May 4, 2020 • 36 mins
Kelly talks to stand up comedian and host of the J-Train and You Up? podcast, Jared Freid. Jared rants about his coronavirus isolation pet peeves, the transition of moving in with his girlfriend and the Bachelor’s Listen To Your Heart.
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https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/u-up/id1313996383
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is Kelly Henderson and you are listening to at
Home on the Velvet Edge podcast. My guest this week
is comedian Jared Fraid. Jared's Instagram account and memes have
been the silver lining for me to some dark days
during this isolation period, so I thought he would be
the perfect guest to give us all something to laugh about.
He's the host of the Jay Train podcast, which I
was a guest on. He's also the co host of
(00:21):
the U Up podcast with the girls from Betches. Obviously,
his stand up tour has been put on hold during
this pandemic, so we talked about how he is handling
isolating in New York City, moving in with his girlfriend,
and of course the Bachelor. Here's our conversation. All right,
so you're in New York. What in the world is
it like there right now? Well, it's so funny, Like,
(00:42):
I New York is fine, okay, but I'm also not
working in a hospital, you know, you know, I I'm
in a very luxurious position. But it is funny that
when I talked to Goe outside in New York, they're like,
how is it going there? And I'm like, it's fine,
and it's just very quiet. I'm not waiting through bodies
(01:04):
in the streets. It's not like that at all. Um.
It's actually there's parts of being in New York that
are probably that I enjoy better, like the fact that
I can go out for a walk and you know,
there are coffee places that are open, there's a bodego.
But you know, there's there's a little bit more going
on here than people would assume, considering you know, the
(01:26):
numbers and how New York has become like kind of
the uh you know, the top coronavirus place in some reguards, right.
I just imagine it to be so kind of eerie feeling,
even just because New York is so busy all the time. Yeah,
that's well, that's the it's eerie to look like I
live in an apartment building to look out on the
(01:47):
street in the morning and just see no cars, like
nobody's moving in and out of the city. Like I moved.
So I moved in with my girlfriend mid quarantine. Oh wow,
the changes. Yeah, so I moved with my girlfriend and um,
you know, the stressful part was all the stuff leading
(02:08):
into it. Will people cancel at the last second when
we get our couches. Well, the movers still do it?
How do you do it? But you know, but then
once you got to the move, it was actually easier
because there's no traffic. You could park that the truck
could be parked outside. No one was beeping at you
being like get the funk out of the way, like
it actually you know, And and this is it's it's
(02:30):
so tough because we live in this world of black
and white and the reality is all nuanced and in
the in between, so like some people's lives are better
in quarantine, like and and no one wants to admit
that because then someone comes at you and goes, stave
(02:51):
are dying and my grandmother's and it's like and it's like, no, obviously,
that's obviously. I know that I'm an adult, I had
parents brought me up. I'm closer to you than than
any you know, we're all closer to one another's feelings.
I'm just saying that a mover when I looked at
the movers and I was like, so, what's this like?
And they were like, there's no traffic. It's sucking great.
(03:12):
It's like that it goes two, you know, and and
go ahead. I'm sorry. I was just gonna say. My
boyfriend says all the time, he's like living his best
life right now. I think if you can pay your bills,
it's like it's not that bad. And and and the
thing is, no one you know, this whole talk of
like who's privileged and where do you rank on the
(03:34):
privilege map, and it's like no one can ever tell
you like life is okay. So like everyone has to
go online, go on their Instagram and be like in
these trying times, we must come together. And it's like,
fuck you bitch you you had no job before, and
now all of a sudden, your team us. Like that's
the other thing, Like all these people that like had
(03:55):
no job now are quarantined and it's like, oh no,
now they get to like tell us all to stay
the funk home. It's like you've got to stay all before,
Like who are you gonna tell me? This is an
easy decision for you? It wasn't an easy decision for everyone.
Like my shows, like I do stand up at night
every night, my shows had to get postponed and canceled,
(04:16):
like you know, you know, it wasn't easy, you know,
to say that. I was like okay, time to stay home,
Like I wasn't that way. I was. I was annoyed,
I was pissed. I'm ready to do shows right now,
you know. So it's like, um um, all of this
is more gray than we all. You know, you have
(04:37):
to take time to understand that. And I understand. The
easy thing is like, you know, to live in the
black or white. And you know, it's like when you
see like when you see these people with seven homes
and they're like, I'm at we're all in this together
from their pool and you're like, no, no, no, not
no no, we're not in this together, not in the
(04:57):
same boat here. Yeah. So like and it's like, you
know what, you know, the social media is a hot
mic at the front of the room. Yeah, and everyone
feels like they got to give a speech, and it's
like some sometimes you just don't. We don't need to
hear from you, Like we don't have to hear from
the fifth bride made at the wedding, at the rehearsal dinner.
(05:19):
You can hear from one maid of honor and maybe
one close friend at the rehearsal dinner, and that's it.
I want to know what, So you moved in with
your girlfriend during this time? Like you' have been planning
that before this happened. We're planning it before an apartment ready.
The you know, the thing that sucks about it is like,
(05:42):
you know, I tell you know, we have our arguments
and you and you like any couple does, and you're like,
is this quarantine or is this right? Yeah, so it's like,
I you know, the tough thing is like, my job
is literally a joke. I am paid to make joke.
It's tough. It's tough because like if I have work
(06:03):
stuff that comes up, which, yeah, this you calling me
is a work thing. And we're talking about you know,
we're we're having fun talking on the phone. She hears that,
and she's like, that's what you do for work, Well
that's not important. Shut then up. I have to do
with math. And that's kind of that's kind of tough,
And especially because we we had a week where so
(06:23):
we were living in my place and then she had
a place downtown and she was in a studio. So
we had a week where we're in a studio. Yeah,
that was a little tough, Like I took a lot
of long poops and that was going on. And yeah,
and but then now we're in a one bedroom um
(06:46):
together and that's you know, easier, and you know that's nicer.
I you know, I it's the one at the moment
where I'm thankful. I'm like, uh, you know, thirty five
and didn't have kids yet. I'm like saying, God, there
isn't some kid in the back of my zoom meeting
Dad Dad. You know. I you know, everyone's situation is different,
(07:08):
and like, you know, life is hard for everyone. So
you know, our our our squabbles. Like like her birthday
was while we were in the studio apartment. It was
her birthday, so she went and like had social distance
drinks with their friends at a field. So she went
into that and while she was out, I cleaned up
(07:29):
the apartment a little bit and I put out a
glass bottle of champagne. I put out a card and
then I lit like a candle and I was like, Okay,
when she comes back. Yeah, I was like, when she
goes back, I'll be like, happy birthday. Let's start. It
was a night before her birthday, so I was like,
let's start the birthday, you know what I mean. And
she comes back, and you know she does. At first
(07:51):
she was like, this is so nice. So, my god,
thank you. She's had a couple of drinks in her
and then at one point she's like, I can't believe
you just lit that candle. And I'm like what And
she's like, I don't know. I mean, who has the
confidence to just light a candle in someone else's home?
And I'm like what what? I was like, I was like,
(08:12):
what are you talking about? She's like, one was a
nice candle, Like that's kind of like a candle that
I don't like, wait a minute, that's a candle you
don't light. At that point, it's called an art installation. Okay,
it's not. That's not that I don't I don't know.
