Inspired by the themes of Kelly’s astrology conversation with Marv for March, this episode dives into creativity, overthinking, and breaking free from old patterns. Ever had a “brilliant” idea that, in hindsight, was totally ridiculous? Or found yourself obsessing over every tiny detail while the world just kept moving? Kelly and Chip explore the highs and lows of creative inspiration, the struggle of overanalyzing everything, and the unconventional choices that shaped their lives. From bizarre business ideas to perfectionist tendencies that went way too far, they’re keeping it real (and hilarious) about the moments they took themselves a little too seriously—and the ones where throwing logic out the window actually worked.
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HOSTS:
Kelly Henderson // @velvetsedge // velvetsedge.com
Chip Dorsch // @chipdorsch
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
We just said, we don't know if this is gonna
be a good or a bad thing. But today we
just had a couple things we just wanted to riff about.
To see riff what happened. I was telling you so
the podcast last week. You know, it was very like
almost a little bit deep dive. It was a little emotional.
I mean, I got Tyria. I had like four times
(00:25):
that you said, and we definitely got a lot of
feedback in a positive way. Thank you guys so much.
I told Chip there was a bunch of y'all that
slid into my DMS just like he asked y'all to do,
and it was so helpful. Like one of the things
that I think is so interesting is I do think
we lose kind of these concepts of like what reality
is because the negativity, the hate, the trolls, they're just louder,
(00:50):
Like it's so much easier. I think were the type
of person. I can't decide if it's like easier or
if it's a certain type of person takes the time
to go calm, to go DM to go do all
these things. And then on the flip side, people who
are positive or who are not gonna like you know,
say all these negative things who just enjoy you are
(01:12):
enjoying listening to the podcast, just think it and don't
necessarily go say.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
It righted to go say something yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
And it's just like I I've actually I lived that way,
and so it's like it's really made me kind of
think about, Okay, I need to be better about that.
But it was so helpful because a lot of you
did slide into my DMS and just shoot me straight
on what you thought about some of the stuff we
were talking about the end, and like some of the
things that I admitted to still struggling with because they
still exist in my world and I don't like that.
(01:41):
But it also feels really nice to know that it
is only because the trolls or the haters sometimes are
just louder because they take the time to do it.
But there's a lot of other things out there, and
so I don't know, it just helps me to put
the negativity aside and to keep and to realize that like, yeah,
(02:03):
like that's just a tiny piece of it. It doesn't
have to be the whole puzzle.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Obviously, these things cause a stress reaction for you, you know. Yeah,
And I was listening to a podcast. I'm Mel Robbins,
who I'm addicted to.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
You're obsessed, I'm obsessed. Use your news act show, I.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Know, but it's so much better for me because it's
like real information, not just like celebrity interviews. But she
was interviewing a doctor whose name I can't remember now,
and he was saying that what stress is, it's actually
a survival mechanism for our body. Because if you go
back to when we were like hunter gatherers, like if
we were living out on the planes, and you know,
(02:41):
we were out in the fields, like taking care of
the food for our families or whatever, and we saw
a predator coming toward our family, your body would get
stressed because it goes from survival mode and it causes
like your blood pressure to go up so that your
heart's pumping more stuff. It causes your adrenaline a spike,
It causes all of these things that actually are dressers
on your body. So, I mean, the point that this
(03:03):
doctor was making is that we now live in a
world where like we're constantly stressed out right because of
social media and because of the news, and because we're
all over worked and all of the things, like we're
not resting the way that we should. And it's just
there's so many more things to stress us out, and
so that people were living in this constant state of stress,
which means that we're giving ourselves high blood pressure. You know,
(03:25):
we're using up all of our dopamine and adrenaline because
you know, these moments like they're constant. And it wasn't
always that like a bear was coming to get you back.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
In the day. No, But isn't it interesting that the
things that used to stress them like back in the day,
the times that you're speaking about. The things that used
to stress people out were will I be able to
literally survive? Like do I have a roof over my head?
Will I have food today on the table? Will a
bear eat me? Those kind of things?
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Right now? My child make it through the night?
Speaker 1 (03:55):
You know, does anyone have dysphoria or type whatever they
talked about on the Oregon Trail like stick, I can't
remember any of the diseases right now. But my people
always used to die. But nowadays it's almost like this
figurative stress on your life, Like what I feel what
you're talking about, when I feel when I start getting
hate or when some other article comes out is like
(04:17):
it feels like I'm going to die. I mean, but
it's actually going.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Going to But your body is having that same response.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Because it makes me. Yeah, it threatens my livelihood, is
what it does.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Like it's a real threat. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Yeah, it's so interesting.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
It really is. So I guess the challenge then is
to figure out how to avoid stress because it is
very real, Like you might not die from it, but
you are making your body unhealthy by allowing it into
your life because your body is having that physical reaction.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Well, it kind of brings me back to that point
that I always talk about, like you can't feel gratitude
and anxiety at the same time. So, like what happened
for me when I got the positive feedback in my
DMS was I felt so grateful and I was like,
oh my god, people see me and they know me,
and they don't believe fake narratives or they can see
(05:12):
through the lies and the bullshit or whatever that is.
And immediately it lowered my anxiety. And if I don't
have that and I don't focus on the things I
can be grateful for, I feel just really anxious and stressed.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
And so maybe when you see these shitty comments. Just
be grateful that you're living rent free in these people's minds,
you know, like you're just like, really I matter that
much to you that you're gonna.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Fuck get out of your life miserable.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yeah, yeah, it's like how bored are you?
Speaker 1 (05:42):
You know, really bored, but also really angry and sad,
And it makes me sad as an overall that like
so many people in our society are just that low
because I don't think anyone who's in a good place
or a high place or a high vibration takes the
time to hate on anyone else, Like we just don't
do that, you know. No, So anyway, all that to say,
(06:04):
I told you, I mean, my mom and dad have
just raped and they last week so much. I know,
it feels so nice. It's crazy because I think I
mentioned last week, like isn't it funny that we still
chase our parents' approval? And no, I do not live
and die by my parents' approval, but I will say
it always feels so lovely to have your parents feel
proud of the work that you're doing and feel like, Okay,
(06:27):
you're doing something positive, like both of my parents were,
Like it was just so lovely to hear you and
ship just like two friends supporting each other. And I
was like, well, that's what we are, you know.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
I mean the fact that they listen, that they invest
the time as a man, my parents don't know what
a podcast is when parents are younger than mine. But yeah, yeah,
they wouldn't know how to listen to Faith.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
I do feel like they would support you if they
knew how.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Yeah, I mean, they probably wouldn't like some of the
language I use, but that's fair. Don't dig back in
the old ones. Mom.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
We've evolved, We've grown, you really have. But anyway, so
thank you guys so much. It was so helpful and again,
like I just for me with Chip, it's been such
a fun journey for us to get to experience all
of this together and watch each other grow, I think,
and kind of be with each other on this journey.
So we're glad that you guys are on it with us.
(07:21):
So on Wednesday's podcast, it was an astrology podcast show.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Okay, way talk about my stress.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Like going up, yeah immediately, but okay, so light on
the astrology talk. We'll talk about the themes though. But
so there's a Piscey's new moon and a Virgo full
moon that we're going to kind of address through the
energetic themes and kind of some of the things that
the questions that it made me think about, and I
think that you can kind of speak to and then
(07:54):
also some things maybe we can all collectively focus on
as this month goes on. It's weird because if you're
on social media at all and you follow any kind
of astrologers, everyone's like dun dun dum about March. Like
there's just feels like there's a lot going on. But
what I love about my podcast with Marv is Marv's
always kind of like, okay, I mean, like in pop culture, yeah,
(08:17):
they are going to be doomsday because the same thing
as the news, that's what gets clicks and that's what
gets people's attention. But the reality is is anytime we're
having these major shifts, there are things to learn, Like
it's happening for a reason, and so we can either
get doomsday about it or we can get curious. And
I would prefer to stay curious myself.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
So find find the lessons.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Yeah, just like and it doesn't have to be bad
lessons either, Like lessons can be beautiful and they can
give you a lot of gifts, you know, or there
can be a lot of positivity that comes. Like I
think sometimes on social media the astrology really focuses on
the shadows and the negative, and it doesn't it doesn't
always mean that. So if you have listen yet, go
(09:01):
listen to the Wednesday podcast because Marve really does a
big breakdown of all of these things. But part of
like Pisce's energy chip, which you and I both have
Pisce's moons, which is our emotional core, and that just
really is like a very sensitive energy. Like I don't
know that you express it in the same way as
that I do. You're a little more like reserved. Maybe
(09:22):
it's the boy, maybe it's all the scorpio in your chart,
but you kind of hold it in a little more
than I do. But it basically it means like we're
two of the most sensitive humans ever, you know, and
in a positive way. It can also mean you're very
compassionate and empathetic to people. We both have a lot
of friends, Like I think, we just really love people
and people's energy, and that's part of that Pisce's it's
(09:45):
also very dream like so all of your like, what
if your creativity that comes from your Pisce's energy. So
we talked a lot about that. And immediately when Marv
is talking about Okay, get in your dreams and get
in this place where you're not fantasizing but you're almost
like manifesting these new creations, I think of you because
(10:09):
I just feel like you're probably my most I mean,
we have a lot of creative friends, but you're my
most like dreamy creative friend, like you would just imagine
these scenarios. Do you agree with that, though, think?
Speaker 2 (10:21):
I mean, I definitely probably have the most overactive imagination.
I just never squashed it.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
And yeah, it is almost funny because like.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Yeah, it's very childlike. I mean, I also smoke a
lot of weed, which I haven't I haven't in a while.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
More clear, without that, it's so interesting.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
I also, I mean, I'm I'm generally a really positive person,
which makes like that quality of being super positive. I
also believe that anything is possible, and I think that
helps with like my the dreamer in me. I agree,
And I've always kind of been really creative and imagined it.
