March 3, 2025 ⢠23 mins
đ§ Episode Overview
đĽ Nobody is coming to save you. Itâs on YOU.
Doug Ferrier had every reason to quit. Rock bottom hit hardâstanding on a rooftop, staring over the edge, feeling like he had no way out. But instead of stepping off, he stepped up. He turned his pain into purpose, his struggles into strength, and is now coaching blue-collar warriors to take ownership of their lives.
This episode of Grace in the Grind is NOT for the weak. If youâre tired of excuses, if youâre stuck in your own head, if you feel like life keeps knocking you downâthis is your wake-up call.
đĽ Inside this conversation, we unpack:
â How rock bottom forces you to make a choiceâstay stuck or rise.
â The biggest mindset shift Doug made to go from victim to leader.
â How forgiveness isnât weaknessâitâs your greatest power move.
â The âBlue Collar Gritâ habits that build discipline, resilience, and success.
â Why NO ONE is coming to save youâso itâs time to step up.
đ If youâre DONE waiting for life to happen and ready to take control, press play.
đ Watch on YouTube & Subscribe! www.leadwithjim.live
đĄ Key Takeaways from This Episode
đ´ Rock Bottom is a Choice
- You can stay there, or you can fight back. Doug hit his lowest point, but he realized that no one was going to save him.
- Your worst moment can be your greatest turning pointâIF you own it.
đ´ Own It or Stay Stuck
- Waiting for someone else to fix your life? STOP.
- Your circumstances donât define you. Your response does.
- Youâre either the extra in your life⌠or the main character.
đ´ The Grit-Driven Mindset Shift
- Small daily disciplines create unstoppable resilience.
- Presence over perfection. Show up, even when youâre not ready.
- Forgiveness isnât about themâitâs about YOUR freedom.
đ´ Faith, Grit & The Fight Forward
- Faith isnât just beliefâitâs action. You have to walk it out.
- The moment Doug shifted from âWhy is this happening to me?â to âWhat can I do about it?ââeverything changed.
- Success isnât given. Itâs TAKEN.
đ Resources & Links Mentioned
đ Dougâs Book & Resources:
đ Website: Doug's Website
đ˛ Instagram: @douglas_ferrier on Instagram
đ¸ Facebook: Doug's Facebook page
đ Further Learning:
- Mindset Shifts for Entrepreneurial Resilience
- Tony Robbins & John Maxwell: Ownership Hacks for Success
đŻ Take the Next Step!
đĄ If youâre done making excuses and ready to take ownership, connect with Doug:...
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Welcome to Grace and theGrind, the podcast where we dive
deep into the journeys ofheart centered and purpose driven
leaders and entrepreneurs.
We're here to equip andencourage you on your journey.
So let's get started and findthe grace within the grind.
This is Grace in the Grind.
And now your host, Jim Burgoon.
(00:25):
Welcome to Grace in the Grind.
We're here to tell the storybehind the story of some of success
of the most successful entrepreneurs.
To inspire you to keep moving,keep going, and to do all that God's
called you to.
And today I have a really dearfriend of mine.
Doug.
Welcome to the show.
Hey, Jim.
Thank you.
I appreciate the warm welcomeand the opportunity to be here.
Yeah, man, I think we're gonnahave a great conversation today.
(00:47):
But before we do, take 30 to90 seconds to just tell the audience
who you are and what you do.
So I'm Doug, the blue collarcoach Farrier.
I work with blue collar workers.
Mostly I lead them fromfeeling like they're lacking self
awareness and accountabilityto owning and elevating their life
and their business.
One of some of the things wedo is we work on your habits.
(01:09):
Let's get some better habitsgoing because your habits have helped
form your days.
We work on the mindset, owningyourself, owning your life, owning
your days.
And then I have this greatproprietary software that I use to
help businesses increase theirprofits and just find ways to streamline
the business.
Awesome.
Thank you for that.
And guys, as you always know,for you guys who have been listening
to the show, we will have alot of different things in the show
(01:31):
notes.
So make sure at some point youcheck the show notes for any links
or any things like that.
So, Doug, let's dig into someof your story.
Blue collar coach, I love that.
What does that look like?
Like, how did you become theblue collar coach?
As some people have heard mystory, back in 2014, I was working
in a blue collar industry.
I have most of my life and Ihit one of my breaking points.
(01:55):
It was my deepest rock bottomfrom an emotional standpoint.
And I stood the edge of aroof, not really seeing a way out
of this hole that I was in,this emotional black hole that I
had put myself in.
And I look over there to theroof and I saw a way out.
But instead of taking thatstep forward, I stepped back and
I decided to do the inner workand start healing myself.
And when I did that, one ofthe things I discovered was that
(02:17):
I wasn't alone.
In fact, men in the bluecollar industries have the highest
Rate of taking their own lives.
And that hit deep for mebecause I've lost some dear friends,
family that way.
And I want to make adifference in people's lives.
So you just, you have a lot there.
We can unpack and so you're ona rooftop.
(02:38):
But you said, put myself inthat black hole.
How did you put yourself there?
What does that look like?
Here's the funny thing.
Up until that point, I didn'tput myself there.
I would never label it that way.
It was everything around meput me there.
Okay, I.
I lost my dad at 12 years oldto cancer.
I didn't just lose him.
I was standing beside his bedwhen they turned off life support
(03:00):
machine.
And I had a negative feelingfrom that.
And I carried a negativeemotion with that, tied negative
emotion to that.
And I refused to find anypositive in it.
And it was all these differentevents that happened to me in my
life caused by other people,and I just buried everything.
And I realized, you know what?
I talk about this in my book.
(03:21):
I'm not directing my life.
I'm merely an extra in my life.
I'm not even a main characterright now.
I'm just an extra being toldwhat to do.
