In this episode, Kelly breaks down the deeper meaning of Taurus energy for Chip—and how it’s showing up in real life. From the spiritual importance of rest to reconnecting with pleasure, presence, and what actually makes us feel good, this is a light but real conversation about why slowing down isn’t lazy—it’s powerful.
Kelly and Chip share their personal struggles with giving themselves permission to rest, how they’re learning to ground in the chaos, and some tangible tools they’re using to reconnect with their bodies, their joy, and the present moment. If you’ve been feeling tired, disconnected, or stuck in hustle mode, this is your permission slip to soften.
Because rest is productive, beauty is healing, and slowing down is sexy.
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Email us: theedge@velvetsedge.com
HOSTS:
Kelly Henderson // @velvetsedge // velvetsedge.com
Chip Dorsch // @chipdorsch
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hello, Chip, Hello, well, welcome back to Nashville.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Do you want to tell the listeners where you were
this weekend?
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I was in Key West. I don't just go right
ahead and let y'all know I was Max and a relaxing.
Actually there was very little relaxing going on.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
I was chilling out, max and relaxed. Wait, how does
it go? Chilling out Max and relaxing? Not cool? Shooting
some beoble outside of school? Name that tune?
Speaker 2 (00:29):
I don't know that one. It sounds like it's like
a something from a new edition or something.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
It's the fresh Prince bel Air very game song. Okay,
go ahead. I talked at REESI all of what basically
you were in Key West?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I was in Key West, and I said I was
max and relaxing, but I really was not relaxing. I
was down there for a songwriter festival with the band
Lula and hit a bunch of stuff and running around
and lots of people to hang out with and all
of the things. And we did a lot of karaoke,
which is always on the docket when you're in Key West.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
What's your song?
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Oh my god? There were so many a couple of
years ago. I was down there with Ellen. We found
this like it was a former stroke club because you
can tell by the way the stage is designed. There's
like there's a ledge around the stage and they've got
chairs up against it, you know, and no other karaoke
place has that. Yeah, and it's like in the back
room of another bar. We found it. It was like
dead and so we just like took over the place
(01:26):
the first night, and then we went back the next place,
and like word had gotten out and just got bigger
and bigger every night. So I took the Bandludua of
this year, and I was like, this is the place.
And on Thursday night it was the same sort of thing.
It was kind of dead, and then sorry not I
wasn't there Thursday night. Friday night it was kind of dead,
and then Saturday it was packed again. But the DJ newest,
so like we got would get priority and we got
(01:47):
to sing a lot, but we did don't dream it's over.
I did what's up buy four non buns? You know.
The thing is like there were a lot of good
singers in town, so you would, you know, my go
to his friends in love places, but someone had already
signed up for it. So it's.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
That's such a that's a good karaoke one.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
That's a really good one because the whole room joins in.
So I got some new ideas.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Foray some.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
That's like someone did Addicted to Love by.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Robert Oh, that's a good one.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
That's a really good carry.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
And the words are not like super close together fast
like those are always the really hard ones. I've got
to say. The last time that I was at a
karaoke bar with you, I said to one of our friends, like,
I feel like this is where ship really lives out
his theater degree.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
I mean, I also like was thinking about you know,
whenever I travel, the first thing I do is look
at properly, you know, I get on Zilla to be
like what's for sale? How much the shit costs here?
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Uh huh?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
I Q West is not cheap, but you know you
fantasize about like where you might live later in life.
And I was like, maybe move here in open karaoke bar,
like just it's like by the water and there you go,
or just work at that one. Yeah, so interesting.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Always well you seem like you're halfway here, halfway asleep,
or somewhere else.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
In Yeah, I'm a little foggy, but I'm here.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Yeah, well we'll see how this convo goes. Is because
I have been running on fumes. Work has been so
busy lately, and I feel like every time I say that,
I'm like, don't jinx yourself. You know, that's the like
the life of a freelancer, is it? When it's coming in,
you just want to say yes to everything, and then
you're you get in and you're like, oh my god,
I can't even breathe. There's so much going on. But
(03:31):
I'm really grateful. But it's been really fun. But yeah,
just kind of running on fumes, which kind of leads
into our topic, which is really interesting because had we
not come up with talking about this, or have been
faced with talking about this, I think that I would
probably fall susceptible to doing all of the things that
are anti this at this moment because I am so busy,
(03:52):
and I think you're kind of the same way, just
travel and all the things. And so we were going
to talk about tourist energy, which is is what if
you guys listen to the podcast on Wednesday with Marv
This is the month of Taurists. I'm a tourist rising,
so I feel it even bigger and I'm like happy
about it. But Taurus is this very grounded energy, and
it's like all about comfort and pleasure and sensuality and
(04:18):
enjoying the nicer or finer things in life, whatever that
means to you, Like it doesn't have to be actually
that you're some billionaire that gets to go do all
these like lavish, luxurious things. It's whatever luxury feels like
to you. And that's what the energy is this month.
And we're really supposed to lean into that, which means
(04:38):
slowing down a little bit, which is very much.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Like this summer. Not easy to do.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Yeah, no, it's not easy to do this time of year.
But it's also just if you have kids, this is
always a hectic time of year, you know, the wrap
up of schools. So it's really interesting that the universe
plants this at this time of year. Really kind of
invites us to just try to enjoy life and really
like receive almost like look at the beautiful things around us,
(05:09):
look at what makes us happy, find the pleasure, and
just lean in. And you know, we were talking about this.
I was telling you what I talked about with Marv
and just sort of what the energy is inviting, and
we were both.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Like, ooh, I think the universe forgot about me this month.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Well, I don't know if the universe forgot. I think
I forgot. Like it's more like your choice to either
embrace the energy or fight it. And you had such
an interesting point about what happens when you fight it though,
And so since we know this is what the universe
is inviting us to do, I thought that was a
really good place to start. If you've had experiences, have
(05:47):
you had experiences where you really try to avoid what
you're being told to do as far like energetically from
the universe, I mean, I mean my whole life basically, yeah, everything.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
I mean it's also fun, like this is a time
too where like you know, spring has sprung, Like you
want to be out and about and getting cocktails with
your friends and you don't want to slow down. It's
like the wind has broken. You want to be out
of your house. You're doing things. But it is a
self sort of fulfilling prophecy. The more you ignore it,
the more tired you get, the more overwhelmed you become.
(06:19):
And you know, health is wealth, and if you ignore it,
that's when you end up sick. At the beginning of
the summer, you're overwhelmed, you are in bad moods, you're
just completely burnt out. And you know, with the summer
approaching too. I don't know that this is necessarily the
case for everyone, but in our business, the summer touring
(06:42):
thing picks up, which becomes hectic because it kind of
sucks away your weekends. But people kind of dissipate a
little bit in our business too, and it's harder to
reach them and they're doing you know, they're at their
beach houses or whatever.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
So I feel like, I problem. I know they're at
their beach house.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
The beach houses. Yeah, I mean, that's not everyone in
our business.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
But it's not us.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
It's not me. I'll be right here going to Wave Country.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
The people you need answers from are at their beaches.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
And so it just seems like, you know, summer Fridays
come about, so it's like there is there's like this
weird relaxation slash you know, hecticness that bumps up against
each other. So I guess maybe you know, for me
in our business, like I can look at this like
lead up when everyone's here, is that okay? Relax for
a minute so that you have the.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Interesting you're saying through. All of our listeners obviously come
from different walks of life, and so I'm sure everyone
has their version of right summer craziness. Like, again, we're
not parents, but if you have kids, sometimes summer can
be more stressful than when they're in school, depending on
you know, whatever your kid's energy or if you have
(07:54):
work to get done or whatever. Because it's like they're
not in school.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
It's almost like someone to watch them.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Right, So if you are a working parent, that could
be tricky, like what do you do with your kids
all summer? And then also they're off more, you have
to keep them entertained. Like there's just all these different
factors for summer. But speaking of the energy right now,
I do feel like what you said about if you
fight it, it can really like come back to bite
(08:22):
you in the ass kind of thing. And that's typically
how I've lived my entire life, like I will go go, go,
go go until I get sick and then I still
have to stop. Or I go go, go, go go
until I hit such burnout that I want to stop.
