July 19, 2023 • 49 mins
When Khadeen got in the gym and her body started to snap back after giving birth to her fourth child, everyone started asking if she got a BBL. But When Devale's Dad bod started to disappear, nobody asked him squat! Why is that? In this episode, the Ellises answer the question anyway. Dead ass.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
I did not get a BBL. What don't worry abody,
just go with it, dead ass.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Bruh.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Devout and we're the Ellis's.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
You may know us from posting funny videos with our boys.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
And reading each other publicly as a form of therapy.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Wait, I make you need therapy most days.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Wow. Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Yes, sir, we are. We created this podcast to open
dialogue about some of Li's most taboo topics.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Things most folks don't want to talk about.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass
is a term that we say every day. So when
we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred
the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Were about to take philos off to our whole new level.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Dead ass starts right now, all right, So you didn't
get a BBL.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
What No, I didn't get a BBM is.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
The word on the street, because you know that's.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Not the word on the street. But I had to
bring that out because I'm a little offended, okay, because
you would gain weight then you lost it, and everybody
was just like oh, I think Kadeen got to BBL.
She got to beat me down. I gain't wait, I
lost it. Ain't nobody say nothing. Ain't nobody said, oh
if I look good, he got a b BL.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Nobody sawers.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
No, ain't nobody giving me my flowers?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Was given a flowers.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
I'm tight. I'm tight.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
You should have did it before and after something I
should have.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
You know, that's the problem. I didn't. I didn't do
it before and after.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
You know what, you know, I had to post a
receipt to for what after? For Mother's Day. If you
go to my Mother's Day post, right, it's me, my grandmother,
my mom. The very last slide of that post is
your mom.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
I've seen it stacked.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
So if there was ever a question of where I
got it from, I am the epitome of she get
it from her mama, shout out to me.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
But anyway, back to your BBO.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Yeah, pops, my pops are stacked. So that's what I
got it.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
You don't want to be stacked like that?
Speaker 1 (02:06):
No, no, no, no. So this is the story's a
little serious, but it'll get a little funny funny after this. Right.
Twenty twenty one was the first year we moved here,
and yes, we went to go to the breakfast club. Yeah,
(02:27):
twenty twenty one, we went to go to breakfast club
for the first time. And I got a phone call
from my mom about my dad and she's like, no,
I got a call phone call from my brother. I
was like, Yo, your father's not not looking good. Give
your pops a call. So I called Scoop. He was
not looking good. He had lost a ton of weight.
He was like looked kind of like flush, like gray,
and he could barely talk. His mouth was dry, which
(02:48):
I already knew from doing exercise physiology and stuff that
a lot of the warning signs we look for with
clients who come in for training are signs of diabetes
pre diabetes. And I could tell by the way he
was talking in his Thursday he said he had to
go to the bathroom every like ten to fifteen minutes.
I said, that's and it's just a diabetic issue. So
I told my mom to go. I said, YO, take
(03:10):
dad to the hospital. And she was just like, I
take on my wings. They got a hospital appointment on
wins and said, Mom, if you don't take him to
the hospital to mom or fly home mom and take
him to the hospital. Myself.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
I remember that she was serious.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
I was dead serious.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
We were both going to be on the next thing,
smoking out of here yep.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
And she was like, find I'll take him to the hospital.
Chakes my mom to my dad to the hospital. Turns
out my dad's A one C was like it.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Was something ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
It was something ridiculous. It was like sixteen, which and
I think seven makes you diabetic. Yeah, but it was
high and also his uh that was his A one c.
But there was also his there was his sugar number
or something was so high that the machine couldn't even
register it. It was something crazy like that. And they
ended up admitting him to the hospital and they found
out that he was diabetic and he had to change
(03:56):
his diet. And the reason why I'm telling you other
stories because of this next part. When I flew to
New York and I went to speak to my dad
because I was upset at him because I always talk
about being in shapeitness and being there for your family
and being healthy. And I looked at my pops and
I was just like, yo, why you never told me
like you was feeling good and stuff like that, And
(04:17):
for the first time ever in my life. My father
leaned over and cried on me and said that he
thought he was gonna die. Wow, changed my life. This
karaoke song is dedicated to my family especially, and I'm
gonna say especially my wife especially. Yes, but it's not
(04:42):
gonna be for the reason that you think it is. Right.
So here's the song.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
Then running right now, A work to it.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Now, stop screaming and triples mike a bad trouble.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
We're gonna take a quick break and we're gonna come back,
and we're gonna discuss. While I was singing the rocky theme, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Yeah, for sure, that's sure as hell wouldn't be feeling
like up in this bitch after.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Aast the funk out.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Let's take a quick break.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
We'll be back, all right.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
So now we're back.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Yes, maybe nobody's appreciating you a little fatty you got
going on?
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Maybe?
Speaker 1 (05:48):
First of all, I don't got it fatty, all right, man,
No man wants a muscle, Yeah, I got.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
It back there because I don't particularly like a flat ass,
neither on the man. But I don't like a fat
ass either. You're asking be in competition with mine.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
My ass could never be in competition with yours. Ever
that thing back there, God, that's whoo one of my
favorite things, said Maya. I'm actually in the zone right
now thinking about it. If I can't sing you on Patreot,
I'm thinking about it right now. But no, I wanted
to talk about this because the reason why I sang
(06:24):
the Rocky theme is because when I look at the
shape syl Vester Stallone was in and Buddy that played
the Donna's creed, they that was like the most ripped
people I've ever seen in my life as a kid
growing up actual and I remember saying as like, as
a young person, like that's the epitome of manliness to
(06:46):
be like that ripped, that oiled up right, and it
was like running through this running through the beach in
the same.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
If Val had the opportunity to walk around shirtless every
day of his life, you would.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
I would.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
But there's some problems here. What's that problems? Is your family?
Speaker 2 (07:02):
My family?
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Yes, your family. I'm glad we're talking about this so
I can tell y'all how the sabotage happens in this house.
What I'd be on the treadmill, your pops, come tap
me on the shoulder. Let me buy you a drink.
I'm on the treadmill. He wants me to have a
drink with him. So the minute I get off the treadmill,
you know what he got in his hand a drink,
(07:24):
a drink, and you know, rum be adding stuff to
my stomach.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
That he'd be like, let me buy you a drink
from my bar.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
To buy me a drink, right, but it don't stop there.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
He'd be stocking it though.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
It don't stop there, stock it. When I come home
from my trips, Who'll be in the kitchen making oxtail,
lesign ya.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
All his favorites, your fish, stewl chicken.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Your moms be.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Be taking good care of you, your moms.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
She'd be like, what do you think the al will
want when he gets back home from filming?
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Because he was in Toronto.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
For six weeks.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
She rolled out all of it. She sent me to
go buy dog. Still to do all this feet for
your guy. She's just like, you gotta hold it down,
you know, whole my guy down.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
It's been away all this time, and and gett no
home cooked food, trying to have Jamaican food, but they
don't have home cooked foods.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
It's not like yes, so when I walk in the house,
I gotta deal with all this home cooked food all
the time, right, and I'm not complaining? What is?
Speaker 3 (08:24):
What is?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Then your pops want to buy me drinks with my
own alcohol after coming off the treadmill, right, still not complaining?
Then your kids? Your kids? Why am I missing it?
Your kids got all these snacks in the pantry, bro.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
It's a detriment to me too, though not just you,
because as much as I try to eat clean now,
it's just like snacks being there. Our little pantry mouse
aka Dakota always finds a way to want to be
just feeding me snacks.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Feeding Will you be feeding me snacks late at night?
I go in there take my hit from my blunt
because I want to sleep good at night. But the
Munchi's be calling me and them freaking rice Chrispy cheeks,
the rice crisp rice Krispy cheeks. That's I'm about to
start telling you rice Krispy cheeks, because that's why you
got all them cheeks back there, because you eat them
rice Krispy trees. Them. Shit's got a hold on me, yo.
(09:13):
It don't matter what night it is, it don't matter
what type of night it is. After I smoke, I'll
be chilling their mind in my business, trying to be disciplined.
And I hear them. I hear them in the pantry
going snap crackle pop, snap crackle pop, snapcragle pop, and
I just gotta go get one or two, like.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
The devil's on your shoulder.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
It is.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
It's bad.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
And the kids more recently, like Jackson came out one day,
was like, oh, Mom, can you get rice krispby trees?
Speaker 2 (09:35):
They hadn't been eating them.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
I don't know. You know, how do you go to
school when somebody has it? You're like, oh, I want
to try it. So I got a forty count box
and I was getting ready to blast the kids because
the forty count box that I had bought on like
a Tuesday. By Thursday was almost done. And I literally
went over there and I said, you know, I caught
myself because I'm like, I know I've seen de Vow
munching on it. I seen some rappers in the garbage
(09:57):
in our bedroom. I'm like, it couldn't have been the kids.
I said, before I fast on these kids, let me
ask the Vow if he did this did you you.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Almost eight half that box by yourself?
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Yep, they got a hold on me. I ain't gonna
lie because because I go into the pantry at night, right,
and I'll be like, I'm gonna just have one, right,
And then I see one and it'll be next to
another one, and I'll be like, I might as well
just have five pop, because if I'm gonna eat it,
I'm gonna eat it. Like I'm not gonna just taste it.
I'm gonna eat it. So then there you go, snap,
crackle pop. And now I didn't have five Rice Christy
(10:30):
Trees at one in the morning, but bruh. And then
my my lovely wife here, who does not believe in
my journey.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
At all, of course I do.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
You'll be watching Rain and Kanan and Raisin Raisin Kane.
I can't even talk. I'm so thinking about this fucking
Rice Christy Trees. We watching Raisin Kane, and she gonna
look over at me and she'd be like, you know
what I could use right now? A big mac, y'all.
So I'm like, wait a minute, wait a minute, you're gonna,
I said, I go where you gonna find a big mac?
In one in the morning, She pick up her phone
and go.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Guys, this is coming from two people who don't even
eat McDonald.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Don't eat we don't eat McDonald We don't eat that ship.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
We don't And out of nowhere.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
I again, it was a snapcackle pot, but it was
Ronald McDonald's. And what's the other the purple dude? What's
the purple dude? I don't know it was, Yeah, thanks John,
dumb dumb to be on my shoulder, like you know,
you want to be bad.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
They don't say that. You know what they say to
old beef. Literally, that's exactly what they said when your shoulder.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
That and some hot fries and a coke maybe. And
I'm ashamed.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
I'm not ashamed.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
I'm ashamed.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
I'm not I'm not ashamed. I'm giving a barbecue sauce.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
I like that barbecue sauce.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
You do have some more sugar. I'm not ashamed. I'm
gonna tell you why. I'm not ashamed. You know why,
because I'm human, all right. I am entitled to indulge
as hard as our work. But the truth of the
matter is I work. I gotta work like ten times
harder because I know I like to eat that stuff.
