October 10, 2025 • 18 mins
After Kelly’s chat with celebrity trainer and author Andrea Leigh Rogers, she and Chip unpack why so many of us can’t sit still — and why rest somehow feels wrong even when we’re exhausted. They talk about how burnout became a lifestyle, the pressure to always be “doing,” and the guilt that hits when you actually try to slow down.
From endless to-do lists to feeling productive just to feel worthy, this episode is all about learning how to pause without feeling like you’re falling behind — and redefining what enough really means.
Check out Andrea's book HERE!
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HOSTS:
Kelly Henderson // @velvetsedge // velvetsedge.com
Chip Dorsch // @chipdorsch
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Chip, Hi, how are you. I'm doing well? Thank you
so much. How are you?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I'm good? So formal, it was so like we didn't
know each other.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
We are here. I'm actually kind of excited. First of all,
Chip's been listening to the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Hi, I love it.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Used to be like, oh, I haven't listened to that one,
and I'm like, okay, excuse me. How do we want
other people to listen? You're not even gonna listen.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Well, maybe it's because my life is too chaotic.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Oh I see what you did there.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Oh god, I like that a lot.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Yeah, that was a really great transition. So if you
guys listened to the podcast. On Wednesday, I had Andrea
Lee Rodgers on and she wrote a book called Small Moves,
Big Life. She's a celebrity trainer. She opened Extend Bar
like she is just a badass, does all the things.
But the book is about all the small things you
can do to change your life. And it doesn't like
(01:07):
it not having to be this big, overwhelming, grand gesture
that we all, I think believe is the thing that's
going to just make the biggest difference in our life.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Like our forty page uh New Year's resolution list. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
I still have one that's like, I mean, they date
back to probably two thousand on my phone.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
That's hilarious and also sow you to make this like unattainable,
completely unattainable list. But think to us to yourself at
the beginning of the year, like this is what I'm
gonna say.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I think it's always good to
have goals. Obviously we talk about that, and I want
to talk about the list thing a little bit too,
but really wrapping your brain around having the patience to
do small things that make the small little changes and
letting it take the time to then become the big
(02:00):
in your life. Like I want things right now, you know.
So it's like I want to work out one time
and look like I did when I was twenty five.
But it's not gonna happen. Who doesn't exactly, But so
what do I do instead? Oh, when I actually get disciplined,
I go to the gym every day, or what I'm
doing right now because after talking with Andrea Is, I
have committed to doing twenty minutes of movement every day,
(02:23):
like doesn't matter if it's a walk, if it's lifting
weights or whatever. I'm going to do something every day,
and I got to tell you, I'm starting to notice
a difference already. It's crazy.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Yeah, I mean just the energy it brings you and
what it does to your psyche. You know. It's like,
if you don't think of your person of yourself as
a person who runs, then you're never going to be
a runner. But if you get up and you go
and run down your block, and then the next day
you run two blocks, yeah, and then a week later.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
You've run a mile, you're a runner now.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
And you can tell yourself that. So in order to
be something, you have to do something.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Yeah, and it could be small, it doesn't You don't
have to start big. You don't have to run a
marathon and be like, I'm a runner now.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Yeah. I love that you just gave that example because
I do believe. In my younger life, and I don't
know if you feel like this. In my younger life,
I had more of that mentality. And I don't know
if it's because I played sports so I was more
used to things like that, or if this is a
cultural thing. This is why I'm asking you, But like
in our culture, now I feel like we're doing this
(03:28):
wild balancing act between wanting instant gratification or to then
constantly being burnout, Like so it's like we're overworking ourselves,
but also like we have these expectations that all things
are just gonna come to us all at the same
time or like really fast overnight, so we're constantly tired.
(03:48):
Like I guess the instant gratification desire is leading to
the burnout. Maybe yeah, But it's kind of wild that
we don't have the tolerance for the slow like building
and the patience to actually do the thing, to run
the one block, to run the two blocks the next day,
Like I want to run ten blocks, and I would
(04:08):
throw up if I probably did.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Well.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
You know, look, I think that life has changed a
lot since we were kids and had that sort of makeup.
