Dr. Wendy is covering Workplace Rudeness, A Simple Step to Mental Health, and what is Digital Hygiene? It's all on KFIAM-640!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is Doctor Wendy Walsh and you're listening to KFI
AM six forty the Doctor Wendy wallsh Show on demand
on the iHeartRadio App.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on AM.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Six forty Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio App. I had
to tell you something. When I was young, and I
had so many jobs. I worked everything from retail to
bars and restaurants. I think my most weirdest job, I mean,
just sort of a typical job in my twenties, I
worked for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police in their Historical
(00:33):
Archive division. So I'm working for the police, which are
kind of like our FBI and CIA altogether, and I
had to go through old case files and I had
to decide. I had a bunch of criteria if they
were historically significant, and whether they should be saved or
whether they should be discarded. So I honestly, I could
make a whole TV series, a true crime series on
(00:55):
some of.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Those files that I read.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Anyway, I've had lots of jobs, and one of the
things I recall is that when I was young, people
were often very rude to me at work. Now, either
it was because I was just so young and beautiful.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Which I was.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
I'm sorry, I did nothing I did, Okay, don't blame me,
don't shoot the messenger. I just I was born that way.
Thank you to whoever you believe in the universe, God,
whatever for my genes. Maybe they were intimidated some of
these bosses, or maybe there are people that just wheeld
their power over young people they think they can be
rude to them. So my youngest daughter, you know, she's
(01:37):
slightly on the spectrum, it's not neurotypical. She's so interesting though,
And she was working at retail job and a customer
asked for a certain product, So she went over to
her manager and said, Hey, where do I find the
And the manager said, I'm going to let you look
for it since you work here. When my daughter told
(01:58):
me that story, I wanted to entering that woman's neck.
I mean, here's this kid who finally got through high
school and got eventually an esthetician license and training and
cares about skincare. And I'll tell you where they're at
ney Is Lady anyway. So I just don't think people
(02:20):
should be rude at work, are anywhere. I mean, if
we can't find a way to be polite. Now, it's
possible to be direct and honest because the true skill
of communication is to be one hundred percent honest and
at the same time one hundred percent kind, understanding that
somebody is hearing this and your words are going to
(02:41):
have an impact on them.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Right.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Unfortunately, the culture in today's country here, when we have
politicians who are being so rude to each other, rude
to adversaries, and publicly putting it on social media, it's
hard to teach people that being kind is important. But
in the workplace there is no room for rudeness, and
(03:09):
some people think of rude behavior as just being part
of the job. Well, there's new research that shows that
even like being lightly uncivil can lead to serious consequences,
including some mistakes that can put somebody's life at risk.
Stay with me now, so we know what rutless looks
like at work, right. People who interrupt, they ignore emails,
(03:33):
they talk down to someone in front of colleagues. You know,
when I was co host of the show The Doctors,
I won't say who. We had a lot of doctors
on that show, but one of the doctors didn't like
me for whatever reason. I have no idea and this doctor,
whenever I spoke to them, literally would just ignore me
like I hadn't even said anything at work. Can you
imagine it hurt me so badly?
Speaker 2 (03:56):
I wrote this.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Person emails that went unresponded to. Then I'd say, well,
maybe didn't get my email. Speak with this person in public,
and they would just keep walking like I didn't even exist.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Terrible.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Well, according to new research out of the University of Florida,
rudeness at work isn't just an interpersonal annoyance.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
It can be very dangerous.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Now. This research was published in the Journal of Applied Psychology,
and the study found that rude behavior significantly impairs job performance,
especially in high stakes environments like oh hospitals emergency response teams.
The researcher's discovered that rudeness can reduce a medical team's
(04:35):
functionality by up to forty four percent.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
I'm sorry, but.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
If I'm the one lying on the table needing to
be attended to, you guys better be nice to each other. Okay,
but you know, damage doesn't just stop in the er.
In any workplace, it can kill cooperation, It breeds selfish behavior,
It reduces the idea that you're supposed to be focusing
(04:59):
on a task to get other and more than anything,
it erodes trust in the team. If people feel disrespected,
their brains go into threat mode, right, and they get
this emotional hijacking, so they'll miss details, they'll shout down
each other.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Right, So what can you do about it?