So I realized that my lack ofcommitment to my own life, my lack
of action, lack of ownership,had put me in this hole that I needed
to get out of.
It was time to turn that around.
And.
Yeah, so what was one of thedefining moments of that?
(03:43):
So.
So as I'm hearing the story,you know, you're like, you're the
environment, the situations,put you in this place.
Not a main character.
Want to be a main character.
What were some of the keymoments that caused breakthrough?
The big three on that route,there's three big things that.
That stood out to me.
The first one was my son, 16years old.
Here I am leading him as aman, showing him how to be a man.
(04:06):
And I questioned my integrityas a man at that moment, because
the situation I put myself inthere was my daughter who years before
I had this great memory oftaking her to Walmart to buy her
first bicycle.
And as we're walking through,she's ringing the bell saying, look
out, bike coming through.
I questioned again my manhoodand my fatherhood, and I had a bit
of a pull from my kids to bethere for them.
(04:29):
And then I remembered thepassing of my father and what that
did to me, how that impactedmy life.
And that was my defining moment.
No more.
I'm not going to allow that tobe the legacy that I Leave for my
kids.
I'm not going to create thatlegacy for them.
Powerful.
Go ahead, continue.
Yeah.
And from that moment forward,I just.
I decided it was time to live.
(04:49):
Time to own my life and to live.
And I recalled that when I wasyounger and I got into these hot
spots when my dad passed away.
I was raised Catholic.
And when my dad passed away, I.
I denounced God.
I actually, like, I denounced him.
I.
I had beef with him.
I was ready to go toe to toewith him.
I was so mad.
But then when I got into timesof trouble as a teenager, getting
arrested, things like that, Iremember praying and my situation
(05:13):
changing.
Not even a year before I stoodon the edge of that roof, I got a
tattoo that takes up half myback, and it's a cross with angel's
wings.
And I knew that I need to leanback into my faith a bit, at least
a little bit, to help steer mein a better direction.
Do you find that?
Now, I've got two lines ofquestioning here, so we're going
to follow one and go back andswing back to the other one, because
(05:34):
this is great stuff.
And before I get to the faithone, because the faith one I want
to definitely dive into andthe ramifications of, obviously,
the tattoo leading into the roof.
But there's two.
There's something you saidearlier and then something that you
had.
We had talked about.
You said what was done to me,the environment and things.
And then you came back andsaid what I did to myself.
(05:54):
And so I want to know.
I want to push into that alittle bit further because there
seems to be almost an inconsistency.
Was it your choices thatcaused all of your feelings?
Or was your thought processof, hey, this is just happening to
me, I accept it.
Help me understand that process.
So there's a combination.
There's obviously events thatwe have no control over what's.
(06:15):
But we do have control overhow we respond to them.
It's our responsibility, ourability to respond.
However, at the time, I wasnot taking that responsibility seriously.
So things would happen whetherit was my cause or not, and I didn't
want to own it.
And then as I started to make the.
To do the inner work and makethe changes, I was more willing to
(06:36):
own it.
And interestingly enough, whenI was a teenager, I owned everything.
I didn't care, didn't nothingphased me.
I owned everything.
And then I got to the pointwhere I stopped owning it.
I started blaming outsidesources, and then I went back to
owning it.
So what do you find thatBecause I know this is going to be
a lot of things the listeneris dealing with in some of this.
(06:59):
Because there is this hugetemptation to blame everything else
for my feelings.
And I like the transparencyand just the rawness that you're
sharing is I owned it.
I didn't own it.
I owned it.
Didn't own it.
Now I'm owning it again.
Love that.
So what were some of thefactors that helped you re reconnect
with owning it?
What were some of those factors?
(07:19):
Was it just the kids or werethere more happening?
The kids started it.
That was the.
That's what got its motion.
And then it was realizingthat, you know what, everything is
possible in this life.
I can achieve whatever I wantas long as I'm willing to own everything.
Everything I had up to thatpoint was a direct result of choices
I'd made before.
(07:40):
So I knew that if I wanted tohave more, I needed to be more and
I needed to own it all.
I started doing the researchand studying high performers and
people that came before me,Personal development, all that stuff.
You know, the greats, TonyRobbins, Brendan Burchard, John Maxwell.
I.
I started sending all of them,trying to figure out how I could
improve my life.
And one of the big things thatI saw was a lot of ownership.
(08:02):
Yeah, definitely.
All right, so then, now let'sgo to the roof.
Yeah.
Okay.
So were you owning it beforethe roof, or was it post roof experience?
Rooftop experience.
Did you start owning things?
What does that look like for you?
It was on the roof when Istarted owning it.
So I literally stepped awayfrom the edge.
I sat on my bucket of tools,put my head in my hands, raised my
(08:25):
head up, and I looked around,and there was nobody there.
I was by myself, and it was inthat moment I realized that nobody
was coming to save me.
And I finally understood whatit meant when people say, nobody's
coming to save you.
I had lots of people thatcared about me, but if I wasn't willing
to do the work and willing tomake the changes, it didn't matter
how much people cared andloved me.
(08:47):
Oh, wow, man.
Thank you for unpacking that alittle bit.
Because you're like, I lookedaround and, dude.
So you just came to yoursenses while you're up on the roof?
Yeah, I was just thinking itwas a light switch.
Thank God that you did.
I'm great.
I'm grateful for the last yearof our friendships.
I'm glad you did step away.
And all the input, impactyou're going to make in the blue
Collar world.
All right, so now we have thisstory developing.
(09:08):
We have where you're owningthings, you're, you know, you're
stepping away from the roof.
You have the revelation.
I, I need to make an impactand stuff like that.
Where was step one coming offthat roof?
It was accepting that I hadmade choices that I needed to change
and it wasn't that I need tochange the past, but I need to accept
what I did and start makingthe changes to improve.
(09:31):
There was forgiveness, a lotof forgiveness.
