January 27, 2025 • 35 mins
Summary
This engaging panel discussion explores the critical topics of mental health, personal growth, and the journeys of recovery. Jim Burgoon hosts two inspiring guests, Dave Chametzky and Richard Kaufman, who share their transformative experiences and insights on overcoming life's challenges. The conversation delves into the stigma surrounding mental health, emphasizing the importance of storytelling as a means of healing and connection. Both guests highlight the power of vulnerability and the strength found in embracing one's journey, whether it involves sharing personal struggles or helping others navigate their own. With a mix of humor and heartfelt wisdom, this episode encourages listeners to recognize their worth and the significance of their stories in fostering resilience and hope.
Key Takeaways
- Faith and Resilience: Challenges can be transformed into growth through faith and perseverance.
- Storytelling Heals: Sharing your story breaks stigmas and inspires others to seek healing.
- Choose Your Path: Decide daily to be a victor of your future, not a victim of your past.
- Mentorship Matters: Helping others creates ripple effects of hope and impact.
Breaking Shame: Healing starts when you confront guilt and shift your mindset.
Overview
This engaging panel discussion explores the critical topics of mental health, personal growth, and the journeys of recovery. Jim Burgoon hosts two inspiring guests, Dave Chametzky and Richard Kaufman, who share their transformative experiences and insights on overcoming life's challenges. The conversation delves into the stigma surrounding mental health, emphasizing the importance of storytelling as a means of healing and connection. Both guests highlight the power of vulnerability and the strength found in embracing one's journey, whether it involves sharing personal struggles or helping others navigate their own. With a mix of humor and heartfelt wisdom, this episode encourages listeners to recognize their worth and the significance of their stories in fostering resilience and hope.
A thought-provoking panel discussion unfolds as Jim Burgoon is joined by Richard and Dave, two passionate advocates for mental health awareness, who share their personal experiences with mental illness and recovery. Richard, self-identified as the 'Comeback Coach,' recounts his remarkable journey from addiction to advocacy, emphasizing the importance of breaking the silence surrounding mental health issues. He candidly discusses the misconceptions about recovery and the significance of sharing one's story, challenging the traditional views of anonymity that often inhibit open conversations. Richard's journey as a two-time suicide survivor illustrates the power of resilience and the necessity of supporting one another through life's challenges.
Dave also shares his transformative journey, marked by a suicide attempt that catalyzed a profound change in his life. He speaks to the strength found in vulnerability and the critical role of storytelling in fostering connection and healing. Both guests highlight the stigma associated with mental health and the barriers that prevent individuals from seeking help. Through a mix of humor and poignant insights, they provide practical strategies for overcoming shame and guilt, encouraging listeners to view their experiences as valuable lessons rather than burdens. Their discussion serves as a compelling reminder of the importance of empathy and understanding in supporting those facing mental health challenges.
As the conversation progresses, the trio explores various themes, including the significance of community, the impact of personal narratives, and the necessity of creating safe spaces for dialogue about mental health. Richard's innovative approach...
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to Grace and theGrind, the podcast where we dive
deep into the journeys ofheart centered and purpose driven
leaders and entrepreneurs.
We're here to equip andencourage you on your journey.
So let's get started and findthe grace within the grind.
This is Grace in the Grind.
And now your host, Jim Burgoon.
(00:22):
Welcome to Grace in the Grind,where we're here to empower, to encourage,
and to equip you to do allthat God has called you to do.
And today I have actually twofriends with me, which was, which
is real fun.
This is our first time.
We're doing a, basically apanel episode.
I've got my friend Dave andRichard, and they're gonna take a
second to introduce themselves.
But guys, as we go into thisepisode, make sure you hit the follow
(00:44):
button and then make sure youalso engage because we'd love to
hear from you.
We'd love to hear somequestions and things on this show
and maybe future shows.
So, guys, Dave, Richard,welcome to the show today.
Thank you so much, man.
I'm so excited.
So let's, let's do this.
So, so that the audience havean understanding of who's here today.
Let's do about 90 seconds tojust give us a quick intro.
What do you do?
(01:05):
Who'd like to go first?
David is the man with.
The man with the plane.
All right, David, I'll go.
No problem.
So, so, Dave Chimetzky, what Ido is I help people write their stories,
get their stories on stages,or create a podcast like this.
You know, it's all aboutaligning ourselves.
And we'll talk about that alittle bit later.
But it's, you know, the Graceand the Grind is really all about
(01:28):
aligning ourselves, not onlyfor business, but in our personal
lives.
So we'll talk a little bit more.
And you see my little nameunder there, the Goonfather.
I also have a charity calledGoons for Good.
Part of my alignment of who Iam and what I do.
And, you know, being on theshow with you, Jim and Richard, man,
(01:48):
I align myselves with amazinghumans like yourselves.
Well, thank you, Sarah.
Richard, let's.
Let's hear from you.
My name is Richard Kaufman,also known as the Comeback Coach.
I'm an author, podcaster,speaker, but most of all, I'm somebody
that went from dope dealer tohope dealer.
So for me, now I'm just tryingto help people struggling in life
(02:10):
and business and also helppeople launch podcasts like mine
that has been.
That's hit the top point fivepercent in the world.
And it's all about paying it forward.
Awesome.
Yeah.
I want to, I want to say justa shout out to you because I know
you just hit 2.5 milliondownloads on your podcast, man.
So just congratulations on that.
I'm very excited, dude.
(02:31):
Very excited for that.
God is good.
He is all the time.
So with you guys both having,you know, for you.
Richard, who says, the mentalhealth advocate, David, you have
a big background helpingpeople with mental health.
Let's start there because Ifind that mental health is a big
topic that is oftentimes nottalked about.
(02:51):
So with that being said, howdid you guys get into being advocates
or helping people with mental health?
How did you guys get into thatwhole theme or that whole niche that,
that you guys are working in?
I guess I'm starting.
I got in because I got thrownto the deep end.
You know, life got a littletoo much for me and I sought out
mental help.
(03:12):
And truthfully, back in theday, when I started in college, I
was taking behavioral sciences.
That's what I got mybachelor's degree in.
People bring you throughsometimes really slowly, and then
other times he's going tobring you by pushing you down the
flight of stairs.
And I only learn when I getpushed down the flight of stairs.
(03:32):
And, you know, and that'sreally how it came.
It started building upon it.
And then I started seeingwhere God was bringing me.
And I didn't even admit thatit was God, but I was like, all right,
all these things align up in away that's become so much more powerful.
And you see that, you see thatthrough line.
And that's why it's soimportant to know what our through
(03:54):
line is.
We take the time out of ourtraumas, remove ourselves out of
those traumas, then have theability to see much more clearly.
Right?
Nobody believed Moses, youknow, at the beginning, and then
at the end they followed him.
That's what we need to do asall of us is having that ability
to see, follow through ourvision when others can.
(04:16):
And then they start going, Iget it now, it's your vision.
But it comes through a lot ofdifferent ways.
For me, I'm in recovery 36 years.
I haven't had a drink since 1989.
I'm a two time suicide survivor.
So I'm 60, blind, due to, dueto, in the military.
(04:38):
So I've had to come back a lot.
And, and I figured there'smore people out there like me, so
why don't I just, you know,take the bullets for them while they're,
while they're getting up andtrying to get healthy again.
So that's what I believe.
And I believe that you can'treally help somebody that's in the
storm unless you've been inthe storm.
(05:02):
You can reach out, reach downand help them up because they know
you've been there, you've done that.
And you can.
And you can tell.
You're not just tellingstories, you're actually telling
war stories.
So what do you guys findthat's been the hardest challenge?
Like, so, like, if, for youguys who are listening, if you, if
you heard my story, my wife isdiagnosed with multiple mental illnesses.
(05:25):
I have CPTSD and a few things.
And so, like, what do you findhas been the most challenging in
working with people with thisand, or actually having people open
up about this?
What have you been finding themost challenges?
Well, recently.
I'm sorry, recently it's beenpeople in recovery because they're
(05:46):
telling me, well, you'resupposed to be anonymous.
You're not supposed to tellyour story.
You're not supposed to be inpress, radio and film.
And I'm in all of that.
I figure I can help millionsof people instead of just being in
a room with 10 people.
And so I'm getting on by a lotof people that are in the recovery
space.
It's kind of weird.
They're like, wait a minute,we're supposed to be an anonymity.
(06:09):
And I'm like, I won't tellabout you.
You know, I'll tell about me,but I'm not going to tell about you.
If, if I see you in a meetingthat stays between us.
I don't, I'll never say that.