When I was younger, I was definitely a lot more sensitive.
(11:03):
I was. I cried a lot more, and I was
I mean, like, the first time, first and only time
ever went hunting, I killed two squirrels, and I was so,
I think I've told this story. I was so proud
and I got home and like, you know, it was
two squirrels and you remove the tail and stuff, and
I was like, I had these tales, and I showed
my mom and I was like so proud, and then
(11:24):
she couldn't find me, and she found me upstairs crying
and I was like, and I had the tails and
I was petting them, and I was like, I want
to bring my gun. I'm never hunting again. Like I
was so sad about the fact that I had killed
two squirrels and that was me, and I was like,
I was also like the kid that if I lied
an hour later, I was going back and crying and
(11:47):
telling the truth. Me too, Me did not live with mine.
So yeah, I was a lot more sensitive. Like I
had a really hard time dealing with like the death
of pets and the death of loved ones, which you know,
in the moment, you know, you're never thankful that anything's dying,
but like I'm looking back, you're great. I'm grateful that
(12:07):
I experienced that stuff young because it's made it easier
to sort of understand and wrap my head around as
an older person.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
So, but you definitely sound like you were a very sensitive.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Child, probably just don't show it. Yeah, I was going
to say openness is different.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Yeah, yeah, as you get older. And it's also like
that that I do feel like is harder for men
because society is so like don't cry, like, don't show emotion,
and so you just almost like got conditioned as you
got older. Roudly. Yeah, So we've talked about this a
lot on the podcast, but you always have these like
what if, Like, yes, if you haven't heard us talk
about it, we'll literally just all be sitting around and
(12:44):
Chip Chip will interject something and he's like, y'all what
if and he goes into I mean, it can be
the most bizarre situations, like you said, imaginative that I
wouldn't never think of, and like, you're right, my brain
immediately goes, well, that will ever happen? And you're so
positive that you're like, it.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Could, it could, and it usually will involve like a
stranger that's in the room too, Like you know, we
love this restaurant called Sperry's, and it would be like,
here's an example. I would be like, what if I
just went over there and started making like a bananas
foster for that table? And because they did make you
think of that, they do table side bananas foster like it.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
He scoots the server over and immediately it's something that
I would wiping.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
It out truly imagine myself doing it, but I would
never actually do it.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
I imagine like for some reason, you know, when you
go to Habaji and like they're throwing That's how I
imagine you doing bananas foster, just like lame's going and
just all of a sudden, you magically have a chef's
on like I don't know why, but you found I would.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
I would, and then I wouldn't share it. I'd need
it all myself.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
So you make it for the table and then you
feel the card over.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Sorry, y'all, not enough for you?
Speaker 1 (14:02):
What if?
Speaker 2 (14:05):
So?
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Is there a what if that you can think of?
I'm so pissed that I haven't written any of these
down that you were like that one's just a little crazy,
like that you took it too far.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Oh, I feel like I always take it too far.
I mean it's I don't know. There's sometimes it's like
smacking strangers and stuff like.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Like slopping them.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Yeah, like you like, yeah, Like there's like if it's
there's an annoying person at an event or something like,
which I'll do if I went over there and just
lit that girl's hair on fire right now, you know,
like something like that. Like I definitely have those mean
thoughts too, but I usually will say it out loud
for the laugh, you know, like.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
That's always's hair off. You're never going to to do it.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
She deserves it. I'm not going to do it. I
will dare someone else to. That's my real goal is
to convince someone else to do these things.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
I don't. I think they're way too far out there.
Hopefully no one ever listens to Chip. If Chip ever
dares YouTube, please don't do it.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Yeah, don't do it. Don't do it.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Sometimes my brain definitely creates a little far fetched, like
in the ideas. A lot of it will revolve around
work for me of like oh it would be so
a magical or so amazing if like those kind of things.
But I don't feel like anything's ever really like crossed
a line or been something that I've tried, and it's
like bit me in the ass later, do you know
(15:29):
what I'm saying. Yeah, maybe we wrangle our creativity and
our imagination a little bit. I mean, this month could
get wild. Maybe we'll just start acting shit out.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Yeah, maybe we will. And if not, like we should
definitely write down some of the crazier things that I
say and then we can report back on them. So
it's like a true example and okay, made up thing
here on the spot.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Oh yeah, I mean this does exist. So you're right,
we don't really have the proof for the people. So
we'll come back to you guys with some what ifs.
You know that I'm not just making this up, right.
You sent me a video earlier today and I actually
(16:11):
thought about this with the Pisces energy because the video
that you sent and you can tell the people about this,
but it was very much in line with like this
girl was not supposed to die, like it wasn't her
time and it was wild and that is this like
mystical moment that we can't explain, right, Like it makes
me go and I don't know if it made you go.
(16:31):
There is spirit, there's something and there's timelines for us,
and we really have no idea, like we're just not
in control. Tell the people about the story and then
we'll get.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Talk about that. It's this insane video of a woman.
She's getting ready to get in her parked car. So
imagine it's like on the sidewalk. She's like leaving a
store or something. There's another woman who's witnessing it. Also,
it's caught on camera from two angles, which is also unbelievab.
But she it's a city street and she is on
(17:03):
the driver's side getting ready to open the driver's side
door of her car when a car coming up the
street crashes into the back of her car. Since her
car flying and because it hit her car and not her,
it ricochetes to the right and creates like this safety
triangle and like the yeah, her dress blows, that's it.
(17:26):
She doesn't even fall down, and so this destruction happens
all around her and she walks away the other car
like flips. It is insane. And Kelly said, like, imagine
how scared she was, And I was like or not
she had no idea what was coming because it was
her back was to it, Like I'm sure she was
like holy shit, what just happened and probably experienced some
(17:48):
shock afterwards, But that's also the adrenaline of like wow, wow,
that was exciting that I.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Just want to be honestly, until she watched the video back,
she didn't even understand how close she was to dying,
right because this car was going full speed. Yeah, like
if it had hit her, she'd be dead.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
She would have been blown to.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
The rains and the couchin basically just says like it
just wasn't her time.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Yeah, it's to me.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
I was like, if that girl doesn't feel this pool
to be like, Okay, I am still on this earth.
I got to figure out the reason. Like what am
I supposed to do here? I don't know who else
would because it is it's shocking. I'll post it for
you guys on my Instagram. But it is insane. And
that just that is very like Piscey spiritual. There is
(18:35):
something else here, whether you call it God, whether you
call it you know, whether it's Buddha, whatever it is
for you, a higher power of some kind has to exist.
Right when I see stuff like that, I'm like, there
is something else. There is a bigger something than me.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
I mean, it's I guess you could chalk it up to.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Just luck, but also or coincidence.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Are like, yeah, I mean it's I've watched it probably
forty times because I'm like, is this AI And I
really don't think it is. I think it's true.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
I forget it.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Just all the coincidences of like it being filmed by
these it's just security cameras that caught it, and the
fact that there was another human there to witness it
just blows my mind. Like I'm like, what are the
chances of all this aligned?
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Yeah? What about synchronicities? What are your feelings? Like, I
just don't believe things happen for no reason. Are like
that it's just like a coincidence or all these synchronicities
start happening in my life and it's not coming from
somewhere like a lot of times are all signs? I yeah,
Like I just think it's sign what's that movie that
Kate Beckensall movie? Do you remember that?
Speaker 2 (19:43):
All I can think of is sliding doors.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
With No But that's another one. Yeah, But it's the
same idea of like you're in the right place at
the right time. Had you been in that place a
minute later, you wouldn't have met the soulmate that you
know all. I think that they base it around dating.
I feel like it's called like synchronous. It's like something
like that. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
The last guy I dated, I got really hung up
in those synchronicities, and it wasn't necessarily things that were happening.
It was like past synchronicities. Okay, that like our lives
were so aligned in so many weird ways, and I
got really caught up in that and was not paying
attention to the things that weren't really working, you know,
(20:27):
like it just wow, oh my god. Yeah, we were
supposed to this was all supposed to happen, and I
got caught up in that, and I mean, we're not
dating anymore. But I think that there was probably a
reason still that I ended up meeting him, because I
did experience growth through that whole thing. But in the
moment I thought all those signs meant something, We're so
(20:49):
may well, yeah, I thought for sure that's what it meant.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Well, that's exactly kind of what I was discussing at
the beginning of this podcast and what Marvin I discussed about.
If you get too caught in the dream like states
or the fantasy, and you don't bring it down to reality,
it can't actually be useful to you. So if you
feel yourself like you're saying, noticing all the synchronicities and
kind of getting dreamy about it, you would also then
(21:14):
need to be like, and also, what's happening on this
day to day present moment right in front of me?
Am I fantasizing about what those synchronicities mean? Or is
it like a tangible thing that I can experience like
if from a grounded place? Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Yeah? My lesson there was you can't only focus on that.
You also have to like, it's not life. Isn't just mystical.
You know, there are very real world, grounded things that
are happening that you have to pay attention to. And
you can't just pick and choose the stuff that you
focus on. You got to kind of look at the
whole picture, the whole picture.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Yeah, but that's a grounded approach. Yeah, very responsible.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
I like that very growing up.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Look at him, Look at him. So another thing we
talked about was your honest and I was waiting for
you to make like a Uranus ship.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
I mean, I'm just like I can't believe she pronounces
it that way, but like it's the grown up thing
to do about your You say, I thought it's uranus.
That's how I've always said it.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
I feel like you just want to say it that way.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
That's how I've always said it, uranus.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
I mean, none of that surprises me that that's how
you say it. But in school, okay, well I don't
know Mark, right, I mean, Marv says uranus, and I
prefer not to say your urinus if I can, because
it's always met with a joke. So anyway, that energy
is very break out, breakthrough, break free is what Marv
(22:35):
describes it as. And so Pisces and Uranus have a
lot going on there, not that we're doing astrology talk.