I'd forgive a lot of people,including myself.
I even had to forgive peoplethat didn't want to apologize because
they didn't see that they haddone wrong.
There was things that they didthat hurt me and I needed to forgive
them for it.
Okay, so then how long did ittake you?
So you must have been dealingwith a massive amount of emotion,
right?
Massive amount of like, Iwant, I have to forgive people, I
(09:52):
don't want to forgive them.
I have to like all of this stuff.
Like we all deal with this stuff.
So, so, man, this is so.
I got me so fascinated.
So, so then how did you start.
So forgiveness and the otherone was acceptance, forgiveness.
How did you make this massiveshift into doing the self worth work?
And now you're a coach and nowyou're coaching blue collar.
(10:14):
Like, where did the two come together?
One of my pivotal days, Iremember I taken a job.
I've been an entrepreneur forover 12 years.
Actually I think it's 14 yearsnow, steady.
I had taken a job shortlyafter that day on the roof and I
was working for a company forabout six months.
I was manager of a division.
And I remember one day a guycame into my office and I worked
(10:35):
till five.
That was it, five o'clock.
I was done.
I was out the door.
I didn't care.
He came into my office at fiveminutes to five and he'd messed up
big time.
Like he made a massive mistake.
He put the company'sreputation at jeopardy and he was
in hot water.
Like it was.
He was getting fired over this.
Oh, wow.
And he came in and he wantedto talk and we sat there and we talked
(10:55):
for at least half an hour, 45 minutes.
And after he left my office,the realization of what I had just
done, how I just helpedsomebody, did I save his job?
Maybe for a little bit becausehe wasn't gone right away.
But I helped him understandthat he needed to own what he had
done.
And it just felt amazing tomake a difference in somebody's life.
And I recalled differentevents in my life.
(11:16):
And it's man, those little keymoments that you just take for granted,
little moments like that as Ifeel like there's a calling there.
And because somebody was braveenough to make the step before me,
they helped me the build thecourage to take the step myself,
man.
So, so.
So you bought something upfirst and foremost, bro.
(11:37):
Key moments for of impact.
Dude, that's.
Dude, I love it.
So you've been an entrepreneurfor 12 years.
Where was the rooftopexperience in those 12 years?
Was it before?
Was it mid?
It was at the start.
That was two years in.
So you were two years in andthen you had the rooftop experience
and now you have 10 years post.
(11:58):
Talk to me about the realdifferences in who you are, how you
think that led up to the firsttwo years.
Rooftop post, 10 years.
Now weigh that out for mebecause this is fascinating stuff
for me.
We're going deep here.
There's a lot.
So the entrepreneurial journeystarted again right after my second
(12:19):
separation.
And the weight of that turninginto a divorce, the realization of
not seeing my kids as much asI want to, my number one value is
family.
That weighs heavy.
So that really weighed me downa lot.
But then after that moment, Irealized that it doesn't have to
be the picture perfect whitepicket fence version of family.
(12:42):
It's not about how much timewe spend together in our lives, but
it's about how much life is inthe time we spend together.
There's a one of Kanye's songsand I, I love this line, and maybe
he means something differentby it, but the line is, my presence
is my present.
And I say it all the time tomy family.
(13:03):
Like, my presence is mypresent, sometimes as a joke, but
most of the time it's no.
This is one of the presentsI'm giving you.
And I tell them all the time,if I'm not being present with you,
feel free to give me a nudge.
And if that nudge is a slapupside the head, so be it.
Right?
So that changed everythingbecause now instead of looking at
having this massive quantityof time, I was more focused on the
(13:23):
quality of the time we werespending together and making those
moments last, making themimportant and valuable.
And then from that, I was ableto build myself number one and start
to get into a place where Iwas ready to be in a solid, quality
relationship with myself.
Then I was ready to be in arelationship with somebody else.
(13:46):
And then I was ready to buildbetter business relationships.
I like the progression of thatself others business relationships
like that's a very healthy progression.
And that was actually going tobe the next question.
I was thinking, like, soyou've had two divorces or two separations
and ultimately divorce.
Like, how is the quality andthe strength of your relationships
now that you've done all thisinner work?
(14:07):
Did you find it is increasing?
Do you find it's better?
What does that look like?
It is better.
Okay.
It's not as good as I'd likeit to be, but it's better.
It's.
I put the effort in, and Ifind that now when things don't go,
I guess you could say my way,I don't get as upset, don't get triggered.
I meet people where they'reat, and it just.
(14:28):
It helps a relationship so much.
I have those hardconversations now so much easier.
I used to be afraid to havethe hard conversations because I
was like, oh, everybody'sgonna get upset.
They're gonna get defensive.
Now I'm okay with it.
And if you're not okay with itand if you get defensive and offended
by us having a hardconversation, we need to talk a little
bit deeper.
(14:48):
So let's switch gears a little bit.
This has been such afascinating thing.
And.
And I know you, the listenerwho is sitting here, like, on listening
to this story, will maybeconnecting to it, like the strength
of how much you werestruggling versus how much you could
be struggling less.
There's so much in this storythat is powerful, which I think positions
you as an amazing coach, Doug.
(15:10):
Now let's switch gears alittle bit because you have a book
coming out.
And so to the.
To you guys, the listener, bythe time you listen to this particular
episode, his book will be out,and there will be a link inside the
show notes that I do want youto go grab.
But let's talk about the bookand what it looks like and who's
it for, and then let's get itbehind the scenes of the process
(15:32):
of you getting to actually bean author.
So the book is for anybodythat is willing to put their ego
aside, is willing to grow, andwilling to look at the possibility
that maybe, just maybe, theymight need to do things a little
bit different in their life.
Maybe they need to changetheir mindset, maybe they need to
change their habits.
Maybe they need to developmore ownership.
(15:52):
I talk about some life eventsin there.
The passing of my father, howI didn't own that for years, and
I didn't own the passing, butI owned how I responded to it.
I had a serious car accidentin 2021.
That I was T boned by atransport truck.
He ran the red light.
It wasn't my fault, but I putmyself in that place, in that specific
point in time.
(16:13):
So it's one of the things Italk about is just accepting that
everything you're getting outof life is because of choices you're
making.
And I got so deep on that, Iforgot what the last part of that
was.
That's okay.
I listen, I love it.
Because that's a great lessonfrom a book.
And guys, if you're listening,make sure you grab that book, because
that's a life lesson you needif you want to go up a level.
(16:33):
And this is from somebody,both me and Doug, who have been in
leadership development,whether personally or professionally,
because I've been doing it 20 years.
These are lessons that willradically shift your life.
Let's go.
And let's just go into someother questions.
Then writing this book, theprocess, did you find that you were
fighting some old feelings toget to writing or did you just get
down and dirty in the writing?
You're like, I don't care.
(16:54):
We write in this thing.
What does that look like?
It started off, I was like,yep, getting it done.
Let's go.
Giddy up.
I'm gonna write a 50,000 word book.
Let's go.
This would be number one bestseller.
And then I started writing it.
That was a little off.
And I actually remember thisone point in time.
It was actually last January.
My wife was in Costa Rica fora work retreat.
And while I'm working on thebook, all of a sudden these ants
(17:16):
start coming up, automaticnegative thoughts.
And I was like, I need topause and just own this and look
into this, go deeper.
And I actually reached out toa couple of people that are important
to me and they've helped me before.
Hey, this is what's going onright now.
I just need an ear.
And we just had a coupleconversations and it just, it helped
(17:37):
me work through it.
And then I was able to jump inthere, work through it, and get back
into the book.
And now it's exciting becausethe book's almost done.
Like, it's.
It's being edited right nowand it's just, man, what a difference.
And actually I put it on holdfor a bit because I was.
What were you scared of?
Putting myself out there.
Because once it's on paper,it's there for life.
(17:58):
That's powerful.
It's powerful in as much thatthe vulnerability it takes to.
And humility it takes toactually share that.
And that's that is where theconnection and the powerful, especially
as a guy, we don't want toshare those things.
And so that's huge, man.
And yeah, so we're going tomake sure you guys, the listener
as you.
We're progressing in this conversation.
Just always remember two things.
(18:19):
Number one, show notes aregonna have everything in it.
But number two, if you haveany questions that you would love
to send in or ask Doug oranything, we're going to give you
his socials here for a minute.
You can reach out to himpersonally or you can just comment
on whatever.
If you're on YouTube, becausethis is live on YouTube, you can
comment below or send me amessage at lead with Jim on any of
the socials and we'll makesure to get you an answer.
(18:41):
With that.
All being said, as we start toland the plane of this particular
episode there, I have threequestions for you, pretty much.
All right, now two of thequestions are going to be about a
wisdom bomb and a how dopeople find you?
But before we get into that,I'm very curious.
Like the blue collar thing, Iwant to go back to that because this
(19:02):
is.
This has been a journey onthis episode to get to this place.
Do you find.
You had mentioned it earlier alittle bit, but do you find that
the people that you're workingwith have struggled greatly with
the things that you've startedgetting victory in, or is this just
a new set of struggles thatyou're finding as you do this?
(19:22):
Like, how are the people thatyou've decided to work with truly
connecting with you?
It's a struggle that a lot ofpeople have had.
It's not a newly developed struggle.
It's something that's existedfor decades, for generations.
And it's not just in the bluecollar workers either.
It's everywhere.
So if it's being everywhere.
But your specific focus is onthose blue collars.
(19:44):
And can you define blue collar for.
For me and the listeners, justso we all have the context of that.
It's pretty much anythingthat's service based.
So it could be a constructionworker, trade worker, police officer,
military, firefighters, allpeople that do services and provide
services for the community orfor the world.
(20:04):
Would you consider likecoaches, online coaches as part of
that blue collar?
They're a combination.
They're blue collar and white collar.
Okay, maybe, maybe I should dolike a blue and white stripe collar
from now on.
There you go, man.
Mix it up.
I love the blue collar thing, dude.
My, my grandfather was a bluecollar guy.
I've have nothing but respectfor all of those guys.
(20:25):
My daughter actually is an EMTnow, so she is so hard.
And I'm prior military, soheart is always there.
So with that being said, let'sdo two things.
Number one, let's do a wisdom bomb.
And for you guys who are thelisteners, this is the part of the
show where we get a portabletruth hashtag wisdom bomb.
If you're on Facebook, justput hashtag wisdom bomb and you will
find I do a daily wisdom bomb.
(20:46):
And with that being said,what's a wisdom bomb you would leave
for our guest?
I got it.
I think one of my favoriteswould be that you have a choice.
You can be an extra in yourlife or you can be the director,
the producer, the writer, andthe main character.
Be the director.
Be the producer.
(21:07):
I love it.
It comes back to choice.
You make choice.
Be the director.
Be the main character.
Man, I'm an anime fan.
Be the main character.
Because you never hear fromthe the extras ever again.
So that's right.
All right, so how can we find you?
Easiest way, best way whereI'm most active is Facebook coach
Doug Farrier.
Okay.
I'm also on Instagram, Douglasunderscore Farrier.
(21:30):
I've got two websites.
One's fancy, one's not sopretty, but there's Douglas farrier.com
and then the longer one inbusiness breakthroughs.com and that's
mostly for my businesscoaching clients.
Wonderful.
And what I'm going to do isagain, exactly.
You heard it twice so far.
You will have that all in theshow notes because we want to make
it as easy as possible for youto go visit our guest so you can
(21:52):
connect.
With that being said, Doug,thank you for being on Grace in the
Grind.
We appreciate you and weappreciate the value that you've
brought.
You're welcome.
I appreciate this opportunityand I really hope that somebody gets
some value out of what I share today.
Yeah, man, I'm sure.
I know I got some value.
And I'm almost positive thelisteners are going to do that as
well.
So with that being said, youhave been listening to Grace and
the Grind where we dive intothe stories behind success.
(22:16):
We get into those deep, grittystories that are rarely ever talked
about.
So on Grace and the Grind, wewill get those to inspire you so
that you can do all that Godhas called you to do.
And with that being said, Imake sure you interact with this
episode, whether whatever you.
Wherever you're listening, ifyou're on Apple Iradio, and those
things hit us up with a followand maybe a review if you're on YouTube
www.leadwithjim.live if youwant to go to YouTube to see the
(22:38):
video version of this and makesure you hit subscribe and ask your
questions in the comments.
With that being said, you havebeen listening to Grace and the Grind
and we appreciate you andwe'll see you on the next episode.
This has been Grace and the Grind.
We hope you've enjoyed the show.
If you did, make sure to like,rate and review and we'll be back
soon, but in the meantime,find us on social media.
(23:01):
LeadWithJam take care ofyourself and we'll see you next time
on Grace in the Grind.
Welcome to Grace and theGrind, the podcast where we dive
deep into the journeys ofheart centered and purpose driven
leaders and entrepreneurs.
We're here to equip andencourage you on your journey.
So let's get started and findthe grace within the grind.
This is Grace in the Grind.
And now your host, Jim Burgoon.
(00:25):
Welcome to Grace in the Grind.
We're here to tell the storybehind the story of some of success
of the most successful entrepreneurs.
To inspire you to keep moving,keep going, and to do all that God's
called you to.
And today I have a really dearfriend of mine.
Doug.
Welcome to the show.
Hey, Jim.
Thank you.
I appreciate the warm welcomeand the opportunity to be here.
Yeah, man, I think we're gonnahave a great conversation today.
(00:47):
But before we do, take 30 to90 seconds to just tell the audience
who you are and what you do.
So I'm Doug, the blue collarcoach Farrier.
I work with blue collar workers.
Mostly I lead them fromfeeling like they're lacking self
awareness and accountabilityto owning and elevating their life
and their business.
One of some of the things wedo is we work on your habits.
(01:09):
Let's get some better habitsgoing because your habits have helped
form your days.
We work on the mindset, owningyourself, owning your life, owning
your days.
And then I have this greatproprietary software that I use to
help businesses increase theirprofits and just find ways to streamline
the business.
Awesome.
Thank you for that.
And guys, as you always know,for you guys who have been listening
to the show, we will have alot of different things in the show
(01:31):
notes.
So make sure at some point youcheck the show notes for any links
or any things like that.
So, Doug, let's dig into someof your story.
Blue collar coach, I love that.
What does that look like?
Like, how did you become theblue collar coach?
As some people have heard mystory, back in 2014, I was working
in a blue collar industry.
I have most of my life and Ihit one of my breaking points.
(01:55):
It was my deepest rock bottomfrom an emotional standpoint.
And I stood the edge of aroof, not really seeing a way out
of this hole that I was in,this emotional black hole that I
had put myself in.
And I look over there to theroof and I saw a way out.
But instead of taking thatstep forward, I stepped back and
I decided to do the inner workand start healing myself.
And when I did that, one ofthe things I discovered was that
(02:17):
I wasn't alone.
In fact, men in the bluecollar industries have the highest
Rate of taking their own lives.
And that hit deep for mebecause I've lost some dear friends,
family that way.
And I want to make adifference in people's lives.
So you just, you have a lot there.
We can unpack and so you're ona rooftop.
(02:38):
But you said, put myself inthat black hole.
How did you put yourself there?
What does that look like?
Here's the funny thing.
Up until that point, I didn'tput myself there.
I would never label it that way.
It was everything around meput me there.
Okay, I.
I lost my dad at 12 years oldto cancer.
I didn't just lose him.
I was standing beside his bedwhen they turned off life support
(03:00):
machine.
And I had a negative feelingfrom that.
And I carried a negativeemotion with that, tied negative
emotion to that.
And I refused to find anypositive in it.
And it was all these differentevents that happened to me in my
life caused by other people,and I just buried everything.
And I realized, you know what?
I talk about this in my book.
(03:21):
I'm not directing my life.
I'm merely an extra in my life.
I'm not even a main characterright now.
I'm just an extra being toldwhat to do.
So I realized that my lack ofcommitment to my own life, my lack
of action, lack of ownership,had put me in this hole that I needed
to get out of.
It was time to turn that around.
And.
Yeah, so what was one of thedefining moments of that?
(03:43):
So.
So as I'm hearing the story,you know, you're like, you're the
environment, the situations,put you in this place.
Not a main character.
Want to be a main character.
What were some of the keymoments that caused breakthrough?
The big three on that route,there's three big things that.
That stood out to me.
The first one was my son, 16years old.
Here I am leading him as aman, showing him how to be a man.
(04:06):
And I questioned my integrityas a man at that moment, because
the situation I put myself inthere was my daughter who years before
I had this great memory oftaking her to Walmart to buy her
first bicycle.
And as we're walking through,she's ringing the bell saying, look
out, bike coming through.
I questioned again my manhoodand my fatherhood, and I had a bit
of a pull from my kids to bethere for them.
(04:29):
And then I remembered thepassing of my father and what that
did to me, how that impactedmy life.
And that was my defining moment.
No more.
I'm not going to allow that tobe the legacy that I Leave for my
kids.
I'm not going to create thatlegacy for them.
Powerful.
Go ahead, continue.
Yeah.
And from that moment forward,I just.
I decided it was time to live.
(04:49):
Time to own my life and to live.