But people are like, well, youknow, according to the big book,
you know, press, radio andfilms, you're supposed to have anonymity.
Well, I got a movie coming outand it's all about what we're talking
(06:30):
about.
So.
And a lot of people don'tthink you, you get on by the people
that are in the recoverycircles, but it happens a lot.
Yeah.
And go on.
That is the stigma.
Right.
So if Richard wants to tellhis story or anybody wants to tell
their story, it's their story.
Now, if Richard's telling mystory, that's the confidence.
(06:50):
And I know he wouldn't, youknow, unless I've allowed it.
And that's why I share my story.
And that's part of the problemwe have in society.
Hey, Jim, you have a problem.
Just don't tell anybody.
Why don't you sit down.
Yeah, it's nice.
And that's it.
No, it's the opposite.
So I also, you know, to add onto that, what happened with my story,
(07:11):
I attempted suicide.
And during my attempt, itsaid, you have to go tell your story.
It's not your time.
Go tell your story.
And I didn't realize it until recently.
I thought it was just aboutthe mental wellness.
I'm an author also, and as I'mwriting this other book, I had a
download from God, and hegoes, it's not only your story.
Don't think, you know, like,almost as a joke, don't think you're
(07:35):
so special that it's aboutyour story.
It's the idea of curating thatsafe space, removing those stigmas.
Because in the substance abuseI worked, I was a recovery coach.
This horrible stigmas.
When you hear about recovery,what do you see?
You see the needle and the spoon.
You want to know one trick?
What's horrible about that?
It's dirty, right?
(07:56):
Even in the language we use.
Are you clean?
No, no, we'll always clean.
Or maybe not.
Maybe you didn't shower, butthat doesn't make you not clean.
A lot of the overdose deathswere not drug addicts.
There were people in areaslike mine, Massapequa, which was
the number one overdose deatharea for the longest time.
(08:17):
But it was prescription drugs.
It was the opioids that theygot from doctors.
So let's change those stigmas.
And that's why, speaking aboutmental wellness and recovery, that's
why whenever I see somebodylike Richard, who's been in recovery,
long term recovery, you'restill in recovery.
But I.
That's a warrior to fightthrough those things, that's real
(08:41):
power.
That's why when you say, whenpeople see somebody who might have
used substances and go, wow,you know, but they're a little weak,
I'm like, nah, they're strong.
Especially if they've gonethrough recovery, they're stronger
than anybody else.
Nice, Nice.
So then this comes up.
It brings up another topicwithin this is how do people deal
(09:02):
with shame and guilt?
Because I'm the shame andguilt in the midst of the stigma
is insane sometimes.
So how do people deal with that?
Oh, well, it was.
I had a lunch with GaryVaynerchuk, and he told me to write
my story, write a book.
He told me to put all my dirtyout there.
Because once I put it outthere, what can they say about me?
(09:24):
It's like the movie eight Mile.
You know, once at the end,Eminem said everything about them.
Nobody else could ever talkabout them.
So for me, that's what I did.
I wrote a book.
I told all my dirty.
So you can't say anything Ihaven't said about me already.
And.
And I think sometimes we justhave to be fearless and say, you
know, I once was a drugaddict, but now I have a beautiful
(09:46):
home, a beautiful wife, threebeautiful children.
I go out and I eat steak andlobster whenever I want to go out.
So for me, it's kind of like,well, that's who I was.
That's not who I am now.
It's kind of like, I love thestory that you could rob the old.
My old house because I don'tlive there anymore.
Right.
I don't live in.
I don't live in the shame,because if it wasn't for that, I
(10:10):
wouldn't be the man that I am today.
So I think sometimes we haveto take.
Make our mess.
Our mess.
Our message.
Kind of like David does.
Nice.
So, David, do you haveanything you want to say to that?
Yeah, I mean, that's reallywhat it comes down to, is take away
that power, you know?
Two weeks after my suicideattempt, I was called a bunch of
names.
And it broke me, but it alsomade my determination.
(10:34):
That's not who I am.
I mean, if you look at thatperson only five years ago, in five
years, I've got a TEDx talk, Ihave a podcast, I have number of
books.
Again, not about me.
Well, I'm not.
You want to tell my story?
Here you go, tell my story.
You want to think what you think.
Wait, you don't know me.
And if you knew me then andyou haven't seen me in five years,
(10:55):
you don't know me.
That's the thing, is you cando it.
And what I was saying beforeis rear view mirror thinking.
You know, when we drive ourcar, we're looking at the windshield,
it's much bigger.
Rear view mirror thinking isreally small, is, hey, and it's behind
you.
We don't drive going backwards.
We drive only going forward.
(11:16):
And that's what I do.
I don't mind.
You want to ask me questionsabout it.
The only thing I won't talkabout is how I attempted suicide.
Other than that, I'll talk toyou about my suicide attempt.
I'll talk to you about myfeelings around it.
I'll talk to you about myother mental health struggles because
that's how I grew and I'mcomfortable with it now.
There's this still stuff I'mnot comfortable with because it involves
(11:39):
other people and I don't wantto talk again.
We don't.
I don't want to tell anybodyelse's story.
I could tell you from myperspective and.
But the answer is, man, I wantmy story out there.
That's why I love being onpodcasts like yours Richard's, because
you never know who's going tohear it and how.
I know that is my talk.
(12:00):
I don't think it was aperformance that I would have liked
to give.
If I would give it, todaywould be completely different.
But where I'm going with thatis when I did it four years ago,
I had families that reachedout to me who needed to hear that
message.
I'm like, how'd they even hear it?
It didn't matter.
You never know where that oneperson is.
This is a saying in some ofthe Jewish learnings which says,
(12:23):
if you save one person, youhave saved the world.
So if I could save one personand then I'm good.
Sweet.
So, so then this brings up agood question because both of you
guys tend to be very type A,direct, hard charging people, right?
And I love the dynamics andthe depth of your stories.
I love it.
(12:44):
So then my question comes, andRichard, we're going to start with
you on this one.
So my question then becomes,what about people who aren't type
A that just can't decide?
We'll just go do it.
Because you guys are like,yeah, just do it.
Just go tell your story.
What about some of the otherpeople that are more passive or more
type B or I think, what is it,C or whatever it is after, who aren't
direct?
What would you say to thoseguys to help them make that transition,
(13:06):
to deal with that shame and guilt?
Well, for me, you know, Iwasn't that type A guy.
And the first time I actuallywent to a meeting was it was court
ordered and I was still drunkand hung over and in that meeting,
and I was as timid as can be.
And I'm 20 years old andhanging, hanging out, drinking nasty
(13:30):
cookies and drinking stalecoffee and listening to these guys.
And that's when I found a home.
But my sponsor told me, justsit down and shut up.
You don't know anything.
And just listen, get thereearly, make coffee and stay late.
So for me, I was the type C orD personality.
I didn't get that way until.
(13:50):
Until speaking a lot, becausethe only way you're going to be a
great speaker is speaking a lot.
And so for me, I spoke in alot of Jails, institutions.
But I was afraid to even speakup and tell my story.
When I got sober, I think ittook me almost a year just to speak
up in a meeting.
So I am that type Apersonality and the type D personality
(14:10):
sometimes in the same day.
That's.
That's fascinating.
That's.
I love it.
So.
So do it until it becomesnatural to you.
So I love how that.
How you're talking about that.
David, what would you say to that?
Yeah, you know, we always talkabout my bat, right?
You guys always think it's the violence.
It's about bringing awesome thoughts.
And really what it is, isfinding the balance.
(14:32):
When I talk about baseball,it's about when you hit the baseball
bat.
It's finding your balance.
So, like, even for me, like,here on a podcast, yeah, my energy
is going to be a little high,but there's plenty of times when
I'm by myself trying to bereally, really quiet.
Like, no TV or just the dog.
And I.
I ride in my car sometimeswith the radio off.
I've had friends get in thecar, and they're like, dude, what
(14:53):
are you, a monk?
And I'm like, sometimes I needto be.
I mean, again, when I go toconferences, yeah.
When I'm out my room, youknow, I might be higher energy.
I want to use my energy differently.
I know how to balance it.
And I also know there's times when.
At night when everybody'sstarting to get going, and I'm like,
(15:13):
no, I need to just go back tomy room to at least reset myself.
Learning how to reset yourself.
Much like that little handgesture I was talking about before
in the green room.
That's so powerful is beingable to acknowledge it.
I don't know that.
And maybe I'll ask Richard and yourself.
Prior.
Like, when we.
When we were doing the thingsthat were less good, I didn't always
(15:35):
control myself.
I was just like, all right,man, this is what I'm doing.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
I mean, again, growing up, my.