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Well, if you're leading a team or just trying to
survive in a team, here are some simple things. First
of all, you've got to model the respectful behavior no
matter what you see going on around you. It is
your job to lead with a positive tone and nice
kind body language, no arms crossed with chest, no hands
on hips, right, and cut out the subtle rudeness gently
(05:42):
but firmly. So if somebody does say something snarky, like,
for instance, that retail boss to my daughter, I wish
my daughter had had the self esteem to say, hey,
that didn't feel great. Just letting them know like that
is not cool.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Right.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Also, if you're a manager of foster psychological safety, which
means the research shows that teams perform way better when
people feel safe to speak up, So make sure that
you can draw all the intelligence out of the entire group.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Right.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
And if you're on the receiving end. I'm so sorry.
Just take a deep breath, set some boundaries. Try as
hard as you can to not let a coworker's rudeness
chip away at your own self worth, because your dignity matters.
So look, being rude anywhere is not okay at the workplace.
It's more than unpleasant. It's a productivity killer, and in
(06:37):
some jobs, like in the medical profession, it can even
cost lives. Have you guys seen that show. You know
he's a Canadian comedian named Nathan. He had a show
called Nathan for You, and now it's called The Rehearsal.
And this season is all about pilots. Did you know
pilots and co pilots don't talk to each other. And
he went and listened to black Bucks tapes of plane crashes,
(06:59):
and he found out that co pilots weren't brave enough
to take over the controls even when they know that
something bad was going down, and so he had them rehearse.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
It's a comedy show.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
He had co pilots rehearse situations where they had to
speak up in different areas of their life.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
It's hysterical.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
I think it's on Netflix. I don't know it's on
one of the streamers. It's called the Rehearsal. You guys
should see it. Okay, when we come back, let's talk
about our mental health. There's new research to show that
there's a very simple step that we all can take
to help ease and reduce.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Any chance of depression. I'll tell you about it when
we come back.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
You're listening to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI
AM six forty. We're live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Welcome back to.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
The Doctor Wendy Wall Show on KFI AM six forty,
Live everywhere on.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
The iHeartRadio App.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
I know I've been talking a lot about mental health, workplace,
mental health, and you guys think of me as like
the sex and relationship person. Actually I'm not a sex person.
I only talk about sex in context of relationship, Like
maybe you should schedule it if you're in a long
term relationship. But you can't have a healthy interpersonal relationship
(08:20):
unless you have fairly good mental health. Right, Because where
does our mental health most often show up and play
out in our most intimate relationships. Right, So it may
not surprise you that last year, more than twenty one
million Americans reported suffering from depression. Now, I want to
(08:46):
tell you that depression doesn't have to be a chronic,
lifelong illness. In any given year, it is expected that
about one in four Americans will have a bout of depression.
Let's talk about the different kinds of depression. So there
are some people because of intergenerational trauma, because of trauma
(09:10):
in their own childhood, because of genetic predisposition. The combination
of these things mean that a small percent of our
population will have chronic, on and off lifelong depression. And
some of it, sadly, is often resistant to medication.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
But for the rest of.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Us, sometimes depression is something like catching a common cold.
It's feelings of sadness, still clinically diagnosable that last for
you know, it has to be at least a couple weeks.
It might be sadness or low mood. It can include
loss of interest in stuff that used to bring you joy,
(09:54):
low energy. What's really interesting is when I have depression,
and I've had it a number of times in my life,
most sort of.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
The strongest bounce of depression.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
We're worth postpartum depression for each of my babies because
I'm an extrovert and I process externally. I'm not the
kind of person who's going to go into dark room
and curl up at a ball and cry. I'm gonna
be bitchy to everybody. I am gonna be yelling, I'm
gonna be snarky. It comes out as anger in me.
You might have just low energy, disrupted sleep, either sleeping
(10:30):
too much or too little, or waking up in the
middle of the night, et cetera. Changes in your appetite,
eating too much, eating too little. Difficulty this is a
big one. When I'm depressed, I can't make decisions. I
get stuck on the fence with everything. It just feels
overwhelming to try to make a decision. Right, And in
severe cases, some people have thoughts of hope, not homelessness,
(10:51):
hopefully hopelessness, or maybe even worthlessness. All Right, So one
in four Americans are going to experience a bout of
depression every single year. Right, So there's this new meta analysis.
