October 24, 2025 • 36 mins
Chip opens up about turning 50 — what it’s bringing up, what he’s ready to let go of, and how self-love looks different in every season. Kelly and Chip get real about aging, acceptance, and growth... with plenty of laughter (and a few karaoke confessions) from his birthday trip to Key West.
Watch us on YouTube! (By clicking this)
Email us: theedge@velvetsedge.com
TikTok: @velvetsedge
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @VelvetsEdgePodcast
HOSTS:
Kelly Henderson // @velvetsedge // velvetsedge.com
Chip Dorsch // @chipdorsch
Follow Velvet's Edge on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/velvetsedge/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Well, hello, Hello, are you ready for this today?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
We told you guys a couple of weeks ago we
were going to Key West to celebrate Chip's fiftieth birthday.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Yeah, I'm still not quite there.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Yet, but I was going to say the actual birthday
is not till November twelfth, right, correct, Yes, So we
were a little ahead of time, and we're a little
ahead of time on this topic as well. But Wednesday's
guest was John Slavitt, who it was actually a replay
of something a conversation I had had last year that
I just loved. I really think it's important to hear
men's perspective of aging and mid life and life after divorce,
(00:53):
because often on this podcast, obviously I'm talking to women,
and I'm coming from a female perspective, so it's interesting
to me to hear the male perspective. And he gave
that he was a very successful guy, had a great
marriage or had a marriage storybook kind of looking life,
fairy tale life, and then it all fell apart, so
he had kids, the marriage fell apart, and then he
(01:15):
was talking started a whole network about starting over at
fifty and just like what that looks like? And it
made me think about you and some of the things
that you have brought up in relation to turning fifty.
And I will say this is the most maybe is
the word hesitant or back and forth kind of wavering
(01:37):
that I've seen you do about a birthday in an
age Like I've never seen you struggle with it at all,
And I think this one seems to be hitting you
a little differently.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
I mean, it's well, it's funny because I feel like
I've never really worried about the number, because I feel,
you know, I've always felt like super youthful and like
having my finger on the pulse. But I mean, and
I guess my frame of reference generally is music. You know,
It's like the most central thing in my life. And
(02:06):
you know, as I'm inching towards fifty, it's like I
am really starting like it's not even the number that's scary.
It's like I'm starting to feel old in ways that
I never really thought I would, not even physically, it's
more like emotionally and the like, you know, I look
at the charts and I'm like, who are all these
(02:27):
people like? And I feel like I'm paying attention, you know,
I'm just like I'm just like old. Even before we
were started recording you when I were talking about some
of your new clients or your newer clients, and you know,
it's like I just don't have my finger on the
pulse like I used to, and that is a bit
of a bummer, but it's also something that like there's
(02:47):
a bit of relief in it too, like I don't
need to, you know, like it's like I have the
stories I have. I mean, look, I'm nowhere near it.
Like this sounds like I'm dying, but you know, I've
like great memories and stories and stuff that like it's
it's I'm actually okay with like sort of turning the
corner a little bit and like taking my foot off
(03:09):
the gas and not not feeling like I have to
keep up Like that is truly a young person's game.
And look, I still like I'm going to be active
and like do things, but I also don't feel like
I need to be the first one, you know, to
know about everything you know, because they're I mean, the
truth is is, I think as you get older, you
(03:31):
realize like that time is precious and all of those things,
and it's like I don't I really only want to
spend my time on the things that I really really like.
And I mean that might be something like a new
music discovery, but I don't have to. I don't feel
like I have to sift through all the bullshit to
find the things that I like. I feel like now
I'm at an age where the things that I like
(03:52):
will find me eventually, or maybe they won't and I'll
just never know about them. But I don't feel like
I have to like be a active in the search.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
I always think it's so funny when you say you
don't have to be as active as anything, though, because
even when you made your word no k n O
W versus no, like saying no, I did not witness
you saying no.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Oh my god. I was literally thinking about that this morning. Well, yes, okay,
yesterday I woke up.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
That was your word this year, right.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
That was this year's oopsy oopsy. I guess that's gonna
have to carry over to fifty. I woke up yesterday morning,
like before my alarm and literally had one of those
what day is a moments, you know, like when you
wake up and I guess I'd gotten a decent night
of sleep because it was like I was in such
like a trance, okay, and I had no idea what
(04:45):
day of the week it was. I was like, is
it the week? Is it the weekend? And then I
realized it was Wednesday, which is I mean, I guess
not the word. It could have been Monday, right, So
it was the downhill slide. But in that moment, I
was like, I had to start. It is almost November
and I haven't really said out all a lot this year.
I'm like this this month, I'm traveling every weekend. It's
(05:08):
crazy to me.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
So you've got two months of no left of five.
You may just need to carry this one over.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
I know. I think I'm gonna have to carry it
over because I have to travel and I know some
travel I have to do in November for some friend's
birthday also turning fifty. So I have not done a
very good job. But I do feel like the k
n ow part I have been, you know, trying to
like learn more about myself and what it is that
(05:36):
I want to do. And maybe that is just sort
of the reflective side of turning fifty, like thinking about
some of those things, and I feel like, you know,
I've learned a lot about how strong I can be,
and I've had you know, I've tested myself in ways
this year that I haven't in the past, and I'm
still here, you know, I'm still here.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
I always think about aging in relation to kind of
like we have these expectations when we're kids of what
it's going to feel like to turn a certain age, right, Like,
I will never forget when my parents turned forty, and
I remember thinking, like, whoof old?
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Everything was black? At my mom's forty dad over the hill.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
I remember my dad getting upset because his sister had
done a bunch of stuff like that, like kind of
the over the hill jokes, and I think he wasn't
prepared for that and didn't want it to be doomsday either,
and so he was like what. But I remember thinking, yeah,
like forty, man, you are like on death's doors what
it felt like as a kid. Then you get to
forty and you're like, I don't have anything figured out.
(06:39):
It's not at all what I thought it would be.
So I wonder, is that something that you're feeling right now?
Do you feel like the decades are kind of the
markers of that more where we start doing the comparison
to what we thought it would be versus what it
really is, and what are the things coming up for
you with that?
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Well, I mean, you know, obviously fifty is probably a
pretty good benchmark for like you're in the latter half
of your life. You know, very few people live to
be over one hundred. So I'm incredibly aware of that.
You know, I'm a really lucky person. Like I had
a dream and I achieved it, and I'm still somewhat
living in that dream. So in terms of like career building,
(07:18):
I don't feel behind. Look, would I like to have
more money in the bank, Yes, Would I like to
have achieved some greater things in my career? Yes? So
I think that there are still like real goals that
I can set for myself and work towards. But if
it all came crashing down tomorrow and I couldn't work anymore,
would I be happy with what I've done? Absolutely? But
(07:40):
I do. I think That's one of the things is
like when you hit this age, it's asking yourself, like, well,
who am I now? Like what do I still have
time to do? What are the things that like I
don't want to regret? You know, Like time truly is
our most precious resource, and it may she realize those things.
(08:01):
Like I'm still very lucky to have my parents alive.
They're both in their eighties, and I mean it's crazy
to think that, Like, you know, I feel so much
closer in age to them now than I have ever felt,
and we've always been the same exact amount of time,
but like I know them from fifty to eighty. I
know all the life that they've lived for those thirty years.
(08:23):
And although it seems like eighties around the corner for
me at this point, like I know that there's still
a lot of time and if I can like try
to be better about respecting my body and sleeping better
and doing all the things, like, I can have that longevity.