And I recalled that when I wasyounger and I got into these hot
spots when my dad passed away.
I was raised Catholic.
And when my dad passed away, I.
I denounced God.
I actually, like, I denounced him.
I.
I had beef with him.
I was ready to go toe to toewith him.
I was so mad.
But then when I got into timesof trouble as a teenager, getting
arrested, things like that, Iremember praying and my situation
(05:13):
changing.
Not even a year before I stoodon the edge of that roof, I got a
tattoo that takes up half myback, and it's a cross with angel's
wings.
And I knew that I need to leanback into my faith a bit, at least
a little bit, to help steer mein a better direction.
Do you find that?
Now, I've got two lines ofquestioning here, so we're going
to follow one and go back andswing back to the other one, because
(05:34):
this is great stuff.
And before I get to the faithone, because the faith one I want
to definitely dive into andthe ramifications of, obviously,
the tattoo leading into the roof.
But there's two.
There's something you saidearlier and then something that you
had.
We had talked about.
You said what was done to me,the environment and things.
And then you came back andsaid what I did to myself.
(05:54):
And so I want to know.
I want to push into that alittle bit further because there
seems to be almost an inconsistency.
Was it your choices thatcaused all of your feelings?
Or was your thought processof, hey, this is just happening to
me, I accept it.
Help me understand that process.
So there's a combination.
There's obviously events thatwe have no control over what's.
(06:15):
But we do have control overhow we respond to them.
It's our responsibility, ourability to respond.
However, at the time, I wasnot taking that responsibility seriously.
So things would happen whetherit was my cause or not, and I didn't
want to own it.
And then as I started to make the.
To do the inner work and makethe changes, I was more willing to
(06:36):
own it.
And interestingly enough, whenI was a teenager, I owned everything.
I didn't care, didn't nothingphased me.
I owned everything.
And then I got to the pointwhere I stopped owning it.
I started blaming outsidesources, and then I went back to
owning it.
So what do you find thatBecause I know this is going to be
a lot of things the listeneris dealing with in some of this.
(06:59):
Because there is this hugetemptation to blame everything else
for my feelings.
And I like the transparencyand just the rawness that you're
sharing is I owned it.
I didn't own it.
I owned it.
Didn't own it.
Now I'm owning it again.
Love that.
So what were some of thefactors that helped you re reconnect
with owning it?
What were some of those factors?
(07:19):
Was it just the kids or werethere more happening?
The kids started it.
That was the.
That's what got its motion.
And then it was realizingthat, you know what, everything is
possible in this life.
I can achieve whatever I wantas long as I'm willing to own everything.
Everything I had up to thatpoint was a direct result of choices
I'd made before.
(07:40):
So I knew that if I wanted tohave more, I needed to be more and
I needed to own it all.
I started doing the researchand studying high performers and
people that came before me,Personal development, all that stuff.
You know, the greats, TonyRobbins, Brendan Burchard, John Maxwell.
I.
I started sending all of them,trying to figure out how I could
improve my life.
And one of the big things thatI saw was a lot of ownership.
(08:02):
Yeah, definitely.
All right, so then, now let'sgo to the roof.
Yeah.
Okay.
So were you owning it beforethe roof, or was it post roof experience?
Rooftop experience.
Did you start owning things?
What does that look like for you?
It was on the roof when Istarted owning it.
So I literally stepped awayfrom the edge.
I sat on my bucket of tools,put my head in my hands, raised my
(08:25):
head up, and I looked around,and there was nobody there.
I was by myself, and it was inthat moment I realized that nobody
was coming to save me.
And I finally understood whatit meant when people say, nobody's
coming to save you.
I had lots of people thatcared about me, but if I wasn't willing
to do the work and willing tomake the changes, it didn't matter
how much people cared andloved me.
(08:47):
Oh, wow, man.
Thank you for unpacking that alittle bit.
Because you're like, I lookedaround and, dude.
So you just came to yoursenses while you're up on the roof?
Yeah, I was just thinking itwas a light switch.
Thank God that you did.
I'm great.
I'm grateful for the last yearof our friendships.
I'm glad you did step away.
And all the input, impactyou're going to make in the blue
Collar world.
All right, so now we have thisstory developing.
(09:08):
We have where you're owningthings, you're, you know, you're
stepping away from the roof.
You have the revelation.
I, I need to make an impactand stuff like that.
Where was step one coming offthat roof?
It was accepting that I hadmade choices that I needed to change
and it wasn't that I need tochange the past, but I need to accept
what I did and start makingthe changes to improve.
(09:31):
There was forgiveness, a lotof forgiveness.
I'd forgive a lot of people,including myself.
I even had to forgive peoplethat didn't want to apologize because
they didn't see that they haddone wrong.
There was things that they didthat hurt me and I needed to forgive
them for it.
Okay, so then how long did ittake you?
So you must have been dealingwith a massive amount of emotion,
right?
Massive amount of like, Iwant, I have to forgive people, I
(09:52):
don't want to forgive them.
I have to like all of this stuff.
Like we all deal with this stuff.
So, so, man, this is so.
I got me so fascinated.
So, so then how did you start.
So forgiveness and the otherone was acceptance, forgiveness.
How did you make this massiveshift into doing the self worth work?
And now you're a coach and nowyou're coaching blue collar.
(10:14):
Like, where did the two come together?
One of my pivotal days, Iremember I taken a job.
I've been an entrepreneur forover 12 years.
Actually I think it's 14 yearsnow, steady.
I had taken a job shortlyafter that day on the roof and I
was working for a company forabout six months.
I was manager of a division.
And I remember one day a guycame into my office and I worked
(10:35):
till five.
That was it, five o'clock.
I was done.
I was out the door.
I didn't care.
He came into my office at fiveminutes to five and he'd messed up
big time.
Like he made a massive mistake.
He put the company'sreputation at jeopardy and he was
in hot water.
