January 2, 2026 • 28 mins
Kelly and Chip open their settings and reveal the results of how much time they spend on their phones and doing what. They also reveal astonishing stats about how time spent changes as we age and bring some options on doing things differently to live your actual most connected life.
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HOSTS:
Kelly Henderson // @velvetsedge // velvetsedge.com
Chip Dorsch // @chipdorsch
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Paid ship.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Well, I just sounded like my sister. That's how she said.
I want to call her? What up? Chip?
Speaker 1 (00:20):
I was about to sing you a song? So I
did a podcast on Wednesday that the intuitive told me
that she kept picturing me behind a microphone like emotionally
belting out a song, and she's like, I have now
done this reading with you. Now I'm doing this podcast
with you, and that is not leaving me. And I thought,
I said I'm not a singer though in fact, on
(00:43):
my Friday episodes as my co host, we try to
sing sometimes and we're terrible.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
You don't. I want to know something funny is I
was Actually I was in the studio yesterday with the
band Lula and ended up in the vocal booth doing
gang vocals on the chorus.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
What's a gang vocal similar to a gang bang?
Speaker 2 (01:01):
No? Well yeah, but everyone's singing, so it's like we
were the choir basically, So everyone that was happened to
be at the studio that at that time with studio
only sang harmonies.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Was she channeling your energy on me? Maybe I do
I need to do a gang vocal?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Maybe we need to add you.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
I was dying laughing every time she says it. I'm like,
I mean, I definitely think that I'm in a phase
of learning how to express so I could see that.
But like actually singing by myself behind a mic, I
mean sorry to the audience and its karaoke. Yeah, but
you know, I don't even really like to do that anymore.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Yeah, but that doesn't mean you won't, I guess not. Shoot,
So anyway, always down for karaoke.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
I'm just going to be singing for a week. My
homework is to sing a song by myself for five minutes,
just to like see what happens and see if it
opens anything up. So there you go.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
She gave you homework. Yes, oh wow.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
I love intuitives that give homework because it's been it's
like actually putting things, making things applicable in your life,
like actually putting them into practice.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Next week on the Velvet's Edge, we're going to hear
the debut single from Kelly.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Do you Know what? I?
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Do? You Know what?
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Song? I did today? After that podcast, I was prepping
for some other stuff and then I was sitting in
front of my computer and I did Lisa Lobe stay.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Oh. I just added that to my karaoke list.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
For some reason, that has always been the one song.
When I was younger, I was like, maybe I kind
of sound like Lisa Lobe Like I thought maybe I could.
I think it's because I can stay on pitch with
her the whole entire time, Like I can hit all
the notes. Yeah, in my head, I sound just like her.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
It gets to be a bit tongue twistery at the end.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
I know every word. Yeah, I know the part you're
talking about though. Yeah, call me because you want me
and went to you let me go, you try to
give away keep her anyway, that's.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
A fun I got a fun little fact about that song.
It's the only independent Well it might that this might
not be a fact anymore because it's an older song,
but when it hit number one on the pop chart,
it was the first time an independent song was number
one on the pop chart because she wasn't signed a
record label. Oh really, Yeah, that song was on the
Reality Bite soundtrack.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Yes, that was how I.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
That was put out through a major label, but she
wasn't signed yet. She was Ethan Hawk's neighbor that way, Yeah,
she was his neighbor and he put her on the soundtrack.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
My god, I used to love her.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
M h, I have that. I have her first album
on cassette. It's called the Purple Tape.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
That's what her cassette is called.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Yeah, because it was purple.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Oh oh my god, look at all these fun facts.
I didn't even know what I was opening Pandora's box
when I said Lisa Lobe. Anyway, maybe I'll sing it
again later and I'll alwoice know it to you, my pactice.
That's not what we're actually here to talk about. We
actually both just did a really interesting experience experiment. So
(03:57):
if you are not driving, I would uh, does it
employ you? Is that how you say this? Ploor implore? Wow,
I knew that wasn't right, but my brain's a little
dead today. I would implore you to take out your phone,
open up. If you have an iPhone, go to your settings.
Then what do I do, Chip, I already forgot you.
Go to settings and look at screen screen time. Let
(04:18):
me see if I can find out for those Android users. Android, Yes,
if you're an Android user, So Chip texted me and says,
have you ever looked at your screen time? Which of
course I have. But now I choose to live in
denial and not. But I'm kind of glad you brought
this back up to me because I do feel like
(04:39):
when I just let it free flow and I'm not
at all paying attention, it gets a little out of hand.
Did you want to, like tell us some of your numbers?
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Chip, Yeah, so I was shocked. So my daily average
is down this week to down twenty one percent from
last week to almost eight hours of use on my
phone seven hours and fifty one minutes. That's your daily
app that's the average daily Yes, for yesterday, I was
(05:08):
on my phone ten hours and fifty three minutes one
day calling to me.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Does that include phone calls?
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Probably, but it's not. I don't talk on the phone
that much. I don't even see where phone is on.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
I don't actually know that it does. That's thinking it
worse because it says see all app and website activity.
My daily average is seven hours and thirty two minutes.
That's on apps and websites. Yeah, what's your highest it like,
what's your highest category?
Speaker 2 (05:42):
My most used category is mess I message so texting?
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Are you sure? Did you press the most? Just it's
so it's social not social as well. It does that
including messages.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Yeah, gossa just messages fall into that. So oh, I
spent a wopping eleven seconds today on LinkedIn.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
I don't even have LinkedIn. What is your okay screen
time for social? What is yours for last week?
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Last week?
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Mine is shocking? I want to I don't even know
if I want to say it.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Oh my god, mine is I don't know if this
is collective. I don't know how to read it properly.