You know, It's like I don't necessarily have the best
on an off switch, and my body is also one
that's like pretty sensitive because I'm absorbing so much energy
(08:43):
all the time. And so it's just like this battle
I've been in my whole entire life, and I really
am trying to be intentional to do better at balance.
So I was grateful for this reminder of Taurus season
and just the energy that Taurus is and knowing specifically
that I'm a tourist rising, so I'm supposed to lean
into that even more so than others as like my
(09:06):
growth pattern goes. And that's so that's what I'm doing,
Like I'm thinking through right now. Okay, you're so busy
with work. So then on the flip side, like not
letting myself only work, which would be really easy for
me to do right now, just to work, work, work, work, work,
and work until like wake up, work, go until I
go to sleep, work, you know. And I know where
that's led me in the past, and so I'm really
(09:27):
trying not to do that while still doing well at
my job, making my clients happy and taking care of myself.
It's like, you know, such a balancing as.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Just a few jobs right there.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Yeah, So is there a part of tourist energy that
you feel like you naturally vibe with. Are you like
me where it's more of a battle.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
It's definitely more of a battle for me because when
I rest, I feel lazy. Rest is so important for
a million reasons. But you're much better at your job
if you've got a clear head. You know, you appreciate
your time, your friend and the people around you if
you miss them a little bit too. So spending time
with yourself is really important. And in the same way
(10:06):
that you know you miss your friends if you're not
seeing them, if you're not tuned into yourself, then you're
missing yourself. And then you feel when you're pouring it
all into everyone else's cup, you feel like you've done
nothing for yourself and it makes you feel alone and
all of those things y. But I mean, the thing
that I struggle with the most is the guilt of rest.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Isn't that wild that we have.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I think it's a very uniquely American cultural thing because
we're just told to work our asses off, and you know,
in other cultures they take months. In France, they take
like the country basically shuts down for the month of
August and everyone gets a real break and we just
don't have that in our society. So I think it's
(10:47):
a learned behavior for sure. You know.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Yeah, it's so interesting to think about, and I wonder
if it's gotten worse. We always talk about social media,
but like with social media and everyone posting constantly, it
makes it even harder to feel like you're not letting
some balls drop if you just take a minute, Like
if you take a beat and you're not working or
you're not striving or driving or doing all the things,
(11:11):
everyone else is going to outrun you and they're gonna
win the race or whatever. Like that's the mentality that
it feels like that, like it's almost panic inducing. To
tie it back to astrology, it's really interesting though, because
if you know anything about your personal chart, like I
have a south note in Capricorn, so I knew how
to work like that. I came to this lifetime really
(11:31):
knowing how to work, and I've almost had to like
unlearn certain disciplines because I think when you have certain
parts of your chart tied, and I don't know what
it would be for you guys, but there could be
a much many different placements that could mean this. But
if they're tied, to these like really driven energies. It
can feel like what you described, like I'll have to
(11:52):
go look at your chart ship and see if there's
anything in there. But it's almost like we have this
knowing in us of how to do it, and maybe
we even came into this lifetime to unlearn that a
little bit and like have a better balance. Like I
know I did for sure in this lifetime. But what
I know how to do innately easily is the work.
(12:12):
So the relaxing is harder for me to learn how
to do, which sounds crazy, Like when I say it
out loud, I'm like, what would be wrong with enjoying
your life and relaxing? And usually I can now, but
like if I feel like there's stuff I should be doing,
and I think that's probably the case for most people,
there's always a list of stuff to be done. As
(12:32):
an adult, there's just always.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
I'm sitting in front of like six sheets of to
do list that I'm trying to combine down. And yes,
well you know it's funny. I like you you brought
up the social media piece, and obviously that is a
huge distraction and it's a huge sort of it has
a lot of influence on how we feel in general.
But even when I'm relaxing, I've got my fucking phone
in my hand and I'm looking at all the stuff
(12:56):
that other people are getting done and it causes a
stress thing. So it's like, even relaxing, I'm looking at
all the stuff that other people are getting done and
it causes a stress thing. So it's like I'm not
even relaxing.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Right, And so it's almost like you have to set
boundaries with yourself even about your relaxing, like what does
your relaxing actually look like? Like what refuels you? And
what is taking away from your relaxing to fully let
you relax? Like it's this battle. My boyfriend and I
are long distance, right, and he lives in Charleston and
I live here, and when each of us is in
the other's city or house, that person that's you know,
(13:41):
out of town sleeps like ten hours a night, like
he was here last week and he literally I've never
seen him sleep more. And it's just like we don't
really we can. The only thing we can think of
is that when you're at your house, you feel like
there's the to do list, Like you said, you have
all this shit all the time, but if you're out
of the city that you live in, you kind of
(14:04):
can't do all of it. So it's just a little
bit more out of side, out of mind, and then
you can actually let yourself relax. Like when I go
to Charleston, it is so hard for me to work
at all because I just genuinely feel like, Okay, now
is the time for me to enjoy. And then I
go back to Nashville and do the grind, you know,
and I need to find a little bit of a
better balance with that. But that's why I've enjoyed splitting
(14:25):
my time so much, is because when I go there,
I can like truly shut down. And I think it's
because my brain feels like, oh, well, you can't do
that here, right because you're here, You're not in Nashville,
you're not in your house, you're not at work.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
All the things well, and honestly, you've earned that time,
and I think it's a really important thing that you
have to remind yourself of and you come back refreshed,
right excited about the job. It's not, you know, like
it feels like less of a job when it's something
that you're excited about and that's the guilt creeping in
on you, being like, oh god, I need to be
better about that. No, oh.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Right, It's just sometimes not realistic because like even sometimes
when we're recording, I'm like, I really try not to
have to or try not to plan recordings when I'm there,
or I try not to schedule, you know, calls or
anything like O. There's sometimes I'll have to do work,
but there are things that I really try not to
do because I really want to regain my energy, and
(15:25):
like you pointed out earlier, when I come back, I'm
so ready to do it. It's so interesting how that works.
But I find it really odd how my body is
starting to know, Like when I land in Charles and
it's like I go, I don't know. It's just interesting
to me and wonder why we can't build that into
our normal day to day lives and not feel guilty
(15:46):
about it, because the reality is is we're all better
when we take the rest, when we pour into ourselves
when we do all that stuff. But I don't know
if it's learning or our culture or whatever it is, this
competition thing, this feeling less than thing. I think it's
like an inside job ultimately to really work on that stuff.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
I mean, it really is. It's I think inherently we
all feel like there's this double edged sword when you
go on vacation, because you're like, all right, this is
my break, I'm putting up my out of office. Nobody
fucking call me, nobody email me. But then you're like,
but if something comes, something really important comes up, like
feel free to hit me up. And that's you telling
yourself that, like you're so important that the job can
(16:28):
get done without you, which you want to believe, because
if the job can get done without you, then are
you necessary? And it's this weird psychological thing that I
don't know if it's corporate America or we've just told ourselves,
but it is. I mean, every time I've gone away
on vacation, inevitably something comes up and it gets people
(16:49):
solve it like they're fine, it's gonna and no one's like, well,
we don't need you anymore. You know, everyone likes they're
special attributes. Yeah, but there is in the back of room,
that little devil on your shoulder that says you're not.
It's and it's you know, I think it's just an
ingredient of imposter syndrome that says that you don't deserve
(17:09):
what you have. And the truth is is, not only
do people who work really hard at their jobs deserve
the job that they have, they also deserve the time
to like let their brain rest for a second so
they can come back and be even better at their job.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
I don't know if I've learned this as I've gotten older,
or if I've learned this through some of my own
crashes with burnout, but like, I do think it's hard
because this scenario you just described, like if you're the
one that's like, Okay, I'm gonna go on vacation, there's
always the one who's not going to go on vacation, right, right,
And so your security gets threatened. And I do think
that becomes a psychological issue of like okay, well no, no, no,
(17:46):
you can access me at all times, and so we've
all because one person's doing it, then we've all kind
of started doing it, and that's become the way. And
we also have cell phones now, like we didn't used
to have this kind of access, right or you know,
you could not be accessed as easily, and now we
can be accessed twenty four hours a day at all times.