My nickname was Kid Ego.
You know, I was that guy.
At times, I got my buttkicked, but I still was Kid Ego.
You know, people talked aboutme, and it hurt me.
Kid Ego.
It's okay.
When I say my suicide attempt,Kid Ego died.
(15:55):
That's when you have to tellyour kids you guys are fathers.
When you have to tell yourkids you attempted suicide, man,
there's no ego there, buddy.
You know, there were teenagegirls, but for me, there's no ego
there.
I had to learn, and now I've learned.
It Triggers me and acknowledging.
And I just was talking tosomebody about that.
I go, it's beautiful in theworld when you can see it moving
(16:19):
differently, when you see thetrouble and people pushing your buttons.
Maybe people, family,especially around the holiday, you're
pushing buttons and you'relike, yeah, all right, that's on
you, man, not on me.
You don't have to say those words.
But if you could think thatand react differently, there's a
superpower.
I can go sit at a RichardBranson event and go get lost in
(16:40):
the back row, but I can hit mymusic mentally and I can be on the
stage at the same time.
So it all depends.
It all depends on thesituation, because sometimes, you
know, if I go to events, Iwant to be the dumbest guy in the
room.
This way I can learn everything.
I don't want to be thesmartest guy in any room, because
(17:01):
that way I'm not learning.
I already know what I know,but I don't know what Jim and I don't
know what Dave know.
So I think sometimes it'll.
It's in the military, we callit situational awareness.
Right.
So you just, you know, there'sa place in a time, I think, for everything
there is.
So.
So this brings up a goodquestion, and we're going to start
shifting gears a little bithere, too, because I want to go from,
(17:24):
you know, we started off withmental health, and because it's a
huge topic, very near and dearto my heart, and move into what you
guys do, respectively, for,you know, the communities in the
world.
Do you find.
And David, we'll start withyou on this one.
Do you find that your storiesthat you're talking about here is
what fueled you to start your business?
(17:44):
Or was there another catalystthat started and then this just kind
of merged with it?
Yeah, it never started that way.
You know, like I said, when Iwas going through my.
I got to college and was a.
Got my degree in behavioralscience, whatever that was worth,
but I was working in the legalindustry, so it was completely two
different worlds.
And then when I got myselfinto a deep situation, I went to
(18:06):
see a mental healthprofessional and I learned some techniques,
and it all started coming backto me.
Alignment.
You know, again, that whereGod comes into it, starts aligning
you.
You know, he kind of nudged methat way.
I still stayed with my ear,but I was diving into assisting people
with mental wellness.
And, you know, I thought I wastaking care of myself.
(18:28):
And then, you know, we justknow sometimes, like, I don't have
to do that.
I know what to do, but itdoesn't help us get where we need
to.
And I wasn't taking care ofmyself and eventually led to my suicide
attempt with a lot ofdifferent stories.
That's when God took the batto me and was like, it's time to
wake up now.
Stop messing up with time andstop getting distracted.
(18:51):
Boom.
And I woke up.
I mean, I was told I have thisstory, and that made me focus.
And even then, in my business,talking about mental wellness, as
you said earlier, is a real struggle.
People don't want to hear it,or there's a few people that do are
still struggling themselves.
(19:11):
We're looking for those branches.
Well, when I started writingmy story, writing the stories in
my books, which are not aboutme, I have four fiction books right
now and a few others comingout very shortly.
Because during the pandemic,the worst thing that could have happened
was I was alone.
I just started doing writing.
I started diving into myself,and I learned how to be comfortable
(19:35):
with myself most of the time.
And that's where my businesshas turned into shift.
I'm a FedEx speaker.
I'm a DTM in Toastmasters.
So I know how to speak, I knowwhat to do.
And then by writing, peoplewant to get their stories out.
They're afraid.
And because of my mentalwellness background, I can help you
overcome the challenges andobstacles of writing, getting on
(19:58):
stages, or then really takingit to that next level.
As Richard said, you're a speaker.
You got to speak.
Get your own podcast.
Good stuff, Richard.
Well, I'm not as smart as Mr.
David.
I'm not as.
I'm a ninth grade dropout.
I don't.
I didn't even.
I don't even have a GED, youknow, but I've read over 6, 000 books.
(20:19):
I got 18 books going rightnow, plus two audiobooks.
I'm an accidental podcaster.
This was never supposed to happen.
I was with gnc and I wouldjust try a new product and I'd make
a podcast about it.
I'd be like, yeah, this onetastes like ass, but it works great.
And people started listeningto it.
And then when I got hurt onduty and I lost 80 of my vision,
(20:43):
I had nothing else going for me.
18 months I sat in darknessand in silence until somebody says,
hey, why don't you hit thatrecord button again about what you're
going through?
Somebody else is going throughthe same thing.
So that's how the wholepodcast began.
And I got to thank Mr.
Gary Vaynerchuk.
He's the one that started.
He got.
He came up with the podcast,the Comeback Coach.
(21:04):
He came up with the name, hecame up with all that stuff.
If it wasn't for Gary Vee, Iwouldn't be doing what I'm doing.
But now it's just about payingit forward and helping people struggling
in life or business.
Because whether you're the CEOor the janitor, we're all struggling
with the same stuff.
It's just sometimes atdifferent levels.
(21:24):
So that's all I'm doing.
I'm the hope dealer now.
I went from dope dealing tohope dealing.
So I still love that.
When you started using thattagline, man, I was like, dude, that's
dope.
You see what I did right there?
But that was awesome, man.
I was like, that's great.
So.
But I do appreciate both ofy'all's stories because, you know,
what you guys are dealing withis what a lot of the listeners deal
(21:46):
with.
And the difference is, isyou're here speaking about it with
courage, while a lot of peoplewill never do that.
And I.
And that's a shame becauseeverybody's story is important.
So with that being said, sowhat do you find?
Let's talk about some of the positives.
Like, what do you find in thespaces that you're in?
Some of the wins, like, give.
Give us like a win that you've seen.
(22:07):
Like, man, this was awesome.
And why I do what I do.
Well, for me this week, I'm building.
I building my own podcaststudio in the back.
I just got notified yesterdayor the day before that I was ranked
right below Ed my let's podcast.
And then a week before, I wasranked right below Alex Hormozi's
(22:30):
podcast.
So sometimes I think that, youknow, and I've been on list same.
The same list as GaryVaynerchuk, Tim Ferriss.
So for me, it's kind of likethe people that I look up to now,
I'm actually can see is kindof as a level.
I mean, but then there's Joe Rogan.
That's where I'm shooting for next.
(22:50):
So I'm trying to be the GI Joe Rogan.
So, you know, for me, it's, It's.
It's not about braggingbecause it's.
It's all him.
I tell everybody it's all God.
God's doing it all.
I'm just trying to do what hetells me to do.
And just like, you know, Ilive in a six.
(23:11):
I went from being.
Living In a crack house threemiles away from my house.
My house is like, almostworth, like, almost $700,000.
I got three brand new cars andI went on six vacations this year.
But it's not me, it's him, right?
And as long as I give him theglory and give him the honor, then
I'm always going to be blessedand I'm always going to be highly
(23:32):
favored.
That's awesome, David.
Yeah.
No, so God, you know, startoff with the God, right?
It all is.
I.
I used to say I grew up againin the Jewish faith.
And I remember in collegetrying to ask this girl out, right?
And she goes, you're notJewish enough.
And I've always heard that inmy head.
And so that's why when I.
Until this year, I didn'treally embrace my relationship with
(23:55):
God.
I was always believing that Iwas not worthy of God in a lot of
different ways.
And then this year, I wasgiven some advice.
I was in a conference and Iheard, and I want everybody to think
about this is they always talkabout free will.
What if you gave back freewill to God?
(24:15):
What if you really trusted.
Not just like, all right, I'lltrust you.
Is the sun going to come out?
Yeah, the sun's going to come out.
You just might not see itbecause they're clouds.
What if you really gave almostevery decision?
You know, it's like that movie.
Yes, man.
Right.
Give it to.
Give it to God.
I've done that this year.
And the successes that I'vehad, when you ask me about success,
(24:36):
God puts the right people inyour pocket.
God puts the right people inyour way, man.
I got to tell you, that's whyhe asked me earlier, how am I doing?
I go, any better?
I'd be twins.
The opportunities that are coming.
And my win, one of my wins wasjust recently my friend who's 88.
I know, about eight or nineyears, and she says, dave, I need
(24:56):
to get my book out.
I go, okay, let's do it.
We started writing and workingtogether, and she starts crying,
and I go, oh, I'm sorry, stop.
