Ask Christopher West

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Questions answered this episode:

1. How do you put into words what a soul is, especially when explaining it to a child in light of theology of the body—that our bodies and souls are both important and are meant to be together in heaven one day?
2. I struggle with premature ejaculation and, despite years of sincere effort in marriage, haven’t found a real solution. I want to be a true gift to my...

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Questions answered this episode:

1. I am a single man in my twenties and have committed to reserving sex for marriage. People often try to dissuade me by bringing up “sexual compatibility,” telling stories of couples who waited and later divorced because they weren’t compatible in the marriage bed. I struggle to respond since I can’t speak from experience about what sexual compatibility or goo...

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–

Questions answered this episode:

1. I have been a consecrated man for 40 years. Through theology of the body, I came to understand that my masculinity was not denied by my vow of chastity, but lived in another way. I learned to integrate natural bodily movements and the struggle for purity into my path of sanctification. Recently, due to age, these experiences have largely disappeared. I fe...

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–

Questions answered this episode:

1. About 10 years ago, my husband and I rushed into a vasectomy after my third child in 3.5 years and intense anxiety/depression. I wasn’t in favor, but agreed thinking he’d reverse it if we wanted more kids—then I learned he never intended to. For eight years I felt despair and our union felt unrepairable. In recent years, Christ has healed me, and discovering ...

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–

Questions answered this episode:

1. Recently I had mole excision surgery that led me into some unexpected reflection through a TOB lens. I was awake with only local anesthesia and watched the doctor use a scalpel to cut into my skin. Seeing the blood flow out made me lightheaded and nauseous, and I wondered why many people feel queasy at the sight of blood. In TOB terms, is this like “your ...

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–

Questions answered this episode:

1. I’m experiencing my third very early miscarriage, and I’m having a lot of difficult feelings because the loss is so early. I never saw a doctor to confirm pregnancy—just a few days of faint positive tests that never got darker and eventually turned negative—and I’m dreading the coming bloodshed. I’m struggling with feeling like I shouldn’t grieve; I know ...

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–

1. My wife and I have been married almost 1.5 years and we just had our first daughter 2.5 months ago. One challenge we’re struggling to discern is that my younger brother is transitioning from male to female and calling himself “Auntie” in front of my daughter. I love my brother dearly, and this has been a long journey tied to brokenness I and others caused when he was younger. We want to...

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–

Questions answered this episode:

1. St. John Paul talks about woman being master of her own mystery—how a man must stand at the door and knock, then wait for her to open, even in marriage, respecting her right to reject his advances to the marital embrace. In light of this, how do we understand 1 Corinthians 7:4–5 (“the wife does not rule over her own body… Do not refuse one another except...

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–

Questions answered this episode:

1. I am a theology teacher of high school students at a Catholic school. How do I joyfully proclaim Theology of the Body—or any Church teaching—when my students look like the walking dead? A coworker calls them spiritually dead. They don’t seem to care and they fall asleep in class. Satan has used all of that to make me question whether I’m in the right care...

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–

Questions answered this episode:

1. There are many stories of Catholic men who experience same-sex attraction and go on to marry and have families, even though their predominant attraction remains toward men. Many encourage others not to dismiss marriage before exploring whether God could be calling them to it. I’m honestly confused. Would it be right for me to pursue a relationship with a ...

Questions answered this episode:

1. I love marriage and my wife, but we’re facing our biggest challenge: understanding sex and its rightful place. We stayed chaste before marriage; I was a virgin and she’d been abstinent for years. I desire union daily, and while she enjoys our intimacy, she doesn’t need it as often, though she still wants affection. We’re trying to discern how often sex should happen within God’s plan. She fears b...

Questions answered this episode:

1. I’d like your opinion on popular songs that celebrate the pleasures of sexual union, like that Marvin Gaye song. Can their meaning—or the passions they stir—be redeemed within marriage? It seems many of these songs aren’t good in most contexts, especially those that objectify people. But are some of them acceptable for married couples to listen to privately, if the lyrics don’t violate the person...

Questions answered this episode:

1. I’m a 24-year-old single woman who has never dated. I want to be married, but it’s a passive desire—I’m content and open if something comes my way. I don’t ache for marriage the way others do, and I don’t feel called to chase it. People tell me I’m wasting my twenties and question if I even want a family. I do want marriage, just no one has interested me yet. I don’t think God is asking me to hun...

Questions answered this episode:

1. Right now, I'm learning about cycles and fertility using the Creighton method. One main point is that the man is always fertile while the woman is infertile most of the time. I’m wondering if there’s a theology behind that—especially since the man typically initiates and is constantly fertile. What do you think is the significance of this?
2. I'm dating and love your podcast. I'm in a se...

Questions answered this episode:

1. I admire my Catholic family, but I struggle to receive advice from my parents. I’m academically gifted and study philosophy, theology, and psychology of relationships, while they don’t share my passion for ideas. When they give advice, I often think, “I’ve already considered that,” or, “There’s a deeper understanding.” I know their long marriage brings wisdom, but I don’t always appreciate it. Wh...

Questions answered this episode:

1. I’ve been married for almost 25 years. My husband has been verbally abusive and sexually misused me, though we’re now on a path of healing and reconciliation. Because of the deep wounds, I haven’t been able to have sex with him since our separation a year and a half ago. I’m slowly learning forgiveness, but his anger over the lack of sex makes it hard. He says things like, “No loving Christian wo...

Questions answered this episode:

• I don't think I have numbed myself or shut down my desires, but I think I may have never learned how to be in touch with them. I don't ever feel aroused or even really desirous of anything. I thought it was because I was blessed with purity, chastity, and temperance, but I'm wondering if I'm actually lacking something or disordered because I don't feel like there's anythin...

Questions answered this episode:

1. As I understand it, sacraments need the correct form and matter to be valid. What about marriage? I wonder if true marital sex is part of that form and matter, and if using contraception or not being open to life disrupts the grace that flows through the sacrament. In our marriage, we’ve experienced deep grace through healthy sexual intimacy and NFP, and I sense this grace comes not just from avo...

Questions answered this episode:

1. I’m growing close to a woman from my parish, and our relationship may become romantic. I need to disclose my long history of solitary sin and pornography use, which I no longer struggle with, but I’ve recently remembered past acts and fantasies. I’ve taken these to prayer and confession, but I worry she will reject me if I share. What level of detail is prudent to disclose? I struggle with scr...