I'm looking at last week and it says eighteen hours
and sixteen minutes.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
But yeah, mine says seventeen hours and sixteen minutes. Crazy,
that must be total though, right of the week. Yeah,
my daily average is four hours and nineteen minutes.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Oh yeah, my daily average is four hours and thirty
four seconds.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Oh my god. So Chip and I got to talking
about this because we were just I mean, we comment
about this all the time on this podcast, of just
how we kind of feel like we float through this
world or we're not fully paying attention to things. We're
just like driving the bus, I've going to work, the
hustle of all the things. And you actually sent me
a really interesting article. There was a couple, but this
(07:03):
one post from mel Robbins if you guys ever follow her,
but she's on Instagram. She said, on average, you will
spend twenty years of your life just scrolling through your phone.
Imagine it's the end of your life and someone says,
would you like an extra twenty years and your answer
is nah, I'd rather have I'd rather have spent twenty
years scrolling mindlessly on my phone.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
I mean, it's it really puts it in perspective, like
big time. I know I use my phone a lot
for work, and I think so the text messaging has
a lot to do with work. But it's shocking to
me the differentiation between how much time I spend on
email on my phone versus text messaging, and you know,
(07:46):
a lot of work stuff now does well.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
We talked about that a couple of weeks.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
I hate it. I hate texting for work, but you
just have to it. This is what it is, just
the world that we live in now. But it's it's
a huge difference between mail and and texting. I would
imagine that I just do more of the emailing on
my computer, but I also I am running around a lot.
I'm not often just sitting at my desk, and fact.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
That's all I think I was shocked by your numbers
because I feel like you're either driving or running around
pretty consistently.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Yeah, but I'm one of those bad people that is
on my phone a lot when I'm driving.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
I'm not a bad person. Don't talk about my friend
the way.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Well, I'm just like, it's not a smart thing to do,
and I recognize that, but I also do it, you know,
so I need to be better about it.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Wuld you just say when you're driving when I'm driving, Yeah,
that's to be better about that.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Yeah, I have to be better about it.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
I just think that it's so fascinating because it's such
a I had a somatic therapist once tell me that
motion that I'm doing. The motion right now. You guys
have like the scroll, Like the way we move our
finger up and down on the phone when we're scrolling
is a way that we calm our nervous system, which
I found fascinating because really it's yes, it's a way
(08:58):
we disassociate. So the social media people specifically are so
brilliant because they have learned how to tap into our
addictive brain in our nervous systems. And so we're sitting
there doing that scrolling motion after the like at the
end of a long day, or if you find yourself
doing it in between tasks or when you're on the
phone with someone and you like need to go do that,
(09:20):
really your nervous system is like, I'm overloaded.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Is what that thing that we would do before?
Speaker 1 (09:26):
No, we've never heard that.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
It's something that we've adapted to.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Well, it's what you do on your phone. So before
like when you only had MySpace on your computer, it
was different, right, but somehow, like that's how it's progressed
in our society now that we have such access to
apps on our phone, and that could be for dating apps,
that could be anything. It's like we always wonder why
these things are so addictive. There's obviously like the validation piece,
you know, the reward process that speaks to our brains
(09:52):
and our nervous systems. But I just thought that that's
so interesting about that motion, and so I have started
to try, Like if I find mysel off having those
days where I'm just not able to not pick up
my phone, I'm like, what is going on? Like trying
to ask yourself the deeper questions. But it's crazy how
unconscious it is, you know, like it's literally like that
(10:15):
phantom even vibrate thing that happens in the back pocket,
or if you if you see someone else pick up
their phone and they're checking it, like you have to
check yours, all of a sudden you notice it.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
It's almost like an adult pacifier if you think about it,
because you know, when I walk in, if I'm like
early to a bar, a restaurant or something, it's like
my shield. Yeah, I can like look like I'm not alone.
I can disappear into something, and yeah, I tell myself, oh,
I can use this time to get some stuff done.
But if I look at the stats on my right,
(10:45):
for the most part, I'm probably not doing shit that's
worth doing, you know. Yeah, so you know I I
have to change something like this is shocking to me.
This is the first time I've ever looked at like
I had to google how to figure it out. And
by the way, if you're an Android user, what you
would do is you open your device's settings app and
(11:06):
then tap Digital well Being and Parental Controls, and there's
charts that show your device use and then you should
throw away your phone again on myself, don't start them.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
On those green pack I can't. I can't hear that
ran again. I will say, there is something you can
do on iPhones And I did have this set up
for me for a while where it was like, after
an hour on your social media, you would get it
(11:39):
stops you, it takes you out of it, and it
goes alert. You've been on here for an hour. Let
me tell you how fast that comes in your day.
There would be times where I'm like, it's eight am,
how am I already getting that?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Right?
Speaker 1 (11:50):
And so anyway, I wouldn't necessarily follow the rules, but
it was something that I had in place that did
help me actually be conscious of it more. I mean
not lock you out of the app until the next day, No,
you can just close it out.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
There must be some way, like because if with the
parental control, you might have to go a little deeper,
because there are parental controls that you can literally lock
them out.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
I mean, you sound like such an addict right now,
though when you hear yourself, I mean.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
No, truthfully, it's I would need something that extreme because
I would do exactly what you did. Ah fuck it,
Like in the same way that like when my alarm
goes off at six am, I hit snooze for an hour.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
We'll tell about that stat.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
So I was like, wait a minute, why have I
used my clock more than I used email that day? Well,
because I like, I hit snooze for an hour and
so you're in your clock is open the whole time
that you're doing so it's from like six am to
seven am. The other day.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
I just can't The snooze thing is so bizarre to me.
I don't understand it because I'm like, just set your
alarm for seven, then.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Why then I would hit snooze till eight.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Oh it's just such disrupted sleep, I guess. So I
don't feel rested after. It makes me feel worse if I'm.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Trying to shift my daily habits so that I wake
up earlier so that I can get like a dog
walk in, some meditation, some journaling and the gym all
before work. But it's I know, it's really hard to
shift that because I'm used to standing up really late,
and waking up at six is really hard. So I
(13:23):
have started Now I put my phone in the kitchen
and an alarm clock in the kitchen, so I have
to get out of bed to turn them off.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Yeah, and then once you're out. It's like, you're up,
you might as well make a coffee while you're yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Right, and once I want and you know, after a
few days of this, it will start to form a
habit where it's a lot easier just to get up
at that time because I actually really love being up
in the morning. It's also happen to love sleeping, so
if I can sleep later, I do. But this was
a short tail sign, Like that's really embarrassing that it's
shocking you were on your clock per an hour. Yeah,
(13:57):
Like what a lame app to be on what you did?
