Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're listening to KFI AM six forty on demand. Ken,
Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
How about James.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
You think I'm good? Ken? How are you?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
I'm doing very well. I had a question for you.
I'm single and I want to be married, and I
don't like dating. I don't I would rather The question is,
can I pray that God would lead a specific girl
to me or me to a specific girl, being that
(00:33):
he being that you know everything, and you know what's
around the corner and down the road, and it would
be very important to me that it would be someone
that would be very helpful. Sure, the soul.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Mate, the right mate, Well, a few things to look at.
Is one. There's nowhere in scripture that says there's one
person for you until you marry them. Once you marry,
that should be the person. So it's not about you know,
having a soulmate s o U l mate. It's about
(01:11):
having a soul mate, just one. So that's the important part. Now,
sometimes people get caught up in looking for the perfect
person so intensely that they miss all the wonderful, imperfect
people just like themselves that are available. So you do
(01:33):
a little checklist with yourself and you say, because being
single and being available are two different things. You can
be single and not have someone in your life and
still not be emotionally at that place or intellectually at
that place where you're ready to have that relationship. If
you check all those things off and you say, okay,
I'm ready to go, then you get. Then you move
(01:54):
forward in prayer so that God will help you with discernment.
Not about you know, just lead me to this person.
You're a part, You're a participant in this. That's like
you know, sitting in front of your broken down car
and say, God, fix this. No, you know, guide my hand,
give me the intellect, the ability, the will, the desire
(02:16):
to learn and to make the best decision I can
and to live with the consequences should I not. Those
are the things that you want, is that you God's
given you the tools. When you're a child and you're
being raised, your parents really is given you tools. A
bad parent is the one that does everything for you
that's not helping you because sooner or later they're not
(02:36):
going to be around. So God wants to give you
these tools on how to decide who's good for you,
and it's not just outwardly appearance. How to decide who's
going to be a healthy partner and what things is it?
Does that mean it's somebody that believes everything you do. No,
there's going to be people. You're gonna have differences, maybe
in politics or different you know, tastes in food or
(02:57):
music or what have you. All that's okay, and then
you're gonna have similarities things that you want to to,
you know, share with one another. A good place to
find somebody should you be looking, is in places that
you like to go yourself. You know, people go to
bars and things like that to meet someone, and it's
(03:18):
what are you gonna meet there? You're gonna meet someone
in a bar rather than if you like to read
and you're in a library or a bookstore or something
like that. You're you're more likely to meet somebody of
like mind or even church. These types of things are
you know, if they're a part of who you are,
then they're probably going to be a part of who
they are. Praying is a wonderful thing when it comes
(03:40):
to looking for a mate. Ken just don't get into
that pattern of kind of waiting for God to bring
them to your doorstep, because It's not about a special delivery.
It's about, you know, being confident and knowing what you
want and not settling by way of.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
You know.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
I see people that they get in the same bad
relationships over and over again just because the man or
woman is blonde hair and blue eyed. Well, that's what
I like, that's what I and so they get lost
in that rather than the character of the individual. And
and and looking at the outward outward appearance is going
to be what probably draws you in first. And these
(04:23):
are general tools that God's already given you. It's about
using them, not about necessarily God bringing them to your door.
How long have you been single? Ken?
Speaker 2 (04:33):
For years?
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Three years, yes, sir. And the last relationship how long
was it the lower fifteen years? And was it a marriage?
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Okay, so three years out of a fifteen year marriage.
Why do you think now is the.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Time that I certainly do not imply being single? Okay,
I don't want to be married to be married, but
I want someone special in my life and I.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
You.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Unfortunately the marriage didn't work out.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Why didn't Why didn't it work out?
Speaker 2 (05:15):
She fell in love with someone to help us and.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
She left you?
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (05:21):
And that's a rough one, isn't it. Yeah, that was tough,
and uh, you a little gun shy this time around.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
I guess it would be a good way to describe it.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Just remember people are individuals, Ken, and not you know,
every woman's the same and not every man's the same.
And and don't put the sins of yor ex wife
on someone new, because that's a hard You know a
lot of times guys will come out of a relationship
like that and learning to trust becomes difficult. And uh,
(06:02):
and you can't put that on the new people in
your life. You kind of have to trust them and
let them fall or stand as they may. But you
you know what you what you're looking for. What was
it about your ex wife that attracted you to her?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
She she wasn't necessarily Actually, my ex father in law
also wanted to introduce us Vietnam me for about eight
years before I ever met her, and so we introduced
and we started dating and she seemed like a wonderful person.
She is a wonderful person. But yeah, she she was
(06:43):
attractive and well educated.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
And what do you think went wrong then? Ken?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
I guess maybe over a course of time we.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Grew apart yeah, but that's I don't really accept that.
So that's not how people work. People grow. Life is
constantly going back and forth, and you're growing. People say
growing apart, but really that's that's laziness, that's just people
not wanting to participate in the marriage anymore. So what
is it that did you lose focus and start putting
(07:23):
your attention somewhere else? Or obviously she did, but what
was it? If she's a good person, you're a good person.
There's no reason why the two of you can't be together.
