Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're listening to KFI AM six forty on demand.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Shannon, Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show. Hello, Hi Shannon.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Oh Hi, I'm sorry. Hello Jesus. I'm supposed to say
you broke up and I didn't hear my name.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Not a problem, my dear. How can I help you?
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Well, I have two things, and I hope I can
just condense them, so I don't go on and on with.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Well me too, condense away.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
You know how things stockpile sometimes. Indeed, it seems like
the first thing my family is well, we'll just say
my mother is eighty four and my father is eighty seven,
just a brief history of time. I don't really have
(00:49):
that much of a connection with my father because he
was gone since I was two and I'm well into
my fifties. And my mother, I've kind have stayed away
from her, so you could say I haven't seen her
in five years, but she's not too far away, and
there is someone that I talked to that brings her
up occasionally. Now, the history of my family is one
(01:13):
of of of triangulation techniques, heavy politics, deeply entrenched, so
I've kind of been drawn into that on and off
throughout my life, and even as a child, I recognized it.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Okay, so trying that's kind of a sort of a
pop psychology, yeah, term, but it pulls in, always pulling
in a third party, scapegoating, all playing both ends against
the middle of those types of things.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Right, And you know that's an old that's an old game.
It goes goes way back to the beginning of time. Sure,
but as a child you don't understand it. I've spent
years trying to figure out what that was and how
how it's actually affected me, to the point that at
this stage in my life, I've totally isolated myself from it.
(02:05):
That's the only way I can deal with it, because
otherwise I get sucked back in.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Okay, so let's bring you to today and your questions
for me.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
I can't have the family experience that is portrayed, you know,
in the world, the one that we're supposed to have,
that we're pressured to have. And you know, my mother's
getting older, and I don't know how I'm supposed to behave.
I would like to interact with my mother, but there's
so many danger zones, not only with my mother but
(02:35):
who she is, you know, who the other people she
draws into the picture that create problems, and to me,
it really is a dangerous place to be. But I
have feelings about my mother, you know. But after working
through this, after all these years, I've come to the point,
(02:56):
and this was the question I had to your person
to answer the phone. Is is it possible that you
you can't make peace with your family and you have
to make peace with that?
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Yes? And oftentimes really know, you.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Know, because you know, if you're gnashing of the teeth
and soul searching and all that, you know, really self analyzation.
You know, can you come to a place, you know
where you know for sure that you you can't go
back there?
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Well, you can define define certain you know, fair areas
first of all, Norman Rockwellian type. Uh, you know, turkey
coming out, piping hot and family sitting around and all
of that stuff doesn't exist and shouldn't exist. Uh, it's
not it's you're not seeking perfection. What you are seeking
is is excellence, which is to spend time with you know,
(03:47):
it's kind of what you end up hitting on the
way to perfection that everybody wants. That's important. And uh,
it's not that that you're ever going to hit that
expectations is the killer of all things, this kind of
notion that, well, I expect the family should be this
what you should expect is fairness and the lack of
hostility and humanness to one another and familiarity and all
(04:10):
these things. And you play a part in that with
your mother. In the case of your question with your mother,
it's really about defining your kind of borders and saying, Okay,
this is how I will see her. I will see
her on my terms in places of safety that I
feel secure, and that's it. And you won't, you know,
(04:35):
you find them on their level. It's interesting that if
if your mother was born without legs, or heaven forbid,
in some accident where she didn't have legs, you wouldn't
be calling me saying, you know, I am a little
upset because I like to run and my mother can't run,
(04:57):
so so I don't want to be around her because
she can't run. You'd find ways to spend time with
her in places she was capable of enjoying that mutual time.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Correct, well, I've done that. I've done that, and even
then it seriously became a danger zone.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
This then it shows, but then it shows that she
has more damage there. If she has more damage or
she can't interact with you, then that's the equivalent of
her being dead emotionally. And in that case, that's a
place where you have to come to peace with and
that that's not your family unit. If family unit is
not just your biological family. If you pull away from everyone,
(05:41):
that's something you've done. Pulling away from those that hurts
you is one thing, but assuming everyone's going to hurt
you is just silliness.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Okay. Second part of that question is if that person,
I know, I can't control people, but my child, Okay,
he's grown, he's a professional, he has had a life.
This my mother. You know, I've never tried to control
her relationships because I understand how why people do that.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Okay, now I've.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Risen above it, and I understand that she has to
do that, and that's her, that's her. But if if
she's before she leaves this world, is trying to infect
my child with that? And all myself left is prayer.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
But how so he's trying to infect your child with
what with the with the same.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Kind of talking about what family is, as if as
if she knows that's what family is I have to
trust that my son can understand.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Absolutely you're the one that gave him the tools, but
this exactly, and if you've you've got to be able
to show examples of these things and not just demonize
people or say, well, they're going to do this. People
are who they are. And and my my biggest fear, Shannon,
is that you throw a lot of terms around and
(07:04):
there's a lot of understanding, but I don't hear a
lot of application. And those two things can be very
detrimental because I hear this a lot in kind of
the self help movement and these types of things, is
that people learn terms or learn how to self diagnose,
but then don't apply it in their life. And I'm
(07:25):
and you know, we're only limited in our time today
to talk about it, so we're not going to hear everything.
