Ep 9. | Why Do We Still Get Married feat. Align With Alison

Is marriage still the goal—or has the goal changed?

In this thought-provoking episode of Selective Igonorance, Mandii B sits down with seasoned dating and relationship coach Alison (Align With Alison) to unpack how modern views on marriage are shifting, especially for successful women. Kicking things off at [00:00 – The Evolution of Marriage], they explore the roots of the institution and how its purpose has transformed over time. By [03:15 – Challenging Traditional Views on Marriage], the conversation starts pushing back on long-held beliefs, asking if tying the knot still holds the same weight in today’s world. As the discussion deepens, they reflect on [07:41 – The Value of Commitment in Relationships], highlighting what it really means to choose someone—and how that commitment can show up in different ways. At [10:20 – Vetting Partners: The Key to Successful Relationships], the guest breaks down why being intentional about who you allow into your life is crucial. That leads to a candid look at [13:58 – Understanding the Risks of Marriage] and the realities people often overlook when love and legal contracts mix. They don’t stop there. By [20:34 – Preparing for the Reality of Relationships], they’re talking about the emotional, financial, and personal groundwork that needs to happen before anyone says “I do.” That naturally flows into [24:52 – Navigating Business Relationships and Personal Vetting], where they touch on how similar principles apply in both love and entrepreneurship. The conversation returns to romantic partnerships at [28:40 – Understanding Risks in Relationships and Marriage], and then zooms in on actionable steps during [30:36 – Financial Protection for Successful Women], where they break down how to be smart and secure without guilt or shame. At [32:24 – Societal Pressures on Women Regarding Marriage and Motherhood], the discussion turns personal, unpacking the weight women carry to “have it all” and what happens when they choose a different path. By [36:03 – Setting Boundaries and Defining Personal Value], they offer empowering advice on how to stand firm in your worth—no ring required. And finally, at [40:30 – Redefining Lasting Love Beyond Traditional Norms], they close the loop by asking: What does lasting love really look like when you write the rules yourself? Whether you're single, partnered, or somewhere in between, this episode invites you to think beyond tradition—and lean into what’s true for you.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, so this topic specifically, I am very specific
on my thoughts y'all. This week we are talking about
my views on marriage and honestly why I just don't
understand why it's still a thing.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
I want to get into.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
First off, the history behind some of the things with marriage, right, Okay,
Let's start with the fact that they started off as
arranged ordeals.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
In order to keep the family.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
Name or in order to keep the rich with the
rich and the poor I guess still poor, even to
the point where y'all incest was a thing.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
They were marrying cousins just to keep.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
The money in the family. Then let's get into the
fact that y'all know I'm non monogamous. Why do we
have only one wife? As the means of marriage, specifically
in the Western world, in ancient world ADBC, in whatever
country you even want to name, polygamy was a thing
and men were able to have multiple wives. It says

(01:04):
to the thousands of wives. Ain't nobody had thousands of wives? Okay, sorry,
I'm looking at my notes over here. And then we
have the separation between state and church. This is where
we started seeing, specifically in the US OFA and Western society,
us leaning into Christianity and the Catholic Church in terms
of how we view marriage, and honestly, by about the

(01:28):
nineteen fifties, we viewed it as a sanctum of love.

Speaker 2 (01:32):
But more so also because women were.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
Not able to have bank accounts until nineteen seventy four,
we weren't able to vote until about the nineteen eighties,
and in reality, most women were dependent on getting married
as a means to have a group over their head.
In some instances, we weren't able to have certain c
suite positions, we weren't able to hold certain positions in
certain industries, and so for many years women relied on

(01:57):
marriage as almost the means of survivor. And so today,
as a modern day woman making all the coins, I
do not understand why a woman who would be successful
would need to lean into the societal pressures of becoming
someone's wife. Are we not our own person? Can I
not find legacy in keeping my own name?

Speaker 2 (02:19):
Am I not her? Am I not powerful?

Speaker 1 (02:23):
I just don't understand the societal pressures on viewing a
woman's value based on whether a man puts a ring
on her finger. And so, y'all, I'm here to see
if I am still selectively ignorant at this topic. By
the end of the episode. I am joined today with
a very special guest. Yes, ma'am, Yes, ma'am, I have

(02:45):
certified dating and relationship coach, wife and host of the
single season.

Speaker 2 (02:50):
Show Allison here with me, baby. Yes, welcome that intro.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
Okay, you know what, let's start out there. Yes, you
can pick out it a little bit. I want you
to get your shit off just a little bit on
clearly you being a relationship and dating coach. I also
want to lean in with the fact that you specify
your clients as successful women. Yes, so that does go
against what I just said. So would love to get

(03:19):
you to get your little shit off of it. Yeah,
based on what I just said, because you would like
you women over here, they can see the theme's coming
off my head.

Speaker 3 (03:27):
So I just want to correct some of the things,
or at least from my position, some of the things
that you shared. Number one in regards to polygamy, right, Yes,
Historically men have been allowed in many societies, and in
some societies in African societies, women have been allowed to
have more than one spouse. That doesn't negate how society

(03:49):
can change over time.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
Right.

Speaker 3 (03:52):
Institutions can change over time. So just because something was
a certain way before doesn't mean that it's wrong now
because it doesn't look the way that it looked one
hundred years ago, four hundred years ago, Biblical times. Okay,
so the polygamy piece, and I'm going through the nose two.
I'm going through the nose two again. The old purpose

(04:14):
of keeping money in the family, keeping society divided, keeping
the name strong, monitoring where funds are going, and so
arranged marriages.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
Again, just because an institution.

Speaker 3 (04:24):
Looked away before and no longer looks that way now
doesn't mean it no longer has value because it doesn't
look the way that it used to be. And I
would well to count that same argument, though I would
say that it still kind of functions in that way.
We don't have a range marriage in Western society anymore. However,
we do have this ideology of generational wealth and keeping

(04:46):
money within the new family that's being created, being able
to purchase property that I wouldn't be able to purchase
on my own. I'm in Brooklyn, New York. I can't
buy a house in my own salary. When my husband
and I came together, when those w twos came together,
we were a position to purchase a property, being able
to provide for our children that if I were a
single mom I may not be able to do to

(05:07):
the same level. So again, just because an institution changes
over time doesn't invalidate said institution. And even though we
may have some of the same original values from then,
it doesn't mean that it's no longer valuable now.

Speaker 1 (05:22):
Third argument, which I actually agree with. Okay, Okay, so
we oh, honus agreeing on something. Okay, by the way,
I love that. I'm I'm listening because I cannot wait
to get deep into this.