She goes, no, no.
You're the only person thatI've ever met in 88 years that can
understand my story exactlythe way I want to tell it and be
(25:16):
able to get it out.
And you allowed me that safespace to tell my story the way I
want to, not the way we'regoing to tell it when the book comes
out.
And that's what it is.
Everybody wants their story.
I will tell you that Mostpeople, because I've sat with a lot
of people in recovery or stillusing that, they want their story
(25:37):
out.
They don't want thatlifestyle, but it's coming from somewhere
else.
I remember one night workingwith somebody, and he goes, dave,
you're gonna be upset with me.
I go, why am I gonna be upsetwith you?
I just used.
I go, you're sitting here infront of me, aren't you?
I go, you were a winner todaybecause you chose that while you
still were doing less goodbehavior, you went to seek somebody
(26:00):
to help you through that.
And that's where you tell that story.
There's a famous story aboutthe man who's caught in a hole, and
the first time they go down,they ask their friend, and their
friend gives them some advice,but it really isn't anything.
Just pick yourself up.
You'll get out of that hole.
Then you might go to religion,and religion is great, but they might
just send a prayer.
(26:21):
Well, prayers are going to hit you.
God will hit you with theright message.
When you're ready to listen,then you have somebody like Richard
who jumps in that hole, likeme, like Jim who jumps in that hole
and goes.
And then you think, we're both stuck.
But the magic with all threeof us is we know how to climb out
of that hole.
We know the way out becausewe've done it.
(26:43):
As Richard was talking about earlier.
That's why I don't likecalling myself a coach.
I'm a mentor.
I've been through it.
You know, you got a story.
I'm not trying to go story for story.
Most of people's stories aregoing to be worse than mine.
But I understand where youare, that empathy of meeting where
we are, that's where the power is.
And when you can meet somebodywhere they are, there's a lot of
(27:03):
things.
Goes back to what we weretalking about earlier, is how can
you be quiet and learn just by listening?
Right.
You know, in those rooms.
I've been in those rooms.
You listen to the story.
Part of the story is thattaking the power away from the negative
part of it, put some energyinto it, and energy leads to you,
to God.
(27:23):
And God is all about love.
Anything else is about man.
That's good stuff, both ofy'all, and so do you.
Let me just take a moment forhere to you guys who are listening
right now as we.
As we start to close out this episode.
Make sure you follow these guys.
They are both powerhouses.
And in the show notes,everything's gonna be linked in the
show notes.
And we just want to say thankyou for listening up to this far.
(27:44):
And as we start closing down,I do have two questions, one of them,
which if you know the show isgoing to be a wisdom bomb, so good
to give you the heads upcoming in there.
I do wisdom bomb every day.
And so that's just a shortlittle message that people, a portable
truth that people can takewith them.
So I'm going to ask you bothin a second, give me a portable truth,
a wisdom bomb that people canwalk off the show with.
But before I do that, I wantto ask you, because we, we've gone
(28:08):
on a journey today.
We've talked about mentalhealth, we talked about what you
guys do, we talked about some successes.
And so how do you guysspecifically, and it don't matter
which one of you guys start,how do you guys not quit?
Like when frustrations get toohigh or you're just in that space
because everybody falls inthat space sometimes, how do you
(28:28):
not quit?
I'll go first if you don't mind.
This may sound kind of, kindof morbid, but then I was going through
my wallet yesterday because Iwas doing some stuff with my mother
and I wrote my own obituary.
And I look at my obituaryevery day and in it it says, richard
Kaufman, you know, dies at 80or 100.
(28:49):
But he's a loving father, he'sa loving husband, he's devoted, he's
loyal to his friends and his family.
He's a five time best selling authority.
He's all these things.
And so for me, when I want toquit, I pull out my obituary and
say, well, if I quit, I'm notgoing to be that guy that I just
wrote about.
And I think, I think, youknow, because I think once you find
(29:12):
that's why I love DeanGraziosi's book.
I love when, when he talksabout the seven whys.
You know, when you find outwhat your why is and if you know
what your why is, then whenthings get tough, you're not going
to quit because your why isstronger than your quit.
That's good.
For me, it's growing up, myparents used to say, I'm done, right?
They would say that all the time.
(29:33):
And I didn't realize how muchof that carried with me.
But I've also now learned I'mdone for now, right?
It's a moment.
So if something happens to youin a moment, that doesn't mean the
rest of your life, you don'tneed to carry that on the rest of
Your life.
So for now, when I say, I'mdone, yeah, I might be done.
(29:53):
And I walk away.
And about 10 minutes later, Iget that burning desire.
Same thing.
After my suicide attempt, Iwanted to be a TEDx speaker.
I wanted to be more.
And I was like, God, what do I do?
How are you going to lead me?
Like, I am the lowest.
Nobody should see me.
I should dig a hole and allthose things.
And God's gonna.
God basically said, all right,I'm gonna plant you.
(30:15):
Okay?
When we plant you, it gets dark.
You're gonna have to gothrough some dark.
Are you brave enough to gothrough some.
Some of the darkness?
I said, God, I'm with you.
And that's really what it is,is how we see going forward.
Are you okay if you stoppeddoing what you do is there.
You poured everything out inthe universe.
And I'm like, no, even today, I.
(30:36):
I'm still pouring because Ithink of something else.
I get a.
I get a message.
I get a vision.
I get something.
You know, it might not be God.
It might just be me.
I don't.
You know, I don't know.
But the trust is what we dowith it.
And if you are okay with juststopping, then stop.
But until you find that othermark, you know, I talk about it,
(30:58):
and I don't want to take upmuch more time, but the spark of
the Phoenix, that's whatalways got me back.
Everybody believes the Phoenix dies.
It does not.
It's in the Bible.
It does not die.
God has granted the Phoenixultimate life.
Right?
It was in the story of Adamand Eve as well as in Noah.
But it doesn't die.
(31:18):
It turns to ashes.
And that's why we think it died.
And what reignited is thespark of God.
And that's one of thequestions I ask when I talk to people.
Do you believe you still havethe spark of God?
You might not feel it.
You believe you have it.
If you believe you have it,that's what can always turn you up.
Sweet.
All right, so with that beingsaid, we're going to go ahead and,
you know, as we land theplane, said, wisdom bomb.
(31:41):
So a portable truth.
So let's go start with you, Richard.
What is a wisdom bomb that youcan leave for the audience?
Well, every year I have my own.
Today I decide Mental Health Summit.
This year it's going to beApril 7th.
It's going to be virtual.
And the reason why I call itthat is because the three most important
words in the English language are.
(32:02):
Today I decide.
I decide or we decide if we'regoing to be a victor or a victim.
Every morning we get it, wewake up, we get another chance to
be a victim of our past or thevictor of our present and our future.
So what are you guys,including talking about the audience
(32:22):
too?
What are you guys deciding todo today?
Do you want to be the victimor the victor?
It's your choice, David.
Yeah, I'm just gonna say thinkabout a butterfly.
A butterfly is so powerful.
Butterfly started as acaterpillar, turned into the butterfly.
That's an ugly process if youdon't know what it is.
(32:44):
They get into that cocoon, itbecome, they, they become liquid,
they turn into something, andthen it becomes a butterfly.
But the really trick about thebutterfly also is it doesn't realize
how beautiful its wings are,how powerful its wings are.
And that's from everybody elseseeing it, because it doesn't care.
It knows who it, who it is.
(33:06):
And when the storms get reallytight, what does a butterfly do?
It hides.
It knows the power of where itneeds to go to go back into itself.
So just think about, whileyou're going through the toughest
parts of your life, thinkabout a butterfly and know that you're
a butterfly.
If you're in what stage you'rein, you could be flying.
You could be in thatmetamorphosis stage when it's really
(33:27):
gooey, or you could be acaterpillar just walking along, figuring
things out.
All of those stages are powerful.
So with that being said, guys,how do we find you?
Let's, let's, let's make surethe audience can connect with each
one of you guys.
So, David, you go first.
How do we find you?
All right, I'm on Facebook,Instagram, LinkedIn.
The great thing about the lastname she met Ski.
(33:49):
We ain't too many of us.
So if you see a DavidChemetzky, it's going to be me.
I think I might be the onlyDavid Chemitzky in the world.
You know, it's David Chametzkydot com.
Check out my podcast, Peace,Love and bring a Bat.
And it's all about bringingawesome thoughts and being authentic
today.
Sweet.
David.
Richard.
(34:09):
Well, like.
And I felt I followed GaryVaynerchuk's teachings and you can
always look for vertical momentum.
We are on the first 12 pagesof Google.