Speaker 1 (14:04):
See me Another post that I thought was really interesting
because it really breaks down because when we were talking
about let me backtrack for a second, when we were
talking about the phone thing, you were like, oh my god,
this is crazy. Think about all the time we're missing
with the people in our lives, like actually interacting with
real human beings, really truly connecting, not just disassociating or
(14:27):
thinking that being on social media is true connection. Like
we're missing relationships with the people in our lives. And
then you found this post. Do you want to read
it or do you want me to?
Speaker 2 (14:36):
You can start because there's several slides so.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Yeah, this is on Tank's Good News, But so basically
they're talking about how from the time we're born until
our death, there's different seasons that different relationships are like priorities.
So when you first start, obviously, like your relationship with
your parents and your siblings, like your immediate family is high,
(15:00):
but it peaks in childhood and then it declines after
the age of twenty. So the key takeaways they say
with this lad is time with family is limited. Time
with your parents declines sharply after age twenty. You may
only see your loved ones a few more times. Prioritize
and cherish every moment.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
I mean, it's wild you talk about.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
That one a lot, because you don't. I was talking
about recently, like my parents are actually moving to Nashville,
and I'm so grateful because even if I see them
once a week, it's more than I'm like, we're seeing
them now twice a year, three times a year, you know,
like not very often on holidays. Yeah, And it's like
as everyone gets older, you start to really take that
into consideration of like, oh my gosh, there's not that
(15:43):
much times if I keep on this routine of how
often I'm seeing them. There's not many times that I'm
see them.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Yeah, the closer, the older we all get, the worst
it gets. And you know, you and I it's a
little different because we're both single without children, right, Like
I think about with my sister, who actually lives a
lot closer to my parents and because of that gets
to see them more often. But the older her kids
are getting, the more complicated it is for her to
carve time out to go see my parents.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Of Course, she's got softball games, running them around.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
And running them around, doctor's appointments, someone's sick, and she
doesn't want to get my parents sick and all of
the things. And there's you know, there's a million reasons.
Seeing this post and seeing the graph is actually, like
it's kind of heartbreaking when you think about it, Like
especially for people that move away, Like I haven't lived
where I grew up since i was eighteen years old, right,
(16:33):
so the amount of time that I've gotten to spend
with my parents is diminished because of that. So I,
you know, I do make a very concerted effort to
try and get home several times a year. And if
there's a work excuse for me to be close to
the like closer to Yeah, I'll try and build in
a trip home, even if it's for one night, because
I know how much it means to them, and when
(16:55):
they're gone, it'll mean even more to me.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
You know that I put in that effort for sure,
and you embrace the time you have with them.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
This one says time spent with friends peaks at eighteen
and declines sharply to declines sharply to a low baseline.
Key takeaways embrace friendship breadth, but focus on depths. Cherish
those who are with you through good and bad times.
Invest your energy in healthy, meaningful friendships that last.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
I mean, it's crazy because you know that one makes
a lot of sense when I look at it. But
as someone who's single, you know, and doesn't live in
the same town as my parents, my family are my friends, well,
I actually think.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Our friend work is really good at seeing each other right,
And so.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
I don't know that that graph necessarily applies to me,
but I can see how in general it applies to
most people. Because you know, your life is pretty care
free until you're eighteen, and then you go off to
college and responsibilities set in and you're starting families of
your own and all those things. So time with friends
becomes less of a priority. But for me, you know,
(18:07):
if if I'm not with friends, I'm alone. Well right,
me too, So my graph is a little different. Like granted,
like I'd have to quantify which friends because it would
have to be very different graphs like obviously my high
my high school friends, that graph really does apply to me, Yeah,
because I very rarely to speak to them. And then
(18:27):
I have New York friends and LA friends and Nashville friends,
and so I have I guess I have different graphs,
But I think that the key takeaway for me there
is is like to identify those that you just can't
live without and make sure to spend as much time
with or communicate with them as much as possible.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Well, I like the depth, not Brett like it does.
Do you think as you get older or for me,
this is how it's worked. I've started to not have
as many acquaintances per se, like in your twenties and stuff.
Remember I'd be like, oh, I just want to go out,
so who can I do that with? And it's like
you can go up with the youn't barely even knew,
Like it was just I don't know we would just
hang out with different kinds of people. Now, I'm like,
(19:06):
if I'm giving effort into a relationship or time, because
none of us have that much of that because of
work and responsibilities and all the things you mentioned. I
do think I need it to be someone who I
genuinely have a connection with, who is pouring into me
as much as I'm pouring into them, that we could
actually talk about real shit. We're not just like going
and getting drunk together like you win in your twenties,
(19:27):
you know, like your relationships do change. But I do
think the depth piece is something to really consider as
you get older.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Yeah, times it with partner is the opposite, But that
actually goes to show if you're not happy in your
marriage or your relationship, like you're wasting a lot of
time because that trends upwards until death. So the key
takeaways there, he says, are, who you choose as your
partner is actually the most important decision you'll ever make.
Find someone you genuinely enjoy spending time with, never settle
(19:56):
for less than love.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
Yeah, it's I mean, the end of that graph is
really sad too, because it's a steep drop off, which means.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
That's a three dives. Yeah, well that's the inevitable that
is not happening, but we all die.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
It's also interesting too, sort of. I mean, I don't
know how where they got the graphs from, but the
really sharp endclines is between like twenty four and thirty.