Speaker 2 (05:32):
Yes, yes, so what did you agree on that? Sorry?
The part that I.

Speaker 3 (05:35):
Agreed on is women being held to marriage, being obligated
to marry because they could not provide for themselves. Ok So, yes,
you mentioned about the suffrage movement, not being able to
vote and having a voice in society, not being able
to have a credit card or open up a pint, right, Like,
those are all legitimate, right, So there are many people,

(05:56):
many of our ancestors. I was gonna say, Grandma, I'm
still alive. Yes, that married because they had to. They
would No, there's no the recourse they cannot purchase the property.
What the fuck they're gonna do? Right? They had no
other choice, however, and that's legitimate, and I agree with you. However, again,
we're talking about busy, professional women. We're talking about successful
women who are making choices. You have made a choice,

(06:18):
You've made a stance. You do not value marriage, you
do not want it for yourself. Correct, you do not
want children.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
Correct. That's powerful that you can make that choice.

Speaker 3 (06:26):
Who I'm talking to, my audience are women who want
those things on top of the success that they have acquired,
and they're choosing to do it. They're not obligated to
do it anymore. And that's valuable too, that I can
see an institution. I can recognize that grandma and great
grandma had to do it, and I can recognize that
I don't have to, but I want to. And I'm

(06:46):
sure we're gonna get into why women still want this.

Speaker 1 (06:50):
Thing, so you you cater to and oh, I can't
wait to dive into that.

Speaker 2 (06:56):
Again.

Speaker 1 (06:56):
Your clientele is successful women that then choose marriage. And
we talk about lasting love equaling marriage. Why why then,
do we not identify purchasing a home which you brought
up and partnership as just coexisting or essentially an LLC
if we want to, like you said, y'all coming together

(07:17):
with your w twos. Why could that not be an
option in partnership? Why did it have to be as
getting married? Now that we're together now it could be
that way, And I want to make sure I'm voicing
this correctly?

Speaker 2 (07:32):
Am I saying it right? Do we just want to
lean into why does lasting love equal marriage? Essentially?

Speaker 4 (07:37):
I mean, it's a good start, but you can also
go to a value proposition too.

Speaker 2 (07:42):
It is a bit of a.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
Value proposition, but I guess I want to start there.
Why to you is lasting love marriage?

Speaker 3 (07:49):
Okay, so that's an excellent question because that's legitimate, right,
Like my husband didn't have to be my husband for
us to submit the documents together to purchase the home.
My husband did not have to be my husband for
him to lay with me for us to make our
two beautiful babies, so that again all legitimate.

Speaker 2 (08:04):
It doesn't have to be.

Speaker 3 (08:05):
However, in my opinion, it's way too risky for me
to invest my life, my time, my physical health and
well being as carrying children, my financial well being of
purchasing this home or delving into a business or whatever.
That looks like it's way too risky for me to
do that with someone who is not willing to also

(08:27):
put up a similar risk. So what do I mean
by that? Obviously, my husband can't carry a baby, so
it's not that kind of risk, right, okay, But the
risk meaning that he is willing to say with his mouth,
I'm committed to this person. I'm not going to commit
to anyone else. Here is a symbol of that commitment
that is pricey right to you, so that you know
that my intentions are legitimate. You are risking your life

(08:49):
to have my children. The least I can do is
sign a document that says that my intention is to
commit to you. The least I can do is say
in front of God and my family that my my
intention is to commit to you. Now, we all know
that divorce exists, we do. We all know that we
just fifty percent of couples and in divorce. But I
me ali soon right, I cannot take the chance of

(09:13):
investing with this person if they can't do them what
I consider the lower end of the commitment. I think
it's a lower end of commitment to marry versus having children, you.

Speaker 2 (09:23):
Think, okay, you think that's a lower.

Speaker 3 (09:28):
Because he and I have children together. If he's a
good person, which I vetted, right and I teach vetting,
if he's a good person, then he is going to
be a good father. I equate good person with good parenting.

Speaker 2 (09:41):
That I do. I do. Okay, Okay, I love that
to do.

Speaker 1 (09:45):
I will disagree with that because what we've seen too
is the fact that someone being a good partner doesn't
make them a good father.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
Someone being a good father doesn't make them a good partner.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
Someone being a good partner doesn't make them really a
good person with everyone else. I think, I think this
idea of what is good, and I think the moral
compass of it is subjected.

Speaker 3 (10:01):
You're gonna make You're gonna get me in trouble. They
so let me tell you, yes to me?

Speaker 2 (10:08):
And how do you bet that?

Speaker 1 (10:10):
Because you said you bet it even with your client, right,
how do you bet a good person?

Speaker 2 (10:13):
Okay?

Speaker 3 (10:13):
So all right, so let's take a couple steps back.
I want to make sure that I hit every point.
I would argue that if you are not showing up
as a good parent, then you are not a good partner.
So don't I don't think that you can say that, oh,
he's a loving husband, but he's an absentee parent.

Speaker 2 (10:31):
I don't think so. Let me tell you why.

Speaker 3 (10:33):
If you truly loved your wife, then you would not
leave her holding the bag. You would be doing dishes
and doing homework and picking up the kids. There would
be no laziness on the parenting side. Can I ask you, then, so.

Speaker 1 (10:45):
Then the horse before the carriage, or the carriage before
the horse? You would say someone then should have children
with a man before marrying them.

Speaker 2 (10:53):
No so, And I'm asking yes because you're saying if
he's a good father, he'll be a good partner.

Speaker 3 (10:59):
No, no, no, I'm not saying that I know no, not automatically.
I'm just saying that I don't think that the two
are mutually exclusive. If you tell me that you love me,
you love Alison, your wife, you love me, but yet
you're not showing up for our children. And I don't
think that you truly love me as much as you
say that you do, because you wouldn't leave me in
a position to be struggling.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
Can I tell you my logical way of viewing?

Speaker 1 (11:20):
And this is why now I have these way outlandish
things because I view of things a father and how
he shows up for that child, that relationship and how
he shows up is a relationship between that man and
that child, not you, And so looking at how he
shows up for another human being is not indicative, nor

(11:41):
will it be indicative I think in any nature how
he will show up for you. I have seen people
be able to show up for children and not show
up for a wife, a partner, a girlfriend in the
same thing, baby mama at all. And so I don't
like that tangible connection where you feel like, oh, if
he shows up as a good father, he's going to
be a good partner to me, or or he the
good person, Like I think that that relationship is exclusive

(12:05):
to that child. And unfortunately, this is where I think
my mind goes when we talk about and this is
where we can get into how you bet what's a
good person in the realm of how you look at
who will be a good husband. The way someone shows
up for you is not going to be in the
way he shows up for a child is not going
to be the way in which they show up for
their mother. They're like the way we innately as human

(12:25):
beings show up as people. We show up differently, as
I'm going to talk to myself. I show up differently
as a daughter than I do as a friend, than
I do as a romantic partner that I do as
a business partner. Even though I'm the same person all
of those relationships, you show up differently, and so.