You know what a meta analysis is. I always have
(11:12):
to explain this to my students. Is where you take
a whole bunch of studies, and you pull data from
a whole bunch of studies to be able to make
a new conclusion because oh, they noticed that, and they
noticed it too.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Oh that's interesting. So a new.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Study, which not they didn't do their own research study,
a meta analysis that was published recently in the Journal
of American Medicine, found that there is one thing, just
one thing, that can lower your risk of depression by
thirty one percent. Yep, thirty one percent. Okay, here's what
(11:47):
it is. It's so simple, just walking seven thousand steps
a day. You think that's a lot. It's not park
your car a little further away, right, take a some
stairs instead of an elevator. You just incorporate it into
your day and you'll be pretty surprised. Look at the
health app on your iPhone, look at your Apple Watch whatever.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
I'll tell you how crazy I am.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
I have been going to like getting ready for bed
and happy to look at my health app and I'm like, oh,
sixty three hundred steps today, and then I'm like, I'm
just gonna quickly walk around the block, or I'm gonna
go to my car and get a few things, because
seven hundred steps is not that much to put in
by the way. When I go on vacation, we walk
and walk and walk and walk and walk. And I
(12:31):
have a bum knee, I got torn meniscus.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
I don't care. I just walk through the pain.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
But I've been known to walk twenty thousand steps in
a day when I'm on vacation, because why take an
uber when you can see sits on your way and
if it's forty five minute walk to the next location,
just do it. So Los Angeles is a really interesting
city because we are not a pedestrian city. When I
go to New York, for instance, I walk and walk
a waka waka walk, and you watch neighborhoods change.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
I'll just tell you a funny story.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
So a couple of weeks ago, I had a flight
up to my farm in Oregon, and I landed at
the airport and I have a guy who comes to
pick me up, a driver. He knows, you know, I
text him and he had changed his phone number. I
did not know I'd send him all these texts taking off.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Now, let me now whatever, I go out there, he's
not there.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Now.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
It's a twenty five thirty minute drive. But because of
uber surge.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Pricing, I went on the uber app app and they
wanted two hundred and fifty dollars for me to get
to my farm. Two hundred and fifty dollars. I said,
that's crazy. So I called a girlfriend up and I'm like,
what are you doing right now? I'm at the airport
and she said, well, I'm trying to get this contract out.
She's a real estate agent, had to get this offer in.
I said, okay, why don't I just map out your
(13:48):
house and I'll start walking from the airport and when
once you sent that email, just show up. And so
I'm walking and walking. It's a nice day. I don't
carry luggage with me because I just carry person. I'm
just watching neighborho change and checking out people's gardens. Oh
they have that blooming already. That's great, you know. And
before you know it, I'm standing in her driveway. Her
husband goes, Wendy's in our driveway. She comes out, she goes,
(14:11):
how did you get here so fast? I looked at
my app it was four and a half miles. But
it didn't bother me, right, I mean, I go to
Orange Theory and pay somebody to watch me walk that
amount on a treadmill.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Why not just do it?
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Incorporate it into your life. Okay, seven thousand steps a day.
If you haven't been a walker, begin with short ten
minute walks, track your steps, choose nature whenever possible. Green
spaces are proven to be good mood lifters. You don't
need fancy equipment. You don't need expensive programs. You need
your body, your breath. Maybe some music in your ears
(14:46):
that's always nice.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Or some podcasts.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
How about the Doctor Wendy Walls Show. Put in your ears?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
There you go? All right? When we come back, are
you out walking with me in your ears? Okay?
Speaker 1 (14:58):
I have one more mental health the hack before we go.
It's something I teach my health psychology students and everybody
should know this.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
You're listening to the Doctor.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Wendy Wall Show on KFI AM six forty we live
everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Welcome back to the home stretch of the Doctor Wendy
Wall Show on KFI AM six forty Live everywhere on
the iHeartRadio app. I'm gonna remind you again because I
do it every week. You guys need to download the
iHeartRadio app. You search doctor Wendy Walsh and then write
above my picture that my nephew Alex took against a
gray wall. I'm in a gray sweatshirt against a white wall. Anyway,
(15:42):
you will see a little preset button and when you
click on that preset button, it will tell the app
that whenever you open it up, it will give you
anything you missed, like wherever you left off listening to
the Doctor Wendy Wall show, there it will be. So
if you miss anything any part of the show, it's okay,
just preset it on the apps. It'll always be there,
(16:04):
so you know. I'm a professor of health psychology and
one of the things that I have my students do
is they have to do a team wellness pro project
project where they have to imagine that the school campus
is their target demographic and they have to help as
many people as possible hypothetically a change a certain health habit.