We now we're in this comparison game twenty four hours
a day because of the phones in our hands, where
we're watching everyone else seemingly achieve everything they've ever set
their mind to, And I think it's hard for our
(04:34):
brains to separate each of those people. All we're seeing
is their wins, and it makes you when you see
fifteen of your friends have a different kind of win,
and you can't think of one win for yourself. Suddenly
you've diminished yourself and you don't know how long it
took each of those people to get what they were
doing or what the steps were. So it can be
(04:56):
sort of like a really cruel trick that our mind
is playing on because I can also look back and
be like, there was a day where I could not
run down my block. I had signed up for the
New York or the San Diego Marathon, and I couldn't.
I was winded before I got to the end of
my block. And six months later, I was running the marathon.
(05:17):
And if you had asked me on day two if
I was going to finish the marathon, the answer would
have been fuck no, like I'm going to die.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
But yet I finished it.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
So it's about the building blocks and the small things.
And you know, I had to change a lot in
my life, but I couldn't. I also couldn't change it
all in that day.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
You know.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Yeah, you make a really great point though about the comparison,
because like when you were saying that, the first thing
that popped in my brain is when I go to set,
like I'm a freelancer. Right, so if I'm not working,
I'm not making money and my job really does ebb
and flow with seasons. Some seasons are really really busy,
depending on like what artists have going on and then
(06:01):
if they release an album. Like this year, a lot
of my artists released albums, so like who knows what
all have going on next year?
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Right?
Speaker 1 (06:07):
You know, like it kind of works that way. Does
that mean I'm terrible at my job and blah blah? No,
but there's this weird pressure that comes with being busy
versus being slow in my world, like when I get
to set, the first thing most people ask is how
are you? Have you been busy? What if you just
need to say no, like no, actually yeah, I've been
(06:30):
grilling and gardening.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
I mean the truth is they would be jealous, see.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
But nobody acts like that. Our energy towards each other
is are you busy? And if you're busy, that means
oh great things must be it's peacocking.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Well you know, okay, I do think that there is.
It's like people want to think that they're busier than everybody.
You know, it's that they are doing more. So it's
I don't know, it's a. It's a cruel mind fuck
is high.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
That we put to being busy in success? Yeah, Like
that's kind of what I was taking away from Andrea
too in some weird ways, Like she's giving all these
little tips of what I would say earlier, like it's
how to work smarter, not harder all the time, which
wasn't what she said. But there's some things that I
took into my brain to kind of mean that, Like
(07:21):
if I don't have time to go to a full
workout class, I can still maximize the time I do
have and do squats while I'm warming up something in
the microwave, Like she said that was a tip, But
I don't have to like overextend myself to try to
get to that hour long workout class, Like you know
what I mean, Like it is about really trying to
(07:42):
find that balance and the things that work for you.
And then I think really having a relationship with yourself
about what expectations you put on your day and like
what actually makes you happy? What do you need for you?
Like specifically you not what anyone else is telling you
you need, but like what do you need for you?
Speaker 3 (08:02):
Well, I mean you're also going to stick with something
that makes you happy, that you enjoy doing, you know,
and look that could literally be doing nothing. Like if
if what is most important in your life is quieting
your mind right now, and it's not getting in shape
or whatever getting super healthy. If quieting your mind and
(08:22):
pulling back is what you need to do, then do that.
You know, if like you're doing if you're doing things
because other people are doing it, it might not be
the solution that you're looking for. I have a million
things on the list that I would like to do.
But when you look at someone, when you take Andrew
for example, and she's a multi hyphen it like, she
(08:44):
teaches workout classes, she owns a franchise gym, she's written
a book, she's a mother of two. She said that
she moved to New York City after a divorce with
two children and moved from a big, pretty house to
it to a tiny two bedroom apartment and didn't know anybody.
And I would say, I would argue that if someone
(09:06):
can can figure out how to make that situation work
and grow it into what she's grown it into. And
you know, I didn't have the pleasure of interviewing her,
so I don't know her, but she sounds like a lovely, happy, human,
well balanced human being. I think she's got some tricks
up her sleeve that we should all pay attention to.
(09:27):
And you know, we might not do them the exact
way that she's doing it, but it's so we can
hear what she's saying. For myself, this isn't a workout thing.
But if I'm on a conference call, I'll fold laundry
or do dishes because i need to get that shit done.
(09:51):
And otherwise I'm telling myself I'm too busy to do
it when I'm doing other work things, and then my
environment is.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Chaotic, which then makes you stressed more. Right, those are
the kind of things she's talking about. You're already doing
some of the tips that she was giving because you
had to do the conference call, right, but you would
just be sitting there and like that is one of
the benefits of this work at home thing that we
have now after COVID, that you can be doing other things.
