How to Ditch Dating Drama with Carleigh Ferrante

This week on Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen are diving deep into the wild world of dating—minus the drinks. They're joined by Carleigh Ferrante, host of the Mostly Dating podcast. Carleigh talks about what it really means to date with intention, honesty, and clarity—especially when you're sober. From starting over after a long-term relationship to swiping through the chaos of dating apps, they're talking about it.

Together, they explore how to spot emotional availability, navigate red flags, and decode whether your new connection is fueled by real chemistry. They ask big questions like: Can attraction grow? How can you tell if someone’s emotionally mature or just really charming? How long should you “get to know” someone before deciding to be exclusive? And what does flirting even look like when you’re sober?

You'll walk away with tangible, empowering insights like how to start meaningful conversations on dating apps, how to plan sober-friendly first dates, and how to protect your peace when things don’t go as planned. Carleigh shares practical tips for setting physical and emotional boundaries, flirting without alcohol, and recognizing when someone just isn’t your person—even if nothing seems “wrong.” You'll also learn how to gauge emotional maturity versus availability and the importance of aligned values in long-term compatibility.

On a personal note, Sonia and Kathleen open up about their own dating experiences and reflect on what it felt like to date sober for the first time, and how vulnerability, awkwardness, and self-awareness reshaped their views on intimacy and connection. Carleigh adds her own behind-the-scenes stories from dating app disasters to moments of surprising self-growth.

This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources.

Time-stamped Highlights

[00:01:00] Carleigh Ferrante joins the show to talk all things dating

[00:02:00] Sonia and Kathleen share their contrasting Bumble experiences

[00:04:00] Carleigh’s go-to formula for dating app openers that actually work

[00:05:00] First date ideas for sober daters that don’t involve bars

[00:06:30] Where to meet people in the wild (yes, even at the Garden Center)

[00:08:00] Why small talk with strangers helps your dating life

[00:10:00] Sonia’s AA house call—and why she prefers women’s recovery groups

[00:11:00] What to ask early on to gauge someone’s dating mindset

[00:13:00] How to talk about your ex without trauma-dumping

[00:16:00] Should you discuss your values on a first date? Here’s how

[00:18:00] Can attraction grow—or does it have to be instant?

[00:21:00] Why ‘secure’ might feel boring if you’re used to chaos

[00:23:30] Emotional availability: what it looks like and how to spot it

[00:25:00] The difference between emotional maturity and availability

[00:27:30] Sonia’s boyfriend used to sing through hard conversations—literally

[00:29:00] How to talk about the future without scaring someone off

[00:31:00] Why the “getting to know you” phase should never really end

[00:33:00] Dating rules vs. personal boundaries—what really matters

[00:36:30] Love bombing vs. real connection: how to tell the difference

[00:39:00] How dating changes when you're sober—and why that's a good thing

[00:41:00] Sober dating and physical boundaries: what becomes clearer

[00:43:00] Flirting without alcohol: presence, confidence, and compliments

[00:47:00] How Kathleen dated for fun—and why that mindset worked

[00:48:00] How to protect your peace when someone ghosts you

[00:50:00] Your person won’t leave you on read—trust that

[00:51:00] Signs it’s not right, even if it’s not “wrong”

[00:53:00] Carleigh’s new course and how to find her content

Links

Carleigh's Instagram

💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen

📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email

📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram

🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast

📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

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