I remember, I'm not familiar with the no light candle.
It was just I guess, so it's you know that.
(08:34):
And I was like, how much is this candle that
you're not a lot of lights? Like what price of
a candle makes it not lightable? Like five? Is it
a five candle? Because if it's a five hundred dollar candle, yes,
I'm mad at myself for lighting it. I'm also mad
at you for being the person who buys a five
hundred dollar candle. So I I'm mad for a number
(08:54):
of reasons. So now we're fighting about a candle. I
uh like, we're arguing about this candle. Do you get
get lit? What don't get lit? And then she, you know,
we we go over this in the studio and and
I tweet about it because I'm like that's what I do.
And I'm like, this is a funny fight. So I'll
tweet about the candle and I put it on Instagram
(09:15):
and I get a message being like, hey, um, I
I run a candle company. I love the things that
you do. Can I send you and your girlfriends some candles?
So I got free candles and I'm like, this is
so nice. I tell her. I'm like, how great is this?
This girl? She is a candle company and she's a
(09:36):
follower and she wants to send us candles. I was
like great, so I go. She goes, so I said her.
I was like, thank you so much, and I send
and she goes, what's your address? I give her my
address for the new apartment and she goes, you're She goes,
are you kidding me? The person? The candle person? She's like,
are you fucking kidding me? I was like what. She's like,
that's my exact address. That's the apartment, that's the apartment
(09:59):
next to me. Oh, you met your neighbor exactly. So
I'm like, no fucking way. And she was like, yeah,
this is so crazy. I was like, same floor in
the same Oh my god, can you imagine? And so
now like she's like she dropped him off at our door,
like and then like we're moving in and like where
(10:20):
is this candle chick? Like I'm looking for and we
end up moving our window. You can literally like the
building is like an l you can see into the
girl's apartment. Like it's like kind of crazy. Oh my god.
So coronavirus really just bringing everybody together exactly. Candles in Corona,
that Candles and Corona. It's great. You should I will.
(10:50):
You brought up the fact that she post everything on
Instagram on Twitter, and like, I personally something about being
isolated as you obviously are on social media a lot
more and I need a laugh, like especially if you
get sucked into the news. So one of your account's
my favorite just because of the memes, and you always
are posting about your podcast. You have these rants you
do about coronavirus, So what what is this about? Like,
(11:13):
are you just irritated with people, or what's the deal. Well,
I think you know, I am my comedy. The stand
up that I do is just all luxury issues. I
don't have real problems, and I'm fine with that and
I and I'm fine with admitting it, like I'm happy
that I don't have real problems, but I what I
(11:35):
love to talk about on stage or the problems that
are in problems like the candle. Yeah, that's the candle situation.
To me is my wheelhouse sums you yeah, And I think, um,
my job on earth is to be funny, and I think,
you know, I think what people what happens during times
like these is like people forget the job you had
(11:58):
before coronavirus is the job we want you doing during
it and the job we want you doing after it.
So people think that, oh, I have a following, so
now it's my turn to be a politician. No no, no,
now now brown cow, it is your turn to be
a butt model. Still we still need but we only yeah. Yeah,
(12:19):
So I'm not gonna like all the sudden change what
I do just because of what's going on to me.
I can help people by doing what I did before
and trying to be funny. So what I've what I
try to do is on my podcast, which is now daily.
I went from twice a week to five times a week.
(12:41):
And yeah, so we take emails and then every episode
I blow some steam about something that is related to
what's going on. And listen, I'm not going on there
being like like these are thought out rants. I'm I'm
but I'm I'm trying to speak for the silent majority.
(13:02):
That's really what I do and everything I'm trying to
speak for the person the the You know, when you
see an influencer on Instagram post something from their third
house and tell you how we're hauling this together, like
it's not worth your time to like comment on the thing.
It is worth my time to speak up for the
(13:24):
people that have real jobs and have you know, and
they have other things to do and be funny about it.
So that's where it came from, Like I'm gonna rant
about the things we're all thinking that really nobody has
time to say, and I've got the time. So we
got all the time. I got all the time in
the world to dissect how annoying it is that people
(13:46):
are baking banana bread and acted like they've been baking
banana read their whole fucking lives. Yeah, the what bothering
me about the banana bread isn't that they're baking like
good for you, but like this, this like southern omission
that you've never baked before in your life, like and
(14:08):
and this is why a lot of women do this.
Will They'll be like, oh, let me just whip something up.
But it's like with something up, like you spent your
whole fucking day on this. You googled how to do this.
You didn't just reach into your back pocket like you
did go to the market. You didn't have a bunch
of flower you didn't have a bunch of old bananas.
You don't just like oh, I just picked the bananas
from my banana tree. And then there's the the you know,
(14:32):
an instagram is the is the like the king of
that stuff. Everything on Instagram subtly omits the reality of life.
It subtly omits the the dirty, kind of icky parts
of life where you're like, yeah, I just want to
do this. I just want to bake this banana breads.
I can show it off to my friends to show
them that I'm not a fucking you know, loser like them,
(14:53):
like you know what I mean. So that's so. So
every day I try to rant about something new, or
I'll do a thing called the luxury Lounge where I
complained about a luxury issue. Um, and then like today
the luxury lounge today was that the pouring my own drinks,
Like I will talk about that before, you know, just
(15:14):
like like I know it's a luxury for me to
go to the fridge and pour my own drink, but
I don't want to do that because I don't have
the stopper at the top of my you know, bottle
of vodka that I can three count on. Like you
can't even do that three counts. So I do the
three count and it's like glug, glug, glug, and then
I go and then every time you stop pouring, you
pour a little more. So it's like I don't want
(15:35):
to pour my own drinks anymore. It's fucking annoying. So
I and then I do a church putery chat where
I chit chat about chartutery because that's my real cash,
is it. I didn't know this about you. Yes, I
am a big fan of the church. Wow, okay, well
you also you're a big fan of the Batchelor. Would
you describe yourself as a fan of the Bachelor, I
(15:56):
mean you love to hate on it, right, I'm a
huge fan the Bachelor. I love the show. I like
to comment on the show that I love so much,
and I'm watching, I'm watching Listen to your Heart about
Nashville's represent I mean, that's exactly what you do, these
things called live screams, and so you do you promote it?
Are you? You're talking about the show as it's happening,
(16:18):
So what are you thinking about this Listen to your
Heart show? Like give me the whole. I actually like it.
I wasn't so I I live scream I put on
my Instagram stories. I just watched the show and I
commentate as it's going on. And I wasn't planning on
watching Listen to Your Heart. And then the quarantine happened.