(16:28):
And I make them sign up for teams. And the
teams might be about sexual health, it might be alcohol reduction,
it might be quitting cannabis or tobacco. It might be
stress reduction, mindfulness and sleep. But there's also a team
called the Digital Hygiene Team. Right, digital hygiene is the
(16:52):
new buzzword in health psychology. You know. I remember years
and years ago reading a book called prog or b Programmed,
and I was like, what are they talking about? An
hour in the world of AI, like whow If you
are addicted to your phone, if it's the first thing
you touch in the morning, the last thing you touch
at night, If no matter what you're doing and you're
(17:14):
engrossed in it, you can't stay focused long enough to
need to grab your phone.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
You need a digital detox, okay, because you are addicted.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Now, we know that some things that happen there on
your phone can be very dangerous.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Right.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
You can have a compulsion to use too much pornography.
You can gamble on your phone and lose a whole
bunch of money.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
We know that social.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Media, especially for young females, is highly correlated with depression
and even suicidal ideation. So it's important that we take
control of our use of our digital world. If your
phone is making you feel anxious and exhausted, you might
not even know that this is the problem. Right, You
(17:58):
don't even know that you're constant checking and clicking through
is impacting your brain health. You know, I went off
social media for a year after COVID and it was
such a relief. Now I have a good balance that
I have a social media manager. I send stuff to
her to post, and then I also get in there
a little bit myself. But I have a balance, right,
(18:19):
because I have good digital hygiene. You know what. The
research says that in our hyper connected world where we
are now, the average American spends about seven hours a
day on screens.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Now, sometimes it's for work.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
You work at a computer screen, right, it's what you
got to do, and about three of those on your
phone alone. Ever been at a public place and looked
around and thought to yourself, I should be a chiropractor
because the neck pain I am seeing here everywhere in
the crowd, everybody's head is turned down like that, Right,
I do have neck pain because of it. So there's
research that was published in Computers and Human Behavior that
(18:56):
showed that excessive screen time, especially with that social media
I mentioned, is linked to increase anxiety, poor sleep, reduced focus,
and yes, even depression because our brains are not built
for all this constant stimulation. This social comparison to others
and the constant interruptions. So here's what you need to do,
(19:17):
all right, you need to implement some digital hygiene practices today.
And that means, especially if you're a parent, by the way,
and you're raising kids, because you're teaching them how to
do it. Create screen free zones. That means keep your
phone out of the bedroom and off the dinner table,
just two places.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Okay, out of.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
The bedroom, off the dinner table. Turn off all those notifications,
all right, I turn them all off, except like my
kids can break in.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Break in.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
I mean I have some kind is setting or even
if I'm on sleep mode or whatever, my kids are
the only people that.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Can call me if there's an emergency. Right, there's ways
learn how.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
To do it.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
You could even use app timers to limit time on
social media platforms. And when you see that person on
TikTok go, wait up, you've been on too long time
to get off?
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Obey them?
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Okay, obey them. Schedule intentional breaks from media when you're
exercising it at the gym and know they're like, oh
well I need to listen to music and text come
in while I'm on the StairMaster. You're not getting a
good workout. All right, leave it in your car, Go
have your workout for an hour. Make sure you schedule
(20:27):
a digital sunset. That means at least two hours before bedtime.
Turn off all screens.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Well, what am I going to do? You're going to
read a book. That's what you're gonna do. Hopefully you're
not going to eat.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
You might practice some self care, take a hot bath,
low dry your hair, whatever, do something to get off
your phone. Okay, think of it as like brushing your teeth, right,
You never skip brushing your teeth, So you're going to
start to clearly go time to power down. You can
set a little time on your phone, time to power down. Remember,
(21:00):
your phone is there because it's designed to be a
tool for you to live a better life. It's not
your boss, and it should not be detracting from your life. Right,
So I want you to have better digital hygiene so
that you can reclaim yourself mental clarity, better sleep, stronger focus,
(21:21):
deeper real world relationships. See it brought it all the
way around to relationships. If you and your spouse or
your boyfriend, your girlfriend are sitting there looking at phones
and not talking to each other, that's a problem. So
digital detalks or at least some kind of digital hygiene. Hey,
(21:42):
that brings the Doctor Wendy Walls Show to a close.