(10:18):
It's not like you're not paying attention to the conference
call or doing the conference call. You're just mindlessly folding stuff.
I will ask you because I have noticed in my
life that women seem to be a little bit better.
I think we've talked about this on the podcast at Multitasking. Yeah,
than men, Do you find that doing more than like
doing the folding the laundry while you're doing the conference
(10:40):
call distracts you or.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
No, because that's mindless?
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Like Okay, where I'm jealous is you know, I'm on
a lot of conference calls with our friend Mary because
we work together.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Yeah, and I can watch her.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
On a zoom, look down at her phone, start responding
to text and emails, and like also be listening and
then come back on the zoom like she heard everything.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
And you all heard me.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
When Kelly calls me out for trying to text on
this if it involves reading and listening at the same time,
can't do it. I'm out, Like I can't. My brain
does not work that way. And I find that women's
brains work that way better. And I think it's like
there must be something maternal about it.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
It's just gonna say, because it's.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Like you have mother's historically had to like be able
to do whatever they were doing.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
But also like hear the kids a mile away, you.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Know, and like that the kids since non stop, right,
you have to keep doing what you're doing. And answer
the question of mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy. Yeah, like I
do totally agree with you that women maybe needed that
skill set a little more than men, and so in
our wiring it's just naturally happened.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Yeah, because I can't do it. But if it if
it comes to, like, you know, just a I call
it like a factory task where you don't have to
think about folding laundry, like I'm not thinking about it,
or doing dishes is or you know, even I'll walk
around my house dusting because I'll be on the phone
and I'll see some dust and I'm like, oh, time to.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Dust that I was on a conference call, Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
With my little duster.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
But it's true like dust anymore.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Oh my Well, I have two dogs that live in
my house. My back doors open a lot, so I
have to dust.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
But yeah, it's like I do those things that seem
like these massive tasks that I don't want to waste
my Saturday on. And you know, maybe I should switch
some of those to like doing squats or lunges or
something like that, or take a conference call while walking that.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
I do, like I will do calls when I'm walking
all the time. The only problem is if you get
out of breath right, So sometimes I have to stop
when I need to reply. The other thing that was
pinging to me when we were talking about the dust
thing is the reason I don't dust is because I
have someone who comes and helps me do those kind
of things, which I do totally get as a luxury,
but it is the thing that I have committed to
(12:58):
making sure that I can afford to do. It's very
important to me, Yeah, because I just know it wouldn't
get done because I'll start getting busy. And that's like
just like you're saying it would the pile of clothes
would just sit there or whatever. So there are different
things that I have decided to resource out, and I
actually think Andrea would approve of that, like that would
(13:20):
be a part of these small moves big kind of thing,
because if you can delegate certain things in your life
that you just know will be the thing that bogs
you down. Yeah, I think that can help. I wanted
to ask you about because I know you're a big
list guy. Do you find lists to be helpful to
you or do you find that they produce shame because
(13:42):
you make a list that's completely unattainable, but then when
you don't get it done, you feel bad about yourself.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
My answer is yes and no.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
I feel like I have to make lists because I
have so much coming at me all the time that
if I don't write something down, I'm definitely not can
I get it done. That said, I definitely add things
to my lists that are not very important that just
keep getting pushed down. And then the shame comes because
(14:11):
I'll look and I'll be and I'll date my lists
sometimes where I'm like, oh my god, this is from.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
February, you know.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Or I'll have more than one list and one day
I'll sit down and be like, I've got to consolidate
these lists so that I know what's most important. And
I'll look and I'll be like, oh my god, this
is from four months ago. I cannot believe this is
not done. But it's also like a reminder too sometimes,
like some shit just doesn't need to get done.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
You know, Like right, well, I've had that conversation where
you have to figure out what really like there's all
these things we want to get done all the time,
but really figuring out what needs to be prioritized and
actually get done in that day is like very important
as a successful human to be able to do and
(14:56):
then to let go and though like, okay, that'll still
be there tomorrow, but that's it's okay, Like it's okay
if that's there tomorrow. One of the things Andrea did
say to me, though, was about when you have the
list and then you don't get it done and you're
like almost procrastinating some of the things, which I don't
think is what you were just describing, but let's say
that you were like, it's on a list, it's weighing
(15:17):
on you. This is something I do with invoicing, for instance, yes,
or paperwork, and she was like, if you would just
sit down and do it right after your job, She's like,
the amount of weight you would get lifted from your
shoulders would be epic. And it's so true because the
second I actually do get all that stuff done, I
feel great. But because I let myself get so far behind,
(15:38):
there isn't usually like a reprieve that I'm finding consistently.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Also carry dread of doing it, and then.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
I carry dread You're so right, and it builds up
to where there's multiple so it ends up taking me
a full day versus an hour. You know, it's just
like those things and keeping up just like do the thing,
like do the thing that you don't want to do,
but take the time, do it, check, get off the list,
and that will probably produce a much more happy life.
