August 1, 2025 • 27 mins
Kelly and Chip open their settings and reveal the results of how much time they spend on their phones and doing what. They also reveal astonishing stats about how time spent changes as we age and bring some options on doing things differently to live your actual most connected life.
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HOSTS:
Kelly Henderson // @velvetsedge // velvetsedge.com
Chip Dorsch // @chipdorsch
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, Chip, I just sounded like my sister. That's how
she says it when I call her.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Lit up Chip, it's about to sing you a song.
So I did a podcast on Wednesday that the intuitive
told me that she kept picturing me behind a microphone
like emotionally belting out a song, and she's like, I
have now done this reading with you. Now I'm doing
this podcast with you, and that is not leaving me.
(00:29):
And I thought I said I'm not a singer though
in fact, on my Friday episodes with my co host,
we try to sing sometimes and we're terrible.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
You don't. I want to know something funny is I
was Actually I was in the studio yesterday with the
band Lula and ended up in the vocal booth doing
gang vocals on the chorus.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
What's a gang vocal?
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Like?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Similar to a gang bang?
Speaker 1 (00:51):
No? Well yeah, but everyone's singing, so it's like we
were the choir basically, So everyone that was happened to
be at the studio that at that time studio and
we sang harmonies.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Was she channeling your energy on me? Maybe do I
need to do a gang vocal?
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Maybe we need to add you?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I was dying laughing every time she says that. I'm like,
I mean, I definitely think that I'm in a phase
of learning how to express so I could see that,
but like actually singing by myself behind a mic, I
mean sorry to the audience.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
In advance karaoke.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Yeah, but you know I don't even really like to
do that anymore.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Yeah, but that doesn't mean you won't, I guess not
a shoot. So anyway, I'm always down.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
I'm just going to be singing for a week. My
homework is to sing a song by myself for five minutes,
just to like see what happens and see if it
opens anything up. So there you go.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
She gave you homework. Yes, oh wow.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
I love intuitives that give homework because it's been it's
like actually putting things, making things applicable in your life,
like actually putting them into practice.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Next week on the Velvet Edge, we're going to hear
the Day Be a single from.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Kelly Do you know what I?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Do?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
You know what? Song? I did today? After that podcast,
I was prepping for some other stuff and then I
was sitting in front of my computer and I did
Lisa Lobe stay.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Oh, I just added that to my karaoke list.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
For some reason, that has always been the one song.
When I was younger, I was like, maybe I kind
of sound like Lisa Lobe Like I thought maybe I could.
I think it's because I can stay on pitch with
her the whole entire time, Like I can hit all
the notes. Yeah, so in my head, I sound just
like her.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
It gets to be a bit tongue twistery at the end.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I know every word. Yeah, I know the part you're
talking about though.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Yeah, call me because you.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Want me and went to you let me go. Yeah,
you try to give away keep her anyway.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
That's a fun I got a fun little fact about
that song. It's the only independent Well it might that
this might not be a fact anymore because it's an
older song, but when it hit number one on the
pop chart, it was the first time an independent song
was number one on the pop chart because she wasn't
a record label. Oh really, Yeah, that song was on
the Reality Bite soundtrack. Yes, that was how I got
(03:05):
It was put out through a major label, but she
wasn't signed yet. She was Ethan Hawk's neighbor no way, Yeah,
she was his neighbor, and he put her on the soundtrack.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
My god, I used to love her.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Mm hmmm, I have that. I have her first album
on cassette. It's called the Purple Tape.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
That's what her cassette is.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Called, Yeah, because it was purple.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Oh oh my god, look at all these fun facts.
I didn't even know what I was opening Pandora's box
when I said, Lisa Lobe. Anyway, maybe I'll sing it
again later and I'll always know it to.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
You, my practice.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
That's not what we're actually here to talk about. We
actually both just did a really interesting experience experiment. So
if you are not driving, I would uh, is it
employ you? Is that how you say this? Poor implore? Wow,
I knew that wasn't right, but my brain's a little
dead today. I would implore you to take out your
phone open if you have an iPhone, go to your settings.
(04:03):
Then what do I do, Chip, I'm already forgot you.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Go to settings and look at screen screen time. Let
me see if I can find out for those Android users.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Android, Yes, if you're an Android user. So Chip texted
me and says, have you ever looked at your screen time?
Which of course I have, But now I choose to
live in denial. And not. But I'm kind of glad
you brought this back up to me because I do
feel like when I just let it free flow and
I'm not at all paying attention, it gets a little
(04:33):
out of hand. Did you want to, like tell us
some of your numbers?
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Chip, Yeah, so I was shocked. So my my daily
average is down this week to down twenty one percent
from last week to almost eight hours of use on
my phone seven hours and fifty one minutes. That's your
daily after that's the average daily. Yes, for yesterday, I
(04:58):
was on my phone ten hours in fifty three minutes
calling to me.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Does that include phone calls?
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Probably, but it's not. I don't talk on the phone
that much. I don't even see where phone is on.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
I don't actually know that it does. That's what's making
it worse because it says see all app and website activity.
My daily average is seven hours and thirty two minutes.
That's on apps and websites. Yeah, what's your highest it like,
what's your highest category?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
My most used category is mess I message so texting?
Are you sure?
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Did you press the most?
Speaker 1 (05:40):
It's just it's so it's social.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Not social as well? Does that include messages?
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Gossages messages fall into that. So oh, I spent a
whopping eleven seconds today on LinkedIn.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
I won't even have LinkedIn. What is your okay screen
time for social? What is yours for last week?
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Last week?
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Mine is shocking? I want to I don't even know
if I want to say it.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Oh my god, mine is I don't know if this
is collective. I don't know how to read it properly.
