April 10, 2020 • 35 mins
Kelly and Chip discuss the phenomenon that is dating in quarantine and interview one of Chip’s friends who’s dating life has grown exponentially since coronavirus isolation began. He breaks down what people are doing for dates in isolation, how connection may actually be growing stronger and the best game he has learned to play via FaceTime.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is Kelly Henderson and you are listening to Act
Casual on the Velvet Edge podcast. This was our last
episode recorded via zoom call. We gave it a go
in isolation, and I'm just not happy with the sound
quality entirely, so we will be using a different method
going forward. I just wanted to give you guys the
heads up that I am completely aware of the tiny
sound glitches in this episode. This week, Chip and I
(00:22):
are addressing quarantine, dating and the fact that, amongst all
the things that are changing in our current world, like
the fact that I recorded this episode at three fifteen
and was still in my pajamas, dating is the one
thing that is not changing. And actually, if it's changing,
it might just be getting better. See what we're talking about.
Here's our conversation. The light's kind of nice right now,
(00:45):
Oh Golden hour, you're feeling like you found your lights?
I mean maybe, I certainly didn't find my hairstyle though.
I'm very speaking of hair, like I literally just found
out that I have a situation a nest growing back here.
Is that real hair that was rude? Shots fired? Man? Yes,
(01:07):
it is real hair. Thank you for asking how long
would your hair be if all your fake hair fell out,
it's just like you make it like it's like I
am balding and I only have fake hair happening. This
volume might know that. But the truth is is I
had it super long, you know, and then I just
(01:28):
decided to cut it and it it kind of matches
my normal hair. Now we had to keep cutting my
normal hair to match the extensions. I just now, Yeah,
I just got like it's like this full head of
hair although it hasn't been washed. I can't. I mean,
I can't even remember. It's great, I think. Let me
just tell you, let me just show you what's happening.
Right now. I'm still in still so because it's three
(01:51):
fifteen in the afternoon. The only reason I have on
this little excuse me, this little jacket situation is that
it I went outside for a second, it's chili to day.
It's a little colder than you think because it's so sunny,
and I love it. But right, but anyway, the situation is,
I don't know. This is like life and quarantine, I guess,
(02:11):
or isolation. I've shoved my dogs into the backyard for this,
so they're not barking during it, but they're lucky because
it's nice and sunny, so they're just it's a beautiful
day in Nashville. So I mean we're kind of touching
on an interesting topic here that life has changed a
lot for most of us. But we were talking the
other day and dating is somehow still happening, which is
(02:34):
blowing my mind, like how is this still happening? Well,
I think, um, you know, some of the reading that
I've been doing about it, like I think a lot
of it's just out of boredom. Like a lot of
these dating apps are seeing a spike in usage because
everyone's got their device in their hand because they don't
know what else to do. Well, And then I was
reading on Glamour um that a lot of the research
(02:55):
is coming back that the need for human connection right
now is even greater than it's ever been, Like we
always need that, but right now specifically, especially if you're
isolated alone all day, think about that, you really really
need that human connection. So people are seeking it out
even more than normal. Well, and I think too, it's um,
(03:17):
there's people have time to actually do vote to that
connection where it's like you know, it's well, I feel
like I've done I've done a lot of online dating attempts,
and um, a lot of it's so surface, and some
of that comes comes with the fact that, like you know,
you're busy in your everyday life, you don't have a
(03:37):
lot of right look to it. And now, because the
time exists, you're actually able to get like a little
bit deeper with some of these people that you might
not have even given the time a day before. That's
a great point because we actually are seeking out something
a little more than just let's go grab a drink,
because you can't go just grab a drink, right and
you can't just hook it up, So I guess you're
looking for more than that, maybe even if developing a
(04:00):
friendship first, which is kind of how dating should be, right. Yeah, well, honestly,
it's like it's it's funny because I feel like online
dating or app dating or whatever you wanna call it,
like has had such a bad rap, like people think,
you know of it as like the modern version of
uh like answering the classified in the newspaper or something.
(04:22):
But for me, the experience of doing it, like I
loved it because there were so many like red flags
that you could point out or like what's the opposite
of a red flag a white flag, that a green flag,
green flag, that's trademark that um. But like if someone
can't spell, like or you know you have this thing
(04:44):
was spelling, you have read this upon, you have a
real problem if you missed the words. My grandmother was
a proof reader, so that maybe there's something it seems
like something, you know, the apple might not have fallen
that far from the tree here though, I'm really about
editing my own emails and stuff, so which is just
(05:06):
critical of you, but right exactly, But no, I think
that like it gives you the opportunity to like sort
of um, notice things about people that aren't just physical
and um, and you can give yourself the opportunity to
m are the time to sort of like get to
know somebody before committing in any sort of way. Whereas
(05:27):
like if you just meet someone at a bar, it's
generally a physical reaction and you're like, let's go get
a drink. The next thing you know, you're at drinks
with like someone who's super lame and you have zero
connection with. Right. See, I've never done online dating because
of exactly what you're talking about. I need that I
need to know if there's that chemistry first, like the
in person feeling that you get when you see someone
(05:49):
and maybe you're interested in You'll have that, right. I
always say that banter or that you just have that connection,
you know, you can tell right away with somebody totally. Yeah.
So have you been dating at all in this isolation period?
I haven't. Um, yeah, no, I just haven't. Like, in fact,
I haven't really been doing much of it prior you know,
(06:10):
this year at all, prior to the whole coronavirus thing.
So for me, um yeah, I kind of feel like
it's a little pointless. Um So I'm like, I'm not
going to get sucked into like some conversations with people
that I'm just like sort of forcing it because I
feel like if I got online right now and started
to try and meet somebody, it would be more out
(06:31):
of just boredom and like forcing myself to do it
versus act like you're not actually really yeah, you're not
actually interested in dating? Interesting, well, if you do decide
a date. Glamour also gave some tips on which which
actual apps are the best for certain things, which I
thought was interesting. They say that Okay, Cupid is the
best for long term relationships interesting, which I've never heard.
(06:55):
Have you heard that? No? I mean I didn't even
know they were still in business to be on Okay.
Well clearly they are. I mean, honestly, I don't know
anyone on Okay keep it. But they say it's because
the woman reaches out first, which isn't that the way
bumble is. That's how Bumble is too. I think so
anytime the woman is messaging first. I don't really know
why that is more of a long term situation, but
(07:17):
maybe because most of the girls on there are looking
for that, Yeah, I think that's probably it. Um you know,
it's I think that a lot of them, you know,
Tinder was the hook up app, you know, right at
the gate, so's I think each of them have their
own sort of underground like personality. Um yeah, barking it's
(07:38):
kind of driving me crazy, but um yeah, I think
they all have like sort of a known even in
the gay world. Um, you know, I think the Grinder
is looked at as like the Tinder version of of dating.
It's just all about hooking up. And there are some
that are a little bit more that are like sort
of dating bent right. Well, they say for over forty
(08:03):
the best one is match, which actually, you know what,
that makes sense to me, And honestly, the only success
stories that I've ever heard from dating apps like long
term that lead to marriage are on match dot com.
M My sister actually met her husband on an app
called plenty Plenty of Fish dot com. Oh yeah, plenty
of Fish. Yeah, yeah, that's an interesting one. She met
(08:26):
some dude on e Harmony that and it didn't work out.