And something along the lines there somebody stopped paying attention
to someone else or stopped paying attention to themselves. There's
(07:43):
nothing worse than watching a loved one let themselves go,
whether it's physically, emotionally, or intellectually. They don't read, they
don't experience things, they don't care that really can you know,
lead to problems in the marriage too. But something happened
along the line, Ken, And I asked you because I
(08:04):
don't want you to bring it into the next relationship,
because you play a part in it. You you understand that, right, yes? Okay?
Speaker 2 (08:12):
In the in the works of my sister in law
who called me afterwards and talked to me. She said that,
you know, I want you to know that this is
not the first time that you know, what she described
was nine years previous. You know, she had been seeing
someone else saying as well, and she said that, you
(08:37):
know when she talked to my wife, that she had
told her years back that you know, I'm just not
in love with him, and yeah, I wish I had
not gotten married to him, and so, yeah, love.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Is a strange thing. People expect to stay in that
feeling of love and no one does. I mean, it's
a process. It's something you you work into and if
you don't work at it, it's like anything else, it
will atrophy. But I think people use that as an
excuse to kind of do what they want. Most importantly,
(09:13):
can be introspective, look at where you played a part
in that breakup, and don't bring that into the next relationship.
But if you really are seeking somebody and seek the
will of God, and you know, when you're going just
after your own lust or after what you want, let
things grow naturally and healthily and they become more stable.
(09:36):
And make sure that the soil is good, and that
means that you yourself are healthy and in a good place,
and you enjoy your own company, and then that you
are well versed in who you are before you go
bringing someone else into that equation. Dave, Welcome to Jesus Christia.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
A little thank you for taking my call.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
I appreciate it, my pleasure.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
My question is is I was invited to attend a
church by a friend, a coworker, and I did some
inquiry on the church, and their policy is that if
you are a divorced person, which I am, and it
doesn't matter why you're divorced, whether you know your spouse
had cheated or whether it was for some of them,
(10:22):
you may attend services and church functions, but you are
not able or allowed by their policy to hold membership.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
And to hold a position in leadership. Your phone broke up.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Yeah, you're not.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
Allowed to hold Actually you're not allowed to hold any
type of church membership at all, leadership or not. You're
just allowed to attend.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Oh oh that's different.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Okay, So I wanted to know your thoughts on that.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Well, there's you know, that's that's at the discretion of
that particular church. If they perceive things that way. I
will say this, it makes for kind of a strange situation.
What if if you were to have been divorced and
remarried that same person.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
You know what, I.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Didn't ask that, but I did ask about what if
you were divorced prior to being saved?
Speaker 1 (11:16):
And what was their response?
Speaker 3 (11:19):
His response was, it doesn't matter why you're divorced. And
in addition to that, it was, even if you're a
church member and for some reason or another you do
get divorced, you still may attend to church, but you
are no longer a member.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Yeah, it sounds a little harsh to me personally looking
at the fact that Jeremiah three talks about God divorcing Israel.
So now you have God committing a sin in their eyes,
and that would be a problem because divorce is one
of those things that God hates. But it's it's bigger
(11:57):
than just the word or just the act. It's the
the attitude of a disposable marriage is what's what angers God.
And I think sometimes gets people get so hyper focused
on the word and the concept that they that they
amplify that to a point where that becomes the big deal.
(12:18):
And in this particular case, now I've heard rightly so
that many people, many churches don't want anybody in leadership
to have been divorced. Usually that's that's under their understanding
of Christianity. If they're not Christians, it's technically not a
sin in the church because they don't believe in the church.
(12:42):
That's not to say that you don't sin as a
non Christian, of course you do, but it's it's the
scripture talks about why would you judge them by the
standard of Christianity If they're not Christians, you shouldn't expect
the world to act anything different than the world because
that's who they are. So I find it strange and
(13:03):
they're not really here to explain themselves. I would say
that that sounds like a church by the description you're giving,
that maybe is not the right one for you.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
Okay, well, thank you very much taking my call. I
really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
You're welcome, Dave, and churches do have their own insight
in their own ways, and it is their church, but
it doesn't mean you have to participate in it. Chris,
welcome to the Jesus Christow.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
I've been a follower and disciple for the last thirty
years of you, and I have some confusion and sometimes
frustration on how to pray to the Holy Spirit.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
What do I say?
Speaker 4 (13:46):
What do I call them disease?
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Well, what what do you mean specifically praying to the
Holy Spirit?
Speaker 4 (13:52):
Sometimes I just feel weird because I pray to my
Papa and I pray to you, and then when it
comes to the Holy Spirit, it feels weird sometimes to
say Holy Spirit or or Spirit. It's almost like it's
a way out there type of prayer.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Oh, I see, because you're not. It's it's because I
came in the physical form. You get that. And even
the concept of Father, although you don't see him, you
get that. And then the Spirit seems well, in scripture,
it's a dove and I'm going to pray to a dove.
It doesn't make sense. I understand that. You the concept, Yeah,
it gets it's a little ethereal and kind of hard
(14:31):
to to place. But in scripture you find that Matthew
six talks about praying to the heavenly Father, and and
John fourteen talks about praying in the name of Jesus Christ.