So even if you just Googlevertical momentum, we're on the first
12 pages.
We're on 36 different platforms.
So wherever you're at, we're at.
(34:30):
So that's awesome.
So with that being said to thelistener, thank you so much for getting
to this part of the episode.
We appreciate you, David Richard.
We thank you so much forhaving an impromptu paddle.
We started off with solo butended up as a panel.
So I think I appreciate that.
Thank you.
And then and again to the listener.
All of this will be in theshow notes because we're going to
make it the easiest we canmake it so you can find these guys
(34:52):
and I highly, highly, highlyencourage you to connect with each
one of them, hit them up onthe socials, check their podcast
out because they arepowerhouses and your life will be
different as you listen.
And with that being said, youhave been listening to Grace in the
Grind where we're here toequip, to empower and to encourage
you to do all that God hascalled you to.
Thank you so much for hangingout with us and we'll see you on
(35:13):
a future episode.
This has been Grace in the Grind.
Whether you're a Christianleader looking for guidance or an
entrepreneur seekinginspiration, it's Jim's passion to
equip and encourage you.
Make sure to check out Jim'ssolo episodes where he shares practical
leadership insights groundedin a biblical perspective.
We hope you've enjoyed the show.
(35:35):
If you did, make sure to like,rate and review and we'll be back
soon.
But in the meantime, find uson social media LeadWithJim and you
can also hit the website at www.leadwithjim.com.
take care of yourself andwe'll see you next time on Grace
(35:55):
in the Grind.
Welcome to Grace and theGrind, the podcast where we dive
deep into the journeys ofheart centered and purpose driven
leaders and entrepreneurs.
We're here to equip andencourage you on your journey.
So let's get started and findthe grace within the grind.
This is Grace in the Grind.
And now your host, Jim Burgoon.
(00:22):
Welcome to Grace in the Grind,where we're here to empower, to encourage,
and to equip you to do allthat God has called you to do.
And today I have actually twofriends with me, which was, which
is real fun.
This is our first time.
We're doing a, basically apanel episode.
I've got my friend Dave andRichard, and they're gonna take a
second to introduce themselves.
But guys, as we go into thisepisode, make sure you hit the follow
(00:44):
button and then make sure youalso engage because we'd love to
hear from you.
We'd love to hear somequestions and things on this show
and maybe future shows.
So, guys, Dave, Richard,welcome to the show today.
Thank you so much, man.
I'm so excited.
So let's, let's do this.
So, so that the audience havean understanding of who's here today.
Let's do about 90 seconds tojust give us a quick intro.
What do you do?
(01:05):
Who'd like to go first?
David is the man with.
The man with the plane.
All right, David, I'll go.
No problem.
So, so, Dave Chimetzky, what Ido is I help people write their stories,
get their stories on stages,or create a podcast like this.
You know, it's all aboutaligning ourselves.
And we'll talk about that alittle bit later.
But it's, you know, the Graceand the Grind is really all about
(01:28):
aligning ourselves, not onlyfor business, but in our personal
lives.
So we'll talk a little bit more.
And you see my little nameunder there, the Goonfather.
I also have a charity calledGoons for Good.
Part of my alignment of who Iam and what I do.
And, you know, being on theshow with you, Jim and Richard, man,
(01:48):
I align myselves with amazinghumans like yourselves.
Well, thank you, Sarah.
Richard, let's.
Let's hear from you.
My name is Richard Kaufman,also known as the Comeback Coach.
I'm an author, podcaster,speaker, but most of all, I'm somebody
that went from dope dealer tohope dealer.
So for me, now I'm just tryingto help people struggling in life
(02:10):
and business and also helppeople launch podcasts like mine
that has been.
That's hit the top point fivepercent in the world.
And it's all about paying it forward.
Awesome.
Yeah.
I want to, I want to say justa shout out to you because I know
you just hit 2.5 milliondownloads on your podcast, man.
So just congratulations on that.
I'm very excited, dude.
(02:31):
Very excited for that.
God is good.
He is all the time.
So with you guys both having,you know, for you.
Richard, who says, the mentalhealth advocate, David, you have
a big background helpingpeople with mental health.
Let's start there because Ifind that mental health is a big
topic that is oftentimes nottalked about.
(02:51):
So with that being said, howdid you guys get into being advocates
or helping people with mental health?
How did you guys get into thatwhole theme or that whole niche that,
that you guys are working in?
I guess I'm starting.
I got in because I got thrownto the deep end.
You know, life got a littletoo much for me and I sought out
mental help.
(03:12):
And truthfully, back in theday, when I started in college, I
was taking behavioral sciences.
That's what I got mybachelor's degree in.
People bring you throughsometimes really slowly, and then
other times he's going tobring you by pushing you down the
flight of stairs.
And I only learn when I getpushed down the flight of stairs.
(03:32):
And, you know, and that'sreally how it came.
It started building upon it.
And then I started seeingwhere God was bringing me.
And I didn't even admit thatit was God, but I was like, all right,
all these things align up in away that's become so much more powerful.
And you see that, you see thatthrough line.
And that's why it's soimportant to know what our through
(03:54):
line is.
We take the time out of ourtraumas, remove ourselves out of
those traumas, then have theability to see much more clearly.
Right?
Nobody believed Moses, youknow, at the beginning, and then
at the end they followed him.
That's what we need to do asall of us is having that ability
to see, follow through ourvision when others can.
(04:16):
And then they start going, Iget it now, it's your vision.
But it comes through a lot ofdifferent ways.
For me, I'm in recovery 36 years.
I haven't had a drink since 1989.
I'm a two time suicide survivor.
So I'm 60, blind, due to, dueto, in the military.
(04:38):
So I've had to come back a lot.
And, and I figured there'smore people out there like me, so
why don't I just, you know,take the bullets for them while they're,
while they're getting up andtrying to get healthy again.
So that's what I believe.
And I believe that you can'treally help somebody that's in the
storm unless you've been inthe storm.
(05:02):
You can reach out, reach downand help them up because they know
you've been there, you've done that.
And you can.
And you can tell.
You're not just tellingstories, you're actually telling
war stories.
So what do you guys findthat's been the hardest challenge?
Like, so, like, if, for youguys who are listening, if you, if
you heard my story, my wife isdiagnosed with multiple mental illnesses.
(05:25):
I have CPTSD and a few things.
And so, like, what do you findhas been the most challenging in
working with people with thisand, or actually having people open
up about this?
What have you been finding themost challenges?
Well, recently.
I'm sorry, recently it's beenpeople in recovery because they're
(05:46):
telling me, well, you'resupposed to be anonymous.
You're not supposed to tellyour story.
You're not supposed to be inpress, radio and film.
And I'm in all of that.
I figure I can help millionsof people instead of just being in
a room with 10 people.
And so I'm getting on by a lotof people that are in the recovery
space.
It's kind of weird.
They're like, wait a minute,we're supposed to be an anonymity.
(06:09):
And I'm like, I won't tellabout you.
You know, I'll tell about me,but I'm not going to tell about you.
If, if I see you in a meetingthat stays between us.
I don't, I'll never say that.
But people are like, well, youknow, according to the big book,
you know, press, radio andfilms, you're supposed to have anonymity.
Well, I got a movie coming outand it's all about what we're talking
(06:30):
about.
So.
And a lot of people don'tthink you, you get on by the people
that are in the recoverycircles, but it happens a lot.
Yeah.
And go on.
That is the stigma.
Right.
So if Richard wants to tellhis story or anybody wants to tell
their story, it's their story.
Now, if Richard's telling mystory, that's the confidence.
(06:50):
And I know he wouldn't, youknow, unless I've allowed it.
And that's why I share my story.
And that's part of the problemwe have in society.
Hey, Jim, you have a problem.
Just don't tell anybody.
Why don't you sit down.
Yeah, it's nice.
And that's it.
No, it's the opposite.
So I also, you know, to add onto that, what happened with my story,
(07:11):
I attempted suicide.
And during my attempt, itsaid, you have to go tell your story.
It's not your time.
Go tell your story.
And I didn't realize it until recently.
I thought it was just aboutthe mental wellness.
I'm an author also, and as I'mwriting this other book, I had a
download from God, and hegoes, it's not only your story.
Don't think, you know, like,almost as a joke, don't think you're
(07:35):
so special that it's aboutyour story.
It's the idea of curating thatsafe space, removing those stigmas.
Because in the substance abuseI worked, I was a recovery coach.
This horrible stigmas.
When you hear about recovery,what do you see?
You see the needle and the spoon.
You want to know one trick?
What's horrible about that?
It's dirty, right?