I'm just kidding you guys, a little backstory, but I
was thinking about it, just as you just said the
thing about your last relationship too, because it did kind
of break down to then break you free, like you
have become this new version of yourself since that relationship,
(22:57):
and you kind of need sometimes this breakdown to break free.
And I think a lot of times we like want
to hold ourselves back from that because it's really scary
and it can feel almost like unconventional, like we're just
feel like we're supposed to have this security and go
with the flow, and that energy isn't, you know, And
so we have a lot of that coming up, and
so maybe paying attention to the different ways that, like
(23:20):
if we feel like something's being shaken or being unearthed
in a way like almost to lean into it a
little bit more. Do you know what I mean? Have
you ever had a time in your life where you
were feeling like unsettled or uncertain and you leaned it anyway,
even if it was really scary. I know we've talked
about when you moved to Nashville, which I relate to.
(23:41):
That was a big one for me, like upending my
whole life in Baton Rouge just because I just knew.
I was like, I don't know what it is about
that place, I just know that I have to be there.
I came here with no job, similar to you, I
didn't really have that many friends. I had a couple
family members that lived here like extended family, but I
was just to do it. I remember my parents being
(24:01):
like wait what They were just like you don't have
anything you're going to and I was like, no, it's
just like I'm just following my heart. Like I just knew.
It was like an intuition thing. What about you.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
I mean, definitely the Nashville thing. And I think I
say Nashville because obviously I've moved from Virginia to New York,
New York to LA. The Nashville thing to me. The
reason why I highlight that one is because even though
I was staying in the same industry, I was like
flipping it on its head. I had worked in pop
and rock and alternative, and suddenly I was entering this
(24:34):
space that was country. And I also knew that at
the time, you know, I'd been warned not to come
in and act like, well, we're going to do things
my way. Yeah, I needed to learn the Nashville system,
which I'm grateful that I, you know, got that advice
because now being part of the Nashville system and we're
seeing the popularity in country music, we're experiencing a lot
(24:55):
of the what we call the coastal labels coming into
town and trying to do it their way or our
talent away from us. So that was scary. I definitely
felt like I had a safety net, so it wasn't that,
you know, remarkable. But you know, I quit my first
job at Atlantic Records in New York, and that that
was a terrifying thing to me. But my gut was
(25:16):
telling me I had to do it. But my mind
was telling me everyone's going to think that you moved
to New York and failed. But the truth was I
and I had to like learn this from myself, you know,
through talking to people and just like trusting my intuition
was that I had achieved my dream. My dream had
come to an end and it was time for a
new one. And I didn't know that, but I knew it,
(25:39):
you know, And I was scaring it look like a failure.
And I was like, wait a minute, who can point
their finger it me inside? I failed. I did everything
I set out to do. It just wasn't that dream.
Wasn't meant to be forever.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Well, that's the interesting thing about the way our society
is structured, though, isn't it. It's because it's like we
feel like, once we're set up. I think I've talked
about this before. It's like we think we got to
get to this d marker of get married, have a kid,
get this amazing job, but then it's like a lot
of people start having midlife crisis because they're like, is
(26:15):
that it? That's it? Like I'm here, I got the things,
and like I stop, And actually, I don't believe that
that's what our soul wants. Like I think we're constantly
evolving until the day we die, if we allow ourselves.
And so the security that you felt would have been
easy for you to stay in, Like that's what I hear.
It's like you had talked enough of an established place
(26:36):
to where you could have stayed that way forever. But
you probably were feeling unsettled or that calling or whatever
it was you're feeling, and you took the chance and
you followed it, which I think now you would say,
like the reward has been massive, right, Like what do
you feel like you've gained from that?
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Well, I think every step in my career has felt
like a step forward. And you know, I'm I'm one
of the lucky ones because our business is so fickle
that there's I know plenty of people that got laid
off from downsizing, and every time something downsizes, I mean
jobs go away, and there's it's not like there's just
a plethora of music business jobs out there, so I
(27:14):
know there's like a trail of dead behind me, and
somehow I've managed to stay in this business and continue
to grow in it for my whole career. I mean,
I honestly like, if I didn't do this, I don't
know what I would do. You know, if I got
fired tomorrow, it would feel like the world was in it.
I'm sure I would pick myself up and figure out
(27:34):
something because I have translatable skills, but I don't know
that i'd want to do anything else. Yeah, to be honest,
so I feel really really fortunate, and even some of
those the scariest decisions that you know, I had to
just trust my gut ended up being right. You know.
I moved to New York City on a bus with
two suitcases on weekend, Yeah, my parents on a Greyhound
(27:59):
bus on like I went overnight. And when I got there,
I took a cab to my friend's apartment and he
wasn't home and I had to like sit in the
rain with my suit And this was pre cell phones.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
Yeah wow. Yeah, I said this to you before the podcast,
and you were kind of like, I don't know, but
I'm curious, Like when you came out to me. That's
very rebellious almost because I know, like what you came
from and where you came from. Yeah, but you were like,
I don't know because like in society was it? But
at that time, you don't think that that was a
(28:34):
big one.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
It's definitely like, yeah, I mean it was. I don't
know that it's that remarkable.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
See, I think it is because you leed like becoming
true to yourself was more important than like living some
life that was externally pleasing to the people around you, right, And.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
I guess maybe the reason why I say I don't
think it's remarkable is because it finally got to a
point where I had to do it. You know. It
wasn't because I was being outed or anything like that.
It was just like I could not continue to live
a lie, and so I had to do it. And
it was terrifying because it was like I thought my
world was gonna end.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Well, but you knew that moment would change everything.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Right, it would change everything. And the truth is it's
changed everything for the better, you know, Like I you know,
I can't say I can only speak from my experience,
but my family they're small town people, and that's all
they've ever really known, and I think it was a
surprise to them. I mean, I know it was a
surprise to them. They didn't know, which was hysterical to
(29:39):
me because I thought for sure they knew, and they've
come around and like they love me, and I don't
know that they'll ever really understand, but I don't think
they need to. I also, like, don't need to understand
their desires for each other. I just know my parents
love each other and that's what matters. So I guess
it doesn't feel that remarkable, but I know that there
(29:59):
are plenty of people in my situation that can never
and will never get to live their truth in.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Their entire lifetime. Like could you imagine I mean, you're
almost fifty, but imagine if you were still not out,
which is I think fairly common in the South.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
And people like really you know, put themselves in a
pickle by getting married and having children, and then it's
like a domino effect that like they can't do it
because it ruins so many other things. Like I know
several people that have fathers who have come out fairly
late in life, you know, like their children are adults.
(30:37):
And all the people that I know that have fathers
that did that. They love their dad and they're really
excited and all the things, but there's also a sadness
of like, how could you do that to mom? You know?
But I've read some really interesting stories about like these
situations where the mom is actually like had felt very
(30:58):
loved and taken care of. And if their children are
adults now, they grew up in a time where it
was like a lot more traditional, like this is the
male role in the family, this is the female role,
and outside of just having a lot of sex together,
like their family was exactly what they'd wanted. But you know,
it doesn't mean that there's not heartbreak when the truth
comes to be. But yeah, there's actually a family here
(31:21):
in Nashville that I think you're getting a realt They've
got a reality show coming. He's a New York Times
best selling author. There's actually a family here in Nashville
that I think they're getting a realit. They've got a
reality show coming. He's a New York Times best selling author.
(31:44):
For his name's Matthew Something. He writes children's books, Christian
children's books, and he came out.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
And I can see why he would struggle see.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Yeah, but he and his wife friends. I think they
might live next door to each other now, and they've
like figured out a make way to make it work.
And you know, like honestly, when people say love is love,
like it doesn't have to be a sexual thing, Like
he can have love for this woman and be really
happy that she is the mother of his children, but
(32:16):
still need to find sexual satisfaction in someone else. And
it's kind of a beautiful thing that they've been able
to sort of land here. That to me, is more
remarkable than coming out, because it's like he had to
like come out and rebuild. I guess I did too,
But I think.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
You can't give yourself enough credit because I think I
do think nowadays it might sound a little bit crazy
to people to even imagine that. More so, although I
think it's still very prevalent, because I think it's just
it's just talked about more. It's more accepted things like that,
But when you came out, it really wasn't. And like
(32:56):
I think a lot of these stories, like even the
story you just told, fall under that situation. But also
like if you did go about your life of like
building a family or all that stuff, then the stakes
are just higher, so then you're almost like stuck in
a different kind of way. So anyway, I.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Think you're breaking a lot of hearts.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
Yeah. I just think anytime you're going against the grain
of what we deem quote unquote normal, it's an act
of courage and it's somewhat rebellious and unconventional, you know,
which would tie into your honest energy.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Yeah. For me, the way that I see it is
like society, we've set up these norms. Yeah, this is
the way that society is supposed to to be. But
wouldn't the world be so much better if we weren't
all putting ourselves in these boxes and we were just
who we are, and we could accept people for who
they are, and then everyone could live with courage. It's like, right,
(33:49):
it's not to me. It's not that foreign of a
concept to just be able to have the courage to
be you. But we've trained ourselves to be so judgmental,
and it's so that someone's controlling that, Like someone came
up with these norms so that they could have control,
and now it's just accepted.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Well, yeah, and I think it was like something in us.
You just want to feel normal, A lot of times,
and I think, like you want to feel when you
say that, it's almost like you just want to feel
the same as so you don't feel separate because there
is something within us that craves community. But I'm like you,
I'm like, if everyone started showing up as their individual selves,
think about how much more productive our society would actually be,
(34:33):
because we all have these individual skill sets, right, and
a lot of times we're not even tapping into them
because we're trying to do things like we saw Susan
down the street do them, or you know, like anybody else,
and so you literally diminish your gifts when you do that,
instead of being able to work together and have the
kind of community that we probably all crave, which I'm hoping,
(34:56):
Like I keep having this feeling. I'm like, I just
really have this sense that like we're trying to move
in that direction, but it's gonna take a lot of
undoing first, because like you said, it's like where did
these programs even come from? Like who created these things?