She thought she was going to marry him, but it
didn't work out. That's a shame. Well, and it happens
a lot of these dating sites. Yeah they Have you
heard of this site called Love is Quarantine? It's a
new Instagram account. Oh yeah, I have seen it. I
didn't um, I haven't like really dug into it. But yeah,
(08:49):
aren't people like dating on it? They're matching people? Yes,
So apparently the founders of this site, which oddly enough,
for my neighbors, I mean the neighbors of my photographer
for Velvit's edge. She lives in Brooklyn and they live
next to order her. So this is how I found
out about it. But they're huge fans of that show
Love Is Blind, which obviously you and I both are
as well, and so they loved the concept of the
(09:10):
pods and they're like, Okay, well now we're all isolated,
so how do we take that concept and make it
into something that works during this isolation period. So the
way they set it up is you do these spread
They have a Google spreadsheet basically, and this is how
they're matching people. You just get you get it on
the phone and you talk to somebody. So sometimes the
conversations are great, just like they were in the Pods.
(09:31):
Sometimes they're terrible. And they document all this on their
Instagram account and it's it's rapidly growing. Like in this
Glamor article that they were talking about it, they were saying, Um,
the way that you get in is you just d
M them, And so they are also saying it might
be difficult to get in right now because it's so popular. Yes, yes,
(09:51):
I'm looking at Love is Quarantine. Here we go. Yeah,
I'm gonna have to dig in more. Maybe you should
do it. It would be entertaining for us. I'll take
one the team. Maybe maybe I will. I actually saw
there's a new dating app called UM. It's called Quarantine
Together UM, and it's actually pretty interesting. UM concept Basically,
(10:15):
it's a text based app and every night at six pm,
the registered users get a text asking them if they
washed their hands, and if they say yes, they are
then matched with another user by text and they have
to text for fifteen minutes before they get sent a
link to where they can video chat. Okay, so the
(10:36):
only rule for this side is that you have to
wash your hand? Do agree that you have washed your hands? Yeah?
How can they prove that? I mean, I guess they
don't have to. I mean, it's probably just like a
nice little reminder. It's like, do you know the password?
The password is washing your hands? I mean, my hands
are about to fall off? Are yours? Like they're literally
(10:56):
my knuckles they're so drawn. But I'll so like, if
you know, if your hands aren't dry right now, and
I see that you have well moisturized, healthy hands, like,
don't come near me, but maybe somebody sleeping in gloves
of vasseline or something, you know, Yeah, I'm about to
start doing that, even Lingloria Trick. My biggest question about
all of this dating stuff is what are people doing
(11:19):
to Like? What are these dates? Is it a phone call? Like?
How are they occupying their time on these dates. Are
they just having conversations? It just seems so awkward to me. Yeah,
I think I think they run the gamut. I saw
a story the other day about a guy in New
York who like has started dating the girl across the street.
(11:40):
Did you say, have you seen this? Name is Jeremy Cohen,
and I guess he's a TikTok user, and it sort
of went viral on TikTok. But he saw a girl
dancing on He was on his balcony and across the
street there was a girl dancing on her roof and
he like yelled for her and like waved to her,
and she waved back. And then he used his drone.
He wrote his phone member on the she to paper
(12:00):
uses drone, flew his number to her, and an hour
later she texted him. So they were going back and forth,
and then he arranged with her roommate a dinner date
where she was at a table on her roof and
he was at a table on his balcony and they
had wine and like ate dinner and FaceTime. And then
he got one of those blow up bubbles and went
(12:21):
out and they walked down the street together where she
was not in the bubble and he was in the bubble.
Oh my god, this is extreme there. It's like Mom
and Dad, tell us your love story. He's like, well,
I took my room. Casual. Cool. It's just another modern
day romances involving a grone in a bubble, right the
(12:43):
world we live in now, it's funny and scary. Didn't
you say you have a friend? He was? He has
in an avid dating life right now on UM, so
what is his own dating apps? Right? Yeah, he's um,
I think he's using Rya mostly. Okay. Is he a celebrity.
He is not a celebrity, but he works in that
(13:05):
I think it was. That's what it was originally. Not
you still have to be like invited. Um, but yeah,
he's dating like, like he said, five people. There's like
two girls in l A, one in New York, one
in Denver, and he's literally killing the isolation game here. Okay,
I think we should get him on the phone and
see if he can fill us in on what kind
(13:26):
of dates this guy you know that's that are happening
right now. His name is Chris, he's he's also in
the music business. Um, he's a manager and hopefully he's
up there he comes a great picture. Hello, y hi, Hello,
(13:49):
we did it. We did it. You look a lot
more cleaned up than the rest of us. Did you shower?
I so, I yeah, I did shower. But it's also
part of my like daily quarantine routine to just keep
from falling into like what day is it? What am
I doing with my life? Right basically in my life
right now, I'm still. I mean, as long as you
(14:11):
have like pajamas for morning and pajamas for night and
you kind of between. It just depends on the day, Chris,
depends on the day. You know, happy Friday, right is it? What?
What is it? What's today? Yes? Happy today? Um? So
we ship and I have been talking and we are
(14:33):
so fascinated by your dating situation right now. I mean,
it seriously sounds like you are killing the game. I mean,
I don't know if I'm it's sad, but thank you
for a global pandemic. I feel like girls are coming
out of the woodworks and actually wanted for the first time.
Whatever it takes. Man, You know, dating is tough out there.
(14:54):
You gotta do what you gotta do. I know, right,
so you are are you juggling? I have women at
this point is that what I was, I mean, over
the course of the whole I guess quarantine. There's been
a series of people have fallen in and out. There's
been a couple of crash and burn situations. There's been
(15:14):
a couple that have just definitely friend zone kind of
thing where I've now just become like a cook mentor
or just like a daily like therapy session. But I
say there's right now, there's there's consistently i'd say three
girls that are I'm currently talking to dating. Wow. I
(15:34):
mean that's a lot to ruggle. You're actually very busy
in isolation, it sounds have you Have you had any
like slip ups or you like mentioned something about one girl? No,
thank no. I actually was like really worried about that,
and I started kind of like, Okay, do I need
to keep me remembered. But I think, because this is
all that's really happening right now, you actually are really
(15:56):
paying at tension to like when you're with them and
face timing or do and whatever. So knock on wood,
that hasn't happened. But I hope to god that's not
like in my future. Because yeah, so you said you've
become their cook or their therapists. So what like, what
are you guys doing on these facetimes? Are you facetiming?
(16:17):
Is that what's happening? Yeah? So what's funny is it's um,
it all depends on the person. Like there's one girl
that it started where very randomly. I was just like, Hey,
I don't know if you're into this, but I'm gonna
start a puzzle. I've never been into puzzling, but I'm
going to get a thousand piece puzzle. Because we have
(16:37):
a lot of time on our hands. I was like,
do you maybe want to do a puzzle together? Because
I was like, how, Like, we don't know how long
we're in this. So I was like like, how are
you like I need something to kind of entertain it
or whatever? Um, And she was like, yeah, let's do it.
Send me a link. So we got the same puzzle.