I wonder if that's like that that's the window when
most people get married.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Probably, Yeah, that's you're right, because it rises a lot. Yeah,
it's probably like look like that. That's okay, though, everyone's
on their own journey. I've spent with children peaks in
your thirty so that's I guess when people are having
kids more decline sharply thereafter. Time with your children is short. Same,
that's the opposite of the parents. Obviously, slow down and
(20:50):
embrace the sweetness that children bring to your life. Co workers,
this is an interesting one. Steady during the prime working
years from twenty to sixty, But you spent a lot
of time with your coworkers.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Yeah, it's the longest relationships that you have, really crazy,
who most steady, I get.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Yeah, who you choose to work with is one of
the most important decisions you'll make as well. Find work
and coworkers that create energy in your life. We have
an interesting thing there too, though, because literally we work
with our best friends.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
True. Yeah, And that's how my.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Friends have become my friends. It's from work. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
And depending on where you live, you might not have
as many options of you know, what you get to
do or or who you get to work with. True.
So we're a bit of an anomaly there. But that said,
I think if you are able to choose to do
something that you love, you're probably going to end up
finding like minded people that you're going to get along with.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Really well, I'm spend alone was a little weird too.
It says it's steadily and pays throughout your life, which
if you really think about, is true. And my mom
has always said this, like the older you get, the
(22:07):
more clear it becomes. You remember, you came into this
world alone, and you're gonna actually leave alone too, even
if you're surrounded by loved ones. Like, it's an experience
that we all go through by ourselves.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Right.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
So he says, learn to embrace solitude, flect your boredom, muscle, regularly,
find happiness and joy in the time you have to yourself.
There will be a whole lot of it as you
get older. So in summary, one, family time is limited. Chairshit.
Two friend time is limited. Prioritize real ones. Three partner
time is significant. Never settle for children. Time is precious,
(22:42):
be present. Five coworker time is significant. Find energy. Six
alone time is highest. Love yourself, damn and don't get
off your phone.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Get off your phones.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
I mean, those are two a little bit separate topics
that at the point we're trying to make here is
like it really is starting to dawn on us how
unconscious we're moving through our lives sometimes and how much
time we're wasting on things that actually don't matter to us.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Well, you know, when you think about like the lifetime
of humanity and how new these like phones being in
our hands and having every touch of a button is,
you know, on that graph, it's such a small amount
of time. So we really don't know the shift that
this is going to have in humanity. And you know,
(23:30):
it feels like we're really connected because we're on Instagram
and Facebook and all the things that you know are
meant are designed to connect us, but we're really isolating ourselves.
You know. I do think there are lots of benefits
to it, too, Like I can stay in touch with
friends that live in Europe of course because of this device,
and it makes it a lot easier than mailing a
letter and hoping it gets there one day. But I
(23:54):
think that the the major takeaway is that it's it's
a that loss. These things, you know, they might make
us a little bit more productive, but I think they
make us more isolated than connected.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Because I was thinking, you said, so much of your
time is spent texting, and like, even with work stuff,
how often are you actually in a bad mood but
you're texting like you're not, you know, like so you're
not actually being true. It's like when you're experience a
person in real life or even on the phone, you
can hear tone of voice, you can hear like you
just read energy better than you can do to like
(24:31):
just a text.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Right totally, So you can push and you can push
down your emotions too, when you actually probably need to
sit in them for a minute and feel them and
work through them and work through whatever it is it's
putting you in that mood. But you have to like
be on and getting your job done and all the things,
or planning your night out or whatever it is that
(24:54):
you're doing right, But you know, to lean into my
word of the Year which was explore, like I am
I need to sit down and do some deep digging
and figure out what what I'm gonna do to buy
myself some more time for me because these dating apps,
I like every time I'm on them, like it's there.
I don't find them beneficial, Like, but I feel like
(25:16):
I'm doing something. I feel like I'm searching for my somebody.
But I would probably be better off like volunteering somewhere
or even out at a bar, like forcing myself through
the activity, yeah, or doing an activity, joining a sports
team with some gay gaze, you know, like sports ball,
(25:37):
just doing something where I'm interacting with people in a
real way versus just putting myself in like a window
to be shopped.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
You know, that's totally Yeah. I used to when I
was on apps, I would set a limit, like I
would set the timer for ten minutes in the morning
and then I would do ten minutes at night. That's
all I would do because to me, it is the
same thing as social media, and I was like, I don'
not I do not need another thing where I'm just
scrolling and scrolling as I also found that the days
where I wouldn't do that and I would let myself scroll,
(26:04):
I would get so depressed because it would like, if
you're continuing to scroll, you're obviously not seeing anything you want,
and you're looking for some sort of proof that that
someone could be out there. So it's like depressing if
you're not finding it, you know, yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Yeah, and it's yeah, I think it's a self fulfilling prophecy.
It's asbably most of the time you're not finding someone, right,
you know, like literally ninety nine of the time. Yeah,
really working for you. And then you're like, well, fuck,
I just wasted two hours. And sure, you know, at
least like if you're at a bar and you don't
(26:42):
meet somebody, you probably had fun. You might have had
some good conversations and had a couple of drinks or what.
I don't know. I need to change some shit up
in my life, is all I know based on these
statistics of my phone.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
So basically, we are are just inviting you guys to
go check your screen time like we did, fascinating experience
and let us know what you come across too. Like
I just want to I think I am going to
set the timer again for my social media, just so
it goes off because I am trying to be more
active on there for work purposes, but I also don't
(27:14):
need to fully scroll all the time, like I'm just
finding myself doing it and it's basically a waste of time.
So yeah, yeah, that's my new thing. If you guys
do try it and you want to let us know,
you can always email us at the Edge at velvetedge
dot com or you can hit us up on the
voicemail send us some voicemails. We're ready. You can find
(27:35):
that on my Instagram in the link at the bio.