One thing I definitely do is turn my phone on silent,
(18:08):
like I just I never have my ringer on, but
specifically at night, like I have it on complete silent,
no vibration, know nothing. That's the only way my brain
will stop, because if I'm getting pinged in any sort
of capacity, I'm back in it. But yeah, Like I
do think there's some sort of confidence and I've had
it a little bit through the last couple of years,
(18:29):
and this is why I'm referring to it this way.
And also just acceptance peace like this almost like this
certainty that if you can get to it makes it
a little bit easier with that of just stepping away,
trusting my job is still going to be here and
if it's not, it's not meant for me. Like just
those kind of mentalities, you know, versus oh my god,
(18:51):
what was gonna happen if it goes away? Like the panic,
Like I've lived in that place so much, but that
only drives me to keep striving and get to the place.
Burnout and then I can't do shit for anybody.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
And you're no good. Yeah, no good.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Also, I do think there's a movement a little bit
of what we're talking about, Like, I know this is
specific to this month, but have you noticed I know,
for the Girl Boss Conversation, Like I definitely started to
feel this, and then I've posted about it just saying
like I'm done being trying to be a girl boss.
Like I don't even know what that means. We've talked
about it on the podcast. I think it's kind of bullshit,
(19:26):
but it's this huge pressure that women keep putting on
themselves to be everything to everybody all the time, and
no human being is capable of that, and no human
being is capable of doing well at all things at
all times. Like we're just not built that way. We're
not robots. So I do think that era is ending.
But I'm noticing more people talking about how unsexy this
(19:48):
constant going and drive and whatever is becoming. And I'm grateful,
Like I do think that conversation is starting. Have you
noticed that?
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Mm hm, Well it's funny too, because I think that
that movement was born out of necessity because women weren't
given the respect in the workplace that they deserved. Because
I mean, from my perspective, most of the places I've worked,
the leadership has been women and they fucking kick ass
and they deserve to be there, and it's where I learned,
(20:18):
you know, most of what I know. But still societally,
it's like, yeah, women still had so much that they
felt like they had to prove, and I think that
it took getting there where it was like part of
sort of that you could feel that it was a
cultural thing, like finally women were getting their due. We
were seeing all these like amazing female leaders doing amazing things.
(20:42):
But I think now that we step back from that,
we're like, we were doing it for the wrong reasons,
Like it was it was happening because it was more
about the recognition than actual loving and doing what you
wanted to do and getting to where you were because
of that, or feeling like you had to match some
other girls energy that was just kick an ass. You're like,
I'm not enough of a girl boss. But I do
(21:03):
think that I've seen it pull back a little bit
because when you pour all of your energy into that
area of your life, every other part of your life suffers,
and that should not be necessary just because you're a woman.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Well, your health suffers. Like, yeah, I think that's such
a good point you just made. I don't know why,
I've never thought about it this way, but because women
weren't respected or we had to work to be paid
the same, and when we're still having.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
To it's still a problem.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Yes, it almost is approve your worth kind of thing,
and I don't even know if that has to be
external praise. It's like that is the thing that I
think women are so pissed about a lot of times
in the conversation, is feeling like you're not judged on
the same merits or the same qualifications or whatever it is,
and so you do have to work harder. But then
(21:52):
on the flip side, it was weird to see that,
like women almost surpassed men in a lot of different areas,
like in cycle logical growth or you know, working on yourself,
like the therapeutic worlds. Like I think men are having
to play catch up right now because we've been working
so hard to make a name for ourselves in some way,
(22:13):
you know, shape or form, and that included all areas
of like really working on that stuff. We expect ourselves
to be good at all things at all times, and
like even if you are really trying to do that,
then your body starts to quit on you because your
body's like, yo, hello, remember me? You know, right, that
(22:33):
we're supposed to rest is the whole gist of all
this stuff. We're supposed to take time for ourselves. We're
supposed to receive and feel good and feel nice and
feel the pleasure aspects of life. That is why our
soul is here too, Like, it's not supposed to all
be work in misery and anxiety and stress. Like there
(22:54):
are all these beautiful things and part of being in
the present moment, which we are in tourist season, so
that's perfect. Being in the present moment is enjoying the
things around.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
You, right, And look, I think too, it's feeling things
and accepting things for the way that they are around
you in the present moment. Might have a little misery,
you know, there could be grief.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Oh that's a good point there, especially, Yeah, there could
be those things that like, you know, I've known plenty.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Of people who have had really close relatives pass away,
and it's like they only allow themselves to grief for
a brief moment because you got to get back on
the horse, you know, right, And grief is a really
long road, you know, especially when it's your mother, your father,
a sibling, someone who's really close to your husband, wife, whatever.
It's a really long journey and it's different for everybody,
(23:46):
and we often don't allow ourselves the presence to grieve properly.
So I just wanted to add that because it isn't relaxation,
isn't just about enjoying necessarily, but it's about being present.
And if the present for you is sitting on the
couch with your phone turned off reading a book, that's great.
(24:09):
If the present is grieving the loss of a loved
one and thinking about them and reading through old journals
and looking through photo albums, and it's a heavier moment, great,
But like the point is to tune out the stuff
that isn't necessary for you in that moment.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
So I said, grief takes so much energy. Oh, I
don't know if anyone's listening and they've ever gone through
a deep grief process, But it's exhausting. It's just exhausting.
It's a lot of feelings. It's like you wake up
every morning and just feel heavy, like you're carrying a
weighted vest is kind of what it feels like. But
that's a great point that it doesn't always have to
(24:46):
be or it can't always be that life is just
great and so resting is just this beautiful, lavish, luxurious thing.
It could mean that you need to rest, but it's
all forms of self care. It's like the resting to
take care of yourself because you're going through something. And
I mean, there's so many things that you could be
(25:07):
going through right now because the world feels wild.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Yes, yeah, a lot of emotion for all experiencing.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
I will say I have found a couple new things
I've been posting about this on my Instagram that I'm
doing that are really just my moments that I'm taking
for myself, regardless of how busy, and they're really filling
my cup in this weird way because they're so simple.
But do you have any of those things? I'll share
mine after, but I was gonna ask you.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
I mean, I was just thinking about two examples more
based on sort of taking vacation and how to protect
yourself on that vacation that I learned through friends. One well,
one I learned through my first boss. She would come
back from vacation and do select all delete on her inbox,
(26:03):
which I thought was crazy, but she was like, most
of these things have been solved. Why am I going
to spend the next three days reading all these emails?
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Oh my god?
Speaker 2 (26:12):
And if there's anything that's important, someone's going to follow up.
And granted, like she was the head of a department,
so she had a lot of people under her making
sure things were happening. So I get that, but I
mean it's also like, I know how I feel when
I get through all of my emails in a day
and I'm like, I'm a fucking boss, you know what
I mean, Like I've done it. So it's like a
it's a magnified version of that, Like yeah, because she
(26:33):
could then step into what she needed to get done
right away instead of like sitting there sifting through thousands
of emails that she hadn't looked at. I think that's
a really bold thing to do. The other one, I
had a friend that every time he would go on vacation,
I'm just going to make up a name, Mark Williams.
That's not his rerwn name, Okay. He had a Gmail
account that was Mark Williams is on vacation at gmail
(26:54):
dot com and he would put his out of office
on his work thing and say, hey, I'm on vacation
with my family. I'm, you know, going to focus on them.
If you have an emergency, send me an email at
Mark Williams's on vacation at gmail dot com and I
will respond. And he removed his work emails from his
phone and the only email he had on his phone
(27:17):
was that vacation one. Everyone feel like a fucking asshole
if they had to email him.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Yes, you know, so unless it was super re urgent,
he was.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Not going to get it. He wouldn't He wouldn't even
see the emails because he took it off his phone.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
That is. I think it's just like, it's.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
So smart because it reminds those who are disrespecting your
joy and your your rest that it's it's essential, and
it makes people think about whether something's in emergency or not.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Well, we do all have an urgency that sometimes or
a lot of times is probably not real.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
It's a false urgency, yeah, and I think it exists
with all of us. So it's it takes little things
like that to remind us. So those are two little tactic.