And then there's scriptures that will say pray, pray to
the Spirit. But keep in mind that in throughout scripture
(14:54):
when it talks about the Spirit the Spirit really is
who's moving you to begin with those moments. It even
says that the Spirit is praying with you, is interceding
with you when you're in prayer to begin with. So
that quite frankly, a lot of the emotional or that
physical reaction you have to a scripture or to being
(15:18):
in a church service, hearing worship or doing some of
those motivations that make you even desire to pray are
coming from the Spirit to begin with. So you really
are more intimate and understanding of the Spirit than one
may think because you're interacting with the Spirit on a
daily basis. If you imagine the Spirit is who brings
(15:39):
you to me, to motivates you, motivates you to open
your heart to me, and I bring you to the Father.
So in that relationship, when you're praying to the Spirit,
there's no difference. If it helps you to see a
physical shape or to understand that way, then so be it.
But don't think that it's The term spirit just sounds
so out there and so non tangible that it seems
(16:07):
like it gets in the way, but it really shouldn't.
It's about taking the time to pray and to focus
yourself on the things of God. And really, I'll invite
you to do this next time you pray Chris As
Scripture says, there's different ways to pray with others by yourself.
Sometimes it refers to a prayer closet of going away
(16:29):
and kind of locking yourself away. If you remember in Scripture,
there was even times where I wanted others to sit
and pray with me, and then there's times where I
just went and prayed by myself. And I want you
to take some time and go in maybe a little
more of a formal setting. And this doesn't have to
be all the time, but just for this moment and
(16:50):
go somewhere where no one else is and get in
a position that's comfortable for you and clear your mind
and clear yourself of the worries of the day and
just receive and just feel the presence of God and
start to pray. And in that time and that opportunity,
you'll be open to the interaction of God and what
(17:14):
God has and feel the spirit, feel the spirit of
God come upon you when you're starting to pray. John,
Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show.
Speaker 5 (17:25):
Oh Jesus call you today.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
I am well John, and you good excellent.
Speaker 5 (17:32):
I have a question for you, and just a little background.
My son, my youngest son, is in prison, and the
last time I visited him, we were talking and one
of the things he said to me was that he
is lonely every day.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
And prison will do that.
Speaker 5 (17:56):
What to say? And I'm thinking you might have some
good suggestions, because I'm sure the answer lies in your word,
and I would like to know what those words are.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Well, he says that, And may I ask what he's
in for.
Speaker 5 (18:17):
It's uh, he was charged with a sex crime, but
I feel he's in there for extremely bad decisions and
lack of common sense because he was given many opportunities
to avoid confinement. It's bad, Okay.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Well, there's there's a purpose to loneliness sometimes, and in
prison you can fight that loneliness. But that seems to
be part of the problem that he that got him
there in the first place was not understanding loneliness or
not understanding proper relationships to begin with. When you say
(19:04):
that plays a part, okay, So there's a lot to
be learned here just on the face of things that
taking this time or having that alone time, there's different
levels of loneliness. There's this the most simplistic level of
loneliness is the absence of another human being or the
absence of that kind of communion or companionship. Okay, and
(19:28):
that that could be just someone not there. You're by yourself,
But being by yourself isn't always being lonely, correct, correct? Okay,
So there's different levels of loneliness. In this particular case,
I think that that your son's dealing with a lot
of issues of not knowing how to be with himself,
for one. And in the case of his particular situation,
(19:52):
we don't know the details and no need to get
into the details. I ask you those things about you know,
a little sketch of ways in there, because that often
points to other things that are going on in his life. Well.
Decision making skills are poor, it seems, and also execution
of emotions or certain feelings. And so now as he
(20:15):
sits lonely in a jail cell, which is not a
bad thing, by the way, he needs to start learning
those things and understanding as to why he doesn't want
to be with himself. So, with that being said, when
it comes to scripture and faith, religion and sharing those things,
(20:38):
you can only pass along what you do yourself and say,
you know, it hurts me to hear that you were
lonely or that you have that deep loneliness when you're here.
And I can only tell you you know that that's
not going to change. There's nothing that's going to pull
you out of this this jail cell. You have your
(21:01):
sentence and you will be here for the remainder. But
I can tell you what works for me, and when
you read scripture or when you pray, or when you
spend time with God, that the walls don't matter, the
roof doesn't matter, that the room doesn't matter, Whether you're
with somebody or not with someone doesn't matter, because you're
(21:22):
with God and you share those things and you give
him the tools, and what he does with the tools
is up to him himself. But there are Bibles everywhere
in prison, and it's a matter of using them. And
he looks, from what you've told me, tends to look
for an easy way to deal with things rather than
(21:45):
the best way. And in this particular case, he's not
going anywhere, and he's confronted. He's forced to look at himself,
the ugly things he's done, the mistakes that he's made,
and that's probably not comfortable. There's no distraction, because that's
another form of loneliness, John, that people look for distraction.