And I do think like I'm really fortunate. You know,
what I do is exhausting, and I travel a lot,
(08:44):
and I give up a lot of my personal life,
but I also feel like that is keeping me like
younger and vibrant, more vibrant, So I think that is
a bonus to the exhaustion. It's not like I'm just
like traveling around, like you know, reading lawyer docs and
fighting in court and doing stuff that's a lot more
stressful or like giving surgery to people, you know, like
(09:07):
that's really.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Really saving lives.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Yeah, I think the main thing now is like really
trying to figure out, like what do I want the
rest of my life to look like? Like, you know,
when you're turning forty, that just is like that's more
of like a joke. You're right, Like I didn't know
what I was doing. I like felt like I was
on a path, but I wasn't certain and it was
(09:30):
right around So I moved to Nashville ten years ago
this month, So I was in a season of major change.
The main reason I wanted to move to Nashville, outside
of like loving the city and having friends here, was
I knew I needed to start really thinking about my future.
I wanted to own something, and I couldn't do that
in Los Angeles. I knew I would probably, without like
(09:52):
a huge stroke of luck, would always be renting in
Los Angeles, probably never own anything. So moving to Nashville
gave me the opportunit to like buy something and sort
of invest in myself for the first time financially in
that way. So, you know, ten years ago it was
like this huge season of change where now I feel like,
you know, I've been in this house for ten years.
(10:12):
It's got a lot of equity in it, and like,
I set myself up for my future in a way,
just you know, with a piece of property. And so
I'm like resting on a little bit of relief. So
now it's more like who am I moving forward? And
what do I still want to achieve? And what are
those things that I want to check off my list?
Which is scary and exciting because I can obviously only
(10:35):
fit so much in and the next however many years
I'm going to live.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
And lord knows, you'll try to fit it all in.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
And you know there's there. It's like I've lived my
life coming up with lots of like great ideas, and
one of my regrets in life is like sometimes I'll
have a great idea for ten twenty years and never
do a single thing about it. And like now it's
the time for me to like look at those ideas
and be like, Okay, which of these are actually realistic
that I would want to like try and make a reality?
(11:04):
Exciting to me?
Speaker 1 (11:05):
That is exciting. Do you feel like there's any aspects
of your personality or lifestyle or job anything that you
feel like Okay, you know what, I'm fifty now, this
is a part that I want to leave behind. I've
(11:26):
done that, been there, like it's time to move forward.
Or even just like ways that you went about doing things,
like are you kind of over some of your own patterns?
Is that hitting me?
Speaker 2 (11:39):
I'm still like a chronic procrastinator, and that is one
of the things, Like the more that I learn about it.
It's funny because I get served ads on Instagram about
procrastination and it's not there's roots to why people share
to procrastinate that I probably really need to address. But
the more that I just sort of like learn about
the procrastination that I've literally done my whole life and
(12:02):
the weight that it adds to just your being, that
is something that I really want to work on. Like
when I work with friends or see friends who are
incredibly decisive and just like yes no, move on, yes no,
get it done, move on, where I like labor over
decisions and try to look at everything from a million sides,
(12:25):
and I know that they're doing that their process. This
is just more rapid because I don't think that my
friends that are doing that are just like yes no,
like just like making decisions. I don't want it to
sound like that, but I like labor over it. It's
I'm going to give a great example, like and this
has really nothing to do with work, because it could.
I mean, I guess it does. But our friend Tyler
(12:45):
is a travel agent, and when we were in Key West,
he helped sort of arrange everything. And when we were
in Key West, one of the rooms that i'd booked
i'd booked through the block that he'd set up, and
another one I'd booked through a third party because I
want to points. And he was like he looked at me,
and he was there when I was checking in, and
I was like, worried that any sort of upgrade that
(13:07):
had been asked for on behalf of the birthday boy
was going to go to the room that I'd given
to my sister because that was the one that I
booked through the block. And then suddenly was like, oh
my god, what if she gets the upgrade? And he
looked at me and he was like, you were so
anti travel agent. I was like, no, I'm not, and
he was like, yes you are. And I was like, look,
I just like my points. You know, I got to
(13:27):
get my companion passed and he was like, ugh, you're
so pedestrian, and I was like, no, I'm not. I
was like, plus, I don't want to like have to
call you at twelve thirty at night if there's something wrong.
And he's like, that's what I'm here for. And I
you know, I just like the control of like being
able to make the changes and know all the things.
But I also know that if I called Tyler to
(13:48):
be like, hey, i'm doing I'm going here, I need
you to help me, he would send me options, and
you know what I would do. I would go to Kayak.
I would search options myself. So I would just like
waste time because it's not as necessarily a procrastination thing.
It's more of like a control. I need to know
every single option before I make a decision, versus just
being like that flight looks good, move on and oh okay,
(14:11):
And so I think I need to I think it
is about like it's not just stop procrastinating. I still
need to figure out how to work smarter, not harder,
so that I can also like have more free time.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
So I start some of those what if ideas, Right,
there's no way that you'll be able to expand business
wise or into any of those ideas unless you allow
help to come in. And yes, we physically can't. Like
I'm in the same stage right now, just it's gotten
busier than it has been. I need to get some help,
but I've got to get through a couple of things
(14:45):
be where I can sit down and do. But I
know from past experience that if I don't ask for help,
I'm just going to keep drowning. But it's not going
to help me grow. It doesn't give you the space
to grow. You just stay at the level you are
because one person can only do so much.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
There's only so much bandwidth. Yeah, yeah, so yeah, I
think to answer the question, it would be to really
start to figure out how to let go of the
little things that caused me to procrastinate or not be
able to make a decision.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
So when you're turning fifty, you've kind of touched on
this a little bit. But I think that with your job,
you said, I have lived my dream, but of course
I would like a little more money, a little more whatever,
you know, all the stuff that we all want. Is
there some sort of definition of success that has changed
or evolved for you since your thirties and forties at
(15:35):
fifty or is it around the same goal wise, because
you've always just kind of known you wanted to be
a part of this music industry.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
I mean, I don't know that there's any particular like benchmarks.
Look the fact that I have sustained in this business
for I mean, it's literally I've only ever worked in music,
and I know so many people who were, you know,
equal further along in their career than me when I
was younger. But the industry has like shifted and laid
(16:03):
off so many people, and jobs of like complete jobs
have gone away that didn't like that existed when I
when I was younger, and like technology has replaced a
lot of people. So the fact that I'm even still
in it is success to me. I still get to
wake up and do what I love every day. And
having shifted from like working in the more like I
(16:24):
was at record labels, and then I was in a
marketing team and so I was more service oriented, and
now being on the management side, it's like I have
a really clear affinity for like working with the artists
that I want to work with. So that feels like
a step, you know, like in the right direction. Because
it is in some ways building your own business. I mean,
(16:44):
I still work on teams that like, I'm not the manager,
I'm working under a manager, so there's that too, But
I do have my own clients, which is that is
me sort of you know, in a way. Investing in myself,
taking a chance on myself and having that confidence is
truly like the biggest stage of success for me, because
I was always scared that I could not be a
(17:06):
manager because there was so much that I didn't know.
And now I learned that, like most managers, there's so
much shit that they don't know, you know, because you
just don't know what's yeah, yeah, right, yeah, there's so
much personality that's involved, and I mean, shit, you just
don't know what's going to get thrown at you any day,
(17:27):
Like you're you're you could have a client that gets
a movie offer out of nowhere, and if you've never
worked in the movie business, suddenly you have to figure
out how to navigate that. And quite honestly, that's fun.
That's the fun part is that it changes every day.