But they're obviously not working anymore? Then Well that's mean,
(35:18):
But I mean I think even like if you want
to say that was the cause, I don't know that
that is what anybody wants anymore unless you're just really
concerned with what it would mean for it to change.
And that feels scary to you.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Right.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Like, obviously all of this, like astrology, if you're following
at all, is coming in and being like yo, lean in.
You know, you kind of touched on picking ourselves apart,
which is very much the energy of like this Virgo
full moon we have coming this month, and it's just like,
why are we so hard on ourselves? Why do we
ask ourselves to have this unattainable perfection? I do it,
(35:54):
I know you do it? And then we miss all
the good stuff? Like if I gave half of the
energy to focusing on the positive qualities about me as
I do on like the negatives, I mean god, it
would open me up so much, you know, or like
focusing on all the positive feedback we get versus the
one negative. It's just like, why do we do that
(36:18):
to ourselves? What is that coming from? Where is that
being driven or what is that being driven by?
Speaker 2 (36:23):
Yeah, it's a great question. And the crazy part about
it too is it's so easy and admirable to recognize
in other people when they possess that quality of like
confidence and authenticity and yeah, authenticity and like leaning into
what they love about themselves. And you know, I know
(36:45):
we've brought up mel already, but I think that, like
that's one of the things I love. Yeah, that's one
of the things that I'm really loving about listening to
her because she's very open about the shift that she's
had in her life and that's why she is doing
all of this writing and podcasting now because she was
once in our shoes where she was full of doubt
(37:06):
and never thought anything was going to work out and
all of the things. And you look at the I mean,
she's kind of building like this amazing media empire just
off the back of like loving herself, being being positive.
I Mean, it's funny because like sometimes I'm listening, I'm like,
this is really repetitive. But I'm like, maybe that's the
fucking answer. Is that we have to remind ourselves over
(37:28):
and over and over again that we are worthy, we
are loved, we're special, we have something to contribute you.
And you know, I think that it all goes back
to that control thing, because for those of us who
don't believe that we're worthy or valued or whatever, have something.
They probably grew up in a house where they were
told that they were worthless. No one loves you. All
(37:51):
of the things that a horrible parent would do, and
there's plenty of them out there, you know. And sometimes
it's not even that direct. You just have parents are
too busy working to actually like spend the proper amount
of time or hug you or tell you that they
love you enough, so you're not hearing it, so you
start to tell yourself that. So, yeah, I just think
it's so.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
I just think it's yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
I think yeah. I think it's just really important to
remind ourselves of that. And whether we need to go
listen to Mel Robbins say it over and over and
over again so that we ingrain it into our minds,
or we can just wake up every morning and have
a sticky note on our mirror that says you are loved.
And even if that's just from yourself, that's enough.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
You're saying that, And there's a sign behind you right
now that says love yourself.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
Yeah, love yourself.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Didn't you paint that? I think I remember.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
Wheeler painted that for me. Yeah, it's it was a mirror,
it's a mural, and I wonder if it's still there.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
I don't know. We saw a mural in Ashville. Yeah,
I don't know. It's so much instruction has happened. I
love what you said though about sometimes it's repetitive, and
then you were like, wait, but maybe it's that simple.
And that's why, because I do feel like in some
ways I've gone all the way around the world and
looked for things in jobs and relationships, in therapy and
(39:11):
healing and all these things, and all of that stuff,
and all of that journey for me was very beneficial,
and I don't think I would have been able to
get to the place that I am now without it.
But it is true, like I really get back to
every day, it all is within me every time, and
that is the answer. It's never outside of me. It
(39:31):
never is. And it's always about loving myself or being
enough tapped into my own intuition that I find the
answers and obviously seeking guidance where we need it. But
like it all comes back to us every time, and
if we hate ourselves, you're never going to be able
to have that relationship with yourself or that journey with
yourself to get there.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
Right, Well, it's it's I mean, it also comes back
to you saying like, I don't understand why I will
focus on the one bad comment I've got. It's the
same thing when you're talking to yourself. It's it's so
true if you're constantly like I'm too fat, I'm ugly,
I can't find a date, blah blah blah, like you're
hearing that, like that is what you are telling yourself.
(40:14):
And by the way, no one else is saying it.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
No else, nobody else is.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
Sitting around talking about what your body looks like. Yeah,
and the more that you tell yourself, it is a
self fulfilling prophecy. And it's like I think that if
you wake up in the morning and you do say
one nice thing to yourself or do one nice thing
for yourself, it starts your day in a very different light.
And don't I don't think it's that hard, but I
(40:41):
do think it takes repetition to become a habit. So yeah,
you just have to do it over and over and
over again. And you know, it's funny because like even
the clarity and what your mom and dad were saying,
and like the instinctness, like I attribute this like to
the fact that I have been binging Mel Robbins.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
I think we all get our lessons and I hear
our growth from someone else. Like So however, I always
say to people like I just want to expose everyone
to all the different avenues that you can have a
different facilitator or different kind of work that resonates with you,
because like Mel really resonates with you, like you're really
learning something from that, and so great, like who cares
(41:18):
how you get it? If you get it, Like that's
always the best thing to me. One of the things
that I've been doing in the mornings, if anyone has
insight tim er, the facilitator is Kenneth Sorez. I can't
remember if I've talked about this on the podcast, but
he does all of these meditations that are just I
AM affirmations and it's literally what you're talking about, like
(41:40):
you program your brain. It's ten minutes in the morning
that I just play these affirmations. But we don't realize
how much we're taking in in our subconscious I mean,
Marvi and I were just talking about this. Ninety five
percent of our thoughts and our actions are driven by
our subconscious mind. Only five percent is conscious so it's
like all of these underlying negative thoughts that we have
(42:02):
about ourselves, about the world, about whatever, are probably driving
more of our decisions than we would ever even know.
And so if you're only feeding it negative stuff, that's
going to be what your actions say and what you
get back as well. So, like when I do these,
or sometimes when I can't sleep, he has these like
deep sleep affirmations. He literally says, like your body knows
(42:23):
how to sleep. At the beginning, he like reminds my
body it knows how to sleep, and it just starts
in on these like positive affirmations that go for like
two hours. But every single time I do that, I
wake up in the morning in such a more light,
like a lighter way, a more positive mindset. I'm like
ready to take on the day, even if my sleep
was disrupted at some point, and it's just starting to
(42:45):
like really resonate with me or really register how important
the thought process and our subconscious thinking really really really is.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
I agree. Yeah. The doctor that she entered that of
interview today, he said he does a five minute workout
every day, like whether it's the push ups or kettlebells,
and he gets up really early and he does it.
He says, he wakes up at five am, and he's like,
that doesn't have to be for everybody, Like, you have
five minutes no matter what time you wake up. But
he starts the coffee pot and then does his five
minute workout in the kitchen, and there his reasoning for it,
(43:18):
and he's like, I understand that a five minute workout
is not going to make me Arnold Schwarzenegger. But what
it does is it sets the tone for his day,
and he's already done something good for himself, so he
treats himself better for the rest of the day. And
he's like, it's like a habit. He mentioned he was like,
imagine if you didn't brush your teeth right two minutes
in the morning and two minutes at night, like eventually
(43:38):
your teeth would rotten fall out. So it's just a
compounding thing too. It's like, over your lifetime, if you
are doing that five minute workout every day, you've collectively
given your body a lot of love that most people
aren't doing. So he's like, there were the two points
there was like the habitual nature of it is over time,
you're doing something actually really healthy for your body too.
(44:00):
You give yourself a nice push in the morning. It
just starts your day, right, And I think most of us,
like we roll out of bed, our phone is our alarm,
we get on Instagram, we feel like less than and
then we're in our emails and fuck, we've messed up
our morning already. I know, I'm guilty.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
You're reading the news and all of a sudden you're like, Okay,
the world's ending.
Speaker 2 (44:20):
So yeah, if you can want to get some sunlight,
you know, like they say that's really important, like sun
sky before screen, guy before screen. Did you no, I
think that's something that I saw on Instagram fund. You know,
but then there are people that have to leave before work,
but you know, before the sun comes up. Yeah, but
(44:44):
you know, try to avoid any sort of outside influence
first thing in the morning, so that you can spend
some time with yourself, like I have healthy thoughts. You
can read, you can journal, you can meditate. There's a
million things that you can do. I'm gonna buy an
alarm clock.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
Oh so you don't look at your phone. I like
that idea. Yeah, go on, old school.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
I'm gonna go old school.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
Love it. Well, I love all this And so if
you guys are more curious about some of the energies
we talked about, or if you're into astrology, definitely go
listen to my podcast with Marv that came out on Wednesday.
I do like this with you where we're like we're
almost bringing it down to earth kind of like what
we talked about, Like me and Marv are up in
the clouds discussing what the planets are doing, and then
you and I are like, here's how this is playing
(45:28):
out in my life, like so here.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
Yeah, I mean it helps it Like I'm going to
be a pro at astrology before the end of the
year because now, well.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
I understand it's coming into your brain more than you.
Speaker 2 (45:38):
Yeah, now it's yeah, because it feels very real world
to Yeah, you discuss it this way.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
Well, if you guys have any thoughts on this or
any astrology or energy that you want to discuss with us,
you can always email us at the Edge at velvest
edge dot com. And I swear to god it goes
such a long way if you slide into our dms
or any sort of feedback that you guys have about
these podcasts, what you're liking, what you're not liking, Like
we just love to hear from you. And truly I
(46:06):
have this new mentality of where I'm going to try
to start saying this to myself and also telling others,
Like there's so much negativity out there, there's so many trolls,
there's so many haters. We positive people or the people
who have positive feedback or anything like that, like we
got to get louder. We can't keep letting them run
the world, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (46:23):
Right?