So we FaceTime and work on a puzzle. And I
(16:59):
was just like, Okay, I don't know how this is
gonna go. And we probably on average are like facetiming
for about four hours a night. What it's crazy, It's wild.
It's crazy. Like the first PiZZ that it happened, what's
that at the puzzle. Oh, I definitely am Like it's
definitely sparks like a lot of issues amongst her friends. Um,
(17:23):
she has like a like a like a friend group,
and I guess obviously I've been like a topic of
conversation because they're all married and they're like she's the
one single one kind of like me, where I'm like
one of the few single ones where everyone's like living
vicariously through me, and her friends are are legit. She
told me, She's like, yeah, I'm I need a couple
of days off to get the puzzle to like where
(17:44):
you're because I only have like maybe like ten pieces
left UMO. But it was huge. She was like, you
are distracting, Like I you know, I've been really enjoying
our commerci. She's in Brooklyn, Okay, Okay, so you're in
Los Angeles, right, San Diego? San Diego? Okay. I new
it was California. So that's a very long distance relationship.
(18:06):
Crazy how isolation can bring us. All of these are
all all around, Like the closest one is like away
and you haven't you haven't met any of them prior
to this. How would he meet them? I didn't know
if they were like any of it was happening before
quarantine started. They're there. Actually there was there was one
(18:32):
two of two of well actually, so there's two girls
that um live in l A that I was supposed
to go on a date with, and it was around
the time of when everybody was kind of getting ready
at work to like, okay, we're gonna work from home.
There's like that week where it was like, let's take
a Tuesday Thursday and see we can kind of withstand this.
(18:53):
And then basically once the company is realized that everybody
stayed at home. So around that time I had a
date planned with UM, a girl that basically it kind
of went south because of quarantine. So we've done like
a couple and we had mutual friends. It was kind
of like we didn't meet on an app. It was
like we were kind of set up from friends because
(19:14):
we've done a couple of like group based times that
have kind of helped. Because we're supposed to have a date,
it kind of canceled because of like a work obligation.
So we've kept in touch. So it's one of those
like there's not so much pressure on it because we
have mutual friends and there's been this kind of like
banter um. There is a girl that I did meet
on a dating app that we were supposed to meet prior,
(19:36):
and poor thing. I feel it's just completely gone off
the rails where now it's like every few days, like
she doesn't want to be that person that like texts
and communicates, but I'll randomly get a FaceTime from her
and it's just like we made it to this day,
and she'll like take a shot and then leave, and
I'm just like yeah, yeah, no, no, no, there's definitely
(19:59):
there's into that that I have legit dodged bullets with
and I I've thought about like what happened if we'd
actually be quarantined together. That would be a nightmare. Oh yeah,
so that isn't a risk of this, Like if you
actually go see someone, what if you guys both get
it and then you're just like stuck together for fourteen days.
It's crazy because I feel like this time, I guess
(20:22):
the good thing with this pandemic if it is like
you're definitely seeing like their raw side, like it is real.
The honeymoon phases over, so you're definitely seeing people that
are like hitting a breaking point where you're kind of
like normally, it's like when you date, you have like
the month or two or whatever it is where everyone's
putting their best foot forward. I mean, there's one girl
(20:43):
that I'm consistently talking to where straight up it all
started where she was freaking out because she's like I
can't get my xanic and I'm losing it, and I'm like,
this is amazing. Yeah, I know she was. I Mean
it got to a point where I was like trying
to be like, do you want to call it into
my pharmacy and I can like fed exited to you,
(21:03):
like I'm not. I'm like I was. I didn't know
what to do. I felt helpless and pore. Thing was
just spiraling. But she's She's definitely the one where I'll
get like a FaceTime a like two in the morning
and she's just like I've slept all day, I'm drinking
wine in bed, like how are you? And I'm like, okay,
here we go. Yeah, like you said, you're seeing you're
seeing everyone kind of going through stuff. I mean, because
(21:26):
we all are right like, I mean three in the afternoon,
so it's not like a normal normal time. So it's
like it would be really easy to sort of like
slip into I mean, a lot of us don't have
much going on, so there's not a whole lot to
talk about. But you mentioned a game that you've been playing.
The DoD's a little deeper. Um oh yeah, yeah, so
(21:48):
right before right before Quarantine or whatever, I um kind
of backstory. I uh that Lady Brennie Brown kind of
like SHO show. Yeah, And so I watched that and
I kind of dove deep on her and started reading
some of her books about vulnerability. And I came across
(22:10):
an instagram that a friends at me and was like,
I think that you would love this. It's totally email.
Most dudes don't like it, but I feel like you
would like it. And it's called We're Not Really Strangers
and they have a card game. So I was like,
you know what, I'm just gonna buy it whatever. Um
and it's actually a card game about connection. There's like
all these different levels where you ask a partner these questions,
(22:32):
and so I uh, starting with the Puzzle Girl and
then the the Xanex girl. If we have nicknames, I
kind of I kind of was like, hey, I have
this game, or if I've never played it, because I
don't even know if I'm playing it correctly, because you're
supposed to do it in person, but you basically start
asking questions and it allows like a deep dive conversation
(22:56):
about kind of opening up and being vulnerable, and so
that's actually really helped a lot of these conversations where
it's not just like we're face timing and playing a puzzle,
but it's like we're actually asking each other questions. And
then you kind of get off on like a tangent,
go down a rabbit hole. And it's actually really hasty
to see people that are actually leaning into the time
(23:18):
and just going okay, because I think I think everybody
does crave attention, but in a normal world, you have
so many distractions from what I'm experiencing right now. People
are definitely I think missing that and they're kind of
leaning in, which is I think kind of helping to
build like an emotional connection with somebody. Give us some
(23:39):
examples of the questions of that game, because I think
Chip was telling me about it and he said, you
just describe the different levels. So some of them are
kind of, you know, a little like easier, right, and
then get yeah. So it's basically from my understanding. It's
basically broken into three levels, where the first group of
(23:59):
questions are all about the impression that you have of
the other and what they give off and how like
how well you kind of like read someone, um let
me grab so like some of the questions that says,
do I remind you of anyone? Um? What does my
Instagram tell you about me? Uh? Do you think I
(24:20):
fall in love easily? Why? Or why not? So a
lot of it is just based on um, like you're however,
like you you kind of come off to that person
just on a like a like a one dimensional level,
whether it's they add you on Instagram or just the
first impression kind of thing. But if you didn't tell
them that you were pulling from cards and for the
(24:41):
questions that I ever met, I know my my my
best friend's wife said the same thing. She was like,
why are you telling these girls about the game like
you would just seeing like the most amazing sweetheart of
a guy. And I was like, wait, do I not
come off that way? So I'm like myself, I'm like,
(25:02):
what is going on? So it's kind of like the
first the first kind of level, and then the second
one is just straight like rarely ask questions that really
allow you to kind of like dive deep. And that
was the one that ship we played on the Happy
Hour where you kind of got go around. But um, yeah,
it's I mean there's there's like are you missing anyone
(25:24):
right now? Do you think they're missing you? Two? Um
describe your perfect day? Is there a feeling that you miss?