But I say all of this to say, the main
reason why I bust my ass working out is because
(12:07):
I want to look like how Rocky and a Donna's
creed looked in a movie.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
For you, though, I appreciate that as you should, because
you know why I'm just saying, and I appreciate you
acknowledging that looking good for me because there's always a
lot of pressure put on women, regardless of the phase
or stage that they're in their life. You could just
have a baby, you could be five years. There's a
lot of pressure for us to snap back and get
back to and be skinny again, and all that pressure
(12:34):
on us. I'm just saying, it's nice to know that
you're acknowledging the fact that you need to still look
good for us, because I enjoy the man that I met. Well,
actually you kind of look like I always say, a
pot spoon when we met you at the Big Head
and you weren't as full. It's beautiful and it's amazing
to look at, trust me, especially like when you be
like you be here Hatreon gang. When he be here,
(12:58):
I'll be on my back and he'd be here's.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Nasty ce Nancy, go ahead, telling what uni your back
doing well, spread eagle. But anyway, yeah, she'd be out
here just doing whatever. For me. I love it period,
but that's what gives me the passion to want to exactly.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
So I appreciate you acknowledging that because I just feel
like women are always the ones that are The rhetoric
is always spewed for women to be back in shape
and to be back to what they were before, but
I think it goes both ways. Both men and women
need to be being what they need to be for
their spouse or their partner.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
And we're gonna be clear, We're not saying that in
order to be a good husband you have to have
a six pack. What I'm saying is my wife likes
me with a six pack. I'm busting my ass for
my wife with a six pack. Now, if my wife
likes men who look like Rick Ross, I would be
(13:55):
growing out of beer and be eating Big Max every day,
because that's just what it is. But I think I
think Rick Ross got more healthy. He's lost some weight too. It. Yeah,
but the whole point of the whole point of it
is it's okay to know what your spouse likes. And
I'm gonna speak to the gentleman on this because this
is about This is about me and my bbl that
didn't have It is okay to know what your wife
(14:17):
likes and to work hard for that. Right of course,
I want to be in shape for myself, Like I
say it all the time. I want to one day
be a sex symbol to the whole world. I want
to be bigger than the Rock and Kevin Hard and
Will Smith and Denzel. I want to be bigger than
all of them. So I want to be a sex symbol.
But most importantly, I want to come home and my
wife look at me like you know what I'm saying,
(14:39):
Like that matters to me, and I feel like it should.
It should matter to people who are married. I don't
care how how long y'all been together. And I'm gonna
read some facts and stats that my girl put together here.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Love that for us.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
A twenty twenty one survey found that nearly a third
of men aged twenty five to forty five said that
they were very active and exercised five or more times week.
In comparison, only four percent said they were not physically
active at all and never exercised. That's a really good
stat and you know, I think that actually went up
after the pandemic was up.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Baby No, I was just looking at the second one.
I'm listening to you, but don't finish your thought, and
then I'll read the second one.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
It's rumored that men lose weight faster than women. It's true,
but only in the short term, since men tend to
have more lean muscle tissue, which burns more calories and
body fat even during rest. And when men and women
cut the same number of calories, men usually do lose
more weight. This is why whenever I start breaking out,
you see results.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
It goes fast. We say it all the time.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
My best friend Bianka and her husband Keith very similar
situation where Bianca had five kids, I had four. Keith
used to play ball with de Val and she's just
like Yoda. Minute he touches a weight, he drops right
back down. Me and Harroby over here struggling. Is that
she actually started to supplement in that line. Recently HeLa healthy,
which I've been doing for Lion's Man because child my brain,
(15:58):
baby brain be lingering. But there's just so many things
that we as women have to take. And I've recently
heard that as you get older, and I'm not sure
if this is true, so we may have to look
this up. But the testosterone that women have sometimes too
will drop as you get older, and sometimes you need
to get a healthy dose of testosterone in your body
to be able to.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
I got mad dose of testosterone for you. You let
me know when you need it. I'll drop it off immediately.
You should not ever go without testosone. Let me know.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
I'm not talking about it in that sense.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Deval Okay, I'm talking about health people. She's not trying
to be healthy. I'm trying to do this for you.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
I'm trying to think of the way that it's most
effective for me to ingest it or get it into
my body. I will then retain muscle and cause me
to then burn.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
I just told you the best way to ingest it.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Well, if that's the case, I should be all muscle
bodybuilder vibes.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
You are all muscle.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
I mean, listen, I guess.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
Y'all far on my back, deep squat, all that, working
my way up to my dead lifts again.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
You know what I'm saying. That's because you have enough
t stom true, yes, so we should keep it up.
I've gained three pounds of muscle over the past four months,
but I've lost but I've lost three inches on my waist.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
You did have your fitting and you were on the scale,
which is crazy to me because I with the way
I've been training lately. Right, I've been doing a lot
more protein because it's a fact too that women typically
don't eat as much protein as men or in general. Right,
I've been doubling down on my protein. So I will
eat a big mac at night with the val but
(17:45):
that's after drinking a couple of egg whites during the
day and being on my I forgot the name that
Tripple dubbed me now after gust on the female version
from Beauty and the Beasts about chugging my egg whites,
She's just like you, you're a little meat head vibes.
I'm like, I am, but I'll do that because I
know I want to have my big mag at the
end of the day.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
So many sexual windows I could have gone there. I
just let you rock out though, because it was just
too easy. You caught yourself a meathead. You take meat
to the head, you'd be deep throating egg whites, getting
heavy protein. Listen, I'm loving this for you. Be healthy,
be healthy, you feel me, be healthy.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Had all that to say that I was on the
scale maybe like two weeks ago, I want to say
before you definitely.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
I think that was when I was going to Cabo.
So it's like two or three weeks ago before Sweden
too on.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
The scale and I said it was at one fifty seven, right,
ideally in my mind when I'm thinking about a number,
even though I try not to pay too much attention
to the scale because again, you're trying to outfit. I've
tried on so many outfits over the course of the
past few weeks, and I'm like, this didn't fit me
before this up and now it's just zipping right up.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Right.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
So, having done all that, I was at one fifty seven.
My goal ideal weight was between one forty five and
one fifty. I got on the scale this morning after
eating soup we're clean for the past couple of days
and taking down a ton of protein.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
I'm at one sixty three.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Big.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
How did I get up?
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Big?
Speaker 2 (19:08):
How did I gain five pounds?
Speaker 3 (19:10):
But then you know, muscle they say weighs more than fat,
so I'd like to think that I'm burning the fat
gaining the muscle. I'm all legs for the most part,
posterior chain and I love that for.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Me and for you.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Oh, I love it.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Yeah, So I don't get caught up in like the
weight and the number.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Weight, like that weight don't really matter and like.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Laying my face now too, do y'all see it?
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:34):
You look?
Speaker 2 (19:34):
You look trying to get popping again.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
According to these facts and stats, the easiest way to change,
the easiest change you can make to your diet to
lose belly fat is to eat enough protein, which that
you just talked about. Your protein makes you full, make
you feel full faster period. Adding vinegard to your diet
can increase weight loss. One study found that a mere
fifteen to thirty milli leads one to two tablespools of
vinegar daily reduce his body weight, belly fat, and waste
(20:00):
circumference over a three month period. According to one study,
adding vinegar to your diet will reduce your daily caloric
intake by two hundred and seventy five calories.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
That's the fact.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
I used to do shots of apple sided vinegurance in
the morning.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
But be careful with that, y'all.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
Make sure that when you do drink it now and
you brush your teeth right after or rinse your mouth.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Teeth. Yep.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
While it may seem counterintuitive, eating healthy fats can help
burn belly fat by making you feel full of faster,
which mitigates the risk of future weight gain. That's what
people say keto is or the Atkins diet. But it
also makes weight loss easier because you will be less
tempted to overreach. Try adding fatty food to your diets,
such as fatty tuna, salmon, almonds, olive oil, and whole milk.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
I love a quarter avocado. That's also really good. Yes,
you do have peanut butter two.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Another simple change you can make to burn belly fat
is to make healthier beverage choices. Drinking more water is
also wow, Josh, Wow, Josh, y'all heard that. I hope
we keep all of this stuff in here, so y'all
can hear what be going on here? Doing this podcast
to feel like.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
You're in the room, so you clearly are getting all
the room tones.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Yeah, triubled with slamming toys on the ground, kicking our
kids toys. They're going off now, Josh here taking phone
calls in the middle of the podcast sorright.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
He's watching YouTube.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Okay, drink Drinking more water is always a good idea,
especially since often especially since often we mistake thirst for hunger.
You've been drinking a ship of water.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
It's true, y'all. It's true. And it's to the point
now where my I feel feel like my my palette
is starting to shift where I will. I can't even
drink juice like I used to, even some wines like
things like that.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
I can't.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Is it either too sweet or certain foods or too salty.
Now it's like when you start to kind of train
your body and train your mind. But again, I don't
deprive myself. Like I said, I'm gonna eat the big bag.
I'm gonna eat the rice crispy treat all.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
If I'm gonna let you finish, and the barbecue chips
Kanye west'nna let you finish. But this is about my bee.
Yeah sorry, And this is for the gentleman. Is for
the gentleman, because I also get a lot of dms
from men and women, women asking me, Hey, I want
my husband to get back in shape. What can I
do to help him feel the need or want to
(22:17):
get back in shape without offending him. And then I
get it from men too, just like yo, what's your
workout plan? So realistically, there are a lot of people
who are asking for men as well, but we don't
talk about it a lot. Like you said before, it's
always seemed like the own this is always on women
to like snap back right, and it's almost like dad bodes.
And there was also a picture that came out on
(22:38):
Instagram of a man and his girl and she was
just like before we started dating and now that we're engaged.
And in the first part he had a six pack
and he was smiling, and in the second part he
didn't have a six pack no more. He was smiling,
and people were just like, oh, you can tell he's happy.
But here's the thing. Come, why is it okay for
a man to fall out of shape? And they say
(22:59):
it's because he's had But if a woman does it,
it's like, nah, she got to keep herself together for
her man. And the truth of the matter is is
that this idea that women don't mind you falling out
of shape when you're happy is not real. It's not
like some women like a different type of man in
the way they look and I'm not talking about those women.
I'm talking about the women who met a man who
was in shape in the gym all the time, and
(23:21):
now he chooses not to go anymore because he'd rather
be at home and be with his girl, which I understand.
But that woman still wants you to look the way
that she saw you, the way she fell in love
with you, the way she lusted for you. And I
think it's okay for men to be like, nah, I'm
keeping myself up because I want my wife to still
look at me that way. I am not gonna lie
to you. Yo. When I had gained weight and kind
(23:42):
of got out of shape and looked at myself in
the mirror, I didn't like the way I looked. I
just didn't feel strapping. I didn't feel like it's gonna
sound crazy, but I didn't feel like a protector, right.
I felt like a little soft, like if somebody came
in the house and I had to wrest with some
guys for something, I would lose, you know what I'm saying.
So I was like, I gotta get back into my bag,
(24:03):
and I want to talk to the gentleman and be like, yo,
it is okay to get back in your bag. It
is okay to take an hour out of your day
every day and be like, yo, baby, you got the kids,
or it's just you. I gotta go to the gym,
or if you got a gym downstairs, or if you're
gonna go run or ride a bike or take a
swim or jump rope. You need that, gentlemen, you need that,
and more importantly than just the way you look, you
(24:24):
need that to be present for your family as you
get older. Like watching my pops the way he was,
I was like, I never seen my father look this
week before. And he's changed his lifestyle around. He eats
differently and he's lost weight. But I was just like,
I could have lost my dad. I have friends who've
lost their dads. I have friends who I've lost you know.