Speaker 3 (12:40):
I would challenge you and say that you don't show
up as differently as you think that you do. Okay,
I would challenge you and say that you are probably
extremely consistent at the version of you is extremely consistent. Now,
of course, your partner's going to get hugs and kisses
and some other extra special stuff, right.

Speaker 2 (12:54):
A lot of exercise, right.

Speaker 3 (12:55):
And then there may be some people who may have
violated you in the past and that you've now created
a new boundary for Okay, Right, But I don't think
that you drastically show up differently.

Speaker 2 (13:04):
I think you are the same person.

Speaker 3 (13:05):
You'll you would be honest, You'll be forthcoming, you will
be supportive, you will be helpful. You're gonna be the
same core person that you are for everyone. They may
have done something to cause you to maybe scale back
or to give more. Their circumstances may have put you
in a position where you feel like this friend is
in more need, so I'm going to show up for
them differently only because she needs it.

Speaker 2 (13:26):
But you, who you are never changes. Okay, I'm not
mad at that. I'm not mad at that. I'm not
mad at that. So then I want to get into.

Speaker 1 (13:35):
I want to get into marriage a bit from the
from the lens of I asked to you a little
earlier why you didn't get an LLC.

Speaker 3 (13:41):
Wait wait, let's wait, wait, Oh don't I don't want
to forget about the vetting. That's import Oh yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no,
I do that's super important.

Speaker 2 (13:47):
How do you bet? Because I did just go through
that whole tangent.

Speaker 3 (13:49):
Of logic, right right, So the vetting process is not
an easy one and it takes time. This is why
I would never recommend for anyone to run to Vegas
and go get married, right like.

Speaker 2 (13:59):
This is something that should be.

Speaker 3 (14:00):
Taken years, beginning with you, the individual and the woman
in this particular case, finding out or figuring out what
their core values are, what a good person is to you, me,
anyone else in the subjective. Right, it's going to be subjective,
So you need to figure out, well, how do you
define what.

Speaker 2 (14:16):
A good person? And what are the qualities, what are
the traits?

Speaker 3 (14:19):
What are the characteristics that you would define makes a
good person. Once you figure that out for yourself, what
you need in a relationship where you need from that
partner in order for the relationship to work.

Speaker 2 (14:30):
Now you need to come up.

Speaker 3 (14:31):
With a list of questions and behaviors that you are
observing over time to assess whether or not those people
check off those things.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
What's the time? What's the time limit from meeting you
to husband?

Speaker 1 (14:44):
Yes, cause some dating coaches may say after six months
you know if you should marry someone, and then we
see the slack the society gives for women waiting ten years. Okay,
so that's a good point now, knowing whether or not
you should marry someone. Men are notorious for saying things
on line. The married ones who are happy, they'll say,
I knew as soon as I met her. Right, Knowing

(15:04):
and doing are two different things. Right, So I've met
this person, I recognize that there is a connection between us,
and once.

Speaker 3 (15:13):
Everything else checks out, which is the part that's muted.
Once everything else checks out, then I am going to
move forward and marry her. Versus I met this woman
and I know that she was no good for me,
but I carried on with her anyway because of blank right.

Speaker 2 (15:24):
Knowing.

Speaker 1 (15:25):
Yeah, oh so knowing and then taking action are not
the same thing. Okay, Luckily my producers one currently married,
one was married.

Speaker 2 (15:34):
How long did it take you guys to pop the question?
I think three years? Three years? And what about you?
So I have a caveat before we do this.

Speaker 5 (15:42):
This is one small caer. I was super young, not
knowing what this looked like. Okay, get married in your
early twenties.

Speaker 2 (15:48):
You have no clue.

Speaker 5 (15:50):
The only the only foundation you have is what you
think of, is what you see your parents facts used
to say. Oh I'm going to duplicate that.

Speaker 2 (15:58):
Ill replicate that.

Speaker 5 (15:58):
Right, but you don't have the tools you think you
It's more to it than just showing up, and we
don't even know what that is as a young man, right,
how do you know to cater the women's in there,
whatever changes, they're going tough as a young woman.

Speaker 2 (16:12):
Right. So we get married young.

Speaker 5 (16:14):
And then we go through the motions in the process,
but we're still trying to figure each other out and ourselves.
So that was my situation. That's why it's kind of like,
it's not like I was forty getting married, you know
what I mean, and then figuring starting from that point.
I didn't have those tools and the yeah thirty eight, right,
so you had time, Yeah, you had time. And I'm like, oh,
I'm thinking, I have this idea of what this perfect

(16:35):
union should be, but I'm not participating in it in
that capacity, nor is the other person because we don't know.

Speaker 1 (16:42):
Now now, I guess my So that's my cobyast. My
thought process has been this for kind of most of
my life. I didn't grow up with the like I
never picked out a dress. I don't know the shape
or color of a ring that I want in my mind.
I didn't have that fairy tale need or desire to
walk down on an aisle or what, you know, what
my bridesmaid's dresses would be. And in what they just said,

(17:05):
do you think then that there is a timeline or
time frame in which people really seek this specifically with
your clients, because I would assume successful women seeking a
husband thirties right, thirties, forty thirties and forties. Yeah, okay, yeap,
never married, never been married, Most have never been married,
most have never been married. Yeah, Statistically, the majority of

(17:27):
African American women who have been married is slim already.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
So yeah, most have never been married. Most have never
been married.

Speaker 1 (17:32):
Okay, and you're divorced, this is your first marriage, first
eight years?

Speaker 2 (17:38):
Were you married before? No, first and only? This is
your first and only? Okay.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
Yeah, I'll say my thoughts later on people who've gotten
married more than once.

Speaker 3 (17:46):
So then okay, So then I want to answer your
question though the time was time from the moment that
the two people meet went until they walk down the aisle.
I think three years is a reasonable amount of time,
okay for you to be able to assess what or
not this person is the right fit for you and
fits the requirements. So again, you first need to be
clear and exactly what you're looking for in a partner,

(18:08):
and a partnership you the individual. Once you're clear on
those things, literally pen to paper, right, write down. What
are the questions I need to ask to assess whether
or not this person has this characteristic So let's say
I'm trying to assess whether or not you're a giving person.
Is Mandy a giving person? That's important to me? I
say that if you're a good person, a part of
that is giving. I need to figure out whether not

(18:29):
Mandy is giving. So when we go on to day,
I'm paying attention to how much you tip, if you
go to church, I'm looking at.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
I'm trying to look sad. I just say what tithing? Right.