They're not lonely, they're bored. They don't they don't want
(22:07):
to think about themselves. They don't want to think about
ways to change themselves, ways to grow, they don't want
to be introspective. So they're looking for distractions. And that
comes in the form of another person. Can come in
the form of video games, it can come in form
of a book, it could come in form of a
lot of things. But really he doesn't want to be
confronted with himself every single day. It sounds like, I.
Speaker 5 (22:31):
Thank you so much for these words, and I will
try to put them together and send those to them
and pray with me that it will help.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Oh. Absolutely, And I know that the world is a
very cynical place and the rolling of eyes when it
comes to people in prison, but they're not over, their
interaction with humanity will be different, and rightly so, there
are people that absolutely positively should be locked up. And
(23:04):
in the case of your son, we don't have all
the information here. So my outline to you was to
know that it's not necessarily a bad thing. And as
a parent, I know it's difficult when a child of
any age calls out, even a child who's in prison
calls out to you in need or in pain. But
remember that you watched this child grow up and you
(23:26):
watch them go through the pain of learning how to
walk or going to school, or learning how to read,
or any of these things, and the process of understanding
your own space and understanding how to interact with others
or be alone. Being alone is a gift. It really
(23:47):
really is a gift. If you can learn to be
alone with yourself, you can learn to enjoy yourself, if
you can learn to take those moments of alone time
and use them productively to get to know yourself better,
or to be so introspective that you're correcting those things
that might be annoying or problematic, whatever it is. If
you take that time, that alone time, and you use
(24:09):
it like that, you will be the most attractive human
being to other people. Trust me. People look for relationships
and reach out and desire to not be lonely in
quotes because they want that distraction from their own self.
And it doesn't mean that relationships are bad, oh goodness, No,
the relationships are wonderful. The entire the entirety of Scripture
(24:32):
is about relationships between man and man, and man and
woman and woman and woman, and humanity in general, and
humanity with God. So relationships are wonderful. However, they start
with an understanding of who you are. It's not about
putting two halves together to make a whole. It's putting
(24:53):
two holes together to make something greater, this tertiary property,
this third thing that comes together when these two are
joined in any way, shape or four, and as friends,
as business partners, as spouses. And unless you understand how
to be whole by yourself, you will never be a
(25:13):
good partner. You'll be used. Other people will use you
as a distraction in their life. Other people will use
you in different ways. You'll even use them. But you'll
never have that true, that wonderful relationship, that balance, unless
your whole and being a whole comes from spending time alone,
not lonely, but alone. You know, time goes by so
(25:38):
quickly around here. I wanted to finish up just a
real quick thought dealing with loneliness. In the New Testament,
the word for lonely only occurs twice, and it's never
used to describe people. It's used to describe desolate places.
And I thought that that's very important understanding of that
(26:03):
concept of loneliness because we hear about it on the
program so often. Lonely and what does God have planned
for me? I'm so lonely and you don't understand. Especially
during the holidays, my goodness, during the holidays, it gets
even more compacted and more intense because people feel the pressure,
the outside pressure of the need to be home for
(26:25):
the holidays or have that connection. Look, you turn on
the TV and whatever those channels are that my producer
Neil watches constantly over the holiday season. But you see
all those those shows are about the relationships, oh the
holiday times. You know, we're bringing these relationships together. But loneliness,
(26:48):
the experience of loneliness, happens at any time, not just
over the holidays. But the power of that thought that
the word lonely never used in the New Testament to
describe people. You have Mark one forty five and Luke
five sixteen that are talking about the they're talking about
(27:10):
the wilderness, like a desolate location. And so that that
points to the importance of spending time with yourself and
knowing and that's not always loneliness. It doesn't mean that
there isn't times of loneliness, real genuine loneliness, but finding
yourself and empowering yourself to not be caught up in
(27:31):
those things, to to really enjoy who you are and
who God made you individually. That's just the best way
to move forward and to have better relationships in life.
And there are extreme cases where you know, people are
in prison, that's a different type of lonely experience, but
(27:57):
in most situations, it's about not being in a good
place of comfort with your own self, knowing who you
are and understanding who you are and being okay with that.
The world is a weird place to begin with, and
the world wants to make you feel bad about yourself
and good about yourself. They want to raise you up
(28:18):
and they want to knock you down. And we talked
a little bit about that last week. But there's that
kind of weird attitude where people want to pick on
you know, people that are bullied, or people that pick
on you, or people that are always constantly nitpicking about
who you are and what you do. That's a deflection.
They don't want to think about themselves. They don't want
(28:39):
to worry about the things that they need to change,
and really that's a type of person that's not comfortable
with themselves. And what I want you to be is
to be whole, to be comfortable, and then that will
get rid of loneliness. Thank you for joining me this Sunday.
I hope you joined me every Sunday. And remember these
(29:00):
words above all else. I am with you always. Kf
I A M six forty on demand
Speaker 5 (29:11):
H
You're listening to KFI AM six forty on demand. Ken,
Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
How about James.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
You think I'm good? Ken? How are you?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
I'm doing very well. I had a question for you.