I'm telling you these things so that you can be
careful and see signs of problems. But it's very easy
to learn the terms and go, oh, well, I'm doing
this or I'm feeling this, or I understand this, and
not apply them. If you are in a place of healthiness,
(07:47):
then people will want to be around you. To me,
I feel you pulling away from everybody, and that's not
a healthy place to be. You need to be healthy
and in a place of life light, and the cockroaches
don't want to come your way because cockroaches don't want
to play in light. So you build kind of an
area where the sun comes in and shines and there's
(08:12):
you know, productivity going on, whether it be hobbies or
interests or things like this, not just sitting on the
couch pondering the world affairs or problems or these types
of things, but really engaging life and letting it engage
you back. And people will want to be around that naturally.
But if you start pulling away from people, if you say, hey,
you know, my mom has hurt me and I don't
(08:36):
have the best relationship with her. But to your son,
you say that doesn't mean that I don't want you
to have a relationship with her. But if she ever
does anything that makes you feel bad about yourself or
hurts you, I want you. I want you to tell me,
and I want to be a place where you feel
safe and things. But just because I had a bad
relationship with her or don't have a healthy one, doesn't
(08:58):
mean that you can't just be aware of pitfalls and
know that I'm here for you should they occur. But
you know, you may have more similarities with your mom
than you think, and that brings up all kinds of
other headbutting. But ultimately there's nothing wrong with people defining
their own you know, boundaries and saying you have to
(09:19):
come here in this context, in this way. I just
don't want you to shut out everyone in your life. Mark,
Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Hi, how are you.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
I'm well, How can I help you?
Speaker 4 (09:32):
Thanks for taking my call. Well, I'm hoping you can
clear a couple of things up for me, Yes, sir,
being that there you know, the existence of several for
lack of a better term, like mainstream religions exist in
different parts of the planet, and apparently we're born at
different times. How do you I'm having the problem with
(09:58):
one thing is know he you know. And obviously people
are very uh you know, devout to their own religion,
and it doesn't make sense that all of them can.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Well, no, the battles between the religion. There's an old
saying that that they can all be wrong, but they
can't all be right because the fact that that by
the very nature of these belief systems, Mark, they contradict
each other, and they can't all be right, but they
can all be wrong. So are you asking what's the
best way to decide which one's right?
Speaker 4 (10:38):
Well, not necessarily which one is right, but but why
you know why, let's say Christianity is I mean I
was I was raised Catholic. Okay, so you know, I
don't know a whole lot about a lot of the
other religions, you know, enough to be staying or such
(11:00):
about it, you know, but you know, I do know
that they are diametrically opposed in a lot of in
a lot of areas, and you know they can't coexist.
And well certain you know, like the Muslims, the the.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Hardcore, well they can they could coexist emotionally, and you
know intellectually they're allowed to co exist. That when it
comes to the different belief systems, Mark, they you have
to weigh at all against each other. I mean, this
is why it becomes a personal search. If if you
look at a mountain, or you look at you know
(11:37):
in days gone past, where they had to create roads,
they there were you know, it depended where you started
from to where you made the road. And you kind
of cut it through this way and cut through that way,
But sooner or later one path seemed to run ahead
of the rest because it was probably more efficient and
better for everyone. So those little trails kind of went
(12:00):
by the wayside, and then you had highways and byways
and all of these things. So when it comes to
a belief system, you start asking yourself, well, which one's
right or are they all wrong? And that's the unfortunate
thing is a lot of people will say they're all
wrong because it takes too much to kind of decipher.
But it really doesn't if you take the time. Regardless
of where you grow up, when you're raised, you have
(12:23):
the ability to change your mind. You can look around
and say, you know what, it doesn't make sense to
me anymore, or I don't like what it stands for.
What have you? You can search and if there is
a belief system out there that's worth its weight, it'll
be one that adheres to truth. You should be able
to dig through and continue to find answers that reinforce
(12:45):
it being true and not having to push it to
you know, by the wayside and go it doesn't matter
or it doesn't matter, Oh that's okay. That it believes
this and we'll just push on through. You should be
able to get a chunk of truth, and that's part
of the process, and you need to weigh them against
each other. Problem comes in everybody thinks of religion as
(13:06):
an emotional thing, so they start going, Oh, I don't
want to I don't want to tell that person they're wrong,
and you don't want to be ugly. But if you're
searching for truth, that's what I said. If you're a
devout truth seeker, then you're always going to be fine.
It's when you just get become devout about one thing
and you don't want to hear anything else, that's when
there's problems. But that doesn't mean that there isn't a
(13:26):
true belief system, just means there's a lot of untrue
ones as well. Mary, Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show. Hi. Well, Hello, Mary, Hey,
how can hey? How can I help you?
Speaker 4 (13:42):
I'm a friend who that all of the prophecies and
Bible have been completed?
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Is this the case? Well? Has the Second Coming happened yet?
Speaker 4 (13:54):
No, That's why I was wondering, Well.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Then there's at least one Uh No, all of thees
have not taken place as of yet, so I'm not
sure what the agenda or specific nature or what belief
system are they is the person saying this Christian yes,
a little.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
Over the edge. So okay, there was recently what she
called a modern day prophet at their church. Okay, after
that that was they.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
Started changing their life.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
And I'm kind of getting grief about buying a new
house and stuff.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Oh, that's okay. Without saying the name of the church,
I would say that that that type of movement called
the shepherding movement and things like that is where the
church is really active in telling you who you can marry,
and what house you can buy and when to buy,
and what to do with your money and these types
of things. That's not a healthy church. Now, I'm only
(14:55):
getting the information you're giving to me. But I would
say that from just a little bit that you've told me,
it's not a church that I would recommend or that
I would you know, endorse in any way, shape or form.
So those practices start getting into some heretical teachings in
(15:17):
the church. So that is just my thought to you.
And as far as the academic side of the question, no,
all of the prophecies haven't been fulfilled because the Book
of Revelation talks about end times and so you're still here.
I'm not sure how else other that you could prove
(15:38):
it than just by going, well, you're still here and
this show notwithstanding wink wink, nudge nudge, the second Coming
has not occurred. So that would put that in a
very difficult position to prove on her end. Jeff, Welcome
(15:58):
to the Jesus Christ Show. Well, Jesus, Hi, Jeff, what's
going on?
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Well, my question is basically I was without a job,
feeling a desperation, and I have a child, so it
wasn't just for myself, it's it's there's nothing like the
desperation of a parent with a kid and in need.
So I didn't have any work and basically it was
(16:24):
out of money. It was starting to lose everything, and
I got a job. Now, the difference in my joy
and feeling from the desperation to the security of the
job was is, you know, unexplainable. But my question is
basically surrounded around should I be thinking God in that
(16:48):
time of desperation, thanking him for that, just as well
as when I got the job, thanking him and because.
Speaker 4 (16:55):
It really.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Toils with my mind as far as you know what
is about this joy thing and the circumstance. You know,
I'm just a human being. I'm not a saint, so
I don't feel I don't feel joyful when I'm about
to lose my place, you know, my place to live
and I have a kid to house.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Of course not I mean if you're going to naturally
feel the pain in the situation and get lost in that.
But in the perspective of God, God wants you to
see the fact that God never leaves you, and that
out of all the things, if you had to choose
to lose, hopefully God would be the last thing you'd
want to lose. Therefore, there's always joy in the presence
(17:44):
of God, so says Scripture. And it's the fullness of joy.
The fullness of joy is not just the you know
in rapture, in the in the yelling and jumping. If
you look at the Old Testament, often in the Old
Testament you see that there's an experiential last back to
joy that they're when during a festival and they're making
noise and they're singing, and they're out in the streets,
(18:07):
and that's a different type of expression. There's going to
be another part of joy in this fullness of joy
that is odd to humans because it's you're used to thinking, well,
joy and happiness have to be some sort of elation
based on this thing that's happening to me. But it's
not about that either. You are in a state of
(18:27):
joy because you know there is a God who loves
you and that has that God has a.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Plan for you, and should I thank Him for the
like that, uh, you know, like not having just as
well as having.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Of course, you should always pray for those things that
God gives you and the things that God takes away
because for whatever reason they aren't the best thing for you.
And there are things that just land in the middle
where they're just you know, poor decisions, or that that
season has ended and it's time to move on to
something else or whatever.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Bible So you're saying that the Bible does say that
we could be joyful in the midst of the like
the desperation of like losing my place and not having
any money or anything.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Absolutely, absolutely, it's because you're you're not. When your joy
is there only because of things, then you're that is
where you're seeking your You're you're sinking the entirety of
yourself into those things.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Well, I know we say things, but when you have,
when you have to feed your kid, it's like it
means much more than things.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Yet I I understand there's a process through all of that. However,
if you're trusting in God to see other opportunities or
to use your skills, and I don't mean in a
lazy sense, if you're sitting back and you're not doing
anything and you're not the very skills you have to
offer anybody for money, Jeff, they come from God. So
(19:56):
to have joy in the fact that you even have
those skills. There there's joy to be had in all situations,
being and small, and all trials, but the focus is off.
Of course, you want to feed your child, and there's
no joy in seeing a hungry child. But there's joy.
There's joy knowing that there are places that will feed you.
There's joy and knowing that there are places that are
(20:18):
designed to give you a leg up. There's a joy
in knowing that that that that love or that even
desire for charity comes from the direct heart of God.
Man doesn't sit there going get yeah, I want help
for the sake of help. Those are propulsions from God.
And to be in that state of understanding that that
(20:40):
you know, rejoicing in hope, as it says in Romans
twelve twelve, that you are rejoicing in not what's in
front of you, but what you know, what is what
is capable because God is there, and that very that
very capability wouldn't exist without God, that very possibility of hope.
And to consider all things joy, it says in James
(21:02):
one two. When you encounter various trials, why because those
trials are going to strengthen you. They're going to build
up your character and who you are. There as many things.
Everybody wants the simple way and believes the simple way
is the Godly way. And it's not if it comes
out of a box and you mix it with water
and then you have a blessed day and a blessed life.
That's not how it works. Trials by fire and the things,
(21:26):
the things that you learn the most in life. The
reason why you're calling me today is because of pain,
because of sadness, because of a trial that moved you intensely.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
Yeah, And I couldn't believe the difference in fe in
my feeling of the no security and that security all saiden.
It was like, Wow, everything's okay, and it doesn't seem
like that's very deep, you know, deep, it seems like
it's circumstantial.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Well, let's hope not that that that belongs in a
place where you are now tasting of a of a
more deep and fulfilling joy, a real joy, Because if
it's just about stuff coming in and out of your life, Jeff,
then what is that?
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Well, isn't that God itself?
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Though?
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Is it that circumstance God?
Speaker 2 (22:22):
No, it's a piece of the of the gift of
life and being able to experience these the things around
you and making decisions, good decisions, hopefully godly decisions that
inlign themselves with the will of God so that life
has productivity and meaning while you are here for the
limited time that you're here, and those all point to God, sure,
(22:45):
but they're there. The fullness of joy comes from understanding that.
It's that there's no one thing that's going to bring
you all of that. The fullness is understanding that that
comes from God and God alone. You know, even in
times of pain, I've seen people that are very sick
and they've been married for a long time and one
(23:06):
of them is sick, and regardless of how much pain
they're in, their love never ceases for their mate. They
still have that intense love even though they're in intense pain,
because the pain shouldn't dictate whether the love's there or not.
And likewise, any pain in life shouldn't dictate the joy
(23:27):
of the believer and the understanding that God is with you,
and that God created you, and that God has a
purpose for you, that God loves you and is with
you even in pain. And it's that's just the opposite
of what the world teaches you. From moment one. Moment one,
they say, Okay, you come out running. You grab as
(23:48):
much as you can make, as much as you can
live in the biggest house, that you can drive, the
most beautiful car, that you can get the most beautiful woman,
or get the smartest man, or I guess you can
get the most beautiful man and the smartest woman as well.
And you get those, You get those things, and you're
(24:09):
good to go. And then what you do is you
find out later these people never had joy at all.
They had some fun times hedonistically, they got to do
what they want when they wanted to, and that felt nice,
But it doesn't sustain itself. It can't because it's just
things on top of things on top of things. There's
(24:31):
no there's never really that that understanding. It's almost like
holding up a small pocket mirror and having joy standing
behind you. It's like, well, yeah, you see a bit
of the face, maybe the eyes, you can make it out. Okay,
I think that's joy, and you see it, but it's not.
You're really just holding the mirror. You're not even really
(24:53):
holding joy. And that's what these materialistic things can do oftentimes,
is that people begin to think that they're the joy
and they're not, and they go through this manic cycle
of where they have to buy things to make themselves happy,
and then that doesn't work, so you have to buy
bigger things. That's never going to work. And you don't
want that for your child either. You want you want
(25:16):
comfort and security and that doesn't always come from things. Right.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
I noticed that my kid was almost more okay when
we were in desperation than I was, and that says
a lot about, you know, the innocence of kids, because
they for some she, for some reason, wasn't as panicked
as I was. And I'm all caught up in the
things like you're saying.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Well oftentimes, and I'm glad you pointed that out, because
that's usually the case. A lot of times. The kids
aren't freaked out. One. Kids are going to watch you
on how to react. However, they don't see the dire
straits that you do, because kids are much more hopeful
than adults. You see the problems and the hurdles, and
that's all you see. But the child looks the situation says, well,
all I know that I'm with my dad more than
(26:03):
I used to be when he was working all the
time or when he was this. That's because that's what
comforts the child. The child so knows that you love
them and that you will do anything to provide for them,
that they stay in that state of comfort. And what
I'm trying to get the place I'm trying to get
you two is that right behind you is your father
(26:26):
in heaven, and he wants you to have a healthy
and balanced but similar attitude as your child, knowing that
God will provide, not when you're sitting on a couch
with your finger in your nose. You need to be
productive and active in the process. But that your father
(26:49):
in heaven doesn't want to see you sitting with nothing,
and that your child is at peace knowing well, Dad's
right here, He's going to take care of me. And
that peace is actual joy. Why doesn't interrupt the child?
Doesn't The child's life is like everything's a okay because
(27:09):
that child, in their simplicity, believes it's all going to
be okay. Is embedded in hope, embedded in comfort, embedded
in joy, and that's all the That's the same place
I'm asking you to get to, Nikki quickly. Welcome to
the Jesus Christ Show.
Speaker 4 (27:31):
Hi, yis well. My questions theological and it is whether
or not once you get to.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Have and you can never be kicked out only for
smoking or talking too loud, you will or like no on.
Once you're in heaven, you're in. The only ones that
can get kicked out of heaven have been kicked out
of heaven, and that was Satan and the fallen angels.
And that's because angels are inherently different than human beings
(27:58):
in the sense that although they're creation, they have the
total sume knowledge they will ever have at the point
of creation because they are in the presence of God
in a way differently than you are. So in that sense,
they are like, imagine an eight ounce glass that's filled up.
That's its full potential. It can never be more than
(28:19):
that aight OUN's class. So that's kind of what an
angel is, whereas a human is an empty eight ounce
glass that's being filled up throughout their life.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
So once you get there, it's impossible to sin.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Exactly. There is no sin in heaven. There's no tears
in heaven, there's no rebellion in heaven. None of that
exists to the human because the human has made the
decision throughout life fill that glass with understanding and then
to make a choice that becomes an eternal choice at
the point of death. So it can't be the same
reason why somebody can't say forget God, forget God, forget God,
(28:53):
and then all of a sudden on the other side
of death, go oh, I was wrong. I'd like to
recan't because that choice is made now in full. Otherwise
you wouldn't. They wouldn't matter what you believed here. So
the process is different. And once you're you know in
heaven that is for good, and that's for eternity to
(29:15):
be in the presence of God, So no getting booted out,
nothing like that. But just for reference, for those of
you that are heavy smokers, no you're not going to
be smoking in heaven. It was just a joke, So
no smoking in heaven. Thank you so much for taking
the time to listen to the show. I hope you
(29:35):
join us every single Sunday, same time, same place, right here.
Remember these words, I Am with you always.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
KFI AM six forty on demand
You're listening to KFI AM six forty on demand.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Shannon, Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show. Hello, Hi Shannon.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Oh Hi, I'm sorry. Hello Jesus. I'm supposed to say
you broke up and I didn't hear my name.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Not a problem, my dear. How can I help you?
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Well, I have two things, and I hope I can
just condense them, so I don't go on and on with.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Well me too, condense away.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
You know how things stockpile sometimes. Indeed, it seems like
the first thing my family is well, we'll just say
my mother is eighty four and my father is eighty seven,
just a brief history of time. I don't really have
(00:49):
that much of a connection with my father because he
was gone since I was two and I'm well into
my fifties. And my mother, I've kind have stayed away
from her, so you could say I haven't seen her
in five years, but she's not too far away, and
there is someone that I talked to that brings her
up occasionally. Now, the history of my family is one
(01:13):
of of of triangulation techniques, heavy politics, deeply entrenched, so
I've kind of been drawn into that on and off
throughout my life, and even as a child, I recognized it.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Okay, so trying that's kind of a sort of a
pop psychology, yeah, term, but it pulls in, always pulling
in a third party, scapegoating, all playing both ends against
the middle of those types of things.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Right, And you know that's an old that's an old game.
It goes goes way back to the beginning of time. Sure,
but as a child you don't understand it. I've spent
years trying to figure out what that was and how
how it's actually affected me, to the point that at
this stage in my life, I've totally isolated myself from it.
(02:05):
That's the only way I can deal with it, because
otherwise I get sucked back in.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Okay, so let's bring you to today and your questions
for me.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
I can't have the family experience that is portrayed, you know,
in the world, the one that we're supposed to have,
that we're pressured to have. And you know, my mother's
getting older, and I don't know how I'm supposed to behave.
I would like to interact with my mother, but there's
so many danger zones, not only with my mother but
(02:35):
who she is, you know, who the other people she
draws into the picture that create problems, and to me,
it really is a dangerous place to be. But I
have feelings about my mother, you know. But after working
through this, after all these years, I've come to the point,
(02:56):
and this was the question I had to your person
to answer the phone. Is is it possible that you
you can't make peace with your family and you have
to make peace with that?
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Yes? And oftentimes really know, you.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Know, because you know, if you're gnashing of the teeth
and soul searching and all that, you know, really self analyzation.
You know, can you come to a place, you know
where you know for sure that you you can't go
back there?
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Well, you can define define certain you know, fair areas
first of all, Norman Rockwellian type. Uh, you know, turkey
coming out, piping hot and family sitting around and all
of that stuff doesn't exist and shouldn't exist. Uh, it's
not it's you're not seeking perfection. What you are seeking
is is excellence, which is to spend time with you know,
(03:47):
it's kind of what you end up hitting on the
way to perfection that everybody wants. That's important. And uh,
it's not that that you're ever going to hit that
expectations is the killer of all things, this kind of
notion that, well, I expect the family should be this
what you should expect is fairness and the lack of
hostility and humanness to one another and familiarity and all
(04:10):
these things. And you play a part in that with
your mother. In the case of your question with your mother,
it's really about defining your kind of borders and saying, Okay,
this is how I will see her. I will see
her on my terms in places of safety that I
feel secure, and that's it. And you won't, you know,
(04:35):
you find them on their level. It's interesting that if
if your mother was born without legs, or heaven forbid,
in some accident where she didn't have legs, you wouldn't
be calling me saying, you know, I am a little
upset because I like to run and my mother can't run,
(04:57):
so so I don't want to be around her because
she can't run. You'd find ways to spend time with
her in places she was capable of enjoying that mutual time.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Correct, well, I've done that. I've done that, and even
then it seriously became a danger zone.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
This then it shows, but then it shows that she
has more damage there. If she has more damage or
she can't interact with you, then that's the equivalent of
her being dead emotionally. And in that case, that's a
place where you have to come to peace with and
that that's not your family unit. If family unit is
not just your biological family. If you pull away from everyone,
(05:41):
that's something you've done. Pulling away from those that hurts
you is one thing, but assuming everyone's going to hurt
you is just silliness.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Okay. Second part of that question is if that person,
I know, I can't control people, but my child, Okay,
he's grown, he's a professional, he has had a life.
This my mother. You know, I've never tried to control
her relationships because I understand how why people do that.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Okay, now I've.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Risen above it, and I understand that she has to
do that, and that's her, that's her. But if if
she's before she leaves this world, is trying to infect
my child with that? And all myself left is prayer.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
But how so he's trying to infect your child with
what with the with the same.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Kind of talking about what family is, as if as
if she knows that's what family is I have to
trust that my son can understand.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Absolutely you're the one that gave him the tools, but
this exactly, and if you've you've got to be able
to show examples of these things and not just demonize
people or say, well, they're going to do this. People
are who they are. And and my my biggest fear, Shannon,
is that you throw a lot of terms around and
(07:04):
there's a lot of understanding, but I don't hear a
lot of application. And those two things can be very
detrimental because I hear this a lot in kind of
the self help movement and these types of things, is
that people learn terms or learn how to self diagnose,
but then don't apply it in their life. And I'm
(07:25):
and you know, we're only limited in our time today
to talk about it, so we're not going to hear everything.