I think for me, it's really just staying home, not
doing anything like sitting on the couch with my dogs
cuddled up is the pinnacle of the relaxation for me,
(28:11):
or going to the local wavepool and just you.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Know, laying the first mention of Wave Country this year.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Well it's opening at the end of the month.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
For those anyone who's a new listener. Chip has a
membership to this place in Nashville called Wave Country. He
likes to call it Wave Country Club, but it's not.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Just it is far from a country club.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
And he goes and sits in the wavepool and just
floats all.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Day and have my phone. I can't. You know.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
It's like, you never think that anyone thinks you're creepy.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
I always wonder that one hundred and I hope they do. Okay,
I hope they do. They listen to Jack FM. I
mean all the lifeguards are fourteen fifteen.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
Yeah, and they're like, you know, this is a serial guy,
the old guy.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
By himself, just singing along. Yeah. So those are my things.
Or going taking my dogs for a walk. I love
a really long walk.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Long walk is so healing. Zone out. Well, I've been
posting about this on my instagram s. Chip you might
already know, but I decided I'm going to call myself
this summer the girl who gardens and girls. I have
become obsessed with grilling. I don't know who I am.
(29:27):
I mean, I've always loved like meat to me or
any sort of proteins, actually everything, even veteran. I just
think everything's better on the grill. And you know, I've
only typically in the past been a person that, if
I'm in a relationship, has a grill situation set up
because my boyfriend would do it. But this year, I mean,
(29:48):
my boyfriend does girl, but he doesn't live here. See,
so this is where I started to be, like, I
need to get my own girl. So when he was here,
he found me the cutest little I wanted to charcoal,
which is a little more work, but I think it's
well worth it for two reasons. One, the food tastes
better like it just I love that like charcoal over
the fire flavor, which you don't really get from a
(30:09):
gas girl. But second of all, the process of like
building the fire and really getting the girls set up
doing the meat, like all the ways the meat needs
to be cooked differently, that is so therapeutic for me.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Huh.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
It's just like I don't know if it's using my
hands or it's because I put my phone down, I'll
like check out, like I don't know where my phone is.
Typically other than it's playing music, like I'll put on music,
especially when it's a nice day. Recently in Nashville, I
just sit out there and I like watch the fire.
And it's the same reason I love building a fire
and a fire pit, like I love the act of
doing tangible things with my hands. And gardening has been
(30:50):
another thing I've really wanted to get into. And I
think I told you guys about my gardening injury a
couple weeks ago, so I took a second to heal.
But I had a issue with a rosebush that a
thorn got lodged into my finger. It's still swollen. I'm
gonna have to go have some issues done. I can't
close my finger still all the way. But anyway, I
planted a bunch of flowers, which there's something in that
(31:10):
that is very therapeutic for me because esthetically it's pleasing.
It's just similar to you with powerwashing, Like it's very
satisfying for me. But also it's the same thing where
I'm using my hands. I put my phone away. I
just don't. I don't know. It's the only time I
have found that I'm really able to check out and
not feel like I need to check and see who
(31:30):
text me or look at you know, what emails are
coming in, or look at social media or anything like that.
And I also up the ante because I planted spinach
and a tomato plant. Oh wow, my tomato plant is
really thriving. My spinach not so much. But that's something
you know who.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Working on that.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
But anyway, again, it's just satisfying. And they sound so simple,
but it's like we do all these things in our day, right,
Like we think you have to go build this massive
business and be online and be this big presence and
do all these big things and that's what makes you successful.
And the older I get, the more I'm thinking, No,
(32:08):
it's like, what does my little world look like? Like?
What does my house feel like? To me? What is
what are the things that bring me joy? And they're
not found on my phone typically, they're found me doing
tangible things in my day to day life, using my hands,
being outside, going on walks and enjoying the sunshine like
all of those things. I sound like a fucking old lady,
(32:29):
I know, retire, Yes, I mean I'm not. I'm the
Grandma who gardens and girls?
Speaker 2 (32:35):
But you remember the quote from Do you remember the
quote from the Did you watch the Martha Stewart documentary?
Speaker 1 (32:42):
I loved that documentary.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
This is my favorite quote from it. She said, if
you want to be happy for a year, get married.
If you want to be happy for a decade, get
a dog. If you want to be happy for the
rest of your life, make a garden.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
She is not wrong. She's like an expert gardener, and you.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
See it in that back garden is unbelievable, fascinating.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
I think Martha would be really hard to work for
personal so true. Yeah, I think so too, But I
love I loved the documentary and I love I actually
enjoy her like and I have so much respect for her.
But she seems very tough because she knows what she
wants and it's very specific. She's a virgo, so it's
like over the top.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
But also too, it's like, look out, how amazing she
became at gardening while also building an empire. So that
should speak to the idea of like disconnecting and folks
and like not having your brain be so worried about
the things that are on your to do list when
you're doing something that is tactile, and you know she's
(33:43):
it's you're still building something like you create.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
That's what's so satisfying about it is building something like
we're in your life. Do you really feel that nowadays?
Because it's everything we do is orderable within twenty four hours.
You know, it's like get on Amazon, you get it
to liver, go to get on Postmates. We barely do
any of the things that I think people did back
(34:07):
in the day that brought a sense of satisfaction to
them or a sense of small success. That's kind of
what it feels like to me. And maybe I'm late
to the game and everyone else has this figured out,
but I do feel like I was operating so much
in the way our culture moves now, you know, this
like sense of urgency, this instant gratification kind of thing,
and this is this slow process like checking on my
(34:31):
tomatoes every day. It's so satisfying because I'm watching, like
right now, I'm watching a couple of them turn red
from green. So I go out every day like so excited,
like how red are they today? You know?
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Are they protected from deer and stuff?
Speaker 1 (34:45):
I haven't had any issues.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
I want some of your tomatoes when they're grown, because.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
Okay, deal, I'll pack you a little bag anyway. So
I guess all of that is to say. I put
into chat shebt, and I was like, if you had
to sum up one quote of tour is season, what
would it be? And I told him what we were talking
about today, or told it she no, literally my best friend.
(35:11):
I wish, I really wish people are like she's back on.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
Word. She has no friends left except for her keyboard.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
Anyway, it said tourists inspired encouragement. Okay, here we go.
Rest is productive, beauty is healing, and slowing down is sexy.
That is good.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
I mean it's all very true.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Slowing down is sexy.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
I like it.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Yeah. I mean even think about it in terms of sex.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
Oh, you're right, Yeah, is better for sure. And you
don't learn that so you're older either, right, slowing down
a sexy beauty is healing. Rest is productive. That's what
you need to say to yourself. Rest is productive, deductive.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
Yeah, it's a good one. And think about like even
the beauty is healing your flowers. I was watching something
the other day or maybe it was we were talking here.
I can't remember, but someone mentioned that. They said I
actually maybe this was in the book that I just finished,
but they were talking about floral design and someone being like,
(36:21):
I mean, I love flowers, I just wish they lasted longer.
And the florist responded was like, flowers only come here
to do what they're meant to do. The beauty is
in that they don't last.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Yeah, because if they lasted all all the time they
were amazing, it wouldn't make you.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
They're like, it's kind of a good thing that they die,
you know.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
There's something about joy. Yeah, there's something about the temporary
nature of it that makes you really enjoy it more.
I feel, Yeah, that's really interesting.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
So it'll be interesting to see if you can, like
with this gardening, if it really becomes a thing, if
you if it becomes a seasonal thing for you, or
you're like even gardening in the winter to prime the
stuff for the spring.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
Well, I want to get better about that because I
waited a little late this year, and it's always unpredictable
in Nashville because we'll have these cold snaps, and so
I think I get scared. But what I want to do, Yeah,
what I want to do next year is do better
at getting started early in winter, prepping, knowing what I'm
gonna do, and learning to like when the season is
(37:23):
that I need to start, because I definitely started late
this year, but just enjoying it.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
So enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Mind your garden and girl sitch rest and beauty. Rest
is productive, Beauty is healing, It's slowing down as sexy.