I'm looking at last week and it says eighteen hours
and sixteen minutes.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
But yeah, mine says seventeen hours and sixteen minutes.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Crazy, that must be total though, right of the week.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Yeah, my daily average is four hours and nineteen minutes.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Oh yeah, my daily average is four hours and thirty
four seconds.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Oh my god. So Chip and I got to talking
about this because we were just, I mean, we comments
about this all the time on this podcast, of just
how we kind of feel like we float through this
world or we're not fully paying attention to things. We're
just like driving the bus, I've going to work, the
hustle of all the things. And you actually sent me
a really interesting article. There was a couple, but this
(06:53):
one post from Mel Robbins. If you guys ever follow her,
but she's on Instagram. She said, on average, you will
spend twenty twenty years of your life just scrolling through
your phone. Imagine it's the end of your life and
someone says, would you like an extra twenty years and
your answer is nah, I'd rather have I'd rather have
spent twenty years scrolling mindlessly on my phone.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
I mean, it's it really puts it in perspective, like
big time. I know I use my phone a lot
for work, and I think so the text messaging has
a lot to do with work. But it's shocking to
me the differentiation between how much time I spend on
email on my phone versus text messaging. And you know,
(07:36):
a lot of work stuff now does well.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
We talked about that.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
I hate it. I hate texting for work, but you
just have to. It just is what it is, just
the world that we live in now. But it's it's
a huge difference between mail and texting. I would imagine
that I just do more of the emailing on my computer,
but I also I am running around a lot. I'm
not often just sitting at my desk.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
That's why I think I would shocked by your numbers
because I feel like you're either driving or running around
pretty consistently.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yeah, but I'm one of those bad people that is
on my phone a lot when I'm driving.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
I'm not a bad person. Don't talk about my friend
the way.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Well, I'm just like, it's not a smart thing to do,
and I recognize that, but I also do it, you know,
so I need to be better about it. Would you
just say when you're driving when I'm driving, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
That's to be better about that.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Yeah, I have to be better about it.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
I just think that it's so fascinating because it's such
a I had a somatic therapist once tell me that
motion that I'm doing. The motion right now, You guys
have like the scroll, Like the way we move our
finger up and down on the phone when we're scrolling
is a way that we calm our nervous system, which
I found fascinating because really it's yes, it's a way
(08:48):
we disassociate. And so the social media people specifically are
so brilliant because they have learned how to tap into
our addictive brain in our nervous systems. And so we're
sitting they're doing that scrolling motion after the like at
the end of a long day, or if you find
yourself doing it in between task or when you're on
the phone with someone and you like need to go
(09:09):
do that, really your nervous system is like, I'm overloaded,
is what that's saying.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Thingfore, no, we've never done so it's something that we've
adapted to.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Well, it's what you do on your phone. So before,
like when you only had MySpace on your computer, it
was different, but somehow, like that's how it's progressed in
our society now that we have such access to apps
on our phone, and that could be for dating apps,
that could be anything. It's like we always wonder why
these things are so addictive. There's obviously like the validation piece,
you know, the reward process that speaks to our brains
(09:42):
and our nervous systems. But I just thought that that's
so interesting about that motion, and so I have started
to try, like if I find myself having those days
where I'm just not able to not pick up my phone,
I'm like, what is going on? Like trying to ask
yourself the deeper question. But it's crazy how unconscious it is,
(10:02):
you know, like it's literally like that phantom even vibrate
thing that happens in the back pocket, or if you
if you see someone else pick up their phone and
they're checking it, like you have to check yours all
of a sudden, do you notice it.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
It's almost like an adult pacifier if you think about it,
because you know, when I walk in, if I'm like
early to a bar, a restaurant or something, it's like
my shield. Yeah, I can like look like I'm not alone,
I can disappear into something, and yeah, I tell myself, oh,
I can use this time to get some stuff done.
But if I look at the stats on my right,
(10:35):
for the most part, I'm probably not doing shit that's
worth doing, you know. Yeah, so you know I I
have to change something like this is shocking to me.
This is the first time I've ever looked at like
I had to google how to figure it out. And
by the way, if you're an Android user, what you
would do is you open your device's settings app and
(10:56):
then tap Digital well Being and Parental Controls, and there's
charts to show your ice US and then you should
throw away your phone again.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
On my phone, don't start them on those green pets.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
I can't.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
I can't hear that rant again. I will say, there
is something you can do on iPhones, And I did
have this set up for me for a while where
it was like, after an hour on your social media,
you would get it stops you. It like takes you
out of it, and it goes alert. You've been on
here for an hour. Let me tell you how fast
(11:29):
that comes in your day. There would be times where
I'm like, it's eight am, how am I already getting that?
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Like right?
Speaker 2 (11:34):
And so anyway, I wouldn't necessarily follow the rules, but
it was something that I had in place that did
help me actually be conscious of it more.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
I mean, does it not lock you out of the
app until the next.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Day, No, you can just close it out.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
See, there must be some way, like because of with
the parental control, you might have to go a little
deeper because there are parental controls that you can literally
lock them out.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
I mean, you sound like such an addict right now,
though when you hear yourself, I mean.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
No, truthfully, it's I would need something that extreme because
I would do exactly what you did. Ah fuck it,
Like in the same way that like when my alarm
goes off at six am, I hit snooze for an hour.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
We'll tell about that stat So I was.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Like, wait a minute, why have I used my clock
more than I used email that day? Well, because I like,
I hit snooze for an hour and so you're in
your clock is open the whole time that so it's
from like six am to seven am. The other day.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
I just can't The snooze thing is so bizarre to me.
I don't understand it because I'm like, just set your
alarm for seven, then why.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Then I would hit snooze till eight?
Speaker 2 (12:38):
But it's just such disrupted sleep, I guess, so I
don't feel rested after. It makes me feel worse if I'm.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Trying to shift my daily habits so that I wake
up earlier so that I can get like a dog
walk in, some meditation, some journaling and the gym, but
all before work. But it's really I know, it's really
hard to shift that because I'm used to standing up
really late, and waking up at six is really hard.