Like it was.
He was getting fired over this.
Oh, wow.
And he came in and he wantedto talk and we sat there and we talked
(10:55):
for at least half an hour, 45 minutes.
And after he left my office,the realization of what I had just
done, how I just helpedsomebody, did I save his job?
Maybe for a little bit becausehe wasn't gone right away.
But I helped him understandthat he needed to own what he had
done.
And it just felt amazing tomake a difference in somebody's life.
And I recalled differentevents in my life.
(11:16):
And it's man, those little keymoments that you just take for granted,
little moments like that as Ifeel like there's a calling there.
And because somebody was braveenough to make the step before me,
they helped me the build thecourage to take the step myself,
man.
So, so.
So you bought something upfirst and foremost, bro.
(11:37):
Key moments for of impact.
Dude, that's.
Dude, I love it.
So you've been an entrepreneurfor 12 years.
Where was the rooftopexperience in those 12 years?
Was it before?
Was it mid?
It was at the start.
That was two years in.
So you were two years in andthen you had the rooftop experience
and now you have 10 years post.
(11:58):
Talk to me about the realdifferences in who you are, how you
think that led up to the firsttwo years.
Rooftop post, 10 years.
Now weigh that out for mebecause this is fascinating stuff
for me.
We're going deep here.
There's a lot.
So the entrepreneurial journeystarted again right after my second
(12:19):
separation.
And the weight of that turninginto a divorce, the realization of
not seeing my kids as much asI want to, my number one value is
family.
That weighs heavy.
So that really weighed me downa lot.
But then after that moment, Irealized that it doesn't have to
be the picture perfect whitepicket fence version of family.
(12:42):
It's not about how much timewe spend together in our lives, but
it's about how much life is inthe time we spend together.
There's a one of Kanye's songsand I, I love this line, and maybe
he means something differentby it, but the line is, my presence
is my present.
And I say it all the time tomy family.
(13:03):
Like, my presence is mypresent, sometimes as a joke, but
most of the time it's no.
This is one of the presentsI'm giving you.
And I tell them all the time,if I'm not being present with you,
feel free to give me a nudge.
And if that nudge is a slapupside the head, so be it.
Right?
So that changed everythingbecause now instead of looking at
having this massive quantityof time, I was more focused on the
(13:23):
quality of the time we werespending together and making those
moments last, making themimportant and valuable.
And then from that, I was ableto build myself number one and start
to get into a place where Iwas ready to be in a solid, quality
relationship with myself.
Then I was ready to be in arelationship with somebody else.
(13:46):
And then I was ready to buildbetter business relationships.
I like the progression of thatself others business relationships
like that's a very healthy progression.
And that was actually going tobe the next question.
I was thinking, like, soyou've had two divorces or two separations
and ultimately divorce.
Like, how is the quality andthe strength of your relationships
now that you've done all thisinner work?
(14:07):
Did you find it is increasing?
Do you find it's better?
What does that look like?
It is better.
Okay.
It's not as good as I'd likeit to be, but it's better.
It's.
I put the effort in, and Ifind that now when things don't go,
I guess you could say my way,I don't get as upset, don't get triggered.
I meet people where they'reat, and it just.
(14:28):
It helps a relationship so much.
I have those hardconversations now so much easier.
I used to be afraid to havethe hard conversations because I
was like, oh, everybody'sgonna get upset.
They're gonna get defensive.
Now I'm okay with it.
And if you're not okay with itand if you get defensive and offended
by us having a hardconversation, we need to talk a little
bit deeper.
(14:48):
So let's switch gears a little bit.
This has been such afascinating thing.
And.
And I know you, the listenerwho is sitting here, like, on listening
to this story, will maybeconnecting to it, like the strength
of how much you werestruggling versus how much you could
be struggling less.
There's so much in this storythat is powerful, which I think positions
you as an amazing coach, Doug.
(15:10):
Now let's switch gears alittle bit because you have a book
coming out.
And so to the.
To you guys, the listener, bythe time you listen to this particular
episode, his book will be out,and there will be a link inside the
show notes that I do want youto go grab.
But let's talk about the bookand what it looks like and who's
it for, and then let's get itbehind the scenes of the process
(15:32):
of you getting to actually bean author.
So the book is for anybodythat is willing to put their ego
aside, is willing to grow, andwilling to look at the possibility
that maybe, just maybe, theymight need to do things a little
bit different in their life.
Maybe they need to changetheir mindset, maybe they need to
change their habits.
Maybe they need to developmore ownership.
(15:52):
I talk about some life eventsin there.
The passing of my father, howI didn't own that for years, and
I didn't own the passing, butI owned how I responded to it.
I had a serious car accidentin 2021.
That I was T boned by atransport truck.
He ran the red light.
It wasn't my fault, but I putmyself in that place, in that specific
point in time.
(16:13):
So it's one of the things Italk about is just accepting that
everything you're getting outof life is because of choices you're
making.
And I got so deep on that, Iforgot what the last part of that
was.
That's okay.
I listen, I love it.
Because that's a great lessonfrom a book.
And guys, if you're listening,make sure you grab that book, because
that's a life lesson you needif you want to go up a level.
(16:33):
And this is from somebody,both me and Doug, who have been in
leadership development,whether personally or professionally,
because I've been doing it 20 years.
These are lessons that willradically shift your life.
Let's go.
And let's just go into someother questions.
Then writing this book, theprocess, did you find that you were
fighting some old feelings toget to writing or did you just get
down and dirty in the writing?
You're like, I don't care.
(16:54):
We write in this thing.
What does that look like?
It started off, I was like,yep, getting it done.
Let's go.
Giddy up.
I'm gonna write a 50,000 word book.
Let's go.
This would be number one bestseller.
And then I started writing it.
That was a little off.
And I actually remember thisone point in time.