So but yeah, I mean, look, would money be a
great marker of success, Absolutely, I think it is in
(17:48):
any business, But I also think the fact that I'm
still happy doing what I do is the greatest mark
of success.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Well, you can't take it with you, so you really
can't enjoy what it is you do have.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
While you're here. And I've never beginn it holding on
to it, so it's like I might as well.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Yeah, well, you you mentioned investing in yourself or taking
a chance on yourself with moving into management and things
like that, what do you feel as far as you
know self love? That's like I always hear women who
turn fifty. Let me say it this way, when I
turned forty, I felt like, you know, what the fucks
that the amount of fucks that I give is dropping
(18:28):
by the day. Like it's just like you kind of
get to this place where you're like, I have to
just start accepting myself as I am because this is
all I've got. Like wherever I go, I am here,
you know, like I'm with me, so I might as
well figure out a way to embrace myself and love myself.
But then I always hear women say when they turn fifty,
it's even more than that, like you're just like in
(18:50):
this full blown place of here I am world, take
it or leave it, Like this is what it is.
Do you feel that as Is it the same for
men or as.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
I think so? I mean, look, there are instances where
you like, and I'll end up in a room where
I'm like the oldest feel like the oldest person there,
and that's that's a little weird because I still am
like going out and trying to be somewhat youthful. But
I joke about it, like it doesn't make me feel bad,
but I'll just be like, well, I'm gonna leave early
because I'm definitely the oldest person here. But I can
(19:22):
have a sense of humor about it. But I do
feel like life is so much less performative now, Like
I know who I am, I have an amazing network
of family and friends that love me and which was
proven time and time again last weekend. Yeah, and it's
also too like I think back to some of my
(19:42):
other birthday parties that had hundreds of I mean, it
wasn't like destination stuff like this was more like a
wedding in the way that it was set up. But
it's like I used to have to have. And you're
probably gonna laugh at this because you still probably felt
like there were ancillary people there but I used to
like literally everyone I worked with was there, Like I
would have two three hundred people at my birthday party,
(20:02):
and like now it's like even it feels like this
one was narrowed down.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Either that was dialed back for you, that.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Was dialed back. But like you know, as people from
my childhood to people in New York and college and
Los Angeles and New York and sorry I said New
York and Nashville, it was like the most important people
from like lots of walks of my life. And it's
really awesome to like look back and see the relationships
(20:31):
that have really sustained and mattered. And some of those
people like I'll speak to a couple times a year,
so to get to see them and know that, like
I hold a place in their heart that they would
spend that money and get on a plane and come
spend that time in Key West, you know, it just
made me feel really special. But you know, to answer
to get back into your question, you know, I know
(20:52):
what is important to me. Now, I know what my
values are. I feel like I can stand behind them
without like feeling worried about fitting in. You know, I
also feel like my value system is so clear to
me that I can have conversations about it without feeling preachy, yeah,
if I need to, or feeling like I'm wrong. You know,
(21:16):
like I feel so good about like where I stand
on things that even if I don't agree with someone,
I don't walk away from those conversations feeling like I'm wrong.
Are there things that I can learn? Of course, but
I like in my core. I believe that my value
system like lays in the right place. And that's a
nice refreshing way to feel, because it's when you're questioning
(21:37):
your values because you don't feel like you fit in somewhere,
it's a really slippery slope and you're not living authentically.
And to recognize that, like I am resolute in my
values means that I'm living pretty authentically.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
So I was gonna touch a little bit on Key
West because it was such a fun experience. That was
gonna touch a little bit on Key West because it
was such a fun experience. I did not know what
(22:14):
to think going into it. As you mentioned, there was
a lot of people going. It felt a little more
like for the listeners, it felt a little more like
a wedding situation in that we were all going to
this one destination. There was a hotel block, like all
the things that a destination wedding would involve. There was
an itinerary, you know, things like that. But I'd sid
(22:34):
say to someone when reflecting back on it, I don't
know another human in my life that could bring so
many people from different stages of life and us all
kind of mesh and get along, and the common denominator
is just how much we love you.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Right.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
That was like such a cool experience because I truly
felt like even people from your childhood maybe that you
haven't seen as often, like you were saying, and then
you're La frindjern O friends, we all like had this
common bond of like, well we just love chips. So
here we are. We're ready to go, you know, and
like and then.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
We also have fun.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Yeah. I don't know another person either who could manage
that many different groups and walks of life and no
one feel neglected. Like thought, I felt like I saw
you a ton, but I know everyone else did too,
you know, So I don't know, it.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Was just a That's why I'm still tired a weekend.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
It's probably all the same. I do have to tell
the listeners I've mentioned before how Chip loves karaoke. What
I didn't know about you is that the people from
other walks of life of yours also love karaokes equally
as much and are as good at it. Like I
have never been with so many professional karaoke people in
(23:51):
my life.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Oh my god, somebody Spanish?
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Yes the CARDI b I like it? Like that? I
like that and did the Spanish parts too. I was like,
who are you? Everyone got up. But the thing I
learned about y'all, and what I learned about karaoke from y'all,
is if you get up on a karaoke stage, you
better fucking own it, Like you just gotta go. You
can't half ass it. You can't be awkward and shy.
(24:19):
You gotta lean all the way in, even if you
don't know all the lyrics, and just go, just go.
And when I say lean all the way in, let
me give you guys a visual. I thought the night
was winding down, but I guess this was maybe like
the encore, the finale performance, and I see a chair
get brought up to stay there?
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Do you think Britney spears up?
Speaker 1 (24:43):
I didn't know what you were. I thought you were
maybe gonna do what's the one where they.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Pull the water flash dance?
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Yeah, the flash dance dance. Whatever that song is. Yeah,
what a feeling. That's it. That's it. But it wasn't.
So Chip takes the chair, turns it backwards like he's
a c slater, and sits in it stoically starts into
father Figure.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
I was really worried when I did it, too, because
I feel like it came after some really big hype song.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
It's probably Bell Yes, and he gets up there and
does the ballot. He stayed in the chair for half
the song, and he gets up and obviously works the
stage and gives the people what they want. I mean,
that wasn't the only time he was on stage, don't
you guys worry. It was multiple times.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
There were many times.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
I've just never seen so many stellar karaoke performances. I
even felt like that bachelor party that came into the
room with us, they were leaning into it.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
The energy around karaoke was like, get up and own it.
I did not. I couldn't even get up there because
I was so intimidated by all y'all.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Well, what was funny was so my friend Lauren was
in town and she loves karaoke, and she had prepared
gnarly by Kat's Eye and like learned the dance everything. Well,
she fainted at dinner before karaoke and didn't get to
come to the karaoke. Okay, yeah, you're like, I don't
remember that. But the next night, after dinner, a bunch
(26:13):
of us went to the karaoke place so that she
could do it, and the vibe was very different, like
the night of my birthday party. Like if you had
randomly walked into this karaoke place, you would have thought
a real concert was happening, because the whole audience was
like in it, screaming. It was crazy. And we walk
in the next night and it's like there's like twelve
(26:36):
people in the bar, and the people that are singing
are all doing like show tunes, and so it was
like this like and there's like no energy coming at
the stage, and in walks Lauren Waterman and gets up
there and does her dance and like kind of brought
the place down because those of us who were with
her had that same sort of energy. But it was like,
I bring it up because I noticed, like just how
(27:00):
the two nights were and like, I mean we so
she mentioned a bachelor There was a bachelor party that
basically we took up two thirds of the whole bar,
and then this bachelor party came and filled up the
other third, and so it was like them and us
going they were great, and they were great too, but
we invited them on our boat the next day they
ended up. Yeah, we invited all of them, but they
(27:23):
couldn't come.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
I didn't even know that part.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Yeah, I was texting with a dude named Brian.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
Oh my god, I love that you even exchanged numbers.
