GAS Weekend Fix: Holiday Tales

Gary and Shannon re tell holiday tales from their past! In this riveting episode of the weekend fix.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is Gary and Shannon and you're listening to KFI
A M six forty, the Gary and Shannon Show on
demand on the iHeartRadio app.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
So, I, uh, well here we are. Oh right, you
got to say that part here will Welcome to the
Weekend Fix Show. This is a dark time of year.
Well I mean dark just because there's a lot of
holiday letdown. You're gonna get drunk on New Year's Eve.
There's a weird week. This is a weird week for
a lot of people.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
I used to get drunk the whole month of December. Yeah, well,
like you start your after Thanksgiving, You're like, I'm in
the holidays now, why not start with days? Right?

Speaker 2 (00:42):
Better get used to this.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
It used to be a really long December. Uh you
know that takes its toll by this time. By this week,
you're like, oh man, I got to clean up my axe.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
I had a moment last night where I felt super
super well, not last night, but earlier in the week.
My wife had been making cookies, right, That's that's one
of her things she does at Christmas is she makes cookies,
five or six different varieties. Got to test them, got
to make sure quality contribute, don't have to, you know.

(01:13):
I mean sometimes she gets kind of out of pocket
and some of those they get rancid or whatever, bad ingredients.
It's not her fault. It's not her fault. But you know,
you just got to keep going to keep if we're
gonna put our name on it, we just want to
make sure it's a good product. But I had a
couple of cookies and then I had we had chicken
soup that night for dinners.

Speaker 1 (01:32):
Let's pass. And you say I had a couple of cookies.
What is your definition of a couple in this instance?

Speaker 2 (01:38):
I distinctly remember I had two of the chocolate chip
cookies and then and two of the reindeer shits as
they call it, reindeer poops.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
They're not just chocolate chip cookies though.

Speaker 2 (01:49):
Right, But she does make them small, so when you
have two of them, you can feel better about.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
These the regular size.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
Those are I consider them small.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
Okay, Anyway, that's anywhere four cookies, four cookies a couple.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
And then chicken soup. Right, And the chicken soup is
so good. It was the weather, it's cold, it was,
it was, it was so good. But there's something about
chicken soup that fills me up. I mean, just like
that over full feeling. And I don't know if it's
noodles in it. I don't know what it is, but
I feel over full.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
It could have been the four cookies you had before,
but digress.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
Yeah, it could have been, but it was I was
uncomfortable like that when you sit down on the couch
and like you are a fat slob who should not
be allowed to eat other people's food, Like this is
you're taking from poor people right now. That's how much
food I felt like i'd eat, and I didn't eat
a lot. That's the whole point is. But if you
eat the wrong or the right foods in the right combination,

(02:51):
I just can't.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
You know.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
But it's not like it's not a weird thing like
uh gas or dietary. No, it's just full.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
I'm glad you said it like that because it's something
that I I would like us to bring into the
new year. You called yourself a fat slob. What did
you say that you took food away from the homeless?
Something of that nature. Sure would you ever talk to
your friends like that and be like you are a
fat slob? I can't believe you just ate those cookies
and that soup and there you're sitting on the couch.

(03:18):
You're a fat slob. You would never say that to
your friends unless it was me. You say said to me, okay,
let's just change it, Okay, take me out of the.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
Prison company excluded. Probably I wouldn't say that.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
You would be like Elma would be like I just
had a few cookies, had soup and he's sitting on
the couch. He's like, Man, you would look over at
Elmer and be like, you're a fat slob. You'd never
do that, So why do you talk to yourself that way?
It's not fair. It's not fair, and I want us
to go into the new year being kind to ourselves
and not talking that much shit to ourselves. It's not cool.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
Okay, first, you are.

Speaker 1 (03:54):
Not a fat slob.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
You are every day. Who are you? And what have
you done with Shane?

Speaker 1 (04:00):
I'm just saying I know what you're.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
Saying, and I part of me agrees with you, But
also what I'm.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
Trying to make us better, a little bit better every day,
and I think that it would be whove youw to
stop talking so much shit to yourself.

Speaker 2 (04:16):
I need to love me before I can love anybody else.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
It's true, kind of true because most of the time
you're looking around talking shit about other people. That's you
thinking about wrong stuff with you.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
I know. But but yes, but I'm not talking shit
about other people. I'm talking about me. I'm literally making
it about myself.

Speaker 1 (04:36):
I know. Anyway, if you but if you're nicer to yourself,
and you'll be nicer to everybody else in your head,
this like, you won't think all those mean things about
me if you're nice.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
That may be true.

Speaker 1 (04:49):
So this is kind of a self serving thing.

Speaker 2 (04:51):
That could be true. Okay, so you're protecting yourself by
making me.

Speaker 1 (04:56):
Love me right, like the fewer times you call yourself
a dumb bit, which the fewer times you'll look at
me and be like, she is such a dumb bitch.

Speaker 2 (05:05):
Well, this is kind of that dark the dark week, right,
This is Saturday, and it starts this week between Christmas
and New Year's where h First of all, a lot
of people have the have time off, right, They've this
maybe the first time or you know, really the only
sustained time off that they've had in a while. We're
coming back to work on Monday, so that's that doesn't
conclude us. But and again we're not taking titches or anything.