(13:07):
So I have started Now I put my phone in
the kitchen and an alarm clock in the kitchen, so
I have to get out of bed to turn them off.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Yeah, and then once you're out, it's like you're us
it seem as well, make a coffee while you're yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Right, and then once I want and you know, after
a few days of this, it will start to form
a habit where it's a lot easier just to get
up at that time because I actually really love being
up in the morning. I also happen to love sleeping,
so if I can sleep later, I do. But this
was a short tail sign, Like that's really embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
It's shocking.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
You were on your clock for an hour. Yeah, so
like what a lame app to be on the clock.
It's like what.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
You did. Send me another post that I thought was
really interesting because it really breaks down because when we
were talking about let me backtrack for a second, we
were talking about the phone. Then you were like, oh
my god, this is crazy. Think about all the time
we're missing with the people in our lives, like actually
interacting with real human beings, really truly connecting, not just
(14:10):
disassociating or thinking that being on social media is true connection.
Like we're missing relationships with the people in our lives.
And then you found this post. Do you want to
read it or do you want me to?
Speaker 1 (14:21):
You can start because there's several slides.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
So yeah, this is on tanks good news. But so
basically they're talking about how from the time we're born
until our death, there's different seasons that different relationships are
like priorities. So when you first start, obviously, like your
relationship with your parents and your siblings, like your immediate
(14:44):
family is high, but it peaks in childhood and then
it declines after the age of twenty. So the key
takeaways they say with this slide is time with family
is limited. Time with your parents declines sharply after age twenty.
You may only see your loved ones a few more times.
Prioritize and cherish every moment.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
I mean, it's wild you.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Talk about that one a lot, because you don't. I
was talking about recently, like my parents are actually moving
to Nashville, and I'm so grateful because even if I
see them once a week, it's more than I'm like,
we're seeing them now twice a year, three times a year,
you know, like not very often on holidays. And then
it's like as everyone gets older, you start to really
take that into consideration of like, oh my gosh, there's
(15:28):
not that much times if I keep on this routine
of how often I'm seeing them there's not many times
that I'm gonna see them.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Yeah, the closer the older we all get, the worse
it gets. And you know, you and I it's a
little different because we're both single without children, right Like
I think about with my sister, who actually lives a
lot closer to my parents and because of that gets
to see them more often. But the older her kids
are getting, the more complicated it is for her to
carve time out to go see my parents, of course,
because she's got softball games, running them around all and
(15:57):
running them around doctor's appointments, someone's sick and she doesn't
want to get my parents sick and all of the things.
And there's you know, there's a million reasons. Right Seeing
this post and seeing the graph is actually, like it's
kind of heartbreaking when you think about it, Like especially
for people that move away, Like I haven't lived where
I grew up since I was eighteen years old, right,
(16:18):
so the amount of time that I've gotten to spend
with my parents is diminished because of that. So I,
you know, I do make a very concerted effort to
try and get home several times a year, and if
there's a work excuse for me to be close to it,
like closer to the home. I'll try and build in
a trip home, even if it's for one night, because
I know how much it means to them, and when
(16:39):
they're gone, it'll mean even more to me. You know
that I put in that effort.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
For sure, and you embrace the time you have with them.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
This one says time spent with friends peaks at eighteen
and declines sharply to decline sharply to a low baseline.
Key takeaways embrace friendship, Brett, but focus on death up.
Cherish those who are with you through good and bad times.
Invest your energy and healthy, meaningful friendships that last.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
I mean, it's crazy because you know that one makes
a lot of sense when I look at it. But
as someone who's single, you know, and doesn't live in
the same town as my parents, my family are my.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Friendriends well, our friend group is really good at seeing
each other right.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
And so I don't know that that graph necessarily applies
to me, but I can see how in general it
applies to most people. Because you know, your life is
pretty care free until you're eighteen, and then you go
off to college and responsibilities set in and you're starting
families of your own and all those things, so time
with friends becomes less of a priority. But for me,
(17:52):
you know, if if I'm not with friends, I'm alone.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Well right, me too, So my graph is.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
A little different. Like granted, like I'd have to quantify
with friends because it would have to be very different graphs.
Like obviously my high school friends, that graph really does
apply to me, yeah, because to speak to them. And
then I have New York friends and LA friends and
Nashville friends, and so I have I guess I have
(18:17):
different graphs, But I think that the key takeaway for
me there is is like to identify those that you
just can't live without and make sure to spend as
much time with or communicate with them as much as possible.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Well I like the depth, not Brett like it. I
do think as you get older or for me, this
is how it's worked. I've started to not have as
many acquaintances per se, like in your twenties and stuff.
Remember I'd be like, oh, I just want to go out,
so who can I do that with? And it's like
you would go up with the person who didn't barely
even knew, Like it was just I don't know, we
would just hang out with different kinds of people. Now,
(18:50):
I'm like, if I'm giving effort into a relationship or time,
because none of us have that much of that because
of work and responsibilities and all the things you mentioned.
I do think I need it to be someone who
I genuinely have a connection with, who is pouring into
me as much as I'm pouring into them, that we
can actually talk about real shit. We're not just like
going and getting drunk together like you in your twenties.
(19:12):
You know, like your relationships do change. But I do
think the depth piece is something to really consider as
you get older.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Yeah, times it with partner is the opposite, But that
actually goes to show if you're not happy in your
marriage or your relationship, like you're wasting a lot of
time because that trends upwards until death. So the key
takeaways there, he says, are, who you choose as your
partner is actually the most important decision you'll ever make.
Find someone you genuinely enjoy spending time with, never settle
(19:41):
for less than love.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Yeah, it's I mean, the end of that graph is
really sad too, because it's a steep drop off, which
means that death.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Yeah, well that's the inevitable that is not happening, but
we all will die.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
It's also interesting too, sort of. I mean, I don't
know how where they got the graphs from, but the
really sharp endclines is between like twenty four and thirty.
