let when they have
that much to rip into you on and you have
so many people in your life, but what is it.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
Going to be like a kid exchange the next time
he has to go get the kids from Gisel?
Speaker 1 (43:35):
Gsel already came out and said, I don't like how
you portrayed my family and the media before, and now
it all resurfaced again. I still don't like how you
portray our family.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
I mean, but dud, Aaron Hernandez's ex chick. She's out
there going yo, like I'm raising a daughter that is
gonna have to see this.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
Oh I didn't see that. There were a couple Aaron
Hernandez jokes. One was semi funny. One no they're all no, no,
they're all funny. The one was funny. Nicky Glazer did
one not.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
No no, no no, the one about the ring around
the neck. Hilarious, hilarious.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
Nicky Glazer's part, dude, was the phenomenal. I can't believe
you stopped at that.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
No, No, I have seen clips of her online, like
some of it. I thought that Jeff Ross guy was gay.
Great when he comes out as OJ, I mean, huh, hilarious.
He's known as he goes I'm about to Marty the
white ass bitch, you.
Speaker 1 (44:25):
Know what I mean. Like, I mean, it was some
of the stuff about killing restaurant servers and stuff. I
was like, dude, I'm saying, get it. It's a roast.
Kevin Hart, it's tough to host. He did good, alright.
A couple of times he just used the F word
too much. He got yeah, Vie. Tom Brady was Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
He just kept saying that.
Speaker 1 (44:43):
He just kept saying that Nicki Glazer is just funny.
It's like, Kevin, have seen your recent films, even putting
out her as I would call him short films. I
mean it was left and right, dude. So yeah, her closing,
I'm not telling it, but it is so dirty, but
it is phenomenal.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
I mean, what and someone made I don't know. I
saw the clip online. I don't know who it was.
I haven't got to that part. But when they're talking
about like, man, Tom, you made it, You're you're good
at leaving, like when you left your pregnant girlfriend, it's like,
oh my god, oh my god.
Speaker 1 (45:18):
They go hey, they go, dude, you traded your whole
family and in eight and.
Speaker 2 (45:22):
Six records, because I mean, hey, Tom, what Kevinard's that?
He goes Tom, Man, he goes Tom. Gizelle told you, hey,
either retire or I'm divorcing your ass. Retire or I'm
divorcing your ass. And you said, man, F Giselle F
My kids were an eight and nine season. You do you, Tom?
Speaker 3 (45:42):
You do Tom?
Speaker 1 (45:43):
You watch your kids and your wife for eight and nine?
Speaker 2 (45:45):
You do you Tom?
Speaker 1 (45:46):
He said that's gangster. You go, yes, dude, I would say,
that's why I gave it a B Portnoy with the
A plus little high And then my body who DMed
me or texted me. I didn't think it was that fun.
I thought it was final. It was great. But I'm
just telling you, gotta it's three hours and you gotta work.
Speaker 2 (46:03):
That's why I couldn't stand. I can't. I gotta do
it in chunks. I don't have three hours.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
You gotta. You gotta trust our humor. You listen to
our podcast. So I'm telling you, guys, the parts that
are funny, you can't even control the smile on your face.
You're laughing that hard. But sometimes it takes about five
minutes to get to those parts. Randy Moss was brutal.
I felt he should have handled it a little bit
better because he didn't even have a joke writer and
he just goes, Dude, the only reason I did this
is because Tom's such a good friend. He said, I'll
do whatever for him. I'm not even comfortable up here.
(46:27):
I'm actually nervous, he goes, but I'll just do whatever
for Brady. So I thought that was great that he
said that. Cool, but he should have been like, he
should have said more like, guys, I'm not a comedian.
I wrote these jokes all on my own. They probably
suck ass and said that, you know, because he didn't
even attempt really to do the roast thing. Uh, And
then I don't maybe I watched a little bit.
Speaker 2 (46:45):
Nicky Glazer. Was she the one that was telling Gronk
about he has a helmet like she might as well
he already has the helmet on. I'm as well play
football and She was like, hey, Edelman, can you explain
that to him?
Speaker 1 (46:57):
I called him an idiot, dude, And they go and
he lost thirty million in cryptocurrency. They're like, even Gronk
wasn't that big of a dumb ass to invest in cryptocurrency.
Speaker 2 (47:08):
And they said, hey, the reason we're having it here
at the whatever they had it, they said, we're gonna
have it at the Crypto dot com arena. But Tom
Mardy lost enough money with crypto.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
And I guess, Kim, if you watched it live, she
got booed. If you watched what I watched, I didn't
really hear the booze.
Speaker 2 (47:27):
Oh they yeah, why was she there?
Speaker 1 (47:30):
Because her and Tom kind of had a thing and
she's a slub. But what why what we hear? They
showed him on Daily Mail. They were a thing for
about a week and a half. And so that dude,
You know how you always give DAPs to the person
that just roasted you. We wanted to see him hug.
Netflix zoomed out, so we didn't even get to see
the hug or if they kissed, or what their embrace was.
Speaker 2 (47:50):
So you're telling me Tom Brady banged Kim K.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
Dude, that was all over Daily Mail for a solid
week of the show. I don't think we talked about it.
That's that's baffling. That's baff all right, Yeah, it's funny.
Speaker 2 (48:04):
And one more thing before we go, Rest in Peace.
FGL House. We brought CC three to FGL House trying
to save it. It was on its last legs and
they've closed.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
It down because of sore losers ticket sales.
Speaker 2 (48:20):
Not enough sore losers showed up to save that place, guys.
I mean, it was a sad day, but FGL House
is no more. We should have taken the paintings off
the wall, the frame pictures, we should have given those
out as souvenirs from the convention. The trophies should have
been plaques of FGL rest and peace.
Speaker 1 (48:39):
We went there April twentieth, me and Bezer randomly, really
on a wild hair. We go. We had gone to
three different places. Apparently these rooftops don't open till four pm.
And we're midday people. Yeah, and so we go. We're well,
fgl's reliable. Let's go there, Let's have a drink. Went there,
got one of those neutral drinks. We're both drinking our neudrals,
looking out over, you know, kind of reminisce a little
(48:59):
bit about sore losers. Convention, just had us a time,
got a newburn. We went on home and then I said, damn,
that was our last picture at FGL house. I'm glad
we got that drink.
Speaker 2 (49:09):
And on Friday, I'll tell you the FGL House story
that got edited out of the pod from the live
pod ray what happened to me at that bar the
weekend of Coaching Convention three.
Speaker 1 (49:21):
Ray? We can now tell all the dirty little seekerts
oh man. If that if those walls could talk, Oh.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
They're gonna talk. FGL House CC three story coming on Friday,
and Arnold sodomized himself.
Speaker 1 (49:33):
In the corner I heard and he yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:37):
And that's where Ruiz and Justin actually got along for
a little bit. They sat there next to each other
and they actually got along. That's pretty nice.
Speaker 1 (49:44):
Arnold. What is it called when you go to the
bathroom in the corner, But it's like the scientific way
to say it desecrated.
Speaker 2 (49:52):
Defecated on himself.
Speaker 1 (49:57):
That is my final memory at FGL.
Speaker 2 (50:00):
Uh oh boy,
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