How can you become a better person? And it's it's
interesting to kind of see people actually take it kind
of seriercely because I think a lot of these questions
are things that like you want to know about somebody,
(25:44):
but you always feel a little like weird to like
you're at dinner and ram or you're just like, so,
how are you feeling? You know? Well, it's definitely giving
people the opportunity to think a little bit more. I
think we all fall into these dating you know, to
consistent kind of questions or you have this this way
that you always go about things in life is just
(26:06):
not that way right now? So what an interesting concept
to start getting a little deeper, especially so early. If
what if you I'm so curious, like, if you start
there with somebody, how is this gonna keep going into
the future? You know? I mean that it's a it's
a good question because I think, yeah, it's funny because
a couple of these conversations we kind of discuss love
(26:29):
is blind, right, and obviously because we're able to at
least see each other, I think it also kind of
is similar in the sense of, like you are kind
of forming this emotional connection and you're kind of like
helping this person through this time and they're also helping you.
But like past all of the like strong emotional connection,
(26:51):
is there gonna be a physical connection that you can
kind of rely on? And so that's also a thing
right now, where you know, there's some conversations with girls
where I'm like, Okay, I definitely can feel like there
would be a physical connection post this. Others she was
just kind of like, I don't know. And it's also
the hard part too, She's kind of like, I don't
know how long we're going to be locked up with this.
(27:13):
So it's also a matter of like, am I gonna
be like I'm almost done with my puzzle? But I'm like,
so are we just gonna start ten more puzzles? Like
where does this go from here? So are you guys?
You're you said you guys are cooking together sometimes too,
so it's like puzzles, cooking this game. What are some
of the other things you do? Like how are you
passing four hours together? I honest to go, I mean, listen,
(27:36):
you start to realize, like how much time you actually
have um cooking one it's merely I think. I think
I was like friend zoned by that girl, but I
love cooking and she's like, I'm miserable at it. So
it's merely just been like I'll help her like cook
with recipes or talker kind of through things. But I
do have actual with two the girls and they've actually
(27:58):
asked me after like doing the puzzle and also another
girl where we did like a happy hour FaceTime. Two
of the girls have been like, hey, would you like
to have dinner on FaceTime this week? And I'm like,
the girls are leading, girls are leading, which I'm like,
I love like a strong confident woman. So do you
plan like on these dinners? Do you all eat the
(28:21):
same thing? I think? I mean, we haven't really gotten
into it, but I've literally pulled up cookbooks to be like, Okay,
what like if we have to do the same kind
of situation, how are we going to do it, so
I guess TB D if there, if there could be,
like I'll follow up with you and let you know
after Friday and Sunday. Yeah, please keep us posted. I'm
(28:42):
really yeah, I'm very interested in how this is going
to continue on. Yeah, I love the idea of that
the card game, because you know, from personal experience, like
when you date, like everyone's you know, I feel like
most people when they when they're at the beginning of
like a dating cycle, they are always constantly trying to
put their best foot forward, Like you want to look great,
(29:03):
you wanna be funny, you want to be as attractive
as possible to this person. Whereas like if you kind
of cut through that bullshit right in the beginning and
go a little bit deeper, I feel like it could
give it gives the long term relationship a lot more
hope because, um, you've sort of let your guard down
(29:23):
very early. Yeah, you're seeing the real stuff, honestly right
from the get go. It's not right. No one's like
playing a role. Yeah. Well, and also too, I think
I think there's no room to kind of which I
think happens a lot to fall in love with the
idea of somebody right right you kind of you have
this whatever idea or perception and do they kind of
(29:46):
fit in your life? Based on these few little things,
I think it cuts through and it really gets into
like you realizing like who you're actually dealing with, and
also are they emotionally on the same level as you,
which I think is just that at least I've been
lacking a lot of times in previous relationships. Um, So
it's kind of like a sped up but also I
(30:07):
think helps long term. I'm maybe forecasting. I don't know,
time will tell. Um, could you see yourself in the
y of these women long terms? As of right now,
I'd say that they're definitely. They're definitely moments where I
find myself throughout a day kind of thinking about the person,
(30:31):
kind of missing them. It was funny. I was this
one girl was talking to Uh. We're just talking about
like music because we both kind of work in the
same industry, and she mentioned some of her favorite artists
and randomly, um Spotify playlists came on in a song
and I was like, wait a minute, and I sent
it to her and I said, hey, just you know
this just popped on. Was thinking about you and she
(30:52):
was like, oh my god, you actually listen to me
and like wow, like and it was the and then
it's kind of sparked this whole kind of conversation where
she was just like wow, like no one's ever kind
of like come to me before, where it was like
I said, just something, so like what you think is
like minimal, but I guess like in right now, it
(31:13):
kind of holds a lot of gravity. So you find you're,
at least for myself, I'm finding times where you know,
and I think on top of it too, you're also
just like there for somebody while all of this is
going on. Sure, I'm just curious if this will change dating, Like,
if this lasts long enough, I wonder if this is
going to have a real flootprint on how dating is
(31:33):
done in the future. It's a very interesting thought, So
I hope. So, I mean, I really do think that,
Like I guess the takeaway from is we kind of
needed this to happen to kind of realize maybe what
we took for granted, but also how much we actually
genuinely crave human connection, you know. Um, And I think
(31:58):
at least for me, you know, I think for so
long I used to hate, Like I have a love
hate with dating apps just because no one wants to communicate,
nobody wants to dive deep, nobody wants to take it
off the app, and there's always this constant like, Yo,
we matched you like my profile, I liked yours. Trying
to put the best foot forward. I'm trying to like engage,
like we're on a dating app. That's the concept here, um,
(32:22):
And I think, you know, people get so distracted with
like daily lives and they're also just thinking about the
next best possibility of the person they haven't met. And
I think right now people are realizing at least in
my situation. Granted, I could be completely different than other
(32:42):
guys that are dating during quarantine right now, but I'm
more so I'm just also like I just even if
I get nothing out of it, like than a friend,
but at least, like, can I be there for somebody
and like learn about myself in the process. Yeah, I
hope this kind of changes dating in the sense that
like it forces people to be vulnerable moving forward, like
(33:08):
love is blind and now that's like who knows what
the world's coming to? You know, Well, I think it
would be it's safe to say that everything in the
world is shifting right now, so I wouldn't be surprised
if dating is another thing that does as well. Thank
you for sharing with us. I'm very fascinated by the
fact that this is still happening. I thought dating would
just be done right now, so very very intol part
(33:31):
is definitely done right now. But yeah, yeah, you keep
us posted on that. Have you gotten any pictures? How's
that working right now? No, it's funny. A lot of
my friends were like, Yo, when are the photos happen now?
To be honest, it's funny. I haven't even thought about
going there. Uh there's just been the like random like
cheers kind of selfies, but definitely no. Um, well, I
(33:53):
think the point of like sending sexy pics at this point,
like is a bit pointless because it's leading nowhere now right.
I mean, if somebody wants to really like torture you,
I guess like you're yeah, okay, you're the devil. I'm
going to meet you right now, because that's not gonna help,
or maybe like quarantine stuff I don't I don't know,
(34:17):
then you're gonna be quarantine tickets to New York here
I come. I mean right, travel is so cheap. Well,
I think this is the perfect example of acting casual
and figuring out a better solutions. So thank you so
much for sharing with us. Please keep us updated, especially
if you get okay. And I mean I think this
(34:40):
is the great point of all of this for all
of us, and that's just to always remain what else
I totally set you up wrong. Always to remain at casual.
