Ladies Beware...Men Try To Hook Up Here

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
All right, now, I loveingenuity, I love you know nuance,
but this may be too much here. In this episode of Tell You What,
they're saying one and eight guys underthe age of thirty five have condoms
ready at funerals. At funerals,what are they expecting to do? One

(00:25):
eight guys under the age of thirtyfive, They admit to specifically bringing a
condom to a funeral, like it'sa wedding just in case. Okay,
to be fair up at a funeral? H God, let the dead body.

(00:48):
You guys are so wild. No, listen to me. To be
fair, I am sure that oneand eight guys in general just keep a
condom on them at all times eitherway where they're going point, it just
happens to be that the fingers weknow, eggs, you would go on,
No, what is your experience here? What I don't happen? I

(01:11):
don't mean like in the worst,I'm just saying, how do you know
this? Like I mean, doyou have friends? I mean no,
I am making some funeral, butI think that they just keep it with
them always, And it just sohappens that you know, they've got a
funeral on Tuesday, and so it'sjust the one that they always keep on
them is just there. At leastthey're using protection. Yeah, they're being

(01:32):
responsible. Like one in four millennialssay they brought protection to their high school
reunion. See, those are theones that were like, not you looking
back in the day and all ofa sudden they're like, damn, I'm
hot, now let's go really,or or they just think people are desperate.
Now there's some. I'm sure Ican't imagine hooking up at a few

(01:55):
because if you are at a funeral, you choose to be there because you're
morning. I don't think you could. Okay, if you're in a family
and you're standing there next to whoeveryou just lost, and then you're looking
over, Hey, you know whatI mean is you're carrying a casket down
but okay, the graveyard. Butsome of those women look really nice at

(02:16):
funerals. You black dress on,you know what I mean. They're done
up, they got their makeup on, they're vulnerable. Okay. But also
also though I think most importantly isI think that we can assume that these
people are not hooking up at thefuneral. What on the casket? No,
I don't think they're actually doing itthere. I think that maybe either're

(02:38):
like, okay, well you knowit's two pm. You want to go
get dinner or something. No,that's what Yeah, that's what they're doing.
Yeah. Yeah, So they're notlike hooking up. Yeah no,
no, no, no, they'rejust like sitting there, you know,
hanging out, having the obligatory Lutheranham sandwiches and coffee, going okay,
um, you're hot, you know, and I'm sorry about your grandma.

(02:59):
I just wondering if you want there'sa closet I couldn't see now because my
grandma passed away in December and Ihad a really nice black dress, black
shoes, hair up, necklace.Right then we went to Legion and my
family got smashed because that's what youdo, and we shared memories. So
drinking what I mean that that's onething. Hucking up so I could see

(03:20):
if I was single, and allof a sudden, I'm like, oh
my gosh, I haven't seen youwill No, not my cousin. So
like people who I haven't seen along time, why him? Like okay,
my cousin has a best guy friend, no named Robbie, right,

(03:45):
and he wasn't Yeah, he wasat the funeral. He's so hot.
Now he's married and has a baby, and I'm engaged. But now he's
her baby. I hadn't seen himin a long time, and he knew
Grandma very well. Kid's name isdeath. There's got to be like better
names that allude to death that aren'tjust death. I could see you've gone

(04:09):
to funerals before. Yeah, I'veseen cute girls. Yes they're done up,
but yeah, but I don't.There's no way I would. There's
just no way before that. Itdoesn't inspire youlde Hyde by the way I
go. And if it's in thefuneral home, like the smell, the

(04:31):
event, the ceremony or whatever.It's not in a church. I could
funeral homes. I don't know whatI smell them there, but I smell
it and it's no, it's notdead body. It's like it probably is.
It's like ammonia or it's a it'sjust that smell of a funeral home.
And it doesn't turn me on.It's not like I'd be sitting there
going, man, it should havebrought a condom. Did you ever dissect

(04:53):
like a frog or anything in school? Yeah, that was it. That's
kind of pemmonia kind of for that. Yeah, yeah, that's always nice
for your eighth grade nostrils. Yep, you know, sucking that stuff.
And I don't recall wearing a mask. No, Rose, I don't know,
dude. I just thought that thiswas a line that didn't need to
be Well didn't they do it?Wasn't written? Was it? Wedding crashers?

(05:15):
And at the very end they decidedto do funeral crashing, So you
just kind of show up at afuneral to be the comfort, the shoulder
to cry on, even though youdon't really know, you know, Gramma
Jean that died, but maybe youcan say that you did. It.
Was Owen Wilson in that movie too, must have been Yeah, but I
think that was when who was it? Maybe it was Owen Wilson at the
time, Vince Bond, I thinkas the one who decided to go Okay,

(05:35):
yeah, I remember those two andwedding Crashers. I guess that sequel
must have been really something. No, No, it was when it Will
Farrell. He was like, hey, if you're done crashing weddings because you
lost your friend, we can gocrash funerals. I just forgot which one
went with remember because the other onefound love and they were like, oh,
grab a deep Jean, she wasso wonderful fairy. They nailed Graham

(06:00):
Gane. No, just one ofthe hot, so wonderful, one of
the hot cousins. I think Ithink that a funeral they nailed. This
is so gross. But but likeSam said, the cousin with a cousin,
No, no, you just meanhonously a cousin with a cousin.
You got with your cousin and it'syour cousin. Don't you have like the

(06:23):
same last name or so our momshave the same maiden name. But this
relations Okay. I feel like funeralswould be easier to crash the weddings.
Oh no, I don't think so. I think anyone could go to the
funeral. Anyone go to a wedding, Yeah, you're you're invited. You.
Yeah. For weddings, you havea seating chart and everything's very counted

(06:43):
out, individual guests and tears play. Funerals are like see, but you
got to go at the right timeto crash the weddings, right when the
dance starts. Then you just kindof mosey on in there and people are
like, oh my god, You'relike, hey, what's that, Emily?
Oh no, what was that?Oh yeah, what was that?
Abby? Nice to me. Yousound like you've crashed weddings. Before we
went to one, we were toldin the lobby that we could go.

(07:04):
That's some random person. Oh yeah, that's that's that's some that I could
be here. So here I am. I got invited. I brought my
condoms. Let's go any dead peoplehere? There was no action. There's
another episode. Oh, I tellyou what. You'll find more in the
iHeart Radio app and anywhere else thatyou find podcasts. There's a big deal.

(07:27):
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do die, we'll show up atyour funeral with robbers.