It is at Velvet's Edge Chip.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
I'm at Chip doorshos ch ip d r sch.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
And as you guys are going into the weekend and
you're living on the edge, I was gonna try to
be cute, but I stop myself. If you're living hopefully
not living on your phone, I hope you always remember
it too a casual bye bye mm hmm
Paid ship.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Well, I just sounded like my sister. That's how she said.
I want to call her? What up? Chip?
Speaker 1 (00:20):
I was about to sing you a song? So I
did a podcast on Wednesday that the intuitive told me
that she kept picturing me behind a microphone like emotionally
belting out a song, and she's like, I have now
done this reading with you. Now I'm doing this podcast
with you, and that is not leaving me. And I thought,
I said I'm not a singer though in fact, on
(00:43):
my Friday episodes as my co host, we try to
sing sometimes and we're terrible.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
You don't. I want to know something funny is I
was Actually I was in the studio yesterday with the
band Lula and ended up in the vocal booth doing
gang vocals on the chorus.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
What's a gang vocal similar to a gang bang?
Speaker 2 (01:01):
No? Well yeah, but everyone's singing, so it's like we
were the choir basically, So everyone that was happened to
be at the studio that at that time with studio
only sang harmonies.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Was she channeling your energy on me? Maybe I do
I need to do a gang vocal?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Maybe we need to add you.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
I was dying laughing every time she says it. I'm like,
I mean, I definitely think that I'm in a phase
of learning how to express so I could see that.
But like actually singing by myself behind a mic, I
mean sorry to the audience and its karaoke. Yeah, but
you know, I don't even really like to do that anymore.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Yeah, but that doesn't mean you won't, I guess not. Shoot,
So anyway, always down for karaoke.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
I'm just going to be singing for a week. My
homework is to sing a song by myself for five minutes,
just to like see what happens and see if it
opens anything up. So there you go.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
She gave you homework. Yes, oh wow.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
I love intuitives that give homework because it's been it's
like actually putting things, making things applicable in your life,
like actually putting them into practice.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Next week on the Velvet's Edge, we're going to hear
the debut single from Kelly.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Do you Know what? I?
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Do? You Know what?
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Song? I did today? After that podcast, I was prepping
for some other stuff and then I was sitting in
front of my computer and I did Lisa Lobe stay.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Oh. I just added that to my karaoke list.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
For some reason, that has always been the one song.
When I was younger, I was like, maybe I kind
of sound like Lisa Lobe Like I thought maybe I could.
I think it's because I can stay on pitch with
her the whole entire time, Like I can hit all
the notes. Yeah, in my head, I sound just like her.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
It gets to be a bit tongue twistery at the end.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
I know every word. Yeah, I know the part you're
talking about though. Yeah, call me because you want me
and went to you let me go, you try to
give away keep her anyway, that's.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
A fun I got a fun little fact about that song.
It's the only independent Well it might that this might
not be a fact anymore because it's an older song,
but when it hit number one on the pop chart,
it was the first time an independent song was number
one on the pop chart because she wasn't signed a
record label. Oh really, Yeah, that song was on the
Reality Bite soundtrack.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Yes, that was how I.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
That was put out through a major label, but she
wasn't signed yet. She was Ethan Hawk's neighbor that way, Yeah,
she was his neighbor and he put her on the soundtrack.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
My god, I used to love her.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
M h, I have that. I have her first album
on cassette. It's called the Purple Tape.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
That's what her cassette is called.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Yeah, because it was purple.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Oh oh my god, look at all these fun facts.
I didn't even know what I was opening Pandora's box
when I said Lisa Lobe. Anyway, maybe I'll sing it
again later and I'll alwoice know it to you, my pactice.
That's not what we're actually here to talk about. We
actually both just did a really interesting experience experiment. So
(03:57):
if you are not driving, I would uh, does it
employ you? Is that how you say this? Ploor implore? Wow,
I knew that wasn't right, but my brain's a little
dead today. I would implore you to take out your phone,
open up. If you have an iPhone, go to your settings.
Then what do I do, Chip, I already forgot you.
Go to settings and look at screen screen time. Let
(04:18):
me see if I can find out for those Android users. Android, Yes,
if you're an Android user, So Chip texted me and says,
have you ever looked at your screen time? Which of
course I have. But now I choose to live in
denial and not. But I'm kind of glad you brought
this back up to me because I do feel like
(04:39):
when I just let it free flow and I'm not
at all paying attention, it gets a little out of hand.
Did you want to, like tell us some of your numbers?
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Chip, Yeah, so I was shocked. So my daily average
is down this week to down twenty one percent from
last week to almost eight hours of use on my
phone seven hours and fifty one minutes. That's your daily
app that's the average daily Yes, for yesterday, I was
(05:08):
on my phone ten hours and fifty three minutes one
day calling to me.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Does that include phone calls?
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Probably, but it's not. I don't talk on the phone
that much. I don't even see where phone is on.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
I don't actually know that it does. That's thinking it
worse because it says see all app and website activity.
My daily average is seven hours and thirty two minutes.
That's on apps and websites. Yeah, what's your highest it like,
what's your highest category?
Speaker 2 (05:42):
My most used category is mess I message so texting?
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Are you sure? Did you press the most? Just it's
so it's social not social as well. It does that
including messages.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Yeah, gossa just messages fall into that. So oh, I
spent a wopping eleven seconds today on LinkedIn.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
I don't even have LinkedIn. What is your okay screen
time for social? What is yours for last week?
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Last week?
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Mine is shocking? I want to I don't even know
if I want to say it.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Oh my god, mine is I don't know if this
is collective. I don't know how to read it properly.
I'm looking at last week and it says eighteen hours
and sixteen minutes.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
But yeah, mine says seventeen hours and sixteen minutes. Crazy,
that must be total though, right of the week. Yeah,
my daily average is four hours and nineteen minutes.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Oh yeah, my daily average is four hours and thirty
four seconds.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Oh my god. So Chip and I got to talking
about this because we were just I mean, we comment
about this all the time on this podcast, of just
how we kind of feel like we float through this
world or we're not fully paying attention to things. We're
just like driving the bus, I've going to work, the
hustle of all the things. And you actually sent me
a really interesting article. There was a couple, but this
(07:03):
one post from mel Robbins if you guys ever follow her,
but she's on Instagram. She said, on average, you will
spend twenty years of your life just scrolling through your phone.