(24:44):
I have a buddy of mine who just recently had
a stroke, Bake, who played He was a world class athlete.
He played for the Redskins, just recently had a stroke
and he's chronicling his comeback after the stroke. And Bake
is thirty seven. You know what I'm saying, Men have
to do a better job of taking our health into
our own hands. And it starts with those simple things.
(25:06):
Drink more water, get your ass up, and at least
walk twenty minutes every day.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
It's the little changes.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
I'm gonna tell y'all those little changes, and that's great,
a great message for men. I think women can pull
from it too. It's taking the small steps that then
become bigger steps. That's how it was for me, because
everyone knows I've said it before, consistency was never my thing.
When it came to the gym and being out there
working out and eating and writing any of that, it
just wasn't. I think part of the motivation for me
(25:33):
was just knowing, Okay, I know I was in the
trenches pregnant with the last baby. When I'm finally out
of the postpartum woods, which is around eighteen months for me, now,
it's like, okay, things start to set in. But then
there's also me knowing that internally I need to be
fighting against or preventing myself from getting those hereditary running
the family type things like the diabetes and the hygh
(25:53):
pertension and all that. It's easy to just start with
each other, like Deval and I have some of the
best time together when we block out, you know, hour
and a half during the day we go to the
gym and sometimes we're not side by side doing the
same workouts at the same time. But it's kind of
knowing that you have a gym buddy there, you know,
somebody that can just kind of check you. Devo will
come make sure I'm doing the right things, and you know,
(26:15):
just having the camaraderie. We have some good times together
just going to the gym now and that was never
a thing for me. So it's become a change in
the mindset, changing the lifestyle and doing it together. That's
been great.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Look at you smiling a smiling because like it's so
funny how we always say we over me, but it
really comes back to we over me. Right when you
weren't feeling like yourself, going through postpartum, going through all
of these things, it was like, if I get go
to the gym with her, do this with her, make
her feel blah blah blah blah blah. But now as
a man, I'm going through my you know, phase of
(26:46):
where I'm seeing my body change a little bit and
I want to be more healthier and things aren't the
same for me. And it's like when Kay was just
like babe let's go to the gym. She got her
tights on, and I'm like, all right, let's go. Like
it does make me feel a little bit more like
I want to do it if I know you're doing
and you lost a ton of weight over the last
four months, and watching you do that, that inspired me
(27:09):
because I don't want to be the dadbod while you
on the beach when we're on vacation. Like a lot
of insecurities that come from men comes from us watching
our bodies change. Men don't like to talk about this stuff.
I don't give a fuck. Right, everybody knows I'm thinning.
That's a part of life, right, I'm thinning. What are
you going to do as a man to help prevent
(27:30):
your life from just going away from you? And you
can't see it? Right, So for me dealing with the
thinning and stuff like that, people just like, well, why
don't you just let it go and go bald? I
don't mind doing that, you know what I'm saying. I don't.
Part of the issue is I play a character on
TV that has hair, so I have to maintain a
certain level of hair while I'm on television. That doesn't
(27:53):
mean that when you wake up in the morning and
you realize that your hair is thinning, and my hair
has been thin for about six years now, that you
don't feel away as a man, right, I've already been contemplating, like,
you know what if I cut all my hair off
and I go with beard, that's also a good look.
You know what I'm saying. I could be bored with
a beard.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
I'm not a hat guy. Yeah, but I say all
this to say to gentlemen, like, as you watch your
youth go away the same way women watch, it's okay
to say I want to maintain my youth. I want
to maintain a certain measure of confidence in myself. The
gym is always the right way to start, Like, the
gym is always the right way to start, mainly because
(28:29):
the endorphins that you get and you produce from going
to the gym just make you feel better. You go
to gym, you come back, You're like, I just I
did that. Like what's what's next? Like, let me go
pink started the house, Let me let me fix the gutters,
you know, let me let me you know, the transmission
needs to be fixed. I value you have an electric Porsche.
I'm gonna change the battery on it. Like you just
want to do stuff because the endorphins.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
You know, though, Remember when I came back from Toronto
and I was just like, yo, aside from missing you,
I was like, man, I hadn't worked out in like
three days. I think we were juggling the kids in Toronto.
You were filming. I didn't have a chance, any chance
really to get to get a good workout in. And
I came home and I was like, Yo, I feel like.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Crap, crap. Yeah, I remember, and I was.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Like, well, what's the last time you worked out? And
I was like, you know what, I haven't worked out
for like a good three days. Yep, got my ass up,
went to the gym. Instant mood shifts, so you felt good.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
It was like instant. It was like taking an energy drink.
It was just it was. It was insane.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Speaking of taking energy drinks, this is not one of
the facts and stats, but this is also something I've learned,
even from being a workout gout. If you become dependent
on energy drinks to get you to workouts and through workouts,
when you don't have them energy drinks, your body crashes
and it's almost like you become dependent, and it can
also lead to depression if you don't feel that spark
(29:42):
on the day you're not working out. I've noticed that
with a lot of Yeah, with a lot of my
my friends who use energy drinks or they used them.
I never got into energy drinks like the endorphins, and
the high I got was from just going and you know,
let's go, ET's building myself up. So I never had
that issue. But this is also a fact that that's
not on here. But your testosterone really does start to
(30:03):
drop at a certain age. Right, there is no one
age where all the testosterone drops for men, but your
testops from does start to drop. What people don't know
is that you can continue to boost your testosterone by
doing certain key exercises, which is why I came went
to the chiropractor last night, and the chiropractor was like,
you still squat, You're still deadlift, Like why, Like why
would you do that? What are you training for? Was
(30:24):
like life?
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Life?
Speaker 1 (30:31):
You are you are so invested in this wife life
training for backshots. I fucking love it. Your nasty girl,
you are so nasty, but I love it. But I
still do squats and dead listen, I'm not training for backshots.
I'm training to give backshots. That's why I also do
hip thrusts, but doing squats and deadlifts right and one
(30:52):
of the the well two of the largest muscle groups
in your body your back, your poster of your chain,
your legs, your glutes, your hamstrings. When you work out
those areas, your body pushes testosterone through to help you
rebuild those muscles back. So the more weights you lift
more consistently, if you do it properly and healthily, you
can continue to increase your testosterone output as a man.
(31:17):
That's why when you see dudes who are in the
gym and they're like in their forties and fifties and
they're still like chasing after these young girls, it's because
their testosterone is still pumping because they didn't get into
the rut of oh, now i'm thirty, I gotta slow down.
So many men get into this rut when they like,
I just turned thirty, on my back gonna start hurting
on my knees, so they stop working out as much,
(31:38):
and then every it's like a self fulfilling prophecy you
told yourself when you are thirty. Stuff is gonna hurt,
so you stop working out. So your muscles got weaker,
your joints got a little bit more weaker. Everything is sore.
And now you're thirty five and it's getting worse. Now
your testosteron's dropping, so when you start to get back
into workout, it's that much harder. Now you're forty. Now
your hair's falling out because your testosterone is dropped. You
(32:00):
got a belly. And that's that depressing phase that men
get into if they don't keep it up. And I
wanted to talk about this because that happens to all
of us. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. It does
the same way. You can get on here and talk
about being depressed because of childbirth sometimes and postpartum depression.
I can honestly say, as a man, you wake up
in the morning and you look at yourself. You've been
(32:21):
going NonStop for years to feed your family, and you're tired,
and you look at your eyes, and your eyes are
dark and puffy, and you just don't look the youthful
self anymore. You know. You look in the mirror and
now you got more gray hairs in your beard and
in your hair, and then parts of your hair is thinner,
and you're just like, what is happening to me?
Speaker 3 (32:39):
And some of it you think it's just like stresses
of life, Like, oh, y, stresses of life. Because with women,
I think we can pinpoint certain times when we have
those ships i e. Pregnancy, you know, menstruation, all that
we have like certain moments when we pinpoint it. And
then usually men are just like we look at you'all like, oh, well,
y'all never have any changes because y'all never go through
those really, you know, big changes in the hormones and
(32:59):
all that because you don't carry children. But I can't
take for granted that you don't just have natural changes
that happen over the course of your life. Just as
you age and depending on what you have going on
in life.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
We have changes to we go through. We don't have
like a post partum depression phase or a prenatal phase.
We don't have a menstrual phase. That people have created
a leniency in a space for women to go through
that and have those discussions from men, it's like, y'all
don't go through nothing, so be a man and deal
with it. But I'm telling you right now that's why
I wanted to talk about this is that men do
(33:32):
go through this. Like I got friends that we're all
middle aged, we're all going to be forty, we're all
turning forty this year, are going to be forty next year,
and all of the topics of conversations are hairlines, male pattern, baldness,
body weight gain, performance in the bedroom. That's another thing, gentlemen,
if you knew how much your libido would sustain by
(33:55):
working out, I guarantee you would work out. Had a
young lady DM me and say hey, just send me
this long thing and say I know I would ask
you this question because I see you and don't mind
being honest. But her husband has been struggling with a
rectile dysfunction. This could have been a listener letter was
struggling with a rectile dysfunction when he turned thirty five,
(34:19):
and she was just like, you know, like, what is
it me? She hard question was is it me? As
a woman? Am I not turning him on enough? Like
she was pretty much she's putting it on herself, like
something's wrong with me, the same way I put it
on myself when your sex drive wasn't as high, not
knowing that it was birth control and Postparliament, and I'm
(34:40):
just like, what's wrong with deval? She did the same thing,
and you know, as I do sometimes and I'm not
telling you all this to do this, but sometimes I
get DMS and I respond with give me a phone call,
or we'll text people back and forth, and I'd be like,
I really want to help some people. So I was
just like, yo, like what is his workout plan? And
the first thing she said was workout? He don't work out.
(35:02):
Now she's older in him, So what is she in? Oh,
she's in her forties. She's in her forties and she
works out. She's had I think I think she said
she had three kids and she got into this work.
I think after having her last child, because she was
just like, I want to get my body back, because
she said she started following us. She followed your journey.
(35:24):
But he can't keep up. He's thirty five. He's suffering
from erect out dysfunction. Some days of good days, some
days are not good days. He was taking the pain
medication for blood pressure. She I was about to say,
you see what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
Blood pressure medication will completely take it away.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
So I said, the issue to me, doesn't sound like,
it's just the working out. If he's taking blood pressure
medication is probably because his health is off, so he's
taking the medication to subsidize that. And now that's messing
with his libido, which is why most black men don't
like taking blood pressure medication because it affects your libido
and they're like, you're not going to take away my manhood,
(36:00):
and then they end up having issues with health because
you don't want to take.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
Them because they don't take it.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
Yeah, and it's like a viciousious cycle.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
And when she issue, say one more time putting band
aids over gun wounds, can't hear you can't heal a
gun wound with a band aid. You gotta first take
the bullet out. And you got to heal a womb.