I wonder if that's like that that's the window when
most people get married.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Probably, yeah, that's you're right, because it rises a lot. Yeah,
it's probably like look like that. That's okay, though, everyone's
on their own journey. I've spent with children peaks in
your thirties, so that's I guess when people are having kids,
more decline sharply thereafter. Time with your children is short. Same,
that's the opposite of the parents. Obviously, slow down and
(20:34):
embrace the sweetness that children bring to your life. Co workers,
this is an interesting one. Steady during the prime working
years from twenty to sixty. But you spent a lot
of time with your coworkers.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Yes, it's the longest relationships that you have, really crazy
who the most steady? I guess. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Who you choose to work with is one of the
most important decisions you'll make as well. Find work and
coworkers that create energy in your life. We have an
interesting thing there too, though, because literally we work with
our best friends.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
True.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Yeah, and that's how my friends have become my friends.
It is from work.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Yeah. And depending on where you live, you might not
have as many options of you know, what you get
to do or or who you get to work with.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
True.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
So we're a bit of an anomaly there. But that said,
I think if you are able to choose to do
something that you love, you're probably going to end up
finding like minded people that you're going to get along with.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Really well, Time's going alone was a little weird too.
It says it steadily increases throughout your life, which I
can really think about is true, And my mom has
always said this, like the older you get, the more
clear it becomes. You remember, you came into this world alone,
and you're going to actually leave alone too, even if
(21:53):
you're surrounded by loved ones. Like, it's an experience that
we all go through by ourselves.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Right.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
So he says, learn to and a solitude, lecture, boredom, muscle,
regularly find happiness and joy in the time you have
to yourself. There will be a whole lot of it
as you get older. So in summary, One family time
is limited. Chairshit. Two friend time is limited. Prioritize real ones.
Three partner time is significant, never settle for children. Time
(22:21):
is precious, Be present. Five coworker time is significant. Find energy.
Six alone time is highest. Love yourself, damn and don't
get off your phone.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Get off your phones.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
I mean those are two a little bit separate topics
that at the point we're trying to make here is
like it really is starting to dawn on us how
unconscious we're moving through our lives sometimes and how much
time we're wasting on things that actually don't matter to us.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Well, you know, when you think about like the lifetime
of humanity and how new these like phones being in
our hands and having every touch of a button is,
you know, on that graph, it's such a small amount
of time. So we really don't know the shift that
this is going to have in humanity. And you know,
(23:10):
it feels like we're really connected because we're on Instagram
and Facebook and all the things that you know are
meant or designed to connect us, but we're really isolating ourselves.
You know. I do think there are lots of benefits
to it, too, Like I can stay in touch with friends,
that live in Europe of course because of this device,
and it makes it a lot easier than mailing a
letter and hoping it gets there one day. But I
(23:34):
think that the the major takeaway is that it's it's
a net loss of these things. You know, they might
make us a little bit more productive, but I think
they make us more isolated than connected.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Because I was thinking you said, so much of your
time is spent texting, and like, even with work stuff,
how often are you actually in a bad mood but
you're texting like you're not? You know, so you're not
actually being true. It's like when you're experience a person
in real life or even on the phone, you can
hear tone of voice, you can hear like you just
read energy better than you can do to like just
(24:11):
a text right totally, So.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
You can push and you can push down your emotions too,
when you actually probably need to sit in them for
a minute and feel them and work through them and
work through whatever it is it's putting you in that mood.
But you have to like be on and getting your
job done and all the things, or planning your night
out or whatever it is that you're doing, right, But
(24:36):
you know to lean into my word of the Year,
which was explore, Like I am. I need to sit
down and do some deep digging and figure out what
I'm gonna do to buy myself some more time for
me because these dating apps, I like every time I'm
on them, like it's there. I don't find them beneficial, like,
but I feel like I'm doing something. I feel like
(24:57):
I'm searching for my somebody. But I would probably be
better off like volunteering somewhere or even out at a bar,
like forcing myself through the disc activity, yeah, or doing
an activity, joining a sports team with some gates gaze,
you know, like sports ball, just doing something where I'm
(25:18):
interacting with people in a real way versus just putting
myself in like a window to be shopped, you know that.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Yeah, I used to when I was on apps, I
would set a limit, like I would set the timer
for ten minutes in the morning and then I would
do ten minutes at night. That's all I would do
because to me, it is the same thing as social media,
and I was like, I do not I do not
need another thing where I'm just scrolling and scrolling and scrolling.
I also found that the days where I wouldn't do that,
and I would let myself scroll. I would get so
depressed because it would like you, if you're continuing to scroll,
(25:50):
you're obviously not seeing anything you want and you're looking
for some sort of proof that that someone could be
out there. So it's like depressing if you're not finding it, you.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Know, yeah, yeah, and it's yeah, I think it's a
self fulfilling prophecy. It's east most of the time you're
not finding someone, right, you know, like literally n percent
of the time, it's not really working for you. And
then you're like, well, fuck, I just wasted two hours.
And sure, you know, at least, like if you're at
(26:21):
a bar and you don't meet somebody, you probably had fun.
You might have had some good conversations and had a
couple of drinks or whatever. I don't know. I need
to change some shit up in my life, is all
I know based on these statistics of my phone.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
So basically, we are are just inviting you guys to
go check your screen time like we did, give the
fascinating experience, and let us know what you come across too.
Like I just want to I think I am going
to set the timer again for my social media just
so it goes off because I am trying to be
more active on there for work purposes, but I also
(26:53):
don't need to fully scroll all the time, like I'm
just finding myself doing it and it's basically a waste
of time. So yeah, yeah, that's my new thing. If
you guys do try it and you want to let
us know, you can always email us at the Edge
at velvesedge dot com or you can hit us up
on the voicemail send us some voicemails. We're ready. You
(27:14):
can find that on my Instagram in the link at
the bio. It is at Velvet's Edge Chip.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
I'm at Chip door shot chp d O R s ch.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
And as you guys are going into the weekend and
you're living on the edge, I was gonna try to
be cute, but.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Stop my phone.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
If you're living, hopefully not living on your phone, I
hope you always remember to a casual bye.