I can't even speak in isolation anymore. This is everybody
just always casual. Five
This is Kelly Henderson and you are listening to Act
Casual on the Velvet Edge podcast. This was our last
episode recorded via zoom call. We gave it a go
in isolation, and I'm just not happy with the sound
quality entirely, so we will be using a different method
going forward. I just wanted to give you guys the
heads up that I am completely aware of the tiny
sound glitches in this episode. This week, Chip and I
(00:22):
are addressing quarantine, dating and the fact that, amongst all
the things that are changing in our current world, like
the fact that I recorded this episode at three fifteen
and was still in my pajamas, dating is the one
thing that is not changing. And actually, if it's changing,
it might just be getting better. See what we're talking about.
Here's our conversation. The light's kind of nice right now,
(00:45):
Oh Golden hour, you're feeling like you found your lights?
I mean maybe, I certainly didn't find my hairstyle though.
I'm very speaking of hair, like I literally just found
out that I have a situation a nest growing back here.
Is that real hair that was rude? Shots fired? Man? Yes,
(01:07):
it is real hair. Thank you for asking how long
would your hair be if all your fake hair fell out,
it's just like you make it like it's like I
am balding and I only have fake hair happening. This
volume might know that. But the truth is is I
had it super long, you know, and then I just
(01:28):
decided to cut it and it it kind of matches
my normal hair. Now we had to keep cutting my
normal hair to match the extensions. I just now, Yeah,
I just got like it's like this full head of
hair although it hasn't been washed. I can't. I mean,
I can't even remember. It's great, I think. Let me
just tell you, let me just show you what's happening.
Right now. I'm still in still so because it's three
(01:51):
fifteen in the afternoon. The only reason I have on
this little excuse me, this little jacket situation is that
it I went outside for a second, it's chili to day.
It's a little colder than you think because it's so sunny,
and I love it. But right, but anyway, the situation is,
I don't know. This is like life and quarantine, I guess,
(02:11):
or isolation. I've shoved my dogs into the backyard for this,
so they're not barking during it, but they're lucky because
it's nice and sunny, so they're just it's a beautiful
day in Nashville. So I mean we're kind of touching
on an interesting topic here that life has changed a
lot for most of us. But we were talking the
other day and dating is somehow still happening, which is
(02:34):
blowing my mind, like how is this still happening? Well,
I think, um, you know, some of the reading that
I've been doing about it, like I think a lot
of it's just out of boredom. Like a lot of
these dating apps are seeing a spike in usage because
everyone's got their device in their hand because they don't
know what else to do. Well, And then I was
reading on Glamour um that a lot of the research
(02:55):
is coming back that the need for human connection right
now is even greater than it's ever been, Like we
always need that, but right now specifically, especially if you're
isolated alone all day, think about that, you really really
need that human connection. So people are seeking it out
even more than normal. Well, and I think too, it's um,
(03:17):
there's people have time to actually do vote to that
connection where it's like you know, it's well, I feel
like I've done I've done a lot of online dating attempts,
and um, a lot of it's so surface, and some
of that comes comes with the fact that, like you know,
you're busy in your everyday life, you don't have a
(03:37):
lot of right look to it. And now, because the
time exists, you're actually able to get like a little
bit deeper with some of these people that you might
not have even given the time a day before. That's
a great point because we actually are seeking out something
a little more than just let's go grab a drink,
because you can't go just grab a drink, right and
you can't just hook it up, So I guess you're
looking for more than that, maybe even if developing a
(04:00):
friendship first, which is kind of how dating should be, right. Yeah, well, honestly,
it's like it's it's funny because I feel like online
dating or app dating or whatever you wanna call it,
like has had such a bad rap, like people think,
you know of it as like the modern version of
uh like answering the classified in the newspaper or something.
(04:22):
But for me, the experience of doing it, like I
loved it because there were so many like red flags
that you could point out or like what's the opposite
of a red flag a white flag, that a green flag,
green flag, that's trademark that um. But like if someone
can't spell, like or you know you have this thing
(04:44):
was spelling, you have read this upon, you have a
real problem if you missed the words. My grandmother was
a proof reader, so that maybe there's something it seems
like something, you know, the apple might not have fallen
that far from the tree here though, I'm really about
editing my own emails and stuff, so which is just
(05:06):
critical of you, but right exactly, But no, I think
that like it gives you the opportunity to like sort
of um, notice things about people that aren't just physical
and um, and you can give yourself the opportunity to
m are the time to sort of like get to
know somebody before committing in any sort of way. Whereas
(05:27):
like if you just meet someone at a bar, it's
generally a physical reaction and you're like, let's go get
a drink. The next thing you know, you're at drinks
with like someone who's super lame and you have zero
connection with. Right. See, I've never done online dating because
of exactly what you're talking about. I need that I
need to know if there's that chemistry first, like the
in person feeling that you get when you see someone
(05:49):
and maybe you're interested in You'll have that, right. I
always say that banter or that you just have that connection,
you know, you can tell right away with somebody totally. Yeah.
So have you been dating at all in this isolation period?
I haven't. Um, yeah, no, I just haven't. Like, in fact,
I haven't really been doing much of it prior you know,
(06:10):
this year at all, prior to the whole coronavirus thing.
So for me, um yeah, I kind of feel like
it's a little pointless. Um So I'm like, I'm not
going to get sucked into like some conversations with people
that I'm just like sort of forcing it because I
feel like if I got online right now and started
to try and meet somebody, it would be more out
(06:31):
of just boredom and like forcing myself to do it
versus act like you're not actually really yeah, you're not
actually interested in dating? Interesting, well, if you do decide
a date. Glamour also gave some tips on which which
actual apps are the best for certain things, which I
thought was interesting. They say that Okay, Cupid is the
best for long term relationships interesting, which I've never heard.
(06:55):
Have you heard that? No? I mean I didn't even
know they were still in business to be on Okay.
Well clearly they are. I mean, honestly, I don't know
anyone on Okay keep it. But they say it's because
the woman reaches out first, which isn't that the way
bumble is. That's how Bumble is too. I think so
anytime the woman is messaging first. I don't really know
why that is more of a long term situation, but
(07:17):
maybe because most of the girls on there are looking
for that, Yeah, I think that's probably it. Um you know,
it's I think that a lot of them, you know,
Tinder was the hook up app, you know, right at
the gate, so's I think each of them have their
own sort of underground like personality. Um yeah, barking it's
(07:38):
kind of driving me crazy, but um yeah, I think
they all have like sort of a known even in
the gay world. Um, you know, I think the Grinder
is looked at as like the Tinder version of of dating.
It's just all about hooking up. And there are some
that are a little bit more that are like sort
of dating bent right. Well, they say for over forty
(08:03):
the best one is match, which actually, you know what,
that makes sense to me, And honestly, the only success
stories that I've ever heard from dating apps like long
term that lead to marriage are on match dot com.
M My sister actually met her husband on an app
called plenty Plenty of Fish dot com. Oh yeah, plenty
of Fish. Yeah, yeah, that's an interesting one. She met
(08:26):
some dude on e Harmony that and it didn't work out.