The thing is, you were not acting fifty that week
this weekend, because like I would be asleep by like
ten every night, I.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Would be up till four am.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
I don't know how you did it. And that one
day you did lose your voice. It was the night
after karaoke. Yeah, I've never heard Chip have such a
low voice. It was like I can't.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
And I was trying so hard to speak, and it
was just making it worse and worse.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
All that singing Father figure really just scream. I think
your body is probably like, why are we up at
four am? You're a percent chicken. I just still can't
believe that you went with it all in all, though,
I mean, I'll love never laughed that hard. At karaoke
was another thing. But our friend Reagan was up on
the speakers dancing like I don't know who we thought we.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Were we I mean we went in there and owned
that bar. That is for sure. If anyone is going
to Key West, you got to go see our boy
Rico at Duval Stars karaoke.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
That is that the one you talk about. It used
to be a strip club.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Wow, what a vibe. Okay, it's a vibe. Yeah, I
was really really into it. Your friend Willa got a
chip is friends with Willa Ford. If you guys remember
I want to be bad back in.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
The day, back in the day, she's.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Making a comeback. So the fact that she got up
and did I wanted to be bad for you. I
was dying.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
She's never done karaoke before in her life, and she
certainly was like, this is the only time I'm ever
going to do this song.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
It has to be because you're turning fifty.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Yeah, we got to get that up on the interneweb
so people can see it.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
I was going to ask you, And this feels kind
of like a good transition. Do you feel like there's
anything people get wrong about aging? And I think this
is an interesting transition because obviously in that those experiences
we were acting like twenty somethings.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Oh yeah, it was like the twenty first birthday.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Do you feel like there's an overall misconception or did
you have another understanding of aging and now you're here
and you're like, well, I.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
Mean, I think, you know, being I'm single and don't
have kids, so my experience is different than a lot
of probably most people's. I've always thought that age is
a number and you have to like really like lean
into that. Like there are certain things scientifically that I
cannot stop from happening. My my joints are going to ache,
my muscles are going to get weaker as I get older,
(29:49):
things like that. But I don't think that like we
all have to stop having fun, you know, Like I
look at my parents in their retirement, like they still
want to have fun. And I don't think that growing
up or maturing means don't have fun. And I think that,
you know, there is particularly in America, in our puritanical society,
(30:13):
there is some sort of a stigma to like you
act your age, you know, like people are expected to
just act like kids. I'm not act like kids as
they grow up. But I'm just like, wouldn't wor'll be
a better place if we all just sort of held
on to that, Like the are youthful qualities, the one
you know, seeing the world with wonder instead of disdain
(30:35):
or jealousy or the things that like creep into our lives.
I mean, that was one of the things that like,
I was doing a little reading before we did this,
and I was like, just do research about like the
good things and the bad things of about turning fifty.
And one of the things that I read was like,
and when it comes to relationships, which I've talked about
a little bit before, like the ones that are really
(30:56):
locked in are so much more clear now and like
you know who your core is, but also your relationship
to yourself gets to change as you are dropping the
things that don't matter. And that really struck me because
I'm like, I want to continue to focus on the
kid in me, and like the kid that just saw wonder,
(31:17):
like that believed he could do anything. That I mean,
it's like the where the what if guy came from?
I think, you know, and so I think that's the
one thing that I'm just going to remind myself as
I continue to age and I, you know, do finally
turn the corner to fifty, that you know, don't lose
the kid.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
Yeah. I love that, and I really like tying it
back into Wednesday's podcast of him starting over at fifty
is essentially what it was. I think we do map
it out when we're younger, and we're kind of like, Okay,
by this age, I'm gonna do this and by this
and that, and then life happens and it never looks
like what we think it will probably now, or if
you get all the things you thought you wanted and
(31:57):
then you are done getting them, you're like, wait, is
this it?
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (32:01):
And I do think as you age you almost can
embrace the child like wonder like you're talking about, even
more than maybe we could in our thirties and even
your forties a little bit. It's like getting back to
the root of why you wanted to do all the
things you wanted to do when you first started in
this business or when you first moved to Nashville, Like
letting yourself get lit up again instead of just being
(32:24):
so focused on the grind. I think that's a beautiful
lesson to take from getting older.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Yeah. Well and even too. It's like while we were
in QS, I could see myself there as a retired
like as a retired person.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Oh, I could totally see you working.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
At a bar, like working on a boat, or like
still working, like because I still I think I'll always
want to have that sort of you know, do I
want to have to have a job, No fucking way,
But like do I want to sit in my house
and watch prices right every day? No?
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Yeah, you want to know, I want to do that on.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
The days that I want to. But I could also
see myself we did. There was on the second day
or on Saturday, we did there was a rental boat
and I had like these It was a female captain
who was a badass and had these beautiful women that
were like serving us. But I'm like, I could capture
one of these boats. I could do this take people
out to party every day. Like, oh my god, that
would be a dream come true. I should. I'd live
(33:20):
on that boat if I could.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Yeah, I can see you doing it.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Yeah yeah. So it was like being able to see
myself still having fun when like the music business is
behind me. It was. It was very clear to me then.
So it's like I don't feel like I have anything
to fear right now.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
Yeah, just stuff to look forward to. Yeah, well, thanks
for sharing your experience with that. I love getting wisdom
from the elderly.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
You better respect your elders.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
I just had to get one in there. If you
guys haven't listened to my podcast with John, go check
it out. If you're going through something later in life
and you feel like you're having a start over, it's
just not were starting over. It's just a new part
of the journey. And I think he really talks about
that a lot, and I think Chip's knowledge and wisdom
today that is also saying the same thing. Just go
(34:09):
out and live life and start over. Do follow your
inner child's journey though too, it's like what did you
what lit you up when you were younger? Like are
you living that out? I think those are really good,
like reflective questions for later stages.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
I also think too, if you can get ahead of
it so that like it's not reactionary. Like obviously john
story is different than mine because he went through a divorce,
he got laid off. There were like things that were
out of his control that happened that he had to
react to. So you know, do as much as you
can to try and stay in control of the things
(34:43):
so that like it's not reactionary.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
I mean, yeah, like you don't want to be looking back.
I just had this conversation with my boyfriend. His dad
is having some health issues, and he was talking just
about how like his dad's at the phase of life
where he's looking back with regret on certain things, and
it's really made my boyfriend and think to himself, I
don't want to get to that place in my life
where I feel that way. I want to do the
things I want to do now, or the things that
(35:08):
light me up, or the things that I'm passionate about,
so that when I'm looking back on my life, I
can feel like, Okay, well I did it, you know,
like I lived in a true way for me, which
I think is sometimes easier said than done because we
all get kind of stuck in the rat race a
little bit. But I do think these kind of conversations
are really good to reflect on and just you know,
make sure you are living in alignment. Like you said,
(35:30):
you feel like your most authentic self right now, and
I think that's beautiful. That's a great reflection to have
on your fiftieth birthday, is that you're really embracing who
you really are. So anyway, if you guys have any
thoughts on this or you're going through a similar experience
and you want to share it with us, you can
always email us at the Edge at velvetsedge dot com
or you can hit me up on Instagram. I'm at Velvet's.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Edge, Chip, I'm at Chip doorsh It's Chip dr scch.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
And don't forget to wish Chip a happy birthday on
November twelfth, you guys sliding to those d M And
as you guys go into the weekend and you're living
on the edge, I hope you always remember to act Catsule.