It's always my pleasure to be here every Sunday from
seven to nine pm. If you would like to follow
me on my social media, you certainly may. The handle
is at d R Wendy Walls. You want to send
in questions, we can answer them on air. I'll always
keep your identity private, but it is always my pleasure
to be here for you.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
On Sunday nights.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
You've been listening to the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show on
KFI AM six forty live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
You've been listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh. You can always
hear us live on KFI AM six forty from seven
to nine pm on Sunday and anytime on demand on
the iHeartRadio app
This is Doctor Wendy Walsh and you're listening to KFI
AM six forty the Doctor Wendy wallsh Show on demand
on the iHeartRadio App.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on AM.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Six forty Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio App. I had
to tell you something. When I was young, and I
had so many jobs. I worked everything from retail to
bars and restaurants. I think my most weirdest job, I mean,
just sort of a typical job in my twenties, I
worked for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police in their Historical
(00:33):
Archive division. So I'm working for the police, which are
kind of like our FBI and CIA altogether, and I
had to go through old case files and I had
to decide. I had a bunch of criteria if they
were historically significant, and whether they should be saved or
whether they should be discarded. So I honestly, I could
make a whole TV series, a true crime series on
(00:55):
some of.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Those files that I read.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Anyway, I've had lots of jobs, and one of the
things I recall is that when I was young, people
were often very rude to me at work. Now, either
it was because I was just so young and beautiful.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Which I was.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
I'm sorry, I did nothing I did, Okay, don't blame me,
don't shoot the messenger. I just I was born that way.
Thank you to whoever you believe in the universe, God,
whatever for my genes. Maybe they were intimidated some of
these bosses, or maybe there are people that just wheeld
their power over young people they think they can be
rude to them. So my youngest daughter, you know, she's
(01:37):
slightly on the spectrum, it's not neurotypical. She's so interesting though,
And she was working at retail job and a customer
asked for a certain product, So she went over to
her manager and said, Hey, where do I find the
And the manager said, I'm going to let you look
for it since you work here. When my daughter told
(01:58):
me that story, I wanted to entering that woman's neck.
I mean, here's this kid who finally got through high
school and got eventually an esthetician license and training and
cares about skincare. And I'll tell you where they're at
ney Is Lady anyway. So I just don't think people
(02:20):
should be rude at work, are anywhere. I mean, if
we can't find a way to be polite. Now, it's
possible to be direct and honest because the true skill
of communication is to be one hundred percent honest and
at the same time one hundred percent kind, understanding that
somebody is hearing this and your words are going to
(02:41):
have an impact on them.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Right.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Unfortunately, the culture in today's country here, when we have
politicians who are being so rude to each other, rude
to adversaries, and publicly putting it on social media, it's
hard to teach people that being kind is important. But
in the workplace there is no room for rudeness, and
(03:09):
some people think of rude behavior as just being part
of the job. Well, there's new research that shows that
even like being lightly uncivil can lead to serious consequences,
including some mistakes that can put somebody's life at risk.
Stay with me now, so we know what rutless looks
like at work, right. People who interrupt, they ignore emails,
(03:33):
they talk down to someone in front of colleagues. You know,
when I was co host of the show The Doctors,
I won't say who. We had a lot of doctors
on that show, but one of the doctors didn't like
me for whatever reason. I have no idea and this doctor,
whenever I spoke to them, literally would just ignore me
like I hadn't even said anything at work. Can you
imagine it hurt me so badly?
Speaker 2 (03:56):
I wrote this.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Person emails that went unresponded to. Then I'd say, well,
maybe didn't get my email. Speak with this person in public,
and they would just keep walking like I didn't even exist.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Terrible.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Well, according to new research out of the University of Florida,
rudeness at work isn't just an interpersonal annoyance.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
It can be very dangerous.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Now. This research was published in the Journal of Applied Psychology,
and the study found that rude behavior significantly impairs job performance,
especially in high stakes environments like oh hospitals emergency response teams.
The researcher's discovered that rudeness can reduce a medical team's
(04:35):
functionality by up to forty four percent.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
I'm sorry, but.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
If I'm the one lying on the table needing to
be attended to, you guys better be nice to each other. Okay,
but you know, damage doesn't just stop in the er.
In any workplace, it can kill cooperation, It breeds selfish behavior,
It reduces the idea that you're supposed to be focusing
(04:59):
on a task to get other and more than anything,
it erodes trust in the team. If people feel disrespected,
their brains go into threat mode, right, and they get
this emotional hijacking, so they'll miss details, they'll shout down
each other.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Right, So what can you do about it?