I'm like, I gotta fill some time. So now I'm
(16:40):
watching Listen to Your Art and I like the show
because the Bachelor, Um, the the Bachelor. This fall idea
of like that you're not there for love is like,
you know, kind of like a background noise on The Bachelor,
Like you know, you're on a date the bachelors, Like yeah, yeah,
(17:03):
But what I like what listening to your Heart is
that it's a lot of it is about that these
guys on the show want to be touring musicians. Like
so like they do. They are there for two things
and they can admit to it. So I kind of
like it. So what they've done is like the first
two episodes, they did it like Bachelor in Paradise where
it was like, okay, match up and whoever doesn't have
(17:25):
a partner at the end of the day, I call
it genital musical chairs and like so like if you
don't have a genital, you better leave the show. The
first two episodes they like they like got rid of
some people and now they're down the couples. And in
the last episode, Chris Harrison was like, you better be
serious with someone because if you win with it, you're
(17:46):
gonna match up with one person and if you wouldn't
need them, you're gonna tour the country together. Like okay,
I'm not well. Then it turned into like American Idol,
and they did, like the duet went up and saying
and they were one of the things that they were ranked,
you know, judged on, was their compatibility as musicians and
(18:10):
if it looked like they were in lover Yeah, and
that's I kind of like. I kind of like that
it turned into like America, like Jason mraz is one
of the judges, and Kesha and that saw your commentary
about them, Yes, and Jojo who's the former Bachelrette she
was on my favorite. So I did enjoy the music aspect,
(18:34):
like I I do like how it's like a changeup
and it's not the same, like like the Bachelor batcharette,
like you know the beats. You know, it's opening episode
and they go on the dates. This the dates don't
even matter. I just want to see them sing and
see if they suck or not, like you do. And
the thing is, you do see that they are not
really that compatible to them, um I you you point
(18:57):
out that they keep putting at the end of each
episode the thing a Claire Crawley or whatever, like guys
like have they always done this or did I just
not and I didn't I didn't notice it? Or is
it like worse with her? So Claire Crawley is going
to be the next Batcher att Yeah, she's famously thirty
eight years old now thirty nine which is like hilarious
(19:18):
that people are acting like this is ancient. I mean,
I know that's the big joke. Well, the thing is
like I make fun of it because her season had
to stop taking right now they when they I have
always been on the side of I always thought the
Bachelorette should be like late thirties early forties once divorce,
(19:45):
because then they would know what they want well. And
then I and then I wanted it to be older men,
like like that was like I wanted to be like
fifteen above men with a thirty eight year old woman.
As I thought that was that that would be a
better show and a more realistic watch. The thing about
(20:05):
the Bachelor, The Bachelor's a better show than the Bacherette
because the Bachelor's, you know, thirty women that are in
their twenties looking to get married, Like that's a kind
of a believable plot. And then but then the Bacherette
is like thirty men in their twenties trying to get married.
You're like, they don't really want to get married. So
(20:25):
you kind of know on the bachelotte who's gonna like
do well right away, because like there'll be an older
guy who's like a little bit more serious, and it's
like the I always thought had twenty early twenties woman
is probably the worst representation of the female race. And
(20:46):
and it's because it's it's a little embarrassing, which is fine,
but the unfair part is the most embarrassing form of
the male uh species is midlife crisis. May so I
kind of like, so, I kind of like that that
(21:07):
older bachelorette might offer, are like the most embarrassing version
of man. It was kind of like even things up.
Oh my god, I never thought about this, right. Divorce
has a company that is semi retired where exactly we're
sneakers with jeans and shirts, the shirts with the paisley
(21:31):
under the cuffs, like you know that guy, Like I
want to see that embarrassment. Oh my god, I'm cringing
just thinking about it. Right, that's that's the male version
of the girl who goes, who goes? It's my birthday
months like, that's the male version sampagne exactly. So. I
(21:54):
but then they cast the show and it was all
younger guys suck. Yeah, it doesn't mean I think so.
Then when they stopped tasting, I think they saw it
as an opportunity to kind of like add some people
to the show. So that's why they keep coming on
Listen to Your Heart, and they're like, hey, if you
want to submit to the backrest. So I keep making
this joke find one man boy, thirty eight year old woman,
(22:19):
and it's like, I am joking and because it's funny,
because I put up to posts and one was like
me making fun of how Jason Mraz looks like a
baby and a baby like a toddler and a hat.
And then like there was a Swue girl that was like,
I like the Jason Mraz joke. I don't like the
thirty eight year old Claire joke. And it's like, oh,
(22:41):
you don't like jokes when they don't relate to you.
It's like, listen, I if anyone thinks thirty eight years old,
they're out of their fucking minds, like you you know,
so everyone is stupid. So but I I I do
enjoy all the shows. I like, you know, these shows
(23:04):
on a big scale are stupid, but more fun like
like like the small moment like this on this Listen
to Your Heart show like this, uh, girl, Julia got
dumped by one of the guys and then she stayed
on the show because she's got a guy that's obsessed
with her, so she put one guy in the friend zone,
and then she keeps talking shit about the guy who
dumped her in his new relationship, and it's like, what
(23:25):
a fun thing to rot. Yeah. Also, it's like for
me every I say this every season, I'm like, I'm
not gonna watch it this season. I don't like that person.
I'm not gonna get sucked in. But it's like you,
you sit there and you're so for me, I'm so
shocked at the absurdity most of the time. That and
I hate myself for watching it, but I can't stop either.
(23:50):
There's nothing they hate. This is the thing, like you know, like,
well you know what we hate. Do you ever watched
like Full House growing up? Of course, you know the
end of Full House episodes when they teach the lessons
and the musical change. I used to get this feeling.
I would always like try to change the channel because
(24:12):
I'm like, well, I don't want to feel like I
connect with this, And I think the same goes for
a lot of people. With the bachelom bacherette, you connect
with kind of like the worst part your humanity. You
know that's true because I watched these twenty Sunding girls
and I'm like, I know I did stupid ship like that,
(24:32):
but I would like to remember that. Yeah, and it
feels icky. It's like it's like when you watch as
scene like in around Come from high school and you're
like and it's like someone being evil in the high
school and you're like, oh, I remember having those thoughts like, oh,
that was such a stupid, fucking idiot. Yeah, it's amazing. Okay,
so you have two podcasts, let's talk about him. I
actually was a guest on the Jay Train podcast, which
(24:54):
was so fun, and we break down. You have so
many of these listeners right in with very serious questions.
These are like a lot of romantic questions. But we
went through a couple of those. I remember um answering
and they're so fun. What else do you talk about
on the j Drain podcast? It's basically any We take
any email and give advice, so you can write in
(25:16):
with any. So it's like most of them are dating
in relationships just because that's the kind of the group
that I uh that follows me, and that's what they're
worried about. But like, you know, you get roommates stuff,
you get stuff with your you know, family stuff. But
it's really just like I'm not an expert. Um. You
know you are a guest. You're not an expert either,
(25:36):
But it's just people giving their perspective. And like there's
nowhere easier to be honest than on a podcast because
we don't have you know, like we don't have to
see their faces. We see an email and we don't
even have to relate it to our You can tell
your own stories that relate to it, but you can
just give advice. And that's kind of what we do.
And it's um, I I you know, for me, like
(25:59):
I think the best you know, you know the best
people the I think. The reason the podcast exists and
why so many people right in is people UM aren't
really good at giving advice. UM. And a lot of
times friends aren't good at giving advice because in family,
because friends and family use the history they know about
(26:21):
you against you a lot of times. So like, no
situation is just taken for what it is. Like you'll
be like, well I dated this guy and they'll be like,
well you you have set you You go home with
a lot of guys on the first date, and it's like, well,
can I just tell you my story? You know? So yeah,
and like I have people that comment, like my Instagram
(26:44):
isn't just podcast, and it's also like people who like
other stuff that I do. So it's interesting because I'll post,
you know, snippets and stuff, and I can see the
worst parts of people respond to them because like and
I'll and I know right away why the podcast this
Because so like I posted something where someone I can't
(27:06):
remember what the email was. The email was like something
where the person will didn't like they were feeling anxiety
about their relationship. And it's like someone wrote, well, I
guess someone's very confident, and I'm like, yeah, nobody's confident.