Speaker 1 (46:24):
So, anyway, if you want to get loud in my
DM's and a positive slide on in, it's at Velvet's Edge. Chip.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
I'm at Chip doors. It's Chip d r scch.
Speaker 1 (46:35):
But as you guys go into the weekends and you're
living on the edge, I hope you always remember too.
Speaker 2 (46:41):
Casual Fie
We just said, we don't know if this is gonna
be a good or a bad thing. But today we
just had a couple things we just wanted to riff about.
To see riff what happened. I was telling you so
the podcast last week. You know, it was very like
almost a little bit deep dive. It was a little emotional.
I mean, I got Tyria. I had like four times
(00:25):
that you said, and we definitely got a lot of
feedback in a positive way. Thank you guys so much.
I told Chip there was a bunch of y'all that
slid into my DMS just like he asked y'all to do,
and it was so helpful. Like one of the things
that I think is so interesting is I do think
we lose kind of these concepts of like what reality
is because the negativity, the hate, the trolls, they're just louder,
(00:50):
Like it's so much easier. I think were the type
of person. I can't decide if it's like easier or
if it's a certain type of person takes the time
to go calm, to go DM to go do all
these things. And then on the flip side, people who
are positive or who are not gonna like you know,
say all these negative things who just enjoy you are
(01:12):
enjoying listening to the podcast, just think it and don't
necessarily go say.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
It righted to go say something yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
And it's just like I I've actually I lived that way,
and so it's like it's really made me kind of
think about, Okay, I need to be better about that.
But it was so helpful because a lot of you
did slide into my DMS and just shoot me straight
on what you thought about some of the stuff we
were talking about the end, and like some of the
things that I admitted to still struggling with because they
still exist in my world and I don't like that.
(01:41):
But it also feels really nice to know that it
is only because the trolls or the haters sometimes are
just louder because they take the time to do it.
But there's a lot of other things out there, and
so I don't know, it just helps me to put
the negativity aside and to keep and to realize that like, yeah,
(02:03):
like that's just a tiny piece of it. It doesn't
have to be the whole puzzle.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Obviously, these things cause a stress reaction for you, you know. Yeah,
And I was listening to a podcast. I'm Mel Robbins,
who I'm addicted to.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
You're obsessed, I'm obsessed. Use your news act show, I.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Know, but it's so much better for me because it's
like real information, not just like celebrity interviews. But she
was interviewing a doctor whose name I can't remember now,
and he was saying that what stress is, it's actually
a survival mechanism for our body. Because if you go
back to when we were like hunter gatherers, like if
we were living out on the planes, and you know,
(02:41):
we were out in the fields, like taking care of
the food for our families or whatever, and we saw
a predator coming toward our family, your body would get
stressed because it goes from survival mode and it causes
like your blood pressure to go up so that your
heart's pumping more stuff. It causes your adrenaline a spike,
It causes all of these things that actually are dressers
on your body. So, I mean, the point that this
(03:03):
doctor was making is that we now live in a
world where like we're constantly stressed out right because of
social media and because of the news, and because we're
all over worked and all of the things, like we're
not resting the way that we should. And it's just
there's so many more things to stress us out, and
so that people were living in this constant state of stress,
which means that we're giving ourselves high blood pressure. You know,
(03:25):
we're using up all of our dopamine and adrenaline because
you know, these moments like they're constant. And it wasn't
always that like a bear was coming to get you back.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
In the day. No, But isn't it interesting that the
things that used to stress them like back in the day,
the times that you're speaking about. The things that used
to stress people out were will I be able to
literally survive? Like do I have a roof over my head?
Will I have food today on the table? Will a
bear eat me? Those kind of things?
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Right now? My child make it through the night?
Speaker 1 (03:55):
You know, does anyone have dysphoria or type whatever they
talked about on the Oregon Trail like stick, I can't
remember any of the diseases right now. But my people
always used to die. But nowadays it's almost like this
figurative stress on your life, Like what I feel what
you're talking about, when I feel when I start getting
hate or when some other article comes out is like
(04:17):
it feels like I'm going to die. I mean, but
it's actually going.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Going to But your body is having that same response.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Because it makes me. Yeah, it threatens my livelihood, is
what it does.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Like it's a real threat. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Yeah, it's so interesting.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
It really is. So I guess the challenge then is
to figure out how to avoid stress because it is
very real, Like you might not die from it, but
you are making your body unhealthy by allowing it into
your life because your body is having that physical reaction.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Well, it kind of brings me back to that point
that I always talk about, like you can't feel gratitude
and anxiety at the same time. So, like what happened
for me when I got the positive feedback in my
DMS was I felt so grateful and I was like,
oh my god, people see me and they know me,
and they don't believe fake narratives or they can see
(05:12):
through the lies and the bullshit or whatever that is.
And immediately it lowered my anxiety. And if I don't
have that and I don't focus on the things I
can be grateful for, I feel just really anxious and stressed.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
And so maybe when you see these shitty comments. Just
be grateful that you're living rent free in these people's minds,
you know, like you're just like, really I matter that
much to you that you're gonna.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Fuck get out of your life miserable.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yeah, yeah, it's like how bored are you?
Speaker 1 (05:42):
You know, really bored, but also really angry and sad,
And it makes me sad as an overall that like
so many people in our society are just that low
because I don't think anyone who's in a good place
or a high place or a high vibration takes the
time to hate on anyone else, Like we just don't
do that, you know. No, So anyway, all that to say,
(06:04):
I told you, I mean, my mom and dad have
just raped and they last week so much. I know,
it feels so nice. It's crazy because I think I
mentioned last week, like isn't it funny that we still
chase our parents' approval? And no, I do not live
and die by my parents' approval, but I will say
it always feels so lovely to have your parents feel
proud of the work that you're doing and feel like, Okay,
(06:27):
you're doing something positive, like both of my parents were,
Like it was just so lovely to hear you and
ship just like two friends supporting each other. And I
was like, well, that's what we are, you know.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
I mean the fact that they listen, that they invest
the time as a man, my parents don't know what
a podcast is when parents are younger than mine. But yeah, yeah,
they wouldn't know how to listen to Faith.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
I do feel like they would support you if they
knew how.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Yeah, I mean, they probably wouldn't like some of the
language I use, but that's fair. Don't dig back in
the old ones. Mom.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
We've evolved, We've grown, you really have. But anyway, so
thank you guys so much. It was so helpful and again,
like I just for me with Chip, it's been such
a fun journey for us to get to experience all
of this together and watch each other grow, I think,
and kind of be with each other on this journey.
So we're glad that you guys are on it with us.
(07:21):
So on Wednesday's podcast, it was an astrology podcast show.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Okay, way talk about my stress.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Like going up, yeah immediately, but okay, so light on
the astrology talk. We'll talk about the themes though. But
so there's a Piscey's new moon and a Virgo full
moon that we're going to kind of address through the
energetic themes and kind of some of the things that
the questions that it made me think about, and I
think that you can kind of speak to and then
(07:54):
also some things maybe we can all collectively focus on
as this month goes on. It's weird because if you're
on social media at all and you follow any kind
of astrologers, everyone's like dun dun dum about March. Like
there's just feels like there's a lot going on. But
what I love about my podcast with Marv is Marv's
always kind of like, okay, I mean, like in pop culture, yeah,
(08:17):
they are going to be doomsday because the same thing
as the news, that's what gets clicks and that's what
gets people's attention. But the reality is is anytime we're
having these major shifts, there are things to learn, Like
it's happening for a reason, and so we can either
get doomsday about it or we can get curious. And
I would prefer to stay curious myself.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
So find find the lessons.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Yeah, just like and it doesn't have to be bad
lessons either, Like lessons can be beautiful and they can
give you a lot of gifts, you know, or there
can be a lot of positivity that comes. Like I
think sometimes on social media the astrology really focuses on
the shadows and the negative, and it doesn't it doesn't
always mean that. So if you have listen yet, go
(09:01):
listen to the Wednesday podcast because Marve really does a
big breakdown of all of these things. But part of
like Pisce's energy chip, which you and I both have
Pisce's moons, which is our emotional core, and that just
really is like a very sensitive energy. Like I don't
know that you express it in the same way as
that I do. You're a little more like reserved. Maybe
(09:22):
it's the boy, maybe it's all the scorpio in your chart,
but you kind of hold it in a little more
than I do. But it basically it means like we're
two of the most sensitive humans ever, you know, and
in a positive way. It can also mean you're very
compassionate and empathetic to people. We both have a lot
of friends, Like I think, we just really love people
and people's energy, and that's part of that Pisce's it's
(09:45):
also very dream like so all of your like, what
if your creativity that comes from your Pisce's energy. So
we talked a lot about that. And immediately when Marv
is talking about Okay, get in your dreams and get
in this place where you're not fantasizing but you're almost
like manifesting these new creations, I think of you because
(10:09):
I just feel like you're probably my most I mean,
we have a lot of creative friends, but you're my
most like dreamy creative friend, like you would just imagine
these scenarios. Do you agree with that, though, think?
Speaker 2 (10:21):
I mean, I definitely probably have the most overactive imagination.
I just never squashed it.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
And yeah, it is almost funny because like.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Yeah, it's very childlike. I mean, I also smoke a
lot of weed, which I haven't I haven't in a while.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
More clear, without that, it's so interesting.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
I also, I mean, I'm I'm generally a really positive person,
which makes like that quality of being super positive. I
also believe that anything is possible, and I think that
helps with like my the dreamer in me. I agree,
And I've always kind of been really creative and imagined it.
When I was younger, I was definitely a lot more sensitive.