Bye bye
Well, hello, Hello, are you ready for this today?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
We told you guys a couple of weeks ago we
were going to Key West to celebrate Chip's fiftieth birthday.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Yeah, I'm still not quite there.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Yet, but I was going to say the actual birthday
is not till November twelfth, right, correct, Yes, So we
were a little ahead of time, and we're a little
ahead of time on this topic as well. But Wednesday's
guest was John Slavitt, who it was actually a replay
of something a conversation I had had last year that
I just loved. I really think it's important to hear
men's perspective of aging and mid life and life after divorce,
(00:53):
because often on this podcast, obviously I'm talking to women,
and I'm coming from a female perspective, so it's interesting
to me to hear the male perspective. And he gave
that he was a very successful guy, had a great
marriage or had a marriage storybook kind of looking life,
fairy tale life, and then it all fell apart, so
he had kids, the marriage fell apart, and then he
(01:15):
was talking started a whole network about starting over at
fifty and just like what that looks like? And it
made me think about you and some of the things
that you have brought up in relation to turning fifty.
And I will say this is the most maybe is
the word hesitant or back and forth kind of wavering
(01:37):
that I've seen you do about a birthday in an
age Like I've never seen you struggle with it at all,
And I think this one seems to be hitting you
a little differently.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
I mean, it's well, it's funny because I feel like
I've never really worried about the number, because I feel,
you know, I've always felt like super youthful and like
having my finger on the pulse. But I mean, and
I guess my frame of reference generally is music. You know,
It's like the most central thing in my life. And
(02:06):
you know, as I'm inching towards fifty, it's like I
am really starting like it's not even the number that's scary.
It's like I'm starting to feel old in ways that
I never really thought I would, not even physically, it's
more like emotionally and the like, you know, I look
at the charts and I'm like, who are all these
(02:27):
people like? And I feel like I'm paying attention, you know,
I'm just like I'm just like old. Even before we
were started recording you when I were talking about some
of your new clients or your newer clients, and you know,
it's like I just don't have my finger on the
pulse like I used to, and that is a bit
of a bummer, but it's also something that like there's
(02:47):
a bit of relief in it too, like I don't
need to, you know, like it's like I have the
stories I have. I mean, look, I'm nowhere near it.
Like this sounds like I'm dying, but you know, I've
like great memories and stories and stuff that like it's
it's I'm actually okay with like sort of turning the
corner a little bit and like taking my foot off
(03:09):
the gas and not not feeling like I have to
keep up Like that is truly a young person's game.
And look, I still like I'm going to be active
and like do things, but I also don't feel like
I need to be the first one, you know, to
know about everything you know, because they're I mean, the
truth is is, I think as you get older, you
(03:31):
realize like that time is precious and all of those things,
and it's like I don't I really only want to
spend my time on the things that I really really like.
And I mean that might be something like a new
music discovery, but I don't have to. I don't feel
like I have to sift through all the bullshit to
find the things that I like. I feel like now
I'm at an age where the things that I like
(03:52):
will find me eventually, or maybe they won't and I'll
just never know about them. But I don't feel like
I have to like be a active in the search.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
I always think it's so funny when you say you
don't have to be as active as anything, though, because
even when you made your word no k n O
W versus no, like saying no, I did not witness
you saying no.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Oh my god. I was literally thinking about that this morning. Well, yes, okay,
yesterday I woke up.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
That was your word this year, right.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
That was this year's oopsy oopsy. I guess that's gonna
have to carry over to fifty. I woke up yesterday morning,
like before my alarm and literally had one of those
what day is a moments, you know, like when you
wake up and I guess I'd gotten a decent night
of sleep because it was like I was in such
like a trance, okay, and I had no idea what
(04:45):
day of the week it was. I was like, is
it the week? Is it the weekend? And then I
realized it was Wednesday, which is I mean, I guess
not the word. It could have been Monday, right, So
it was the downhill slide. But in that moment, I
was like, I had to start. It is almost November
and I haven't really said out all a lot this year.
I'm like this this month, I'm traveling every weekend. It's
(05:08):
crazy to me.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
So you've got two months of no left of five.
You may just need to carry this one over.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
I know. I think I'm gonna have to carry it
over because I have to travel and I know some
travel I have to do in November for some friend's
birthday also turning fifty. So I have not done a
very good job. But I do feel like the k
n ow part I have been, you know, trying to
like learn more about myself and what it is that
(05:36):
I want to do. And maybe that is just sort
of the reflective side of turning fifty, like thinking about
some of those things, and I feel like, you know,
I've learned a lot about how strong I can be,
and I've had you know, I've tested myself in ways
this year that I haven't in the past, and I'm
still here, you know, I'm still here.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
I always think about aging in relation to kind of
like we have these expectations when we're kids of what
it's going to feel like to turn a certain age, right, Like,
I will never forget when my parents turned forty, and
I remember thinking, like, whoof old?
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Everything was black? At my mom's forty dad over the hill.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
I remember my dad getting upset because his sister had
done a bunch of stuff like that, like kind of
the over the hill jokes, and I think he wasn't
prepared for that and didn't want it to be doomsday either,
and so he was like what. But I remember thinking, yeah,
like forty, man, you are like on death's doors what
it felt like as a kid. Then you get to
forty and you're like, I don't have anything figured out.
(06:39):
It's not at all what I thought it would be.
So I wonder, is that something that you're feeling right now?
Do you feel like the decades are kind of the
markers of that more where we start doing the comparison
to what we thought it would be versus what it
really is, and what are the things coming up for
you with that?
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Well, I mean, you know, obviously fifty is probably a
pretty good benchmark for like you're in the latter half
of your life. You know, very few people live to
be over one hundred. So I'm incredibly aware of that.
You know, I'm a really lucky person. Like I had
a dream and I achieved it, and I'm still somewhat
living in that dream. So in terms of like career building,
(07:18):
I don't feel behind. Look, would I like to have
more money in the bank, Yes, Would I like to
have achieved some greater things in my career? Yes? So
I think that there are still like real goals that
I can set for myself and work towards. But if
it all came crashing down tomorrow and I couldn't work anymore,
would I be happy with what I've done? Absolutely? But
(07:40):
I do. I think That's one of the things is
like when you hit this age, it's asking yourself, like, well,
who am I now? Like what do I still have
time to do? What are the things that like I
don't want to regret? You know, Like time truly is
our most precious resource, and it may she realize those things.
(08:01):
Like I'm still very lucky to have my parents alive.
They're both in their eighties, and I mean it's crazy
to think that, Like, you know, I feel so much
closer in age to them now than I have ever felt,
and we've always been the same exact amount of time,
but like I know them from fifty to eighty. I
know all the life that they've lived for those thirty years.
(08:23):
And although it seems like eighties around the corner for
me at this point, like I know that there's still
a lot of time and if I can like try
to be better about respecting my body and sleeping better
and doing all the things, like, I can have that longevity.
And I do think like I'm really fortunate. You know,
what I do is exhausting, and I travel a lot,
(08:44):
and I give up a lot of my personal life,
but I also feel like that is keeping me like
younger and vibrant, more vibrant, So I think that is
a bonus to the exhaustion. It's not like I'm just
like traveling around, like you know, reading lawyer docs and
fighting in court and doing stuff that's a lot more
stressful or like giving surgery to people, you know, like
(09:07):
that's really.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Really saving lives.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Yeah, I think the main thing now is like really
trying to figure out, like what do I want the
rest of my life to look like? Like, you know,
when you're turning forty, that just is like that's more
of like a joke. You're right, Like I didn't know
what I was doing. I like felt like I was
on a path, but I wasn't certain and it was
(09:30):
right around So I moved to Nashville ten years ago
this month, So I was in a season of major change.
The main reason I wanted to move to Nashville, outside
of like loving the city and having friends here, was
I knew I needed to start really thinking about my future.
I wanted to own something, and I couldn't do that
in Los Angeles. I knew I would probably, without like
(09:52):
a huge stroke of luck, would always be renting in
Los Angeles, probably never own anything. So moving to Nashville
gave me the opportunit to like buy something and sort
of invest in myself for the first time financially in
that way. So, you know, ten years ago it was
like this huge season of change where now I feel like,
you know, I've been in this house for ten years.
(10:12):
It's got a lot of equity in it, and like,
I set myself up for my future in a way,
just you know, with a piece of property. And so
I'm like resting on a little bit of relief. So
now it's more like who am I moving forward? And
what do I still want to achieve? And what are
those things that I want to check off my list?
Which is scary and exciting because I can obviously only
(10:35):
fit so much in and the next however many years
I'm going to live.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
And lord knows, you'll try to fit it all in.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
And you know there's there. It's like I've lived my
life coming up with lots of like great ideas, and
one of my regrets in life is like sometimes I'll
have a great idea for ten twenty years and never
do a single thing about it. And like now it's
the time for me to like look at those ideas
and be like, Okay, which of these are actually realistic
that I would want to like try and make a reality?
(11:04):
Exciting to me?
Speaker 1 (11:05):
That is exciting. Do you feel like there's any aspects
of your personality or lifestyle or job anything that you
feel like Okay, you know what, I'm fifty now, this
is a part that I want to leave behind. I've
(11:26):
done that, been there, like it's time to move forward.
Or even just like ways that you went about doing things,
like are you kind of over some of your own patterns?
Is that hitting me?
Speaker 2 (11:39):
I'm still like a chronic procrastinator, and that is one
of the things, Like the more that I learn about it.
It's funny because I get served ads on Instagram about
procrastination and it's not there's roots to why people share
to procrastinate that I probably really need to address. But
the more that I just sort of like learn about
the procrastination that I've literally done my whole life and
(12:02):
the weight that it adds to just your being, that
is something that I really want to work on. Like
when I work with friends or see friends who are
incredibly decisive and just like yes no, move on, yes no,
get it done, move on, where I like labor over
decisions and try to look at everything from a million sides,
(12:25):
and I know that they're doing that their process. This
is just more rapid because I don't think that my
friends that are doing that are just like yes no,
like just like making decisions. I don't want it to
sound like that, but I like labor over it. It's
I'm going to give a great example, like and this
has really nothing to do with work, because it could.
I mean, I guess it does. But our friend Tyler
(12:45):
is a travel agent, and when we were in Key West,
he helped sort of arrange everything. And when we were
in Key West, one of the rooms that i'd booked
i'd booked through the block that he'd set up, and
another one I'd booked through a third party because I
want to points. And he was like he looked at me,
and he was there when I was checking in, and
I was like, worried that any sort of upgrade that
(13:07):
had been asked for on behalf of the birthday boy
was going to go to the room that I'd given
to my sister because that was the one that I
booked through the block. And then suddenly was like, oh
my god, what if she gets the upgrade? And he
looked at me and he was like, you were so
anti travel agent. I was like, no, I'm not, and
he was like, yes you are. And I was like, look,
I just like my points. You know, I got to
(13:27):
get my companion passed and he was like, ugh, you're
so pedestrian, and I was like, no, I'm not. I
was like, plus, I don't want to like have to
call you at twelve thirty at night if there's something wrong.
And he's like, that's what I'm here for. And I
you know, I just like the control of like being
able to make the changes and know all the things.
But I also know that if I called Tyler to
(13:48):
be like, hey, i'm doing I'm going here, I need
you to help me, he would send me options, and
you know what I would do. I would go to Kayak.
I would search options myself. So I would just like
waste time because it's not as necessarily a procrastination thing.
It's more of like a control. I need to know
every single option before I make a decision, versus just
being like that flight looks good, move on and oh okay,
(14:11):
And so I think I need to I think it
is about like it's not just stop procrastinating. I still
need to figure out how to work smarter, not harder,
so that I can also like have more free time.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
So I start some of those what if ideas, Right,
there's no way that you'll be able to expand business
wise or into any of those ideas unless you allow
help to come in. And yes, we physically can't. Like
I'm in the same stage right now, just it's gotten
busier than it has been. I need to get some help,
but I've got to get through a couple of things
(14:45):
be where I can sit down and do. But I
know from past experience that if I don't ask for help,
I'm just going to keep drowning. But it's not going
to help me grow. It doesn't give you the space
to grow. You just stay at the level you are
because one person can only do so much.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
There's only so much bandwidth. Yeah, yeah, so yeah, I
think to answer the question, it would be to really
start to figure out how to let go of the
little things that caused me to procrastinate or not be
able to make a decision.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
So when you're turning fifty, you've kind of touched on
this a little bit. But I think that with your job,
you said, I have lived my dream, but of course
I would like a little more money, a little more whatever,
you know, all the stuff that we all want. Is
there some sort of definition of success that has changed
or evolved for you since your thirties and forties at
(15:35):
fifty or is it around the same goal wise, because
you've always just kind of known you wanted to be
a part of this music industry.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
I mean, I don't know that there's any particular like benchmarks.
Look the fact that I have sustained in this business
for I mean, it's literally I've only ever worked in music,
and I know so many people who were, you know,
equal further along in their career than me when I
was younger. But the industry has like shifted and laid
(16:03):
off so many people, and jobs of like complete jobs
have gone away that didn't like that existed when I
when I was younger, and like technology has replaced a
lot of people. So the fact that I'm even still
in it is success to me. I still get to
wake up and do what I love every day. And
having shifted from like working in the more like I
(16:24):
was at record labels, and then I was in a
marketing team and so I was more service oriented, and
now being on the management side, it's like I have
a really clear affinity for like working with the artists
that I want to work with. So that feels like
a step, you know, like in the right direction. Because
it is in some ways building your own business. I mean,
(16:44):
I still work on teams that like, I'm not the manager,
I'm working under a manager, so there's that too, But
I do have my own clients, which is that is
me sort of you know, in a way. Investing in myself,
taking a chance on myself and having that confidence is
truly like the biggest stage of success for me, because
I was always scared that I could not be a
(17:06):
manager because there was so much that I didn't know.
And now I learned that, like most managers, there's so
much shit that they don't know, you know, because you
just don't know what's yeah, yeah, right, yeah, there's so
much personality that's involved, and I mean, shit, you just
don't know what's going to get thrown at you any day,
(17:27):
Like you're you're you could have a client that gets
a movie offer out of nowhere, and if you've never
worked in the movie business, suddenly you have to figure
out how to navigate that. And quite honestly, that's fun.
That's the fun part is that it changes every day.
So but yeah, I mean, look, would money be a
great marker of success, Absolutely, I think it is in
(17:48):
any business, But I also think the fact that I'm
still happy doing what I do is the greatest mark
of success.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Well, you can't take it with you, so you really
can't enjoy what it is you do have.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
While you're here. And I've never beginn it holding on
to it, so it's like I might as well.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Yeah, well, you you mentioned investing in yourself or taking
a chance on yourself with moving into management and things
like that, what do you feel as far as you
know self love? That's like I always hear women who
turn fifty. Let me say it this way, when I
turned forty, I felt like, you know, what the fucks
that the amount of fucks that I give is dropping
(18:28):
by the day. Like it's just like you kind of
get to this place where you're like, I have to
just start accepting myself as I am because this is
all I've got. Like wherever I go, I am here,
you know, like I'm with me, so I might as
well figure out a way to embrace myself and love myself.
But then I always hear women say when they turn fifty,
it's even more than that, like you're just like in
(18:50):
this full blown place of here I am world, take
it or leave it, Like this is what it is.