Don't you forget it.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
I'm a sexy.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
If you guys have any sort of tourist energy that
you're leaning into, email us at the Edge at velvet
edge dot com. Give us some ideas. I mean, Chip
and I can both get really wrapped up in the
go go go, So I'm always open to hearing our love,
hearing about what everyone else is doing to slow down
and kind of your tangible garden and grill situations. You
can also slide into my DMS. I'm at Velvet's Edge
(38:02):
on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
Chip, I'm at chipdor she it's c H I P
D O R S c H.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
And as you guys are go into the weekend and
you're living on the edge, I hope you always remember
to
Speaker 2 (38:13):
A casual bye
Hello, Chip, Hello, well, welcome back to Nashville.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Do you want to tell the listeners where you were
this weekend?
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I was in Key West. I don't just go right
ahead and let y'all know I was Max and a relaxing.
Actually there was very little relaxing going on.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
I was chilling out, max and relaxed. Wait, how does
it go? Chilling out Max and relaxing? Not cool? Shooting
some beoble outside of school? Name that tune?
Speaker 2 (00:29):
I don't know that one. It sounds like it's like
a something from a new edition or something.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
It's the fresh Prince bel Air very game song. Okay,
go ahead. I talked at REESI all of what basically
you were in Key West?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I was in Key West, and I said I was
max and relaxing, but I really was not relaxing. I
was down there for a songwriter festival with the band
Lula and hit a bunch of stuff and running around
and lots of people to hang out with and all
of the things. And we did a lot of karaoke,
which is always on the docket when you're in Key West.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
What's your song?
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Oh my god? There were so many a couple of
years ago. I was down there with Ellen. We found
this like it was a former stroke club because you
can tell by the way the stage is designed. There's
like there's a ledge around the stage and they've got
chairs up against it, you know, and no other karaoke
place has that. Yeah, and it's like in the back
room of another bar. We found it. It was like
dead and so we just like took over the place
(01:26):
the first night, and then we went back the next place,
and like word had gotten out and just got bigger
and bigger every night. So I took the Bandludua of
this year, and I was like, this is the place.
And on Thursday night it was the same sort of thing.
It was kind of dead, and then sorry not I
wasn't there Thursday night. Friday night it was kind of dead,
and then Saturday it was packed again. But the DJ newest,
so like we got would get priority and we got
(01:47):
to sing a lot, but we did don't dream it's over.
I did what's up buy four non buns? You know.
The thing is like there were a lot of good
singers in town, so you would, you know, my go
to his friends in love places, but someone had already
signed up for it. So it's.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
That's such a that's a good karaoke one.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
That's a really good one because the whole room joins in.
So I got some new ideas.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Foray some.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
That's like someone did Addicted to Love by.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Robert Oh, that's a good one.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
That's a really good carry.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
And the words are not like super close together fast
like those are always the really hard ones. I've got
to say. The last time that I was at a
karaoke bar with you, I said to one of our friends, like,
I feel like this is where ship really lives out
his theater degree.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
I mean, I also like was thinking about you know,
whenever I travel, the first thing I do is look
at properly, you know, I get on Zilla to be
like what's for sale? How much the shit costs here?
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Uh huh?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
I Q West is not cheap, but you know you
fantasize about like where you might live later in life.
And I was like, maybe move here in open karaoke bar,
like just it's like by the water and there you go,
or just work at that one. Yeah, so interesting.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Always well you seem like you're halfway here, halfway asleep,
or somewhere else.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
In Yeah, I'm a little foggy, but I'm here.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Yeah, well we'll see how this convo goes. Is because
I have been running on fumes. Work has been so
busy lately, and I feel like every time I say that,
I'm like, don't jinx yourself. You know, that's the like
the life of a freelancer, is it? When it's coming in,
you just want to say yes to everything, and then
you're you get in and you're like, oh my god,
I can't even breathe. There's so much going on. But
(03:31):
I'm really grateful. But it's been really fun. But yeah,
just kind of running on fumes, which kind of leads
into our topic, which is really interesting because had we
not come up with talking about this, or have been
faced with talking about this, I think that I would
probably fall susceptible to doing all of the things that
are anti this at this moment because I am so busy,
(03:52):
and I think you're kind of the same way, just
travel and all the things. And so we were going
to talk about tourist energy, which is is what if
you guys listen to the podcast on Wednesday with Marv
This is the month of Taurists. I'm a tourist rising,
so I feel it even bigger and I'm like happy
about it. But Taurus is this very grounded energy, and
it's like all about comfort and pleasure and sensuality and
(04:18):
enjoying the nicer or finer things in life, whatever that
means to you, Like it doesn't have to be actually
that you're some billionaire that gets to go do all
these like lavish, luxurious things. It's whatever luxury feels like
to you. And that's what the energy is this month.
And we're really supposed to lean into that, which means
(04:38):
slowing down a little bit, which is very much.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Like this summer. Not easy to do.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Yeah, no, it's not easy to do this time of year.
But it's also just if you have kids, this is
always a hectic time of year, you know, the wrap
up of schools. So it's really interesting that the universe
plants this at this time of year. Really kind of
invites us to just try to enjoy life and really
like receive almost like look at the beautiful things around us,
(05:09):
look at what makes us happy, find the pleasure, and
just lean in. And you know, we were talking about this.
I was telling you what I talked about with Marv
and just sort of what the energy is inviting, and
we were both.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Like, ooh, I think the universe forgot about me this month.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Well, I don't know if the universe forgot. I think
I forgot. Like it's more like your choice to either
embrace the energy or fight it. And you had such
an interesting point about what happens when you fight it though,
And so since we know this is what the universe
is inviting us to do, I thought that was a
really good place to start. If you've had experiences, have
(05:47):
you had experiences where you really try to avoid what
you're being told to do as far like energetically from
the universe, I mean, I mean my whole life basically, yeah, everything.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
I mean it's also fun, like this is a time
too where like you know, spring has sprung, Like you
want to be out and about and getting cocktails with
your friends and you don't want to slow down. It's
like the wind has broken. You want to be out
of your house. You're doing things. But it is a
self sort of fulfilling prophecy. The more you ignore it,
the more tired you get, the more overwhelmed you become.
(06:19):
And you know, health is wealth, and if you ignore it,
that's when you end up sick. At the beginning of
the summer, you're overwhelmed, you are in bad moods, you're
just completely burnt out. And you know, with the summer
approaching too. I don't know that this is necessarily the
case for everyone, but in our business, the summer touring
(06:42):
thing picks up, which becomes hectic because it kind of
sucks away your weekends. But people kind of dissipate a
little bit in our business too, and it's harder to
reach them and they're doing you know, they're at their
beach houses or whatever.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
So I feel like, I problem. I know they're at
their beach house.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
The beach houses. Yeah, I mean, that's not everyone in
our business.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
But it's not us.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
It's not me. I'll be right here going to Wave Country.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
The people you need answers from are at their beaches.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
And so it just seems like, you know, summer Fridays
come about, so it's like there is there's like this
weird relaxation slash you know, hecticness that bumps up against
each other. So I guess maybe you know, for me
in our business, like I can look at this like
lead up when everyone's here, is that okay? Relax for
a minute so that you have the.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Interesting you're saying through. All of our listeners obviously come
from different walks of life, and so I'm sure everyone
has their version of right summer craziness. Like, again, we're
not parents, but if you have kids, sometimes summer can
be more stressful than when they're in school, depending on
you know, whatever your kid's energy or if you have
(07:54):
work to get done or whatever. Because it's like they're
not in school.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
It's almost like someone to watch them.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Right, So if you are a working parent, that could
be tricky, like what do you do with your kids
all summer? And then also they're off more, you have
to keep them entertained. Like there's just all these different
factors for summer. But speaking of the energy right now,
I do feel like what you said about if you
fight it, it can really like come back to bite
(08:22):
you in the ass kind of thing. And that's typically
how I've lived my entire life, like I will go go, go,
go go until I get sick and then I still
have to stop. Or I go go, go, go go
until I hit such burnout that I want to stop.
You know, It's like I don't necessarily have the best
on an off switch, and my body is also one
that's like pretty sensitive because I'm absorbing so much energy
(08:43):
all the time. And so it's just like this battle
I've been in my whole entire life, and I really
am trying to be intentional to do better at balance.
So I was grateful for this reminder of Taurus season
and just the energy that Taurus is and knowing specifically
that I'm a tourist rising, so I'm supposed to lean
into that even more so than others as like my
(09:06):
growth pattern goes. And that's so that's what I'm doing,
Like I'm thinking through right now. Okay, you're so busy
with work. So then on the flip side, like not
letting myself only work, which would be really easy for
me to do right now, just to work, work, work, work, work,
and work until like wake up, work, go until I
go to sleep, work, you know. And I know where
that's led me in the past, and so I'm really
(09:27):
trying not to do that while still doing well at
my job, making my clients happy and taking care of myself.
It's like, you know, such a balancing as.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Just a few jobs right there.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Yeah, So is there a part of tourist energy that
you feel like you naturally vibe with. Are you like
me where it's more of a battle.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
It's definitely more of a battle for me because when
I rest, I feel lazy. Rest is so important for
a million reasons. But you're much better at your job
if you've got a clear head. You know, you appreciate
your time, your friend and the people around you if
you miss them a little bit too. So spending time
with yourself is really important. And in the same way
(10:06):
that you know you miss your friends if you're not
seeing them, if you're not tuned into yourself, then you're
missing yourself. And then you feel when you're pouring it
all into everyone else's cup, you feel like you've done
nothing for yourself and it makes you feel alone and
all of those things y. But I mean, the thing
that I struggle with the most is the guilt of rest.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Isn't that wild that we have.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I think it's a very uniquely American cultural thing because
we're just told to work our asses off, and you know,
in other cultures they take months. In France, they take
like the country basically shuts down for the month of
August and everyone gets a real break and we just
don't have that in our society. So I think it's
(10:47):
a learned behavior for sure. You know.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Yeah, it's so interesting to think about, and I wonder
if it's gotten worse. We always talk about social media,
but like with social media and everyone posting constantly, it
makes it even harder to feel like you're not letting
some balls drop if you just take a minute, Like
if you take a beat and you're not working or
you're not striving or driving or doing all the things,
(11:11):
everyone else is going to outrun you and they're gonna
win the race or whatever. Like that's the mentality that
it feels like that, like it's almost panic inducing. To
tie it back to astrology, it's really interesting though, because
if you know anything about your personal chart, like I
have a south note in Capricorn, so I knew how
to work like that. I came to this lifetime really
(11:31):
knowing how to work, and I've almost had to like
unlearn certain disciplines because I think when you have certain
parts of your chart tied, and I don't know what
it would be for you guys, but there could be
a much many different placements that could mean this. But
if they're tied, to these like really driven energies. It
can feel like what you described, like I'll have to
(11:52):
go look at your chart ship and see if there's
anything in there. But it's almost like we have this
knowing in us of how to do it, and maybe
we even came into this lifetime to unlearn that a
little bit and like have a better balance. Like I
know I did for sure in this lifetime. But what
I know how to do innately easily is the work.
(12:12):
So the relaxing is harder for me to learn how
to do, which sounds crazy, Like when I say it
out loud, I'm like, what would be wrong with enjoying
your life and relaxing? And usually I can now, but
like if I feel like there's stuff I should be doing,
and I think that's probably the case for most people,
there's always a list of stuff to be done. As
(12:32):
an adult, there's just always.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
I'm sitting in front of like six sheets of to
do list that I'm trying to combine down. And yes,
well you know it's funny. I like you you brought
up the social media piece, and obviously that is a
huge distraction and it's a huge sort of it has
a lot of influence on how we feel in general.
But even when I'm relaxing, I've got my fucking phone
in my hand and I'm looking at all the stuff
(12:56):
that other people are getting done and it causes a
stress thing. So it's like, even relaxing, I'm looking at
all the stuff that other people are getting done and
it causes a stress thing. So it's like I'm not
even relaxing.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Right, And so it's almost like you have to set
boundaries with yourself even about your relaxing, like what does
your relaxing actually look like? Like what refuels you? And
what is taking away from your relaxing to fully let
you relax? Like it's this battle. My boyfriend and I
are long distance, right, and he lives in Charleston and
I live here, and when each of us is in
the other's city or house, that person that's you know,
(13:41):
out of town sleeps like ten hours a night, like
he was here last week and he literally I've never
seen him sleep more. And it's just like we don't
really we can. The only thing we can think of
is that when you're at your house, you feel like
there's the to do list, Like you said, you have
all this shit all the time, but if you're out
of the city that you live in, you kind of
(14:04):
can't do all of it. So it's just a little
bit more out of side, out of mind, and then
you can actually let yourself relax. Like when I go
to Charleston, it is so hard for me to work
at all because I just genuinely feel like, Okay, now
is the time for me to enjoy. And then I
go back to Nashville and do the grind, you know,
and I need to find a little bit of a
better balance with that. But that's why I've enjoyed splitting
(14:25):
my time so much, is because when I go there,
I can like truly shut down. And I think it's
because my brain feels like, oh, well, you can't do
that here, right because you're here, You're not in Nashville,
you're not in your house, you're not at work.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
All the things well, and honestly, you've earned that time,
and I think it's a really important thing that you
have to remind yourself of and you come back refreshed,
right excited about the job. It's not, you know, like
it feels like less of a job when it's something
that you're excited about and that's the guilt creeping in
on you, being like, oh god, I need to be
better about that. No, oh.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Right, It's just sometimes not realistic because like even sometimes
when we're recording, I'm like, I really try not to
have to or try not to plan recordings when I'm there,
or I try not to schedule, you know, calls or
anything like O. There's sometimes I'll have to do work,
but there are things that I really try not to
do because I really want to regain my energy, and
(15:25):
like you pointed out earlier, when I come back, I'm
so ready to do it. It's so interesting how that works.
But I find it really odd how my body is
starting to know, Like when I land in Charles and
it's like I go, I don't know. It's just interesting
to me and wonder why we can't build that into
our normal day to day lives and not feel guilty
(15:46):
about it, because the reality is is we're all better
when we take the rest, when we pour into ourselves
when we do all that stuff. But I don't know
if it's learning or our culture or whatever it is, this
competition thing, this feeling less than thing. I think it's
like an inside job ultimately to really work on that stuff.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
I mean, it really is. It's I think inherently we
all feel like there's this double edged sword when you
go on vacation, because you're like, all right, this is
my break, I'm putting up my out of office. Nobody
fucking call me, nobody email me. But then you're like,
but if something comes, something really important comes up, like
feel free to hit me up. And that's you telling
yourself that, like you're so important that the job can
(16:28):
get done without you, which you want to believe, because
if the job can get done without you, then are
you necessary? And it's this weird psychological thing that I
don't know if it's corporate America or we've just told ourselves,
but it is. I mean, every time I've gone away
on vacation, inevitably something comes up and it gets people
(16:49):
solve it like they're fine, it's gonna and no one's like, well,
we don't need you anymore. You know, everyone likes they're
special attributes. Yeah, but there is in the back of room,
that little devil on your shoulder that says you're not.
It's and it's you know, I think it's just an
ingredient of imposter syndrome that says that you don't deserve
(17:09):
what you have. And the truth is is, not only
do people who work really hard at their jobs deserve
the job that they have, they also deserve the time
to like let their brain rest for a second so
they can come back and be even better at their job.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
I don't know if I've learned this as I've gotten older,
or if I've learned this through some of my own
crashes with burnout, but like, I do think it's hard
because this scenario you just described, like if you're the
one that's like, Okay, I'm gonna go on vacation, there's
always the one who's not going to go on vacation, right, right,
And so your security gets threatened. And I do think
that becomes a psychological issue of like okay, well no, no, no,
(17:46):
you can access me at all times, and so we've
all because one person's doing it, then we've all kind
of started doing it, and that's become the way. And
we also have cell phones now, like we didn't used
to have this kind of access, right or you know,
you could not be accessed as easily, and now we
can be accessed twenty four hours a day at all times.
One thing I definitely do is turn my phone on silent,
(18:08):
like I just I never have my ringer on, but
specifically at night, like I have it on complete silent,
no vibration, know nothing. That's the only way my brain
will stop, because if I'm getting pinged in any sort
of capacity, I'm back in it. But yeah, Like I
do think there's some sort of confidence and I've had
it a little bit through the last couple of years,
(18:29):
and this is why I'm referring to it this way.