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Well, if you're leading a team or just trying to
survive in a team, here are some simple things. First
of all, you've got to model the respectful behavior no
matter what you see going on around you. It is
your job to lead with a positive tone and nice
kind body language, no arms crossed with chest, no hands
on hips, right, and cut out the subtle rudeness gently
(05:42):
but firmly. So if somebody does say something snarky, like,
for instance, that retail boss to my daughter, I wish
my daughter had had the self esteem to say, hey,
that didn't feel great. Just letting them know like that
is not cool.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Right.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Also, if you're a manager of foster psychological safety, which
means the research shows that teams perform way better when
people feel safe to speak up, So make sure that
you can draw all the intelligence out of the entire group.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Right.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
And if you're on the receiving end. I'm so sorry.
Just take a deep breath, set some boundaries. Try as
hard as you can to not let a coworker's rudeness
chip away at your own self worth, because your dignity matters.
So look, being rude anywhere is not okay at the workplace.
It's more than unpleasant. It's a productivity killer, and in
(06:37):
some jobs, like in the medical profession, it can even
cost lives. Have you guys seen that show. You know
he's a Canadian comedian named Nathan. He had a show
called Nathan for You, and now it's called The Rehearsal.
And this season is all about pilots. Did you know
pilots and co pilots don't talk to each other. And
he went and listened to black Bucks tapes of plane crashes,
(06:59):
and he found out that co pilots weren't brave enough
to take over the controls even when they know that
something bad was going down, and so he had them rehearse.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
It's a comedy show.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
He had co pilots rehearse situations where they had to
speak up in different areas of their life.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
It's hysterical.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
I think it's on Netflix. I don't know it's on
one of the streamers. It's called the Rehearsal. You guys
should see it. Okay, when we come back, let's talk
about our mental health. There's new research to show that
there's a very simple step that we all can take
to help ease and reduce.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Any chance of depression. I'll tell you about it when
we come back.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
You're listening to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI
AM six forty. We're live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Welcome back to.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
The Doctor Wendy Wall Show on KFI AM six forty,
Live everywhere on.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
The iHeartRadio App.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
I know I've been talking a lot about mental health, workplace,
mental health, and you guys think of me as like
the sex and relationship person. Actually I'm not a sex person.
I only talk about sex in context of relationship, Like
maybe you should schedule it if you're in a long
term relationship. But you can't have a healthy interpersonal relationship
(08:20):
unless you have fairly good mental health. Right, Because where
does our mental health most often show up and play
out in our most intimate relationships. Right, So it may
not surprise you that last year, more than twenty one
million Americans reported suffering from depression. Now, I want to
(08:46):
tell you that depression doesn't have to be a chronic,
lifelong illness. In any given year, it is expected that
about one in four Americans will have a bout of depression.
Let's talk about the different kinds of depression. So there
are some people because of intergenerational trauma, because of trauma
(09:10):
in their own childhood, because of genetic predisposition. The combination
of these things mean that a small percent of our
population will have chronic, on and off lifelong depression. And
some of it, sadly, is often resistant to medication.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
But for the rest of.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Us, sometimes depression is something like catching a common cold.
It's feelings of sadness, still clinically diagnosable that last for
you know, it has to be at least a couple weeks.
It might be sadness or low mood. It can include
loss of interest in stuff that used to bring you joy,
(09:54):
low energy. What's really interesting is when I have depression,
and I've had it a number of times in my life,
most sort of.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
The strongest bounce of depression.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
We're worth postpartum depression for each of my babies because
I'm an extrovert and I process externally. I'm not the
kind of person who's going to go into dark room
and curl up at a ball and cry. I'm gonna
be bitchy to everybody. I am gonna be yelling, I'm
gonna be snarky. It comes out as anger in me.
You might have just low energy, disrupted sleep, either sleeping
(10:30):
too much or too little, or waking up in the
middle of the night, et cetera. Changes in your appetite,
eating too much, eating too little. Difficulty this is a
big one. When I'm depressed, I can't make decisions. I
get stuck on the fence with everything. It just feels
overwhelming to try to make a decision. Right, And in
severe cases, some people have thoughts of hope, not homelessness,
(10:51):
hopefully hopelessness, or maybe even worthlessness. All Right, So one
in four Americans are going to experience a bout of
depression every single year. Right, So there's this new meta analysis.