Speaker 3 (18:39):
If there's a friend who's in need, and you tell
me about this friend who's in need, and then I say,
well did you help them? Hell no, I ain't helping
that nigga, right, So I'm paying attention to the stories
you tell me. I'm paying attention to the behaviors you exhibit,
and then I'm going to compare that to the list
and I'm gonna say, yes, she is a giving person.
I check off with a pencil, not with a pen
because people can keep up a fight and all that

(19:00):
kind of stuff. Or now you up now, so you're
giving now, and then when you're not as up, you're
not giving, giving with your time, giving with your energy,
giving with your effort. I check off with a pencil
and I move on to the next thing. That's how
you assess, that's how you vet to see if someone
is an appropriate match for you.

Speaker 4 (19:15):
So meant for that, So for the vetting process, because
you're saying from meeting to walking down the aisle three years.
If I throw in one more kind of hurdle in there,
from meeting to proposal, what timeline, because I feel like
women may want to hear that, like what that's for marriage?
So what about meeting to like what I know already?

Speaker 3 (19:33):
That really is dependent on both parties vision for the
wedding and finances. Right, So for some folks, if they're
okay with corehouse, then maybe they only want a one
month or two month engagement because there's no planning, there's no.

Speaker 4 (19:46):
Preparation, but not engagement period. But just like because we're
talking about vetting, so like the vetting period, so like
because you said, which I believe you should vetting pencil, right,
And so it's like from meeting through the vetting process
until like, okay, I'm ready to say yes.

Speaker 3 (19:59):
Maybe two two and a half. But again, I don't
want anyone to hang on to those numbers. It's very arbitrary.
It's also going to have some other factors on level
of dedication to their religion, whether or not they're willing
to be sexual before marriage, whether or not they want
to have biological children.

Speaker 2 (20:13):
Like there's so many other factors. Yeah, very rough estimates.

Speaker 3 (20:16):
It don't come to me in the comments.

Speaker 1 (20:19):
I want to Actually, my mind works in such black
and white. I'm working on this in therapy because as
I'm hearing you talk, my mind goes back as well,
listening to everything risk versus reward and the logical aspect
of it.

Speaker 2 (20:33):
Right.

Speaker 1 (20:33):
So, when I heard you talking about the risk of
buying a home by yourself having children and a partner
showing up and what it needs, what you need in
partnership for both people to provide, all I'm thinking of
is where in all of this do you weigh the
risks of it ending? In all of this, do you
weigh the risks of this person is showing up as

(20:55):
this good person right now because he likes me, because
he loves me. How does this person show up when
he doesn't like someone, when he hates them, when he
fell out with someone? In which ways is that being vetted?
Because that is the person who's going to show up
at the end of this relationship. And I think, for me,
when I'm weighing the risks versus the reward as a

(21:16):
successful woman, immediately go I go into the risks of
my assets, the risks of what happens to my money
and the risks of my character, and then the risk
of this person and how they are actually going to
show up and what they may want, what they may
want to take, and what they won't give at the end,

(21:39):
I get going into it. What is your view on
all of those risks, though I get the rewards, How
do you view the risks of when it ends?

Speaker 2 (21:49):
Because that's also if it ends?

Speaker 4 (21:50):
No?

Speaker 2 (21:51):
No, if no?

Speaker 3 (21:54):
So are you saying that my marriage is going to end?
His marriage is going to end? It's going to I.

Speaker 1 (22:01):
Put us to live in reality based on statistics.

Speaker 2 (22:07):
Hold on, could it could? And majority? Dude, hold on?
Hold on?

Speaker 1 (22:15):
Or because let's be very clear, Oh, the marriage can
stay in tow and y'all can still exist while hating
each other while he shows up as a bad person,
while he takes from the account that you guys both
own as a person, when that person is no longer
the good person because now time has happened, he's changed.
I am not the same person I was at twenty

(22:35):
six when I started, you know, horrible decisions to who
I am now. Your partner over time as a father
will change, his hobbies will change, the money he and
you make will change. We as people do not include
the fact that we will change.

Speaker 2 (22:51):
So y'all could be married till.

Speaker 1 (22:52):
Death do you part, yes, till the wills fall off.
It doesn't mean that you won't then get to the
point where you are now dealing with all of the risks,
whether you're divorced or not, because this person is no
longer that good person. And that's where when I think
of marriage, when I think of aligning myself with someone
with business which I have, I've gone through divorce. I'm
splitting assets April thirtieth, I gotta go to fucking court

(23:14):
or a bitch that I that couldn't do anything without
me ain't doing nothing now and now is literally trying
to sue me for money, as if I didn't carry
the marriage essentially for two years, as if I didn't
put money into our pocket and never ask for anything
in return. I'm now getting a completely different version of
a person that I thought I got into business with.

(23:35):
And so that's where I hear all of the happily
ever after sentiments. But why when we look at romantic
partnerships and marriage do we not do we ignore the
fact that when this ends.

Speaker 2 (23:47):
This is gonna be real risky.

Speaker 3 (23:49):
I'm gonna go back to my original point, which is,
but why are you look.

Speaker 2 (23:54):
With the reality possible scenario outcome? You can't?

Speaker 4 (23:58):
But is it not responsible?

Speaker 2 (24:00):
I am responded, hold on, and that's where I do.

Speaker 1 (24:03):
I love that Jason just said that is not then Okay, yes,
we could talk about being an optimist and being a pessimist.

Speaker 2 (24:10):
I get it.

Speaker 1 (24:11):
People are like, Oh, this bitch, that's what I betch
right now she says something's gonna.

Speaker 2 (24:14):
Act like she's onto another podcast, you know what I mean.
But to me, I'm goddamn name. Oh that's awful as
a millennial.

Speaker 1 (24:30):
But to me, I don't look at it as me
being negative or me being a pessimist. I look at
me possibly protecting myself, me being realistic with I may
be making a bad decision, even though this decision feels good.
Now I'm in a building that I signed a five
year least. When I signed this ship, I thought this
was gonna be I thought I never was gonna leave

(24:50):
New York. I thought, see the thing is was gonna
be driving for ten years? Like horrible, I thought, because
and I got fucked over. So let me ask you
how much Vetti And I'm not trying to dig into
this persons, and I don't want you to potentially ruin
anything in terms of your court case, right, but how
much vetting did you do with this individual before you
jumped into the business sheets with her?