And also just acceptance peace like this almost like this
certainty that if you can get to it makes it
a little bit easier with that of just stepping away,
trusting my job is still going to be here and
if it's not, it's not meant for me. Like just
those kind of mentalities, you know, versus oh my god,
(18:51):
what was gonna happen if it goes away? Like the panic,
Like I've lived in that place so much, but that
only drives me to keep striving and get to the place.
Burnout and then I can't do shit for anybody.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
And you're no good. Yeah, no good.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Also, I do think there's a movement a little bit
of what we're talking about, Like, I know this is
specific to this month, but have you noticed I know,
for the Girl Boss Conversation, Like I definitely started to
feel this, and then I've posted about it just saying
like I'm done being trying to be a girl boss.
Like I don't even know what that means. We've talked
about it on the podcast. I think it's kind of bullshit,
(19:26):
but it's this huge pressure that women keep putting on
themselves to be everything to everybody all the time, and
no human being is capable of that, and no human
being is capable of doing well at all things at
all times. Like we're just not built that way. We're
not robots. So I do think that era is ending.
But I'm noticing more people talking about how unsexy this
(19:48):
constant going and drive and whatever is becoming. And I'm grateful,
Like I do think that conversation is starting. Have you
noticed that?
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Mm hm, Well it's funny too, because I think that
that movement was born out of necessity because women weren't
given the respect in the workplace that they deserved. Because
I mean, from my perspective, most of the places I've worked,
the leadership has been women and they fucking kick ass
and they deserve to be there, and it's where I learned,
(20:18):
you know, most of what I know. But still societally,
it's like, yeah, women still had so much that they
felt like they had to prove, and I think that
it took getting there where it was like part of
sort of that you could feel that it was a
cultural thing, like finally women were getting their due. We
were seeing all these like amazing female leaders doing amazing things.
(20:42):
But I think now that we step back from that,
we're like, we were doing it for the wrong reasons,
Like it was it was happening because it was more
about the recognition than actual loving and doing what you
wanted to do and getting to where you were because
of that, or feeling like you had to match some
other girls energy that was just kick an ass. You're like,
I'm not enough of a girl boss. But I do
(21:03):
think that I've seen it pull back a little bit
because when you pour all of your energy into that
area of your life, every other part of your life suffers,
and that should not be necessary just because you're a woman.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Well, your health suffers. Like, yeah, I think that's such
a good point you just made. I don't know why,
I've never thought about it this way, but because women
weren't respected or we had to work to be paid
the same, and when we're still having.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
To it's still a problem.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Yes, it almost is approve your worth kind of thing,
and I don't even know if that has to be
external praise. It's like that is the thing that I
think women are so pissed about a lot of times
in the conversation, is feeling like you're not judged on
the same merits or the same qualifications or whatever it is,
and so you do have to work harder. But then
(21:52):
on the flip side, it was weird to see that,
like women almost surpassed men in a lot of different areas,
like in cycle logical growth or you know, working on yourself,
like the therapeutic worlds. Like I think men are having
to play catch up right now because we've been working
so hard to make a name for ourselves in some way,
(22:13):
you know, shape or form, and that included all areas
of like really working on that stuff. We expect ourselves
to be good at all things at all times, and
like even if you are really trying to do that,
then your body starts to quit on you because your
body's like, yo, hello, remember me? You know, right, that
(22:33):
we're supposed to rest is the whole gist of all
this stuff. We're supposed to take time for ourselves. We're
supposed to receive and feel good and feel nice and
feel the pleasure aspects of life. That is why our
soul is here too, Like, it's not supposed to all
be work in misery and anxiety and stress. Like there
(22:54):
are all these beautiful things and part of being in
the present moment, which we are in tourist season, so
that's perfect. Being in the present moment is enjoying the
things around.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
You, right, And look, I think too, it's feeling things
and accepting things for the way that they are around
you in the present moment. Might have a little misery,
you know, there could be grief.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Oh that's a good point there, especially, Yeah, there could
be those things that like, you know, I've known plenty.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Of people who have had really close relatives pass away,
and it's like they only allow themselves to grief for
a brief moment because you got to get back on
the horse, you know, right, And grief is a really
long road, you know, especially when it's your mother, your father,
a sibling, someone who's really close to your husband, wife, whatever.
It's a really long journey and it's different for everybody,
(23:46):
and we often don't allow ourselves the presence to grieve properly.
So I just wanted to add that because it isn't relaxation,
isn't just about enjoying necessarily, but it's about being present.
And if the present for you is sitting on the
couch with your phone turned off reading a book, that's great.
(24:09):
If the present is grieving the loss of a loved
one and thinking about them and reading through old journals
and looking through photo albums, and it's a heavier moment, great,
But like the point is to tune out the stuff
that isn't necessary for you in that moment.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
So I said, grief takes so much energy. Oh, I
don't know if anyone's listening and they've ever gone through
a deep grief process, But it's exhausting. It's just exhausting.
It's a lot of feelings. It's like you wake up
every morning and just feel heavy, like you're carrying a
weighted vest is kind of what it feels like. But
that's a great point that it doesn't always have to
(24:46):
be or it can't always be that life is just
great and so resting is just this beautiful, lavish, luxurious thing.
It could mean that you need to rest, but it's
all forms of self care. It's like the resting to
take care of yourself because you're going through something. And
I mean, there's so many things that you could be
(25:07):
going through right now because the world feels wild.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Yes, yeah, a lot of emotion for all experiencing.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
I will say I have found a couple new things
I've been posting about this on my Instagram that I'm
doing that are really just my moments that I'm taking
for myself, regardless of how busy, and they're really filling
my cup in this weird way because they're so simple.
But do you have any of those things? I'll share
mine after, but I was gonna ask you.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
I mean, I was just thinking about two examples more
based on sort of taking vacation and how to protect
yourself on that vacation that I learned through friends. One well,
one I learned through my first boss. She would come
back from vacation and do select all delete on her inbox,
(26:03):
which I thought was crazy, but she was like, most
of these things have been solved. Why am I going
to spend the next three days reading all these emails?
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Oh my god?
Speaker 2 (26:12):
And if there's anything that's important, someone's going to follow up.
And granted, like she was the head of a department,
so she had a lot of people under her making
sure things were happening. So I get that, but I
mean it's also like, I know how I feel when
I get through all of my emails in a day
and I'm like, I'm a fucking boss, you know what
I mean, Like I've done it. So it's like a
it's a magnified version of that, Like yeah, because she
(26:33):
could then step into what she needed to get done
right away instead of like sitting there sifting through thousands
of emails that she hadn't looked at. I think that's
a really bold thing to do. The other one, I
had a friend that every time he would go on vacation,
I'm just going to make up a name, Mark Williams.
That's not his rerwn name, Okay. He had a Gmail
account that was Mark Williams is on vacation at gmail
(26:54):
dot com and he would put his out of office
on his work thing and say, hey, I'm on vacation
with my family. I'm, you know, going to focus on them.
If you have an emergency, send me an email at
Mark Williams's on vacation at gmail dot com and I
will respond. And he removed his work emails from his
phone and the only email he had on his phone
(27:17):
was that vacation one. Everyone feel like a fucking asshole
if they had to email him.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Yes, you know, so unless it was super re urgent,
he was.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Not going to get it. He wouldn't He wouldn't even
see the emails because he took it off his phone.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
That is. I think it's just like, it's.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
So smart because it reminds those who are disrespecting your
joy and your your rest that it's it's essential, and
it makes people think about whether something's in emergency or not.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Well, we do all have an urgency that sometimes or
a lot of times is probably not real.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
It's a false urgency, yeah, and I think it exists
with all of us. So it's it takes little things
like that to remind us. So those are two little tactic.
I think for me, it's really just staying home, not
doing anything like sitting on the couch with my dogs
cuddled up is the pinnacle of the relaxation for me,
(28:11):
or going to the local wavepool and just you.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Know, laying the first mention of Wave Country this year.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Well it's opening at the end of the month.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
For those anyone who's a new listener. Chip has a
membership to this place in Nashville called Wave Country. He
likes to call it Wave Country Club, but it's not.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Just it is far from a country club.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
And he goes and sits in the wavepool and just
floats all.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Day and have my phone. I can't. You know.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
It's like, you never think that anyone thinks you're creepy.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
I always wonder that one hundred and I hope they do. Okay,
I hope they do. They listen to Jack FM. I
mean all the lifeguards are fourteen fifteen.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
Yeah, and they're like, you know, this is a serial guy,
the old guy.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
By himself, just singing along. Yeah. So those are my things.