Hey, Chip, I just sounded like my sister. That's how
she says it when I call her.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Lit up Chip, it's about to sing you a song.
So I did a podcast on Wednesday that the intuitive
told me that she kept picturing me behind a microphone
like emotionally belting out a song, and she's like, I
have now done this reading with you. Now I'm doing
this podcast with you, and that is not leaving me.
(00:29):
And I thought I said I'm not a singer though
in fact, on my Friday episodes with my co host,
we try to sing sometimes and we're terrible.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
You don't. I want to know something funny is I
was Actually I was in the studio yesterday with the
band Lula and ended up in the vocal booth doing
gang vocals on the chorus.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
What's a gang vocal?
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Like?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Similar to a gang bang?
Speaker 1 (00:51):
No? Well yeah, but everyone's singing, so it's like we
were the choir basically, So everyone that was happened to
be at the studio that at that time studio and
we sang harmonies.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Was she channeling your energy on me? Maybe do I
need to do a gang vocal?
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Maybe we need to add you?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I was dying laughing every time she says that. I'm like,
I mean, I definitely think that I'm in a phase
of learning how to express so I could see that,
but like actually singing by myself behind a mic, I
mean sorry to the audience.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
In advance karaoke.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Yeah, but you know I don't even really like to
do that anymore.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Yeah, but that doesn't mean you won't, I guess not
a shoot. So anyway, I'm always down.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
I'm just going to be singing for a week. My
homework is to sing a song by myself for five minutes,
just to like see what happens and see if it
opens anything up. So there you go.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
She gave you homework. Yes, oh wow.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
I love intuitives that give homework because it's been it's
like actually putting things, making things applicable in your life,
like actually putting them into practice.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Next week on the Velvet Edge, we're going to hear
the Day Be a single from.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Kelly Do you know what I?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Do?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
You know what? Song? I did today? After that podcast,
I was prepping for some other stuff and then I
was sitting in front of my computer and I did
Lisa Lobe stay.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Oh, I just added that to my karaoke list.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
For some reason, that has always been the one song.
When I was younger, I was like, maybe I kind
of sound like Lisa Lobe Like I thought maybe I could.
I think it's because I can stay on pitch with
her the whole entire time, Like I can hit all
the notes. Yeah, so in my head, I sound just
like her.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
It gets to be a bit tongue twistery at the end.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I know every word. Yeah, I know the part you're
talking about though.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Yeah, call me because you.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Want me and went to you let me go. Yeah,
you try to give away keep her anyway.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
That's a fun I got a fun little fact about
that song. It's the only independent Well it might that
this might not be a fact anymore because it's an
older song, but when it hit number one on the
pop chart, it was the first time an independent song
was number one on the pop chart because she wasn't
a record label. Oh really, Yeah, that song was on
the Reality Bite soundtrack. Yes, that was how I got
(03:05):
It was put out through a major label, but she
wasn't signed yet. She was Ethan Hawk's neighbor no way, Yeah,
she was his neighbor, and he put her on the soundtrack.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
My god, I used to love her.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Mm hmmm, I have that. I have her first album
on cassette. It's called the Purple Tape.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
That's what her cassette is.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Called, Yeah, because it was purple.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Oh oh my god, look at all these fun facts.
I didn't even know what I was opening Pandora's box
when I said, Lisa Lobe. Anyway, maybe I'll sing it
again later and I'll always know it to.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
You, my practice.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
That's not what we're actually here to talk about. We
actually both just did a really interesting experience experiment. So
if you are not driving, I would uh, is it
employ you? Is that how you say this? Poor implore? Wow,
I knew that wasn't right, but my brain's a little
dead today. I would implore you to take out your
phone open if you have an iPhone, go to your settings.
(04:03):
Then what do I do, Chip, I'm already forgot you.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Go to settings and look at screen screen time. Let
me see if I can find out for those Android users.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Android, Yes, if you're an Android user. So Chip texted
me and says, have you ever looked at your screen time?
Which of course I have, But now I choose to
live in denial. And not. But I'm kind of glad
you brought this back up to me because I do
feel like when I just let it free flow and
I'm not at all paying attention, it gets a little
(04:33):
out of hand. Did you want to, like tell us
some of your numbers?
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Chip, Yeah, so I was shocked. So my my daily
average is down this week to down twenty one percent
from last week to almost eight hours of use on
my phone seven hours and fifty one minutes. That's your
daily after that's the average daily. Yes, for yesterday, I
(04:58):
was on my phone ten hours in fifty three minutes
calling to me.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Does that include phone calls?
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Probably, but it's not. I don't talk on the phone
that much. I don't even see where phone is on.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
I don't actually know that it does. That's what's making
it worse because it says see all app and website activity.
My daily average is seven hours and thirty two minutes.
That's on apps and websites. Yeah, what's your highest it like,
what's your highest category?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
My most used category is mess I message so texting?
Are you sure?
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Did you press the most?
Speaker 1 (05:40):
It's just it's so it's social.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Not social as well? Does that include messages?
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Gossages messages fall into that. So oh, I spent a
whopping eleven seconds today on LinkedIn.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
I won't even have LinkedIn. What is your okay screen
time for social? What is yours for last week?
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Last week?
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Mine is shocking? I want to I don't even know
if I want to say it.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Oh my god, mine is I don't know if this
is collective. I don't know how to read it properly.