Imagine it's the end of your life and someone says,
would you like an extra twenty years and your answer
is nah, I'd rather have I'd rather have spent twenty
years scrolling mindlessly on my phone.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
I mean, it's it really puts it in perspective, like
big time. I know I use my phone a lot
for work, and I think so the text messaging has
a lot to do with work. But it's shocking to
me the differentiation between how much time I spend on
email on my phone versus text messaging, and you know,
(07:46):
a lot of work stuff now does well.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
We talked about that a couple of weeks.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
I hate it. I hate texting for work, but you
just have to it. This is what it is, just
the world that we live in now. But it's it's
a huge difference between mail and and texting. I would
imagine that I just do more of the emailing on
my computer, but I also I am running around a lot.
I'm not often just sitting at my desk, and fact.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
That's all I think I was shocked by your numbers
because I feel like you're either driving or running around
pretty consistently.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Yeah, but I'm one of those bad people that is
on my phone a lot when I'm driving.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
I'm not a bad person. Don't talk about my friend
the way.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Well, I'm just like, it's not a smart thing to do,
and I recognize that, but I also do it, you know,
so I need to be better about it.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Wuld you just say when you're driving when I'm driving, Yeah,
that's to be better about that.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Yeah, I have to be better about it.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
I just think that it's so fascinating because it's such
a I had a somatic therapist once tell me that
motion that I'm doing. The motion right now. You guys
have like the scroll, Like the way we move our
finger up and down on the phone when we're scrolling
is a way that we calm our nervous system, which
I found fascinating because really it's yes, it's a way
(08:58):
we disassociate. So the social media people specifically are so
brilliant because they have learned how to tap into our
addictive brain in our nervous systems. And so we're sitting
there doing that scrolling motion after the like at the
end of a long day, or if you find yourself
doing it in between tasks or when you're on the
phone with someone and you like need to go do that,
(09:20):
really your nervous system is like, I'm overloaded.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Is what that thing that we would do before?
Speaker 1 (09:26):
No, we've never heard that.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
It's something that we've adapted to.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Well, it's what you do on your phone. So before
like when you only had MySpace on your computer, it
was different, right, but somehow, like that's how it's progressed
in our society now that we have such access to
apps on our phone, and that could be for dating apps,
that could be anything. It's like we always wonder why
these things are so addictive. There's obviously like the validation piece,
you know, the reward process that speaks to our brains
(09:52):
and our nervous systems. But I just thought that that's
so interesting about that motion, and so I have started
to try, Like if I find mysel off having those
days where I'm just not able to not pick up
my phone, I'm like, what is going on? Like trying
to ask yourself the deeper questions. But it's crazy how
unconscious it is, you know, like it's literally like that
(10:15):
phantom even vibrate thing that happens in the back pocket,
or if you if you see someone else pick up
their phone and they're checking it, like you have to
check yours, all of a sudden you notice it.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
It's almost like an adult pacifier if you think about it,
because you know, when I walk in, if I'm like
early to a bar, a restaurant or something, it's like
my shield. Yeah, I can like look like I'm not alone.
I can disappear into something, and yeah, I tell myself, oh,
I can use this time to get some stuff done.
But if I look at the stats on my right,
(10:45):
for the most part, I'm probably not doing shit that's
worth doing, you know. Yeah, so you know I I
have to change something like this is shocking to me.
This is the first time I've ever looked at like
I had to google how to figure it out. And
by the way, if you're an Android user, what you
would do is you open your device's settings app and
(11:06):
then tap Digital well Being and Parental Controls, and there's
charts that show your device use and then you should
throw away your phone again on myself, don't start them.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
On those green pack I can't. I can't hear that
ran again. I will say, there is something you can
do on iPhones And I did have this set up
for me for a while where it was like, after
an hour on your social media, you would get it
(11:39):
stops you, it takes you out of it, and it
goes alert. You've been on here for an hour. Let
me tell you how fast that comes in your day.
There would be times where I'm like, it's eight am,
how am I already getting that?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Right?
Speaker 1 (11:50):
And so anyway, I wouldn't necessarily follow the rules, but
it was something that I had in place that did
help me actually be conscious of it more. I mean
not lock you out of the app until the next day, No,
you can just close it out.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
There must be some way, like because if with the
parental control, you might have to go a little deeper,
because there are parental controls that you can literally lock
them out.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
I mean, you sound like such an addict right now,
though when you hear yourself, I mean.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
No, truthfully, it's I would need something that extreme because
I would do exactly what you did. Ah fuck it,
Like in the same way that like when my alarm
goes off at six am, I hit snooze for an hour.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
We'll tell about that stat.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
So I was like, wait a minute, why have I
used my clock more than I used email that day? Well,
because I like, I hit snooze for an hour and
so you're in your clock is open the whole time
that you're doing so it's from like six am to
seven am. The other day.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
I just can't The snooze thing is so bizarre to me.
I don't understand it because I'm like, just set your
alarm for seven, then.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Why then I would hit snooze till eight.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Oh it's just such disrupted sleep, I guess. So I
don't feel rested after. It makes me feel worse if I'm.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Trying to shift my daily habits so that I wake
up earlier so that I can get like a dog
walk in, some meditation, some journaling and the gym all
before work. But it's I know, it's really hard to
shift that because I'm used to standing up really late,
and waking up at six is really hard. So I
(13:23):
have started Now I put my phone in the kitchen
and an alarm clock in the kitchen, so I have
to get out of bed to turn them off.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Yeah, and then once you're out. It's like, you're up,
you might as well make a coffee while you're yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Right, and once I want and you know, after a
few days of this, it will start to form a
habit where it's a lot easier just to get up
at that time because I actually really love being up
in the morning. It's also happen to love sleeping, so
if I can sleep later, I do. But this was
a short tail sign, Like that's really embarrassing that it's
shocking you were on your clock per an hour. Yeah,
(13:57):
Like what a lame app to be on what you did?
