Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Nine news nuggets you need to know.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
And these are the stories that clearly fell through the
cracks because World War II was just about to break out.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Here's our honorable mention. Honorable mention not supposed.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
To mention them, not to mention the honor serving with you.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Didn't great and honorable modes.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
So today we're holding auditions to become the newest member
of honorable Mention.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
I noticed this trend at my latest nephew, who graduated
high schools. Graduation, no clapping, hold your applause until all
the names are announced. So it's going to take two
damn long.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Now.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Logan went to a high school where his graduating class
was a couple hundred people. It was a big class,
three hundred people something like that was crazy, right, So
you can imagine why you want to hold the applause
because there's so many names being called. It would take
all freaking day if you had to wait for all
the applause. But here this was a kinder garden class
(01:00):
where the same rule applied, no applause. The weird thing
is is there were like seventeen kids in the graduating class.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
They could do one singular clap per graduate.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
One person decided this feels like a cult.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Rationing claps is insanity. They've even got inflation on clapping now.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
They said. And the event a child doesn't have a parent, guardian,
or caretaker in the audience, the one clap rule prevents
feelings of jealousy, emotional rejection, or neglect among kids. Here's
the thing. If you're at a kindergarten graduation and Bobby
McGee's name is called and there's no clapping, everyone's gonna
(01:46):
start clapping for Bobby McGhee. It's a very timely name.
I realize that, but you know what I mean. You
know what I mean. Who would let it go without
applause a kid's name being your kid's kindergarten graduation and
your kid's name is called, new clap and then Bobby's
name is called, no one club you start clapping. Everyone would.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Yes, we'd noticed that.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
When our kids graduated high school, it was a large
enough graduating class. They did it in a football stadium, right,
I think that's pretty common. And there were people they
said the same thing. Hold your applause until the end
so that everybody can feel great. We can celebrate all
the graduates together. And then people screamed when their kid's
(02:27):
name was called, like an entire family of fifteen people.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
That's so annoying.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
But they weren't clapping. They at least followed the rules.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Number nine.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
At number nine, I did ninth place.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
If a CoP's dirty nine times out of tennis partners
dirty two and I.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Speak nine languages actually night basically everybody at table learning,
I'd feel ready to go another nine? And niner?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Did I get you a niner? In there where you're
calling from Milwaukie talkie? There is a restaurant in a
Royo Grande. I think it is because I'm whitening up
the name, because that's what we do here in California,
where if you are not careful, the seagulls will eat
(03:10):
your food.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Oh sorry, it was more obay. That's where it was
more obey.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
The seagulls, if you sit outside, will eat your food.
If you turn your back for a half a second,
they'll pull French fries or scrambled eggs or hash browns
or anything off of your eat.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
That's what the seagulls do at all the beach towns,
right even the beaches up up in the UK. A
gull has taken revenge on a man who was installing
anti bird spikes by drinking the man's coffee and stealing
his mug.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
The maintenance worker had been bird proofing some houses when
he stopped at a pub for a coffee. Said he'd
been talking to someone before he turned around to find
the seagull helping himself to the coffee.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
I didn't know that they would drink the coffee.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
But before he can chew the bird away, the bird
grabbed the mug by its little handle and flew away.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
That's what you get for ordering coffee at a pub.
Number eight.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
A child is bold every eight second listening to eight
different bosses drawn on about mission statements.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Here, we've heard about people drinking tea and other hot
drinks in wildly hot temperature places to ward off the heat.
There's a weird thing that goes with your body where
if you drink a hot temperature drink while it's like
one hundred and ten outside, it actually cools down your
(04:45):
body to handle the heat better. As counterproductive as that sounds,
it is quite productive. Now Brits are being advised to
drink plenty of fluids in order to avide avoid dehydration.
During this heat wave. But a doctor has claimed there's
a better option for tea than tea. I should say milk.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
I disagree.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
It may be more hydrating than water, according to the
medical director at Metachecks.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
The doctor explains that because of the sugar, the protein
and the fat content in milk, it actually slows the
rate at which the fluid empties from the stomach. So
the glass of milk would help you stay hydrated, or
at least feeling hydrated over a longer period.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
You, with all your medical background disagree. Is that what
you said?
Speaker 2 (05:35):
I think it sounds awful. Well, and I'll say that slowly. Yeah,
it sounds they'd taste good or it's pleasurable. They just
said it helps your body not dehydrate.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
I guess there's number seven, the seventh son of the
seventh son.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
We're on a seven days, a seven years of college
stone seven seven?
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Where was Where was justin Timberlake when he got pop
for drunk driving?
Speaker 3 (06:09):
I think you're right. I think it was Cape Cod.
It it sounds about right. Cape Cod is where the
rich go to play in the summer of the East Coast,
and Cape Cod is going to start testing its sewage
for cocaine and other drugs to find out when and
how often resins are getting high. This sounds like a
(06:30):
breach in privacy rights, doesn't it. Well, yes, except how
much cocaine is in in the cape plenty.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Well, they're looking specifically in the sewage for it, right,
I mean, because that's your body expels all that stuff.
But a Biobot is a company that specializes in wastewater epidemiology,
and we'll start testing the surf side wastewater treatment facility
for drugs fentanyl, opiates, meth nicotine, all later this month.
They said, the goal is to help with recovery outreach.
(07:04):
I'm not sure that people in the Hamptons are going
to be receptive to that number six.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
I got six, you got six, she got six. Number six.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
There's six more weeks of later picture of me or
Rabbi and six drunk and long term and.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
We just dig you in a nursing home closer to us.