I'm looking at last week and it says eighteen hours
and sixteen minutes.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
But yeah, mine says seventeen hours and sixteen minutes.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Crazy, that must be total though, right of the week.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Yeah, my daily average is four hours and nineteen minutes.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Oh yeah, my daily average is four hours and thirty
four seconds.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Oh my god. So Chip and I got to talking
about this because we were just, I mean, we comments
about this all the time on this podcast, of just
how we kind of feel like we float through this
world or we're not fully paying attention to things. We're
just like driving the bus, I've going to work, the
hustle of all the things. And you actually sent me
a really interesting article. There was a couple, but this
(06:53):
one post from Mel Robbins. If you guys ever follow her,
but she's on Instagram. She said, on average, you will
spend twenty twenty years of your life just scrolling through
your phone. Imagine it's the end of your life and
someone says, would you like an extra twenty years and
your answer is nah, I'd rather have I'd rather have
spent twenty years scrolling mindlessly on my phone.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
I mean, it's it really puts it in perspective, like
big time. I know I use my phone a lot
for work, and I think so the text messaging has
a lot to do with work. But it's shocking to
me the differentiation between how much time I spend on
email on my phone versus text messaging. And you know,
(07:36):
a lot of work stuff now does well.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
We talked about that.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
I hate it. I hate texting for work, but you
just have to. It just is what it is, just
the world that we live in now. But it's it's
a huge difference between mail and texting. I would imagine
that I just do more of the emailing on my computer,
but I also I am running around a lot. I'm
not often just sitting at my desk.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
That's why I think I would shocked by your numbers
because I feel like you're either driving or running around
pretty consistently.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yeah, but I'm one of those bad people that is
on my phone a lot when I'm driving.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
I'm not a bad person. Don't talk about my friend
the way.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Well, I'm just like, it's not a smart thing to do,
and I recognize that, but I also do it, you know,
so I need to be better about it. Would you
just say when you're driving when I'm driving, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
That's to be better about that.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Yeah, I have to be better about it.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
I just think that it's so fascinating because it's such
a I had a somatic therapist once tell me that
motion that I'm doing. The motion right now, You guys
have like the scroll, Like the way we move our
finger up and down on the phone when we're scrolling
is a way that we calm our nervous system, which
I found fascinating because really it's yes, it's a way
(08:48):
we disassociate. And so the social media people specifically are
so brilliant because they have learned how to tap into
our addictive brain in our nervous systems. And so we're
sitting they're doing that scrolling motion after the like at
the end of a long day, or if you find
yourself doing it in between task or when you're on
the phone with someone and you like need to go
(09:09):
do that, really your nervous system is like, I'm overloaded,
is what that's saying.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Thingfore, no, we've never done so it's something that we've
adapted to.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Well, it's what you do on your phone. So before,
like when you only had MySpace on your computer, it
was different, but somehow, like that's how it's progressed in
our society now that we have such access to apps
on our phone, and that could be for dating apps,
that could be anything. It's like we always wonder why
these things are so addictive. There's obviously like the validation piece,
you know, the reward process that speaks to our brains
(09:42):
and our nervous systems. But I just thought that that's
so interesting about that motion, and so I have started
to try, like if I find myself having those days
where I'm just not able to not pick up my phone,
I'm like, what is going on? Like trying to ask
yourself the deeper question. But it's crazy how unconscious it is,
(10:02):
you know, like it's literally like that phantom even vibrate
thing that happens in the back pocket, or if you
if you see someone else pick up their phone and
they're checking it, like you have to check yours all
of a sudden, do you notice it.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
It's almost like an adult pacifier if you think about it,
because you know, when I walk in, if I'm like
early to a bar, a restaurant or something, it's like
my shield. Yeah, I can like look like I'm not alone,
I can disappear into something, and yeah, I tell myself, oh,
I can use this time to get some stuff done.
But if I look at the stats on my right,
(10:35):
for the most part, I'm probably not doing shit that's
worth doing, you know. Yeah, so you know I I
have to change something like this is shocking to me.
This is the first time I've ever looked at like
I had to google how to figure it out. And
by the way, if you're an Android user, what you
would do is you open your device's settings app and
(10:56):
then tap Digital well Being and Parental Controls, and there's
charts to show your ice US and then you should
throw away your phone again.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
On my phone, don't start them on those green pets.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
I can't.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
I can't hear that rant again. I will say, there
is something you can do on iPhones, And I did
have this set up for me for a while where
it was like, after an hour on your social media,
you would get it stops you. It like takes you
out of it, and it goes alert. You've been on
here for an hour. Let me tell you how fast
(11:29):
that comes in your day. There would be times where
I'm like, it's eight am, how am I already getting that?
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Like right?
Speaker 2 (11:34):
And so anyway, I wouldn't necessarily follow the rules, but
it was something that I had in place that did
help me actually be conscious of it more.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
I mean, does it not lock you out of the
app until the next.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Day, No, you can just close it out.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
See, there must be some way, like because of with
the parental control, you might have to go a little
deeper because there are parental controls that you can literally
lock them out.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
I mean, you sound like such an addict right now,
though when you hear yourself, I mean.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
No, truthfully, it's I would need something that extreme because
I would do exactly what you did. Ah fuck it,
Like in the same way that like when my alarm
goes off at six am, I hit snooze for an hour.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
We'll tell about that stat So I was.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Like, wait a minute, why have I used my clock
more than I used email that day? Well, because I like,
I hit snooze for an hour and so you're in
your clock is open the whole time that so it's
from like six am to seven am. The other day.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
I just can't The snooze thing is so bizarre to me.
I don't understand it because I'm like, just set your
alarm for seven, then why.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Then I would hit snooze till eight?
Speaker 2 (12:38):
But it's just such disrupted sleep, I guess, so I
don't feel rested after. It makes me feel worse if I'm.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Trying to shift my daily habits so that I wake
up earlier so that I can get like a dog
walk in, some meditation, some journaling and the gym, but
all before work. But it's really I know, it's really
hard to shift that because I'm used to standing up
really late, and waking up at six is really hard.