You know what a meta analysis is. I always have
(11:12):
to explain this to my students. Is where you take
a whole bunch of studies, and you pull data from
a whole bunch of studies to be able to make
a new conclusion because oh, they noticed that, and they
noticed it too.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Oh that's interesting. So a new.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Study, which not they didn't do their own research study,
a meta analysis that was published recently in the Journal
of American Medicine, found that there is one thing, just
one thing, that can lower your risk of depression by
thirty one percent. Yep, thirty one percent. Okay, here's what
(11:47):
it is. It's so simple, just walking seven thousand steps
a day. You think that's a lot. It's not park
your car a little further away, right, take a some
stairs instead of an elevator. You just incorporate it into
your day and you'll be pretty surprised. Look at the
health app on your iPhone, look at your Apple Watch whatever.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
I'll tell you how crazy I am.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
I have been going to like getting ready for bed
and happy to look at my health app and I'm like, oh,
sixty three hundred steps today, and then I'm like, I'm
just gonna quickly walk around the block, or I'm gonna
go to my car and get a few things, because
seven hundred steps is not that much to put in
by the way. When I go on vacation, we walk
and walk and walk and walk and walk. And I
(12:31):
have a bum knee, I got torn meniscus.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
I don't care. I just walk through the pain.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
But I've been known to walk twenty thousand steps in
a day when I'm on vacation, because why take an
uber when you can see sits on your way and
if it's forty five minute walk to the next location,
just do it. So Los Angeles is a really interesting
city because we are not a pedestrian city. When I
go to New York, for instance, I walk and walk
a waka waka walk, and you watch neighborhoods change.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
I'll just tell you a funny story.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
So a couple of weeks ago, I had a flight
up to my farm in Oregon, and I landed at
the airport and I have a guy who comes to
pick me up, a driver. He knows, you know, I
text him and he had changed his phone number. I
did not know I'd send him all these texts taking off.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Now, let me now whatever, I go out there, he's
not there.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Now.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
It's a twenty five thirty minute drive. But because of
uber surge.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Pricing, I went on the uber app app and they
wanted two hundred and fifty dollars for me to get
to my farm. Two hundred and fifty dollars. I said,
that's crazy. So I called a girlfriend up and I'm like,
what are you doing right now? I'm at the airport
and she said, well, I'm trying to get this contract out.
She's a real estate agent, had to get this offer in.
I said, okay, why don't I just map out your
(13:48):
house and I'll start walking from the airport and when
once you sent that email, just show up. And so
I'm walking and walking. It's a nice day. I don't
carry luggage with me because I just carry person. I'm
just watching neighborho change and checking out people's gardens. Oh
they have that blooming already. That's great, you know. And
before you know it, I'm standing in her driveway. Her
husband goes, Wendy's in our driveway. She comes out, she goes,
(14:11):
how did you get here so fast? I looked at
my app it was four and a half miles. But
it didn't bother me, right, I mean, I go to
Orange Theory and pay somebody to watch me walk that
amount on a treadmill.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Why not just do it?
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Incorporate it into your life. Okay, seven thousand steps a day.
If you haven't been a walker, begin with short ten
minute walks, track your steps, choose nature whenever possible. Green
spaces are proven to be good mood lifters. You don't
need fancy equipment. You don't need expensive programs. You need
your body, your breath. Maybe some music in your ears
(14:46):
that's always nice.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Or some podcasts.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
How about the Doctor Wendy Walls Show. Put in your ears?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
There you go? All right? When we come back, are
you out walking with me in your ears? Okay?
Speaker 1 (14:58):
I have one more mental health the hack before we go.
It's something I teach my health psychology students and everybody
should know this.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
You're listening to the Doctor.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Wendy Wall Show on KFI AM six forty we live
everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Welcome back to the home stretch of the Doctor Wendy
Wall Show on KFI AM six forty Live everywhere on
the iHeartRadio app. I'm gonna remind you again because I
do it every week. You guys need to download the
iHeartRadio app. You search doctor Wendy Walsh and then write
above my picture that my nephew Alex took against a
gray wall. I'm in a gray sweatshirt against a white wall. Anyway,
(15:42):
you will see a little preset button and when you
click on that preset button, it will tell the app
that whenever you open it up, it will give you
anything you missed, like wherever you left off listening to
the Doctor Wendy Wall show, there it will be. So
if you miss anything any part of the show, it's okay,
just preset it on the apps. It'll always be there,
(16:04):
so you know. I'm a professor of health psychology and
one of the things that I have my students do
is they have to do a team wellness pro project
project where they have to imagine that the school campus
is their target demographic and they have to help as
many people as possible hypothetically a change a certain health habit.