Do you feel that as Is it the same for
men or as.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
I think so? I mean, look, there are instances where
you like, and I'll end up in a room where
I'm like the oldest feel like the oldest person there,
and that's that's a little weird because I still am
like going out and trying to be somewhat youthful. But
I joke about it, like it doesn't make me feel bad,
but I'll just be like, well, I'm gonna leave early
because I'm definitely the oldest person here. But I can
(19:22):
have a sense of humor about it. But I do
feel like life is so much less performative now, Like
I know who I am, I have an amazing network
of family and friends that love me and which was
proven time and time again last weekend. Yeah, and it's
also too like I think back to some of my
(19:42):
other birthday parties that had hundreds of I mean, it
wasn't like destination stuff like this was more like a
wedding in the way that it was set up. But
it's like I used to have to have. And you're
probably gonna laugh at this because you still probably felt
like there were ancillary people there but I used to
like literally everyone I worked with was there, Like I
would have two three hundred people at my birthday party,
(20:02):
and like now it's like even it feels like this
one was narrowed down.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Either that was dialed back for you, that.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Was dialed back. But like you know, as people from
my childhood to people in New York and college and
Los Angeles and New York and sorry I said New
York and Nashville, it was like the most important people
from like lots of walks of my life. And it's
really awesome to like look back and see the relationships
(20:31):
that have really sustained and mattered. And some of those
people like I'll speak to a couple times a year,
so to get to see them and know that, like
I hold a place in their heart that they would
spend that money and get on a plane and come
spend that time in Key West, you know, it just
made me feel really special. But you know, to answer
to get back into your question, you know, I know
(20:52):
what is important to me. Now, I know what my
values are. I feel like I can stand behind them
without like feeling worried about fitting in. You know, I
also feel like my value system is so clear to
me that I can have conversations about it without feeling preachy, yeah,
if I need to, or feeling like I'm wrong. You know,
(21:16):
like I feel so good about like where I stand
on things that even if I don't agree with someone,
I don't walk away from those conversations feeling like I'm wrong.
Are there things that I can learn? Of course, but
I like in my core. I believe that my value
system like lays in the right place. And that's a
nice refreshing way to feel, because it's when you're questioning
(21:37):
your values because you don't feel like you fit in somewhere,
it's a really slippery slope and you're not living authentically.
And to recognize that, like I am resolute in my
values means that I'm living pretty authentically.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
So I was gonna touch a little bit on Key
West because it was such a fun experience. That was
gonna touch a little bit on Key West because it
was such a fun experience. I did not know what
(22:14):
to think going into it. As you mentioned, there was
a lot of people going. It felt a little more
like for the listeners, it felt a little more like
a wedding situation in that we were all going to
this one destination. There was a hotel block, like all
the things that a destination wedding would involve. There was
an itinerary, you know, things like that. But I'd sid
(22:34):
say to someone when reflecting back on it, I don't
know another human in my life that could bring so
many people from different stages of life and us all
kind of mesh and get along, and the common denominator
is just how much we love you.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Right.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
That was like such a cool experience because I truly
felt like even people from your childhood maybe that you
haven't seen as often, like you were saying, and then
you're La frindjern O friends, we all like had this
common bond of like, well we just love chips. So
here we are. We're ready to go, you know, and
like and then.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
We also have fun.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Yeah. I don't know another person either who could manage
that many different groups and walks of life and no
one feel neglected. Like thought, I felt like I saw
you a ton, but I know everyone else did too,
you know, So I don't know, it.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Was just a That's why I'm still tired a weekend.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
It's probably all the same. I do have to tell
the listeners I've mentioned before how Chip loves karaoke. What
I didn't know about you is that the people from
other walks of life of yours also love karaokes equally
as much and are as good at it. Like I
have never been with so many professional karaoke people in
(23:51):
my life.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Oh my god, somebody Spanish?
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Yes the CARDI b I like it? Like that? I
like that and did the Spanish parts too. I was like,
who are you? Everyone got up. But the thing I
learned about y'all, and what I learned about karaoke from y'all,
is if you get up on a karaoke stage, you
better fucking own it, Like you just gotta go. You
can't half ass it. You can't be awkward and shy.
(24:19):
You gotta lean all the way in, even if you
don't know all the lyrics, and just go, just go.
And when I say lean all the way in, let
me give you guys a visual. I thought the night
was winding down, but I guess this was maybe like
the encore, the finale performance, and I see a chair
get brought up to stay there?
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Do you think Britney spears up?
Speaker 1 (24:43):
I didn't know what you were. I thought you were
maybe gonna do what's the one where they.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Pull the water flash dance?
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Yeah, the flash dance dance. Whatever that song is. Yeah,
what a feeling. That's it. That's it. But it wasn't.
So Chip takes the chair, turns it backwards like he's
a c slater, and sits in it stoically starts into
father Figure.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
I was really worried when I did it, too, because
I feel like it came after some really big hype song.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
It's probably Bell Yes, and he gets up there and
does the ballot. He stayed in the chair for half
the song, and he gets up and obviously works the
stage and gives the people what they want. I mean,
that wasn't the only time he was on stage, don't
you guys worry. It was multiple times.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
There were many times.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
I've just never seen so many stellar karaoke performances. I
even felt like that bachelor party that came into the
room with us, they were leaning into it.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
The energy around karaoke was like, get up and own it.
I did not. I couldn't even get up there because
I was so intimidated by all y'all.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Well, what was funny was so my friend Lauren was
in town and she loves karaoke, and she had prepared
gnarly by Kat's Eye and like learned the dance everything. Well,
she fainted at dinner before karaoke and didn't get to
come to the karaoke. Okay, yeah, you're like, I don't
remember that. But the next night, after dinner, a bunch
(26:13):
of us went to the karaoke place so that she
could do it, and the vibe was very different, like
the night of my birthday party. Like if you had
randomly walked into this karaoke place, you would have thought
a real concert was happening, because the whole audience was
like in it, screaming. It was crazy. And we walk
in the next night and it's like there's like twelve
(26:36):
people in the bar, and the people that are singing
are all doing like show tunes, and so it was
like this like and there's like no energy coming at
the stage, and in walks Lauren Waterman and gets up
there and does her dance and like kind of brought
the place down because those of us who were with
her had that same sort of energy. But it was like,
I bring it up because I noticed, like just how
(27:00):
the two nights were and like, I mean we so
she mentioned a bachelor There was a bachelor party that
basically we took up two thirds of the whole bar,
and then this bachelor party came and filled up the
other third, and so it was like them and us
going they were great, and they were great too, but
we invited them on our boat the next day they
ended up. Yeah, we invited all of them, but they
(27:23):
couldn't come.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
I didn't even know that part.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Yeah, I was texting with a dude named Brian.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
Oh my god, I love that you even exchanged numbers.