You can't just put a band aid over it. So
she was like, Okay, thank you for the advice. I'll
work with him on it. She gives me updates. She
(36:30):
said he stopped taking the blood pressure medication, but he
changed his dyet. He watches his salt intake and his
sugar intake and he goes to see the doctormal offering
so that they can manage it without him taking the medication,
So he found a doctor who was willing to work
with him to do those things. After he stopped, he
checked his blood pressure, he stopped taking a medication, his
(36:53):
libido started to come back. As his libido started to
come back, he didn't like the way he looked like
he was naked, so he started going to the gym
with her. He started to lose some weight and now
she was like they started to get back to the
way they were. But the whole point of the story
is there are things we as men go through that
we don't ever express to our wives. Right. For example,
(37:16):
We're going to do a whole other podcast on this.
Some of the regret, Now, no I don't want to
drop this on you, but some of the regret I
feel about having a esected me. Right, Men, we don't
discuss that with our wives. I do, and we can
do a whole we can do a whole podcast. Yeah,
(37:39):
we'll do a whole podcast on it. And it's not
it's not a regret towards you, like you made me
do it. I am still one hundred percent in agreement
that I should have been the one to do it,
and I did it because you sacrifice so much for me,
but there still is a little bit of peace in me,
just like damn, I can't have kids no more. And
I never thought that I would feel that way. Yeah,
you know what I'm saying. I never thought that way.
(37:59):
But we'll we'll have a whole podcast on it, cause
I want to unpack that in how I've been trying
to work through that journey, because I know men feel
like that too, but they don't never express it, and
it's like we're never there's never a place for us
where we can talk about this. I do want to
talk about it.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
Okay, we'll do that.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
But having this conversation was about health, but also telling
the man it's okay to be vain and say that
you also want to be young and stay young. You
want to stay in that twenty two to twenty five
range where the minute you wake up, your dick just
hard for no reason. You know what I'm saying. You
can't even pee in the toilet because you dig just hard,
like when you twenty two, matter of fact, eighteen, from
(38:36):
eighteen to like twenty five, it's like no matter what
you did, gonna be hard. Like you start falling asleep
in class and you wake up middle class, like want
my dick card. I'm tired, Like what the fuck is happening?
Like that? That goes away if you don't continue to
move like you're that age. That's why I'm excited that
I have sons. I work out with him every single day.
Speaker 3 (38:55):
Oh man, They're gonna keep you on your toil. Man,
I do the whole family affair over here.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Cairo gonna want to and work. He wants to work out.
He wants me to work out with him. Then Caves
was like, Daddy, can you get in the pool and
swim with me? Then Jackson is you know, can you
take me to shoot? And I'm every day I'm just moving, moving,
And the more I've dedicated myself to my family, I've
noticed the more weight that I've lost in, the better
I look. So I wanted to I'm gonna say some
(39:22):
things my moment of truth, but I did want to
tell you that the reason why I picked that Rocky
theme is because I'm fighting. I'm fighting. I'm in this
battle to be exactly who it is you lusted for
and you fell in love. I'm fighting to be that
person still. So I got you, baby, I got you.
Speaker 3 (39:40):
Where you can stand on. I'm over here working too.
You want, baby, I got receipts. I got receipts. All right,
y'all to take a quick break and we're gonna jump
into listen to Maybe I'll do one since we already
kind of did one with that story you gave about. Yeah,
so we'll keep it short for letters this time, and
we will get back to it.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
We good, I'll wait for you. You good, all right? Well, yeah,
do what you gotta do, bro. Yeah, that's right, that's green.
Speaker 3 (40:36):
Actually, all right, all right, ready, I'll do the second
one because the first one is kind of like we've
spoke about fitness stuff already. All right, we're back and
we're gonna do one listener letter just because we kind
of went through a story with the young lady that
(40:58):
you've been dming and stuff. So here we are. I've
been in a long distance relationship for six months. My
boyfriend recently moved here with me. I went through his
phone and found some disturbing text messages along with the
video ooh. Although the video has a date and time,
he's still denying it. He says that I'm focused on
the wrong aspect of our relationship, but I believe our
(41:20):
relationship was built on deception. He left his family, kids,
and job to be with me. But I can't get
over what I saw. What would you do in my situation? Well, girl,
what'd you see?
Speaker 1 (41:33):
Fuck that? Like? Why would you want to be with
somebody who would leave their kids, family, in job?
Speaker 4 (41:39):
Like?
Speaker 1 (41:40):
Clearly his priorities are not in order, Like I don't
give a shit. I'm not leaving my kids for nothing,
Like I don't care, Like you could be the worst
person in the world. Could you could? You could right,
and there could be another woman who would be perfect
for me. Ma'am, you're gonna have to take me with
these kids. I'm not leaving my kids for nobody.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
Guess that same.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
That's all I saw in this all the other stuff
to me, don't marry anybody who's willing to leave his
family and kids and not for nothing. He got a
family and kids and jobs. Was you a side chick
before that?
Speaker 3 (42:12):
That's what it's giving? Long distance for six months? Did
you not know that he was in a relationship? But
I'm not sure. I'm not sure what the video is
or the text messages that you.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
Tried were disturbed deception.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
Clearly his wife like I'm just being honest, Like, what
are we waiting? Right?
Speaker 3 (42:27):
Well, I don't know if he was married, but he
left his family, kids and everything. So if you hid
dry left him, then there was definitely something going on
that you were then an additive too.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
This is what is given only, and I don't judge people,
you know, I don't judge on the paragraph that she sent.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
Girl.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
It is giving that she was a side chick and
he left his family and his wife, probably because his
wife caught him his dumb ass with a picture in
the video of her, So he left them and went
to go be with her and forgot to delete the
stuff with his wife is a dumb mess right, and
(43:02):
got caught with his side check. But she's only and
she was probably deceived because she probably didn't know he
had a She knows he had a wife because you know,
he had kids and.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
A job and it was period. Can you send us
a follow up a little more detail.
Speaker 3 (43:16):
I want to know what the video was and the
text messages because I'm partners and I part need more
context to give you some sound advice because I don't
know what I would do in your situations after this,
or bro, I don't know who wrote in here, but
it's giving very much like we need more details, so
sending a dundum.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
I will say this though, even without the details, I
would not be with anybody who left their kids to
be with me. I don't care. She could be the
most beautiful woman in the world, right it could be
you right now. And if he was like the villa,
I love you, but I have four kids at home
with it, I'd be like, well, you need to go
be a mom, Like you can't be with me and
not be with them kids and asks to be here.
Fact to me, that's that's first and foremost that kids here.
Speaker 2 (43:56):
Pull up with the kids at least, right, pull up
with the kids.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
I'll take you with the kids, like I'm on the.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
Job to like you just dropped everything.
Speaker 1 (44:04):
With the kids and your job, the job. What we're
not gonna do is be unemployed.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
No unemployed, but we're together together. This is going to
pay these bills.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
So that's what she should have said, don't leave your
kids all your job.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
You can come and bring all of those in to Yeah,
let's get let's get some more context here.
Speaker 3 (44:22):
Isn't that that's the one that we circle back, But
we'll circle we'll spend the block on that one when
we get more details. All right, y'all, keep writing in
listening to letters. Very good time. We love y'all again,
no judgment. We're just gonna give you the two cents
because you asked so. Email us at the advice at
gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
That's D E A D A S S A D
V I C E at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
Moment of truth time. I think mine is pretty simple.
Do you have one? Mine is is.
Speaker 3 (44:49):
Fight fight for yourself, fight for your family, fight for
your spouse, fight for your health, fight for the things
that matter, because ultimately you're in control of that and
no one can do it but you. Because ultimately, Deval
has always been, over the course of our twenty years,
either the inspiration for me to want to work out.
Speaker 2 (45:11):
He's been the motivation. He's been the drill sergeant.
Speaker 3 (45:13):
He's been the kick in the ass, he's been the
accountability partner, he's been a lot of things, a lot
of different roles. The fact that he's even still here
with me on this journey to this healthy lifestyle, it's commendable.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
Give yourself some credit, because no, it's.
Speaker 2 (45:25):
Commendable because I got that.
Speaker 3 (45:28):
I gave you a hard way to go a lot
of times, and ultimately you only had my best interest
at heart every single time, and you knew my body.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
Better in your thighs that far.
Speaker 3 (45:39):
That part you true did, but you were just ultimately
holding me accountable to the things that I wanted. But
it didn't happen until I wanted to fight for myself.
Fight for yourself first and foremost, and you'll be surprised
at how so many other aspects of your life improve
when you put your health first and you invest in that.
(46:00):
Your mood, clarity of mind, the way your body functions,
your quality of sleep, just so many different things skin here.
I mean, there's so many benefits to just taking care
of yourself. So if it means that much to you,
if your family means that much to you, fight yep,
because we're not getting any younger. Getting older is inevitable,
(46:23):
and you don't want the responsibility to then be placed
on your family members to have to take care of
you when you're in a position where you can't do
it for yourself. So start, start somewhere, Start now.
Speaker 2 (46:34):
Period.
Speaker 1 (46:35):
I feel you. Those are great words, thanks, actually really
really great words. My moment of truth is this my
man's don't lose yourself, yo, Stop making excuses for not
doing what's right for you. Your family can't be your
excuse for you not doing what's right for you, because
(46:56):
ultimately then you're not doing right for your family if
you can't be here them, work out, drink water, get sleep,
love yourself. I got one question before we go. Yeah,
is it a fact that women want their men to
look a certain way? Is that a fact for me? Yes?
(47:19):
For me, yes, feel a way when men lose themselves
in relationships, like when they don't look the same.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Way, I would think so. I would absolutely think so.
Speaker 1 (47:28):
The reason why I'm saying that is because this idea
that men get to just go bald and get fat
and be lazy and still have a wife and kids
and take care of them is okay. It's not okay.
It's not okay. We have obligations that we require of
the women that we love. It is okay that they
have obligations for us. You love that woman and she
(47:50):
wants you to look a certain way, and you chose
to be with her and ask her for her hand
in marriage, own up to that obligation. Do what you
have to do. Like a thing said, and fight to
be everything that your wife, or your girlfriend or your
baby mother wants you to be, so that you can
be a better version of yourself for you and your kids.
Don't let the depression go unheard. We all go through it.
(48:12):
We all wake up one morning look at ourselves and like, dang,
I do not look the way I used to look,
the more we all go through it.
Speaker 3 (48:17):
Yes, fight for it, for it, go get it d
with your partner, whatever your partner looks like.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
Do it all right, y'all.
Speaker 3 (48:24):
Be sure to follow us on Patreon to see exclusive
dead Ass Podcasts video.
Speaker 2 (48:29):
Thank y'all for watching.
Speaker 3 (48:30):
If you are and you can find us on social media,
follow our Instagram page. We do lots of chatting and
stuff there as well. Dead Ass to the podcast and
you can find me on my social media page Kadean
I am.
Speaker 1 (48:42):
And I am Deval And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts,
be sure to rate, review and subscribe.
Speaker 3 (48:48):
Keep doing that, y'all. We love you, dead Ass. Now
get that ass up.