(16:28):
And I make them sign up for teams. And the
teams might be about sexual health, it might be alcohol reduction,
it might be quitting cannabis or tobacco. It might be
stress reduction, mindfulness and sleep. But there's also a team
called the Digital Hygiene Team. Right, digital hygiene is the
(16:52):
new buzzword in health psychology. You know. I remember years
and years ago reading a book called prog or b Programmed,
and I was like, what are they talking about? An
hour in the world of AI, like whow If you
are addicted to your phone, if it's the first thing
you touch in the morning, the last thing you touch
at night, If no matter what you're doing and you're
(17:14):
engrossed in it, you can't stay focused long enough to
need to grab your phone.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
You need a digital detox, okay, because you are addicted.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Now, we know that some things that happen there on
your phone can be very dangerous.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Right.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
You can have a compulsion to use too much pornography.
You can gamble on your phone and lose a whole
bunch of money.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
We know that social.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Media, especially for young females, is highly correlated with depression
and even suicidal ideation. So it's important that we take
control of our use of our digital world. If your
phone is making you feel anxious and exhausted, you might
not even know that this is the problem. Right, You
(17:58):
don't even know that you're constant checking and clicking through
is impacting your brain health. You know, I went off
social media for a year after COVID and it was
such a relief. Now I have a good balance that
I have a social media manager. I send stuff to
her to post, and then I also get in there
a little bit myself. But I have a balance, right,
(18:19):
because I have good digital hygiene. You know what. The
research says that in our hyper connected world where we
are now, the average American spends about seven hours a
day on screens.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Now, sometimes it's for work.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
You work at a computer screen, right, it's what you
got to do, and about three of those on your
phone alone. Ever been at a public place and looked
around and thought to yourself, I should be a chiropractor
because the neck pain I am seeing here everywhere in
the crowd, everybody's head is turned down like that, Right,
I do have neck pain because of it. So there's
research that was published in Computers and Human Behavior that
(18:56):
showed that excessive screen time, especially with that social media
I mentioned, is linked to increase anxiety, poor sleep, reduced focus,
and yes, even depression because our brains are not built
for all this constant stimulation. This social comparison to others
and the constant interruptions. So here's what you need to do,
(19:17):
all right, you need to implement some digital hygiene practices today.
And that means, especially if you're a parent, by the way,
and you're raising kids, because you're teaching them how to
do it. Create screen free zones. That means keep your
phone out of the bedroom and off the dinner table,
just two places.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Okay, out of.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
The bedroom, off the dinner table. Turn off all those notifications,
all right, I turn them all off, except like my
kids can break in.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Break in.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
I mean I have some kind is setting or even
if I'm on sleep mode or whatever, my kids are
the only people that.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Can call me if there's an emergency. Right, there's ways
learn how.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
To do it.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
You could even use app timers to limit time on
social media platforms. And when you see that person on
TikTok go, wait up, you've been on too long time
to get off?
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Obey them?
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Okay, obey them. Schedule intentional breaks from media when you're
exercising it at the gym and know they're like, oh
well I need to listen to music and text come
in while I'm on the StairMaster. You're not getting a
good workout. All right, leave it in your car, Go
have your workout for an hour. Make sure you schedule
(20:27):
a digital sunset. That means at least two hours before bedtime.
Turn off all screens.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Well, what am I going to do? You're going to
read a book. That's what you're gonna do. Hopefully you're
not going to eat.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
You might practice some self care, take a hot bath,
low dry your hair, whatever, do something to get off
your phone. Okay, think of it as like brushing your teeth, right,
You never skip brushing your teeth, So you're going to
start to clearly go time to power down. You can
set a little time on your phone, time to power down. Remember,
(21:00):
your phone is there because it's designed to be a
tool for you to live a better life. It's not
your boss, and it should not be detracting from your life. Right,
So I want you to have better digital hygiene so
that you can reclaim yourself mental clarity, better sleep, stronger focus,
(21:21):
deeper real world relationships. See it brought it all the
way around to relationships. If you and your spouse or
your boyfriend, your girlfriend are sitting there looking at phones
and not talking to each other, that's a problem. So
digital detalks or at least some kind of digital hygiene. Hey,
(21:42):
that brings the Doctor Wendy Walls Show to a close.
It's always my pleasure to be here every Sunday from
seven to nine pm. If you would like to follow
me on my social media, you certainly may. The handle
is at d R Wendy Walls. You want to send
in questions, we can answer them on air. I'll always
keep your identity private, but it is always my pleasure
to be here for you.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
On Sunday nights.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
You've been listening to the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show on
KFI AM six forty live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
You've been listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh. You can always
hear us live on KFI AM six forty from seven
to nine pm on Sunday and anytime on demand on
the iHeartRadio app
Dr. Wendy Walsh on Demand News
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