(07:56):
Even in the language we use.
Are you clean?
No, no, we'll always clean.
Or maybe not.
Maybe you didn't shower, butthat doesn't make you not clean.
A lot of the overdose deathswere not drug addicts.
There were people in areaslike mine, Massapequa, which was
the number one overdose deatharea for the longest time.
(08:17):
But it was prescription drugs.
It was the opioids that theygot from doctors.
So let's change those stigmas.
And that's why, speaking aboutmental wellness and recovery, that's
why whenever I see somebodylike Richard, who's been in recovery,
long term recovery, you'restill in recovery.
But I.
That's a warrior to fightthrough those things, that's real
(08:41):
power.
That's why when you say, whenpeople see somebody who might have
used substances and go, wow,you know, but they're a little weak,
I'm like, nah, they're strong.
Especially if they've gonethrough recovery, they're stronger
than anybody else.
Nice, Nice.
So then this comes up.
It brings up another topicwithin this is how do people deal
(09:02):
with shame and guilt?
Because I'm the shame andguilt in the midst of the stigma
is insane sometimes.
So how do people deal with that?
Oh, well, it was.
I had a lunch with GaryVaynerchuk, and he told me to write
my story, write a book.
He told me to put all my dirtyout there.
Because once I put it outthere, what can they say about me?
(09:24):
It's like the movie eight Mile.
You know, once at the end,Eminem said everything about them.
Nobody else could ever talkabout them.
So for me, that's what I did.
I wrote a book.
I told all my dirty.
So you can't say anything Ihaven't said about me already.
And.
And I think sometimes we justhave to be fearless and say, you
know, I once was a drugaddict, but now I have a beautiful
(09:46):
home, a beautiful wife, threebeautiful children.
I go out and I eat steak andlobster whenever I want to go out.
So for me, it's kind of like,well, that's who I was.
That's not who I am now.
It's kind of like, I love thestory that you could rob the old.
My old house because I don'tlive there anymore.
Right.
I don't live in.
I don't live in the shame,because if it wasn't for that, I
(10:10):
wouldn't be the man that I am today.
So I think sometimes we haveto take.
Make our mess.
Our mess.
Our message.
Kind of like David does.
Nice.
So, David, do you haveanything you want to say to that?
Yeah, I mean, that's reallywhat it comes down to, is take away
that power, you know?
Two weeks after my suicideattempt, I was called a bunch of
names.
And it broke me, but it alsomade my determination.
(10:34):
That's not who I am.
I mean, if you look at thatperson only five years ago, in five
years, I've got a TEDx talk, Ihave a podcast, I have number of
books.
Again, not about me.
Well, I'm not.
You want to tell my story?
Here you go, tell my story.
You want to think what you think.
Wait, you don't know me.
And if you knew me then andyou haven't seen me in five years,
(10:55):
you don't know me.
That's the thing, is you cando it.
And what I was saying beforeis rear view mirror thinking.
You know, when we drive ourcar, we're looking at the windshield,
it's much bigger.
Rear view mirror thinking isreally small, is, hey, and it's behind
you.
We don't drive going backwards.
We drive only going forward.
(11:16):
And that's what I do.
I don't mind.
You want to ask me questionsabout it.
The only thing I won't talkabout is how I attempted suicide.
Other than that, I'll talk toyou about my suicide attempt.
I'll talk to you about myfeelings around it.
I'll talk to you about myother mental health struggles because
that's how I grew and I'mcomfortable with it now.
There's this still stuff I'mnot comfortable with because it involves
(11:39):
other people and I don't wantto talk again.
We don't.
I don't want to tell anybodyelse's story.
I could tell you from myperspective and.
But the answer is, man, I wantmy story out there.
That's why I love being onpodcasts like yours Richard's, because
you never know who's going tohear it and how.
I know that is my talk.
(12:00):
I don't think it was aperformance that I would have liked
to give.
If I would give it, todaywould be completely different.
But where I'm going with thatis when I did it four years ago,
I had families that reachedout to me who needed to hear that
message.
I'm like, how'd they even hear it?
It didn't matter.
You never know where that oneperson is.
This is a saying in some ofthe Jewish learnings which says,
(12:23):
if you save one person, youhave saved the world.
So if I could save one personand then I'm good.
Sweet.
So, so then this brings up agood question because both of you
guys tend to be very type A,direct, hard charging people, right?
And I love the dynamics andthe depth of your stories.
I love it.
(12:44):
So then my question comes, andRichard, we're going to start with
you on this one.
So my question then becomes,what about people who aren't type
A that just can't decide?
We'll just go do it.
Because you guys are like,yeah, just do it.
Just go tell your story.
What about some of the otherpeople that are more passive or more
type B or I think, what is it,C or whatever it is after, who aren't
direct?
What would you say to thoseguys to help them make that transition,
(13:06):
to deal with that shame and guilt?
Well, for me, you know, Iwasn't that type A guy.
And the first time I actuallywent to a meeting was it was court
ordered and I was still drunkand hung over and in that meeting,
and I was as timid as can be.
And I'm 20 years old andhanging, hanging out, drinking nasty
(13:30):
cookies and drinking stalecoffee and listening to these guys.
And that's when I found a home.
But my sponsor told me, justsit down and shut up.
You don't know anything.
And just listen, get thereearly, make coffee and stay late.
So for me, I was the type C orD personality.
I didn't get that way until.
(13:50):
Until speaking a lot, becausethe only way you're going to be a
great speaker is speaking a lot.
And so for me, I spoke in alot of Jails, institutions.
But I was afraid to even speakup and tell my story.
When I got sober, I think ittook me almost a year just to speak
up in a meeting.
So I am that type Apersonality and the type D personality
(14:10):
sometimes in the same day.
That's.
That's fascinating.
That's.
I love it.
So.
So do it until it becomesnatural to you.
So I love how that.
How you're talking about that.
David, what would you say to that?
Yeah, you know, we always talkabout my bat, right?
You guys always think it's the violence.
It's about bringing awesome thoughts.
And really what it is, isfinding the balance.
(14:32):
When I talk about baseball,it's about when you hit the baseball
bat.
It's finding your balance.
So, like, even for me, like,here on a podcast, yeah, my energy
is going to be a little high,but there's plenty of times when
I'm by myself trying to bereally, really quiet.
Like, no TV or just the dog.
And I.
I ride in my car sometimeswith the radio off.
I've had friends get in thecar, and they're like, dude, what
(14:53):
are you, a monk?
And I'm like, sometimes I needto be.
I mean, again, when I go toconferences, yeah.
When I'm out my room, youknow, I might be higher energy.
I want to use my energy differently.
I know how to balance it.
And I also know there's times when.
At night when everybody'sstarting to get going, and I'm like,
(15:13):
no, I need to just go back tomy room to at least reset myself.
Learning how to reset yourself.
Much like that little handgesture I was talking about before
in the green room.
That's so powerful is beingable to acknowledge it.
I don't know that.
And maybe I'll ask Richard and yourself.
Prior.
Like, when we.
When we were doing the thingsthat were less good, I didn't always
(15:35):
control myself.
I was just like, all right,man, this is what I'm doing.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
I mean, again, growing up, my.
My nickname was Kid Ego.
You know, I was that guy.
At times, I got my buttkicked, but I still was Kid Ego.
You know, people talked aboutme, and it hurt me.
Kid Ego.
It's okay.
When I say my suicide attempt,Kid Ego died.
(15:55):
That's when you have to tellyour kids you guys are fathers.
When you have to tell yourkids you attempted suicide, man,
there's no ego there, buddy.
You know, there were teenagegirls, but for me, there's no ego
there.
I had to learn, and now I've learned.
It Triggers me and acknowledging.
And I just was talking tosomebody about that.
I go, it's beautiful in theworld when you can see it moving
(16:19):
differently, when you see thetrouble and people pushing your buttons.
Maybe people, family,especially around the holiday, you're
pushing buttons and you'relike, yeah, all right, that's on
you, man, not on me.
You don't have to say those words.
But if you could think thatand react differently, there's a
superpower.
I can go sit at a RichardBranson event and go get lost in
(16:40):
the back row, but I can hit mymusic mentally and I can be on the
stage at the same time.
So it all depends.
It all depends on thesituation, because sometimes, you
know, if I go to events, Iwant to be the dumbest guy in the
room.
This way I can learn everything.
I don't want to be thesmartest guy in any room, because
(17:01):
that way I'm not learning.
I already know what I know,but I don't know what Jim and I don't
know what Dave know.
So I think sometimes it'll.
It's in the military, we callit situational awareness.
Right.
So you just, you know, there'sa place in a time, I think, for everything
there is.