Speaker 1 (48:53):
Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network, and
it's produced by Donor Opinion and Triple Follow the podcast
on social media at dead Ass the podcast and never
miss a thing
I did not get a BBL. What don't worry abody,
just go with it, dead ass.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Bruh.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Devout and we're the Ellis's.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
You may know us from posting funny videos with our boys.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
And reading each other publicly as a form of therapy.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Wait, I make you need therapy most days.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Wow. Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Yes, sir, we are. We created this podcast to open
dialogue about some of Li's most taboo topics.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Things most folks don't want to talk about.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass
is a term that we say every day. So when
we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred
the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Were about to take philos off to our whole new level.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Dead ass starts right now, all right, So you didn't
get a BBL.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
What No, I didn't get a BBM is.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
The word on the street, because you know that's.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Not the word on the street. But I had to
bring that out because I'm a little offended, okay, because
you would gain weight then you lost it, and everybody
was just like oh, I think Kadeen got to BBL.
She got to beat me down. I gain't wait, I
lost it. Ain't nobody say nothing. Ain't nobody said, oh
if I look good, he got a b BL.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Nobody sawers.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
No, ain't nobody giving me my flowers?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Was given a flowers.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
I'm tight. I'm tight.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
You should have did it before and after something I
should have.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
You know, that's the problem. I didn't. I didn't do
it before and after.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
You know what, you know, I had to post a
receipt to for what after? For Mother's Day. If you
go to my Mother's Day post, right, it's me, my grandmother,
my mom. The very last slide of that post is
your mom.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
I've seen it stacked.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
So if there was ever a question of where I
got it from, I am the epitome of she get
it from her mama, shout out to me.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
But anyway, back to your BBO.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Yeah, pops, my pops are stacked. So that's what I
got it.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
You don't want to be stacked like that?
Speaker 1 (02:06):
No, no, no, no. So this is the story's a
little serious, but it'll get a little funny funny after this. Right.
Twenty twenty one was the first year we moved here,
and yes, we went to go to the breakfast club. Yeah,
(02:27):
twenty twenty one, we went to go to breakfast club
for the first time. And I got a phone call
from my mom about my dad and she's like, no,
I got a call phone call from my brother. I
was like, Yo, your father's not not looking good. Give
your pops a call. So I called Scoop. He was
not looking good. He had lost a ton of weight.
He was like looked kind of like flush, like gray,
and he could barely talk. His mouth was dry, which
(02:48):
I already knew from doing exercise physiology and stuff that
a lot of the warning signs we look for with
clients who come in for training are signs of diabetes
pre diabetes. And I could tell by the way he
was talking in his Thursday he said he had to
go to the bathroom every like ten to fifteen minutes.
I said, that's and it's just a diabetic issue. So
I told my mom to go. I said, YO, take
(03:10):
dad to the hospital. And she was just like, I
take on my wings. They got a hospital appointment on
wins and said, Mom, if you don't take him to
the hospital to mom or fly home mom and take
him to the hospital. Myself.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
I remember that she was serious.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
I was dead serious.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
We were both going to be on the next thing,
smoking out of here yep.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
And she was like, find I'll take him to the hospital.
Chakes my mom to my dad to the hospital. Turns
out my dad's A one C was like it.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Was something ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
It was something ridiculous. It was like sixteen, which and
I think seven makes you diabetic. Yeah, but it was
high and also his uh that was his A one c.
But there was also his there was his sugar number
or something was so high that the machine couldn't even
register it. It was something crazy like that. And they
ended up admitting him to the hospital and they found
out that he was diabetic and he had to change
(03:56):
his diet. And the reason why I'm telling you other
stories because of this next part. When I flew to
New York and I went to speak to my dad
because I was upset at him because I always talk
about being in shapeitness and being there for your family
and being healthy. And I looked at my pops and
I was just like, yo, why you never told me
like you was feeling good and stuff like that, And
(04:17):
for the first time ever in my life. My father
leaned over and cried on me and said that he
thought he was gonna die. Wow, changed my life. This
karaoke song is dedicated to my family especially, and I'm
gonna say especially my wife especially. Yes, but it's not
(04:42):
gonna be for the reason that you think it is. Right.
So here's the song.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
Then running right now, A work to it.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Now, stop screaming and triples mike a bad trouble.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
We're gonna take a quick break and we're gonna come back,
and we're gonna discuss. While I was singing the rocky theme, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Yeah, for sure, that's sure as hell wouldn't be feeling
like up in this bitch after.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Aast the funk out.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Let's take a quick break.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
We'll be back, all right.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
So now we're back.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Yes, maybe nobody's appreciating you a little fatty you got
going on?
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Maybe?
Speaker 1 (05:48):
First of all, I don't got it fatty, all right, man,
No man wants a muscle, Yeah, I got.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
It back there because I don't particularly like a flat ass,
neither on the man. But I don't like a fat
ass either. You're asking be in competition with mine.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
My ass could never be in competition with yours. Ever
that thing back there, God, that's whoo one of my
favorite things, said Maya. I'm actually in the zone right
now thinking about it. If I can't sing you on Patreot,
I'm thinking about it right now. But no, I wanted
to talk about this because the reason why I sang
(06:24):
the Rocky theme is because when I look at the
shape syl Vester Stallone was in and Buddy that played
the Donna's creed, they that was like the most ripped
people I've ever seen in my life as a kid
growing up actual and I remember saying as like, as
a young person, like that's the epitome of manliness to
(06:46):
be like that ripped, that oiled up right, and it
was like running through this running through the beach in
the same.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
If Val had the opportunity to walk around shirtless every
day of his life, you would.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
I would.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
But there's some problems here. What's that problems? Is your family?
Speaker 2 (07:02):
My family?
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Yes, your family. I'm glad we're talking about this so
I can tell y'all how the sabotage happens in this house.
What I'd be on the treadmill, your pops, come tap
me on the shoulder. Let me buy you a drink.
I'm on the treadmill. He wants me to have a
drink with him. So the minute I get off the treadmill,
you know what he got in his hand a drink,
(07:24):
a drink, and you know, rum be adding stuff to
my stomach.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
That he'd be like, let me buy you a drink
from my bar.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
To buy me a drink, right, but it don't stop there.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
He'd be stocking it though.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
It don't stop there, stock it. When I come home
from my trips, Who'll be in the kitchen making oxtail,
lesign ya.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
All his favorites, your fish, stewl chicken.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Your moms be.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Be taking good care of you, your moms.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
She'd be like, what do you think the al will
want when he gets back home from filming?
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Because he was in Toronto.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
For six weeks.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
She rolled out all of it. She sent me to
go buy dog. Still to do all this feet for
your guy. She's just like, you gotta hold it down,
you know, whole my guy down.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
It's been away all this time, and and gett no
home cooked food, trying to have Jamaican food, but they
don't have home cooked foods.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
It's not like yes, so when I walk in the house,
I gotta deal with all this home cooked food all
the time, right, and I'm not complaining? What is?
Speaker 3 (08:24):
What is?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Then your pops want to buy me drinks with my
own alcohol after coming off the treadmill, right, still not complaining?
Then your kids? Your kids? Why am I missing it?
Your kids got all these snacks in the pantry, bro.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
It's a detriment to me too, though not just you,
because as much as I try to eat clean now,
it's just like snacks being there. Our little pantry mouse
aka Dakota always finds a way to want to be
just feeding me snacks.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Feeding Will you be feeding me snacks late at night?
I go in there take my hit from my blunt
because I want to sleep good at night. But the
Munchi's be calling me and them freaking rice Chrispy cheeks,
the rice crisp rice Krispy cheeks. That's I'm about to
start telling you rice Krispy cheeks, because that's why you
got all them cheeks back there, because you eat them
rice Krispy trees. Them. Shit's got a hold on me, yo.
(09:13):
It don't matter what night it is, it don't matter
what type of night it is. After I smoke, I'll
be chilling their mind in my business, trying to be disciplined.
And I hear them. I hear them in the pantry
going snap crackle pop, snap crackle pop, snapcragle pop, and
I just gotta go get one or two, like.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
The devil's on your shoulder.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
It is.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
It's bad.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
And the kids more recently, like Jackson came out one day,
was like, oh, Mom, can you get rice krispby trees?
Speaker 2 (09:35):
They hadn't been eating them.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
I don't know. You know, how do you go to
school when somebody has it? You're like, oh, I want
to try it. So I got a forty count box
and I was getting ready to blast the kids because
the forty count box that I had bought on like
a Tuesday. By Thursday was almost done. And I literally
went over there and I said, you know, I caught
myself because I'm like, I know I've seen de Vow
munching on it. I seen some rappers in the garbage
(09:57):
in our bedroom. I'm like, it couldn't have been the kids.
I said, before I fast on these kids, let me
ask the Vow if he did this did you you.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Almost eight half that box by yourself?
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Yep, they got a hold on me. I ain't gonna
lie because because I go into the pantry at night, right,
and I'll be like, I'm gonna just have one, right,
And then I see one and it'll be next to
another one, and I'll be like, I might as well
just have five pop, because if I'm gonna eat it,
I'm gonna eat it. Like I'm not gonna just taste it.
I'm gonna eat it. So then there you go, snap,
crackle pop. And now I didn't have five Rice Christy
(10:30):
Trees at one in the morning, but bruh. And then
my my lovely wife here, who does not believe in
my journey.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
At all, of course I do.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
You'll be watching Rain and Kanan and Raisin Raisin Kane.
I can't even talk. I'm so thinking about this fucking
Rice Christy Trees. We watching Raisin Kane, and she gonna
look over at me and she'd be like, you know
what I could use right now? A big mac, y'all.
So I'm like, wait a minute, wait a minute, you're gonna,
I said, I go where you gonna find a big mac?
In one in the morning, She pick up her phone
and go.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Guys, this is coming from two people who don't even
eat McDonald.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Don't eat we don't eat McDonald We don't eat that ship.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
We don't And out of nowhere.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
I again, it was a snapcackle pot, but it was
Ronald McDonald's. And what's the other the purple dude? What's
the purple dude? I don't know it was, Yeah, thanks John,
dumb dumb to be on my shoulder, like you know,
you want to be bad.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
They don't say that. You know what they say to
old beef. Literally, that's exactly what they said when your shoulder.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
That and some hot fries and a coke maybe. And
I'm ashamed.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
I'm not ashamed.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
I'm ashamed.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
I'm not I'm not ashamed. I'm giving a barbecue sauce.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
I like that barbecue sauce.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
You do have some more sugar. I'm not ashamed. I'm
gonna tell you why. I'm not ashamed. You know why,
because I'm human, all right. I am entitled to indulge
as hard as our work. But the truth of the
matter is I work. I gotta work like ten times
harder because I know I like to eat that stuff.