She thought she was going to marry him, but it
didn't work out. That's a shame. Well, and it happens
a lot of these dating sites. Yeah they Have you
heard of this site called Love is Quarantine? It's a
new Instagram account. Oh yeah, I have seen it. I
didn't um, I haven't like really dug into it. But yeah,
(08:49):
aren't people like dating on it? They're matching people? Yes,
So apparently the founders of this site, which oddly enough,
for my neighbors, I mean the neighbors of my photographer
for Velvit's edge. She lives in Brooklyn and they live
next to order her. So this is how I found
out about it. But they're huge fans of that show
Love Is Blind, which obviously you and I both are
as well, and so they loved the concept of the
(09:10):
pods and they're like, Okay, well now we're all isolated,
so how do we take that concept and make it
into something that works during this isolation period. So the
way they set it up is you do these spread
They have a Google spreadsheet basically, and this is how
they're matching people. You just get you get it on
the phone and you talk to somebody. So sometimes the
conversations are great, just like they were in the Pods.
(09:31):
Sometimes they're terrible. And they document all this on their
Instagram account and it's it's rapidly growing. Like in this
Glamor article that they were talking about it, they were saying, Um,
the way that you get in is you just d
M them, And so they are also saying it might
be difficult to get in right now because it's so popular. Yes, yes,
(09:51):
I'm looking at Love is Quarantine. Here we go. Yeah,
I'm gonna have to dig in more. Maybe you should
do it. It would be entertaining for us. I'll take
one the team. Maybe maybe I will. I actually saw
there's a new dating app called UM. It's called Quarantine
Together UM, and it's actually pretty interesting. UM concept Basically,
(10:15):
it's a text based app and every night at six pm,
the registered users get a text asking them if they
washed their hands, and if they say yes, they are
then matched with another user by text and they have
to text for fifteen minutes before they get sent a
link to where they can video chat. Okay, so the
(10:36):
only rule for this side is that you have to
wash your hand? Do agree that you have washed your hands? Yeah?
How can they prove that? I mean, I guess they
don't have to. I mean, it's probably just like a
nice little reminder. It's like, do you know the password?
The password is washing your hands? I mean, my hands
are about to fall off? Are yours? Like they're literally
(10:56):
my knuckles they're so drawn. But I'll so like, if
you know, if your hands aren't dry right now, and
I see that you have well moisturized, healthy hands, like,
don't come near me, but maybe somebody sleeping in gloves
of vasseline or something, you know, Yeah, I'm about to
start doing that, even Lingloria Trick. My biggest question about
all of this dating stuff is what are people doing
(11:19):
to Like? What are these dates? Is it a phone call? Like?
How are they occupying their time on these dates. Are
they just having conversations? It just seems so awkward to me. Yeah,
I think I think they run the gamut. I saw
a story the other day about a guy in New
York who like has started dating the girl across the street.
(11:40):
Did you say, have you seen this? Name is Jeremy Cohen,
and I guess he's a TikTok user, and it sort
of went viral on TikTok. But he saw a girl
dancing on He was on his balcony and across the
street there was a girl dancing on her roof and
he like yelled for her and like waved to her,
and she waved back. And then he used his drone.
He wrote his phone member on the she to paper
(12:00):
uses drone, flew his number to her, and an hour
later she texted him. So they were going back and forth,
and then he arranged with her roommate a dinner date
where she was at a table on her roof and
he was at a table on his balcony and they
had wine and like ate dinner and FaceTime. And then
he got one of those blow up bubbles and went
(12:21):
out and they walked down the street together where she
was not in the bubble and he was in the bubble.
Oh my god, this is extreme there. It's like Mom
and Dad, tell us your love story. He's like, well,
I took my room. Casual. Cool. It's just another modern
day romances involving a grone in a bubble, right the
(12:43):
world we live in now, it's funny and scary. Didn't
you say you have a friend? He was? He has
in an avid dating life right now on UM, so
what is his own dating apps? Right? Yeah, he's um,
I think he's using Rya mostly. Okay. Is he a celebrity.
He is not a celebrity, but he works in that
(13:05):
I think it was. That's what it was originally. Not
you still have to be like invited. Um, but yeah,
he's dating like, like he said, five people. There's like
two girls in l A, one in New York, one
in Denver, and he's literally killing the isolation game here. Okay,
I think we should get him on the phone and
see if he can fill us in on what kind
(13:26):
of dates this guy you know that's that are happening
right now. His name is Chris, he's he's also in
the music business. Um, he's a manager and hopefully he's
up there he comes a great picture. Hello, y hi, Hello,
(13:49):
we did it. We did it. You look a lot
more cleaned up than the rest of us. Did you shower?
I so, I yeah, I did shower. But it's also
part of my like daily quarantine routine to just keep
from falling into like what day is it? What am
I doing with my life? Right basically in my life
right now, I'm still. I mean, as long as you
(14:11):
have like pajamas for morning and pajamas for night and
you kind of between. It just depends on the day, Chris,
depends on the day. You know, happy Friday, right is it? What?
What is it? What's today? Yes? Happy today? Um? So
we ship and I have been talking and we are
(14:33):
so fascinated by your dating situation right now. I mean,
it seriously sounds like you are killing the game. I mean,
I don't know if I'm it's sad, but thank you
for a global pandemic. I feel like girls are coming
out of the woodworks and actually wanted for the first time.
Whatever it takes. Man, You know, dating is tough out there.
(14:54):
You gotta do what you gotta do. I know, right,
so you are are you juggling? I have women at
this point is that what I was, I mean, over
the course of the whole I guess quarantine. There's been
a series of people have fallen in and out. There's
been a couple of crash and burn situations. There's been
(15:14):
a couple that have just definitely friend zone kind of
thing where I've now just become like a cook mentor
or just like a daily like therapy session. But I
say there's right now, there's there's consistently i'd say three
girls that are I'm currently talking to dating. Wow. I
(15:34):
mean that's a lot to ruggle. You're actually very busy
in isolation, it sounds have you Have you had any
like slip ups or you like mentioned something about one girl? No,
thank no. I actually was like really worried about that,
and I started kind of like, Okay, do I need
to keep me remembered. But I think, because this is
all that's really happening right now, you actually are really
(15:56):
paying at tension to like when you're with them and
face timing or do and whatever. So knock on wood,
that hasn't happened. But I hope to god that's not
like in my future. Because yeah, so you said you've
become their cook or their therapists. So what like, what
are you guys doing on these facetimes? Are you facetiming?
(16:17):
Is that what's happening? Yeah? So what's funny is it's um,
it all depends on the person. Like there's one girl
that it started where very randomly. I was just like, Hey,
I don't know if you're into this, but I'm gonna
start a puzzle. I've never been into puzzling, but I'm
going to get a thousand piece puzzle. Because we have
(16:37):
a lot of time on our hands. I was like,
do you maybe want to do a puzzle together? Because
I was like, how, Like, we don't know how long
we're in this. So I was like like, how are
you like I need something to kind of entertain it
or whatever? Um, And she was like, yeah, let's do it.
Send me a link. So we got the same puzzle.
So we FaceTime and work on a puzzle. And I
(16:59):
was just like, Okay, I don't know how this is
gonna go. And we probably on average are like facetiming
for about four hours a night. What it's crazy, It's wild.