Speaker 2 (25:13):
You know what's crazy? I actually have, in hindsight view
it like a lot of relationships.

Speaker 1 (25:20):
And let me explain that I thought she was nice,
thought she was kind, We enjoyed hanging out.

Speaker 2 (25:25):
We I thought had a great relationship. Let's be very clear.

Speaker 1 (25:30):
The business relationship changed over time because I left a
network that helped and so she was required to do
a lot more and she didn't give it to me.
I listened for years and why she was treated the
way she was at Rock Nation, and realized all the
blame was on someone else and not on herself. I
believed that, which when we get into relationships, we sit

(25:51):
here and listen to how their past relationships ended, how
maybe they could have showed up different, how they didn't,
but what they learned from it, all of those things.
I bet it in that way, Where are you now?
How did you go from that situation? What would you
do different? I vetted in a way that I thought
I was getting a different version, and instead I actually
got the same version the same way. How bitches beginning

(26:11):
with men who maybe hit or cheated on their last relationship,
thought well, okay, you've changed, it's not.

Speaker 2 (26:17):
Gonna happen to me. And then but they're smeared, cake
smeared on their faith.

Speaker 3 (26:21):
But they're a fool for that, and they deserve And
so listen, I know if nobody deserves to get the
asked on, but you know what I'm saying, within reason.

Speaker 2 (26:26):
You deserve that.

Speaker 1 (26:27):
I was a fool for starting a business with someone
who showed up and admitted to being lazy and expecting
a handout from people without doing the work.

Speaker 2 (26:38):
Cake smeared right here on my face. So when I
sit here and can.

Speaker 1 (26:41):
Object objectively say I gave someone the benefit of the
doubt after vetting them, after being married, now going through
a not so great divorce where she feels entitled to
things that I disagree with her entitlement for I still
sit here and think this was a marriage that went
sour and I did all the things that I thought
wouldn't put me in this position again, and I thought
we were going to ride that thing till the wills

(27:02):
fall off, which is what most people assume when they
get into marriage. They don't think that this person is
going to show up how maybe he did in his
previous relationships. They don't think that there's going to be
cheating or DV or anything negative, or even just that
the person changes. And so to me, that's where again,
the reality of it is back to you. I want

(27:23):
to ask, No, I don't wish the ending of any
either of y'all's marriage.

Speaker 2 (27:28):
Appreciate that, But we're also sitting in here with one
that ended. Sorry, king, uh start, I'm pro, I'm pro.
I'm pro again.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
Then, how do you sit with the actual risks of
this human being?

Speaker 2 (27:42):
Not the institution?

Speaker 3 (27:44):
So let's answer that question, because that's an excellent, one
great question. Each individual person has to decide, looking at
the risk.

Speaker 2 (27:51):
Versus the reward, if it's worth the risk. You have
decided that it is not.

Speaker 3 (27:57):
And the problem is is that society says that you're wrong,
or you're incomplete, or you don't have as much value.
Because that's a decision that you have made. That's where
I differ from society. The clients I work with have
decided that the reward is worth the risk, and they
want help in order to vet and find and navigate

(28:19):
dating so that they can lessen the risk.

Speaker 2 (28:23):
But they've made a decision that.

Speaker 1 (28:25):
The reward is worth It is worth it, Okay, So
and they're going to move forward. And I agree, and
I agree with them, and I believe in marriage, and
I believe in the institution, and I believe in what
it can provide.

Speaker 2 (28:37):
So I took the risk.

Speaker 3 (28:38):
I took the leap four years ago, and I will
help anyone who also agrees. But if you don't agree,
that isn't a problem for me.

Speaker 2 (28:45):
I support it.

Speaker 1 (28:46):
Let me ask you know, what are your thoughts then,
if we're talking about risk, rewards, protection, vetting, prenups, especially
for the successful woman, I do want to read through
some of these love to bring pop culture into certain things.
And so what I've witnessed over what we've all witnessed
over the last few years, is a lot of celebrity

(29:08):
marriages ending high net worth women having to pay out
their husbands, which, mind you again, y'all on the Twitter
streets love thinking that women need you a little two
hundred and fifty dollars a week fucking alimony and child
supports that a woman Kate succeed without it. I want
to read some of these offs.

Speaker 2 (29:24):
Mary J.

Speaker 1 (29:24):
Blige was had to pay her estrange husband Martin thirty
thousand dollars per month in temporary spousal support, and he
had previously requested one hundred and twenty nine three hundred
and nineteen dollars per month. This was after miss Blige
filed for divorce in July of I believe twenty twenty three.

(29:46):
Adele was ordered to pay a judge was ordered by
a judge to pay one hundred and forty million dollars
to her ex husband. The former couple additionally agreed to
work out their property and debts as well. Kelly Clarkson
not means bringing up all these Oh okay, only two
white women. Kelly Clarkson was orted to may her ex
husband Blackstock one point three million dollars and then contribute

(30:09):
forty five thousand dollars per month in child support. Additionally,
Blackstock was also granted one hundred and fifteen thousand dollars
per month all the support.

Speaker 2 (30:19):
Rachel Lindsay, Candice Parker.

Speaker 1 (30:21):
There's a lot of women that we've seen recently had
to pay up and so then what is the conversation
with successful women now who have their own money, who
have their own assets, who continue to thrive in their
own careers because we now as modern women, have the
ability to with still seeking marriage. How does a successful

(30:44):
financially well woman protect herself?

Speaker 2 (30:47):
Yes, good question.

Speaker 3 (30:48):
So the first thing I would say is there are
I'm sure plenty of loop I'm not the expert, Okay,
I'll tell you that there are plenty of loopholes and methodology.
I think there was a gentleman who was a soccer
player who like put all of his assets in his
mama's name so.

Speaker 2 (31:02):
That when him ain't got nothing right.

Speaker 3 (31:08):
So I'm sure there's a state planning, there's methodologies.

Speaker 2 (31:10):
There's loopholes.