But I say all of this to say, the main
reason why I bust my ass working out is because
(12:07):
I want to look like how Rocky and a Donna's
creed looked in a movie.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
For you, though, I appreciate that as you should, because
you know why I'm just saying, and I appreciate you
acknowledging that looking good for me because there's always a
lot of pressure put on women, regardless of the phase
or stage that they're in their life. You could just
have a baby, you could be five years. There's a
lot of pressure for us to snap back and get
back to and be skinny again, and all that pressure
(12:34):
on us. I'm just saying, it's nice to know that
you're acknowledging the fact that you need to still look
good for us, because I enjoy the man that I met. Well,
actually you kind of look like I always say, a
pot spoon when we met you at the Big Head
and you weren't as full. It's beautiful and it's amazing
to look at, trust me, especially like when you be
like you be here Hatreon gang. When he be here,
(12:58):
I'll be on my back and he'd be here's.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Nasty ce Nancy, go ahead, telling what uni your back
doing well, spread eagle. But anyway, yeah, she'd be out
here just doing whatever. For me. I love it period,
but that's what gives me the passion to want to exactly.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
So I appreciate you acknowledging that because I just feel
like women are always the ones that are The rhetoric
is always spewed for women to be back in shape
and to be back to what they were before, but
I think it goes both ways. Both men and women
need to be being what they need to be for
their spouse or their partner.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
And we're gonna be clear, We're not saying that in
order to be a good husband you have to have
a six pack. What I'm saying is my wife likes
me with a six pack. I'm busting my ass for
my wife with a six pack. Now, if my wife
likes men who look like Rick Ross, I would be
(13:55):
growing out of beer and be eating Big Max every day,
because that's just what it is. But I think I
think Rick Ross got more healthy. He's lost some weight too. It. Yeah,
but the whole point of the whole point of it
is it's okay to know what your spouse likes. And
I'm gonna speak to the gentleman on this because this
is about This is about me and my bbl that
didn't have It is okay to know what your wife
(14:17):
likes and to work hard for that. Right of course,
I want to be in shape for myself, Like I
say it all the time. I want to one day
be a sex symbol to the whole world. I want
to be bigger than the Rock and Kevin Hard and
Will Smith and Denzel. I want to be bigger than
all of them. So I want to be a sex symbol.
But most importantly, I want to come home and my
wife look at me like you know what I'm saying,
(14:39):
Like that matters to me, and I feel like it should.
It should matter to people who are married. I don't
care how how long y'all been together. And I'm gonna
read some facts and stats that my girl put together here.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Love that for us.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
A twenty twenty one survey found that nearly a third
of men aged twenty five to forty five said that
they were very active and exercised five or more times week.
In comparison, only four percent said they were not physically
active at all and never exercised. That's a really good
stat and you know, I think that actually went up
after the pandemic was up.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Baby No, I was just looking at the second one.
I'm listening to you, but don't finish your thought, and
then I'll read the second one.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
It's rumored that men lose weight faster than women. It's true,
but only in the short term, since men tend to
have more lean muscle tissue, which burns more calories and
body fat even during rest. And when men and women
cut the same number of calories, men usually do lose
more weight. This is why whenever I start breaking out,
you see results.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
It goes fast. We say it all the time.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
My best friend Bianka and her husband Keith very similar
situation where Bianca had five kids, I had four. Keith
used to play ball with de Val and she's just
like Yoda. Minute he touches a weight, he drops right
back down. Me and Harroby over here struggling. Is that
she actually started to supplement in that line. Recently HeLa healthy,
which I've been doing for Lion's Man because child my brain,
(15:58):
baby brain be lingering. But there's just so many things
that we as women have to take. And I've recently
heard that as you get older, and I'm not sure
if this is true, so we may have to look
this up. But the testosterone that women have sometimes too
will drop as you get older, and sometimes you need
to get a healthy dose of testosterone in your body
to be able to.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
I got mad dose of testosterone for you. You let
me know when you need it. I'll drop it off immediately.
You should not ever go without testosone. Let me know.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
I'm not talking about it in that sense.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Deval Okay, I'm talking about health people. She's not trying
to be healthy. I'm trying to do this for you.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
I'm trying to think of the way that it's most
effective for me to ingest it or get it into
my body. I will then retain muscle and cause me
to then burn.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
I just told you the best way to ingest it.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Well, if that's the case, I should be all muscle
bodybuilder vibes.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
You are all muscle.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
I mean, listen, I guess.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
Y'all far on my back, deep squat, all that, working
my way up to my dead lifts again.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
You know what I'm saying. That's because you have enough
t stom true, yes, so we should keep it up.
I've gained three pounds of muscle over the past four months,
but I've lost but I've lost three inches on my waist.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
You did have your fitting and you were on the scale,
which is crazy to me because I with the way
I've been training lately. Right, I've been doing a lot
more protein because it's a fact too that women typically
don't eat as much protein as men or in general. Right,
I've been doubling down on my protein. So I will
eat a big mac at night with the val but
(17:45):
that's after drinking a couple of egg whites during the
day and being on my I forgot the name that
Tripple dubbed me now after gust on the female version
from Beauty and the Beasts about chugging my egg whites,
She's just like you, you're a little meat head vibes.
I'm like, I am, but I'll do that because I
know I want to have my big mag at the
end of the day.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
So many sexual windows I could have gone there. I
just let you rock out though, because it was just
too easy. You caught yourself a meathead. You take meat
to the head, you'd be deep throating egg whites, getting
heavy protein. Listen, I'm loving this for you. Be healthy,
be healthy, you feel me, be healthy.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Had all that to say that I was on the
scale maybe like two weeks ago, I want to say
before you definitely.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
I think that was when I was going to Cabo.
So it's like two or three weeks ago before Sweden
too on.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
The scale and I said it was at one fifty seven, right,
ideally in my mind when I'm thinking about a number,
even though I try not to pay too much attention
to the scale because again, you're trying to outfit. I've
tried on so many outfits over the course of the
past few weeks, and I'm like, this didn't fit me
before this up and now it's just zipping right up.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Right.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
So, having done all that, I was at one fifty seven.
My goal ideal weight was between one forty five and
one fifty. I got on the scale this morning after
eating soup we're clean for the past couple of days
and taking down a ton of protein.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
I'm at one sixty three.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Big.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
How did I get up?
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Big?
Speaker 2 (19:08):
How did I gain five pounds?
Speaker 3 (19:10):
But then you know, muscle they say weighs more than fat,
so I'd like to think that I'm burning the fat
gaining the muscle. I'm all legs for the most part,
posterior chain and I love that for.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Me and for you.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Oh, I love it.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Yeah, So I don't get caught up in like the
weight and the number.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Weight, like that weight don't really matter and like.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Laying my face now too, do y'all see it?
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:34):
You look?
Speaker 2 (19:34):
You look trying to get popping again.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
According to these facts and stats, the easiest way to change,
the easiest change you can make to your diet to
lose belly fat is to eat enough protein, which that
you just talked about. Your protein makes you full, make
you feel full faster period. Adding vinegard to your diet
can increase weight loss. One study found that a mere
fifteen to thirty milli leads one to two tablespools of
vinegar daily reduce his body weight, belly fat, and waste
(20:00):
circumference over a three month period. According to one study,
adding vinegar to your diet will reduce your daily caloric
intake by two hundred and seventy five calories.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
That's the fact.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
I used to do shots of apple sided vinegurance in
the morning.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
But be careful with that, y'all.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
Make sure that when you do drink it now and
you brush your teeth right after or rinse your mouth.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Teeth. Yep.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
While it may seem counterintuitive, eating healthy fats can help
burn belly fat by making you feel full of faster,
which mitigates the risk of future weight gain. That's what
people say keto is or the Atkins diet. But it
also makes weight loss easier because you will be less
tempted to overreach. Try adding fatty food to your diets,
such as fatty tuna, salmon, almonds, olive oil, and whole milk.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
I love a quarter avocado. That's also really good. Yes,
you do have peanut butter two.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Another simple change you can make to burn belly fat
is to make healthier beverage choices. Drinking more water is
also wow, Josh, Wow, Josh, y'all heard that. I hope
we keep all of this stuff in here, so y'all
can hear what be going on here? Doing this podcast
to feel like.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
You're in the room, so you clearly are getting all
the room tones.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Yeah, triubled with slamming toys on the ground, kicking our
kids toys. They're going off now, Josh here taking phone
calls in the middle of the podcast sorright.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
He's watching YouTube.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Okay, drink Drinking more water is always a good idea,
especially since often especially since often we mistake thirst for hunger.
You've been drinking a ship of water.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
It's true, y'all. It's true. And it's to the point
now where my I feel feel like my my palette
is starting to shift where I will. I can't even
drink juice like I used to, even some wines like
things like that.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
I can't.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Is it either too sweet or certain foods or too salty.
Now it's like when you start to kind of train
your body and train your mind. But again, I don't
deprive myself. Like I said, I'm gonna eat the big bag.
I'm gonna eat the rice crispy treat all.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
If I'm gonna let you finish, and the barbecue chips
Kanye west'nna let you finish. But this is about my bee.
Yeah sorry, And this is for the gentleman. Is for
the gentleman, because I also get a lot of dms
from men and women, women asking me, Hey, I want
my husband to get back in shape. What can I
do to help him feel the need or want to
(22:17):
get back in shape without offending him. And then I
get it from men too, just like yo, what's your
workout plan? So realistically, there are a lot of people
who are asking for men as well, but we don't
talk about it a lot. Like you said before, it's
always seemed like the own this is always on women
to like snap back right, and it's almost like dad bodes.
And there was also a picture that came out on
(22:38):
Instagram of a man and his girl and she was
just like before we started dating and now that we're engaged.
And in the first part he had a six pack
and he was smiling, and in the second part he
didn't have a six pack no more. He was smiling,
and people were just like, oh, you can tell he's happy.
But here's the thing. Come, why is it okay for
a man to fall out of shape? And they say
(22:59):
it's because he's had But if a woman does it,
it's like, nah, she got to keep herself together for
her man. And the truth of the matter is is
that this idea that women don't mind you falling out
of shape when you're happy is not real. It's not
like some women like a different type of man in
the way they look and I'm not talking about those women.
I'm talking about the women who met a man who
was in shape in the gym all the time, and
(23:21):
now he chooses not to go anymore because he'd rather
be at home and be with his girl, which I understand.
But that woman still wants you to look the way
that she saw you, the way she fell in love
with you, the way she lusted for you. And I
think it's okay for men to be like, nah, I'm
keeping myself up because I want my wife to still
look at me that way. I am not gonna lie
to you. Yo. When I had gained weight and kind
(23:42):
of got out of shape and looked at myself in
the mirror, I didn't like the way I looked. I
just didn't feel strapping. I didn't feel like it's gonna
sound crazy, but I didn't feel like a protector, right.
I felt like a little soft, like if somebody came
in the house and I had to wrest with some
guys for something, I would lose, you know what I'm saying.
So I was like, I gotta get back into my bag,
(24:03):
and I want to talk to the gentleman and be like, yo,
it is okay to get back in your bag. It
is okay to take an hour out of your day
every day and be like, yo, baby, you got the kids,
or it's just you. I gotta go to the gym,
or if you got a gym downstairs, or if you're
gonna go run or ride a bike or take a
swim or jump rope. You need that, gentlemen, you need that,
and more importantly than just the way you look, you
(24:24):
need that to be present for your family as you
get older. Like watching my pops the way he was,
I was like, I never seen my father look this
week before. And he's changed his lifestyle around. He eats
differently and he's lost weight. But I was just like,
I could have lost my dad. I have friends who've
lost their dads. I have friends who I've lost you know.