(13:07):
So I have started Now I put my phone in
the kitchen and an alarm clock in the kitchen, so
I have to get out of bed to turn them off.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Yeah, and then once you're out, it's like you're us
it seem as well, make a coffee while you're yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Right, and then once I want and you know, after
a few days of this, it will start to form
a habit where it's a lot easier just to get
up at that time because I actually really love being
up in the morning. I also happen to love sleeping,
so if I can sleep later, I do. But this
was a short tail sign, Like that's really embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
It's shocking.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
You were on your clock for an hour. Yeah, so
like what a lame app to be on the clock.
It's like what.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
You did. Send me another post that I thought was
really interesting because it really breaks down because when we
were talking about let me backtrack for a second, we
were talking about the phone. Then you were like, oh
my god, this is crazy. Think about all the time
we're missing with the people in our lives, like actually
interacting with real human beings, really truly connecting, not just
(14:10):
disassociating or thinking that being on social media is true connection.
Like we're missing relationships with the people in our lives.
And then you found this post. Do you want to
read it or do you want me to?
Speaker 1 (14:21):
You can start because there's several slides.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
So yeah, this is on tanks good news. But so
basically they're talking about how from the time we're born
until our death, there's different seasons that different relationships are
like priorities. So when you first start, obviously, like your
relationship with your parents and your siblings, like your immediate
(14:44):
family is high, but it peaks in childhood and then
it declines after the age of twenty. So the key
takeaways they say with this slide is time with family
is limited. Time with your parents declines sharply after age twenty.
You may only see your loved ones a few more times.
Prioritize and cherish every moment.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
I mean, it's wild you.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Talk about that one a lot, because you don't. I
was talking about recently, like my parents are actually moving
to Nashville, and I'm so grateful because even if I
see them once a week, it's more than I'm like,
we're seeing them now twice a year, three times a year,
you know, like not very often on holidays. And then
it's like as everyone gets older, you start to really
take that into consideration of like, oh my gosh, there's
(15:28):
not that much times if I keep on this routine
of how often I'm seeing them there's not many times
that I'm gonna see them.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Yeah, the closer the older we all get, the worse
it gets. And you know, you and I it's a
little different because we're both single without children, right Like
I think about with my sister, who actually lives a
lot closer to my parents and because of that gets
to see them more often. But the older her kids
are getting, the more complicated it is for her to
carve time out to go see my parents, of course,
because she's got softball games, running them around all and
(15:57):
running them around doctor's appointments, someone's sick and she doesn't
want to get my parents sick and all of the things.
And there's you know, there's a million reasons. Right Seeing
this post and seeing the graph is actually, like it's
kind of heartbreaking when you think about it, Like especially
for people that move away, Like I haven't lived where
I grew up since I was eighteen years old, right,
(16:18):
so the amount of time that I've gotten to spend
with my parents is diminished because of that. So I,
you know, I do make a very concerted effort to
try and get home several times a year, and if
there's a work excuse for me to be close to it,
like closer to the home. I'll try and build in
a trip home, even if it's for one night, because
I know how much it means to them, and when
(16:39):
they're gone, it'll mean even more to me. You know
that I put in that effort.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
For sure, and you embrace the time you have with them.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
This one says time spent with friends peaks at eighteen
and declines sharply to decline sharply to a low baseline.
Key takeaways embrace friendship, Brett, but focus on death up.
Cherish those who are with you through good and bad times.
Invest your energy and healthy, meaningful friendships that last.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
I mean, it's crazy because you know that one makes
a lot of sense when I look at it. But
as someone who's single, you know, and doesn't live in
the same town as my parents, my family are my.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Friendriends well, our friend group is really good at seeing
each other right.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
And so I don't know that that graph necessarily applies
to me, but I can see how in general it
applies to most people. Because you know, your life is
pretty care free until you're eighteen, and then you go
off to college and responsibilities set in and you're starting
families of your own and all those things, so time
with friends becomes less of a priority. But for me,
(17:52):
you know, if if I'm not with friends, I'm alone.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Well right, me too, So my graph is.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
A little different. Like granted, like I'd have to quantify
with friends because it would have to be very different graphs.
Like obviously my high school friends, that graph really does
apply to me, yeah, because to speak to them. And
then I have New York friends and LA friends and
Nashville friends, and so I have I guess I have
(18:17):
different graphs, But I think that the key takeaway for
me there is is like to identify those that you
just can't live without and make sure to spend as
much time with or communicate with them as much as possible.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Well I like the depth, not Brett like it. I
do think as you get older or for me, this
is how it's worked. I've started to not have as
many acquaintances per se, like in your twenties and stuff.
Remember I'd be like, oh, I just want to go out,
so who can I do that with? And it's like
you would go up with the person who didn't barely
even knew, Like it was just I don't know, we
would just hang out with different kinds of people. Now,
(18:50):
I'm like, if I'm giving effort into a relationship or time,
because none of us have that much of that because
of work and responsibilities and all the things you mentioned.
I do think I need it to be someone who
I genuinely have a connection with, who is pouring into
me as much as I'm pouring into them, that we
can actually talk about real shit. We're not just like
going and getting drunk together like you in your twenties.
(19:12):
You know, like your relationships do change. But I do
think the depth piece is something to really consider as
you get older.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Yeah, times it with partner is the opposite, But that
actually goes to show if you're not happy in your
marriage or your relationship, like you're wasting a lot of
time because that trends upwards until death. So the key
takeaways there, he says, are, who you choose as your
partner is actually the most important decision you'll ever make.
Find someone you genuinely enjoy spending time with, never settle
(19:41):
for less than love.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Yeah, it's I mean, the end of that graph is
really sad too, because it's a steep drop off, which
means that death.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Yeah, well that's the inevitable that is not happening, but
we all will die.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
It's also interesting too, sort of. I mean, I don't
know how where they got the graphs from, but the
really sharp endclines is between like twenty four and thirty.