We all have our own things, Like we all have Yeah,
we all have insecurities, and like all it takes is
(27:27):
for you to feel like you're vulnerable to you know,
to not be sure what to do or to do
the wrong things. That there's nothing easier than giving advice.
It's really hard to take the advice that being given. Yeah,
so you know, when you came on, you were great
and we talked about a lot of like remember I
remember when you came on, we did the email about
you know, traveling with Spirit Airlines Spirit and it was
(27:50):
so I actually, that's a very good email. I wish
um you know, I wish I had video of it
so I could post it because I think it's so
relatable that you're like dealing with a friend who doesn't
want to spend the same amount of money on something
like money is such a personal and like very raw
subject to get into his friends. Yeah, it's like, well,
(28:12):
like we were saying, you don't want to travel with
those friends that I don't want to spend money because
when you take a tip, you want to be able
to splurge. Or that's my mentality, that's your mentality too,
And that was the dilemma and this email, it was
it was really a tough one. It was tough and
you know what, and like I see I with that
email because like I remember, like as my friends just
(28:33):
started to have kids, like it became really important for
some of my friends when we went away together to
play golf, and I was like, why the funk all
of a sudden, they need to play golf, And it
was like it was so interesting because like I and
I started to realize I was like, oh, golf is like,
at least I played golf, like when you're younger taking
(28:53):
trips with no kids, Like we'll go on a trip
the next week. It doesn't matter, you know, like whatever
we do. You know if if this weird thing, like
I remember we did turtle races that one of my buddies, Um, yeah,
they did in Chicago. There's a bar that like you
can bet on turtle races, and so we did that
(29:15):
as one of the events. When you know, he got
married young. When you're getting married at twenty three and
everyone has no wife, no kids, yeah, we'll do the
turtle race. I gotta We'll give you a ship. When
someone started on the Bachelor Party, they're like, no, I'm
taking this is the one week we can I get
away from my kids. I need to do golf because
at least I know it's a seven. I can't have
(29:38):
something via three. Yeah, I can't waste it, you know. Yeah,
um we see you guys. Check out the Daytrain podcast.
You also have another podcast with um betches, which I
am obsessed with them, all of them, but you it's
called you Up. Tell me about this. I haven't listened yet.
I need to listen to this one. So it's like
(29:59):
a you up text, So it's you know, I was
doing my podcast. We're giving advice, and I knew the
vetches and they're they have a fantastic company and I
love working with them. And they were like, we want
to start a new podcast where it's just date, just
modern dating and dating and relationship with and talking about it. So,
(30:20):
like Jordana Abraham, who's one of the vetches for and I,
every episode we dig into like modern dating issues, the
cross section of technology and relationships, the advice you can't
go to your parents to get. You can't ask your
parents what does it mean when he likes and pictures
on my Instagram in a row and they're gonna, you know,
like what does it mean when the snapchat streak ends?
(30:42):
What does it mean? And it's like all these questions
that you know, you and I and we all understand
is very much a you know, a part of the
times and like what we're living in. So there's a
lot of stress right now, Like you know, you know,
I want to date, but I don't want to be
in a dating app. But I I I'm in a
small pound I love and I live in the South.
(31:03):
Everyone's religious or there or there or there? You know, crazy,
are there too? Immature? Like I've got So we go
through it and we take are and so many of
these conversations, especially dating is like an uncomfortable conversation there.
So we I like to call it like uh a
place where we have uncomfortable conversations comfortably. I think that's
(31:25):
like the strength of do you what? Podcast? Is like
we talk about things that someone could you know, I
think for me, especially as a guy, you could look
at me and be like, well, you're being a dick,
you're being this, And it's like Jordana never does that
to me. She's always like open to hear, you know,
a perspective that is maybe a little icky, Like the
(31:45):
guy who liked you know, the guy who DM s
you is it's it's his penis d M and you
it's has nothing to do with he likes you and
like the idea that and like a lot of women
right now, they're like, well does he like me? Or
does he not? Likely? And it's like that's not how
like exists to a guy? To a guy like exists
on a very wide spectrum. What do you mean? Well,
(32:09):
I like, do I like her enough to fuck her.
Do I like her enough to go on a date
with her? Do you know? Do I like her enough
to just look at her Instagram stories every day and
never message her? And just that's enough for me? That
gets me going just enough. Yeah, see that actually helps me.
I like to hear the guy's perspective because I would
it would be confusing to me otherwise, like exactly the
(32:30):
behavior you're talking about would be so confusing totally that
and that's kind of what the podcast is there for,
is to have the male and female side of things.
And and also like there's no shutdown. There's never a
point where you know, I look at Jordana or Jouanna
looks at me and it's like, well, that's stupid talking
it up. Um, I need to listen to this one.
(32:53):
I'm assuming you guys have talked a little bit about
quarantine dating and all this. Oh my god, that's the
only thing we're talking about, right, I mean, it's crazy though, right.
I keep having friends say, I mean if some of
my friends are dating more than they did in regular
life right now? Yeah, Well, because there's more eyes on
the screen, Like even if you look at like your
socials are probably like you know, more people are looking
(33:14):
at Instagram every day, more people are looking at at
their phones, more people have more time. Like, you know,
dating is seasonal, you know, we we we only think
of it during cuffing season, but all seasons have differentiation
of dating. And we just added a new season and
season so now and and a lot of people right
(33:36):
now are getting reached out to by people they used
to date, and they're like, well, you know, why is
that guy reaching out. Well, that guy can't just find
someone who said yes to their penis before on a
dating game. You know, he's going to go back to
the rolodecks of people who have said yes to his
naked body before and try to hit up those spaces there.
(34:00):
You say, go for it. My advice is no. I mean,
if you want to fun and you want to hook up, yeah,
but I wouldn't expect anything more. Like, if someone's reaching
back out to you, it's not because they're like, they're
not sitting. I'll say this, Not a lot of guys
are saying in quarantine me, like I gotta get my
life right. They weren't visited by the ghosts of fun
Boy Pass. You know, you know, they're not like having
(34:23):
a moment they're like, I've been wrong my whole life.
I find the girl, and and and Kelly was the one.
You know, Like they're not saying that, they're saying ship.
There was no option there. I'm alone. There's no option
for random fucking. So I'm gonna go I'm gonna message
(34:44):
someone that if they say no, my egos intact, because
they're only saying no because they sucked me before, not
because they're not attracting me. That's why old people come
back to you, because it's an ego protection. I never
thought about it that way. Yeah, like if you if
if you poked up with someone and they're like, hey,
where you been, how you how you doing? You know, Kelly,
(35:05):
come on, let's go and and and then you're like
you're like, hey, why are you messaging me? They can go, oh,
well we ended before at least I had I had
been there when Yeah. Yeah, crazy dudes, man. And there's
so much Okay, so j J podcast you up podcast?
Where else can people find you? At? Jeric Freed on Instagram.
(35:28):
That's that's where it all happen. And it's s R
E I D. That's right. Free. Well, I appreciate you
being here so much. I totally appreciate your Instagram. It
keeps me laughing and some days, right now you really
need that. That means a lot. I'm happier you too.