It was actually last January.
My wife was in Costa Rica fora work retreat.
And while I'm working on thebook, all of a sudden these ants
(17:16):
start coming up, automaticnegative thoughts.
And I was like, I need topause and just own this and look
into this, go deeper.
And I actually reached out toa couple of people that are important
to me and they've helped me before.
Hey, this is what's going onright now.
I just need an ear.
And we just had a coupleconversations and it just, it helped
(17:37):
me work through it.
And then I was able to jump inthere, work through it, and get back
into the book.
And now it's exciting becausethe book's almost done.
Like, it's.
It's being edited right nowand it's just, man, what a difference.
And actually I put it on holdfor a bit because I was.
What were you scared of?
Putting myself out there.
Because once it's on paper,it's there for life.
(17:58):
That's powerful.
It's powerful in as much thatthe vulnerability it takes to.
And humility it takes toactually share that.
And that's that is where theconnection and the powerful, especially
as a guy, we don't want toshare those things.
And so that's huge, man.
And yeah, so we're going tomake sure you guys, the listener
as you.
We're progressing in this conversation.
Just always remember two things.
(18:19):
Number one, show notes aregonna have everything in it.
But number two, if you haveany questions that you would love
to send in or ask Doug oranything, we're going to give you
his socials here for a minute.
You can reach out to himpersonally or you can just comment
on whatever.
If you're on YouTube, becausethis is live on YouTube, you can
comment below or send me amessage at lead with Jim on any of
the socials and we'll makesure to get you an answer.
(18:41):
With that.
All being said, as we start toland the plane of this particular
episode there, I have threequestions for you, pretty much.
All right, now two of thequestions are going to be about a
wisdom bomb and a how dopeople find you?
But before we get into that,I'm very curious.
Like the blue collar thing, Iwant to go back to that because this
(19:02):
is.
This has been a journey onthis episode to get to this place.
Do you find.
You had mentioned it earlier alittle bit, but do you find that
the people that you're workingwith have struggled greatly with
the things that you've startedgetting victory in, or is this just
a new set of struggles thatyou're finding as you do this?
(19:22):
Like, how are the people thatyou've decided to work with truly
connecting with you?
It's a struggle that a lot ofpeople have had.
It's not a newly developed struggle.
It's something that's existedfor decades, for generations.
And it's not just in the bluecollar workers either.
It's everywhere.
So if it's being everywhere.
But your specific focus is onthose blue collars.
(19:44):
And can you define blue collar for.
For me and the listeners, justso we all have the context of that.
It's pretty much anythingthat's service based.
So it could be a constructionworker, trade worker, police officer,
military, firefighters, allpeople that do services and provide
services for the community orfor the world.
(20:04):
Would you consider likecoaches, online coaches as part of
that blue collar?
They're a combination.
They're blue collar and white collar.
Okay, maybe, maybe I should dolike a blue and white stripe collar
from now on.
There you go, man.
Mix it up.
I love the blue collar thing, dude.
My, my grandfather was a bluecollar guy.
I've have nothing but respectfor all of those guys.
(20:25):
My daughter actually is an EMTnow, so she is so hard.
And I'm prior military, soheart is always there.
So with that being said, let'sdo two things.
Number one, let's do a wisdom bomb.
And for you guys who are thelisteners, this is the part of the
show where we get a portabletruth hashtag wisdom bomb.
If you're on Facebook, justput hashtag wisdom bomb and you will
find I do a daily wisdom bomb.
(20:46):
And with that being said,what's a wisdom bomb you would leave
for our guest?
I got it.
I think one of my favoriteswould be that you have a choice.
You can be an extra in yourlife or you can be the director,
the producer, the writer, andthe main character.
Be the director.
Be the producer.
(21:07):
I love it.
It comes back to choice.
You make choice.
Be the director.
Be the main character.
Man, I'm an anime fan.
Be the main character.
Because you never hear fromthe the extras ever again.
So that's right.
All right, so how can we find you?
Easiest way, best way whereI'm most active is Facebook coach
Doug Farrier.
Okay.
I'm also on Instagram, Douglasunderscore Farrier.
(21:30):
I've got two websites.
One's fancy, one's not sopretty, but there's Douglas farrier.com
and then the longer one inbusiness breakthroughs.com and that's
mostly for my businesscoaching clients.
Wonderful.
And what I'm going to do isagain, exactly.
You heard it twice so far.
You will have that all in theshow notes because we want to make
it as easy as possible for youto go visit our guest so you can
(21:52):
connect.
With that being said, Doug,thank you for being on Grace in the
Grind.
We appreciate you and weappreciate the value that you've
brought.
You're welcome.
I appreciate this opportunityand I really hope that somebody gets
some value out of what I share today.
Yeah, man, I'm sure.
I know I got some value.
And I'm almost positive thelisteners are going to do that as
well.
So with that being said, youhave been listening to Grace and
the Grind where we dive intothe stories behind success.
(22:16):
We get into those deep, grittystories that are rarely ever talked
about.
So on Grace and the Grind, wewill get those to inspire you so
that you can do all that Godhas called you to do.
And with that being said, Imake sure you interact with this
episode, whether whatever you.
Wherever you're listening, ifyou're on Apple Iradio, and those
things hit us up with a followand maybe a review if you're on YouTube
www.leadwithjim.live if youwant to go to YouTube to see the
(22:38):
video version of this and makesure you hit subscribe and ask your
questions in the comments.
With that being said, you havebeen listening to Grace and the Grind
and we appreciate you andwe'll see you on the next episode.
This has been Grace and the Grind.
We hope you've enjoyed the show.
If you did, make sure to like,rate and review and we'll be back
soon, but in the meantime,find us on social media.
(23:01):
LeadWithJam take care ofyourself and we'll see you next time
on Grace in the Grind.
Host
Jim Burgoon
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