I don't have to go down drink another six pack.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Well, an airline crew will be put up in an
airport hotel. If you can't find an airport hotel, maybe
something in the vicinity. And sometimes it doesn't always go
by the book. Shall we say a British Airways crew
was supposed to or was forced to, spend a layover
night in an Italian hotel that happened to be a
(07:45):
sex hotel.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
I didn't know there was such a thing.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
You didn't know about sex hotels.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
I know that people have sex in hotels. I didn't
know that there was a hotel that you book specifically
for that. The olverail moom m o o m go on.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
The older you, I get grossed out more by hotel rooms,
older I get, the more you still thinking when you
were twenty you would sleep on the floor of.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
A hotel, of course I would. Now you'll barely sleep
on the bed.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
Exactly exactly right.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
They said that this hotel offers a variety of themed suites,
including a BDSM dungeon style room, complete with a caged
bed and a standing cross with wrist cuffs.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Do they provide a person for you to play around with?
I don't know, because what good is a room with
a cage if you don't have someone to put in
the cage? Right? I always say my rule of life
never five.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Number? What whatnot?
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Five five? I have?
Speaker 1 (08:56):
This is the year five point five five? Would be
a favorite, lose five pounds immediately.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
I think they just have a great sense of humor
over in the UK because so many of these nugget
stories come out of there. A guy who is considered
to be a lollipop man has been told he can
no longer give high fives to kids as they crossed
the road. Fifty seven year old guy guy named Neil Cotton,
helps primary and secondary kids in East Yorkshire, claims he's
(09:24):
been told to stop high fiving the kids because it
upsets drivers who have to wait another ten seconds.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
We had a guy like this when I was in
high school who lived near the high school and would
hand out lollipops and candy. Wonderful man. He would also
go to girls' basketball games all the time and was
total enthusiast for girls basketball. And I remember being about
fourteen fifteen, and I was the only one who thought.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
A little weird. He's now a little weird, he's now
doing fifteen.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
No, he's like this beloved community guy that had kids himself,
like the nicest guy. And I'm the one cynical proof
person in the entire town where I'm like, there's not
wrong with this, right, there's some little. I was a
John and Ken listener before I even knew it. You know,
think of the worst of people, people that wanted to
be with the children, just wondering.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
You just wanted to watch.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
The girls runner guy, and I was such a cynical
little a hole.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Here's number four or minute.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
It's probably on his fourth tranquilizer by now.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Comment number four. This isn't the same world you left.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Four years ago, a singer who died just a few
hours after undergoing plastic surgery went on a boozy night
out with the doctor before getting surgery. Anna Barbara Berberderini
one way to get a discount right, went into cardiac
arrest and died in a hospital in Turkey after getting
the breast augmentation, the liposuction, and a nose job all
(10:46):
at once.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
M what kind of uh well, what did the night entail?
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Just a lot of drinking.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
If you're drinking a lot or and or drugs, does
that affect your anesthesia the next day?
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Oh, I'm sure, And this is pre work.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
She'd already had a lot of work done, so she's
going back in for some tune ups.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
She looks natural there, Hi, Number three, three shall be.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
The number count and the number of the counting shall
be three. Fight were dead within three hours.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Three security clearance level.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Three, all three of the three. I got all three
of you guys for the rest of your naturally born live.
After about three days, they both start to stink.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
I saw this earlier this week, and I'm not sure
where it's coming from, but Ozzy Osbourne is going to
be selling his DNA in liquid Death cans.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
Does that guy have any left? You have any DNA left?
Speaker 2 (11:39):
They said, the special because they will contain traces of
Ozzy Osbourne's actual DNA. Liquid Death is a water company, right,
It doesn't sound like it, but it's a water company.
Ten cans of the low calorie iced tea that Osbourne
drank and then crushed himself. In the process, he left
behind trace DNA from his saliva that you can now
(12:01):
own and even hand sign.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Each packaging label.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
Saw this funny uh meme. It was somebody who said, oh,
I had a snack before bed last night, and it
really messed up my my glucose levels as evidenced by
by Aura Rang And somebody quoted it and said, Ozzy
Osbourne drank two bottles of vodka for thirty years before
performing every other night.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
You're gonna be fine, You'll be okay. Here's number two.
What's going on?
Speaker 3 (12:25):
You? Two is one to two the two people and
there's two sons and no women who ringing ying?
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Okay, wait to send this to my daughter.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
In Texas, weeks of heavy rains have plagued have prompted
a plague of huge, toxic hammer head flatworms to come
out of the ground in North Texas. These things are
multiple feet long in many cases. They were brought to
the US from Southeast Asia in the late eighteen hundreds
and show up everywhere from the Pacific Northwest to New
(12:57):
York and New York and most recently in North Town.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Called demonic flesh eaters. Welcome, Welcome, weird.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Number number one. We're number one, Ben, I decided to
look out for number one.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Are you the number one?
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Row?
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Number one?
Speaker 3 (13:13):
Number one, number one?
Speaker 1 (13:14):
All these rugby players?
Speaker 3 (13:16):
You ever turn on morning TV and see a penis
right there on your screen?
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Yes, I have.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Have you more reflected in the screen than it is
on the screen, if that's what you're asking. But national
Rugby League player made good on his promise to do
a nude run if if his new South Wales team lost.
The things took a turn when he turned around to
the camera and they got to see his little rugby
(13:41):
player