I'm single and I want to be married, and I
don't like dating. I don't I would rather The question is,
can I pray that God would lead a specific girl
to me or me to a specific girl, being that
(00:33):
he being that you know everything, and you know what's
around the corner and down the road, and it would
be very important to me that it would be someone
that would be very helpful. Sure, the soul.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Mate, the right mate, Well, a few things to look at.
Is one. There's nowhere in scripture that says there's one
person for you until you marry them. Once you marry,
that should be the person. So it's not about you know,
having a soulmate s o U l mate. It's about
(01:11):
having a soul mate, just one. So that's the important part. Now,
sometimes people get caught up in looking for the perfect
person so intensely that they miss all the wonderful, imperfect
people just like themselves that are available. So you do
(01:33):
a little checklist with yourself and you say, because being
single and being available are two different things. You can
be single and not have someone in your life and
still not be emotionally at that place or intellectually at
that place where you're ready to have that relationship. If
you check all those things off and you say, okay,
I'm ready to go, then you get. Then you move
(01:54):
forward in prayer so that God will help you with discernment.
Not about you know, just lead me to this person.
You're a part, You're a participant in this. That's like
you know, sitting in front of your broken down car
and say, God, fix this. No, you know, guide my hand,
give me the intellect, the ability, the will, the desire
(02:16):
to learn and to make the best decision I can
and to live with the consequences should I not. Those
are the things that you want, is that you God's
given you the tools. When you're a child and you're
being raised, your parents really is given you tools. A
bad parent is the one that does everything for you
that's not helping you because sooner or later they're not
(02:36):
going to be around. So God wants to give you
these tools on how to decide who's good for you,
and it's not just outwardly appearance. How to decide who's
going to be a healthy partner and what things is it?
Does that mean it's somebody that believes everything you do. No,
there's going to be people. You're gonna have differences, maybe
in politics or different you know, tastes in food or
(02:57):
music or what have you. All that's okay, and then
you're gonna have similarities things that you want to to,
you know, share with one another. A good place to
find somebody should you be looking, is in places that
you like to go yourself. You know, people go to
bars and things like that to meet someone, and it's
(03:18):
what are you gonna meet there? You're gonna meet someone
in a bar rather than if you like to read
and you're in a library or a bookstore or something
like that. You're you're more likely to meet somebody of
like mind or even church. These types of things are
you know, if they're a part of who you are,
then they're probably going to be a part of who
they are. Praying is a wonderful thing when it comes
(03:40):
to looking for a mate. Ken just don't get into
that pattern of kind of waiting for God to bring
them to your doorstep, because It's not about a special delivery.
It's about, you know, being confident and knowing what you
want and not settling by way of.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
You know.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
I see people that they get in the same bad
relationships over and over again just because the man or
woman is blonde hair and blue eyed. Well, that's what
I like, that's what I and so they get lost
in that rather than the character of the individual. And
and and looking at the outward outward appearance is going
to be what probably draws you in first. And these
(04:23):
are general tools that God's already given you. It's about
using them, not about necessarily God bringing them to your door.
How long have you been single? Ken?
Speaker 2 (04:33):
For years?
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Three years, yes, sir. And the last relationship how long
was it the lower fifteen years? And was it a marriage?
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Okay, so three years out of a fifteen year marriage.
Why do you think now is the.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Time that I certainly do not imply being single? Okay,
I don't want to be married to be married, but
I want someone special in my life and I.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
You.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Unfortunately the marriage didn't work out.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Why didn't Why didn't it work out?
Speaker 2 (05:15):
She fell in love with someone to help us and.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
She left you?
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (05:21):
And that's a rough one, isn't it. Yeah, that was tough,
and uh, you a little gun shy this time around.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
I guess it would be a good way to describe it.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Just remember people are individuals, Ken, and not you know,
every woman's the same and not every man's the same.
And and don't put the sins of yor ex wife
on someone new, because that's a hard You know a
lot of times guys will come out of a relationship
like that and learning to trust becomes difficult. And uh,
(06:02):
and you can't put that on the new people in
your life. You kind of have to trust them and
let them fall or stand as they may. But you
you know what you what you're looking for. What was
it about your ex wife that attracted you to her?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
She she wasn't necessarily Actually, my ex father in law
also wanted to introduce us Vietnam me for about eight
years before I ever met her, and so we introduced
and we started dating and she seemed like a wonderful person.
She is a wonderful person. But yeah, she she was
(06:43):
attractive and well educated.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
And what do you think went wrong then? Ken?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
I guess maybe over a course of time we.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Grew apart yeah, but that's I don't really accept that.
So that's not how people work. People grow. Life is
constantly going back and forth, and you're growing. People say
growing apart, but really that's that's laziness, that's just people
not wanting to participate in the marriage anymore. So what
is it that did you lose focus and start putting
(07:23):
your attention somewhere else? Or obviously she did, but what
was it? If she's a good person, you're a good person.
There's no reason why the two of you can't be together.
And something along the lines there somebody stopped paying attention
to someone else or stopped paying attention to themselves. There's
(07:43):
nothing worse than watching a loved one let themselves go,
whether it's physically, emotionally, or intellectually. They don't read, they
don't experience things, they don't care that really can you know,
lead to problems in the marriage too. But something happened
along the line, Ken, And I asked you because I
(08:04):
don't want you to bring it into the next relationship,
because you play a part in it. You you understand that, right, yes? Okay?