(24:44):
I have a buddy of mine who just recently had
a stroke, Bake, who played He was a world class athlete.
He played for the Redskins, just recently had a stroke
and he's chronicling his comeback after the stroke. And Bake
is thirty seven. You know what I'm saying, Men have
to do a better job of taking our health into
our own hands. And it starts with those simple things.
(25:06):
Drink more water, get your ass up, and at least
walk twenty minutes every day.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
It's the little changes.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
I'm gonna tell y'all those little changes, and that's great,
a great message for men. I think women can pull
from it too. It's taking the small steps that then
become bigger steps. That's how it was for me, because
everyone knows I've said it before, consistency was never my thing.
When it came to the gym and being out there
working out and eating and writing any of that, it
just wasn't. I think part of the motivation for me
(25:33):
was just knowing, Okay, I know I was in the
trenches pregnant with the last baby. When I'm finally out
of the postpartum woods, which is around eighteen months for me, now,
it's like, okay, things start to set in. But then
there's also me knowing that internally I need to be
fighting against or preventing myself from getting those hereditary running
the family type things like the diabetes and the hygh
(25:53):
pertension and all that. It's easy to just start with
each other, like Deval and I have some of the
best time together when we block out, you know, hour
and a half during the day we go to the
gym and sometimes we're not side by side doing the
same workouts at the same time. But it's kind of
knowing that you have a gym buddy there, you know,
somebody that can just kind of check you. Devo will
come make sure I'm doing the right things, and you know,
(26:15):
just having the camaraderie. We have some good times together
just going to the gym now and that was never
a thing for me. So it's become a change in
the mindset, changing the lifestyle and doing it together. That's
been great.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Look at you smiling a smiling because like it's so
funny how we always say we over me, but it
really comes back to we over me. Right when you
weren't feeling like yourself, going through postpartum, going through all
of these things, it was like, if I get go
to the gym with her, do this with her, make
her feel blah blah blah blah blah. But now as
a man, I'm going through my you know, phase of
(26:46):
where I'm seeing my body change a little bit and
I want to be more healthier and things aren't the
same for me. And it's like when Kay was just
like babe let's go to the gym. She got her
tights on, and I'm like, all right, let's go. Like
it does make me feel a little bit more like
I want to do it if I know you're doing
and you lost a ton of weight over the last
four months, and watching you do that, that inspired me
(27:09):
because I don't want to be the dadbod while you
on the beach when we're on vacation. Like a lot
of insecurities that come from men comes from us watching
our bodies change. Men don't like to talk about this stuff.
I don't give a fuck. Right, everybody knows I'm thinning.
That's a part of life, right, I'm thinning. What are
you going to do as a man to help prevent
(27:30):
your life from just going away from you? And you
can't see it? Right, So for me dealing with the
thinning and stuff like that, people just like, well, why
don't you just let it go and go bald? I
don't mind doing that, you know what I'm saying. I don't.
Part of the issue is I play a character on
TV that has hair, so I have to maintain a
certain level of hair while I'm on television. That doesn't
(27:53):
mean that when you wake up in the morning and
you realize that your hair is thinning, and my hair
has been thin for about six years now, that you
don't feel away as a man, right, I've already been contemplating, like,
you know what if I cut all my hair off
and I go with beard, that's also a good look.
You know what I'm saying. I could be bored with
a beard.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
I'm not a hat guy. Yeah, but I say all
this to say to gentlemen, like, as you watch your
youth go away the same way women watch, it's okay
to say I want to maintain my youth. I want
to maintain a certain measure of confidence in myself. The
gym is always the right way to start, Like, the
gym is always the right way to start, mainly because
(28:29):
the endorphins that you get and you produce from going
to the gym just make you feel better. You go
to gym, you come back, You're like, I just I
did that. Like what's what's next? Like, let me go
pink started the house, Let me let me fix the gutters,
you know, let me let me you know, the transmission
needs to be fixed. I value you have an electric Porsche.
I'm gonna change the battery on it. Like you just
want to do stuff because the endorphins.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
You know, though, Remember when I came back from Toronto
and I was just like, yo, aside from missing you,
I was like, man, I hadn't worked out in like
three days. I think we were juggling the kids in Toronto.
You were filming. I didn't have a chance, any chance
really to get to get a good workout in. And
I came home and I was like, Yo, I feel like.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Crap, crap. Yeah, I remember, and I was.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Like, well, what's the last time you worked out? And
I was like, you know what, I haven't worked out
for like a good three days. Yep, got my ass up,
went to the gym. Instant mood shifts, so you felt good.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
It was like instant. It was like taking an energy drink.
It was just it was. It was insane.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Speaking of taking energy drinks, this is not one of
the facts and stats, but this is also something I've learned,
even from being a workout gout. If you become dependent
on energy drinks to get you to workouts and through workouts,
when you don't have them energy drinks, your body crashes
and it's almost like you become dependent, and it can
also lead to depression if you don't feel that spark
(29:42):
on the day you're not working out. I've noticed that
with a lot of Yeah, with a lot of my
my friends who use energy drinks or they used them.
I never got into energy drinks like the endorphins, and
the high I got was from just going and you know,
let's go, ET's building myself up. So I never had
that issue. But this is also a fact that that's
not on here. But your testosterone really does start to
(30:03):
drop at a certain age. Right, there is no one
age where all the testosterone drops for men, but your
testops from does start to drop. What people don't know
is that you can continue to boost your testosterone by
doing certain key exercises, which is why I came went
to the chiropractor last night, and the chiropractor was like,
you still squat, You're still deadlift, Like why, Like why
would you do that? What are you training for? Was
(30:24):
like life?
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Life?
Speaker 1 (30:31):
You are you are so invested in this wife life
training for backshots. I fucking love it. Your nasty girl,
you are so nasty, but I love it. But I
still do squats and dead listen, I'm not training for backshots.
I'm training to give backshots. That's why I also do
hip thrusts, but doing squats and deadlifts right and one
(30:52):
of the the well two of the largest muscle groups
in your body your back, your poster of your chain,
your legs, your glutes, your hamstrings. When you work out
those areas, your body pushes testosterone through to help you
rebuild those muscles back. So the more weights you lift
more consistently, if you do it properly and healthily, you
can continue to increase your testosterone output as a man.
(31:17):
That's why when you see dudes who are in the
gym and they're like in their forties and fifties and
they're still like chasing after these young girls, it's because
their testosterone is still pumping because they didn't get into
the rut of oh, now i'm thirty, I gotta slow down.
So many men get into this rut when they like,
I just turned thirty, on my back gonna start hurting
on my knees, so they stop working out as much,
(31:38):
and then every it's like a self fulfilling prophecy you
told yourself when you are thirty. Stuff is gonna hurt,
so you stop working out. So your muscles got weaker,
your joints got a little bit more weaker. Everything is sore.
And now you're thirty five and it's getting worse. Now
your testosteron's dropping, so when you start to get back
into workout, it's that much harder. Now you're forty. Now
your hair's falling out because your testosterone is dropped. You
(32:00):
got a belly. And that's that depressing phase that men
get into if they don't keep it up. And I
wanted to talk about this because that happens to all
of us. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. It does
the same way. You can get on here and talk
about being depressed because of childbirth sometimes and postpartum depression.
I can honestly say, as a man, you wake up
in the morning and you look at yourself. You've been
(32:21):
going NonStop for years to feed your family, and you're tired,
and you look at your eyes, and your eyes are
dark and puffy, and you just don't look the youthful
self anymore. You know. You look in the mirror and
now you got more gray hairs in your beard and
in your hair, and then parts of your hair is thinner,
and you're just like, what is happening to me?
Speaker 3 (32:39):
And some of it you think it's just like stresses
of life, Like, oh, y, stresses of life. Because with women,
I think we can pinpoint certain times when we have
those ships i e. Pregnancy, you know, menstruation, all that
we have like certain moments when we pinpoint it. And
then usually men are just like we look at you'all like, oh, well,
y'all never have any changes because y'all never go through
those really, you know, big changes in the hormones and
(32:59):
all that because you don't carry children. But I can't
take for granted that you don't just have natural changes
that happen over the course of your life. Just as
you age and depending on what you have going on
in life.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
We have changes to we go through. We don't have
like a post partum depression phase or a prenatal phase.
We don't have a menstrual phase. That people have created
a leniency in a space for women to go through
that and have those discussions from men, it's like, y'all
don't go through nothing, so be a man and deal
with it. But I'm telling you right now that's why
I wanted to talk about this is that men do
(33:32):
go through this. Like I got friends that we're all
middle aged, we're all going to be forty, we're all
turning forty this year, are going to be forty next year,
and all of the topics of conversations are hairlines, male pattern, baldness,
body weight gain, performance in the bedroom. That's another thing, gentlemen,
if you knew how much your libido would sustain by
(33:55):
working out, I guarantee you would work out. Had a
young lady DM me and say hey, just send me
this long thing and say I know I would ask
you this question because I see you and don't mind
being honest. But her husband has been struggling with a
rectile dysfunction. This could have been a listener letter was
struggling with a rectile dysfunction when he turned thirty five,
(34:19):
and she was just like, you know, like, what is
it me? She hard question was is it me? As
a woman? Am I not turning him on enough? Like
she was pretty much she's putting it on herself, like
something's wrong with me, the same way I put it
on myself when your sex drive wasn't as high, not
knowing that it was birth control and Postparliament, and I'm
(34:40):
just like, what's wrong with deval? She did the same thing,
and you know, as I do sometimes and I'm not
telling you all this to do this, but sometimes I
get DMS and I respond with give me a phone call,
or we'll text people back and forth, and I'd be like,
I really want to help some people. So I was
just like, yo, like what is his workout plan? And
the first thing she said was workout? He don't work out.
(35:02):
Now she's older in him, So what is she in? Oh,
she's in her forties. She's in her forties and she
works out. She's had I think I think she said
she had three kids and she got into this work.
I think after having her last child, because she was
just like, I want to get my body back, because
she said she started following us. She followed your journey.
(35:24):
But he can't keep up. He's thirty five. He's suffering
from erect out dysfunction. Some days of good days, some
days are not good days. He was taking the pain
medication for blood pressure. She I was about to say,
you see what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
Blood pressure medication will completely take it away.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
So I said, the issue to me, doesn't sound like,
it's just the working out. If he's taking blood pressure
medication is probably because his health is off, so he's
taking the medication to subsidize that. And now that's messing
with his libido, which is why most black men don't
like taking blood pressure medication because it affects your libido
and they're like, you're not going to take away my manhood,
(36:00):
and then they end up having issues with health because
you don't want to take.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
Them because they don't take it.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
Yeah, and it's like a viciousious cycle.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
And when she issue, say one more time putting band
aids over gun wounds, can't hear you can't heal a
gun wound with a band aid. You gotta first take
the bullet out. And you got to heal a womb.