Speaker 3 (31:11):
There's also accounts like if you write that concern, then
you need to do the appropriate research, you need to
hire whoever lawyers, and so on and so forth. I
believe in prenups. I don't think that a prenuptial agreement
is a problem. I would sign one if my husband
asked me to before we got married. I don't think
that that is a measure of a lack of love
or lack of trust. I don't have a problem with it,

(31:34):
especially if you're someone who's a high earner like the
women that you've mentioned. But I do want to say
that these women are the exception and not the rule
in terms of I mean, okay, if we go through
how many posts and social media conversations of women who
are coming out and winning when they divorce their husband,

(31:55):
who normally is the higher earner. When we have these
kind of conversations, women don't tend to be the ones
on the end of that losing spectrum, but our conversations
about them. So that's a right right, protect yourself, do
what you need to do if your future husband is
not willing to sign to make you feel confident about
those next steps, and perhaps he's not an appropriate match,
and that should be a part of your betting.

Speaker 2 (32:17):
You're betting. Okay, let me ask you then your views
on society.

Speaker 1 (32:22):
I feel like the societal pressures for women successful or
not to being a mom or a wife essentially by
a deadline not or and you can't just be the mom,
can't just be the one.

Speaker 2 (32:36):
And here I go, not wanting either.

Speaker 1 (32:37):
So I know that the older I get, the more
society is going to be like, well, bitch, what's wrong
with you?

Speaker 2 (32:44):
And so what are your views on that?

Speaker 1 (32:46):
I know that the conversations around Tracy ellis ross is
that she can't be happier, that something has to be
wrong with her, how she ain't got no kids, how
she ain't married, and people constantly question the ability of
her to be happy with those two labels are what
say you to someone who does have this high esteem

(33:08):
and view on marriage or women in terms of societies
pressures and views on that same label?

Speaker 3 (33:15):
So let me slightly correct. Okay, I value marriage as
an institution. Yes, I want to help anyone else who
does as well. Yes, anyone who does not, I one
hundred percent support them, love that. Anyone who doesn't want
to have children. I'm so glad that you know that
now versus later.

Speaker 2 (33:33):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (33:34):
I think that these women, the women who don't want
to abide by the societal standards and expectations, they know
that they need to be strong in that, they need
to stand ten toes down in that to stick with
it and just understand that, yes, you are going against
the mold, and what's wrong with that?

Speaker 2 (33:51):
Right?

Speaker 3 (33:51):
Like, So we have a couple of different things. Number One,
you can be an advocate for. You can be the voice,
you can speak for those who are like you, who
have your ideology right.

Speaker 2 (34:00):
Or you could just shut the fuck up.

Speaker 3 (34:02):
Don't tell people what your moves are, what your opinions are,
How you know whether or not you want children, whether
or not you want magic. Except for the individual that
you're actually dating, they need to know right other than
that those are your options.

Speaker 2 (34:14):
It's tough, but.

Speaker 1 (34:15):
I was gonna say that sounds good, and then everything's given.
Your parents, your grandparents, everyone is asking where that baby at?
Where the man at? I mean, I get it's I
think it sounds good, but I think that there is
a lot of answering that women have to do, whether
it be at work, whether it be within their family.
Even let's be very clear, we could fall out with
a woman now. Women I think are even more nasty

(34:39):
than anything to where if you are going toe to
toe with maybe someone on the internet, and they see
that you're single and and with no children, they immediately
will will go and.

Speaker 2 (34:49):
Dog you like your in value, like you hold no value.

Speaker 1 (34:52):
Yes, it's you are nothing without a man, putting a
ring on your finger or nothing if you ain't bear children.

Speaker 3 (34:58):
I agree with you what you're gonna do? Right, And
you're asking me, but I mean, what are you gonna do?
Stand ten toes down, and we need to be the
ones to be the voices, and we need to reiterate
that our value is not equated to whether or not
we choose to marry or we choose to have children.
And as a matter of fact, I would even argue

(35:19):
that we're stronger them, but you, right, thank you right,
are even stronger to be able to push against the
cittal norms, knowing what you want and being able to
stand by that the way that I feel like rolls.

Speaker 2 (35:31):
The parks on the back of the bus. I ain't
gonna hold you.

Speaker 1 (35:34):
This shit is weighing on me, heaven, because the internet
is really a cruel place. And I mean, even talking
to my mom and women in the generation right before me,
there's there's been conversations about, wow, I wish I could
have been this sexual sexually, Wow I wish I have
a couple of them, you know kids back in the day,

(35:54):
or I wish I was able to have this sense
They say quietly yeah, and then publicly it's a different conversation.

Speaker 3 (36:01):
Right, yeah, So this is all right, So let's talk
about some real practical things that we can do. Number One,
we need to put some boundaries in place in preparation
for the holidays, right, so Thanksgiving, Christmas. Like you, sometimes
we need to get nasty with grandma. We grown, we
pay our own bills, so we need to get nasty
with grandma. Oh, you mean the fact that you had
I had three granddaddies over the.

Speaker 2 (36:21):
Last But you're a lobby and I got nasty. My
mom went.

Speaker 3 (36:26):
She was lobbying for a gentleman that she really liked. Okay,
and he said, and I told her that we were
not moving forward. I was not going to continue to
date this gentleman. She told me I was making a
grave mistake. And I told her, well, you're the expert
on relationships.

Speaker 2 (36:42):
I can see.

Speaker 3 (36:42):
She says, that's a good man, right and being and
my dad right. And it didn't work out with them,
so she was mad. We didn't talk for two weeks.
And she never challenged any of them. And this was
ten fifteen years ago. She never challenged up. Sometimes we
had to shut these people down. Who's your baby daddy?

Speaker 2 (36:58):
But you're asking me to Auntie not some mother. Don't
get slatin.

Speaker 1 (37:03):
But daddy or how many granddads? How many granddaddies did
I have to say hi granddad too? Or we need
to start putting some boundaries and as you're grown, and
I'm telling you, I bet you money, if you start
putting some of those things in place, they won't harass you.
Next things given, they won't be bothering you. Next Valentine's
about why you ain't going out and who you're not with?

Speaker 2 (37:21):
Those are your friend take a little different, Maybe you
need to take a break.

Speaker 3 (37:30):
Next things given, Maybe we need to go to Bali
for next thing, right, like, maybe we need to flex
them like whatever.

Speaker 2 (37:37):
That's one thing that we need to do.

Speaker 3 (37:38):
Secondly, we need to not be so concerned about what
society says. Society has no impact on your real life.
You know what Jay says, what you eat don't make
me shit?

Speaker 2 (37:49):
Right?

Speaker 3 (37:50):
So there is a random dude on Twitter who said, oh, Alison,
you you know you having a baby? You almost forty?
You're right right? Why do I care? Why is that
hurting my feelings? Why am I not more invested in
the positive comments? And why am I feeding into the
negative ones?

Speaker 2 (38:07):
No?

Speaker 1 (38:07):
No, no, because I'll be having time bitch, I'll be
I got time today.

Speaker 2 (38:11):
Bitch cram yea oh big scram.

Speaker 1 (38:14):
And now I can't get online for a couple of
days because they said I was bullying.

Speaker 2 (38:17):
Well, they love to say I'm bullying.

Speaker 3 (38:19):
But then we can't be mad when we engage with
those people. Then we can't be mad when we continue
to attract that type of energy. Now I know I
can get a rise out of you. You're gonna act
me what Mandy is adding me. She's talking to me,
even if the talk is a curse, even if the
talk is but regular Alison who says I love your
hair and this was a great episode. You don't give
me any kind of minute.

Speaker 2 (38:38):
Oh no, I do. I like them, give me a
lot of giving them pickleback shots. When I see him
in the street, you give me shut up. I can't
give a heart no. But but okause they got three words.
I don't want the emoji. The emoji not not hitting
like that you va did.

Speaker 3 (38:51):
The emoji you was cursing somebody out There's a difference.
But my point is is like we we as a
society need to not be so invested in society.

Speaker 2 (38:59):
What is societ.

Speaker 3 (39:00):
I'm not confident that the people who are online who
are spewing.

Speaker 2 (39:03):
This negativity, do they got a wife?

Speaker 3 (39:05):
We need to start saying this ship back to them,
where's your wife?

Speaker 2 (39:08):
Oh? How many kids? You guys that all by the
same way, are your girlfriend? You're struggling to pay your bills?
We need to just like this whole idea. That's the
pocket water.

Speaker 3 (39:18):
It's all good, but this this idea of how like
black people took the word nigga, and we use nigga
again with each other, and it's like kind of like
relative depending on who you talk to, relatively a term
of endearment. We need to start flipping it on these niggas.
Where's your wife, how many times you've been married? How
many baby mamas you got? Start shaming them the same
way that they start to shame, to change the narrative.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
And I do that.

Speaker 3 (39:39):
And my last point is again I don't even know,
at least like Russians, like, who are the people who's
behind these pages?

Speaker 4 (39:45):
Yo?

Speaker 2 (39:45):
Shut up, I don't know. I want to go lie.
I'll probably get canceled. I call them a laddins.

Speaker 1 (39:51):
They be in my ship. I'll be like, while aladdinto
my ship, they be talking shit about me. But then
it has all this Arabic writing behind it.

Speaker 2 (39:59):
S Wait, wait, wait, I got a question? Can I
can I read a tweet? Can I read a tweet?

Speaker 4 (40:04):
Since we're talking about online?

Speaker 2 (40:05):
Here we go.

Speaker 4 (40:05):
By this time next year, I'll be a New York
Times bestseller announcing another book on the radio show that
I holse and celebrating it with a man who deserves me.

Speaker 2 (40:16):
Watchum.

Speaker 1 (40:19):
So, basically, Jason likes to pull out this hypocrisy in
myself a year.

Speaker 2 (40:25):
Don't do that?

Speaker 3 (40:25):
But how is that hypocrasy? You didn't say with my husband?
Thank you said?

Speaker 2 (40:30):
But are y'all saying the same thing?

Speaker 1 (40:32):
This is where he thinks we're saying the same thing.
I think lasting love, lasting love is great? Is great, right,
I think? And this is where I agree with Alison
that I'm trying to break the mold. Essentially, I believe
in everlasting love or everlasting partnership without the hierarchical steps
of Okay, we're moving together, we have the kids, we

(40:53):
get engaged, we get married, you know, and you could
go all the way down to it. We meet each
other's family, we do this, we do that. I think
that the pressure around a traditional route of a relationship
is not at all my vision for lasting love or.

Speaker 2 (41:14):
What my future looks like with a partner. Right, And so.

Speaker 1 (41:20):
Again, the institutions, society, all the things that at the
dismantle when it comes to me dating, this becomes very
difficult for me to express because a lot of men
feel like, oh, you don't want to get married. Oh well,
maybe you don't like me that much. Oh well, maybe
I can fuck on these mini bitches, or maybe this
is just gonna be fun, maybe it's just gonna be
a situation ship.

Speaker 2 (41:38):
I feel like when I express this, or even that.

Speaker 1 (41:40):
I'm not monogamous, a man immediately doesn't even take me serious,
because as men, they are programmed to search and seek
out their wives. They are searched, they are taught to
seek out the nurturing nature of a woman because that
would make a good mother. And so when I come like,
maybe I want to hop all a plane and hop

(42:00):
off some hm bent over on a you know whatever.
When I come the way I view love and long
lasting partnership, it doesn't align with what people assume that
to be.

Speaker 3 (42:11):
You have gotten so far in your career by not listening.

Speaker 2 (42:15):
To other people.

Speaker 3 (42:16):
Yeah, so I need you to take that same energy
and to continue to do what you do, and that
has gotten you so successful in this industry, in your
romantic life, and that's what I teach my clients. Like
you've gotten the degree, you have, the business you have,
the home you have, the stock options, you have, all
these things. It really is the same skill set that
you are applying to your romantic life. I know we

(42:37):
just I just used the word romantic life. But your
romantic life is a lot more logical and reasonable than
people like to give it credit for. I made a
logical decision to marry my husband, not only because of love.
If I only loved him, I would not have married him.
He has loved other women before me and did not

(42:58):
ask for their hand in marriage. Love cannot be the
only thing. It might be one of the most foundational pieces, right.
It might be literally the basement. It might be literally
the foundation of the home. But a home is not
a home if it just has a foundation.

Speaker 1 (43:13):
Where's the kitchen, where's the back windows? Right?

Speaker 2 (43:17):
Yeah, where's the roof? Where's the roof? Right?

Speaker 4 (43:19):
Like?

Speaker 1 (43:19):
Where are those things? Where's the central Where are in
New York a lot?

Speaker 3 (43:24):
But that's something that you've decided that you needed. And
so yes, love can be the foundation, but that cannot
be the end all, be all, because I cannot imagine
that a relationship could work in this day and age,
or any day and age, simply based on love. I
don't think a marriage could work simply based on love,
and I don't think that it should. It's too dangerous,
it's too finicky, you said it. People change over time.

(43:47):
I need my husband and I we needed to make
a decision as to what we wanted our life to
look like. We made a decision as to what we
wanted our children's lives to look like. And I'm talking
about things like I want my kid to be able
to choose any.

Speaker 2 (44:00):
Because they got to be an HBCU and we could
just write the check. Belie, we still have those decided
to do. Try to take them shits a way. Yeah,
but we can write the check. Right.

Speaker 3 (44:12):
My babies need a down payment for their first house.
We can take care of that. We can buy them
their first Rinki DENTK car. Like there are things that
we want to provide for our children that our parents
were not able to and we want to be able
to do those things together as a unit.

Speaker 2 (44:25):
That has nothing to do with love. You're right.

Speaker 3 (44:29):
That has to do with financial planning, right, and us
working together to get to the goal faster. Now, could
I have gone to a sperm bank, gotten pregnant, had
some babies, and written.

Speaker 2 (44:39):
A check in eighteen years? Probably?

Speaker 3 (44:41):
How much work would have taken in order for me
to be able to do that, How much non fun
that would have been to be doing it by myself
versus me being able to do that work.

Speaker 2 (44:53):
Shout out to all the single mamas. I don't know
how y'all do this.

Speaker 3 (44:55):
Right to do the work and have somebody to enjoy
the work with, have somebody.

Speaker 2 (44:59):
To I think.

Speaker 3 (45:00):
Again, we talked about logic and reason, but there is
also the emotional human aspect of companionship. Now you can
say again, I could just get that from my man.
Why do I need that to be a person? That's
my husband, that we signed on the dotted line, and
literally that is true again for me, I'm not willing
to take myself off the market. Okay, I'm not willing

(45:22):
to literally put my life at risk. I just had
my second C session fourteen days ago. For someone who
can't even say the words I want to marry you,
or we are married to someone who can't sign on
the dotted line. I want to go back to an
original point that I said, I think that marriage is
actually the bottom of the commitment barrel. Oh, I think

(45:43):
it's well, I mean obviously not before a boyfriend, but
you know what I mean, like when we talk about
the hierarchy of commitment. If I have your child, I'm
gonna be around you for the next a minimum eighteen minimum.

Speaker 2 (45:57):
And that's not even the truth.

Speaker 3 (45:58):
There's college is married, is their marriage, it's you know
whatever whatever. Those kids are going right, right, So I
could do that, or we could just get married, not
have any kids, and then we could get divorced and
I never have to see you again after the proceedings, right,
never have to see you again, never have to engage
with you. If I can do it early enough, we
can get this to know that it never even legally happened.

(46:21):
So that idea of this commitment being so heavy again
not you, but children not so much, is outraged. No,
you're you're right, that's out I don't I do not
understand the logical.

Speaker 1 (46:32):
Oh yeah, because I love everyone that I ended ship with,
I ain't gotta see them again again.

Speaker 2 (46:36):
I mean, I gotta see somebody.

Speaker 5 (46:38):
You scared to beat a little spoon Oh, don't do that,
I mean a little spooning.

Speaker 1 (46:45):
I mean, I just I just think I have my
kindness has been taken as a weakness, and I feel
like I have become jaded over time, and I do
view people in realizing that things change people, and I
just now I have one life to live and I
just kind of want to move forward with protecting that.

(47:05):
And I think even with my ex boyfriend, with my
last podcast, with all the things, I realized how lucky
I am in comparison to my friends who are stuck
with kids by themselves or stuck with other things, debt
or because of the marriage, because of the kids.

Speaker 2 (47:24):
And I'm just like, yeah, don't want it, don't want it.
It's too risky for you. I do want to say, now,
what did I change my mind? Or am I still
gonna be on my bullshit as always?

Speaker 1 (47:38):
I like to know after these conversations and me running
off the my mind of my thoughts, where I land
still the same?

Speaker 2 (47:47):
Still same.

Speaker 1 (47:47):
So don't want to get married absolutely value though yes
anyone that does. So, I do want to put that
out there because there is a disgusting narrative that I
run from people when the happy in relationships.

Speaker 2 (48:02):
So I want to be very clear.

Speaker 1 (48:03):
I've celebrated the marriage of my good friend last year.

Speaker 2 (48:09):
They were together ten years, but they did get married
in Vegas. They didn't want a big wedding.

Speaker 3 (48:14):
I got married in Vegas, So I mean that was
like a little slur, But yeah, and.

Speaker 1 (48:20):
I'm all here for union and partnership between two people
who believe that.

Speaker 2 (48:25):
That risk is worth a reward for them.

Speaker 1 (48:27):
It's not for me, and I stand strong in that
and where this is my opinion. I am not trying
to convince you to agree with me. So I do
have a question for y'all after our conversation, has your
mind changed what the.

Speaker 2 (48:40):
Definition is for lasting love?

Speaker 1 (48:42):
Is it marriage or is it a different definition that's
better suited for your life. I want y'all to share
those answers in the comments over on our social media
page and especially if you are on Patreon. I want
to make sure this conversation is continued because specifically or
successful women with breaking the mold as modern day women,

(49:05):
where do we place the value on marriage and what
do we see for ourselves we now have the opportunity
to make those decisions and Alison, for those who's who
has marriage as a decision they want to make, yes,
where can they be coached and support you and see
more from you?

Speaker 2 (49:23):
Because I know after they heard you get your shit off,
they're like, Oh, I like this woman. I'm glad.

Speaker 3 (49:28):
So, folks, you can find me at a ligne with
Alison on every platform. My website is aligned with Alison.
That's one l dot com.

Speaker 2 (49:37):
All right, y'all.

Speaker 1 (49:38):
That information will also be in the description of this episode. Really,
hope you guys enjoyed this conversation. Actually I really don't.

Speaker 2 (49:48):
I'm lying. I don't care or not. I don't like that.

Speaker 1 (49:51):
I just had a lot of y'all like that. You
could hate it, you could love it either way. Are
you choosing to be selectively ignorant?

Speaker 2 (49:58):
Or are you choosing to get edgec Katie, get with it.

Speaker 1 (50:01):
Can't wait to see you guys next week and hope
you enjoyed this episode or again I'm lye, I really
don't care if you did or not.

Speaker 2 (50:07):
See y'all next week.

Speaker 4 (50:12):
Thanks for tuning in the selective ignorance of Mandy B.
Selective ignorance it's executive produced by Mandy B. And it's
a Full Court Media studio production with lead producers Jason Mondriguez.
That's me and Aaron A. King Howard. Now, do us
a favor and rate, subscribe, comment and share wherever you
get your favorite podcast, and be sure to follow Selective
Ignorance on Instagram at Selective Underscore Ignorance. And of course,

(50:36):
if you're not following our hosts Mandy B, make sure
you're following her at full Court Pumps.

Speaker 2 (50:40):
Now. If you want the full

Speaker 4 (50:41):
Video experience of Selective Ignorance, make sure you subscribe to
the patreons patreon dot com backslash Selective Ignorance