(05:28):
We're not doing rocket science or brain surgery here. But
people are still hungover. Using the term correctly, I think
hungover from a month's worth of gluttony.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
Maybe well it's it's the cocktails, but it's the sugar,
and it's the stress of being with family. Even though
your family's lovely, it still comes with stress and the
pressure of Christmas and getting the right things, or the
self imposed pressure. I think it's all of that and
the weather.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
The days are shorter, it's dark in the four o'clock
in the afternoon. Like all of that compounds. And then
this week there's not a lot to look forward to.

Speaker 1 (06:10):
There's not even good games on Christmas. No, it's Christmas over, okay,
but they were all awful again, they were stupid. There
will be a couple of games later today.

Speaker 2 (06:21):
Oh the Charger, of course is very exciting. But there's
there's this if once you're over what forty New Year's Eve,
New Year's Eve loses a lot of appeal. Like I
used to laugh, my.

Speaker 1 (06:37):
Parents never was a New Year's Eve person.

Speaker 2 (06:39):
My parents used to throw New Year's Eve parties and
it would be just people in the neighborhood, and the
neighbors would come over and everybody'd bring like a hot
cheese ball or whatever and in the glass of wine
and we'd go out on the front yard. But my
parents half of the people would fall asleep at ten
o'clock at night.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
It's a depressing scene. I'd never like to stay up
that late. I am more, you know, I feel like
it's amateur night too. You know, it's like, what are
you doing?

Speaker 2 (07:03):
You want to drink firstne you want to drink a
bottle of bubbles, you know in Barstow on a Tuesday
in April.

Speaker 1 (07:11):
I'm your girl, you know what I mean. Like, I
don't believe in the whole event thing. But like my
parents were being New yor'sy people. They were New Year's
E people until my dad died. They would go out
to dinner, they would do the East Coast New Year's
Eve thing. They'd go to a restaurant and do the
thing with the blowing and the you know what I
mean that didn't come out right?

Speaker 2 (07:26):
Yeah, I want to know where that went.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
You know, those things like bazook kazoosh, the things that
they roll them out and the head stuff and the sparkles.
They were all into that shit, like good for you,
you know, but but but I'm not into that. I
like to go to bed early. The last New Year's
Eve I did was the y two k New Year's
Eve Wow, and I went up to Tahoe with my

(07:49):
girlfriend and a bunch of guys that she was at
San Diego State with and we were all in one
room because it was New Year's even it was impossible
to get a room and it was one of the
real dirt bag side of the road hotels. It's been
there since the forties. And there was about twelve of
us in a one bedroom room and everyone's doing blow

(08:10):
and the guys are I wasn't. I had to work
the next day. I had to anchor the next day
at KFPK Okay, So like no, no, no, it wasn't KPK.
It was a Chico. I was in college, so yeah,
but I still had to work the next day. And
I took that very seriously. So like I wasn't at
the time of my life where I'm doing where I'm

(08:32):
doing blow in a hotel, a dirtbag hotel room and
whatever else it is. But I'm drinking I'm having cocktails
and we're getting.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
Ready to go out, and we go out.

Speaker 1 (08:40):
We were on the street there at State Line and
it's packed. It's just packed wall to wall people. People
are climbing the light fixtures, pissing on the crowd like
it was this big thing. The world's gonna end. It's
y two k when the midnight strike. It down, shut down,
Let's get fed up, let's go. Nothing happened. We go
back to the hotel room and one of the guy's overdoses.

(09:02):
He starts freaking seizing on the bed and I'm like fuck.
So we called nine one one and the fire department
comes and nobody wants to say what anyone did. No
one wants to say because the fire bart sung what
did he take? And I was like, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (09:17):
I was like like.

Speaker 1 (09:20):
I was the total fun I don't know these people,
but I was like the total narc fun ruiner.

Speaker 2 (09:25):
But anyway, and probably saved the guy's life.

Speaker 1 (09:28):
We go to the tahoe Er with this dude, and
that's how I spent like the early morning hours, uh,
with this dude. I don't even know, but my friend
was like, you're His name was Courtney I'll never forget
that odd name for a dude. Anyway. I don't know
whatever happened to Courtney, you know, but but I remember
the next day, like two hours of sleep whenever we

(09:49):
get in the car to go back down the hill.
And she drove a Dodge Stealth and you needed snow tires.
Dodge Stealth was a car very low to the ground,
not a car for snow, right, And we didn't have
snow tires. It was not a four wheel drive. And
the roads were completely started, and I could not get
down the hill. I could not get into work. And

(10:11):
I think my shift started at noon or something, and
this was at like seven or eight am, and they
were like eighties, like you're ft, And I remember calling
my boss crying. I felt so bad that I was
going to miss work. I felt so awful that I
was going to miss a day. It's still the only
day of work I've missed in my life. Oh it's funny,
Like was that day and I was like, all right,

(10:34):
I'm like I still blamed it on my decision to
go and to like try and get back and everything
like that.

