April 11, 2025 • 34 mins
Inspired by Kelly’s conversation with Lauren Sisler about the power of owning your full story, Chip and Kelly dive into the parts of their lives that once felt hard to share—and how laughter has become a tool for healing. From shame to self-acceptance, they reflect on the moments that shaped them… and wrap it all up with hilarious, dramatic movie trailer voice overs of their own lives. Because sometimes, the best way to own your story is to laugh your way through it.
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HOSTS:
Kelly Henderson // @velvetsedge // velvetsedge.com
Chip Dorsch // @chipdorsch
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Good afternoons. We've behead Are you gonna be a going
to wake up for this podcast?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
I hope?
Speaker 3 (00:06):
So I have you been so tired?
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I don't know. You said something about the moon, So
I'm just going to blame on the moon, full moon
sucking my energy out.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
I love Chip and I were supposed to have a
meeting yesterday and he I'm sorry today, and he texted
me yesterday and was like, Okay, I'll see you on
the meeting of whatever time. And I thought, wait, huh.
I thought for a second, I had gotten my days wrong,
but you had gotten a days wrong. And we were
talking about you missed a doctor's appointment too. You were
just off and you go, oh, just mark your retrograde.
And I didn't have the heart to tell you it's over.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
So the retrograde's retrograde.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Yeah, it's just no.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I think you're just chipping like I was. There's really
nothing you can blame right now. I did give you
the moon. There's a full moon this week.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
So I feel like because yesterday it start my day
started with missing a doctor's pointment in the morning, and
it's it's always an indicator, like, yeah, those days are
like you should just crawl right back into f everything,
because it's when your day starts off shitty, it's just
gonna it's a domino effect. At least that's my experience generally.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Well, especially if it starts with being late or forgetting
an appointment like something like that kind of seems like
it just throws everything off For some reason.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
I didn't call to be like I'm running late. I
thought I would just show up late. Yeah, well we're
gonna have to reschedule for July.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
I was like, what.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
I ended up getting in today? So I got a
good bill of health?
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Well good, Well, I hope you can wake up. He's
been yawning since we got on this.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
We shall see.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
The weather's weird, so the clouds just rolled in. My
body is like, oh, it's sleepy.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Time, nap time. But it's not. It's not.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
I like our topic today. I think it's kind of fun.
But I was telling you I talked to Lauren Sissler,
who's a sideline reporter for ESPN. She does college football,
So you know, I'm always gonna be so excited to
talk to people like that. It was combining like both
of the best of both worlds to me because we
were talked about she wrote a book called Shatterproof, How
I overcame the shame of losing my parents to opioid addiction.
(02:12):
She lost both her parents in one day. Could you imagine?
I mean wild, wild, and so heartbreaking and devastating, obviously
very traumatic, and so we were talking about that experience
and then at the end we got to talk about
college football a little bit. So it was kind of
my dream come true conversation.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Yeah, I'm like, I don't know if I'll to that one.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Yeah, you're like a sportsball what.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Anyway, Lauren has a really cool story because now, you know,
I love people who are turning their pain into purpose.
And the fact that she's been able to find the
resilience and even just find her voice about this heart
of a topic. You know, it was so traumatic in
her life, and she's now doing public speaking, she's written
this book, and she's really trying to help other people
(02:57):
find tell and love their stories. And that was so
inspiring to me because I do find when I look
back at my life when traumatic things have happened, it
does shut you down a lot, and I think you
can often go into kind of like this freeze mode,
I start stop being able to speak even about the
topic for a while, and there just feels like there's
(03:18):
just like this heaviness to it. And it's maybe sometimes
I think, a human nature thing to kind of just
want to forget that happen, push it away, you know,
cover it up. And you and I were talking and
we're thinking about those moments in our lives now, and
I think this is probably because we've both done a
lot of work and like the more you grow out
(03:39):
of it or time passes and things get better again
in your life, the easier it is to look back
at those traumatic events and go, wow, I would never
be able to be where I am now without that,
and so you can almost have like a gratitude for it.
So it does shift a little bit. I know, you said,
that's happened a lot in your life, right.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Yeah, And I mean even thinking about her story too,
it's like I'm trying to put myself in her shoes,
and I don't like the me right now, Like with
that idea is like I had, you don't recover from that,
right But I feel like the only way to recover
it is to acknowledge it and probably keep them alive.
Through talking about it, because you know, obviously nothing is
(04:18):
going to bring them back, but hearing that she's not
alone in that trauma and that loss and sharing that
with other people is probably the only way, like clear
way out of the like absolute grief that you would
find yourself in.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
I think you're absolutely right, And I think.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
It takes a really strong person to be able to
pick themselves up and do that. I mean, I like,
because you know, I would say the cynic in me
would be like, well, now you've made a career off
of that, but like, I think it's really the only path,
you know, Yeah, I like sort of own it. Yeah,
but yeah, I mean it's I think about my humor.
I think is something that has carried me through most
(04:56):
of the hard times. And the older I've gotten, the
more I can recognize my strength. Whereas before humor was
my armor, and now humor is I use my humor too.
It's more of my like acknowledgment of something.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Okay, what do you mean though?
Speaker 2 (05:15):
I understand that when I would like I guess when
I was younger, like I'll just say, like, I've always
struggled with my weight, so do that, Like I would
make like the fat kid jokes about myself, And it
was really just like a piece of armor because if
I was saying it first, then no one would hurt
me by saying it about me. Right, But now it's
(05:38):
like my body, Like I'm not ashamed of my body anymore.
Like it is what it is. It's just a vessel
that I'm in, and it is the way it is
because of choices that I've made, you know. So it's
like I can't blame anyone but myself, and right now
I'm doing the work to change it, and I'm seeing
I'm seeing that, you know, action actually has positive consequences.
(05:58):
So now I feel like if I was making that joke,
it wouldn't necessarily be armor. It would be acknowledgment of
I am who I am and being okay with it.
And I have a license to do it because it
reflects me, you know, it's not just like a fat joke,
skinny person telling a fat joke. So I think it's
(06:19):
just a way to like frame how your sort of
existence and your stories have you gotten you through things?
And you know, every single thing that's ever happened to
me or things that I've done, has gotten me exactly
where I am today, and.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Oh yeah, I think right like I do think as
a society we maybe haven't done the best job of
talking about what life actually is. And all of us
are on an individual journey. I talk about this all
the time. Everyone's journey is different and everyone is going
to have hard times, Like there is not one person
(06:55):
who is it gets off the hook from going through stuff.
You know, like that is just going to happen, because
that's why we're all here, is to learn through these hardships.
Nobody learns through easy times like you just don't. And
so whatever your path is, there's going to be something
And I don't know that our society has really talked
(07:17):
enough about that, so it becomes normalized that times are
not always going to be good, and what you do
during the hard times is actually what ends up being
who you become. It's like who you become, it's where
you find your strength, that your superpower. And yeah, it
doesn't always have to be a negative. I am in
(07:37):
an endeagram four. We've talked about that. I am in
an astrology. Like I have a lot of water. I
can get really deep into feels and so I don't
know that I always find humor in any sort of
hardship Like that is why I feel really grateful for
my friends and support system, because I do have a
lot of people around me who, when I'm going through
(07:59):
something hard card will kind of not make light of it,
but almost in a way where there's a joke made
at some point in the process that actually pulls me
out of some of the deeper feelings. Like our friend
Mary is really good at this, you know, like she's
very grounded in hard moments, and she can listen and
have a lot of empathy for you, And then there's shit.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Just don't let people off the hook really easily.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
No, for sure, it's not like that.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Good about like making you recognize the part that you
play in the situation. Sure, Whereas when I know when
I'm going through a traumatic thing, I want everyone around
me to be like recognizing that it's happening to me.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Oh yeah, But I think I think that's important too,
And I've.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Learned that from her is to like kind of have
to look in the mirror and be like, what role
did I play in this?
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Of course, always all of that, you know, is really
important to me. I also think it's really important to
feel the hard feelings, so I never like what you
were talking about. I think is a great example of
when people use humor to a detriment when you're trying
to like mask the feelings or them up or not
go look at yourself and you're just gonna make jokes
about it or whatever. I don't think that's productive.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Oh, I don't think it's healthy.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
But for a person like me who could get stuck
in the low emotions because I'm very comfortable there, it
is good to have people who can sometimes make jokes.
Like I was actually thinking of this example, and it's
kind of the perfect narrative. But I've talked about this
before I was engaged. God, this was a decade ago now,
which is crazy, But I was engaged a long time
ago when I was thirty and I found out three
(09:26):
months before my wedding that he had cheated, and so
I had moved in with him, I'd sold all my stuff.
We had basically all of our wedding planned. And then
I found out about that, and I was like, no
matter what happens, if we can work through this or not,
Like I can't marry this man in three months, Like
I got to figure some shit out and that was
probably one of the darkest times of my life. I mean,
you knew me kind of then, not as well as
(09:48):
we do now, but I was very very dark and
it was very very hard because it also unlocked some
behavior patterns in me. It was the first time I
started doing like twelve step work for codependency and things
that like I had picked up in my childhood, seeing
how that had manifested in my own behaviors later in
(10:08):
life and in my relationships. That was the start of
that journey for me. So to say it was a
heavy time, it is like, you know, like just to
say the least, it was a heavy time. There wasn't
a lot of laughter probably, Like I just was, you know,
pretty serious all the time. And I remember being at
one of my friend's houses and it was her now
ex husband, but we were just you know, in the trenches,
(10:29):
like I go and I'm crying or whatever I was,
and she goes, You're never gonna believe what my husband's
first response was. And my ex, the one that acheated,
had gotten a tattoo like a couple I don't know,
months before we had caught everything off, and it looked
(10:49):
like me it was like this gypsy girl that looked
like me, and it had a banner on it that
was like kind of signifying my name. So it was
very much like a tattoo of me on his arm.
And and she literally said she told her husband that
I called the wedding off, And the only thing he
ever said about the whole situation was shouldn't have got
(11:10):
that tattoo.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
So we still say that, like to this day.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
I didn't know this. I'm hearing this story.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Did you not know the story?
Speaker 2 (11:20):
No?
Speaker 1 (11:20):
I literally brought it up to my friends last weekend
because we had a situation where another friend of ours
actually just canceled a wedding and they got matching tattoos.
I'm telling you, don't get tattoos like matching tattoos and
relationships never seem like a good idea.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
I didn't happen to get one. Oh no, we'll.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
See, And I'm not with that person.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Shouldn't have got that too.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Like we started dating in October and we got in
February for Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Well that's I mean, it's the Hallmark movie. I mean
that's an edgy one man.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Let's get matching tattoos.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
Well, you you'll get a tattoo at the drop of
a hat.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
I feel you're like at a party that's giving tattoos
and you're like, yeah, I'll get one. It's gonna be
on my body forever, but no big deal. I won't
put any more thought into it anyway. Do you have
any funny stories like that or is that just a meeting.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
I think the thing that has given me the most
sort of resilience and defined me the most is my sexuality.
And you know, it's not like I have to talk
about it on here, but you know, I grew up
in a really small town called birds Nest, Virginia. I
didn't see any examples of gay people around me, although
there was like a distant cousin of my mom's and
(12:44):
he was like a very stereotypical gay, you know, like yeah,
and no one really talked about it, but you know,
my mom would use words like special friend or whatever,
and it was just not as oh, it was very
and he just was very stereotypical. So it was like
I wanted I didn't want anyone to ever equate me
(13:07):
to that. So yeah, I worked really hard to not
match him. But growing up in a really small town
I had no examples. There was no one on television
that looked like anyone that I could relate to. Every
message that I was getting was that it was wrong,
but it was just something that I had a feeling of,
you know, and I had to hide it. But I
(13:28):
was also like, I look back, and like my sister
used to call me a homo all the time, and like,
you know, she was like just doing stuff that like
a big sister would do. And then when I came
out to her, she didn't believe me. I was I
was like twenty I was probably around twenty four to
twenty five, and she was the first person in my
(13:48):
family that I told and she was like, no, you're not.
And I was like, literally, you are the person that
has called me a homo my whole day, and I'm
telling you that I am, and you're not going to
believe it. You thought I was kidding.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
I mean, on one hand, that's pretty awesome. It meant
that I was doing a really good job of hiding
it because she's the person on earth that has known
me literally the closest and yeah most so you know,
there was a little bit of like Orri and her
not believing it. But then, of course she was incredibly
accepting and whatever.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
Y'all joke about that now that she didn't believe you.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yeah, because before I told her, I told her best
friend Pam, and Pam was like, tell me something. I
don't know basically, you know what I mean. Yeah, it's
like one of those things where it's like, how are
they not talking about it?
Speaker 1 (14:36):
I mean maybe they were more and it was just
the fact that you said it out loud was what
took her off guard. Yeah, because with your uncle, was
it your uncle you said that, Yeah, y'all just never
talked about it. Yeah, okay a distant cousin. Yeah, like
it wasn't ever addressed.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
So the fact that.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
You're now changing the playing field and you're like, no,
I'm going to say it right right, maybe that was
what her reaction was.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
I mean, it definitely threw her off. And then, you know,
my family has always been great about it, and I
mean it's not something we talk about a lot, but
like they've always been accepting of me since I've told them,
and they've met boyfriends of mine and stayed at my
house when I was living with a boyfriend, and it
was that doesn't remind me of a funny story I
(15:21):
when my parents stayed here.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
I love that you just tickled yourself so much about this.
He's literally just giggling to himself. None of us, me
or the listeners know why you're laughing.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
When my parents stayed here, it was before I went
home for Christmas. I think they came here for Thanksgiving
or so okay, And when I went home for Christmas,
my aunt was she ran the bank, but my aunt
ran ran the local bank and I had to go
into the bank for something and I was chatting with
her and she said, your mom told me that she
had a really nice visit and she just a DOORSIERR roommate.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
Oh no, well.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Yeah, it was really nice having them. And so I
went home and I was like, mom, you know, damn, well,
Machi doesn't think that Aaron is my roommate. Yeah, And
she was like, I mean, well he technically is. And
I was like, how many people share a bed with
their roommate. You know, it's looks like a dummy in
this situation? Is you like just say the words? And
(16:19):
she's like, well, I don't know what you want me
to say. And I was like, well, definitely don't call
in my roommate.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Yeah, I mean that is kind of like a sitcom episode.
I feel where the parents are from the South, it's
a place they don't talk about this, and then that
would be a scene for sure to the roommate and
she's like, well, it's not a lot.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
I mean, it's not a lie.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Right right, I mean, and it's it's truly not a lie.
But it was funny because like thinking about how it
plays into like what how does something like that make
me more resilient? Like it forced me to like talk
to my mom about that situation so in a humorous
way like yeah, a roommate, are you kidding? Yeah, there's
a little funny one for you.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
This is what I was, I guess trying to get
to with maybe my friends being able to say these things,
you know, when you get out of the emotional part,
Like I will go deep into the emotions, i will
feel them all, I'll go as dark as I need
to go, and then I do come out of it
like it's you know eventually or whatever. And these kind
of things help me kind of have perspective maybe and
(17:19):
get out of.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
It a little quicker.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
But they are the things sometimes that I look back
and can laugh almost about.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
It's kind of crazy.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Like a lot of breakups, I think this is a
common thing where you look back and you're like, oh
my god, why was I losing my shit over that guy?
Like he's a loser?
Speaker 3 (17:36):
What was I doing? Like the fact that.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
I was so upset that that relationship ended. I can
look back at many relationships now and go what was
I thinking? And just appreciate the fact though that they
were these pieces of my journey, and I know there's
no way that I could have the kind of relationship
that I have now if I hadn't gone to such
low places those relationships, or they hadn't been so explosive
(18:02):
or toxic or whatever you want to call them dysfunctional.
I had to meet all of those parts of myself
before I could meet this version of myself, you know,
the one that was like not going to tolerate certain things,
that could set better boundaries, who could find her voice?
And so they all serve their purpose and like also,
you don't.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Know what you're not going to tolerate until you're forced
to either tolerate it or not, you know, right, Actually,
when you're younger in relationships, like, I always wonder about
these people that marry their high school sweetheart and have
like a perfect little life. I'm like, how how did
they get it right?
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Because it's not about getting it right though, that was
just there, That's what their soul signed up for. That
was the journey, like that had an amazing boyfriend for them.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
I feel bad for them because I feel like you
shouldn't something that like they missed out on.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
I see what you're saying. But if they if that
was true for them, then they wouldn't have lived out
that journey Like that was what they wanted, That's what
their soul wanted. That is what works for them. They're
happy in that you might not have been. And like, like,
I had the most amazing high school boyfriend and we
dated through college and after too, So I dated him
for nine years. So obviously everyone thought we were going
(19:16):
to get married, but I had so much stuff that
I needed to work through. Like I can look back
at it now and say that, but at the time,
I was like, oh, we just grew apart and we
grew in different directions and we did. Obviously we were
kids when we started dating. But also he was an
amazing boyfriend. And so when I look at it now,
I'm like, what was happening with me that I wouldn't
(19:38):
just like I couldn't appreciate that.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
Yeah, but what you said is so true.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
I didn't realize how good I had it necessarily because
I didn't have the bad yet, right right?
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Yes, And also like again, I would never change any
of my journey at this point. Well, I told you
there's the one piece that I still am struggling.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
To work through. But but yeah, but I.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Think it's a journey, and it's like I know it's
all been here one for what I believe now in
like these karmaic circumstances that I had signed up for
this before I even came here, and the specific people
who have led to my biggest what idem crash and burns,
were just doing their job in my life to help
my soul evolve, you know, and that always helps me
(20:21):
have a way more peaceful mentality about it. And also
like I can look back at certain situations, like when
I talk about when I was on reality TV, I
was in a dysfunctional relationship. I had a bad work
situation happening with one of my clients that was also
very dysfunctional and then that stuff happened on TV, and
so my nervous system was like massively overloaded. Oh and
(20:44):
we went into COVID, so it was like and there
was this big, massive, you know, global pandemic, and so
my nervous somewhere I lost all my work. So my
nervous system was like so overloaded that any additional thing
just took me out. And the public humiliation piece of
like being misrepresented and talked about in ways that, you know,
(21:08):
stuff that I didn't ever do. It was crippling to
me and it's something I still struggle with because I
still am facing some of the repercussions of that, Like
being misrepresented publicly is I wouldn't wish it on my
worst enemy. It's one of the most frustrating experiences I've
ever had. And yeah, because no matter what I say,
(21:30):
there's some people who will always believe me to be
a different person than I am, even though they don't
know me. And that's, you know, that's a very hard
thing to go through. But I was thinking about I
had a conversation I think about a month ago, we
talked about this with Britney Piper. She was a somatic therapist,
and that was one of the things she told me
is that if you're in a situation where you can't
(21:52):
get your nervous system needs met properly and something traumatic happens,
it's even more traumatic. Whereas, like in another other scenario,
you might have been able to work through this in
a better way. If it happens where your nervous system
is not able to function properly, it's going to be
deeply impactful. And that's what I would say about that.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
Now.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
I think what I'm trying to say with all of
the humor stuff is I think it's important to feel
the feeling, and I do think it's important to have
people who love and support you, who can help you
find the lightness in it too. And one of our
good friends wrote me the sweetest note when all of
that was going on, and he literally broke down like
fifteen qualities about me that he loved. It was so nice.
(22:43):
It made me cry, obviously, but yeah, it was just
so sweet, and it showed up in my mail out
of the blue, and it was just like note after
note of like all these things that I had brought
to his life that you know, he was just trying
to tell me like, you're a great friend. Don't let
anyone tell you anything different. But the one was your
effortless ability to wreck homes because like I was accused
(23:06):
of having an affair I didn't have, and being I
was called a home wrecker like on Good Morning America
is wild. But he was like, your effortless ability obviously
because I didn't do it. So it was like, you
can just wreck a home without even trying?
Speaker 3 (23:20):
Girl, you you tal Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
So we still talk about that one too, Like he
wanted me to dress up as a construction site worker
that wrecked homes for Halloween.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
I was like, I can't.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
You're like on what's that show where they redo homes?
Speaker 3 (23:35):
Oh, like Homemakeover?
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Yeah, You're just like I can I just be the
person comes and does demo, right?
Speaker 1 (23:41):
I mean those kind of things that that actually are
those actually are the things that keep me going when
things feel like they're just never going to get better,
or like they get you to the place of Okay,
this is just a moment. This is a moment in
my life. This too shall pass. Not to sidestep feelings
or do any of that. I don't have to worry
about that, thankfully, so thank God for the people in
(24:04):
my life who can help lighten the load a little
bit and just find some humor in some of the
darkest times.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
And it's stuff that I still hold on to.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Obviously, this is like many years later, and those those
statements were the first thing that popped into my mind
whenever we decided to do this topic. So should we
tell the listeners what we did? I think, So, Okay,
you're gonna have to up your energy for this part.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
I will wake up. You should have had a coffee espresso.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
I might have to change my glasses because I can't
really read my computer with these.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Okay, oh okay, so he's putting on his readers because
this is how we are now.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
I can read, but I've got to do this like
lift my head up thing.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
And it's just that actually makes you look older. I
think to do that, Like, yeah, yeah, it's like old
people's stuff.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
Okay. So I told Chip that.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
I was like, wouldn't it be so funny if we
wrote like movie trailers about our lives with a humorous
tone to it, but about the hardships of our lives.
And of course, when I say this to a theater major,
he's like, yes, but like, this is gonna.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
Take me weeks.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
There is not enough time.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
But I didn't mean it that way, but he wanted
to go into this in depth. I'm like, what are
you going to write a novel about this?
Speaker 3 (25:15):
Like?
Speaker 1 (25:15):
And you would have I feel like yours would have
been pages and pages.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
It would have been so clever and.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
So many edits necessary, oh for sure.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
And that wasn't No, that was too much. So I
was like, no, I mean, like, put it into chat
ChiPT you know, my best friend, my therapist. I talked
to Chat all the time about everything, and I thought
it would be really funny to see what Chat said
about writing a movie trailer of our lives. So we
did it for both of us. And I'm going to
read yours, I think, and then you should read mine
(25:45):
and we should do dramatic voices. Do people know about
your dramatic readings that you used to do?
Speaker 2 (25:49):
I mean, I don't know if we've ever talked about
it here.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Sh It used to like with people who would take
themselves too seriously on Instia. He would this is like
back the beginning days of being an influencer.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
He would do it to me.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
No, you've done one of mine on the podcast. This
was years many years ago, but he would do these
dramatic readings of the captions, which was so funny to us,
like you would take something because someone was trying to be.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Really serious and serious. Yeah, but not.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
It wasn't always you weren't doing it about stuff that
was like heartfelt or them coming from like such a
vulnerable place. It was when people, including myself, were taking
ourselves too seriously. So then we would have dramatic readings
that our group of friends would like be together and
ship would just read us Instagram captions.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
And then there was one I'm not going to see
who it is, but there was one person that was like,
does it a lot? And yeah, I was often reading
their stuff. I mean there was one I used to
have one of their captions memorized that I could would
just recite.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
I don't know how because they would paragraph.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
I know they were so long, but one of them
I had pretty well memorized.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
It's like a monologue in theater. Okay, well do you
want to go first?
Speaker 3 (26:59):
There?
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Would you like me to go first? We're gonna read
them in very dramatic tones. This is if we had
a movie trailer about our lives.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
You can go first.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Okay, this is Chips, y'all, and chat said first of all,
just to set the tone, it says suspenseful, slightly dramatic.
Music starts maybe at a wind sound or thunderclap for flair,
which obviously we would with you for sure. You need
a thunderclub. Yeah, soh okay. Imagine it in a world
(27:28):
where good hair and commitment issues collide. He was just
a boy standing in front of the dating pool, wondering
why everyone was either emotionally unavailable or trying to get
married on the second date. By day, he was charming,
quick witted, and always down for spicy margarita. By night,
he was deep in his feelings, analyzing text messages like
(27:50):
they were ancient scrolls. They said he was too picky,
They said he should settle down, but he knew he
was just waiting for someone who liked memes, deep talks,
and didn't mind a man who casually cries at Super
Bowl commercials.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Veiled it this.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Fall, get Ready for eye rolls, plot twist and emotional growth,
served with a side of sarcasm and skincare, starring Chip
as the main character in his own Damn life.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
It says. The ending is Velvet Edge, the podcast where
therapy meets group Chat. I was like, okay, Chat, I
mean that's fired.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Like the only thing that it got wrong about me
was the spicy Mark's, Like, I don't drink those.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
You're just a tequila Okay, but it's like a tequila soda.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
I mean it almost close. Yeah, I mean, but everyone
I'm with is ordering spicy.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
Marks, right.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
The fact that Chat could nail that is so well crazy.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Well, get ready for.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
Your Oh Jesus, Okay, this one.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
Just says dramatic movie trailer voiceover music playing whatever that
means okay. In a war where southern charm meets emotional chaos,
one girl dared to wear her heart on her sleeve
and sometimes full face of clam to cover the tears.
From the outside, it looked like she had it all,
(29:17):
the career, the connections, the contour. But inside she was
navigating friendship, betrayal, public scandal, spiritual awakenings, and the occasional
breakdown in the Whole Foods parking lots. They thought she
was just a makeup artist, but really she was a
phoenix in false lashes, rising from the ashes of heartbreak.
(29:38):
Holding a green juice in one hand and a journal
in the other. This summer get Ready for Tears, Laughter,
self reinvention, and one very questionable situationship starring Kelly Henderson
as herself and a rotating cast of exes, Internet trolls,
and unexpected angels disguised as pilates instructors Coming soon to
(30:01):
a podcast near you, Vella's Edge. The movie based on
mostly true.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
Events Mostly true. Wait, what's the line about the false slashes?
So good?
Speaker 2 (30:13):
How they was a phoenix in false Slashes rising from
the ashes of heartbreak, holding a green juice in one
hand and the other.
Speaker 3 (30:22):
I'm crying. It's so good. That's so good. It is
so meat to a tea.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
And the fact that it combines like all the emotions
with the glamor in the whole.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
Note right, how does it know this about?
Speaker 2 (30:35):
I mean it's we put everything online.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
I guess, like god, it drinking a green juice like
crying into my cup, basically like that.
Speaker 3 (30:45):
It could not be more true.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
It's so good.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
The angels that were pilates and shocked disguised.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
Oh my god, that just made me laugh so hard.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
Spend a year and not written something.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Exact That's why I was like, what are you talking about.
We're writing this ourselves, We're putting.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
This shit into chat. So good God, that was so good.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
I am like, I'm trying to collect my thoughts because
it was so perfect. So basically, like moral of the
story is, if you guys want to laugh about any
hardships in your life, put them into chat GBT and
have it ride a movie trailer about it. It'll bring
it all into perspective of like, it ain't always that serious.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
It's not that serious.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Well, and I said to you before the podcast, I
never want any of the stuff that we talk about
on the Friday episodes to dumb down what we talked
about on the Wednesday episode. And while Lauren and I
did find I think we found a pretty like lighthearted ending,
some of that stuff was hard to talk about, you know,
it's addiction. I've always talked about the fact that I
come from an alcoholic family background, and so I really
(31:54):
related to a lot of the stuff. Thankfully, my parents
are alive and well, and I didn't go through what
she went through, but I just appreciate her telling the
story so much, and I never want to dumb down
that that was such a traumatic experience.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
I actually think she would love this though.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
She yeah, she loves to find We talked about ways
to find joy, you have to well hers is dancing.
That's what she dances on the sidelines. And now like
these videos on TikTok of her have gone viral of
her doing they call it the sideline shimmy. So I
really think she would appreciate the movie trailers. Maybe I'll
text them to her. But anyway, that was really fun.
(32:31):
I thought, actually we might need to do some more
of those via chat cheap tea.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
Like, I don't know if I can take chats like snarkiness.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
That I know it's kind of like, well, bitch, I
know he's all offended.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Standing by the dating pool. Like what I mean is
like a such a visual reference to like an actual pool.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
Wait it say, standing standing.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
The dating pool wondering why blah blah blah, and some
people to get married up for the second date.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
Well, right, but while someone's either emotionally.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
You know what I mean. It's so visual.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
It is, but it's also so what you've talked about
as far as dating, like that you either find someone
very emotionally unavailable or someone who wants to get married
on the second date, Like, could not be more true
of your story, which is why it's crazy and wild.
I loved the part about how you were analyzing text
messages like there were ancient scrolls.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
Oh my god, that was so fun.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Well, if you guys want to do that, please report
back to us with how your movie trailer went. And
if chat Shept nailed you like it just nailed Chip
And I'm glad we can laugh at ourselves. But I
think mine is the funniest thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
Actually, I mean she's it on YouTube.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
Yeah, I am still wipe and tears. If you do it,
please email us. I have to know about it. Even
if you can email us at the edge at velvet
edge dot com, you can also hit me up on Instagram.
I am at Velvet's Edge, Chip.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
I'm at Chip Doors. She's Chip d O R S.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
And as you guys go into the weekends and you're
living on the edge, I hope you always remember.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
To Bye casual. Bye
Good afternoons. We've behead Are you gonna be a going
to wake up for this podcast?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
I hope?
Speaker 3 (00:06):
So I have you been so tired?
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I don't know. You said something about the moon, So
I'm just going to blame on the moon, full moon
sucking my energy out.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
I love Chip and I were supposed to have a
meeting yesterday and he I'm sorry today, and he texted
me yesterday and was like, Okay, I'll see you on
the meeting of whatever time. And I thought, wait, huh.
I thought for a second, I had gotten my days wrong,
but you had gotten a days wrong. And we were
talking about you missed a doctor's appointment too. You were
just off and you go, oh, just mark your retrograde.
And I didn't have the heart to tell you it's over.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
So the retrograde's retrograde.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Yeah, it's just no.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I think you're just chipping like I was. There's really
nothing you can blame right now. I did give you
the moon. There's a full moon this week.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
So I feel like because yesterday it start my day
started with missing a doctor's pointment in the morning, and
it's it's always an indicator, like, yeah, those days are
like you should just crawl right back into f everything,
because it's when your day starts off shitty, it's just
gonna it's a domino effect. At least that's my experience generally.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Well, especially if it starts with being late or forgetting
an appointment like something like that kind of seems like
it just throws everything off For some reason.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
I didn't call to be like I'm running late. I
thought I would just show up late. Yeah, well we're
gonna have to reschedule for July.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
I was like, what.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
I ended up getting in today? So I got a
good bill of health?
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Well good, Well, I hope you can wake up. He's
been yawning since we got on this.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
We shall see.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
The weather's weird, so the clouds just rolled in. My
body is like, oh, it's sleepy.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Time, nap time. But it's not. It's not.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
I like our topic today. I think it's kind of fun.
But I was telling you I talked to Lauren Sissler,
who's a sideline reporter for ESPN. She does college football,
So you know, I'm always gonna be so excited to
talk to people like that. It was combining like both
of the best of both worlds to me because we
were talked about she wrote a book called Shatterproof, How
I overcame the shame of losing my parents to opioid addiction.
(02:12):
She lost both her parents in one day. Could you imagine?
I mean wild, wild, and so heartbreaking and devastating, obviously
very traumatic, and so we were talking about that experience
and then at the end we got to talk about
college football a little bit. So it was kind of
my dream come true conversation.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Yeah, I'm like, I don't know if I'll to that one.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Yeah, you're like a sportsball what.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Anyway, Lauren has a really cool story because now, you know,
I love people who are turning their pain into purpose.
And the fact that she's been able to find the
resilience and even just find her voice about this heart
of a topic. You know, it was so traumatic in
her life, and she's now doing public speaking, she's written
this book, and she's really trying to help other people
(02:57):
find tell and love their stories. And that was so
inspiring to me because I do find when I look
back at my life when traumatic things have happened, it
does shut you down a lot, and I think you
can often go into kind of like this freeze mode,
I start stop being able to speak even about the
topic for a while, and there just feels like there's
(03:18):
just like this heaviness to it. And it's maybe sometimes
I think, a human nature thing to kind of just
want to forget that happen, push it away, you know,
cover it up. And you and I were talking and
we're thinking about those moments in our lives now, and
I think this is probably because we've both done a
lot of work and like the more you grow out
(03:39):
of it or time passes and things get better again
in your life, the easier it is to look back
at those traumatic events and go, wow, I would never
be able to be where I am now without that,
and so you can almost have like a gratitude for it.
So it does shift a little bit. I know, you said,
that's happened a lot in your life, right.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Yeah, And I mean even thinking about her story too,
it's like I'm trying to put myself in her shoes,
and I don't like the me right now, Like with
that idea is like I had, you don't recover from that,
right But I feel like the only way to recover
it is to acknowledge it and probably keep them alive.
Through talking about it, because you know, obviously nothing is
(04:18):
going to bring them back, but hearing that she's not
alone in that trauma and that loss and sharing that
with other people is probably the only way, like clear
way out of the like absolute grief that you would
find yourself in.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
I think you're absolutely right, And I think.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
It takes a really strong person to be able to
pick themselves up and do that. I mean, I like,
because you know, I would say the cynic in me
would be like, well, now you've made a career off
of that, but like, I think it's really the only path,
you know, Yeah, I like sort of own it. Yeah,
but yeah, I mean it's I think about my humor.
I think is something that has carried me through most
(04:56):
of the hard times. And the older I've gotten, the
more I can recognize my strength. Whereas before humor was
my armor, and now humor is I use my humor too.
It's more of my like acknowledgment of something.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Okay, what do you mean though?
Speaker 2 (05:15):
I understand that when I would like I guess when
I was younger, like I'll just say, like, I've always
struggled with my weight, so do that, Like I would
make like the fat kid jokes about myself, And it
was really just like a piece of armor because if
I was saying it first, then no one would hurt
me by saying it about me. Right, But now it's
(05:38):
like my body, Like I'm not ashamed of my body anymore.
Like it is what it is. It's just a vessel
that I'm in, and it is the way it is
because of choices that I've made, you know. So it's
like I can't blame anyone but myself, and right now
I'm doing the work to change it, and I'm seeing
I'm seeing that, you know, action actually has positive consequences.
(05:58):
So now I feel like if I was making that joke,
it wouldn't necessarily be armor. It would be acknowledgment of
I am who I am and being okay with it.
And I have a license to do it because it
reflects me, you know, it's not just like a fat joke,
skinny person telling a fat joke. So I think it's
(06:19):
just a way to like frame how your sort of
existence and your stories have you gotten you through things?
And you know, every single thing that's ever happened to
me or things that I've done, has gotten me exactly
where I am today, and.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Oh yeah, I think right like I do think as
a society we maybe haven't done the best job of
talking about what life actually is. And all of us
are on an individual journey. I talk about this all
the time. Everyone's journey is different and everyone is going
to have hard times, Like there is not one person
(06:55):
who is it gets off the hook from going through stuff.
You know, like that is just going to happen, because
that's why we're all here, is to learn through these hardships.
Nobody learns through easy times like you just don't. And
so whatever your path is, there's going to be something
And I don't know that our society has really talked
(07:17):
enough about that, so it becomes normalized that times are
not always going to be good, and what you do
during the hard times is actually what ends up being
who you become. It's like who you become, it's where
you find your strength, that your superpower. And yeah, it
doesn't always have to be a negative. I am in
(07:37):
an endeagram four. We've talked about that. I am in
an astrology. Like I have a lot of water. I
can get really deep into feels and so I don't
know that I always find humor in any sort of
hardship Like that is why I feel really grateful for
my friends and support system, because I do have a
lot of people around me who, when I'm going through
(07:59):
something hard card will kind of not make light of it,
but almost in a way where there's a joke made
at some point in the process that actually pulls me
out of some of the deeper feelings. Like our friend
Mary is really good at this, you know, like she's
very grounded in hard moments, and she can listen and
have a lot of empathy for you, And then there's shit.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Just don't let people off the hook really easily.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
No, for sure, it's not like that.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Good about like making you recognize the part that you
play in the situation. Sure, Whereas when I know when
I'm going through a traumatic thing, I want everyone around
me to be like recognizing that it's happening to me.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Oh yeah, But I think I think that's important too,
And I've.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Learned that from her is to like kind of have
to look in the mirror and be like, what role
did I play in this?
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Of course, always all of that, you know, is really
important to me. I also think it's really important to
feel the hard feelings, so I never like what you
were talking about. I think is a great example of
when people use humor to a detriment when you're trying
to like mask the feelings or them up or not
go look at yourself and you're just gonna make jokes
about it or whatever. I don't think that's productive.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Oh, I don't think it's healthy.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
But for a person like me who could get stuck
in the low emotions because I'm very comfortable there, it
is good to have people who can sometimes make jokes.
Like I was actually thinking of this example, and it's
kind of the perfect narrative. But I've talked about this
before I was engaged. God, this was a decade ago now,
which is crazy, But I was engaged a long time
ago when I was thirty and I found out three
(09:26):
months before my wedding that he had cheated, and so
I had moved in with him, I'd sold all my stuff.
We had basically all of our wedding planned. And then
I found out about that, and I was like, no
matter what happens, if we can work through this or not,
Like I can't marry this man in three months, Like
I got to figure some shit out and that was
probably one of the darkest times of my life. I mean,
you knew me kind of then, not as well as
(09:48):
we do now, but I was very very dark and
it was very very hard because it also unlocked some
behavior patterns in me. It was the first time I
started doing like twelve step work for codependency and things
that like I had picked up in my childhood, seeing
how that had manifested in my own behaviors later in
(10:08):
life and in my relationships. That was the start of
that journey for me. So to say it was a
heavy time, it is like, you know, like just to
say the least, it was a heavy time. There wasn't
a lot of laughter probably, Like I just was, you know,
pretty serious all the time. And I remember being at
one of my friend's houses and it was her now
ex husband, but we were just you know, in the trenches,
(10:29):
like I go and I'm crying or whatever I was,
and she goes, You're never gonna believe what my husband's
first response was. And my ex, the one that acheated,
had gotten a tattoo like a couple I don't know,
months before we had caught everything off, and it looked
(10:49):
like me it was like this gypsy girl that looked
like me, and it had a banner on it that
was like kind of signifying my name. So it was
very much like a tattoo of me on his arm.
And and she literally said she told her husband that
I called the wedding off, And the only thing he
ever said about the whole situation was shouldn't have got
(11:10):
that tattoo.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
So we still say that, like to this day.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
I didn't know this. I'm hearing this story.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Did you not know the story?
Speaker 2 (11:20):
No?
Speaker 1 (11:20):
I literally brought it up to my friends last weekend
because we had a situation where another friend of ours
actually just canceled a wedding and they got matching tattoos.
I'm telling you, don't get tattoos like matching tattoos and
relationships never seem like a good idea.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
I didn't happen to get one. Oh no, we'll.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
See, And I'm not with that person.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Shouldn't have got that too.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Like we started dating in October and we got in
February for Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Well that's I mean, it's the Hallmark movie. I mean
that's an edgy one man.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Let's get matching tattoos.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
Well, you you'll get a tattoo at the drop of
a hat.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
I feel you're like at a party that's giving tattoos
and you're like, yeah, I'll get one. It's gonna be
on my body forever, but no big deal. I won't
put any more thought into it anyway. Do you have
any funny stories like that or is that just a meeting.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
I think the thing that has given me the most
sort of resilience and defined me the most is my sexuality.
And you know, it's not like I have to talk
about it on here, but you know, I grew up
in a really small town called birds Nest, Virginia. I
didn't see any examples of gay people around me, although
there was like a distant cousin of my mom's and
(12:44):
he was like a very stereotypical gay, you know, like yeah,
and no one really talked about it, but you know,
my mom would use words like special friend or whatever,
and it was just not as oh, it was very
and he just was very stereotypical. So it was like
I wanted I didn't want anyone to ever equate me
(13:07):
to that. So yeah, I worked really hard to not
match him. But growing up in a really small town
I had no examples. There was no one on television
that looked like anyone that I could relate to. Every
message that I was getting was that it was wrong,
but it was just something that I had a feeling of,
you know, and I had to hide it. But I
(13:28):
was also like, I look back, and like my sister
used to call me a homo all the time, and like,
you know, she was like just doing stuff that like
a big sister would do. And then when I came
out to her, she didn't believe me. I was I
was like twenty I was probably around twenty four to
twenty five, and she was the first person in my
(13:48):
family that I told and she was like, no, you're not.
And I was like, literally, you are the person that
has called me a homo my whole day, and I'm
telling you that I am, and you're not going to
believe it. You thought I was kidding.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
I mean, on one hand, that's pretty awesome. It meant
that I was doing a really good job of hiding
it because she's the person on earth that has known
me literally the closest and yeah most so you know,
there was a little bit of like Orri and her
not believing it. But then, of course she was incredibly
accepting and whatever.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
Y'all joke about that now that she didn't believe you.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yeah, because before I told her, I told her best
friend Pam, and Pam was like, tell me something. I
don't know basically, you know what I mean. Yeah, it's
like one of those things where it's like, how are
they not talking about it?
Speaker 1 (14:36):
I mean maybe they were more and it was just
the fact that you said it out loud was what
took her off guard. Yeah, because with your uncle, was
it your uncle you said that, Yeah, y'all just never
talked about it. Yeah, okay a distant cousin. Yeah, like
it wasn't ever addressed.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
So the fact that.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
You're now changing the playing field and you're like, no,
I'm going to say it right right, maybe that was
what her reaction was.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
I mean, it definitely threw her off. And then, you know,
my family has always been great about it, and I
mean it's not something we talk about a lot, but
like they've always been accepting of me since I've told them,
and they've met boyfriends of mine and stayed at my
house when I was living with a boyfriend, and it
was that doesn't remind me of a funny story I
(15:21):
when my parents stayed here.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
I love that you just tickled yourself so much about this.
He's literally just giggling to himself. None of us, me
or the listeners know why you're laughing.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
When my parents stayed here, it was before I went
home for Christmas. I think they came here for Thanksgiving
or so okay, And when I went home for Christmas,
my aunt was she ran the bank, but my aunt
ran ran the local bank and I had to go
into the bank for something and I was chatting with
her and she said, your mom told me that she
had a really nice visit and she just a DOORSIERR roommate.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
Oh no, well.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Yeah, it was really nice having them. And so I
went home and I was like, mom, you know, damn, well,
Machi doesn't think that Aaron is my roommate. Yeah, And
she was like, I mean, well he technically is. And
I was like, how many people share a bed with
their roommate. You know, it's looks like a dummy in
this situation? Is you like just say the words? And
(16:19):
she's like, well, I don't know what you want me
to say. And I was like, well, definitely don't call
in my roommate.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Yeah, I mean that is kind of like a sitcom episode.
I feel where the parents are from the South, it's
a place they don't talk about this, and then that
would be a scene for sure to the roommate and
she's like, well, it's not a lot.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
I mean, it's not a lie.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Right right, I mean, and it's it's truly not a lie.
But it was funny because like thinking about how it
plays into like what how does something like that make
me more resilient? Like it forced me to like talk
to my mom about that situation so in a humorous
way like yeah, a roommate, are you kidding? Yeah, there's
a little funny one for you.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
This is what I was, I guess trying to get
to with maybe my friends being able to say these things,
you know, when you get out of the emotional part,
Like I will go deep into the emotions, i will
feel them all, I'll go as dark as I need
to go, and then I do come out of it
like it's you know eventually or whatever. And these kind
of things help me kind of have perspective maybe and
(17:19):
get out of.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
It a little quicker.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
But they are the things sometimes that I look back
and can laugh almost about.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
It's kind of crazy.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Like a lot of breakups, I think this is a
common thing where you look back and you're like, oh
my god, why was I losing my shit over that guy?
Like he's a loser?
Speaker 3 (17:36):
What was I doing? Like the fact that.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
I was so upset that that relationship ended. I can
look back at many relationships now and go what was
I thinking? And just appreciate the fact though that they
were these pieces of my journey, and I know there's
no way that I could have the kind of relationship
that I have now if I hadn't gone to such
low places those relationships, or they hadn't been so explosive
(18:02):
or toxic or whatever you want to call them dysfunctional.
I had to meet all of those parts of myself
before I could meet this version of myself, you know,
the one that was like not going to tolerate certain things,
that could set better boundaries, who could find her voice?
And so they all serve their purpose and like also,
you don't.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Know what you're not going to tolerate until you're forced
to either tolerate it or not, you know, right, Actually,
when you're younger in relationships, like, I always wonder about
these people that marry their high school sweetheart and have
like a perfect little life. I'm like, how how did
they get it right?
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Because it's not about getting it right though, that was
just there, That's what their soul signed up for. That
was the journey, like that had an amazing boyfriend for them.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
I feel bad for them because I feel like you
shouldn't something that like they missed out on.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
I see what you're saying. But if they if that
was true for them, then they wouldn't have lived out
that journey Like that was what they wanted, That's what
their soul wanted. That is what works for them. They're
happy in that you might not have been. And like, like,
I had the most amazing high school boyfriend and we
dated through college and after too, So I dated him
for nine years. So obviously everyone thought we were going
(19:16):
to get married, but I had so much stuff that
I needed to work through. Like I can look back
at it now and say that, but at the time,
I was like, oh, we just grew apart and we
grew in different directions and we did. Obviously we were
kids when we started dating. But also he was an
amazing boyfriend. And so when I look at it now,
I'm like, what was happening with me that I wouldn't
(19:38):
just like I couldn't appreciate that.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
Yeah, but what you said is so true.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
I didn't realize how good I had it necessarily because
I didn't have the bad yet, right right?
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Yes, And also like again, I would never change any
of my journey at this point. Well, I told you
there's the one piece that I still am struggling.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
To work through. But but yeah, but I.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Think it's a journey, and it's like I know it's
all been here one for what I believe now in
like these karmaic circumstances that I had signed up for
this before I even came here, and the specific people
who have led to my biggest what idem crash and burns,
were just doing their job in my life to help
my soul evolve, you know, and that always helps me
(20:21):
have a way more peaceful mentality about it. And also
like I can look back at certain situations, like when
I talk about when I was on reality TV, I
was in a dysfunctional relationship. I had a bad work
situation happening with one of my clients that was also
very dysfunctional and then that stuff happened on TV, and
so my nervous system was like massively overloaded. Oh and
(20:44):
we went into COVID, so it was like and there
was this big, massive, you know, global pandemic, and so
my nervous somewhere I lost all my work. So my
nervous system was like so overloaded that any additional thing
just took me out. And the public humiliation piece of
like being misrepresented and talked about in ways that, you know,
(21:08):
stuff that I didn't ever do. It was crippling to
me and it's something I still struggle with because I
still am facing some of the repercussions of that, Like
being misrepresented publicly is I wouldn't wish it on my
worst enemy. It's one of the most frustrating experiences I've
ever had. And yeah, because no matter what I say,
(21:30):
there's some people who will always believe me to be
a different person than I am, even though they don't
know me. And that's, you know, that's a very hard
thing to go through. But I was thinking about I
had a conversation I think about a month ago, we
talked about this with Britney Piper. She was a somatic therapist,
and that was one of the things she told me
is that if you're in a situation where you can't
(21:52):
get your nervous system needs met properly and something traumatic happens,
it's even more traumatic. Whereas, like in another other scenario,
you might have been able to work through this in
a better way. If it happens where your nervous system
is not able to function properly, it's going to be
deeply impactful. And that's what I would say about that.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
Now.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
I think what I'm trying to say with all of
the humor stuff is I think it's important to feel
the feeling, and I do think it's important to have
people who love and support you, who can help you
find the lightness in it too. And one of our
good friends wrote me the sweetest note when all of
that was going on, and he literally broke down like
fifteen qualities about me that he loved. It was so nice.
(22:43):
It made me cry, obviously, but yeah, it was just
so sweet, and it showed up in my mail out
of the blue, and it was just like note after
note of like all these things that I had brought
to his life that you know, he was just trying
to tell me like, you're a great friend. Don't let
anyone tell you anything different. But the one was your
effortless ability to wreck homes because like I was accused
(23:06):
of having an affair I didn't have, and being I
was called a home wrecker like on Good Morning America
is wild. But he was like, your effortless ability obviously
because I didn't do it. So it was like, you
can just wreck a home without even trying?
Speaker 3 (23:20):
Girl, you you tal Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
So we still talk about that one too, Like he
wanted me to dress up as a construction site worker
that wrecked homes for Halloween.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
I was like, I can't.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
You're like on what's that show where they redo homes?
Speaker 3 (23:35):
Oh, like Homemakeover?
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Yeah, You're just like I can I just be the
person comes and does demo, right?
Speaker 1 (23:41):
I mean those kind of things that that actually are
those actually are the things that keep me going when
things feel like they're just never going to get better,
or like they get you to the place of Okay,
this is just a moment. This is a moment in
my life. This too shall pass. Not to sidestep feelings
or do any of that. I don't have to worry
about that, thankfully, so thank God for the people in
(24:04):
my life who can help lighten the load a little
bit and just find some humor in some of the
darkest times.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
And it's stuff that I still hold on to.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Obviously, this is like many years later, and those those
statements were the first thing that popped into my mind
whenever we decided to do this topic. So should we
tell the listeners what we did? I think, So, Okay,
you're gonna have to up your energy for this part.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
I will wake up. You should have had a coffee espresso.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
I might have to change my glasses because I can't
really read my computer with these.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Okay, oh okay, so he's putting on his readers because
this is how we are now.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
I can read, but I've got to do this like
lift my head up thing.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
And it's just that actually makes you look older. I
think to do that, Like, yeah, yeah, it's like old
people's stuff.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
Okay. So I told Chip that.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
I was like, wouldn't it be so funny if we
wrote like movie trailers about our lives with a humorous
tone to it, but about the hardships of our lives.
And of course, when I say this to a theater major,
he's like, yes, but like, this is gonna.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
Take me weeks.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
There is not enough time.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
But I didn't mean it that way, but he wanted
to go into this in depth. I'm like, what are
you going to write a novel about this?
Speaker 3 (25:15):
Like?
Speaker 1 (25:15):
And you would have I feel like yours would have
been pages and pages.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
It would have been so clever and.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
So many edits necessary, oh for sure.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
And that wasn't No, that was too much. So I
was like, no, I mean, like, put it into chat
ChiPT you know, my best friend, my therapist. I talked
to Chat all the time about everything, and I thought
it would be really funny to see what Chat said
about writing a movie trailer of our lives. So we
did it for both of us. And I'm going to
read yours, I think, and then you should read mine
(25:45):
and we should do dramatic voices. Do people know about
your dramatic readings that you used to do?
Speaker 2 (25:49):
I mean, I don't know if we've ever talked about
it here.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Sh It used to like with people who would take
themselves too seriously on Instia. He would this is like
back the beginning days of being an influencer.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
He would do it to me.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
No, you've done one of mine on the podcast. This
was years many years ago, but he would do these
dramatic readings of the captions, which was so funny to us,
like you would take something because someone was trying to be.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Really serious and serious. Yeah, but not.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
It wasn't always you weren't doing it about stuff that
was like heartfelt or them coming from like such a
vulnerable place. It was when people, including myself, were taking
ourselves too seriously. So then we would have dramatic readings
that our group of friends would like be together and
ship would just read us Instagram captions.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
And then there was one I'm not going to see
who it is, but there was one person that was like,
does it a lot? And yeah, I was often reading
their stuff. I mean there was one I used to
have one of their captions memorized that I could would
just recite.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
I don't know how because they would paragraph.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
I know they were so long, but one of them
I had pretty well memorized.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
It's like a monologue in theater. Okay, well do you
want to go first?
Speaker 3 (26:59):
There?
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Would you like me to go first? We're gonna read
them in very dramatic tones. This is if we had
a movie trailer about our lives.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
You can go first.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Okay, this is Chips, y'all, and chat said first of all,
just to set the tone, it says suspenseful, slightly dramatic.
Music starts maybe at a wind sound or thunderclap for flair,
which obviously we would with you for sure. You need
a thunderclub. Yeah, soh okay. Imagine it in a world
(27:28):
where good hair and commitment issues collide. He was just
a boy standing in front of the dating pool, wondering
why everyone was either emotionally unavailable or trying to get
married on the second date. By day, he was charming,
quick witted, and always down for spicy margarita. By night,
he was deep in his feelings, analyzing text messages like
(27:50):
they were ancient scrolls. They said he was too picky,
They said he should settle down, but he knew he
was just waiting for someone who liked memes, deep talks,
and didn't mind a man who casually cries at Super
Bowl commercials.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Veiled it this.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Fall, get Ready for eye rolls, plot twist and emotional growth,
served with a side of sarcasm and skincare, starring Chip
as the main character in his own Damn life.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
It says. The ending is Velvet Edge, the podcast where
therapy meets group Chat. I was like, okay, Chat, I
mean that's fired.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Like the only thing that it got wrong about me
was the spicy Mark's, Like, I don't drink those.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
You're just a tequila Okay, but it's like a tequila soda.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
I mean it almost close. Yeah, I mean, but everyone
I'm with is ordering spicy.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
Marks, right.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
The fact that Chat could nail that is so well crazy.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Well, get ready for.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
Your Oh Jesus, Okay, this one.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
Just says dramatic movie trailer voiceover music playing whatever that
means okay. In a war where southern charm meets emotional chaos,
one girl dared to wear her heart on her sleeve
and sometimes full face of clam to cover the tears.
From the outside, it looked like she had it all,
(29:17):
the career, the connections, the contour. But inside she was
navigating friendship, betrayal, public scandal, spiritual awakenings, and the occasional
breakdown in the Whole Foods parking lots. They thought she
was just a makeup artist, but really she was a
phoenix in false lashes, rising from the ashes of heartbreak.
(29:38):
Holding a green juice in one hand and a journal
in the other. This summer get Ready for Tears, Laughter,
self reinvention, and one very questionable situationship starring Kelly Henderson
as herself and a rotating cast of exes, Internet trolls,
and unexpected angels disguised as pilates instructors Coming soon to
(30:01):
a podcast near you, Vella's Edge. The movie based on
mostly true.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
Events Mostly true. Wait, what's the line about the false slashes?
So good?
Speaker 2 (30:13):
How they was a phoenix in false Slashes rising from
the ashes of heartbreak, holding a green juice in one
hand and the other.
Speaker 3 (30:22):
I'm crying. It's so good. That's so good. It is
so meat to a tea.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
And the fact that it combines like all the emotions
with the glamor in the whole.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
Note right, how does it know this about?
Speaker 2 (30:35):
I mean it's we put everything online.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
I guess, like god, it drinking a green juice like
crying into my cup, basically like that.
Speaker 3 (30:45):
It could not be more true.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
It's so good.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
The angels that were pilates and shocked disguised.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
Oh my god, that just made me laugh so hard.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
Spend a year and not written something.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Exact That's why I was like, what are you talking about.
We're writing this ourselves, We're putting.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
This shit into chat. So good God, that was so good.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
I am like, I'm trying to collect my thoughts because
it was so perfect. So basically, like moral of the
story is, if you guys want to laugh about any
hardships in your life, put them into chat GBT and
have it ride a movie trailer about it. It'll bring
it all into perspective of like, it ain't always that serious.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
It's not that serious.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Well, and I said to you before the podcast, I
never want any of the stuff that we talk about
on the Friday episodes to dumb down what we talked
about on the Wednesday episode. And while Lauren and I
did find I think we found a pretty like lighthearted ending,
some of that stuff was hard to talk about, you know,
it's addiction. I've always talked about the fact that I
come from an alcoholic family background, and so I really
(31:54):
related to a lot of the stuff. Thankfully, my parents
are alive and well, and I didn't go through what
she went through, but I just appreciate her telling the
story so much, and I never want to dumb down
that that was such a traumatic experience.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
I actually think she would love this though.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
She yeah, she loves to find We talked about ways
to find joy, you have to well hers is dancing.
That's what she dances on the sidelines. And now like
these videos on TikTok of her have gone viral of
her doing they call it the sideline shimmy. So I
really think she would appreciate the movie trailers. Maybe I'll
text them to her. But anyway, that was really fun.
(32:31):
I thought, actually we might need to do some more
of those via chat cheap tea.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
Like, I don't know if I can take chats like snarkiness.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
That I know it's kind of like, well, bitch, I
know he's all offended.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Standing by the dating pool. Like what I mean is
like a such a visual reference to like an actual pool.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
Wait it say, standing standing.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
The dating pool wondering why blah blah blah, and some
people to get married up for the second date.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
Well, right, but while someone's either emotionally.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
You know what I mean. It's so visual.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
It is, but it's also so what you've talked about
as far as dating, like that you either find someone
very emotionally unavailable or someone who wants to get married
on the second date, Like, could not be more true
of your story, which is why it's crazy and wild.
I loved the part about how you were analyzing text
messages like there were ancient scrolls.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
Oh my god, that was so fun.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Well, if you guys want to do that, please report
back to us with how your movie trailer went. And
if chat Shept nailed you like it just nailed Chip
And I'm glad we can laugh at ourselves. But I
think mine is the funniest thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
Actually, I mean she's it on YouTube.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
Yeah, I am still wipe and tears. If you do it,
please email us. I have to know about it. Even
if you can email us at the edge at velvet
edge dot com, you can also hit me up on Instagram.
I am at Velvet's Edge, Chip.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
I'm at Chip Doors. She's Chip d O R S.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
And as you guys go into the weekends and you're
living on the edge, I hope you always remember.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
To Bye casual. Bye
Host
Kelly Henderson
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