So.
So this brings up a goodquestion, and we're going to start
shifting gears a little bithere, too, because I want to go from,
(17:24):
you know, we started off withmental health, and because it's a
huge topic, very near and dearto my heart, and move into what you
guys do, respectively, for,you know, the communities in the
world.
Do you find.
And David, we'll start withyou on this one.
Do you find that your storiesthat you're talking about here is
what fueled you to start your business?
(17:44):
Or was there another catalystthat started and then this just kind
of merged with it?
Yeah, it never started that way.
You know, like I said, when Iwas going through my.
I got to college and was a.
Got my degree in behavioralscience, whatever that was worth,
but I was working in the legalindustry, so it was completely two
different worlds.
And then when I got myselfinto a deep situation, I went to
(18:06):
see a mental healthprofessional and I learned some techniques,
and it all started coming backto me.
Alignment.
You know, again, that whereGod comes into it, starts aligning
you.
You know, he kind of nudged methat way.
I still stayed with my ear,but I was diving into assisting people
with mental wellness.
And, you know, I thought I wastaking care of myself.
(18:28):
And then, you know, we justknow sometimes, like, I don't have
to do that.
I know what to do, but itdoesn't help us get where we need
to.
And I wasn't taking care ofmyself and eventually led to my suicide
attempt with a lot ofdifferent stories.
That's when God took the batto me and was like, it's time to
wake up now.
Stop messing up with time andstop getting distracted.
(18:51):
Boom.
And I woke up.
I mean, I was told I have thisstory, and that made me focus.
And even then, in my business,talking about mental wellness, as
you said earlier, is a real struggle.
People don't want to hear it,or there's a few people that do are
still struggling themselves.
(19:11):
We're looking for those branches.
Well, when I started writingmy story, writing the stories in
my books, which are not aboutme, I have four fiction books right
now and a few others comingout very shortly.
Because during the pandemic,the worst thing that could have happened
was I was alone.
I just started doing writing.
I started diving into myself,and I learned how to be comfortable
(19:35):
with myself most of the time.
And that's where my businesshas turned into shift.
I'm a FedEx speaker.
I'm a DTM in Toastmasters.
So I know how to speak, I knowwhat to do.
And then by writing, peoplewant to get their stories out.
They're afraid.
And because of my mentalwellness background, I can help you
overcome the challenges andobstacles of writing, getting on
(19:58):
stages, or then really takingit to that next level.
As Richard said, you're a speaker.
You got to speak.
Get your own podcast.
Good stuff, Richard.
Well, I'm not as smart as Mr.
David.
I'm not as.
I'm a ninth grade dropout.
I don't.
I didn't even.
I don't even have a GED, youknow, but I've read over 6, 000 books.
(20:19):
I got 18 books going rightnow, plus two audiobooks.
I'm an accidental podcaster.
This was never supposed to happen.
I was with gnc and I wouldjust try a new product and I'd make
a podcast about it.
I'd be like, yeah, this onetastes like ass, but it works great.
And people started listeningto it.
And then when I got hurt onduty and I lost 80 of my vision,
(20:43):
I had nothing else going for me.
18 months I sat in darknessand in silence until somebody says,
hey, why don't you hit thatrecord button again about what you're
going through?
Somebody else is going throughthe same thing.
So that's how the wholepodcast began.
And I got to thank Mr.
Gary Vaynerchuk.
He's the one that started.
He got.
He came up with the podcast,the Comeback Coach.
(21:04):
He came up with the name, hecame up with all that stuff.
If it wasn't for Gary Vee, Iwouldn't be doing what I'm doing.
But now it's just about payingit forward and helping people struggling
in life or business.
Because whether you're the CEOor the janitor, we're all struggling
with the same stuff.
It's just sometimes atdifferent levels.
(21:24):
So that's all I'm doing.
I'm the hope dealer now.
I went from dope dealing tohope dealing.
So I still love that.
When you started using thattagline, man, I was like, dude, that's
dope.
You see what I did right there?
But that was awesome, man.
I was like, that's great.
So.
But I do appreciate both ofy'all's stories because, you know,
what you guys are dealing withis what a lot of the listeners deal
(21:46):
with.
And the difference is, isyou're here speaking about it with
courage, while a lot of peoplewill never do that.
And I.
And that's a shame becauseeverybody's story is important.
So with that being said, sowhat do you find?
Let's talk about some of the positives.
Like, what do you find in thespaces that you're in?
Some of the wins, like, give.
Give us like a win that you've seen.
(22:07):
Like, man, this was awesome.
And why I do what I do.
Well, for me this week, I'm building.
I building my own podcaststudio in the back.
I just got notified yesterdayor the day before that I was ranked
right below Ed my let's podcast.
And then a week before, I wasranked right below Alex Hormozi's
(22:30):
podcast.
So sometimes I think that, youknow, and I've been on list same.
The same list as GaryVaynerchuk, Tim Ferriss.
So for me, it's kind of likethe people that I look up to now,
I'm actually can see is kindof as a level.
I mean, but then there's Joe Rogan.
That's where I'm shooting for next.
(22:50):
So I'm trying to be the GI Joe Rogan.
So, you know, for me, it's, It's.
It's not about braggingbecause it's.
It's all him.
I tell everybody it's all God.
God's doing it all.
I'm just trying to do what hetells me to do.
And just like, you know, Ilive in a six.
(23:11):
I went from being.
Living In a crack house threemiles away from my house.
My house is like, almostworth, like, almost $700,000.
I got three brand new cars andI went on six vacations this year.
But it's not me, it's him, right?
And as long as I give him theglory and give him the honor, then
I'm always going to be blessedand I'm always going to be highly
(23:32):
favored.
That's awesome, David.
Yeah.
No, so God, you know, startoff with the God, right?
It all is.
I.
I used to say I grew up againin the Jewish faith.
And I remember in collegetrying to ask this girl out, right?
And she goes, you're notJewish enough.
And I've always heard that inmy head.
And so that's why when I.
Until this year, I didn'treally embrace my relationship with
(23:55):
God.
I was always believing that Iwas not worthy of God in a lot of
different ways.
And then this year, I wasgiven some advice.
I was in a conference and Iheard, and I want everybody to think
about this is they always talkabout free will.
What if you gave back freewill to God?
(24:15):
What if you really trusted.
Not just like, all right, I'lltrust you.
Is the sun going to come out?
Yeah, the sun's going to come out.
You just might not see itbecause they're clouds.
What if you really gave almostevery decision?
You know, it's like that movie.
Yes, man.
Right.
Give it to.
Give it to God.
I've done that this year.
And the successes that I'vehad, when you ask me about success,
(24:36):
God puts the right people inyour pocket.
God puts the right people inyour way, man.
I got to tell you, that's whyhe asked me earlier, how am I doing?
I go, any better?
I'd be twins.
The opportunities that are coming.
And my win, one of my wins wasjust recently my friend who's 88.
I know, about eight or nineyears, and she says, dave, I need
(24:56):
to get my book out.
I go, okay, let's do it.
We started writing and workingtogether, and she starts crying,
and I go, oh, I'm sorry, stop.
She goes, no, no.
You're the only person thatI've ever met in 88 years that can
understand my story exactlythe way I want to tell it and be
(25:16):
able to get it out.
And you allowed me that safespace to tell my story the way I
want to, not the way we'regoing to tell it when the book comes
out.
And that's what it is.
Everybody wants their story.
I will tell you that Mostpeople, because I've sat with a lot
of people in recovery or stillusing that, they want their story
(25:37):
out.
They don't want thatlifestyle, but it's coming from somewhere
else.
I remember one night workingwith somebody, and he goes, dave,
you're gonna be upset with me.
I go, why am I gonna be upsetwith you?
I just used.
I go, you're sitting here infront of me, aren't you?
I go, you were a winner todaybecause you chose that while you
still were doing less goodbehavior, you went to seek somebody
(26:00):
to help you through that.
And that's where you tell that story.
There's a famous story aboutthe man who's caught in a hole, and
the first time they go down,they ask their friend, and their
friend gives them some advice,but it really isn't anything.
Just pick yourself up.
You'll get out of that hole.
Then you might go to religion,and religion is great, but they might
just send a prayer.
(26:21):
Well, prayers are going to hit you.
God will hit you with theright message.
When you're ready to listen,then you have somebody like Richard
who jumps in that hole, likeme, like Jim who jumps in that hole
and goes.
And then you think, we're both stuck.
But the magic with all threeof us is we know how to climb out
of that hole.
We know the way out becausewe've done it.
(26:43):
As Richard was talking about earlier.