Speaker 2 (08:12):
In the in the works of my sister in law
who called me afterwards and talked to me. She said that,
you know, I want you to know that this is
not the first time that you know, what she described
was nine years previous. You know, she had been seeing
someone else saying as well, and she said that, you
(08:37):
know when she talked to my wife, that she had
told her years back that you know, I'm just not
in love with him, and yeah, I wish I had
not gotten married to him, and so, yeah, love.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Is a strange thing. People expect to stay in that
feeling of love and no one does. I mean, it's
a process. It's something you you work into and if
you don't work at it, it's like anything else, it
will atrophy. But I think people use that as an
excuse to kind of do what they want. Most importantly,
(09:13):
can be introspective, look at where you played a part
in that breakup, and don't bring that into the next relationship.
But if you really are seeking somebody and seek the
will of God, and you know, when you're going just
after your own lust or after what you want, let
things grow naturally and healthily and they become more stable.
(09:36):
And make sure that the soil is good, and that
means that you yourself are healthy and in a good place,
and you enjoy your own company, and then that you
are well versed in who you are before you go
bringing someone else into that equation. Dave, Welcome to Jesus Christia.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
A little thank you for taking my call.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
I appreciate it, my pleasure.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
My question is is I was invited to attend a
church by a friend, a coworker, and I did some
inquiry on the church, and their policy is that if
you are a divorced person, which I am, and it
doesn't matter why you're divorced, whether you know your spouse
had cheated or whether it was for some of them,
(10:22):
you may attend services and church functions, but you are
not able or allowed by their policy to hold membership.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
And to hold a position in leadership. Your phone broke up.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Yeah, you're not.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
Allowed to hold Actually you're not allowed to hold any
type of church membership at all, leadership or not. You're
just allowed to attend.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Oh oh that's different.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Okay, So I wanted to know your thoughts on that.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Well, there's you know, that's that's at the discretion of
that particular church. If they perceive things that way. I
will say this, it makes for kind of a strange situation.
What if if you were to have been divorced and
remarried that same person.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
You know what, I.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Didn't ask that, but I did ask about what if
you were divorced prior to being saved?
Speaker 1 (11:16):
And what was their response?
Speaker 3 (11:19):
His response was, it doesn't matter why you're divorced. And
in addition to that, it was, even if you're a
church member and for some reason or another you do
get divorced, you still may attend to church, but you
are no longer a member.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Yeah, it sounds a little harsh to me personally looking
at the fact that Jeremiah three talks about God divorcing Israel.
So now you have God committing a sin in their eyes,
and that would be a problem because divorce is one
of those things that God hates. But it's it's bigger
(11:57):
than just the word or just the act. It's the
the attitude of a disposable marriage is what's what angers God.
And I think sometimes gets people get so hyper focused
on the word and the concept that they that they
amplify that to a point where that becomes the big deal.
(12:18):
And in this particular case, now I've heard rightly so
that many people, many churches don't want anybody in leadership
to have been divorced. Usually that's that's under their understanding
of Christianity. If they're not Christians, it's technically not a
sin in the church because they don't believe in the church.
(12:42):
That's not to say that you don't sin as a
non Christian, of course you do, but it's it's the
scripture talks about why would you judge them by the
standard of Christianity If they're not Christians, you shouldn't expect
the world to act anything different than the world because
that's who they are. So I find it strange and
(13:03):
they're not really here to explain themselves. I would say
that that sounds like a church by the description you're giving,
that maybe is not the right one for you.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
Okay, well, thank you very much taking my call. I
really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
You're welcome, Dave, and churches do have their own insight
in their own ways, and it is their church, but
it doesn't mean you have to participate in it. Chris,
welcome to the Jesus Christow.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
I've been a follower and disciple for the last thirty
years of you, and I have some confusion and sometimes
frustration on how to pray to the Holy Spirit.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
What do I say?
Speaker 4 (13:46):
What do I call them disease?
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Well, what what do you mean specifically praying to the
Holy Spirit?
Speaker 4 (13:52):
Sometimes I just feel weird because I pray to my
Papa and I pray to you, and then when it
comes to the Holy Spirit, it feels weird sometimes to
say Holy Spirit or or Spirit. It's almost like it's
a way out there type of prayer.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Oh, I see, because you're not. It's it's because I
came in the physical form. You get that. And even
the concept of Father, although you don't see him, you
get that. And then the Spirit seems well, in scripture,
it's a dove and I'm going to pray to a dove.
It doesn't make sense. I understand that. You the concept, Yeah,
it gets it's a little ethereal and kind of hard
(14:31):
to to place. But in scripture you find that Matthew
six talks about praying to the heavenly Father, and and
John fourteen talks about praying in the name of Jesus Christ.