I'm telling you these things so that you can be
careful and see signs of problems. But it's very easy
to learn the terms and go, oh, well, I'm doing
this or I'm feeling this, or I understand this, and
not apply them. If you are in a place of healthiness,
(07:47):
then people will want to be around you. To me,
I feel you pulling away from everybody, and that's not
a healthy place to be. You need to be healthy
and in a place of life light, and the cockroaches
don't want to come your way because cockroaches don't want
to play in light. So you build kind of an
area where the sun comes in and shines and there's
(08:12):
you know, productivity going on, whether it be hobbies or
interests or things like this, not just sitting on the
couch pondering the world affairs or problems or these types
of things, but really engaging life and letting it engage
you back. And people will want to be around that naturally.
But if you start pulling away from people, if you say, hey,
you know, my mom has hurt me and I don't
(08:36):
have the best relationship with her. But to your son,
you say that doesn't mean that I don't want you
to have a relationship with her. But if she ever
does anything that makes you feel bad about yourself or
hurts you, I want you. I want you to tell me,
and I want to be a place where you feel
safe and things. But just because I had a bad
relationship with her or don't have a healthy one, doesn't
(08:58):
mean that you can't just be aware of pitfalls and
know that I'm here for you should they occur. But
you know, you may have more similarities with your mom
than you think, and that brings up all kinds of
other headbutting. But ultimately there's nothing wrong with people defining
their own you know, boundaries and saying you have to
(09:19):
come here in this context, in this way. I just
don't want you to shut out everyone in your life. Mark,
Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Hi, how are you.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
I'm well, How can I help you?
Speaker 4 (09:32):
Thanks for taking my call. Well, I'm hoping you can
clear a couple of things up for me, Yes, sir,
being that there you know, the existence of several for
lack of a better term, like mainstream religions exist in
different parts of the planet, and apparently we're born at
different times. How do you I'm having the problem with
(09:58):
one thing is know he you know. And obviously people
are very uh you know, devout to their own religion,
and it doesn't make sense that all of them can.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Well, no, the battles between the religion. There's an old
saying that that they can all be wrong, but they
can't all be right because the fact that that by
the very nature of these belief systems, Mark, they contradict
each other, and they can't all be right, but they
can all be wrong. So are you asking what's the
best way to decide which one's right?
Speaker 4 (10:38):
Well, not necessarily which one is right, but but why
you know why, let's say Christianity is I mean I
was I was raised Catholic. Okay, so you know, I
don't know a whole lot about a lot of the
other religions, you know, enough to be staying or such
(11:00):
about it, you know, but you know, I do know
that they are diametrically opposed in a lot of in
a lot of areas, and you know they can't coexist.
And well certain you know, like the Muslims, the the.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Hardcore, well they can they could coexist emotionally, and you
know intellectually they're allowed to co exist. That when it
comes to the different belief systems, Mark, they you have
to weigh at all against each other. I mean, this
is why it becomes a personal search. If if you
look at a mountain, or you look at you know
(11:37):
in days gone past, where they had to create roads,
they there were you know, it depended where you started
from to where you made the road. And you kind
of cut it through this way and cut through that way,
But sooner or later one path seemed to run ahead
of the rest because it was probably more efficient and
better for everyone. So those little trails kind of went
(12:00):
by the wayside, and then you had highways and byways
and all of these things. So when it comes to
a belief system, you start asking yourself, well, which one's
right or are they all wrong? And that's the unfortunate
thing is a lot of people will say they're all
wrong because it takes too much to kind of decipher.
But it really doesn't if you take the time. Regardless
of where you grow up, when you're raised, you have
(12:23):
the ability to change your mind. You can look around
and say, you know what, it doesn't make sense to
me anymore, or I don't like what it stands for.
What have you? You can search and if there is
a belief system out there that's worth its weight, it'll
be one that adheres to truth. You should be able
to dig through and continue to find answers that reinforce
(12:45):
it being true and not having to push it to
you know, by the wayside and go it doesn't matter
or it doesn't matter, Oh that's okay. That it believes
this and we'll just push on through. You should be
able to get a chunk of truth, and that's part
of the process, and you need to weigh them against
each other. Problem comes in everybody thinks of religion as
(13:06):
an emotional thing, so they start going, Oh, I don't
want to I don't want to tell that person they're wrong,
and you don't want to be ugly. But if you're
searching for truth, that's what I said. If you're a
devout truth seeker, then you're always going to be fine.
It's when you just get become devout about one thing
and you don't want to hear anything else, that's when
there's problems. But that doesn't mean that there isn't a
(13:26):
true belief system, just means there's a lot of untrue
ones as well. Mary, Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show. Hi. Well, Hello, Mary, Hey,
how can hey? How can I help you?
Speaker 4 (13:42):
I'm a friend who that all of the prophecies and
Bible have been completed?
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Is this the case? Well? Has the Second Coming happened yet?
Speaker 4 (13:54):
No, That's why I was wondering, Well.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Then there's at least one Uh No, all of thees
have not taken place as of yet, so I'm not
sure what the agenda or specific nature or what belief
system are they is the person saying this Christian yes,
a little.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
Over the edge. So okay, there was recently what she
called a modern day prophet at their church. Okay, after
that that was they.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
Started changing their life.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
And I'm kind of getting grief about buying a new
house and stuff.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Oh, that's okay. Without saying the name of the church,
I would say that that that type of movement called
the shepherding movement and things like that is where the
church is really active in telling you who you can marry,
and what house you can buy and when to buy,
and what to do with your money and these types
of things. That's not a healthy church. Now, I'm only
(14:55):
getting the information you're giving to me. But I would
say that from just a little bit that you've told me,
it's not a church that I would recommend or that
I would you know, endorse in any way, shape or form.