But that does come also with you figuring out what
(16:07):
needs to be prioritized. I think you were saying there
was like the three that she meant.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
Yes, she mentioned something about like the do her do
the thing list where she started off with like what
are the three things? She would wake up in the
morning and be like, what are the three things that
I want to accomplish today? Okay, and it just makes
your life so much easier when you prioritize the things.
And then she's like, once you get in that flow,
then you can add a fourth thing or a fifth thing.
(16:31):
And you know, if one of the things is take
a nap, then put it on your list.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
That's what I was going to say earlier when you
were talking about the list. What I've started doing in
my calendar is scheduling out down time. Yeah, knowing when
even like if it's to meditate or if I know
I need to take like I want to take a
long bath, at a certain day or whatever, Like that's
one of the ways I rejuvenate, and I put that
in my calendar so that nothing gets filled into this
(16:59):
part to the day or whatever or the night even
but like, yeah, so that I prioritize it enough because
it's scheduled, like I'm doing air quotes right now, Like
it's scheduled, you know, which sounds crazy, But the first
thing that goes when I get busy is myself. Like
I neglect myself first, and I think most people are.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Like, got you buying time back for yourself?
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Look at you giving it an air. I love that well. Andrea,
to me was such a helpful guest and I love
people with tangible tips. So if you guys haven't listened
to that podcast, go check it out. I will also
put her books Small Moves, Big Life in the description
of this podcast. Again it's full of tips. She has
quick and easy workouts you guys can do as well.
(17:41):
So I just find her to be like you said,
she has so many things on her list and the
fact that she's able to get the stuff done. She
has something figured out. So go check her out and
you guys can always email us what your thoughts are
on that at the edge at velvetedge dot com. You
can hit me up on Instagram. I'm at velvet sev.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Edge Chip, I'm at chip DOORSH. It's c H I
P d R S c H.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
And as you guys go into the weekend and you're
living on the edge, I hope you always remember
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Too add casual Bye bye
Chip, Hi, how are you. I'm doing well? Thank you
so much. How are you?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I'm good? So formal, it was so like we didn't
know each other.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
We are here. I'm actually kind of excited. First of all,
Chip's been listening to the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Hi, I love it.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Used to be like, oh, I haven't listened to that one,
and I'm like, okay, excuse me. How do we want
other people to listen? You're not even gonna listen.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Well, maybe it's because my life is too chaotic.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Oh I see what you did there.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Oh god, I like that a lot.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Yeah, that was a really great transition. So if you
guys listened to the podcast. On Wednesday, I had Andrea
Lee Rodgers on and she wrote a book called Small Moves,
Big Life. She's a celebrity trainer. She opened Extend Bar
like she is just a badass, does all the things.
But the book is about all the small things you
can do to change your life. And it doesn't like
(01:07):
it not having to be this big, overwhelming, grand gesture
that we all, I think believe is the thing that's
going to just make the biggest difference in our life.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Like our forty page uh New Year's resolution list. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
I still have one that's like, I mean, they date
back to probably two thousand on my phone.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
That's hilarious and also sow you to make this like unattainable,
completely unattainable list. But think to us to yourself at
the beginning of the year, like this is what I'm
gonna say.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I think it's always good to
have goals. Obviously we talk about that, and I want
to talk about the list thing a little bit too,
but really wrapping your brain around having the patience to
do small things that make the small little changes and
letting it take the time to then become the big
(02:00):
in your life. Like I want things right now, you know.
So it's like I want to work out one time
and look like I did when I was twenty five.