I wonder if that's like that that's the window when
most people get married.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Probably, yeah, that's you're right, because it rises a lot. Yeah,
it's probably like look like that. That's okay, though, everyone's
on their own journey. I've spent with children peaks in
your thirties, so that's I guess when people are having kids,
more decline sharply thereafter. Time with your children is short. Same,
that's the opposite of the parents. Obviously, slow down and
(20:34):
embrace the sweetness that children bring to your life. Co workers,
this is an interesting one. Steady during the prime working
years from twenty to sixty. But you spent a lot
of time with your coworkers.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Yes, it's the longest relationships that you have, really crazy
who the most steady? I guess. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Who you choose to work with is one of the
most important decisions you'll make as well. Find work and
coworkers that create energy in your life. We have an
interesting thing there too, though, because literally we work with
our best friends.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
True.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Yeah, and that's how my friends have become my friends.
It is from work.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Yeah. And depending on where you live, you might not
have as many options of you know, what you get
to do or or who you get to work with.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
True.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
So we're a bit of an anomaly there. But that said,
I think if you are able to choose to do
something that you love, you're probably going to end up
finding like minded people that you're going to get along with.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Really well, Time's going alone was a little weird too.
It says it steadily increases throughout your life, which I
can really think about is true, And my mom has
always said this, like the older you get, the more
clear it becomes. You remember, you came into this world alone,
and you're going to actually leave alone too, even if
(21:53):
you're surrounded by loved ones. Like, it's an experience that
we all go through by ourselves.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Right.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
So he says, learn to and a solitude, lecture, boredom, muscle,
regularly find happiness and joy in the time you have
to yourself. There will be a whole lot of it
as you get older. So in summary, One family time
is limited. Chairshit. Two friend time is limited. Prioritize real ones.
Three partner time is significant, never settle for children. Time
(22:21):
is precious, Be present. Five coworker time is significant. Find energy.
Six alone time is highest. Love yourself, damn and don't
get off your phone.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Get off your phones.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
I mean those are two a little bit separate topics
that at the point we're trying to make here is
like it really is starting to dawn on us how
unconscious we're moving through our lives sometimes and how much
time we're wasting on things that actually don't matter to us.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Well, you know, when you think about like the lifetime
of humanity and how new these like phones being in
our hands and having every touch of a button is,
you know, on that graph, it's such a small amount
of time. So we really don't know the shift that
this is going to have in humanity. And you know,
(23:10):
it feels like we're really connected because we're on Instagram
and Facebook and all the things that you know are
meant or designed to connect us, but we're really isolating ourselves.
You know. I do think there are lots of benefits
to it, too, Like I can stay in touch with friends,
that live in Europe of course because of this device,
and it makes it a lot easier than mailing a
letter and hoping it gets there one day. But I
(23:34):
think that the the major takeaway is that it's it's
a net loss of these things. You know, they might
make us a little bit more productive, but I think
they make us more isolated than connected.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Because I was thinking you said, so much of your
time is spent texting, and like, even with work stuff,
how often are you actually in a bad mood but
you're texting like you're not? You know, so you're not
actually being true. It's like when you're experience a person
in real life or even on the phone, you can
hear tone of voice, you can hear like you just
read energy better than you can do to like just
(24:11):
a text right totally, So.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
You can push and you can push down your emotions too,
when you actually probably need to sit in them for
a minute and feel them and work through them and
work through whatever it is it's putting you in that mood.
But you have to like be on and getting your
job done and all the things, or planning your night
out or whatever it is that you're doing, right, But
(24:36):
you know to lean into my word of the Year,
which was explore, Like I am. I need to sit
down and do some deep digging and figure out what
I'm gonna do to buy myself some more time for
me because these dating apps, I like every time I'm
on them, like it's there. I don't find them beneficial, like,
but I feel like I'm doing something. I feel like
(24:57):
I'm searching for my somebody. But I would probably be
better off like volunteering somewhere or even out at a bar,
like forcing myself through the disc activity, yeah, or doing
an activity, joining a sports team with some gates gaze,
you know, like sports ball, just doing something where I'm
(25:18):
interacting with people in a real way versus just putting
myself in like a window to be shopped, you know that.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Yeah, I used to when I was on apps, I
would set a limit, like I would set the timer
for ten minutes in the morning and then I would
do ten minutes at night. That's all I would do
because to me, it is the same thing as social media,
and I was like, I do not I do not
need another thing where I'm just scrolling and scrolling and scrolling.
I also found that the days where I wouldn't do that,
and I would let myself scroll. I would get so
depressed because it would like you, if you're continuing to scroll,
(25:50):
you're obviously not seeing anything you want and you're looking
for some sort of proof that that someone could be
out there. So it's like depressing if you're not finding it, you.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Know, yeah, yeah, and it's yeah, I think it's a
self fulfilling prophecy. It's east most of the time you're
not finding someone, right, you know, like literally n percent
of the time, it's not really working for you. And
then you're like, well, fuck, I just wasted two hours.
And sure, you know, at least, like if you're at
(26:21):
a bar and you don't meet somebody, you probably had fun.
You might have had some good conversations and had a
couple of drinks or whatever. I don't know. I need
to change some shit up in my life, is all
I know based on these statistics of my phone.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
So basically, we are are just inviting you guys to
go check your screen time like we did, give the
fascinating experience, and let us know what you come across too.
Like I just want to I think I am going
to set the timer again for my social media just
so it goes off because I am trying to be
more active on there for work purposes, but I also
(26:53):
don't need to fully scroll all the time, like I'm
just finding myself doing it and it's basically a waste
of time. So yeah, yeah, that's my new thing. If
you guys do try it and you want to let
us know, you can always email us at the Edge
at velvesedge dot com or you can hit us up
on the voicemail send us some voicemails. We're ready. You
(27:14):
can find that on my Instagram in the link at
the bio. It is at Velvet's Edge Chip.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
I'm at Chip door shot chp d O R s ch.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
And as you guys are going into the weekend and
you're living on the edge, I was gonna try to
be cute, but.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Stop my phone.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
If you're living, hopefully not living on your phone, I
hope you always remember to a casual bye.
Host
Kelly Henderson
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