So those practices start getting into some heretical teachings in
(15:17):
the church. So that is just my thought to you.
And as far as the academic side of the question, no,
all of the prophecies haven't been fulfilled because the Book
of Revelation talks about end times and so you're still here.
I'm not sure how else other that you could prove
(15:38):
it than just by going, well, you're still here and
this show notwithstanding wink wink, nudge nudge, the second Coming
has not occurred. So that would put that in a
very difficult position to prove on her end. Jeff, Welcome
(15:58):
to the Jesus Christ Show. Well, Jesus, Hi, Jeff, what's
going on?
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Well, my question is basically I was without a job,
feeling a desperation, and I have a child, so it
wasn't just for myself, it's it's there's nothing like the
desperation of a parent with a kid and in need.
So I didn't have any work and basically it was
(16:24):
out of money. It was starting to lose everything, and
I got a job. Now, the difference in my joy
and feeling from the desperation to the security of the
job was is, you know, unexplainable. But my question is
basically surrounded around should I be thinking God in that
(16:48):
time of desperation, thanking him for that, just as well
as when I got the job, thanking him and because.
Speaker 4 (16:55):
It really.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Toils with my mind as far as you know what
is about this joy thing and the circumstance. You know,
I'm just a human being. I'm not a saint, so
I don't feel I don't feel joyful when I'm about
to lose my place, you know, my place to live
and I have a kid to house.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Of course not I mean if you're going to naturally
feel the pain in the situation and get lost in that.
But in the perspective of God, God wants you to
see the fact that God never leaves you, and that
out of all the things, if you had to choose
to lose, hopefully God would be the last thing you'd
want to lose. Therefore, there's always joy in the presence
(17:44):
of God, so says Scripture. And it's the fullness of joy.
The fullness of joy is not just the you know
in rapture, in the in the yelling and jumping. If
you look at the Old Testament, often in the Old
Testament you see that there's an experiential last back to
joy that they're when during a festival and they're making
noise and they're singing, and they're out in the streets,
(18:07):
and that's a different type of expression. There's going to
be another part of joy in this fullness of joy
that is odd to humans because it's you're used to thinking, well,
joy and happiness have to be some sort of elation
based on this thing that's happening to me. But it's
not about that either. You are in a state of
(18:27):
joy because you know there is a God who loves
you and that has that God has a.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Plan for you, and should I thank Him for the
like that, uh, you know, like not having just as
well as having.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Of course, you should always pray for those things that
God gives you and the things that God takes away
because for whatever reason they aren't the best thing for you.
And there are things that just land in the middle
where they're just you know, poor decisions, or that that
season has ended and it's time to move on to
something else or whatever.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Bible So you're saying that the Bible does say that
we could be joyful in the midst of the like
the desperation of like losing my place and not having
any money or anything.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Absolutely, absolutely, it's because you're you're not. When your joy
is there only because of things, then you're that is
where you're seeking your You're you're sinking the entirety of
yourself into those things.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Well, I know we say things, but when you have,
when you have to feed your kid, it's like it
means much more than things.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Yet I I understand there's a process through all of that. However,
if you're trusting in God to see other opportunities or
to use your skills, and I don't mean in a
lazy sense, if you're sitting back and you're not doing
anything and you're not the very skills you have to
offer anybody for money, Jeff, they come from God. So
(19:56):
to have joy in the fact that you even have
those skills. There there's joy to be had in all situations,
being and small, and all trials, but the focus is off.
Of course, you want to feed your child, and there's
no joy in seeing a hungry child. But there's joy.
There's joy knowing that there are places that will feed you.
There's joy and knowing that there are places that are
(20:18):
designed to give you a leg up. There's a joy
in knowing that that that that love or that even
desire for charity comes from the direct heart of God.
Man doesn't sit there going get yeah, I want help
for the sake of help. Those are propulsions from God.
And to be in that state of understanding that that
(20:40):
you know, rejoicing in hope, as it says in Romans
twelve twelve, that you are rejoicing in not what's in
front of you, but what you know, what is what
is capable because God is there, and that very that
very capability wouldn't exist without God, that very possibility of hope.
And to consider all things joy, it says in James
(21:02):
one two. When you encounter various trials, why because those
trials are going to strengthen you. They're going to build
up your character and who you are. There as many things.
Everybody wants the simple way and believes the simple way
is the Godly way. And it's not if it comes
out of a box and you mix it with water
and then you have a blessed day and a blessed life.
That's not how it works. Trials by fire and the things,
(21:26):
the things that you learn the most in life. The
reason why you're calling me today is because of pain,
because of sadness, because of a trial that moved you intensely.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
Yeah, And I couldn't believe the difference in fe in
my feeling of the no security and that security all saiden.
It was like, Wow, everything's okay, and it doesn't seem
like that's very deep, you know, deep, it seems like
it's circumstantial.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Well, let's hope not that that that belongs in a
place where you are now tasting of a of a
more deep and fulfilling joy, a real joy, Because if
it's just about stuff coming in and out of your life, Jeff,
then what is that?
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Well, isn't that God itself?
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Though?
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Is it that circumstance God?