But it's not gonna happen. Who doesn't exactly, But so
what do I do instead? Oh, when I actually get disciplined,
I go to the gym every day, or what I'm
doing right now because after talking with Andrea Is, I
have committed to doing twenty minutes of movement every day,
(02:23):
like doesn't matter if it's a walk, if it's lifting
weights or whatever. I'm going to do something every day,
and I got to tell you, I'm starting to notice
a difference already. It's crazy.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Yeah, I mean just the energy it brings you and
what it does to your psyche. You know. It's like,
if you don't think of your person of yourself as
a person who runs, then you're never going to be
a runner. But if you get up and you go
and run down your block, and then the next day
you run two blocks, yeah, and then a week later.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
You've run a mile, you're a runner now.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
And you can tell yourself that. So in order to
be something, you have to do something.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Yeah, and it could be small, it doesn't You don't
have to start big. You don't have to run a
marathon and be like, I'm a runner now.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Yeah. I love that you just gave that example because
I do believe. In my younger life, and I don't
know if you feel like this. In my younger life,
I had more of that mentality. And I don't know
if it's because I played sports so I was more
used to things like that, or if this is a
cultural thing. This is why I'm asking you, But like
in our culture, now I feel like we're doing this
(03:28):
wild balancing act between wanting instant gratification or to then
constantly being burnout, Like so it's like we're overworking ourselves,
but also like we have these expectations that all things
are just gonna come to us all at the same
time or like really fast overnight, so we're constantly tired.
(03:48):
Like I guess the instant gratification desire is leading to
the burnout. Maybe yeah, But it's kind of wild that
we don't have the tolerance for the slow like building
and the patience to actually do the thing, to run
the one block, to run the two blocks the next day,
Like I want to run ten blocks, and I would
(04:08):
throw up if I probably did.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Well.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
You know, look, I think that life has changed a
lot since we were kids and had that sort of makeup.
We now we're in this comparison game twenty four hours
a day because of the phones in our hands, where
we're watching everyone else seemingly achieve everything they've ever set
their mind to, And I think it's hard for our
(04:34):
brains to separate each of those people. All we're seeing
is their wins, and it makes you when you see
fifteen of your friends have a different kind of win,
and you can't think of one win for yourself. Suddenly
you've diminished yourself and you don't know how long it
took each of those people to get what they were
doing or what the steps were. So it can be
(04:56):
sort of like a really cruel trick that our mind
is playing on because I can also look back and
be like, there was a day where I could not
run down my block. I had signed up for the
New York or the San Diego Marathon, and I couldn't.
I was winded before I got to the end of
my block. And six months later, I was running the marathon.
(05:17):
And if you had asked me on day two if
I was going to finish the marathon, the answer would
have been fuck no, like I'm going to die.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
But yet I finished it.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
So it's about the building blocks and the small things.
And you know, I had to change a lot in
my life, but I couldn't. I also couldn't change it
all in that day.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
You know.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Yeah, you make a really great point though about the comparison,
because like when you were saying that, the first thing
that popped in my brain is when I go to set,
like I'm a freelancer. Right, so if I'm not working,
I'm not making money and my job really does ebb
and flow with seasons. Some seasons are really really busy,
depending on like what artists have going on and then
(06:01):
if they release an album. Like this year, a lot
of my artists released albums, so like who knows what
all have going on next year?
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Right?
Speaker 1 (06:07):
You know, like it kind of works that way. Does
that mean I'm terrible at my job and blah blah? No,
but there's this weird pressure that comes with being busy
versus being slow in my world, like when I get
to set, the first thing most people ask is how
are you? Have you been busy? What if you just
need to say no, like no, actually yeah, I've been
(06:30):
grilling and gardening.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
I mean the truth is they would be jealous, see.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
But nobody acts like that. Our energy towards each other
is are you busy? And if you're busy, that means
oh great things must be it's peacocking.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Well you know, okay, I do think that there is.
It's like people want to think that they're busier than everybody.
You know, it's that they are doing more. So it's
I don't know, it's a. It's a cruel mind fuck
is high.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
That we put to being busy in success? Yeah, Like
that's kind of what I was taking away from Andrea
too in some weird ways, Like she's giving all these
little tips of what I would say earlier, like it's
how to work smarter, not harder all the time, which
wasn't what she said. But there's some things that I
took into my brain to kind of mean that, Like
(07:21):
if I don't have time to go to a full
workout class, I can still maximize the time I do
have and do squats while I'm warming up something in
the microwave, Like she said that was a tip, But
I don't have to like overextend myself to try to
get to that hour long workout class, Like you know
what I mean, Like it is about really trying to
(07:42):
find that balance and the things that work for you.
And then I think really having a relationship with yourself
about what expectations you put on your day and like
what actually makes you happy? What do you need for you?
