Infidelity, emotional sobriety, and recovery collide in this raw and honest continuation of the Sisters in Sobriety infidelity chat. In today’s episode, Sonia and Kathleen explore what happens when betrayal shows up in a relationship — and how to navigate it without abandoning yourself or your sobriety. They dig into the emotional rollercoaster, the shame that can surface on both sides, and the surprising ways infidelity can mimic relapse patterns even without alcohol involved.
We'll unpack: what does emotional sobriety look like when your heart just got shattered? Can cheating happen as a form of emotional escape? How do you stay grounded when your nervous system is on fire and every coping mechanism is calling your name? And why does early recovery sometimes make people more vulnerable to risky behavior and emotional impulsivity?
You'll hear strategies for repairing trust, protecting your recovery, and reconnecting with your values — even when life feels like it’s exploded.
Sonia also opens up about her own experience with infidelity in her marriage, the fight to stay sober through heartbreak, and the fierce determination to not let someone else's choices take away the life she worked so hard to build. Together, she and Kathleen explore what healing can look like — and what they wish they knew back then about boundaries, self-trust, and choosing yourself in the aftermath.
This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.
Episode Highlights00:00 – The story starts with cruise-chaos and questionable onboard sushi 01:55 – A pivot from food poisoning to infidelity and emotional sobriety 02:58 – Emotional sobriety explained — steadiness when life gets messy 04:03 – Cheating as misalignment with values, not a “good vs bad person” label 05:26 – Emotional relapse vs physical relapse, and where infidelity fits in 06:41 – Dishonesty, avoidance, and numbing behaviors as warning signs 07:34 – What staying sober through betrayal actually feels like 08:17 – Accountability as the foundation for emotional recovery 09:08 – How betrayal can trigger old coping urges and emotional spiraling 10:03 – The difference between staying sober and staying emotionally regulated 11:12 – “You won’t take my sobriety too” — sobriety as rebellion and self-protection 12:17 – The dopamine hit of infidelity and temptation in early recovery 13:12 – Pause, play the tape forward, ruin the fantasy (and save yourself) 14:19 – Stumbling doesn't end your recovery — denial does 15:37 – Hyper-vigilance vs healing — and why control isn’t safety 17:45 – Avoiding conflict vs actually repairing the relationship 19:40 – The messy reality of sexual communication after betrayal 20:53 – Sonia reflects on self-blame and impossible expectations 23:40 – Letting go of “if I do everything right, they won’t cheat” 26:22 – A grounding tool for the day after everything falls apart 28:10 – Closing gratitude + a reminder that healing is possible
Links💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website – Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram
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