Speaker 2 (22:22):
No, it's a piece of the of the gift of
life and being able to experience these the things around
you and making decisions, good decisions, hopefully godly decisions that
inlign themselves with the will of God so that life
has productivity and meaning while you are here for the
limited time that you're here, and those all point to God, sure,
(22:45):
but they're there. The fullness of joy comes from understanding that.
It's that there's no one thing that's going to bring
you all of that. The fullness is understanding that that
comes from God and God alone. You know, even in
times of pain, I've seen people that are very sick
and they've been married for a long time and one
(23:06):
of them is sick, and regardless of how much pain
they're in, their love never ceases for their mate. They
still have that intense love even though they're in intense pain,
because the pain shouldn't dictate whether the love's there or not.
And likewise, any pain in life shouldn't dictate the joy
(23:27):
of the believer and the understanding that God is with you,
and that God created you, and that God has a
purpose for you, that God loves you and is with
you even in pain. And it's that's just the opposite
of what the world teaches you. From moment one. Moment one,
they say, Okay, you come out running. You grab as
(23:48):
much as you can make, as much as you can
live in the biggest house, that you can drive, the
most beautiful car, that you can get the most beautiful woman,
or get the smartest man, or I guess you can
get the most beautiful man and the smartest woman as well.
And you get those, You get those things, and you're
(24:09):
good to go. And then what you do is you
find out later these people never had joy at all.
They had some fun times hedonistically, they got to do
what they want when they wanted to, and that felt nice,
But it doesn't sustain itself. It can't because it's just
things on top of things on top of things. There's
(24:31):
no there's never really that that understanding. It's almost like
holding up a small pocket mirror and having joy standing
behind you. It's like, well, yeah, you see a bit
of the face, maybe the eyes, you can make it out. Okay,
I think that's joy, and you see it, but it's not.
You're really just holding the mirror. You're not even really
(24:53):
holding joy. And that's what these materialistic things can do oftentimes,
is that people begin to think that they're the joy
and they're not, and they go through this manic cycle
of where they have to buy things to make themselves happy,
and then that doesn't work, so you have to buy
bigger things. That's never going to work. And you don't
want that for your child either. You want you want
(25:16):
comfort and security and that doesn't always come from things. Right.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
I noticed that my kid was almost more okay when
we were in desperation than I was, and that says
a lot about, you know, the innocence of kids, because
they for some she, for some reason, wasn't as panicked
as I was. And I'm all caught up in the
things like you're saying.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Well oftentimes, and I'm glad you pointed that out, because
that's usually the case. A lot of times. The kids
aren't freaked out. One. Kids are going to watch you
on how to react. However, they don't see the dire
straits that you do, because kids are much more hopeful
than adults. You see the problems and the hurdles, and
that's all you see. But the child looks the situation says, well,
all I know that I'm with my dad more than
(26:03):
I used to be when he was working all the
time or when he was this. That's because that's what
comforts the child. The child so knows that you love
them and that you will do anything to provide for them,
that they stay in that state of comfort. And what
I'm trying to get the place I'm trying to get
you two is that right behind you is your father
(26:26):
in heaven, and he wants you to have a healthy
and balanced but similar attitude as your child, knowing that
God will provide, not when you're sitting on a couch
with your finger in your nose. You need to be
productive and active in the process. But that your father
(26:49):
in heaven doesn't want to see you sitting with nothing,
and that your child is at peace knowing well, Dad's
right here, He's going to take care of me. And
that peace is actual joy. Why doesn't interrupt the child?
Doesn't The child's life is like everything's a okay because
(27:09):
that child, in their simplicity, believes it's all going to
be okay. Is embedded in hope, embedded in comfort, embedded
in joy, and that's all the That's the same place
I'm asking you to get to, Nikki quickly. Welcome to
the Jesus Christ Show.
Speaker 4 (27:31):
Hi, yis well. My questions theological and it is whether
or not once you get to.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Have and you can never be kicked out only for
smoking or talking too loud, you will or like no on.
Once you're in heaven, you're in. The only ones that
can get kicked out of heaven have been kicked out
of heaven, and that was Satan and the fallen angels.
And that's because angels are inherently different than human beings
(27:58):
in the sense that although they're creation, they have the
total sume knowledge they will ever have at the point
of creation because they are in the presence of God
in a way differently than you are. So in that sense,
they are like, imagine an eight ounce glass that's filled up.
That's its full potential. It can never be more than
(28:19):
that aight OUN's class. So that's kind of what an
angel is, whereas a human is an empty eight ounce
glass that's being filled up throughout their life.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
So once you get there, it's impossible to sin.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Exactly. There is no sin in heaven. There's no tears
in heaven, there's no rebellion in heaven. None of that
exists to the human because the human has made the
decision throughout life fill that glass with understanding and then
to make a choice that becomes an eternal choice at
the point of death. So it can't be the same
reason why somebody can't say forget God, forget God, forget God,
(28:53):
and then all of a sudden on the other side
of death, go oh, I was wrong. I'd like to
recan't because that choice is made now in full. Otherwise
you wouldn't. They wouldn't matter what you believed here. So
the process is different. And once you're you know in
heaven that is for good, and that's for eternity to
(29:15):
be in the presence of God, So no getting booted out,
nothing like that. But just for reference, for those of
you that are heavy smokers, no you're not going to
be smoking in heaven. It was just a joke, So
no smoking in heaven. Thank you so much for taking
the time to listen to the show. I hope you
(29:35):
join us every single Sunday, same time, same place, right here.
Remember these words, I Am with you always.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
KFI AM six forty on demand
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!