(35:51):
Good luck in New York, good luck with the candles man,
I know all right. Thank you guys for listening.
This is Kelly Henderson and you are listening to at
Home on the Velvet Edge podcast. My guest this week
is comedian Jared Fraid. Jared's Instagram account and memes have
been the silver lining for me to some dark days
during this isolation period, so I thought he would be
the perfect guest to give us all something to laugh about.
He's the host of the Jay Train podcast, which I
was a guest on. He's also the co host of
(00:21):
the U Up podcast with the girls from Betches. Obviously,
his stand up tour has been put on hold during
this pandemic, so we talked about how he is handling
isolating in New York City, moving in with his girlfriend,
and of course the Bachelor. Here's our conversation. All right,
so you're in New York. What in the world is
it like there right now? Well, it's so funny, Like,
(00:42):
I New York is fine, okay, but I'm also not
working in a hospital, you know, you know, I I'm
in a very luxurious position. But it is funny that
when I talked to Goe outside in New York, they're like,
how is it going there? And I'm like, it's fine,
and it's just very quiet. I'm not waiting through bodies
(01:04):
in the streets. It's not like that at all. Um.
It's actually there's parts of being in New York that
are probably that I enjoy better, like the fact that
I can go out for a walk and you know,
there are coffee places that are open, there's a bodego.
But you know, there's there's a little bit more going
on here than people would assume, considering you know, the
(01:26):
numbers and how New York has become like kind of
the uh you know, the top coronavirus place in some reguards, right.
I just imagine it to be so kind of eerie feeling,
even just because New York is so busy all the time. Yeah,
that's well, that's the it's eerie to look like I
live in an apartment building to look out on the
(01:47):
street in the morning and just see no cars, like
nobody's moving in and out of the city. Like I moved.
So I moved in with my girlfriend mid quarantine. Oh wow,
the changes. Yeah, so I moved with my girlfriend and um,
you know, the stressful part was all the stuff leading
(02:08):
into it. Will people cancel at the last second when
we get our couches. Well, the movers still do it?
How do you do it? But you know, but then
once you got to the move, it was actually easier
because there's no traffic. You could park that the truck
could be parked outside. No one was beeping at you
being like get the funk out of the way, like
it actually you know, And and this is it's it's
(02:30):
so tough because we live in this world of black
and white and the reality is all nuanced and in
the in between, so like some people's lives are better
in quarantine, like and and no one wants to admit
that because then someone comes at you and goes, stave
(02:51):
are dying and my grandmother's and it's like and it's like, no, obviously,
that's obviously. I know that I'm an adult, I had
parents brought me up. I'm closer to you than than
any you know, we're all closer to one another's feelings.
I'm just saying that a mover when I looked at
the movers and I was like, so, what's this like?
And they were like, there's no traffic. It's sucking great.
(03:12):
It's like that it goes two, you know, and and
go ahead. I'm sorry. I was just gonna say. My
boyfriend says all the time, he's like living his best
life right now. I think if you can pay your bills,
it's like it's not that bad. And and and the
thing is, no one you know, this whole talk of
like who's privileged and where do you rank on the
(03:34):
privilege map, and it's like no one can ever tell
you like life is okay. So like everyone has to
go online, go on their Instagram and be like in
these trying times, we must come together. And it's like,
fuck you bitch you you had no job before, and
now all of a sudden, your team us. Like that's
the other thing, Like all these people that like had
(03:55):
no job now are quarantined and it's like, oh no,
now they get to like tell us all to stay
the funk home. It's like you've got to stay all before,
Like who are you gonna tell me? This is an
easy decision for you? It wasn't an easy decision for everyone.
Like my shows, like I do stand up at night
every night, my shows had to get postponed and canceled,
(04:16):
like you know, you know, it wasn't easy, you know,
to say that. I was like okay, time to stay home,
Like I wasn't that way. I was. I was annoyed,
I was pissed. I'm ready to do shows right now,
you know. So it's like, um um, all of this
is more gray than we all. You know, you have
(04:37):
to take time to understand that. And I understand. The
easy thing is like, you know, to live in the
black or white. And you know, it's like when you
see like when you see these people with seven homes
and they're like, I'm at we're all in this together
from their pool and you're like, no, no, no, not
no no, we're not in this together, not in the
(04:57):
same boat here. Yeah. So like and it's like, you
know what, you know, the social media is a hot
mic at the front of the room. Yeah, and everyone
feels like they got to give a speech, and it's
like some sometimes you just don't. We don't need to
hear from you, Like we don't have to hear from
the fifth bride made at the wedding, at the rehearsal dinner.
(05:19):
You can hear from one maid of honor and maybe
one close friend at the rehearsal dinner, and that's it.
I want to know what, So you moved in with
your girlfriend during this time? Like you' have been planning
that before this happened. We're planning it before an apartment ready.
The you know, the thing that sucks about it is like,
(05:42):
you know, I tell you know, we have our arguments
and you and you like any couple does, and you're like,
is this quarantine or is this right? Yeah, so it's like,
I you know, the tough thing is like, my job
is literally a joke. I am paid to make joke.
It's tough. It's tough because like if I have work
(06:03):
stuff that comes up, which, yeah, this you calling me
is a work thing. And we're talking about you know,
we're we're having fun talking on the phone. She hears that,
and she's like, that's what you do for work, Well
that's not important. Shut then up. I have to do
with math. And that's kind of that's kind of tough,
And especially because we we had a week where so
(06:23):
we were living in my place and then she had
a place downtown and she was in a studio. So
we had a week where we're in a studio. Yeah,
that was a little tough, Like I took a lot
of long poops and that was going on. And yeah,
and but then now we're in a one bedroom um
(06:46):
together and that's you know, easier, and you know that's nicer.
I you know, I it's the one at the moment
where I'm thankful. I'm like, uh, you know, thirty five
and didn't have kids yet. I'm like saying, God, there
isn't some kid in the back of my zoom meeting
Dad Dad. You know. I you know, everyone's situation is different,
(07:08):
and like, you know, life is hard for everyone. So
you know, our our our squabbles. Like like her birthday
was while we were in the studio apartment. It was
her birthday, so she went and like had social distance
drinks with their friends at a field. So she went
into that and while she was out, I cleaned up
(07:29):
the apartment a little bit and I put out a
glass bottle of champagne. I put out a card and
then I lit like a candle and I was like, Okay,
when she comes back. Yeah, I was like, when she
goes back, I'll be like, happy birthday. Let's start. It
was a night before her birthday, so I was like,
let's start the birthday, you know what I mean. And
she comes back, and you know she does. At first
(07:51):
she was like, this is so nice. So, my god,
thank you. She's had a couple of drinks in her
and then at one point she's like, I can't believe
you just lit that candle. And I'm like what And
she's like, I don't know. I mean, who has the
confidence to just light a candle in someone else's home?
And I'm like what what? I was like, I was like,
(08:12):
what are you talking about? She's like, one was a
nice candle, Like that's kind of like a candle that
I don't like, wait a minute, that's a candle you
don't light. At that point, it's called an art installation. Okay,
it's not. That's not that I don't I don't know.
I remember, I'm not familiar with the no light candle.
It was just I guess, so it's you know that.