That's why I don't likecalling myself a coach.
I'm a mentor.
I've been through it.
You know, you got a story.
I'm not trying to go story for story.
Most of people's stories aregoing to be worse than mine.
But I understand where youare, that empathy of meeting where
we are, that's where the power is.
And when you can meet somebodywhere they are, there's a lot of
(27:03):
things.
Goes back to what we weretalking about earlier, is how can
you be quiet and learn just by listening?
Right.
You know, in those rooms.
I've been in those rooms.
You listen to the story.
Part of the story is thattaking the power away from the negative
part of it, put some energyinto it, and energy leads to you,
to God.
(27:23):
And God is all about love.
Anything else is about man.
That's good stuff, both ofy'all, and so do you.
Let me just take a moment forhere to you guys who are listening
right now as we.
As we start to close out this episode.
Make sure you follow these guys.
They are both powerhouses.
And in the show notes,everything's gonna be linked in the
show notes.
And we just want to say thankyou for listening up to this far.
(27:44):
And as we start closing down,I do have two questions, one of them,
which if you know the show isgoing to be a wisdom bomb, so good
to give you the heads upcoming in there.
I do wisdom bomb every day.
And so that's just a shortlittle message that people, a portable
truth that people can takewith them.
So I'm going to ask you bothin a second, give me a portable truth,
a wisdom bomb that people canwalk off the show with.
But before I do that, I wantto ask you, because we, we've gone
(28:08):
on a journey today.
We've talked about mentalhealth, we talked about what you
guys do, we talked about some successes.
And so how do you guysspecifically, and it don't matter
which one of you guys start,how do you guys not quit?
Like when frustrations get toohigh or you're just in that space
because everybody falls inthat space sometimes, how do you
(28:28):
not quit?
I'll go first if you don't mind.
This may sound kind of, kindof morbid, but then I was going through
my wallet yesterday because Iwas doing some stuff with my mother
and I wrote my own obituary.
And I look at my obituaryevery day and in it it says, richard
Kaufman, you know, dies at 80or 100.
(28:49):
But he's a loving father, he'sa loving husband, he's devoted, he's
loyal to his friends and his family.
He's a five time best selling authority.
He's all these things.
And so for me, when I want toquit, I pull out my obituary and
say, well, if I quit, I'm notgoing to be that guy that I just
wrote about.
And I think, I think, youknow, because I think once you find
(29:12):
that's why I love DeanGraziosi's book.
I love when, when he talksabout the seven whys.
You know, when you find outwhat your why is and if you know
what your why is, then whenthings get tough, you're not going
to quit because your why isstronger than your quit.
That's good.
For me, it's growing up, myparents used to say, I'm done, right?
They would say that all the time.
(29:33):
And I didn't realize how muchof that carried with me.
But I've also now learned I'mdone for now, right?
It's a moment.
So if something happens to youin a moment, that doesn't mean the
rest of your life, you don'tneed to carry that on the rest of
Your life.
So for now, when I say, I'mdone, yeah, I might be done.
(29:53):
And I walk away.
And about 10 minutes later, Iget that burning desire.
Same thing.
After my suicide attempt, Iwanted to be a TEDx speaker.
I wanted to be more.
And I was like, God, what do I do?
How are you going to lead me?
Like, I am the lowest.
Nobody should see me.
I should dig a hole and allthose things.
And God's gonna.
God basically said, all right,I'm gonna plant you.
(30:15):
Okay?
When we plant you, it gets dark.
You're gonna have to gothrough some dark.
Are you brave enough to gothrough some.
Some of the darkness?
I said, God, I'm with you.
And that's really what it is,is how we see going forward.
Are you okay if you stoppeddoing what you do is there.
You poured everything out inthe universe.
And I'm like, no, even today, I.
(30:36):
I'm still pouring because Ithink of something else.
I get a.
I get a message.
I get a vision.
I get something.
You know, it might not be God.
It might just be me.
I don't.
You know, I don't know.
But the trust is what we dowith it.
And if you are okay with juststopping, then stop.
But until you find that othermark, you know, I talk about it,
(30:58):
and I don't want to take upmuch more time, but the spark of
the Phoenix, that's whatalways got me back.
Everybody believes the Phoenix dies.
It does not.
It's in the Bible.
It does not die.
God has granted the Phoenixultimate life.
Right?
It was in the story of Adamand Eve as well as in Noah.
But it doesn't die.
(31:18):
It turns to ashes.
And that's why we think it died.
And what reignited is thespark of God.
And that's one of thequestions I ask when I talk to people.
Do you believe you still havethe spark of God?
You might not feel it.
You believe you have it.
If you believe you have it,that's what can always turn you up.
Sweet.
All right, so with that beingsaid, we're going to go ahead and,
you know, as we land theplane, said, wisdom bomb.
(31:41):
So a portable truth.
So let's go start with you, Richard.
What is a wisdom bomb that youcan leave for the audience?
Well, every year I have my own.
Today I decide Mental Health Summit.
This year it's going to beApril 7th.
It's going to be virtual.
And the reason why I call itthat is because the three most important
words in the English language are.
(32:02):
Today I decide.
I decide or we decide if we'regoing to be a victor or a victim.
Every morning we get it, wewake up, we get another chance to
be a victim of our past or thevictor of our present and our future.
So what are you guys,including talking about the audience
(32:22):
too?
What are you guys deciding todo today?
Do you want to be the victimor the victor?
It's your choice, David.
Yeah, I'm just gonna say thinkabout a butterfly.
A butterfly is so powerful.
Butterfly started as acaterpillar, turned into the butterfly.
That's an ugly process if youdon't know what it is.
(32:44):
They get into that cocoon, itbecome, they, they become liquid,
they turn into something, andthen it becomes a butterfly.
But the really trick about thebutterfly also is it doesn't realize
how beautiful its wings are,how powerful its wings are.
And that's from everybody elseseeing it, because it doesn't care.
It knows who it, who it is.
(33:06):
And when the storms get reallytight, what does a butterfly do?
It hides.
It knows the power of where itneeds to go to go back into itself.
So just think about, whileyou're going through the toughest
parts of your life, thinkabout a butterfly and know that you're
a butterfly.
If you're in what stage you'rein, you could be flying.
You could be in thatmetamorphosis stage when it's really
(33:27):
gooey, or you could be acaterpillar just walking along, figuring
things out.
All of those stages are powerful.
So with that being said, guys,how do we find you?
Let's, let's, let's make surethe audience can connect with each
one of you guys.
So, David, you go first.
How do we find you?
All right, I'm on Facebook,Instagram, LinkedIn.
The great thing about the lastname she met Ski.
(33:49):
We ain't too many of us.
So if you see a DavidChemetzky, it's going to be me.
I think I might be the onlyDavid Chemitzky in the world.
You know, it's David Chametzkydot com.
Check out my podcast, Peace,Love and bring a Bat.
And it's all about bringingawesome thoughts and being authentic
today.
Sweet.
David.
Richard.
(34:09):
Well, like.
And I felt I followed GaryVaynerchuk's teachings and you can
always look for vertical momentum.
We are on the first 12 pagesof Google.
So even if you just Googlevertical momentum, we're on the first
12 pages.
We're on 36 different platforms.
So wherever you're at, we're at.
(34:30):
So that's awesome.
So with that being said to thelistener, thank you so much for getting
to this part of the episode.
We appreciate you, David Richard.
We thank you so much forhaving an impromptu paddle.
We started off with solo butended up as a panel.
So I think I appreciate that.
Thank you.
And then and again to the listener.
All of this will be in theshow notes because we're going to
make it the easiest we canmake it so you can find these guys
(34:52):
and I highly, highly, highlyencourage you to connect with each
one of them, hit them up onthe socials, check their podcast
out because they arepowerhouses and your life will be
different as you listen.
And with that being said, youhave been listening to Grace in the
Grind where we're here toequip, to empower and to encourage
you to do all that God hascalled you to.
Thank you so much for hangingout with us and we'll see you on
(35:13):
a future episode.
This has been Grace in the Grind.
Whether you're a Christianleader looking for guidance or an
entrepreneur seekinginspiration, it's Jim's passion to
equip and encourage you.
Make sure to check out Jim'ssolo episodes where he shares practical
leadership insights groundedin a biblical perspective.
We hope you've enjoyed the show.
(35:35):
If you did, make sure to like,rate and review and we'll be back
soon.
But in the meantime, find uson social media LeadWithJim and you
can also hit the website at www.leadwithjim.com.
take care of yourself andwe'll see you next time on Grace
(35:55):
in the Grind.
Host
Jim Burgoon
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