Speaker 1 (14:04):
See me Another post that I thought was really interesting
because it really breaks down because when we were talking
about let me backtrack for a second, when we were
talking about the phone thing, you were like, oh my god,
this is crazy. Think about all the time we're missing
with the people in our lives, like actually interacting with
real human beings, really truly connecting, not just disassociating or
(14:27):
thinking that being on social media is true connection. Like
we're missing relationships with the people in our lives. And
then you found this post. Do you want to read
it or do you want me to?
Speaker 2 (14:36):
You can start because there's several slides so.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Yeah, this is on Tank's Good News, But so basically
they're talking about how from the time we're born until
our death, there's different seasons that different relationships are like priorities.
So when you first start, obviously, like your relationship with
your parents and your siblings, like your immediate family is high,
(15:00):
but it peaks in childhood and then it declines after
the age of twenty. So the key takeaways they say
with this lad is time with family is limited. Time
with your parents declines sharply after age twenty. You may
only see your loved ones a few more times. Prioritize
and cherish every moment.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
I mean, it's wild you talk about.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
That one a lot, because you don't. I was talking
about recently, like my parents are actually moving to Nashville,
and I'm so grateful because even if I see them
once a week, it's more than I'm like, we're seeing
them now twice a year, three times a year, you know,
like not very often on holidays. Yeah, And it's like
as everyone gets older, you start to really take that
into consideration of like, oh my gosh, there's not that
(15:43):
much times if I keep on this routine of how
often I'm seeing them. There's not many times that I'm
see them.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Yeah, the closer, the older we all get, the worst
it gets. And you know, you and I it's a
little different because we're both single without children, right, Like
I think about with my sister, who actually lives a
lot closer to my parents and because of that gets
to see them more often. But the older her kids
are getting, the more complicated it is for her to
carve time out to go see my parents.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Of Course, she's got softball games, running them around.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
And running them around, doctor's appointments, someone's sick, and she
doesn't want to get my parents sick and all of
the things. And there's you know, there's a million reasons.
Seeing this post and seeing the graph is actually, like
it's kind of heartbreaking when you think about it, Like
especially for people that move away, Like I haven't lived
where I grew up since i was eighteen years old, right,
(16:33):
so the amount of time that I've gotten to spend
with my parents is diminished because of that. So I,
you know, I do make a very concerted effort to
try and get home several times a year. And if
there's a work excuse for me to be close to
the like closer to Yeah, I'll try and build in
a trip home, even if it's for one night, because
I know how much it means to them, and when
(16:55):
they're gone, it'll mean even more to me.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
You know that I put in that effort for sure,
and you embrace the time you have with them.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
This one says time spent with friends peaks at eighteen
and declines sharply to declines sharply to a low baseline.
Key takeaways embrace friendship breadth, but focus on depths. Cherish
those who are with you through good and bad times.
Invest your energy in healthy, meaningful friendships that last.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
I mean, it's crazy because you know that one makes
a lot of sense when I look at it. But
as someone who's single, you know, and doesn't live in
the same town as my parents, my family are my friends, well,
I actually think.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Our friend work is really good at seeing each other right,
And so.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
I don't know that that graph necessarily applies to me,
but I can see how in general it applies to
most people. Because you know, your life is pretty care
free until you're eighteen, and then you go off to
college and responsibilities set in and you're starting families of
your own and all those things. So time with friends
becomes less of a priority. But for me, you know,
(18:07):
if if I'm not with friends, I'm alone. Well right,
me too, So my graph is a little different. Like granted,
like I'd have to quantify which friends because it would
have to be very different graphs like obviously my high
my high school friends, that graph really does apply to me, Yeah,
because I very rarely to speak to them. And then
(18:27):
I have New York friends and LA friends and Nashville friends,
and so I have I guess I have different graphs,
But I think that the key takeaway for me there
is is like to identify those that you just can't
live without and make sure to spend as much time
with or communicate with them as much as possible.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Well, I like the depth, not Brett like it does.
Do you think as you get older or for me,
this is how it's worked. I've started to not have
as many acquaintances per se, like in your twenties and stuff.
Remember I'd be like, oh, I just want to go out,
so who can I do that with? And it's like
you can go up with the youn't barely even knew,
Like it was just I don't know we would just
hang out with different kinds of people. Now, I'm like,
(19:06):
if I'm giving effort into a relationship or time, because
none of us have that much of that because of
work and responsibilities and all the things you mentioned. I
do think I need it to be someone who I
genuinely have a connection with, who is pouring into me
as much as I'm pouring into them, that we could
actually talk about real shit. We're not just like going
and getting drunk together like you win in your twenties,
(19:27):
you know, like your relationships do change. But I do
think the depth piece is something to really consider as
you get older.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Yeah, times it with partner is the opposite, But that
actually goes to show if you're not happy in your
marriage or your relationship, like you're wasting a lot of
time because that trends upwards until death. So the key
takeaways there, he says, are, who you choose as your
partner is actually the most important decision you'll ever make.
Find someone you genuinely enjoy spending time with, never settle
(19:56):
for less than love.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
Yeah, it's I mean, the end of that graph is
really sad too, because it's a steep drop off, which means.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
That's a three dives. Yeah, well that's the inevitable that
is not happening, but we all die.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
It's also interesting too, sort of. I mean, I don't
know how where they got the graphs from, but the
really sharp endclines is between like twenty four and thirty.