You can't just put a band aid over it. So
she was like, Okay, thank you for the advice. I'll
work with him on it. She gives me updates. She
(36:30):
said he stopped taking the blood pressure medication, but he
changed his dyet. He watches his salt intake and his
sugar intake and he goes to see the doctormal offering
so that they can manage it without him taking the medication,
So he found a doctor who was willing to work
with him to do those things. After he stopped, he
checked his blood pressure, he stopped taking a medication, his
(36:53):
libido started to come back. As his libido started to
come back, he didn't like the way he looked like
he was naked, so he started going to the gym
with her. He started to lose some weight and now
she was like they started to get back to the
way they were. But the whole point of the story
is there are things we as men go through that
we don't ever express to our wives. Right. For example,
(37:16):
We're going to do a whole other podcast on this.
Some of the regret, Now, no I don't want to
drop this on you, but some of the regret I
feel about having a esected me. Right, Men, we don't
discuss that with our wives. I do, and we can
do a whole we can do a whole podcast. Yeah,
(37:39):
we'll do a whole podcast on it. And it's not
it's not a regret towards you, like you made me
do it. I am still one hundred percent in agreement
that I should have been the one to do it,
and I did it because you sacrifice so much for me,
but there still is a little bit of peace in me,
just like damn, I can't have kids no more. And
I never thought that I would feel that way. Yeah,
you know what I'm saying. I never thought that way.
(37:59):
But we'll we'll have a whole podcast on it, cause
I want to unpack that in how I've been trying
to work through that journey, because I know men feel
like that too, but they don't never express it, and
it's like we're never there's never a place for us
where we can talk about this. I do want to
talk about it.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
Okay, we'll do that.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
But having this conversation was about health, but also telling
the man it's okay to be vain and say that
you also want to be young and stay young. You
want to stay in that twenty two to twenty five
range where the minute you wake up, your dick just
hard for no reason. You know what I'm saying. You
can't even pee in the toilet because you dig just hard,
like when you twenty two, matter of fact, eighteen, from
(38:36):
eighteen to like twenty five, it's like no matter what
you did, gonna be hard. Like you start falling asleep
in class and you wake up middle class, like want
my dick card. I'm tired, Like what the fuck is happening?
Like that? That goes away if you don't continue to
move like you're that age. That's why I'm excited that
I have sons. I work out with him every single day.
Speaker 3 (38:55):
Oh man, They're gonna keep you on your toil. Man,
I do the whole family affair over here.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Cairo gonna want to and work. He wants to work out.
He wants me to work out with him. Then Caves
was like, Daddy, can you get in the pool and
swim with me? Then Jackson is you know, can you
take me to shoot? And I'm every day I'm just moving, moving,
And the more I've dedicated myself to my family, I've
noticed the more weight that I've lost in, the better
I look. So I wanted to I'm gonna say some
(39:22):
things my moment of truth, but I did want to
tell you that the reason why I picked that Rocky
theme is because I'm fighting. I'm fighting. I'm in this
battle to be exactly who it is you lusted for
and you fell in love. I'm fighting to be that
person still. So I got you, baby, I got you.
Speaker 3 (39:40):
Where you can stand on. I'm over here working too.
You want, baby, I got receipts. I got receipts. All right,
y'all to take a quick break and we're gonna jump
into listen to Maybe I'll do one since we already
kind of did one with that story you gave about. Yeah,
so we'll keep it short for letters this time, and
we will get back to it.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
We good, I'll wait for you. You good, all right? Well, yeah,
do what you gotta do, bro. Yeah, that's right, that's green.
Speaker 3 (40:36):
Actually, all right, all right, ready, I'll do the second
one because the first one is kind of like we've
spoke about fitness stuff already. All right, we're back and
we're gonna do one listener letter just because we kind
of went through a story with the young lady that
(40:58):
you've been dming and stuff. So here we are. I've
been in a long distance relationship for six months. My
boyfriend recently moved here with me. I went through his
phone and found some disturbing text messages along with the
video ooh. Although the video has a date and time,
he's still denying it. He says that I'm focused on
the wrong aspect of our relationship, but I believe our
(41:20):
relationship was built on deception. He left his family, kids,
and job to be with me. But I can't get
over what I saw. What would you do in my situation? Well, girl,
what'd you see?
Speaker 1 (41:33):
Fuck that? Like? Why would you want to be with
somebody who would leave their kids, family, in job?
Speaker 4 (41:39):
Like?
Speaker 1 (41:40):
Clearly his priorities are not in order, Like I don't
give a shit. I'm not leaving my kids for nothing,
Like I don't care, Like you could be the worst
person in the world. Could you could? You could right,
and there could be another woman who would be perfect
for me. Ma'am, you're gonna have to take me with
these kids. I'm not leaving my kids for nobody.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
Guess that same.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
That's all I saw in this all the other stuff
to me, don't marry anybody who's willing to leave his
family and kids and not for nothing. He got a
family and kids and jobs. Was you a side chick
before that?
Speaker 3 (42:12):
That's what it's giving? Long distance for six months? Did
you not know that he was in a relationship? But
I'm not sure. I'm not sure what the video is
or the text messages that you.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
Tried were disturbed deception.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
Clearly his wife like I'm just being honest, Like, what
are we waiting? Right?
Speaker 3 (42:27):
Well, I don't know if he was married, but he
left his family, kids and everything. So if you hid
dry left him, then there was definitely something going on
that you were then an additive too.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
This is what is given only, and I don't judge people,
you know, I don't judge on the paragraph that she sent.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
Girl.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
It is giving that she was a side chick and
he left his family and his wife, probably because his
wife caught him his dumb ass with a picture in
the video of her, So he left them and went
to go be with her and forgot to delete the
stuff with his wife is a dumb mess right, and
(43:02):
got caught with his side check. But she's only and
she was probably deceived because she probably didn't know he
had a She knows he had a wife because you know,
he had kids and.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
A job and it was period. Can you send us
a follow up a little more detail.
Speaker 3 (43:16):
I want to know what the video was and the
text messages because I'm partners and I part need more
context to give you some sound advice because I don't
know what I would do in your situations after this,
or bro, I don't know who wrote in here, but
it's giving very much like we need more details, so
sending a dundum.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
I will say this though, even without the details, I
would not be with anybody who left their kids to
be with me. I don't care. She could be the
most beautiful woman in the world, right it could be
you right now. And if he was like the villa,
I love you, but I have four kids at home
with it, I'd be like, well, you need to go
be a mom, Like you can't be with me and
not be with them kids and asks to be here.
Fact to me, that's that's first and foremost that kids here.
Speaker 2 (43:56):
Pull up with the kids at least, right, pull up
with the kids.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
I'll take you with the kids, like I'm on the.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
Job to like you just dropped everything.
Speaker 1 (44:04):
With the kids and your job, the job. What we're
not gonna do is be unemployed.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
No unemployed, but we're together together. This is going to
pay these bills.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
So that's what she should have said, don't leave your
kids all your job.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
You can come and bring all of those in to Yeah,
let's get let's get some more context here.
Speaker 3 (44:22):
Isn't that that's the one that we circle back, But
we'll circle we'll spend the block on that one when
we get more details. All right, y'all, keep writing in
listening to letters. Very good time. We love y'all again,
no judgment. We're just gonna give you the two cents
because you asked so. Email us at the advice at
gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
That's D E A D A S S A D
V I C E at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
Moment of truth time. I think mine is pretty simple.
Do you have one? Mine is is.
Speaker 3 (44:49):
Fight fight for yourself, fight for your family, fight for
your spouse, fight for your health, fight for the things
that matter, because ultimately you're in control of that and
no one can do it but you. Because ultimately, Deval
has always been, over the course of our twenty years,
either the inspiration for me to want to work out.
Speaker 2 (45:11):
He's been the motivation. He's been the drill sergeant.
Speaker 3 (45:13):
He's been the kick in the ass, he's been the
accountability partner, he's been a lot of things, a lot
of different roles. The fact that he's even still here
with me on this journey to this healthy lifestyle, it's commendable.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
Give yourself some credit, because no, it's.
Speaker 2 (45:25):
Commendable because I got that.
Speaker 3 (45:28):
I gave you a hard way to go a lot
of times, and ultimately you only had my best interest
at heart every single time, and you knew my body.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
Better in your thighs that far.
Speaker 3 (45:39):
That part you true did, but you were just ultimately
holding me accountable to the things that I wanted. But
it didn't happen until I wanted to fight for myself.
Fight for yourself first and foremost, and you'll be surprised
at how so many other aspects of your life improve
when you put your health first and you invest in that.
(46:00):
Your mood, clarity of mind, the way your body functions,
your quality of sleep, just so many different things skin here.
I mean, there's so many benefits to just taking care
of yourself. So if it means that much to you,
if your family means that much to you, fight yep,
because we're not getting any younger. Getting older is inevitable,
(46:23):
and you don't want the responsibility to then be placed
on your family members to have to take care of
you when you're in a position where you can't do
it for yourself. So start, start somewhere, Start now.
Speaker 2 (46:34):
Period.
Speaker 1 (46:35):
I feel you. Those are great words, thanks, actually really
really great words. My moment of truth is this my
man's don't lose yourself, yo, Stop making excuses for not
doing what's right for you. Your family can't be your
excuse for you not doing what's right for you, because
(46:56):
ultimately then you're not doing right for your family if
you can't be here them, work out, drink water, get sleep,
love yourself. I got one question before we go. Yeah,
is it a fact that women want their men to
look a certain way? Is that a fact for me? Yes?
(47:19):
For me, yes, feel a way when men lose themselves
in relationships, like when they don't look the same.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Way, I would think so. I would absolutely think so.
Speaker 1 (47:28):
The reason why I'm saying that is because this idea
that men get to just go bald and get fat
and be lazy and still have a wife and kids
and take care of them is okay. It's not okay.
It's not okay. We have obligations that we require of
the women that we love. It is okay that they
have obligations for us. You love that woman and she
(47:50):
wants you to look a certain way, and you chose
to be with her and ask her for her hand
in marriage, own up to that obligation. Do what you
have to do. Like a thing said, and fight to
be everything that your wife, or your girlfriend or your
baby mother wants you to be, so that you can
be a better version of yourself for you and your kids.
Don't let the depression go unheard. We all go through it.
(48:12):
We all wake up one morning look at ourselves and like, dang,
I do not look the way I used to look,
the more we all go through it.
Speaker 3 (48:17):
Yes, fight for it, for it, go get it d
with your partner, whatever your partner looks like.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
Do it all right, y'all.
Speaker 3 (48:24):
Be sure to follow us on Patreon to see exclusive
dead Ass Podcasts video.
Speaker 2 (48:29):
Thank y'all for watching.
Speaker 3 (48:30):
If you are and you can find us on social media,
follow our Instagram page. We do lots of chatting and
stuff there as well. Dead Ass to the podcast and
you can find me on my social media page Kadean
I am.
Speaker 1 (48:42):
And I am Deval And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts,
be sure to rate, review and subscribe.
Speaker 3 (48:48):
Keep doing that, y'all. We love you, dead Ass. Now
get that ass up.
Speaker 1 (48:53):
Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network, and
it's produced by Donor Opinion and Triple Follow the podcast
on social media at dead Ass the podcast and never
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