Like specifically you not what anyone else is telling you
you need, but like what do you need for you?
Speaker 3 (08:02):
Well, I mean you're also going to stick with something
that makes you happy, that you enjoy doing, you know,
and look that could literally be doing nothing. Like if
if what is most important in your life is quieting
your mind right now, and it's not getting in shape
or whatever getting super healthy. If quieting your mind and
(08:22):
pulling back is what you need to do, then do that.
You know, if like you're doing if you're doing things
because other people are doing it, it might not be
the solution that you're looking for. I have a million
things on the list that I would like to do.
But when you look at someone, when you take Andrew
for example, and she's a multi hyphen it like, she
(08:44):
teaches workout classes, she owns a franchise gym, she's written
a book, she's a mother of two. She said that
she moved to New York City after a divorce with
two children and moved from a big, pretty house to
it to a tiny two bedroom apartment and didn't know anybody.
And I would say, I would argue that if someone
(09:06):
can can figure out how to make that situation work
and grow it into what she's grown it into. And
you know, I didn't have the pleasure of interviewing her,
so I don't know her, but she sounds like a lovely, happy, human,
well balanced human being. I think she's got some tricks
up her sleeve that we should all pay attention to.
(09:27):
And you know, we might not do them the exact
way that she's doing it, but it's so we can
hear what she's saying. For myself, this isn't a workout thing.
But if I'm on a conference call, I'll fold laundry
or do dishes because i need to get that shit done.
(09:51):
And otherwise I'm telling myself I'm too busy to do
it when I'm doing other work things, and then my
environment is.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Chaotic, which then makes you stressed more. Right, those are
the kind of things she's talking about. You're already doing
some of the tips that she was giving because you
had to do the conference call, right, but you would
just be sitting there and like that is one of
the benefits of this work at home thing that we
have now after COVID, that you can be doing other things.
(10:18):
It's not like you're not paying attention to the conference
call or doing the conference call. You're just mindlessly folding stuff.
I will ask you because I have noticed in my
life that women seem to be a little bit better.
I think we've talked about this on the podcast at Multitasking. Yeah,
than men, Do you find that doing more than like
doing the folding the laundry while you're doing the conference
(10:40):
call distracts you or.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
No, because that's mindless?
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Like Okay, where I'm jealous is you know, I'm on
a lot of conference calls with our friend Mary because
we work together.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Yeah, and I can watch her.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
On a zoom, look down at her phone, start responding
to text and emails, and like also be listening and
then come back on the zoom like she heard everything.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
And you all heard me.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
When Kelly calls me out for trying to text on
this if it involves reading and listening at the same time,
can't do it. I'm out, Like I can't. My brain
does not work that way. And I find that women's
brains work that way better. And I think it's like
there must be something maternal about it.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
It's just gonna say, because it's.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Like you have mother's historically had to like be able
to do whatever they were doing.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
But also like hear the kids a mile away, you.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Know, and like that the kids since non stop, right,
you have to keep doing what you're doing. And answer
the question of mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy. Yeah, like I
do totally agree with you that women maybe needed that
skill set a little more than men, and so in
our wiring it's just naturally happened.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Yeah, because I can't do it. But if it if
it comes to, like, you know, just a I call
it like a factory task where you don't have to
think about folding laundry, like I'm not thinking about it,
or doing dishes is or you know, even I'll walk
around my house dusting because I'll be on the phone
and I'll see some dust and I'm like, oh, time to.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Dust that I was on a conference call, Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
With my little duster.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
But it's true like dust anymore.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Oh my Well, I have two dogs that live in
my house. My back doors open a lot, so I
have to dust.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
But yeah, it's like I do those things that seem
like these massive tasks that I don't want to waste
my Saturday on. And you know, maybe I should switch
some of those to like doing squats or lunges or
something like that, or take a conference call while walking that.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
I do, like I will do calls when I'm walking
all the time. The only problem is if you get
out of breath right, So sometimes I have to stop
when I need to reply. The other thing that was
pinging to me when we were talking about the dust
thing is the reason I don't dust is because I
have someone who comes and helps me do those kind
of things, which I do totally get as a luxury,
but it is the thing that I have committed to
(12:58):
making sure that I can afford to do. It's very
important to me, Yeah, because I just know it wouldn't
get done because I'll start getting busy. And that's like