I wonder if that's like that that's the window when
most people get married.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Probably, Yeah, that's you're right, because it rises a lot. Yeah,
it's probably like look like that. That's okay, though, everyone's
on their own journey. I've spent with children peaks in
your thirty so that's I guess when people are having
kids more decline sharply thereafter. Time with your children is short. Same,
that's the opposite of the parents. Obviously, slow down and
(20:50):
embrace the sweetness that children bring to your life. Co workers,
this is an interesting one. Steady during the prime working
years from twenty to sixty, But you spent a lot
of time with your coworkers.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Yeah, it's the longest relationships that you have, really crazy,
who most steady, I get.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Yeah, who you choose to work with is one of
the most important decisions you'll make as well. Find work
and coworkers that create energy in your life. We have
an interesting thing there too, though, because literally we work
with our best friends.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
True. Yeah, And that's how my.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Friends have become my friends. It's from work. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
And depending on where you live, you might not have
as many options of you know, what you get to
do or or who you get to work with. True.
So we're a bit of an anomaly there. But that said,
I think if you are able to choose to do
something that you love, you're probably going to end up
finding like minded people that you're going to get along with.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Really well, I'm spend alone was a little weird too.
It says it's steadily and pays throughout your life, which
if you really think about, is true. And my mom
has always said this, like the older you get, the
(22:07):
more clear it becomes. You remember, you came into this
world alone, and you're gonna actually leave alone too, even
if you're surrounded by loved ones. Like, it's an experience
that we all go through by ourselves.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Right.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
So he says, learn to embrace solitude, flect your boredom, muscle, regularly,
find happiness and joy in the time you have to yourself.
There will be a whole lot of it as you
get older. So in summary, one, family time is limited. Chairshit.
Two friend time is limited. Prioritize real ones. Three partner
time is significant. Never settle for children. Time is precious,
(22:42):
be present. Five coworker time is significant. Find energy. Six
alone time is highest. Love yourself, damn and don't get
off your phone.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Get off your phones.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
I mean, those are two a little bit separate topics
that at the point we're trying to make here is
like it really is starting to dawn on us how
unconscious we're moving through our lives sometimes and how much
time we're wasting on things that actually don't matter to us.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Well, you know, when you think about like the lifetime
of humanity and how new these like phones being in
our hands and having every touch of a button is,
you know, on that graph, it's such a small amount
of time. So we really don't know the shift that
this is going to have in humanity. And you know,
(23:30):
it feels like we're really connected because we're on Instagram
and Facebook and all the things that you know are
meant are designed to connect us, but we're really isolating ourselves.
You know. I do think there are lots of benefits
to it, too, Like I can stay in touch with
friends that live in Europe of course because of this device,
and it makes it a lot easier than mailing a
letter and hoping it gets there one day. But I
(23:54):
think that the the major takeaway is that it's it's
a that loss. These things, you know, they might make
us a little bit more productive, but I think they
make us more isolated than connected.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Because I was thinking, you said, so much of your
time is spent texting, and like, even with work stuff,
how often are you actually in a bad mood but
you're texting like you're not, you know, like so you're
not actually being true. It's like when you're experience a
person in real life or even on the phone, you
can hear tone of voice, you can hear like you
just read energy better than you can do to like
(24:31):
just a text.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Right totally, So you can push and you can push
down your emotions too, when you actually probably need to
sit in them for a minute and feel them and
work through them and work through whatever it is it's
putting you in that mood. But you have to like
be on and getting your job done and all the things,
or planning your night out or whatever it is that
(24:54):
you're doing right, But you know, to lean into my
word of the Year which was explore, like I am
I need to sit down and do some deep digging
and figure out what what I'm gonna do to buy
myself some more time for me because these dating apps,
I like every time I'm on them, like it's there.
I don't find them beneficial, Like, but I feel like
(25:16):
I'm doing something. I feel like I'm searching for my somebody.
But I would probably be better off like volunteering somewhere
or even out at a bar, like forcing myself through
the activity, yeah, or doing an activity, joining a sports
team with some gay gaze, you know, like sports ball,
(25:37):
just doing something where I'm interacting with people in a
real way versus just putting myself in like a window
to be shopped.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
You know, that's totally Yeah. I used to when I
was on apps, I would set a limit, like I
would set the timer for ten minutes in the morning
and then I would do ten minutes at night. That's
all I would do because to me, it is the
same thing as social media, and I was like, I don'
not I do not need another thing where I'm just
scrolling and scrolling as I also found that the days
where I wouldn't do that and I would let myself scroll,
(26:04):
I would get so depressed because it would like, if
you're continuing to scroll, you're obviously not seeing anything you want,
and you're looking for some sort of proof that that
someone could be out there. So it's like depressing if
you're not finding it, you know, yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Yeah, and it's yeah, I think it's a self fulfilling prophecy.
It's asbably most of the time you're not finding someone, right,
you know, like literally ninety nine of the time. Yeah,
really working for you. And then you're like, well, fuck,
I just wasted two hours. And sure, you know, at
least like if you're at a bar and you don't
(26:42):
meet somebody, you probably had fun. You might have had
some good conversations and had a couple of drinks or what.
I don't know. I need to change some shit up
in my life, is all I know based on these
statistics of my phone.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
So basically, we are are just inviting you guys to
go check your screen time like we did, fascinating experience
and let us know what you come across too. Like
I just want to I think I am going to
set the timer again for my social media, just so
it goes off because I am trying to be more
active on there for work purposes, but I also don't
(27:14):
need to fully scroll all the time, like I'm just
finding myself doing it and it's basically a waste of time.
So yeah, yeah, that's my new thing. If you guys
do try it and you want to let us know,
you can always email us at the Edge at velvetedge
dot com or you can hit us up on the
voicemail send us some voicemails. We're ready. You can find
(27:35):
that on my Instagram in the link at the bio.
It is at Velvet's Edge Chip.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
I'm at Chip doorshos ch ip d r sch.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
And as you guys are going into the weekend and
you're living on the edge, I was gonna try to
be cute, but I stop myself. If you're living hopefully
not living on your phone, I hope you always remember
it too a casual bye bye mm hmm
Host
Kelly Henderson
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