Speaker 2 (10:41):
I don't have. I did one New Year's Eve in
Union Square in San Francisco. Oh, that sounds nice, having
driven in from the trees, with the trees and everything,
and it.

Speaker 1 (10:51):
Was the windows at Macy's.

Speaker 2 (10:52):
It was beautiful back when that was a nice place
to be. But there was also that element of it
was weird because I was I was there with a
neighbor from Chico. She worked in TV.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
Are you guys banging?

Speaker 2 (11:05):
No, no, not well, I'll tell you that. Not well.
But we drove and we stayed with her friends, and
again it was that same It was that same environment
of there's like nine people in a in a hotel
room that has one bathroom and one bed, and everybody
else is just crashed out on chairs and stuff like that.

(11:27):
And I remember just sitting there annoyed the entire time,
like I'm so tired. We've driven four hours to get here.
We went out champagne, a couple of bars. We go
back to this room. It's like three in the morning.
We both have to get up because we got to
go back to Chico. She had to work later that
night on New Year's Day. And I just remember just

(11:50):
that feeling, that awful feeling of I'm never falling asleep.
These people are all annoying. I didn't like any of them.
I didn't. I didn't like her that much, Like why
did I agree to do this? Then driving home.

Speaker 1 (12:03):
We're really fun and are just a god?

Speaker 2 (12:06):
Man? What are you doing on New Year's Eve? It
was just it was one of those times where I
was just and then I was embarrassed to tell people.
They're like, what'd you do for New Year's Eve?

Speaker 1 (12:15):
Yeah? I was.

Speaker 2 (12:18):
I was at Union Square, Like that's all I would say.

Speaker 1 (12:20):
It was.

Speaker 2 (12:21):
You know what was weird is I ran into a
couple of people from high school in one of the bars.
I mean randomly, like I don't remember which one it was,
but uh, but they like it was a random I'm
with people that I know from Chico and.

Speaker 1 (12:38):
You're getting and you're getting run into people and.

Speaker 2 (12:40):
Not even Chico State, but but people that I was
working with in Chico that had no connection to Chico
itself there from the East Coast originally all that, and
to walk into a bar and here's somebody go Gary. Now,
first of all, that's not a common name, So anytime
anybody says it, my interest is piqued. And I turned it.
I look and I'm like Wendy and I'd known this girl,
I'd owner for fifteen years probably, and it was like

(13:03):
where and I had been out of college for ten
years by that point something like that. Yeah, so it
was or out of high school. So it was just
one of those weird out of context when you see
someone's face that you don't expect to see.

Speaker 1 (13:15):
I think my takeaway from this podcast has been that
the sickest burn is when you're talking about someone who
used to bang and someone goes where you bang in
and you go, not, well, that's a fucking sick burn,
Like my heart hurts for her.

Speaker 2 (13:30):
I didn't say she was the one that was doing
or may I was the one who was.

Speaker 1 (13:34):
It kind of insane. If you're insinuating you had poor.

Speaker 2 (13:37):
Performance, maybe I don't know, Well ask her.

Speaker 1 (13:39):
You're saying that she had a poor performance, and now
I feel bad for her.

Speaker 2 (13:43):
Well, I don't know what to say.

Speaker 1 (13:44):
Where is she now? Are you still friends on Facebook? No? Oh?

Speaker 2 (13:49):
I don't know where she is? Actually, I mean I
know where she went. She contacted when I was living
in Seattle. No, before I was living in Seattle, she
moved back east because that's where she was from. And
then and I think She reached out at one point
early Facebook time. Hey you hey, mid So anyway, I

(14:10):
just listen, do this. This is what we've done the
last couple of nights. Not well. CBS Television does a
Nashville New Year's Eve and they do it live, which
means ten o'clock is midnight. That's a perfect time. They
do the countdown like New Year do that whatever. However,

(14:30):
you do it at.

Speaker 1 (14:31):
Nine o'clock, maybe, like I like to be in better
on eight thirty.

Speaker 2 (14:34):
Because you got to get up and watch the Rose Parade,
you know.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
Otherwise my hip starts hurting. Oh my god, I'm kidding.

Speaker 2 (14:39):
That was a sciatica. Oh I got her all over boy?

Speaker 1 (14:44):
Okay, by if I have too much milk boy, Okay,
Well that's a real thing.

Speaker 2 (14:51):
Enjoy the rest of your weekend. We'll see you on Monday.
Thanks for listening to the Gary and Shannon Show podcast.
Anywhere you find your podcast, just type in Gary and
Shannon you'll find to us. You'll find the whole rundown
of shows that we've done, including last week, so Christmas,
Carol and all of that stuff. Rate the podcast, leave
a comment on the podcast, Share the podcast. All of

(15:11):
that is a big deal to us, so it's not
lost on us. Thank you for listening. We'll see you Monday.

Speaker 1 (15:16):
God bless you.

Speaker 2 (15:17):
You've been listening to The Gary and Shannon Show. You
can always hear us live on KFI AM six forty
nine am to one pm every Monday through Friday, and
anytime on demand on the iHeartRadio app