It's crazy. Like the first PiZZ that it happened, what's
that at the puzzle. Oh, I definitely am Like it's
definitely sparks like a lot of issues amongst her friends. Um,
(17:23):
she has like a like a like a friend group,
and I guess obviously I've been like a topic of
conversation because they're all married and they're like she's the
one single one kind of like me, where I'm like
one of the few single ones where everyone's like living
vicariously through me, and her friends are are legit. She
told me, She's like, yeah, I'm I need a couple
of days off to get the puzzle to like where
(17:44):
you're because I only have like maybe like ten pieces
left UMO. But it was huge. She was like, you
are distracting, Like I you know, I've been really enjoying
our commerci. She's in Brooklyn, Okay, Okay, so you're in
Los Angeles, right, San Diego? San Diego? Okay. I new
it was California. So that's a very long distance relationship.
(18:06):
Crazy how isolation can bring us. All of these are
all all around, Like the closest one is like away
and you haven't you haven't met any of them prior
to this. How would he meet them? I didn't know
if they were like any of it was happening before
quarantine started. They're there. Actually there was there was one
(18:32):
two of two of well actually, so there's two girls
that um live in l A that I was supposed
to go on a date with, and it was around
the time of when everybody was kind of getting ready
at work to like, okay, we're gonna work from home.
There's like that week where it was like, let's take
a Tuesday Thursday and see we can kind of withstand this.
(18:53):
And then basically once the company is realized that everybody
stayed at home. So around that time I had a
date planned with UM, a girl that basically it kind
of went south because of quarantine. So we've done like
a couple and we had mutual friends. It was kind
of like we didn't meet on an app. It was
like we were kind of set up from friends because
(19:14):
we've done a couple of like group based times that
have kind of helped. Because we're supposed to have a date,
it kind of canceled because of like a work obligation.
So we've kept in touch. So it's one of those
like there's not so much pressure on it because we
have mutual friends and there's been this kind of like
banter um. There is a girl that I did meet
on a dating app that we were supposed to meet prior,
(19:36):
and poor thing. I feel it's just completely gone off
the rails where now it's like every few days, like
she doesn't want to be that person that like texts
and communicates, but I'll randomly get a FaceTime from her
and it's just like we made it to this day,
and she'll like take a shot and then leave, and
I'm just like yeah, yeah, no, no, no, there's definitely
(19:59):
there's into that that I have legit dodged bullets with
and I I've thought about like what happened if we'd
actually be quarantined together. That would be a nightmare. Oh yeah,
so that isn't a risk of this, Like if you
actually go see someone, what if you guys both get
it and then you're just like stuck together for fourteen days.
It's crazy because I feel like this time, I guess
(20:22):
the good thing with this pandemic if it is like
you're definitely seeing like their raw side, like it is real.
The honeymoon phases over, so you're definitely seeing people that
are like hitting a breaking point where you're kind of
like normally, it's like when you date, you have like
the month or two or whatever it is where everyone's
putting their best foot forward. I mean, there's one girl
(20:43):
that I'm consistently talking to where straight up it all
started where she was freaking out because she's like I
can't get my xanic and I'm losing it, and I'm like,
this is amazing. Yeah, I know she was. I Mean
it got to a point where I was like trying
to be like, do you want to call it into
my pharmacy and I can like fed exited to you,
(21:03):
like I'm not. I'm like I was. I didn't know
what to do. I felt helpless and pore. Thing was
just spiraling. But she's She's definitely the one where I'll
get like a FaceTime a like two in the morning
and she's just like I've slept all day, I'm drinking
wine in bed, like how are you? And I'm like, okay,
here we go. Yeah, like you said, you're seeing you're
seeing everyone kind of going through stuff. I mean, because
(21:26):
we all are right like, I mean three in the afternoon,
so it's not like a normal normal time. So it's
like it would be really easy to sort of like
slip into I mean, a lot of us don't have
much going on, so there's not a whole lot to
talk about. But you mentioned a game that you've been playing.
The DoD's a little deeper. Um oh yeah, yeah, so
(21:48):
right before right before Quarantine or whatever, I um kind
of backstory. I uh that Lady Brennie Brown kind of
like SHO show. Yeah, And so I watched that and
I kind of dove deep on her and started reading
some of her books about vulnerability. And I came across
(22:10):
an instagram that a friends at me and was like,
I think that you would love this. It's totally email.
Most dudes don't like it, but I feel like you
would like it. And it's called We're Not Really Strangers
and they have a card game. So I was like,
you know what, I'm just gonna buy it whatever. Um
and it's actually a card game about connection. There's like
all these different levels where you ask a partner these questions,
(22:32):
and so I uh, starting with the Puzzle Girl and
then the the Xanex girl. If we have nicknames, I
kind of I kind of was like, hey, I have
this game, or if I've never played it, because I
don't even know if I'm playing it correctly, because you're
supposed to do it in person, but you basically start
asking questions and it allows like a deep dive conversation
(22:56):
about kind of opening up and being vulnerable, and so
that's actually really helped a lot of these conversations where
it's not just like we're face timing and playing a puzzle,
but it's like we're actually asking each other questions. And
then you kind of get off on like a tangent,
go down a rabbit hole. And it's actually really hasty
to see people that are actually leaning into the time
(23:18):
and just going okay, because I think I think everybody
does crave attention, but in a normal world, you have
so many distractions from what I'm experiencing right now. People
are definitely I think missing that and they're kind of
leaning in, which is I think kind of helping to
build like an emotional connection with somebody. Give us some
(23:39):
examples of the questions of that game, because I think
Chip was telling me about it and he said, you
just describe the different levels. So some of them are
kind of, you know, a little like easier, right, and
then get yeah. So it's basically from my understanding. It's
basically broken into three levels, where the first group of
(23:59):
questions are all about the impression that you have of
the other and what they give off and how like
how well you kind of like read someone, um let
me grab so like some of the questions that says,
do I remind you of anyone? Um? What does my
Instagram tell you about me? Uh? Do you think I
(24:20):
fall in love easily? Why? Or why not? So a
lot of it is just based on um, like you're however,
like you you kind of come off to that person
just on a like a like a one dimensional level,
whether it's they add you on Instagram or just the
first impression kind of thing. But if you didn't tell
them that you were pulling from cards and for the
(24:41):
questions that I ever met, I know my my my
best friend's wife said the same thing. She was like,
why are you telling these girls about the game like
you would just seeing like the most amazing sweetheart of
a guy. And I was like, wait, do I not
come off that way? So I'm like myself, I'm like,
(25:02):
what is going on? So it's kind of like the
first the first kind of level, and then the second
one is just straight like rarely ask questions that really
allow you to kind of like dive deep. And that
was the one that ship we played on the Happy
Hour where you kind of got go around. But um, yeah,
it's I mean there's there's like are you missing anyone
(25:24):
right now? Do you think they're missing you? Two? Um
describe your perfect day? Is there a feeling that you miss?