(11:03):
I was. I cried a lot more, and I was
I mean, like, the first time, first and only time
ever went hunting, I killed two squirrels, and I was so,
I think I've told this story. I was so proud
and I got home and like, you know, it was
two squirrels and you remove the tail and stuff, and
I was like, I had these tales, and I showed
my mom and I was like so proud, and then
(11:24):
she couldn't find me, and she found me upstairs crying
and I was like, and I had the tails and
I was petting them, and I was like, I want
to bring my gun. I'm never hunting again. Like I
was so sad about the fact that I had killed
two squirrels and that was me, and I was like,
I was also like the kid that if I lied
an hour later, I was going back and crying and
(11:47):
telling the truth. Me too, Me did not live with mine.
So yeah, I was a lot more sensitive. Like I
had a really hard time dealing with like the death
of pets and the death of loved ones, which you know,
in the moment, you know, you're never thankful that anything's dying,
but like I'm looking back, you're great. I'm grateful that
(12:07):
I experienced that stuff young because it's made it easier
to sort of understand and wrap my head around as
an older person.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
So, but you definitely sound like you were a very sensitive.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Child, probably just don't show it. Yeah, I was going
to say openness is different.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Yeah, yeah, as you get older. And it's also like
that that I do feel like is harder for men
because society is so like don't cry, like, don't show emotion,
and so you just almost like got conditioned as you
got older. Roudly. Yeah, So we've talked about this a
lot on the podcast, but you always have these like
what if, Like, yes, if you haven't heard us talk
about it, we'll literally just all be sitting around and
(12:44):
Chip Chip will interject something and he's like, y'all what
if and he goes into I mean, it can be
the most bizarre situations, like you said, imaginative that I
wouldn't never think of, and like, you're right, my brain
immediately goes, well, that will ever happen? And you're so
positive that you're like, it.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Could, it could, and it usually will involve like a
stranger that's in the room too, Like you know, we
love this restaurant called Sperry's, and it would be like,
here's an example. I would be like, what if I
just went over there and started making like a bananas
foster for that table? And because they did make you
think of that, they do table side bananas foster like it.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
He scoots the server over and immediately it's something that
I would wiping.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
It out truly imagine myself doing it, but I would
never actually do it.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
I imagine like for some reason, you know, when you
go to Habaji and like they're throwing That's how I
imagine you doing bananas foster, just like lame's going and
just all of a sudden, you magically have a chef's
on like I don't know why, but you found I would.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
I would, and then I wouldn't share it. I'd need
it all myself.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
So you make it for the table and then you
feel the card over.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Sorry, y'all, not enough for you?
Speaker 1 (14:02):
What if?
Speaker 2 (14:05):
So?
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Is there a what if that you can think of?
I'm so pissed that I haven't written any of these
down that you were like that one's just a little crazy,
like that you took it too far.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Oh, I feel like I always take it too far.
I mean it's I don't know. There's sometimes it's like
smacking strangers and stuff like.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Like slopping them.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Yeah, like you like, yeah, Like there's like if it's
there's an annoying person at an event or something like,
which I'll do if I went over there and just
lit that girl's hair on fire right now, you know,
like something like that. Like I definitely have those mean
thoughts too, but I usually will say it out loud
for the laugh, you know, like.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
That's always's hair off. You're never going to to do it.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
She deserves it. I'm not going to do it. I
will dare someone else to. That's my real goal is
to convince someone else to do these things.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
I don't. I think they're way too far out there.
Hopefully no one ever listens to Chip. If Chip ever
dares YouTube, please don't do it.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Yeah, don't do it. Don't do it.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Sometimes my brain definitely creates a little far fetched, like
in the ideas. A lot of it will revolve around
work for me of like oh it would be so
a magical or so amazing if like those kind of things.
But I don't feel like anything's ever really like crossed
a line or been something that I've tried, and it's
like bit me in the ass later, do you know
(15:29):
what I'm saying. Yeah, maybe we wrangle our creativity and
our imagination a little bit. I mean, this month could
get wild. Maybe we'll just start acting shit out.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Yeah, maybe we will. And if not, like we should
definitely write down some of the crazier things that I
say and then we can report back on them. So
it's like a true example and okay, made up thing
here on the spot.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Oh yeah, I mean this does exist. So you're right,
we don't really have the proof for the people. So
we'll come back to you guys with some what ifs.
You know that I'm not just making this up, right.
You sent me a video earlier today and I actually
(16:11):
thought about this with the Pisces energy because the video
that you sent and you can tell the people about this,
but it was very much in line with like this
girl was not supposed to die, like it wasn't her
time and it was wild and that is this like
mystical moment that we can't explain, right, Like it makes
me go and I don't know if it made you go.
(16:31):
There is spirit, there's something and there's timelines for us,
and we really have no idea, like we're just not
in control. Tell the people about the story and then
we'll get.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Talk about that. It's this insane video of a woman.
She's getting ready to get in her parked car. So
imagine it's like on the sidewalk. She's like leaving a
store or something. There's another woman who's witnessing it. Also,
it's caught on camera from two angles, which is also unbelievab.
But she it's a city street and she is on
(17:03):
the driver's side getting ready to open the driver's side
door of her car when a car coming up the
street crashes into the back of her car. Since her
car flying and because it hit her car and not her,
it ricochetes to the right and creates like this safety
triangle and like the yeah, her dress blows, that's it.
(17:26):
She doesn't even fall down, and so this destruction happens
all around her and she walks away the other car
like flips. It is insane. And Kelly said, like, imagine
how scared she was, And I was like or not
she had no idea what was coming because it was
her back was to it, Like I'm sure she was
like holy shit, what just happened and probably experienced some
(17:48):
shock afterwards, But that's also the adrenaline of like wow, wow,
that was exciting that I.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Just want to be honestly, until she watched the video back,
she didn't even understand how close she was to dying,
right because this car was going full speed. Yeah, like
if it had hit her, she'd be dead.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
She would have been blown to.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
The rains and the couchin basically just says like it
just wasn't her time.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Yeah, it's to me.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
I was like, if that girl doesn't feel this pool
to be like, Okay, I am still on this earth.
I got to figure out the reason. Like what am
I supposed to do here? I don't know who else
would because it is it's shocking. I'll post it for
you guys on my Instagram. But it is insane. And
that just that is very like Piscey spiritual. There is
(18:35):
something else here, whether you call it God, whether you
call it you know, whether it's Buddha, whatever it is
for you, a higher power of some kind has to exist.
Right when I see stuff like that, I'm like, there
is something else. There is a bigger something than me.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
I mean, it's I guess you could chalk it up to.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Just luck, but also or coincidence.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Are like, yeah, I mean it's I've watched it probably
forty times because I'm like, is this AI And I
really don't think it is. I think it's true.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
I forget it.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Just all the coincidences of like it being filmed by
these it's just security cameras that caught it, and the
fact that there was another human there to witness it
just blows my mind. Like I'm like, what are the
chances of all this aligned?
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Yeah? What about synchronicities? What are your feelings? Like, I
just don't believe things happen for no reason. Are like
that it's just like a coincidence or all these synchronicities
start happening in my life and it's not coming from
somewhere like a lot of times are all signs? I yeah,
Like I just think it's sign what's that movie that
Kate Beckensall movie? Do you remember that?
Speaker 2 (19:43):
All I can think of is sliding doors.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
With No But that's another one. Yeah, But it's the
same idea of like you're in the right place at
the right time. Had you been in that place a
minute later, you wouldn't have met the soulmate that you
know all. I think that they base it around dating.
I feel like it's called like synchronous. It's like something
like that. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
The last guy I dated, I got really hung up
in those synchronicities, and it wasn't necessarily things that were happening.
It was like past synchronicities. Okay, that like our lives
were so aligned in so many weird ways, and I
got really caught up in that and was not paying
attention to the things that weren't really working, you know,
(20:27):
like it just wow, oh my god. Yeah, we were
supposed to this was all supposed to happen, and I
got caught up in that, and I mean, we're not
dating anymore. But I think that there was probably a
reason still that I ended up meeting him, because I
did experience growth through that whole thing. But in the
moment I thought all those signs meant something, We're so
(20:49):
may well, yeah, I thought for sure that's what it meant.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Well, that's exactly kind of what I was discussing at
the beginning of this podcast and what Marvin I discussed about.
If you get too caught in the dream like states
or the fantasy, and you don't bring it down to reality,
it can't actually be useful to you. So if you
feel yourself like you're saying, noticing all the synchronicities and
kind of getting dreamy about it, you would also then
(21:14):
need to be like, and also, what's happening on this
day to day present moment right in front of me?
Am I fantasizing about what those synchronicities mean? Or is
it like a tangible thing that I can experience like
if from a grounded place? Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Yeah? My lesson there was you can't only focus on that.
You also have to like, it's not life. Isn't just mystical.
You know, there are very real world, grounded things that
are happening that you have to pay attention to. And
you can't just pick and choose the stuff that you
focus on. You got to kind of look at the
whole picture, the whole picture.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Yeah, but that's a grounded approach. Yeah, very responsible.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
I like that very growing up.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Look at him, Look at him. So another thing we
talked about was your honest and I was waiting for
you to make like a Uranus ship.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
I mean, I'm just like I can't believe she pronounces
it that way, but like it's the grown up thing
to do about your You say, I thought it's uranus.
That's how I've always said it.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
I feel like you just want to say it that way.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
That's how I've always said it, uranus.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
I mean, none of that surprises me that that's how
you say it. But in school, okay, well I don't
know Mark, right, I mean, Marv says uranus, and I
prefer not to say your urinus if I can, because
it's always met with a joke. So anyway, that energy
is very break out, breakthrough, break free is what Marv
(22:35):
describes it as. And so Pisces and Uranus have a
lot going on there, not that we're doing astrology talk.
I'm just kidding you guys, a little backstory, but I
was thinking about it, just as you just said the
thing about your last relationship too, because it did kind
of break down to then break you free, like you
have become this new version of yourself since that relationship,
(22:57):
and you kind of need sometimes this breakdown to break free.