The thing is, you were not acting fifty that week
this weekend, because like I would be asleep by like
ten every night, I.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Would be up till four am.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
I don't know how you did it. And that one
day you did lose your voice. It was the night
after karaoke. Yeah, I've never heard Chip have such a
low voice. It was like I can't.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
And I was trying so hard to speak, and it
was just making it worse and worse.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
All that singing Father figure really just scream. I think
your body is probably like, why are we up at
four am? You're a percent chicken. I just still can't
believe that you went with it all in all, though,
I mean, I'll love never laughed that hard. At karaoke
was another thing. But our friend Reagan was up on
the speakers dancing like I don't know who we thought we.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Were we I mean we went in there and owned
that bar. That is for sure. If anyone is going
to Key West, you got to go see our boy
Rico at Duval Stars karaoke.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
That is that the one you talk about. It used
to be a strip club.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Wow, what a vibe. Okay, it's a vibe. Yeah, I
was really really into it. Your friend Willa got a
chip is friends with Willa Ford. If you guys remember
I want to be bad back in.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
The day, back in the day, she's.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Making a comeback. So the fact that she got up
and did I wanted to be bad for you. I
was dying.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
She's never done karaoke before in her life, and she
certainly was like, this is the only time I'm ever
going to do this song.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
It has to be because you're turning fifty.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Yeah, we got to get that up on the interneweb
so people can see it.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
I was going to ask you, And this feels kind
of like a good transition. Do you feel like there's
anything people get wrong about aging? And I think this
is an interesting transition because obviously in that those experiences
we were acting like twenty somethings.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Oh yeah, it was like the twenty first birthday.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Do you feel like there's an overall misconception or did
you have another understanding of aging and now you're here
and you're like, well, I.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
Mean, I think, you know, being I'm single and don't
have kids, so my experience is different than a lot
of probably most people's. I've always thought that age is
a number and you have to like really like lean
into that. Like there are certain things scientifically that I
cannot stop from happening. My my joints are going to ache,
my muscles are going to get weaker as I get older,
(29:49):
things like that. But I don't think that like we
all have to stop having fun, you know, Like I
look at my parents in their retirement, like they still
want to have fun. And I don't think that growing
up or maturing means don't have fun. And I think that,
you know, there is particularly in America, in our puritanical society,
(30:13):
there is some sort of a stigma to like you
act your age, you know, like people are expected to
just act like kids. I'm not act like kids as
they grow up. But I'm just like, wouldn't wor'll be
a better place if we all just sort of held
on to that, Like the are youthful qualities, the one
you know, seeing the world with wonder instead of disdain
(30:35):
or jealousy or the things that like creep into our lives.
I mean, that was one of the things that like,
I was doing a little reading before we did this,
and I was like, just do research about like the
good things and the bad things of about turning fifty.
And one of the things that I read was like,
and when it comes to relationships, which I've talked about
a little bit before, like the ones that are really
(30:56):
locked in are so much more clear now and like
you know who your core is, but also your relationship
to yourself gets to change as you are dropping the
things that don't matter. And that really struck me because
I'm like, I want to continue to focus on the
kid in me, and like the kid that just saw wonder,
(31:17):
like that believed he could do anything. That I mean,
it's like the where the what if guy came from?
I think, you know, and so I think that's the
one thing that I'm just going to remind myself as
I continue to age and I, you know, do finally
turn the corner to fifty, that you know, don't lose
the kid.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
Yeah. I love that, and I really like tying it
back into Wednesday's podcast of him starting over at fifty
is essentially what it was. I think we do map
it out when we're younger, and we're kind of like, Okay,
by this age, I'm gonna do this and by this
and that, and then life happens and it never looks
like what we think it will probably now, or if
you get all the things you thought you wanted and
(31:57):
then you are done getting them, you're like, wait, is
this it?
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (32:01):
And I do think as you age you almost can
embrace the child like wonder like you're talking about, even
more than maybe we could in our thirties and even
your forties a little bit. It's like getting back to
the root of why you wanted to do all the
things you wanted to do when you first started in
this business or when you first moved to Nashville, Like
letting yourself get lit up again instead of just being
(32:24):
so focused on the grind. I think that's a beautiful
lesson to take from getting older.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Yeah. Well and even too. It's like while we were
in QS, I could see myself there as a retired
like as a retired person.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Oh, I could totally see you working.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
At a bar, like working on a boat, or like
still working, like because I still I think I'll always
want to have that sort of you know, do I
want to have to have a job, No fucking way,
But like do I want to sit in my house
and watch prices right every day? No?
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Yeah, you want to know, I want to do that on.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
The days that I want to. But I could also
see myself we did. There was on the second day
or on Saturday, we did there was a rental boat
and I had like these It was a female captain
who was a badass and had these beautiful women that
were like serving us. But I'm like, I could capture
one of these boats. I could do this take people
out to party every day. Like, oh my god, that
would be a dream come true. I should. I'd live
(33:20):
on that boat if I could.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Yeah, I can see you doing it.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Yeah yeah. So it was like being able to see
myself still having fun when like the music business is
behind me. It was. It was very clear to me then.
So it's like I don't feel like I have anything
to fear right now.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
Yeah, just stuff to look forward to. Yeah, well, thanks
for sharing your experience with that. I love getting wisdom
from the elderly.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
You better respect your elders.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
I just had to get one in there. If you
guys haven't listened to my podcast with John, go check
it out. If you're going through something later in life
and you feel like you're having a start over, it's
just not were starting over. It's just a new part
of the journey. And I think he really talks about
that a lot, and I think Chip's knowledge and wisdom
today that is also saying the same thing. Just go
(34:09):
out and live life and start over. Do follow your
inner child's journey though too, it's like what did you
what lit you up when you were younger? Like are
you living that out? I think those are really good,
like reflective questions for later stages.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
I also think too, if you can get ahead of
it so that like it's not reactionary. Like obviously john
story is different than mine because he went through a divorce,
he got laid off. There were like things that were
out of his control that happened that he had to
react to. So you know, do as much as you
can to try and stay in control of the things
(34:43):
so that like it's not reactionary.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
I mean, yeah, like you don't want to be looking back.
I just had this conversation with my boyfriend. His dad
is having some health issues, and he was talking just
about how like his dad's at the phase of life
where he's looking back with regret on certain things, and
it's really made my boyfriend and think to himself, I
don't want to get to that place in my life
where I feel that way. I want to do the
things I want to do now, or the things that
(35:08):
light me up, or the things that I'm passionate about,
so that when I'm looking back on my life, I
can feel like, Okay, well I did it, you know,
like I lived in a true way for me, which
I think is sometimes easier said than done because we
all get kind of stuck in the rat race a
little bit. But I do think these kind of conversations
are really good to reflect on and just you know,
make sure you are living in alignment. Like you said,
(35:30):
you feel like your most authentic self right now, and
I think that's beautiful. That's a great reflection to have
on your fiftieth birthday, is that you're really embracing who
you really are. So anyway, if you guys have any
thoughts on this or you're going through a similar experience
and you want to share it with us, you can
always email us at the Edge at velvetsedge dot com
or you can hit me up on Instagram. I'm at Velvet's.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Edge, Chip, I'm at Chip doorsh It's Chip dr scch.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
And don't forget to wish Chip a happy birthday on
November twelfth, you guys sliding to those d M And
as you guys go into the weekend and you're living
on the edge, I hope you always remember to act Catsule.
Bye bye
Host
Kelly Henderson
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Medal of Honor: Stories of Courage
Rewarded for bravery that goes above and beyond the call of duty, the Medal of Honor is the United States’ top military decoration. The stories we tell are about the heroes who have distinguished themselves by acts of heroism and courage that have saved lives. From Judith Resnik, the second woman in space, to Daniel Daly, one of only 19 people to have received the Medal of Honor twice, these are stories about those who have done the improbable and unexpected, who have sacrificed something in the name of something much bigger than themselves. Every Wednesday on Medal of Honor, uncover what their experiences tell us about the nature of sacrifice, why people put their lives in danger for others, and what happens after you’ve become a hero. Special thanks to series creator Dan McGinn, to the Congressional Medal of Honor Society and Adam Plumpton. Medal of Honor begins on May 28. Subscribe to Pushkin+ to hear ad-free episodes one week early. Find Pushkin+ on the Medal of Honor show page in Apple or at Pushkin.fm. Subscribe on Apple: apple.co/pushkin Subscribe on Pushkin: pushkin.fm/plus
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com