(08:34):
And I was like, how much is this candle that
you're not a lot of lights? Like what price of
a candle makes it not lightable? Like five? Is it
a five candle? Because if it's a five hundred dollar candle, yes,
I'm mad at myself for lighting it. I'm also mad
at you for being the person who buys a five
hundred dollar candle. So I I'm mad for a number
(08:54):
of reasons. So now we're fighting about a candle. I
uh like, we're arguing about this candle. Do you get
get lit? What don't get lit? And then she, you know,
we we go over this in the studio and and
I tweet about it because I'm like that's what I do.
And I'm like, this is a funny fight. So I'll
tweet about the candle and I put it on Instagram
(09:15):
and I get a message being like, hey, um, I
I run a candle company. I love the things that
you do. Can I send you and your girlfriends some candles?
So I got free candles and I'm like, this is
so nice. I tell her. I'm like, how great is this?
This girl? She is a candle company and she's a
(09:36):
follower and she wants to send us candles. I was
like great, so I go. She goes, so I said her.
I was like, thank you so much, and I send
and she goes, what's your address? I give her my
address for the new apartment and she goes, you're She goes,
are you kidding me? The person? The candle person? She's like,
are you fucking kidding me? I was like what. She's like,
that's my exact address. That's the apartment, that's the apartment
(09:59):
next to me. Oh, you met your neighbor exactly. So
I'm like, no fucking way. And she was like, yeah,
this is so crazy. I was like, same floor in
the same Oh my god, can you imagine? And so
now like she's like she dropped him off at our door,
like and then like we're moving in and like where
(10:20):
is this candle chick? Like I'm looking for and we
end up moving our window. You can literally like the
building is like an l you can see into the
girl's apartment. Like it's like kind of crazy. Oh my god.
So coronavirus really just bringing everybody together exactly. Candles in Corona,
that Candles and Corona. It's great. You should I will.
(10:50):
You brought up the fact that she post everything on
Instagram on Twitter, and like, I personally something about being
isolated as you obviously are on social media a lot
more and I need a laugh, like especially if you
get sucked into the news. So one of your account's
my favorite just because of the memes, and you always
are posting about your podcast. You have these rants you
do about coronavirus, So what what is this about? Like,
(11:13):
are you just irritated with people, or what's the deal. Well,
I think you know, I am my comedy. The stand
up that I do is just all luxury issues. I
don't have real problems, and I'm fine with that and
I and I'm fine with admitting it, like I'm happy
that I don't have real problems, but I what I
(11:35):
love to talk about on stage or the problems that
are in problems like the candle. Yeah, that's the candle situation.
To me is my wheelhouse sums you yeah, And I think, um,
my job on earth is to be funny, and I think,
you know, I think what people what happens during times
like these is like people forget the job you had
(11:58):
before coronavirus is the job we want you doing during
it and the job we want you doing after it.
So people think that, oh, I have a following, so
now it's my turn to be a politician. No no, no,
now now brown cow, it is your turn to be
a butt model. Still we still need but we only yeah. Yeah,
(12:19):
So I'm not gonna like all the sudden change what
I do just because of what's going on to me.
I can help people by doing what I did before
and trying to be funny. So what I've what I
try to do is on my podcast, which is now daily.
I went from twice a week to five times a week.
(12:41):
And yeah, so we take emails and then every episode
I blow some steam about something that is related to
what's going on. And listen, I'm not going on there
being like like these are thought out rants. I'm I'm
but I'm I'm trying to speak for the silent majority.
(13:02):
That's really what I do and everything I'm trying to
speak for the person the the You know, when you
see an influencer on Instagram post something from their third
house and tell you how we're hauling this together, like
it's not worth your time to like comment on the thing.
It is worth my time to speak up for the
(13:24):
people that have real jobs and have you know, and
they have other things to do and be funny about it.
So that's where it came from, Like I'm gonna rant
about the things we're all thinking that really nobody has
time to say, and I've got the time. So we
got all the time. I got all the time in
the world to dissect how annoying it is that people
(13:46):
are baking banana bread and acted like they've been baking
banana read their whole fucking lives. Yeah, the what bothering
me about the banana bread isn't that they're baking like
good for you, but like this, this like southern omission
that you've never baked before in your life, like and
(14:08):
and this is why a lot of women do this.
Will They'll be like, oh, let me just whip something up.
But it's like with something up, like you spent your
whole fucking day on this. You googled how to do this.
You didn't just reach into your back pocket like you
did go to the market. You didn't have a bunch
of flower you didn't have a bunch of old bananas.
You don't just like oh, I just picked the bananas
from my banana tree. And then there's the the you know,
(14:32):
an instagram is the is the like the king of
that stuff. Everything on Instagram subtly omits the reality of life.
It subtly omits the the dirty, kind of icky parts
of life where you're like, yeah, I just want to
do this. I just want to bake this banana breads.
I can show it off to my friends to show
them that I'm not a fucking you know, loser like them,
(14:53):
like you know what I mean. So that's so. So
every day I try to rant about something new, or
I'll do a thing called the luxury Lounge where I
complained about a luxury issue. Um, and then like today
the luxury lounge today was that the pouring my own drinks,
Like I will talk about that before, you know, just
(15:14):
like like I know it's a luxury for me to
go to the fridge and pour my own drink, but
I don't want to do that because I don't have
the stopper at the top of my you know, bottle
of vodka that I can three count on. Like you
can't even do that three counts. So I do the
three count and it's like glug, glug, glug, and then
I go and then every time you stop pouring, you
pour a little more. So it's like I don't want
(15:35):
to pour my own drinks anymore. It's fucking annoying. So
I and then I do a church putery chat where
I chit chat about chartutery because that's my real cash,
is it. I didn't know this about you. Yes, I
am a big fan of the church. Wow, okay, well
you also you're a big fan of the Batchelor. Would
you describe yourself as a fan of the Bachelor, I
(15:56):
mean you love to hate on it, right, I'm a
huge fan the Bachelor. I love the show. I like
to comment on the show that I love so much,
and I'm watching, I'm watching Listen to your Heart about
Nashville's represent I mean, that's exactly what you do, these
things called live screams, and so you do you promote it?
Are you? You're talking about the show as it's happening,
(16:18):
So what are you thinking about this Listen to your
Heart show? Like give me the whole. I actually like it.
I wasn't so I I live scream I put on
my Instagram stories. I just watched the show and I
commentate as it's going on. And I wasn't planning on
watching Listen to Your Heart. And then the quarantine happened.