How can you become a better person? And it's it's
interesting to kind of see people actually take it kind
of seriercely because I think a lot of these questions
are things that like you want to know about somebody,
(25:44):
but you always feel a little like weird to like
you're at dinner and ram or you're just like, so,
how are you feeling? You know? Well, it's definitely giving
people the opportunity to think a little bit more. I
think we all fall into these dating you know, to
consistent kind of questions or you have this this way
that you always go about things in life is just
(26:06):
not that way right now? So what an interesting concept
to start getting a little deeper, especially so early. If
what if you I'm so curious, like, if you start
there with somebody, how is this gonna keep going into
the future? You know? I mean that it's a it's
a good question because I think, yeah, it's funny because
a couple of these conversations we kind of discuss love
(26:29):
is blind, right, and obviously because we're able to at
least see each other, I think it also kind of
is similar in the sense of, like you are kind
of forming this emotional connection and you're kind of like
helping this person through this time and they're also helping you.
But like past all of the like strong emotional connection,
(26:51):
is there gonna be a physical connection that you can
kind of rely on? And so that's also a thing
right now, where you know, there's some conversations with girls
where I'm like, Okay, I definitely can feel like there
would be a physical connection post this. Others she was
just kind of like, I don't know. And it's also
the hard part too, She's kind of like, I don't
know how long we're going to be locked up with this.
(27:13):
So it's also a matter of like, am I gonna
be like I'm almost done with my puzzle? But I'm like,
so are we just gonna start ten more puzzles? Like
where does this go from here? So are you guys?
You're you said you guys are cooking together sometimes too,
so it's like puzzles, cooking this game. What are some
of the other things you do? Like how are you
passing four hours together? I honest to go, I mean, listen,
(27:36):
you start to realize, like how much time you actually
have um cooking one it's merely I think. I think
I was like friend zoned by that girl, but I
love cooking and she's like, I'm miserable at it. So
it's merely just been like I'll help her like cook
with recipes or talker kind of through things. But I
do have actual with two the girls and they've actually
(27:58):
asked me after like doing the puzzle and also another
girl where we did like a happy hour FaceTime. Two
of the girls have been like, hey, would you like
to have dinner on FaceTime this week? And I'm like,
the girls are leading, girls are leading, which I'm like,
I love like a strong confident woman. So do you
plan like on these dinners? Do you all eat the
(28:21):
same thing? I think? I mean, we haven't really gotten
into it, but I've literally pulled up cookbooks to be like, Okay,
what like if we have to do the same kind
of situation, how are we going to do it, so
I guess TB D if there, if there could be,
like I'll follow up with you and let you know
after Friday and Sunday. Yeah, please keep us posted. I'm
(28:42):
really yeah, I'm very interested in how this is going
to continue on. Yeah, I love the idea of that
the card game, because you know, from personal experience, like
when you date, like everyone's you know, I feel like
most people when they when they're at the beginning of
like a dating cycle, they are always constantly trying to
put their best foot forward, Like you want to look great,
(29:03):
you wanna be funny, you want to be as attractive
as possible to this person. Whereas like if you kind
of cut through that bullshit right in the beginning and
go a little bit deeper, I feel like it could
give it gives the long term relationship a lot more
hope because, um, you've sort of let your guard down
(29:23):
very early. Yeah, you're seeing the real stuff, honestly right
from the get go. It's not right. No one's like
playing a role. Yeah. Well, and also too, I think
I think there's no room to kind of which I
think happens a lot to fall in love with the
idea of somebody right right you kind of you have
this whatever idea or perception and do they kind of
(29:46):
fit in your life? Based on these few little things,
I think it cuts through and it really gets into
like you realizing like who you're actually dealing with, and
also are they emotionally on the same level as you,
which I think is just that at least I've been
lacking a lot of times in previous relationships. Um, So
it's kind of like a sped up but also I
(30:07):
think helps long term. I'm maybe forecasting. I don't know,
time will tell. Um, could you see yourself in the
y of these women long terms? As of right now,
I'd say that they're definitely. They're definitely moments where I
find myself throughout a day kind of thinking about the person,
(30:31):
kind of missing them. It was funny. I was this
one girl was talking to Uh. We're just talking about
like music because we both kind of work in the
same industry, and she mentioned some of her favorite artists
and randomly, um Spotify playlists came on in a song
and I was like, wait a minute, and I sent
it to her and I said, hey, just you know
this just popped on. Was thinking about you and she
(30:52):
was like, oh my god, you actually listen to me
and like wow, like and it was the and then
it's kind of sparked this whole kind of conversation where
she was just like wow, like no one's ever kind
of like come to me before, where it was like
I said, just something, so like what you think is
like minimal, but I guess like in right now, it
(31:13):
kind of holds a lot of gravity. So you find you're,
at least for myself, I'm finding times where you know,
and I think on top of it too, you're also
just like there for somebody while all of this is
going on. Sure, I'm just curious if this will change dating, Like,
if this lasts long enough, I wonder if this is
going to have a real flootprint on how dating is
(31:33):
done in the future. It's a very interesting thought, So
I hope. So, I mean, I really do think that,
Like I guess the takeaway from is we kind of
needed this to happen to kind of realize maybe what
we took for granted, but also how much we actually
genuinely crave human connection, you know. Um, And I think
(31:58):
at least for me, you know, I think for so
long I used to hate, Like I have a love
hate with dating apps just because no one wants to communicate,
nobody wants to dive deep, nobody wants to take it
off the app, and there's always this constant like, Yo,
we matched you like my profile, I liked yours. Trying
to put the best foot forward. I'm trying to like engage,
like we're on a dating app. That's the concept here, um,
(32:22):
And I think, you know, people get so distracted with
like daily lives and they're also just thinking about the
next best possibility of the person they haven't met. And
I think right now people are realizing at least in
my situation. Granted, I could be completely different than other
(32:42):
guys that are dating during quarantine right now, but I'm
more so I'm just also like I just even if
I get nothing out of it, like than a friend,
but at least, like, can I be there for somebody
and like learn about myself in the process. Yeah, I
hope this kind of changes dating in the sense that
like it forces people to be vulnerable moving forward, like
(33:08):
love is blind and now that's like who knows what
the world's coming to? You know, Well, I think it
would be it's safe to say that everything in the
world is shifting right now, so I wouldn't be surprised
if dating is another thing that does as well. Thank
you for sharing with us. I'm very fascinated by the
fact that this is still happening. I thought dating would
just be done right now, so very very intol part
(33:31):
is definitely done right now. But yeah, yeah, you keep
us posted on that. Have you gotten any pictures? How's
that working right now? No, it's funny. A lot of
my friends were like, Yo, when are the photos happen now?
To be honest, it's funny. I haven't even thought about
going there. Uh there's just been the like random like
cheers kind of selfies, but definitely no. Um, well, I
(33:53):
think the point of like sending sexy pics at this point,
like is a bit pointless because it's leading nowhere now right.
I mean, if somebody wants to really like torture you,
I guess like you're yeah, okay, you're the devil. I'm
going to meet you right now, because that's not gonna help,
or maybe like quarantine stuff I don't I don't know,
(34:17):
then you're gonna be quarantine tickets to New York here
I come. I mean right, travel is so cheap. Well,
I think this is the perfect example of acting casual
and figuring out a better solutions. So thank you so
much for sharing with us. Please keep us updated, especially
if you get okay. And I mean I think this
(34:40):
is the great point of all of this for all
of us, and that's just to always remain what else
I totally set you up wrong. Always to remain at casual.
I can't even speak in isolation anymore. This is everybody
just always casual. Five
Host
Kelly Henderson
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