Or going taking my dogs for a walk. I love
a really long walk.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Long walk is so healing. Zone out. Well, I've been
posting about this on my instagram s. Chip you might
already know, but I decided I'm going to call myself
this summer the girl who gardens and girls. I have
become obsessed with grilling. I don't know who I am.
(29:27):
I mean, I've always loved like meat to me or
any sort of proteins, actually everything, even veteran. I just
think everything's better on the grill. And you know, I've
only typically in the past been a person that, if
I'm in a relationship, has a grill situation set up
because my boyfriend would do it. But this year, I mean,
(29:48):
my boyfriend does girl, but he doesn't live here. See,
so this is where I started to be, like, I
need to get my own girl. So when he was here,
he found me the cutest little I wanted to charcoal,
which is a little more work, but I think it's
well worth it for two reasons. One, the food tastes
better like it just I love that like charcoal over
the fire flavor, which you don't really get from a
(30:09):
gas girl. But second of all, the process of like
building the fire and really getting the girls set up
doing the meat, like all the ways the meat needs
to be cooked differently, that is so therapeutic for me.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Huh.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
It's just like I don't know if it's using my
hands or it's because I put my phone down, I'll
like check out, like I don't know where my phone is.
Typically other than it's playing music, like I'll put on music,
especially when it's a nice day. Recently in Nashville, I
just sit out there and I like watch the fire.
And it's the same reason I love building a fire
and a fire pit, like I love the act of
doing tangible things with my hands. And gardening has been
(30:50):
another thing I've really wanted to get into. And I
think I told you guys about my gardening injury a
couple weeks ago, so I took a second to heal.
But I had a issue with a rosebush that a
thorn got lodged into my finger. It's still swollen. I'm
gonna have to go have some issues done. I can't
close my finger still all the way. But anyway, I
planted a bunch of flowers, which there's something in that
(31:10):
that is very therapeutic for me because esthetically it's pleasing.
It's just similar to you with powerwashing, Like it's very
satisfying for me. But also it's the same thing where
I'm using my hands. I put my phone away. I
just don't. I don't know. It's the only time I
have found that I'm really able to check out and
not feel like I need to check and see who
(31:30):
text me or look at you know, what emails are
coming in, or look at social media or anything like that.
And I also up the ante because I planted spinach
and a tomato plant. Oh wow, my tomato plant is
really thriving. My spinach not so much. But that's something
you know who.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Working on that.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
But anyway, again, it's just satisfying. And they sound so simple,
but it's like we do all these things in our day, right,
Like we think you have to go build this massive
business and be online and be this big presence and
do all these big things and that's what makes you successful.
And the older I get, the more I'm thinking, No,
(32:08):
it's like, what does my little world look like? Like?
What does my house feel like? To me? What is
what are the things that bring me joy? And they're
not found on my phone typically, they're found me doing
tangible things in my day to day life, using my hands,
being outside, going on walks and enjoying the sunshine like
all of those things. I sound like a fucking old lady,
(32:29):
I know, retire, Yes, I mean I'm not. I'm the
Grandma who gardens and girls?
Speaker 2 (32:35):
But you remember the quote from Do you remember the
quote from the Did you watch the Martha Stewart documentary?
Speaker 1 (32:42):
I loved that documentary.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
This is my favorite quote from it. She said, if
you want to be happy for a year, get married.
If you want to be happy for a decade, get
a dog. If you want to be happy for the
rest of your life, make a garden.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
She is not wrong. She's like an expert gardener, and you.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
See it in that back garden is unbelievable, fascinating.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
I think Martha would be really hard to work for
personal so true. Yeah, I think so too, But I
love I loved the documentary and I love I actually
enjoy her like and I have so much respect for her.
But she seems very tough because she knows what she
wants and it's very specific. She's a virgo, so it's
like over the top.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
But also too, it's like, look out, how amazing she
became at gardening while also building an empire. So that
should speak to the idea of like disconnecting and folks
and like not having your brain be so worried about
the things that are on your to do list when
you're doing something that is tactile, and you know she's
(33:43):
it's you're still building something like you create.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
That's what's so satisfying about it is building something like
we're in your life. Do you really feel that nowadays?
Because it's everything we do is orderable within twenty four hours.
You know, it's like get on Amazon, you get it
to liver, go to get on Postmates. We barely do
any of the things that I think people did back
(34:07):
in the day that brought a sense of satisfaction to
them or a sense of small success. That's kind of
what it feels like to me. And maybe I'm late
to the game and everyone else has this figured out,
but I do feel like I was operating so much
in the way our culture moves now, you know, this
like sense of urgency, this instant gratification kind of thing,
and this is this slow process like checking on my
(34:31):
tomatoes every day. It's so satisfying because I'm watching, like
right now, I'm watching a couple of them turn red
from green. So I go out every day like so excited,
like how red are they today? You know?
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Are they protected from deer and stuff?
Speaker 1 (34:45):
I haven't had any issues.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
I want some of your tomatoes when they're grown, because.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
Okay, deal, I'll pack you a little bag anyway. So
I guess all of that is to say. I put
into chat shebt, and I was like, if you had
to sum up one quote of tour is season, what
would it be? And I told him what we were talking
about today, or told it she no, literally my best friend.
(35:11):
I wish, I really wish people are like she's back on.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
Word. She has no friends left except for her keyboard.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
Anyway, it said tourists inspired encouragement. Okay, here we go.
Rest is productive, beauty is healing, and slowing down is sexy.
That is good.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
I mean it's all very true.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Slowing down is sexy.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
I like it.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Yeah. I mean even think about it in terms of sex.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
Oh, you're right, Yeah, is better for sure. And you
don't learn that so you're older either, right, slowing down
a sexy beauty is healing. Rest is productive. That's what
you need to say to yourself. Rest is productive, deductive.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
Yeah, it's a good one. And think about like even
the beauty is healing your flowers. I was watching something
the other day or maybe it was we were talking here.
I can't remember, but someone mentioned that. They said I
actually maybe this was in the book that I just finished,
but they were talking about floral design and someone being like,
(36:21):
I mean, I love flowers, I just wish they lasted longer.
And the florist responded was like, flowers only come here
to do what they're meant to do. The beauty is
in that they don't last.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Yeah, because if they lasted all all the time they
were amazing, it wouldn't make you.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
They're like, it's kind of a good thing that they die,
you know.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
There's something about joy. Yeah, there's something about the temporary
nature of it that makes you really enjoy it more.
I feel, Yeah, that's really interesting.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
So it'll be interesting to see if you can, like
with this gardening, if it really becomes a thing, if
you if it becomes a seasonal thing for you, or
you're like even gardening in the winter to prime the
stuff for the spring.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
Well, I want to get better about that because I
waited a little late this year, and it's always unpredictable
in Nashville because we'll have these cold snaps, and so
I think I get scared. But what I want to do, Yeah,
what I want to do next year is do better
at getting started early in winter, prepping, knowing what I'm
gonna do, and learning to like when the season is
(37:23):
that I need to start, because I definitely started late
this year, but just enjoying it.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
So enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Mind your garden and girl sitch rest and beauty. Rest
is productive, Beauty is healing, It's slowing down as sexy.
Don't you forget it.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
I'm a sexy.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
If you guys have any sort of tourist energy that
you're leaning into, email us at the Edge at velvet
edge dot com. Give us some ideas. I mean, Chip
and I can both get really wrapped up in the
go go go, So I'm always open to hearing our love,
hearing about what everyone else is doing to slow down
and kind of your tangible garden and grill situations. You
can also slide into my DMS. I'm at Velvet's Edge
(38:02):
on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
Chip, I'm at chipdor she it's c H I P
D O R S c H.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
And as you guys are go into the weekend and
you're living on the edge, I hope you always remember
to
Speaker 2 (38:13):
A casual bye
Host
Kelly Henderson
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