And I think a lot of times we like want
to hold ourselves back from that because it's really scary
and it can feel almost like unconventional, like we're just
feel like we're supposed to have this security and go
with the flow, and that energy isn't, you know, And
so we have a lot of that coming up, and
so maybe paying attention to the different ways that, like
(23:20):
if we feel like something's being shaken or being unearthed
in a way like almost to lean into it a
little bit more. Do you know what I mean? Have
you ever had a time in your life where you
were feeling like unsettled or uncertain and you leaned it anyway,
even if it was really scary. I know we've talked
about when you moved to Nashville, which I relate to.
(23:41):
That was a big one for me, like upending my
whole life in Baton Rouge just because I just knew.
I was like, I don't know what it is about
that place, I just know that I have to be there.
I came here with no job, similar to you, I
didn't really have that many friends. I had a couple
family members that lived here like extended family, but I
was just to do it. I remember my parents being
(24:01):
like wait what They were just like you don't have
anything you're going to and I was like, no, it's
just like I'm just following my heart. Like I just knew.
It was like an intuition thing. What about you.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
I mean, definitely the Nashville thing. And I think I
say Nashville because obviously I've moved from Virginia to New York,
New York to LA. The Nashville thing to me. The
reason why I highlight that one is because even though
I was staying in the same industry, I was like
flipping it on its head. I had worked in pop
and rock and alternative, and suddenly I was entering this
(24:34):
space that was country. And I also knew that at
the time, you know, I'd been warned not to come
in and act like, well, we're going to do things
my way. Yeah, I needed to learn the Nashville system,
which I'm grateful that I, you know, got that advice
because now being part of the Nashville system and we're
seeing the popularity in country music, we're experiencing a lot
(24:55):
of the what we call the coastal labels coming into
town and trying to do it their way or our
talent away from us. So that was scary. I definitely
felt like I had a safety net, so it wasn't that,
you know, remarkable. But you know, I quit my first
job at Atlantic Records in New York, and that that
was a terrifying thing to me. But my gut was
(25:16):
telling me I had to do it. But my mind
was telling me everyone's going to think that you moved
to New York and failed. But the truth was I
and I had to like learn this from myself, you know,
through talking to people and just like trusting my intuition
was that I had achieved my dream. My dream had
come to an end and it was time for a
new one. And I didn't know that, but I knew it,
(25:39):
you know, And I was scaring it look like a failure.
And I was like, wait a minute, who can point
their finger it me inside? I failed. I did everything
I set out to do. It just wasn't that dream.
Wasn't meant to be forever.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Well, that's the interesting thing about the way our society
is structured, though, isn't it. It's because it's like we
feel like, once we're set up. I think I've talked
about this before. It's like we think we got to
get to this d marker of get married, have a kid,
get this amazing job, but then it's like a lot
of people start having midlife crisis because they're like, is
(26:15):
that it? That's it? Like I'm here, I got the things,
and like I stop, And actually, I don't believe that
that's what our soul wants. Like I think we're constantly
evolving until the day we die, if we allow ourselves.
And so the security that you felt would have been
easy for you to stay in, Like that's what I hear.
It's like you had talked enough of an established place
(26:36):
to where you could have stayed that way forever. But
you probably were feeling unsettled or that calling or whatever
it was you're feeling, and you took the chance and
you followed it, which I think now you would say,
like the reward has been massive, right, Like what do
you feel like you've gained from that?
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Well, I think every step in my career has felt
like a step forward. And you know, I'm I'm one
of the lucky ones because our business is so fickle
that there's I know plenty of people that got laid
off from downsizing, and every time something downsizes, I mean
jobs go away, and there's it's not like there's just
a plethora of music business jobs out there, so I
(27:14):
know there's like a trail of dead behind me, and
somehow I've managed to stay in this business and continue
to grow in it for my whole career. I mean,
I honestly like, if I didn't do this, I don't
know what I would do. You know, if I got
fired tomorrow, it would feel like the world was in it.
I'm sure I would pick myself up and figure out
(27:34):
something because I have translatable skills, but I don't know
that i'd want to do anything else. Yeah, to be honest,
so I feel really really fortunate, and even some of
those the scariest decisions that you know, I had to
just trust my gut ended up being right. You know.
I moved to New York City on a bus with
two suitcases on weekend, Yeah, my parents on a Greyhound
(27:59):
bus on like I went overnight. And when I got there,
I took a cab to my friend's apartment and he
wasn't home and I had to like sit in the
rain with my suit And this was pre cell phones.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
Yeah wow. Yeah, I said this to you before the podcast,
and you were kind of like, I don't know, but
I'm curious, Like when you came out to me. That's
very rebellious almost because I know, like what you came
from and where you came from. Yeah, but you were like,
I don't know because like in society was it? But
at that time, you don't think that that was a
(28:34):
big one.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
It's definitely like, yeah, I mean it was. I don't
know that it's that remarkable.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
See, I think it is because you leed like becoming
true to yourself was more important than like living some
life that was externally pleasing to the people around you, right, And.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
I guess maybe the reason why I say I don't
think it's remarkable is because it finally got to a
point where I had to do it. You know. It
wasn't because I was being outed or anything like that.
It was just like I could not continue to live
a lie, and so I had to do it. And
it was terrifying because it was like I thought my
world was gonna end.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Well, but you knew that moment would change everything.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Right, it would change everything. And the truth is it's
changed everything for the better, you know, Like I you know,
I can't say I can only speak from my experience,
but my family they're small town people, and that's all
they've ever really known, and I think it was a
surprise to them. I mean, I know it was a
surprise to them. They didn't know, which was hysterical to
(29:39):
me because I thought for sure they knew, and they've
come around and like they love me, and I don't
know that they'll ever really understand, but I don't think
they need to. I also, like, don't need to understand
their desires for each other. I just know my parents
love each other and that's what matters. So I guess
it doesn't feel that remarkable, but I know that there
(29:59):
are plenty of people in my situation that can never
and will never get to live their truth in.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Their entire lifetime. Like could you imagine I mean, you're
almost fifty, but imagine if you were still not out,
which is I think fairly common in the South.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
And people like really you know, put themselves in a
pickle by getting married and having children, and then it's
like a domino effect that like they can't do it
because it ruins so many other things. Like I know
several people that have fathers who have come out fairly
late in life, you know, like their children are adults.
(30:37):
And all the people that I know that have fathers
that did that. They love their dad and they're really
excited and all the things, but there's also a sadness
of like, how could you do that to mom? You know?
But I've read some really interesting stories about like these
situations where the mom is actually like had felt very
(30:58):
loved and taken care of. And if their children are
adults now, they grew up in a time where it
was like a lot more traditional, like this is the
male role in the family, this is the female role,
and outside of just having a lot of sex together,
like their family was exactly what they'd wanted. But you know,
it doesn't mean that there's not heartbreak when the truth
comes to be. But yeah, there's actually a family here
(31:21):
in Nashville that I think you're getting a realt They've
got a reality show coming. He's a New York Times
best selling author. There's actually a family here in Nashville
that I think they're getting a realit. They've got a
reality show coming. He's a New York Times best selling author.
(31:44):
For his name's Matthew Something. He writes children's books, Christian
children's books, and he came out.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
And I can see why he would struggle see.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Yeah, but he and his wife friends. I think they
might live next door to each other now, and they've
like figured out a make way to make it work.
And you know, like honestly, when people say love is love,
like it doesn't have to be a sexual thing, Like
he can have love for this woman and be really
happy that she is the mother of his children, but
(32:16):
still need to find sexual satisfaction in someone else. And
it's kind of a beautiful thing that they've been able
to sort of land here. That to me, is more
remarkable than coming out, because it's like he had to
like come out and rebuild. I guess I did too,
But I think.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
You can't give yourself enough credit because I think I
do think nowadays it might sound a little bit crazy
to people to even imagine that. More so, although I
think it's still very prevalent, because I think it's just
it's just talked about more. It's more accepted things like that,
But when you came out, it really wasn't. And like
(32:56):
I think a lot of these stories, like even the
story you just told, fall under that situation. But also
like if you did go about your life of like
building a family or all that stuff, then the stakes
are just higher, so then you're almost like stuck in
a different kind of way. So anyway, I.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Think you're breaking a lot of hearts.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
Yeah. I just think anytime you're going against the grain
of what we deem quote unquote normal, it's an act
of courage and it's somewhat rebellious and unconventional, you know,
which would tie into your honest energy.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Yeah. For me, the way that I see it is
like society, we've set up these norms. Yeah, this is
the way that society is supposed to to be. But
wouldn't the world be so much better if we weren't
all putting ourselves in these boxes and we were just
who we are, and we could accept people for who
they are, and then everyone could live with courage. It's like, right,
(33:49):
it's not to me. It's not that foreign of a
concept to just be able to have the courage to
be you. But we've trained ourselves to be so judgmental,
and it's so that someone's controlling that, Like someone came
up with these norms so that they could have control,
and now it's just accepted.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Well, yeah, and I think it was like something in us.
You just want to feel normal, A lot of times,
and I think, like you want to feel when you
say that, it's almost like you just want to feel
the same as so you don't feel separate because there
is something within us that craves community. But I'm like you,
I'm like, if everyone started showing up as their individual selves,
think about how much more productive our society would actually be,
(34:33):
because we all have these individual skill sets, right, and
a lot of times we're not even tapping into them
because we're trying to do things like we saw Susan
down the street do them, or you know, like anybody else,
and so you literally diminish your gifts when you do that,
instead of being able to work together and have the
kind of community that we probably all crave, which I'm hoping,
(34:56):
Like I keep having this feeling. I'm like, I just
really have this sense that like we're trying to move
in that direction, but it's gonna take a lot of
undoing first, because like you said, it's like where did
these programs even come from? Like who created these things?
But they're obviously not working anymore? Then Well that's mean,
(35:18):
But I mean I think even like if you want
to say that was the cause, I don't know that
that is what anybody wants anymore unless you're just really
concerned with what it would mean for it to change.