I'm like, I gotta fill some time. So now I'm
(16:40):
watching Listen to Your Art and I like the show
because the Bachelor, Um, the the Bachelor. This fall idea
of like that you're not there for love is like,
you know, kind of like a background noise on The Bachelor,
Like you know, you're on a date the bachelors, Like yeah, yeah,
(17:03):
But what I like what listening to your Heart is
that it's a lot of it is about that these
guys on the show want to be touring musicians. Like
so like they do. They are there for two things
and they can admit to it. So I kind of
like it. So what they've done is like the first
two episodes, they did it like Bachelor in Paradise where
it was like, okay, match up and whoever doesn't have
(17:25):
a partner at the end of the day, I call
it genital musical chairs and like so like if you
don't have a genital, you better leave the show. The
first two episodes they like they like got rid of
some people and now they're down the couples. And in
the last episode, Chris Harrison was like, you better be
serious with someone because if you win with it, you're
(17:46):
gonna match up with one person and if you wouldn't
need them, you're gonna tour the country together. Like okay,
I'm not well. Then it turned into like American Idol,
and they did, like the duet went up and saying
and they were one of the things that they were ranked,
you know, judged on, was their compatibility as musicians and
(18:10):
if it looked like they were in lover Yeah, and
that's I kind of like. I kind of like that
it turned into like America, like Jason mraz is one
of the judges, and Kesha and that saw your commentary
about them, Yes, and Jojo who's the former Bachelrette she
was on my favorite. So I did enjoy the music aspect,
(18:34):
like I I do like how it's like a changeup
and it's not the same, like like the Bachelor batcharette,
like you know the beats. You know, it's opening episode
and they go on the dates. This the dates don't
even matter. I just want to see them sing and
see if they suck or not, like you do. And
the thing is, you do see that they are not
really that compatible to them, um I you you point
(18:57):
out that they keep putting at the end of each
episode the thing a Claire Crawley or whatever, like guys
like have they always done this or did I just
not and I didn't I didn't notice it? Or is
it like worse with her? So Claire Crawley is going
to be the next Batcher att Yeah, she's famously thirty
eight years old now thirty nine which is like hilarious
(19:18):
that people are acting like this is ancient. I mean,
I know that's the big joke. Well, the thing is
like I make fun of it because her season had
to stop taking right now they when they I have
always been on the side of I always thought the
Bachelorette should be like late thirties early forties once divorce,
(19:45):
because then they would know what they want well. And
then I and then I wanted it to be older men,
like like that was like I wanted to be like
fifteen above men with a thirty eight year old woman.
As I thought that was that that would be a
better show and a more realistic watch. The thing about
(20:05):
the Bachelor, The Bachelor's a better show than the Bacherette
because the Bachelor's, you know, thirty women that are in
their twenties looking to get married, Like that's a kind
of a believable plot. And then but then the Bacherette
is like thirty men in their twenties trying to get married.
You're like, they don't really want to get married. So
(20:25):
you kind of know on the bachelotte who's gonna like
do well right away, because like there'll be an older
guy who's like a little bit more serious, and it's
like the I always thought had twenty early twenties woman
is probably the worst representation of the female race. And
(20:46):
and it's because it's it's a little embarrassing, which is fine,
but the unfair part is the most embarrassing form of
the male uh species is midlife crisis. May so I
kind of like, so, I kind of like that that
(21:07):
older bachelorette might offer, are like the most embarrassing version
of man. It was kind of like even things up.
Oh my god, I never thought about this, right. Divorce
has a company that is semi retired where exactly we're
sneakers with jeans and shirts, the shirts with the paisley
(21:31):
under the cuffs, like you know that guy, Like I
want to see that embarrassment. Oh my god, I'm cringing
just thinking about it. Right, that's that's the male version
of the girl who goes, who goes? It's my birthday
months like, that's the male version sampagne exactly. So. I
(21:54):
but then they cast the show and it was all
younger guys suck. Yeah, it doesn't mean I think so.
Then when they stopped tasting, I think they saw it
as an opportunity to kind of like add some people
to the show. So that's why they keep coming on
Listen to Your Heart, and they're like, hey, if you
want to submit to the backrest. So I keep making
this joke find one man boy, thirty eight year old woman,
(22:19):
and it's like, I am joking and because it's funny,
because I put up to posts and one was like
me making fun of how Jason Mraz looks like a
baby and a baby like a toddler and a hat.
And then like there was a Swue girl that was like,
I like the Jason Mraz joke. I don't like the
thirty eight year old Claire joke. And it's like, oh,
(22:41):
you don't like jokes when they don't relate to you.
It's like, listen, I if anyone thinks thirty eight years old,
they're out of their fucking minds, like you you know,
so everyone is stupid. So but I I I do
enjoy all the shows. I like, you know, these shows
(23:04):
on a big scale are stupid, but more fun like
like like the small moment like this on this Listen
to Your Heart show like this, uh, girl, Julia got
dumped by one of the guys and then she stayed
on the show because she's got a guy that's obsessed
with her, so she put one guy in the friend zone,
and then she keeps talking shit about the guy who
dumped her in his new relationship, and it's like, what
(23:25):
a fun thing to rot. Yeah. Also, it's like for
me every I say this every season, I'm like, I'm
not gonna watch it this season. I don't like that person.
I'm not gonna get sucked in. But it's like you,
you sit there and you're so for me, I'm so
shocked at the absurdity most of the time. That and
I hate myself for watching it, but I can't stop either.
(23:50):
There's nothing they hate. This is the thing, like you know, like,
well you know what we hate. Do you ever watched
like Full House growing up? Of course, you know the
end of Full House episodes when they teach the lessons
and the musical change. I used to get this feeling.
I would always like try to change the channel because
(24:12):
I'm like, well, I don't want to feel like I
connect with this, And I think the same goes for
a lot of people. With the bachelom bacherette, you connect
with kind of like the worst part your humanity. You
know that's true because I watched these twenty Sunding girls
and I'm like, I know I did stupid ship like that,
(24:32):
but I would like to remember that. Yeah, and it
feels icky. It's like it's like when you watch as
scene like in around Come from high school and you're
like and it's like someone being evil in the high
school and you're like, oh, I remember having those thoughts like, oh,
that was such a stupid, fucking idiot. Yeah, it's amazing. Okay,
so you have two podcasts, let's talk about him. I
actually was a guest on the Jay Train podcast, which
(24:54):
was so fun, and we break down. You have so
many of these listeners right in with very serious questions.
These are like a lot of romantic questions. But we
went through a couple of those. I remember um answering
and they're so fun. What else do you talk about
on the j Drain podcast? It's basically any We take
any email and give advice, so you can write in
(25:16):
with any. So it's like most of them are dating
in relationships just because that's the kind of the group
that I uh that follows me, and that's what they're
worried about. But like, you know, you get roommates stuff,
you get stuff with your you know, family stuff. But
it's really just like I'm not an expert. Um. You
know you are a guest. You're not an expert either,
(25:36):
But it's just people giving their perspective. And like there's
nowhere easier to be honest than on a podcast because
we don't have you know, like we don't have to
see their faces. We see an email and we don't
even have to relate it to our You can tell
your own stories that relate to it, but you can
just give advice. And that's kind of what we do.
And it's um, I I you know, for me, like
(25:59):
I think the best you know, you know the best
people the I think. The reason the podcast exists and
why so many people right in is people UM aren't
really good at giving advice. UM. And a lot of
times friends aren't good at giving advice because in family,
because friends and family use the history they know about
(26:21):
you against you a lot of times. So like, no
situation is just taken for what it is. Like you'll
be like, well I dated this guy and they'll be like,
well you you have set you You go home with
a lot of guys on the first date, and it's like, well,
can I just tell you my story? You know? So yeah,
and like I have people that comment, like my Instagram
(26:44):
isn't just podcast, and it's also like people who like
other stuff that I do. So it's interesting because I'll post,
you know, snippets and stuff, and I can see the
worst parts of people respond to them because like and
I'll and I know right away why the podcast this
Because so like I posted something where someone I can't
(27:06):
remember what the email was. The email was like something
where the person will didn't like they were feeling anxiety
about their relationship. And it's like someone wrote, well, I
guess someone's very confident, and I'm like, yeah, nobody's confident.
We all have our own things, Like we all have Yeah,
we all have insecurities, and like all it takes is
(27:27):
for you to feel like you're vulnerable to you know,
to not be sure what to do or to do
the wrong things. That there's nothing easier than giving advice.
It's really hard to take the advice that being given. Yeah,
so you know, when you came on, you were great
and we talked about a lot of like remember I
remember when you came on, we did the email about
you know, traveling with Spirit Airlines Spirit and it was
(27:50):
so I actually, that's a very good email. I wish
um you know, I wish I had video of it
so I could post it because I think it's so
relatable that you're like dealing with a friend who doesn't
want to spend the same amount of money on something
like money is such a personal and like very raw
subject to get into his friends. Yeah, it's like, well,
(28:12):
like we were saying, you don't want to travel with
those friends that I don't want to spend money because
when you take a tip, you want to be able
to splurge. Or that's my mentality, that's your mentality too,
And that was the dilemma and this email, it was
it was really a tough one. It was tough and
you know what, and like I see I with that
email because like I remember, like as my friends just
(28:33):
started to have kids, like it became really important for
some of my friends when we went away together to
play golf, and I was like, why the funk all
of a sudden, they need to play golf, And it
was like it was so interesting because like I and
I started to realize I was like, oh, golf is like,
at least I played golf, like when you're younger taking
(28:53):
trips with no kids, Like we'll go on a trip
the next week. It doesn't matter, you know, like whatever
we do. You know if if this weird thing, like
I remember we did turtle races that one of my buddies, Um, yeah,
they did in Chicago. There's a bar that like you
can bet on turtle races, and so we did that
(29:15):
as one of the events. When you know, he got
married young. When you're getting married at twenty three and
everyone has no wife, no kids, yeah, we'll do the
turtle race. I gotta We'll give you a ship. When
someone started on the Bachelor Party, they're like, no, I'm
taking this is the one week we can I get
away from my kids. I need to do golf because
at least I know it's a seven. I can't have
(29:38):
something via three. Yeah, I can't waste it, you know. Yeah,
um we see you guys. Check out the Daytrain podcast.
You also have another podcast with um betches, which I
am obsessed with them, all of them, but you it's
called you Up. Tell me about this. I haven't listened yet.
I need to listen to this one. So it's like
(29:59):
a you up text, So it's you know, I was
doing my podcast. We're giving advice, and I knew the
vetches and they're they have a fantastic company and I
love working with them. And they were like, we want
to start a new podcast where it's just date, just
modern dating and dating and relationship with and talking about it. So,
(30:20):
like Jordana Abraham, who's one of the vetches for and I,
every episode we dig into like modern dating issues, the
cross section of technology and relationships, the advice you can't
go to your parents to get. You can't ask your
parents what does it mean when he likes and pictures
on my Instagram in a row and they're gonna, you know,
like what does it mean when the snapchat streak ends?
(30:42):
What does it mean? And it's like all these questions
that you know, you and I and we all understand
is very much a you know, a part of the
times and like what we're living in. So there's a
lot of stress right now, Like you know, you know,
I want to date, but I don't want to be
in a dating app. But I I I'm in a
small pound I love and I live in the South.
(31:03):
Everyone's religious or there or there or there? You know, crazy,
are there too? Immature? Like I've got So we go
through it and we take are and so many of
these conversations, especially dating is like an uncomfortable conversation there.
So we I like to call it like uh a
place where we have uncomfortable conversations comfortably. I think that's
(31:25):
like the strength of do you what? Podcast? Is like
we talk about things that someone could you know, I
think for me, especially as a guy, you could look
at me and be like, well, you're being a dick,
you're being this, And it's like Jordana never does that
to me. She's always like open to hear, you know,
a perspective that is maybe a little icky, Like the
(31:45):
guy who liked you know, the guy who DM s
you is it's it's his penis d M and you
it's has nothing to do with he likes you and
like the idea that and like a lot of women
right now, they're like, well does he like me? Or
does he not? Likely? And it's like that's not how
like exists to a guy? To a guy like exists
on a very wide spectrum. What do you mean? Well,
(32:09):
I like, do I like her enough to fuck her.
Do I like her enough to go on a date
with her? Do you know? Do I like her enough
to just look at her Instagram stories every day and
never message her? And just that's enough for me? That
gets me going just enough. Yeah, see that actually helps me.
I like to hear the guy's perspective because I would
it would be confusing to me otherwise, like exactly the
(32:30):
behavior you're talking about would be so confusing totally that
and that's kind of what the podcast is there for,
is to have the male and female side of things.
And and also like there's no shutdown. There's never a
point where you know, I look at Jordana or Jouanna
looks at me and it's like, well, that's stupid talking
it up. Um, I need to listen to this one.
(32:53):
I'm assuming you guys have talked a little bit about
quarantine dating and all this. Oh my god, that's the
only thing we're talking about, right, I mean, it's crazy though, right.
I keep having friends say, I mean if some of
my friends are dating more than they did in regular
life right now? Yeah, Well, because there's more eyes on
the screen, Like even if you look at like your
socials are probably like you know, more people are looking
(33:14):
at Instagram every day, more people are looking at at
their phones, more people have more time. Like, you know,
dating is seasonal, you know, we we we only think
of it during cuffing season, but all seasons have differentiation
of dating. And we just added a new season and
season so now and and a lot of people right
(33:36):
now are getting reached out to by people they used
to date, and they're like, well, you know, why is
that guy reaching out. Well, that guy can't just find
someone who said yes to their penis before on a
dating game. You know, he's going to go back to
the rolodecks of people who have said yes to his
naked body before and try to hit up those spaces there.
(34:00):
You say, go for it. My advice is no. I mean,
if you want to fun and you want to hook up, yeah,
but I wouldn't expect anything more. Like, if someone's reaching
back out to you, it's not because they're like, they're
not sitting. I'll say this, Not a lot of guys
are saying in quarantine me, like I gotta get my
life right. They weren't visited by the ghosts of fun
Boy Pass. You know, you know, they're not like having
(34:23):
a moment they're like, I've been wrong my whole life.
I find the girl, and and and Kelly was the one.
You know, Like they're not saying that, they're saying ship.
There was no option there. I'm alone. There's no option
for random fucking. So I'm gonna go I'm gonna message
(34:44):
someone that if they say no, my egos intact, because
they're only saying no because they sucked me before, not
because they're not attracting me. That's why old people come
back to you, because it's an ego protection. I never
thought about it that way. Yeah, like if you if
if you poked up with someone and they're like, hey,
where you been, how you how you doing? You know, Kelly,
(35:05):
come on, let's go and and and then you're like
you're like, hey, why are you messaging me? They can go, oh,
well we ended before at least I had I had
been there when Yeah. Yeah, crazy dudes, man. And there's
so much Okay, so j J podcast you up podcast?
Where else can people find you? At? Jeric Freed on Instagram.
(35:28):
That's that's where it all happen. And it's s R
E I D. That's right. Free. Well, I appreciate you
being here so much. I totally appreciate your Instagram. It
keeps me laughing and some days, right now you really
need that. That means a lot. I'm happier you too.
(35:51):
Good luck in New York, good luck with the candles man,
I know all right. Thank you guys for listening.
Host
Kelly Henderson
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