And then there's scriptures that will say pray, pray to
the Spirit. But keep in mind that in throughout scripture
(14:54):
when it talks about the Spirit the Spirit really is
who's moving you to begin with those moments. It even
says that the Spirit is praying with you, is interceding
with you when you're in prayer to begin with. So
that quite frankly, a lot of the emotional or that
physical reaction you have to a scripture or to being
(15:18):
in a church service, hearing worship or doing some of
those motivations that make you even desire to pray are
coming from the Spirit to begin with. So you really
are more intimate and understanding of the Spirit than one
may think because you're interacting with the Spirit on a
daily basis. If you imagine the Spirit is who brings
(15:39):
you to me, to motivates you, motivates you to open
your heart to me, and I bring you to the Father.
So in that relationship, when you're praying to the Spirit,
there's no difference. If it helps you to see a
physical shape or to understand that way, then so be it.
But don't think that it's The term spirit just sounds
so out there and so non tangible that it seems
(16:07):
like it gets in the way, but it really shouldn't.
It's about taking the time to pray and to focus
yourself on the things of God. And really, I'll invite
you to do this next time you pray Chris As
Scripture says, there's different ways to pray with others by yourself.
Sometimes it refers to a prayer closet of going away
(16:29):
and kind of locking yourself away. If you remember in Scripture,
there was even times where I wanted others to sit
and pray with me, and then there's times where I
just went and prayed by myself. And I want you
to take some time and go in maybe a little
more of a formal setting. And this doesn't have to
be all the time, but just for this moment and
(16:50):
go somewhere where no one else is and get in
a position that's comfortable for you and clear your mind
and clear yourself of the worries of the day and
just receive and just feel the presence of God and
start to pray. And in that time and that opportunity,
you'll be open to the interaction of God and what
(17:14):
God has and feel the spirit, feel the spirit of
God come upon you when you're starting to pray. John,
Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show.
Speaker 5 (17:25):
Oh Jesus call you today.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
I am well John, and you good excellent.
Speaker 5 (17:32):
I have a question for you, and just a little background.
My son, my youngest son, is in prison, and the
last time I visited him, we were talking and one
of the things he said to me was that he
is lonely every day.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
And prison will do that.
Speaker 5 (17:56):
What to say? And I'm thinking you might have some
good suggestions, because I'm sure the answer lies in your word,
and I would like to know what those words are.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Well, he says that, And may I ask what he's
in for.
Speaker 5 (18:17):
It's uh, he was charged with a sex crime, but
I feel he's in there for extremely bad decisions and
lack of common sense because he was given many opportunities
to avoid confinement. It's bad, Okay.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Well, there's there's a purpose to loneliness sometimes, and in
prison you can fight that loneliness. But that seems to
be part of the problem that he that got him
there in the first place was not understanding loneliness or
not understanding proper relationships to begin with. When you say
(19:04):
that plays a part, okay, So there's a lot to
be learned here just on the face of things that
taking this time or having that alone time, there's different
levels of loneliness. There's this the most simplistic level of
loneliness is the absence of another human being or the
absence of that kind of communion or companionship. Okay, and
(19:28):
that that could be just someone not there. You're by yourself,
But being by yourself isn't always being lonely, correct, correct? Okay,
So there's different levels of loneliness. In this particular case,
I think that that your son's dealing with a lot
of issues of not knowing how to be with himself,
for one. And in the case of his particular situation,
(19:52):
we don't know the details and no need to get
into the details. I ask you those things about you know,
a little sketch of ways in there, because that often
points to other things that are going on in his life. Well.
Decision making skills are poor, it seems, and also execution
of emotions or certain feelings. And so now as he
(20:15):
sits lonely in a jail cell, which is not a
bad thing, by the way, he needs to start learning
those things and understanding as to why he doesn't want
to be with himself. So, with that being said, when
it comes to scripture and faith, religion and sharing those things,
(20:38):
you can only pass along what you do yourself and say,
you know, it hurts me to hear that you were
lonely or that you have that deep loneliness when you're here.
And I can only tell you you know that that's
not going to change. There's nothing that's going to pull
you out of this this jail cell. You have your
(21:01):
sentence and you will be here for the remainder. But
I can tell you what works for me, and when
you read scripture or when you pray, or when you
spend time with God, that the walls don't matter, the
roof doesn't matter, that the room doesn't matter, Whether you're
with somebody or not with someone doesn't matter, because you're
(21:22):
with God and you share those things and you give
him the tools, and what he does with the tools
is up to him himself. But there are Bibles everywhere
in prison, and it's a matter of using them. And
he looks, from what you've told me, tends to look
for an easy way to deal with things rather than
(21:45):
the best way. And in this particular case, he's not
going anywhere, and he's confronted. He's forced to look at himself,
the ugly things he's done, the mistakes that he's made,
and that's probably not comfortable. There's no distraction, because that's
another form of loneliness, John, that people look for distraction.
They're not lonely, they're bored. They don't they don't want
(22:07):
to think about themselves. They don't want to think about
ways to change themselves, ways to grow, they don't want
to be introspective. So they're looking for distractions. And that
comes in the form of another person. Can come in
the form of video games, it can come in form
of a book, it could come in form of a
lot of things. But really he doesn't want to be
confronted with himself every single day. It sounds like, I.