And that feels scary to you.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Right.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Like, obviously all of this, like astrology, if you're following
at all, is coming in and being like yo, lean in.
You know, you kind of touched on picking ourselves apart,
which is very much the energy of like this Virgo
full moon we have coming this month, and it's just like,
why are we so hard on ourselves? Why do we
ask ourselves to have this unattainable perfection? I do it,
(35:54):
I know you do it? And then we miss all
the good stuff? Like if I gave half of the
energy to focusing on the positive qualities about me as
I do on like the negatives, I mean god, it
would open me up so much, you know, or like
focusing on all the positive feedback we get versus the
one negative. It's just like, why do we do that
(36:18):
to ourselves? What is that coming from? Where is that
being driven or what is that being driven by?
Speaker 2 (36:23):
Yeah, it's a great question. And the crazy part about
it too is it's so easy and admirable to recognize
in other people when they possess that quality of like
confidence and authenticity and yeah, authenticity and like leaning into
what they love about themselves. And you know, I know
(36:45):
we've brought up mel already, but I think that, like
that's one of the things I love. Yeah, that's one
of the things that I'm really loving about listening to
her because she's very open about the shift that she's
had in her life and that's why she is doing
all of this writing and podcasting now because she was
once in our shoes where she was full of doubt
(37:06):
and never thought anything was going to work out and
all of the things. And you look at the I mean,
she's kind of building like this amazing media empire just
off the back of like loving herself, being being positive.
I Mean, it's funny because like sometimes I'm listening, I'm like,
this is really repetitive. But I'm like, maybe that's the
fucking answer. Is that we have to remind ourselves over
(37:28):
and over and over again that we are worthy, we
are loved, we're special, we have something to contribute you.
And you know, I think that it all goes back
to that control thing, because for those of us who
don't believe that we're worthy or valued or whatever, have something.
They probably grew up in a house where they were
told that they were worthless. No one loves you. All
(37:51):
of the things that a horrible parent would do, and
there's plenty of them out there, you know. And sometimes
it's not even that direct. You just have parents are
too busy working to actually like spend the proper amount
of time or hug you or tell you that they
love you enough, so you're not hearing it, so you
start to tell yourself that. So, yeah, I just think
it's so.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
I just think it's yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
I think yeah. I think it's just really important to
remind ourselves of that. And whether we need to go
listen to Mel Robbins say it over and over and
over again so that we ingrain it into our minds,
or we can just wake up every morning and have
a sticky note on our mirror that says you are loved.
And even if that's just from yourself, that's enough.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
You're saying that, And there's a sign behind you right
now that says love yourself.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
Yeah, love yourself.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Didn't you paint that? I think I remember.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
Wheeler painted that for me. Yeah, it's it was a mirror,
it's a mural, and I wonder if it's still there.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
I don't know. We saw a mural in Ashville. Yeah,
I don't know. It's so much instruction has happened. I
love what you said though about sometimes it's repetitive, and
then you were like, wait, but maybe it's that simple.
And that's why, because I do feel like in some
ways I've gone all the way around the world and
looked for things in jobs and relationships, in therapy and
(39:11):
healing and all these things, and all of that stuff,
and all of that journey for me was very beneficial,
and I don't think I would have been able to
get to the place that I am now without it.
But it is true, like I really get back to
every day, it all is within me every time, and
that is the answer. It's never outside of me. It
(39:31):
never is. And it's always about loving myself or being
enough tapped into my own intuition that I find the
answers and obviously seeking guidance where we need it. But
like it all comes back to us every time, and
if we hate ourselves, you're never going to be able
to have that relationship with yourself or that journey with
yourself to get there.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
Right, Well, it's it's I mean, it also comes back
to you saying like, I don't understand why I will
focus on the one bad comment I've got. It's the
same thing when you're talking to yourself. It's it's so
true if you're constantly like I'm too fat, I'm ugly,
I can't find a date, blah blah blah, like you're
hearing that, like that is what you are telling yourself.
(40:14):
And by the way, no one else is saying it.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
No else, nobody else is.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
Sitting around talking about what your body looks like. Yeah,
and the more that you tell yourself, it is a
self fulfilling prophecy. And it's like I think that if
you wake up in the morning and you do say
one nice thing to yourself or do one nice thing
for yourself, it starts your day in a very different light.
And don't I don't think it's that hard, but I
(40:41):
do think it takes repetition to become a habit. So yeah,
you just have to do it over and over and
over again. And you know, it's funny because like even
the clarity and what your mom and dad were saying,
and like the instinctness, like I attribute this like to
the fact that I have been binging Mel Robbins.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
I think we all get our lessons and I hear
our growth from someone else. Like So however, I always
say to people like I just want to expose everyone
to all the different avenues that you can have a
different facilitator or different kind of work that resonates with you,
because like Mel really resonates with you, like you're really
learning something from that, and so great, like who cares
(41:18):
how you get it? If you get it, Like that's
always the best thing to me. One of the things
that I've been doing in the mornings, if anyone has
insight tim er, the facilitator is Kenneth Sorez. I can't
remember if I've talked about this on the podcast, but
he does all of these meditations that are just I
AM affirmations and it's literally what you're talking about, like
(41:40):
you program your brain. It's ten minutes in the morning
that I just play these affirmations. But we don't realize
how much we're taking in in our subconscious I mean,
Marvi and I were just talking about this. Ninety five
percent of our thoughts and our actions are driven by
our subconscious mind. Only five percent is conscious so it's
like all of these underlying negative thoughts that we have
(42:02):
about ourselves, about the world, about whatever, are probably driving
more of our decisions than we would ever even know.
And so if you're only feeding it negative stuff, that's
going to be what your actions say and what you
get back as well. So, like when I do these,
or sometimes when I can't sleep, he has these like
deep sleep affirmations. He literally says, like your body knows
(42:23):
how to sleep. At the beginning, he like reminds my
body it knows how to sleep, and it just starts
in on these like positive affirmations that go for like
two hours. But every single time I do that, I
wake up in the morning in such a more light,
like a lighter way, a more positive mindset. I'm like
ready to take on the day, even if my sleep
was disrupted at some point, and it's just starting to
(42:45):
like really resonate with me or really register how important
the thought process and our subconscious thinking really really really is.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
I agree. Yeah. The doctor that she entered that of
interview today, he said he does a five minute workout
every day, like whether it's the push ups or kettlebells,
and he gets up really early and he does it.
He says, he wakes up at five am, and he's like,
that doesn't have to be for everybody, Like, you have
five minutes no matter what time you wake up. But
he starts the coffee pot and then does his five
minute workout in the kitchen, and there his reasoning for it,
(43:18):
and he's like, I understand that a five minute workout
is not going to make me Arnold Schwarzenegger. But what
it does is it sets the tone for his day,
and he's already done something good for himself, so he
treats himself better for the rest of the day. And
he's like, it's like a habit. He mentioned he was like,
imagine if you didn't brush your teeth right two minutes
in the morning and two minutes at night, like eventually
(43:38):
your teeth would rotten fall out. So it's just a
compounding thing too. It's like, over your lifetime, if you
are doing that five minute workout every day, you've collectively
given your body a lot of love that most people
aren't doing. So he's like, there were the two points
there was like the habitual nature of it is over time,
you're doing something actually really healthy for your body too.
(44:00):
You give yourself a nice push in the morning. It
just starts your day, right, And I think most of us,
like we roll out of bed, our phone is our alarm,
we get on Instagram, we feel like less than and
then we're in our emails and fuck, we've messed up
our morning already. I know, I'm guilty.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
You're reading the news and all of a sudden you're like, Okay,
the world's ending.
Speaker 2 (44:20):
So yeah, if you can want to get some sunlight,
you know, like they say that's really important, like sun
sky before screen, guy before screen. Did you no, I
think that's something that I saw on Instagram fund. You know,
but then there are people that have to leave before work,
but you know, before the sun comes up. Yeah, but
(44:44):
you know, try to avoid any sort of outside influence
first thing in the morning, so that you can spend
some time with yourself, like I have healthy thoughts. You
can read, you can journal, you can meditate. There's a
million things that you can do. I'm gonna buy an
alarm clock.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
Oh so you don't look at your phone. I like
that idea. Yeah, go on, old school.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
I'm gonna go old school.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
Love it. Well, I love all this And so if
you guys are more curious about some of the energies
we talked about, or if you're into astrology, definitely go
listen to my podcast with Marv that came out on Wednesday.
I do like this with you where we're like we're
almost bringing it down to earth kind of like what
we talked about, Like me and Marv are up in
the clouds discussing what the planets are doing, and then
you and I are like, here's how this is playing
(45:28):
out in my life, like so here.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
Yeah, I mean it helps it Like I'm going to
be a pro at astrology before the end of the
year because now, well.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
I understand it's coming into your brain more than you.
Speaker 2 (45:38):
Yeah, now it's yeah, because it feels very real world
to Yeah, you discuss it this way.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
Well, if you guys have any thoughts on this or
any astrology or energy that you want to discuss with us,
you can always email us at the Edge at velvest
edge dot com. And I swear to god it goes
such a long way if you slide into our dms
or any sort of feedback that you guys have about
these podcasts, what you're liking, what you're not liking, Like
we just love to hear from you. And truly I
(46:06):
have this new mentality of where I'm going to try
to start saying this to myself and also telling others,
Like there's so much negativity out there, there's so many trolls,
there's so many haters. We positive people or the people
who have positive feedback or anything like that, like we
got to get louder. We can't keep letting them run
the world, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (46:23):
Right?
Speaker 1 (46:24):
So, anyway, if you want to get loud in my
DM's and a positive slide on in, it's at Velvet's Edge. Chip.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
I'm at Chip doors. It's Chip d r scch.
Speaker 1 (46:35):
But as you guys go into the weekends and you're
living on the edge, I hope you always remember too.
Speaker 2 (46:41):
Casual Fie
Host
Kelly Henderson
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