just like you're saying it would the pile of clothes
would just sit there or whatever. So there are different
things that I have decided to resource out, and I
actually think Andrea would approve of that, like that would
(13:20):
be a part of these small moves big kind of thing,
because if you can delegate certain things in your life
that you just know will be the thing that bogs
you down. Yeah, I think that can help. I wanted
to ask you about because I know you're a big
list guy. Do you find lists to be helpful to
you or do you find that they produce shame because
(13:42):
you make a list that's completely unattainable, but then when
you don't get it done, you feel bad about yourself.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
My answer is yes and no.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
I feel like I have to make lists because I
have so much coming at me all the time that
if I don't write something down, I'm definitely not can
I get it done. That said, I definitely add things
to my lists that are not very important that just
keep getting pushed down. And then the shame comes because
(14:11):
I'll look and I'll be and I'll date my lists
sometimes where I'm like, oh my god, this is from.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
February, you know.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Or I'll have more than one list and one day
I'll sit down and be like, I've got to consolidate
these lists so that I know what's most important. And
I'll look and I'll be like, oh my god, this
is from four months ago. I cannot believe this is
not done. But it's also like a reminder too sometimes,
like some shit just doesn't need to get done.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
You know, Like right, well, I've had that conversation where
you have to figure out what really like there's all
these things we want to get done all the time,
but really figuring out what needs to be prioritized and
actually get done in that day is like very important
as a successful human to be able to do and
(14:56):
then to let go and though like, okay, that'll still
be there tomorrow, but that's it's okay, Like it's okay
if that's there tomorrow. One of the things Andrea did
say to me, though, was about when you have the
list and then you don't get it done and you're
like almost procrastinating some of the things, which I don't
think is what you were just describing, but let's say
that you were like, it's on a list, it's weighing
(15:17):
on you. This is something I do with invoicing, for instance, yes,
or paperwork, and she was like, if you would just
sit down and do it right after your job, She's like,
the amount of weight you would get lifted from your
shoulders would be epic. And it's so true because the
second I actually do get all that stuff done, I
feel great. But because I let myself get so far behind,
(15:38):
there isn't usually like a reprieve that I'm finding consistently.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Also carry dread of doing it, and then.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
I carry dread You're so right, and it builds up
to where there's multiple so it ends up taking me
a full day versus an hour. You know, it's just
like those things and keeping up just like do the thing,
like do the thing that you don't want to do,
but take the time, do it, check, get off the list,
and that will probably produce a much more happy life.
But that does come also with you figuring out what
(16:07):
needs to be prioritized. I think you were saying there
was like the three that she meant.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
Yes, she mentioned something about like the do her do
the thing list where she started off with like what
are the three things? She would wake up in the
morning and be like, what are the three things that
I want to accomplish today? Okay, and it just makes
your life so much easier when you prioritize the things.
And then she's like, once you get in that flow,
then you can add a fourth thing or a fifth thing.
(16:31):
And you know, if one of the things is take
a nap, then put it on your list.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
That's what I was going to say earlier when you
were talking about the list. What I've started doing in
my calendar is scheduling out down time. Yeah, knowing when
even like if it's to meditate or if I know
I need to take like I want to take a
long bath, at a certain day or whatever, Like that's
one of the ways I rejuvenate, and I put that
in my calendar so that nothing gets filled into this
(16:59):
part to the day or whatever or the night even
but like, yeah, so that I prioritize it enough because
it's scheduled, like I'm doing air quotes right now, Like
it's scheduled, you know, which sounds crazy, But the first
thing that goes when I get busy is myself. Like
I neglect myself first, and I think most people are.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Like, got you buying time back for yourself?
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Look at you giving it an air. I love that well. Andrea,
to me was such a helpful guest and I love
people with tangible tips. So if you guys haven't listened
to that podcast, go check it out. I will also
put her books Small Moves, Big Life in the description
of this podcast. Again it's full of tips. She has
quick and easy workouts you guys can do as well.
(17:41):
So I just find her to be like you said,
she has so many things on her list and the
fact that she's able to get the stuff done. She
has something figured out. So go check her out and
you guys can always email us what your thoughts are
on that at the edge at velvetedge dot com. You
can hit me up on Instagram. I'm at velvet sev.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Edge Chip, I'm at chip DOORSH. It's c H I
P d R S c H.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
And as you guys go into the weekend and you're
living on the edge, I hope you always remember
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Too add casual Bye bye
Host
Kelly Henderson
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