Speaker 5 (22:31):
Thank you so much for these words, and I will
try to put them together and send those to them
and pray with me that it will help.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Oh. Absolutely, And I know that the world is a
very cynical place and the rolling of eyes when it
comes to people in prison, but they're not over, their
interaction with humanity will be different, and rightly so, there
are people that absolutely positively should be locked up. And
(23:04):
in the case of your son, we don't have all
the information here. So my outline to you was to
know that it's not necessarily a bad thing. And as
a parent, I know it's difficult when a child of
any age calls out, even a child who's in prison
calls out to you in need or in pain. But
remember that you watched this child grow up and you
(23:26):
watch them go through the pain of learning how to
walk or going to school, or learning how to read,
or any of these things, and the process of understanding
your own space and understanding how to interact with others
or be alone. Being alone is a gift. It really
(23:47):
really is a gift. If you can learn to be
alone with yourself, you can learn to enjoy yourself, if
you can learn to take those moments of alone time
and use them productively to get to know yourself better,
or to be so introspective that you're correcting those things
that might be annoying or problematic, whatever it is. If
you take that time, that alone time, and you use
(24:09):
it like that, you will be the most attractive human
being to other people. Trust me. People look for relationships
and reach out and desire to not be lonely in
quotes because they want that distraction from their own self.
And it doesn't mean that relationships are bad, oh goodness, No,
the relationships are wonderful. The entire the entirety of Scripture
(24:32):
is about relationships between man and man, and man and
woman and woman and woman, and humanity in general, and
humanity with God. So relationships are wonderful. However, they start
with an understanding of who you are. It's not about
putting two halves together to make a whole. It's putting
(24:53):
two holes together to make something greater, this tertiary property,
this third thing that comes together when these two are
joined in any way, shape or four, and as friends,
as business partners, as spouses. And unless you understand how
to be whole by yourself, you will never be a
(25:13):
good partner. You'll be used. Other people will use you
as a distraction in their life. Other people will use
you in different ways. You'll even use them. But you'll
never have that true, that wonderful relationship, that balance, unless
your whole and being a whole comes from spending time alone,
not lonely, but alone. You know, time goes by so
(25:38):
quickly around here. I wanted to finish up just a
real quick thought dealing with loneliness. In the New Testament,
the word for lonely only occurs twice, and it's never
used to describe people. It's used to describe desolate places.
And I thought that that's very important understanding of that
(26:03):
concept of loneliness because we hear about it on the
program so often. Lonely and what does God have planned
for me? I'm so lonely and you don't understand. Especially
during the holidays, my goodness, during the holidays, it gets
even more compacted and more intense because people feel the pressure,
the outside pressure of the need to be home for
(26:25):
the holidays or have that connection. Look, you turn on
the TV and whatever those channels are that my producer
Neil watches constantly over the holiday season. But you see
all those those shows are about the relationships, oh the
holiday times. You know, we're bringing these relationships together. But loneliness,
(26:48):
the experience of loneliness, happens at any time, not just
over the holidays. But the power of that thought that
the word lonely never used in the New Testament to
describe people. You have Mark one forty five and Luke
five sixteen that are talking about the they're talking about
(27:10):
the wilderness, like a desolate location. And so that that
points to the importance of spending time with yourself and
knowing and that's not always loneliness. It doesn't mean that
there isn't times of loneliness, real genuine loneliness, but finding
yourself and empowering yourself to not be caught up in
(27:31):
those things, to to really enjoy who you are and
who God made you individually. That's just the best way
to move forward and to have better relationships in life.
And there are extreme cases where you know, people are
in prison, that's a different type of lonely experience, but
(27:57):
in most situations, it's about not being in a good
place of comfort with your own self, knowing who you
are and understanding who you are and being okay with that.
The world is a weird place to begin with, and
the world wants to make you feel bad about yourself
and good about yourself. They want to raise you up
(28:18):
and they want to knock you down. And we talked
a little bit about that last week. But there's that
kind of weird attitude where people want to pick on
you know, people that are bullied, or people that pick
on you, or people that are always constantly nitpicking about
who you are and what you do. That's a deflection.
They don't want to think about themselves. They don't want
(28:39):
to worry about the things that they need to change,
and really that's a type of person that's not comfortable
with themselves. And what I want you to be is
to be whole, to be comfortable, and then that will
get rid of loneliness. Thank you for joining me this Sunday.
I hope you joined me every Sunday. And remember these
(29:00):
words above all else. I am with you always. Kf
I A M six forty on demand
Speaker 5 (29:11):
H
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Monster: BTK
'Monster: BTK', the newest installment in the 'Monster' franchise, reveals the true story of the Wichita, Kansas serial killer who murdered at least 10 people between 1974 and 1991. Known by the moniker, BTK – Bind Torture Kill, his notoriety was bolstered by the taunting letters he sent to police, and the chilling phone calls he made to media outlets. BTK's identity was finally revealed in 2005 to the shock of his family, his community, and the world. He was the serial killer next door. From Tenderfoot TV & iHeartPodcasts, this is 'Monster: BTK'.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations.