August 22, 2023 • 22 mins
This week's "pillar" episode of The Unteachables Podcast explains the concepts at the core of my approach to classroom management; coregulation, regulation and dysregulation.
I uncover how our survival instincts contribute to our emotional landscape and the implications it holds for teaching, and set the stage for future episodes where I delve into actionable classroom management underpinned by the need for co-regulation.
Listen in as I discuss the role of the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex, the crucial relationship they have, and how this is established. As well as answering the question, "why are some individuals able to better coregulate than others?" as I explore the influence of early childhood experiences, attachment, temperament, and traumatic events on our ability to manage emotions.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Welcome to the Unteachables podcast.
I'm your host, claire, and I amabsolutely no stranger to the
challenges and let's face it,sometimes carnage, of being a
teacher.
And if you found yourselfyou're listening with me, I'd
say that you might know a bitabout that as well, because
being a teacher is friggin hard,and this podcast is dedicated
to making you feel a hell of alot less alone, whilst giving
(00:33):
you the knowledge, support andstrategies that you need to not
just survive the chaos of beinga teacher but truly thrive.
Think about it as getting aweekly dose of relatable,
actionable and, most importantly, enjoyable professional
learning straight into your ears.
So hit the subscribe button,download me if you're a teacher,
and let's get into it.
Hello everyone, welcome to theweek of the Unteachables podcast
(00:57):
.
I sat down this morning and Ithought I've got all of these
ideas for episodes that I couldpotentially put out there,
things that I really, reallywant to bring out, really
strategic kind of specificstrategies for behaviour
management, things like seatingplans and expectations and
starter activities and learningmaps All of these things that I
think would be really beneficialfor the podcast.
(01:19):
I could really dig deep intothese strategies for classroom
management, but then I realisedthat to explain almost all of
these things in a way thatdoesn't justice and really gets
to the heart of why they'reeffective, and I'll just go over
them on like really surfacelevel kind of stuff.
There was one thing that reallyunderpins their effectiveness
and something that if I did onthe podcast in one single
(01:40):
episode it would be much better.
I say these terms all the timeand I just wanted this episode
to be a bit of an anchor to sendpeople to.
Every time I use these terms,every time I talk about a
specific strategy, talking aboutwhat underpins it, I just
wanted to give you a bit of adeeper explanation of what these
things are.
So this episode is all aboutregulation, dysregulation and
(02:05):
co-regulation, because a lot ofthe behaviours that we do see
from our students are because ofdysregulation and an inability
to co-regulate or regulate inthe moment, and all of the
strategies that I talk about,almost all the strategies that I
talk about in terms ofclassroom management,
co-regulation really underpinsthat and us being able to
regulate with our students andus being able to de-escalate the
(02:28):
behaviours.
So I wanted to just create thisepisode as a bit of an anchor
to be able to send you to ifneed be.
So this is just part one.
This is more the theory aroundwhat co-regulation, regulation,
dysregulation is, and then onthe episodes to follow, however
many that may be, I'll justreference these when I talk
about the strategies that I talkyou through.
(02:51):
So, when it comes to regulationand co-regulation, I wanted to
start with a bit of an analogy.
I want you to think about youremotions as a bit of a
rollercoaster ride.
Sometimes we're really happyand we're excited and we feel
like we're soaring high, butthen other times we might feel
really down and sad and angry,like we're just plunging down.
Emotional regulation is likehaving a really skilled
(03:12):
rollercoaster operator who triesto keep that ride really steady
and balanced.
Or maybe it's like havingsomebody beside you being able
to give you a warning when theplummet is coming, so you're
able to brace yourself for it.
So, in terms of our emotions,we're able to regulate those
better, to be able to managethose better, to be able to
preempt things.
(03:33):
When you're experiencingsomething that triggers an
emotion, whether it's somethingreally positive, like a surprise
party, or something that'snegative, like getting into an
argument it could be even assomething small as waking up and
realizing there's no milk foryour coffee.
Your brain obviously getsinvolved in these processes,
like it does for everything.
Where we are just our walkingbrains, aren't we?
(03:54):
So the brain gets involved andit starts this hormonal cascade,
whether it's the adrenaline tohelp us run from a threat or
serotonin to make us feel good.
There are two parts of thebrain that I'm going to be
talking about mostly.
One is the amygdala.
It's like this emotional alarmsenter in your brain.
This plays a crucial role inour brain's stress response and
(04:16):
it's there to keep us safe.
And it's like this small armand shape structure located deep
in the center of the brain.
So when we're on the emotionalrollercoaster, when there's
something that's happening wherewe're going to be plunging down
anger, sadness, embarrassment,whatever it is, a threat from an
animal, whatever it is we'reencountering this potential
(04:37):
threat or danger the amygdalasprings into action.
And what we're doing constantlyit's scanning around and, as
Rob and Gobel said on lastweek's episode, four times a
second oh sorry, I think it wasthe episode before last four
times a second.
Our brain is scanning andprocessing all of the
information from oursurroundings, from the world
(04:58):
around us, and it quicklyevaluates whether a situation is
safe or potentially harmful,and the way that she described
that was whether wearingconnection or protection mode
depends on what's happening whenwe scan around the environment
and we're doing that constantly.
We're not aware of us doing it,but our brain is constantly
saying am I safe or am I notsafe If the amygdala perceives a
(05:20):
threat, if we're on thatemotional rollercoaster, if a
threat's upcoming, if theamygdala goes, that is something
that I need to be worried about.
It activates the body stressresponse.
This is the fight flat orfreeze response and it releases
the stress hormones like theadrenaline and the cortisol, and
it prepares our body to respondquickly and effectively to that
danger.
(05:40):
This stress response is asurvival mechanism that has
evolved over thousands of yearsand it helps us deal with real,
immediate danger, life or deathsituations.
It helps us to swiftly reactand escape or confront that
threat.
But sometimes the stressresponse also picks up on and
(06:02):
very often the stress responsepicks up on things that actually
aren't in, you know, giving usa direct threat for our safety.
It's really sensitive toperceived threats as well.
So even in non-life threateningsituations and in modern
society, we may experience astress response triggered by
everyday things like publicspeaking or exams or work
(06:22):
deadlines.
So, while not life threatening,they still activate that stress
response.
So that is the amygdala it'sbetter to keep us safe, it's to
protect us and sometimes, youknow, having an overactive
amygdala and overactive stressresponse is because we've had to
survive more in our lives.
It's actually become more primeto be able to respond to these
(06:43):
situations.
Then we have the prefrontalcortex, which is sitting right
at the front of our brain.
It is a crucial part that playsthe central role in higher
order thinking and our executivefunctions.
It's the thinking and thedecision making part of the
brain.
It helps us to analyzesituations.
It helps us to respondlogically.
It's responsible for all ofthose complex tasks like
(07:06):
planning and organizing andsetting goals and problem
solving.
And it works with the amygdalato help regulate our emotions
and our impulses.
So when emotional regulation isworking really well, when the
roller coaster ride is reallysmooth and really sweet, the
prefrontal cortex is helping usto understand and manage our
emotions.
(07:26):
If the amygdala gets a bit toocarried away and thinks that
something's a threat when it'snot an actual threat, it helps
us find appropriate ways to dealwith that.
It calms it down.
It helps us to express ourfeelings.
So when we're sad, we mightstop and go.
You know what?
I'm going to go speak to afriend, I'm going to go do
something to make me feel better.
If we're really angry, we mightbe able to engage that
(07:47):
prefrontal cortex and it'll tellus to go for a walk or go for a
breath or whatever it might be.
So these two things, these twoparts of the brain the emotional
center and the thinking centerthey work harmoniously together.
That is how it should be, andwhen they are working together,
it is all smooth sailing.
(08:07):
However, sometimes our brain canhave a very tough time keeping
that ride smooth, and when thishappens, it's called emotional
dysregulation, and it can happenfor a wide variety of reasons.
Again, another very, verynormal process in the brain we
can get stressed, we're tired,we can get triggered by
something, or we can actuallyexperience something that's
(08:27):
really threatening.
And during emotionaldysregulation, the amygdala
takes over to keep us safe andit can make us feel very intense
emotions without much control,because when this is happening,
our prefrontal cortex is nolonger engaged and calling the
shots.
There's no time to think.
Remember, if we're in thethread of something, all our
(08:48):
body needs to do in that momentis to run away from the threat
or fight against that threat.
It's biologically wide in usbecause if we were to have our
prefrontal cortex engaged, wedon't have time to think about
things.
All we have time to do is runaway from that threat.
So in those moments ourprefrontal cortex, our thinking
brain, is disconnected, it's nolonger calling any shots.
(09:09):
But then what's usually able tohappen is we're usually able to
get ourselves into a state ofregulation again.
But our ability to do thiseffectively, quickly, whatever
it might be, it, depends on theskills that we have.
It is a skill to be able to dothis and, although it's not
something that we wereexplicitly taught no one set us
down in a class and taught ushow to co-regulate, or maybe it
(09:33):
did through certain means but wehave been training our whole
lives for this.
This is why some of us havehuge emotional reactions and
take a very long time to calmdown, and why some of us might
yell and shout and cry and evenmaybe become violent, whilst
others might just take a fewdeep breaths and be able to sell
themselves down really easily.
The training that we have takenthroughout our whole lives is
(09:55):
the training of co-regulationand regulation, because we
aren't built with the skill tobe able to regulate.
This is why babies cry.
This is why toddlers havemeltdowns and tantrums over not
being able to do somethingseemingly silly like eat a leaf
To help us regulate our emotions.
We need a co-pilot.
We need someone to help usnavigate these ups and downs.
(10:16):
We need to be able to helpsomeone to help us to handle it
better on our own.
Co-regulation happens during ourearly developmental stages,
primarily in childhood, wherewe're closely connected to our
caregivers, usually our parents.
Every single time that a parentor a caregiver responds to an
infant, a baby, when they'reemotionally dysregulated, when
(10:36):
they're crying, when they're notable to do something for
themselves, we are supportingthem to develop these skills.
These skills are in the form oflittle connections that we
develop between the amygdala andthe prefrontal cortex as we
grow through life, as we developthrough life, every single
touchpoint that we have with ourcaregivers, with our parents,
(10:57):
with people around us, whoeverthat might be, every single time
co-regulation happens, thereare those connections that are
firing up and forming in thebrain.
This is what sets ourattachment style, and I don't
know if I've spoken aboutattachment theory on the podcast
before.
But when caregiversconsistently respond to our
emotional needs, it creates asecure attachment between us and
(11:19):
them.
And when we have a secureattachment we learn that the
world is a safe place, thatpeople are safe, that we're safe
to explore our emotions, we canseek support when we need to,
and the attachment that we haveis a building blocks of our
emotional regulation.
So over time we experienceco-regulation repeatedly
Somebody's calming us down,somebody's holding our hand and
(11:39):
working through it with us.
And then we start tointernalize these strategies and
these coping mechanisms thatour caregivers have shown us.
And what happens is we start todevelop an inner voice that
mirrors their supportive andcalming presence.
This inner parent kind of helpsus self-soothe and manage our
emotions, even when ourcaregivers aren't around.
Even when someone's not around,then, when we don't have
someone sitting next to us,we're able to then support
(12:02):
ourselves, to be able to sootheourselves, to regulate ourselves
.
And then, of course, we growolder and we could become more
independent and we rely less andless and less on external
co-regulation from ourcaregivers and people around us.
Instead, we're able to reallydraw on those strategies that
we've internalized.
We become more adept atunderstanding our emotions.
(12:23):
We become better at regulatingto find healthy ways to cope.
Our brain has developed thepathways to learn how to
regulate.
We've got all of those littlefinger connections that we can
call upon when we need to, whenwe're feeling unsafe, whatever
the reason for that unsafetymight be.
However, not everyone, of course, experiences the ideal
(12:45):
situation for co-regulation.
During childhood, some have hadinconsistent or inadequate
emotional support and this leadsto challenges in emotional
regulation later in life.
So children who haveexperienced neglect or abuse or
inconsistencies with caregivingduring infancy and early
childhood, they might not have asecure attachment, they might
(13:06):
not have the emotionalregulation skills they need.
They might have an insecureattachment and, of course, as
the opposite of then having asecure attachment, the world
isn't a safer place.
You know my emotions aren'tsafe to express and explore.
People aren't safe around me.
They're not going to be thereto support me.
So these early childhoodadversities can lead to
(13:27):
difficulties in managingemotions effectively later in
life and being able to regulateourselves when we need to.
Traumatic events can also createchallenges in emotional
regulation.
It's not always necessarilysomething happening with the
caregivers, so sometimes reallytraumatic events such as great
loss or homelessness, people whoare fled war, experienced
(13:50):
really bad accidents, witnessdomestic violence.
A lot of those types ofexperiences can lead to
challenges of regulating ouremotions because, again, it's
all about the amygdala in thebrain.
So as we experience thesesituations, the amygdala goes
crap.
I really need to keep thisperson alive, I need to keep
this person safe, I need to keepmy body safe.
(14:11):
So the amygdala becomes a lotbetter and a lot more effective
at keeping the person safe, andit even grows in mass.
So if we've experienced a lotof these childhood adversities,
a lot of trauma, our amygdalaactually becomes bigger in mass.
So it's really important to noteas well that struggles with
(14:32):
emotional regulation aren'talways due to trauma or less
than ideal childhood experiences.
It can also be because oftemperament.
It could also be due toneurodivergence.
These can impact on the waythat the brain manages this
process of emotional regulation,as well as the things that may
trigger the stress response,like too much sensory stimuli
that neurotypical people mightnot be impacted by.
(14:54):
So it's really important toremember that as well, that
there's a wide variety ofreasons why regulation might be
a struggle and, whatever thatreason is, it's just as
important for us to know what itis and how to manage this in
the classroom.
This is not set if a child haspoor skills around emotional
regulation.
If one of our students has notestablished a secure base, we
(15:16):
can embed strategies to supportwith this development of
regulation skills.
As the teacher, we can be thatperson that co-regulates with
them and starts to develop thoselittle finger connections
between the upstairs thinkingbrain and the downstairs
emotional brain.
Of course, you can do things todo this through emotional
check-ins and mindfulness,really explicit social emotional
(15:39):
learning and all the otherwonderful things that you
teachers are doing.
However, one of the mostcrucial aspects of us teaching
our students these skills isjust genuinely how we are with
our students, and this is lucky,because we don't have the time
not all of us have the time withthe current time constraints of
the curriculum to be able tosit there and do explicit social
emotional learning, and I spokeat length about this with Laura
(16:03):
from the Kindest Curriculumback in episode 23.
So there are a multitude of waysthat we can actively and
strategically embedco-regulation into our
pedagogies, into our teachingpractice, and I talk about these
often.
But this is just a whistle-stoptour of the core concepts,
because they really do underpinevery single thing I teach about
classroom management and as aclassroom management podcast,
(16:24):
and the whole crux of it is aregulator student will be a
student who displays regulatorbehaviors, a student who is able
to learn, a student who's ableto be connected with everything
around them.
So the more that we canco-regulate, the calm our
classroom environment will beand the more we can really be
able to proactively reduce thosechallenging behaviors.
So if we don't necessarily needto do all the social emotional
(16:48):
learning, then what do we do?
Well, that is all of what I'mgoing to be talking about in the
upcoming episodes, where I'mtalking about the actual
strategies that you can embed inthe classroom.
It's not airy fairy.
These are really solid,actionable things that you can
take in and do to be able tosupport with co-regulation and
(17:08):
regulation for your students andobviously that then will lead
to reducing the challengingbehaviors.
Ok, just to recap, we're humanbeings, we all have brains and,
as human beings with brains, weall have the amygdala, which is
the emotional center of thebrain, the feeling brain.
When we experience somethingthat might be a threat, that
(17:30):
kind of springs into action,releases all of these hormones.
What usually can happen is thatprefrontal cortex of thinking
brain can send all thosemessages down to the amygdala
saying the threat is either goneor the threat wasn't real, and
we're able to regulate.
We're able to take a deepbreath, we're able to center
ourselves and we can get back toa place of calm, a place of
(17:52):
homeostasis.
Being able to do this is askill that we learn throughout
our lives.
We learn it through our earlychildhood experiences.
Every single time our parent orcaregiver is able to soothe us,
to co-regulate with us, tocuddle us when we're crying, to
explain our emotions when we'rea bit older.
Every single time that happens,all of those touch points start
(18:15):
to create little fingerconnections in our brain between
the prefrontal cortex and theamygdala.
They're really interconnected.
So then, when we have thoseskills of co-regulation, every
time we do experience somethingthat's really challenging or
something that someone mighthave just kicked through the
door and our amygdala signalthat there was a threat, but it
wasn't actually a threat, thosefinger connections mean that
(18:38):
we're able to get back to astate of regulation and calm,
because this is a learned skillthat we learn in childhood.
Sometimes, some of us,unfortunately, don't learn these
skills for whatever reason.
It could be that we've hadtraumatic experiences, that
there was neglect, that therewas abuse and our brain had to
get very, very good at beingable to keep us safe.
Therefore, the amygdala is theone that has grown.
(19:02):
The connections between thatand the thinking brain haven't
grown, because who needsthinking when you're trying to
run away from that kind ofthreat?
But to be able to really teachand reach the students who have
experienced these things anddon't have the skills of
regulation, we need to kind ofstep up and be the person that
can regulate with them in theclassroom, to co-regulate with
(19:22):
them, to sit by them,metaphorically speaking or
physically speaking, to reallysupport them emotionally through
those big feelings and thenthrough those touch points and
connections, we can start todevelop those connections
between the upstairs anddownstairs brain, the feeling
and the thinking brain for thesestudents.
The way that we do that well,that's going to be coming in
(19:43):
future episodes.
Obviously, this is just ananchor episode to help you to
understand the core conceptsthat really underpin the work
that I do, the strategies that Iteach, the pedagogies that are
actually brain based and work tochange these students'
experiences of school entirely.
But for now they are all fortoday, if you found this episode
(20:05):
beneficial, it would beincredible if you could leave me
a review.
Just make sure you're followingalong, obviously, on whatever
podcast platform they'relistening on, but then it would
be amazing if you left a review,because that really does help
me to reach more teachers andthat is my goal really to be
able to support as manyeducators as possible with this
(20:26):
stuff.
That's going to make such ahuge difference, like.
I feel like all of these thingsthat I teach in these episodes
are tiny little steps forwardthat make a huge impact on the
young people that we teach.
Okay, lovely teachers, hope youhave a wonderful week ahead and
I will see you at same time,same place, next week.
Welcome to the Unteachables podcast.
I'm your host, claire, and I amabsolutely no stranger to the
challenges and let's face it,sometimes carnage, of being a
teacher.
And if you found yourselfyou're listening with me, I'd
say that you might know a bitabout that as well, because
being a teacher is friggin hard,and this podcast is dedicated
to making you feel a hell of alot less alone, whilst giving
(00:33):
you the knowledge, support andstrategies that you need to not
just survive the chaos of beinga teacher but truly thrive.
Think about it as getting aweekly dose of relatable,
actionable and, most importantly, enjoyable professional
learning straight into your ears.
So hit the subscribe button,download me if you're a teacher,
and let's get into it.
Hello everyone, welcome to theweek of the Unteachables podcast
(00:57):
.
I sat down this morning and Ithought I've got all of these
ideas for episodes that I couldpotentially put out there,
things that I really, reallywant to bring out, really
strategic kind of specificstrategies for behaviour
management, things like seatingplans and expectations and
starter activities and learningmaps All of these things that I
think would be really beneficialfor the podcast.
(01:19):
I could really dig deep intothese strategies for classroom
management, but then I realisedthat to explain almost all of
these things in a way thatdoesn't justice and really gets
to the heart of why they'reeffective, and I'll just go over
them on like really surfacelevel kind of stuff.
There was one thing that reallyunderpins their effectiveness
and something that if I did onthe podcast in one single
(01:40):
episode it would be much better.
I say these terms all the timeand I just wanted this episode
to be a bit of an anchor to sendpeople to.
Every time I use these terms,every time I talk about a
specific strategy, talking aboutwhat underpins it, I just
wanted to give you a bit of adeeper explanation of what these
things are.
So this episode is all aboutregulation, dysregulation and
(02:05):
co-regulation, because a lot ofthe behaviours that we do see
from our students are because ofdysregulation and an inability
to co-regulate or regulate inthe moment, and all of the
strategies that I talk about,almost all the strategies that I
talk about in terms ofclassroom management,
co-regulation really underpinsthat and us being able to
regulate with our students andus being able to de-escalate the
(02:28):
behaviours.
So I wanted to just create thisepisode as a bit of an anchor
to be able to send you to ifneed be.
So this is just part one.
This is more the theory aroundwhat co-regulation, regulation,
dysregulation is, and then onthe episodes to follow, however
many that may be, I'll justreference these when I talk
about the strategies that I talkyou through.
(02:51):
So, when it comes to regulationand co-regulation, I wanted to
start with a bit of an analogy.
I want you to think about youremotions as a bit of a
rollercoaster ride.
Sometimes we're really happyand we're excited and we feel
like we're soaring high, butthen other times we might feel
really down and sad and angry,like we're just plunging down.
Emotional regulation is likehaving a really skilled
(03:12):
rollercoaster operator who triesto keep that ride really steady
and balanced.
Or maybe it's like havingsomebody beside you being able
to give you a warning when theplummet is coming, so you're
able to brace yourself for it.
So, in terms of our emotions,we're able to regulate those
better, to be able to managethose better, to be able to
preempt things.
(03:33):
When you're experiencingsomething that triggers an
emotion, whether it's somethingreally positive, like a surprise
party, or something that'snegative, like getting into an
argument it could be even assomething small as waking up and
realizing there's no milk foryour coffee.
Your brain obviously getsinvolved in these processes,
like it does for everything.
Where we are just our walkingbrains, aren't we?
(03:54):
So the brain gets involved andit starts this hormonal cascade,
whether it's the adrenaline tohelp us run from a threat or
serotonin to make us feel good.
There are two parts of thebrain that I'm going to be
talking about mostly.
One is the amygdala.
It's like this emotional alarmsenter in your brain.
This plays a crucial role inour brain's stress response and
(04:16):
it's there to keep us safe.
And it's like this small armand shape structure located deep
in the center of the brain.
So when we're on the emotionalrollercoaster, when there's
something that's happening wherewe're going to be plunging down
anger, sadness, embarrassment,whatever it is, a threat from an
animal, whatever it is we'reencountering this potential
(04:37):
threat or danger the amygdalasprings into action.
And what we're doing constantlyit's scanning around and, as
Rob and Gobel said on lastweek's episode, four times a
second oh sorry, I think it wasthe episode before last four
times a second.
Our brain is scanning andprocessing all of the
information from oursurroundings, from the world
(04:58):
around us, and it quicklyevaluates whether a situation is
safe or potentially harmful,and the way that she described
that was whether wearingconnection or protection mode
depends on what's happening whenwe scan around the environment
and we're doing that constantly.
We're not aware of us doing it,but our brain is constantly
saying am I safe or am I notsafe If the amygdala perceives a
(05:20):
threat, if we're on thatemotional rollercoaster, if a
threat's upcoming, if theamygdala goes, that is something
that I need to be worried about.
It activates the body stressresponse.
This is the fight flat orfreeze response and it releases
the stress hormones like theadrenaline and the cortisol, and
it prepares our body to respondquickly and effectively to that
danger.
(05:40):
This stress response is asurvival mechanism that has
evolved over thousands of yearsand it helps us deal with real,
immediate danger, life or deathsituations.
It helps us to swiftly reactand escape or confront that
threat.
But sometimes the stressresponse also picks up on and
(06:02):
very often the stress responsepicks up on things that actually
aren't in, you know, giving usa direct threat for our safety.
It's really sensitive toperceived threats as well.
So even in non-life threateningsituations and in modern
society, we may experience astress response triggered by
everyday things like publicspeaking or exams or work
(06:22):
deadlines.
So, while not life threatening,they still activate that stress
response.
So that is the amygdala it'sbetter to keep us safe, it's to
protect us and sometimes, youknow, having an overactive
amygdala and overactive stressresponse is because we've had to
survive more in our lives.
It's actually become more primeto be able to respond to these
(06:43):
situations.
Then we have the prefrontalcortex, which is sitting right
at the front of our brain.
It is a crucial part that playsthe central role in higher
order thinking and our executivefunctions.
It's the thinking and thedecision making part of the
brain.
It helps us to analyzesituations.
It helps us to respondlogically.
It's responsible for all ofthose complex tasks like
(07:06):
planning and organizing andsetting goals and problem
solving.
And it works with the amygdalato help regulate our emotions
and our impulses.
So when emotional regulation isworking really well, when the
roller coaster ride is reallysmooth and really sweet, the
prefrontal cortex is helping usto understand and manage our
emotions.
(07:26):
If the amygdala gets a bit toocarried away and thinks that
something's a threat when it'snot an actual threat, it helps
us find appropriate ways to dealwith that.
It calms it down.
It helps us to express ourfeelings.
So when we're sad, we mightstop and go.
You know what?
I'm going to go speak to afriend, I'm going to go do
something to make me feel better.
If we're really angry, we mightbe able to engage that
(07:47):
prefrontal cortex and it'll tellus to go for a walk or go for a
breath or whatever it might be.
So these two things, these twoparts of the brain the emotional
center and the thinking centerthey work harmoniously together.
That is how it should be, andwhen they are working together,
it is all smooth sailing.
(08:07):
However, sometimes our brain canhave a very tough time keeping
that ride smooth, and when thishappens, it's called emotional
dysregulation, and it can happenfor a wide variety of reasons.
Again, another very, verynormal process in the brain we
can get stressed, we're tired,we can get triggered by
something, or we can actuallyexperience something that's
(08:27):
really threatening.
And during emotionaldysregulation, the amygdala
takes over to keep us safe andit can make us feel very intense
emotions without much control,because when this is happening,
our prefrontal cortex is nolonger engaged and calling the
shots.
There's no time to think.
Remember, if we're in thethread of something, all our
(08:48):
body needs to do in that momentis to run away from the threat
or fight against that threat.
It's biologically wide in usbecause if we were to have our
prefrontal cortex engaged, wedon't have time to think about
things.
All we have time to do is runaway from that threat.
So in those moments ourprefrontal cortex, our thinking
brain, is disconnected, it's nolonger calling any shots.
(09:09):
But then what's usually able tohappen is we're usually able to
get ourselves into a state ofregulation again.
But our ability to do thiseffectively, quickly, whatever
it might be, it, depends on theskills that we have.
It is a skill to be able to dothis and, although it's not
something that we wereexplicitly taught no one set us
down in a class and taught ushow to co-regulate, or maybe it
(09:33):
did through certain means but wehave been training our whole
lives for this.
This is why some of us havehuge emotional reactions and
take a very long time to calmdown, and why some of us might
yell and shout and cry and evenmaybe become violent, whilst
others might just take a fewdeep breaths and be able to sell
themselves down really easily.
The training that we have takenthroughout our whole lives is
(09:55):
the training of co-regulationand regulation, because we
aren't built with the skill tobe able to regulate.
This is why babies cry.
This is why toddlers havemeltdowns and tantrums over not
being able to do somethingseemingly silly like eat a leaf
To help us regulate our emotions.
We need a co-pilot.
We need someone to help usnavigate these ups and downs.
(10:16):
We need to be able to helpsomeone to help us to handle it
better on our own.
Co-regulation happens during ourearly developmental stages,
primarily in childhood, wherewe're closely connected to our
caregivers, usually our parents.
Every single time that a parentor a caregiver responds to an
infant, a baby, when they'reemotionally dysregulated, when
(10:36):
they're crying, when they're notable to do something for
themselves, we are supportingthem to develop these skills.
These skills are in the form oflittle connections that we
develop between the amygdala andthe prefrontal cortex as we
grow through life, as we developthrough life, every single
touchpoint that we have with ourcaregivers, with our parents,
(10:57):
with people around us, whoeverthat might be, every single time
co-regulation happens, thereare those connections that are
firing up and forming in thebrain.
This is what sets ourattachment style, and I don't
know if I've spoken aboutattachment theory on the podcast
before.
But when caregiversconsistently respond to our
emotional needs, it creates asecure attachment between us and
(11:19):
them.
And when we have a secureattachment we learn that the
world is a safe place, thatpeople are safe, that we're safe
to explore our emotions, we canseek support when we need to,
and the attachment that we haveis a building blocks of our
emotional regulation.
So over time we experienceco-regulation repeatedly
Somebody's calming us down,somebody's holding our hand and
(11:39):
working through it with us.
And then we start tointernalize these strategies and
these coping mechanisms thatour caregivers have shown us.
And what happens is we start todevelop an inner voice that
mirrors their supportive andcalming presence.
This inner parent kind of helpsus self-soothe and manage our
emotions, even when ourcaregivers aren't around.
Even when someone's not around,then, when we don't have
someone sitting next to us,we're able to then support
(12:02):
ourselves, to be able to sootheourselves, to regulate ourselves
.
And then, of course, we growolder and we could become more
independent and we rely less andless and less on external
co-regulation from ourcaregivers and people around us.
Instead, we're able to reallydraw on those strategies that
we've internalized.
We become more adept atunderstanding our emotions.
(12:23):
We become better at regulatingto find healthy ways to cope.
Our brain has developed thepathways to learn how to
regulate.
We've got all of those littlefinger connections that we can
call upon when we need to, whenwe're feeling unsafe, whatever
the reason for that unsafetymight be.
However, not everyone, of course, experiences the ideal
(12:45):
situation for co-regulation.
During childhood, some have hadinconsistent or inadequate
emotional support and this leadsto challenges in emotional
regulation later in life.
So children who haveexperienced neglect or abuse or
inconsistencies with caregivingduring infancy and early
childhood, they might not have asecure attachment, they might
(13:06):
not have the emotionalregulation skills they need.
They might have an insecureattachment and, of course, as
the opposite of then having asecure attachment, the world
isn't a safer place.
You know my emotions aren'tsafe to express and explore.
People aren't safe around me.
They're not going to be thereto support me.
So these early childhoodadversities can lead to
(13:27):
difficulties in managingemotions effectively later in
life and being able to regulateourselves when we need to.
Traumatic events can also createchallenges in emotional
regulation.
It's not always necessarilysomething happening with the
caregivers, so sometimes reallytraumatic events such as great
loss or homelessness, people whoare fled war, experienced
(13:50):
really bad accidents, witnessdomestic violence.
A lot of those types ofexperiences can lead to
challenges of regulating ouremotions because, again, it's
all about the amygdala in thebrain.
So as we experience thesesituations, the amygdala goes
crap.
I really need to keep thisperson alive, I need to keep
this person safe, I need to keepmy body safe.
(14:11):
So the amygdala becomes a lotbetter and a lot more effective
at keeping the person safe, andit even grows in mass.
So if we've experienced a lotof these childhood adversities,
a lot of trauma, our amygdalaactually becomes bigger in mass.
So it's really important to noteas well that struggles with
(14:32):
emotional regulation aren'talways due to trauma or less
than ideal childhood experiences.
It can also be because oftemperament.
It could also be due toneurodivergence.
These can impact on the waythat the brain manages this
process of emotional regulation,as well as the things that may
trigger the stress response,like too much sensory stimuli
that neurotypical people mightnot be impacted by.
(14:54):
So it's really important toremember that as well, that
there's a wide variety ofreasons why regulation might be
a struggle and, whatever thatreason is, it's just as
important for us to know what itis and how to manage this in
the classroom.
This is not set if a child haspoor skills around emotional
regulation.
If one of our students has notestablished a secure base, we
(15:16):
can embed strategies to supportwith this development of
regulation skills.
As the teacher, we can be thatperson that co-regulates with
them and starts to develop thoselittle finger connections
between the upstairs thinkingbrain and the downstairs
emotional brain.
Of course, you can do things todo this through emotional
check-ins and mindfulness,really explicit social emotional
(15:39):
learning and all the otherwonderful things that you
teachers are doing.
However, one of the mostcrucial aspects of us teaching
our students these skills isjust genuinely how we are with
our students, and this is lucky,because we don't have the time
not all of us have the time withthe current time constraints of
the curriculum to be able tosit there and do explicit social
emotional learning, and I spokeat length about this with Laura
(16:03):
from the Kindest Curriculumback in episode 23.
So there are a multitude of waysthat we can actively and
strategically embedco-regulation into our
pedagogies, into our teachingpractice, and I talk about these
often.
But this is just a whistle-stoptour of the core concepts,
because they really do underpinevery single thing I teach about
classroom management and as aclassroom management podcast,
(16:24):
and the whole crux of it is aregulator student will be a
student who displays regulatorbehaviors, a student who is able
to learn, a student who's ableto be connected with everything
around them.
So the more that we canco-regulate, the calm our
classroom environment will beand the more we can really be
able to proactively reduce thosechallenging behaviors.
So if we don't necessarily needto do all the social emotional
(16:48):
learning, then what do we do?
Well, that is all of what I'mgoing to be talking about in the
upcoming episodes, where I'mtalking about the actual
strategies that you can embed inthe classroom.
It's not airy fairy.
These are really solid,actionable things that you can
take in and do to be able tosupport with co-regulation and
(17:08):
regulation for your students andobviously that then will lead
to reducing the challengingbehaviors.
Ok, just to recap, we're humanbeings, we all have brains and,
as human beings with brains, weall have the amygdala, which is
the emotional center of thebrain, the feeling brain.
When we experience somethingthat might be a threat, that
(17:30):
kind of springs into action,releases all of these hormones.
What usually can happen is thatprefrontal cortex of thinking
brain can send all thosemessages down to the amygdala
saying the threat is either goneor the threat wasn't real, and
we're able to regulate.
We're able to take a deepbreath, we're able to center
ourselves and we can get back toa place of calm, a place of
(17:52):
homeostasis.
Being able to do this is askill that we learn throughout
our lives.
We learn it through our earlychildhood experiences.
Every single time our parent orcaregiver is able to soothe us,
to co-regulate with us, tocuddle us when we're crying, to
explain our emotions when we'rea bit older.
Every single time that happens,all of those touch points start
(18:15):
to create little fingerconnections in our brain between
the prefrontal cortex and theamygdala.
They're really interconnected.
So then, when we have thoseskills of co-regulation, every
time we do experience somethingthat's really challenging or
something that someone mighthave just kicked through the
door and our amygdala signalthat there was a threat, but it
wasn't actually a threat, thosefinger connections mean that
(18:38):
we're able to get back to astate of regulation and calm,
because this is a learned skillthat we learn in childhood.
Sometimes, some of us,unfortunately, don't learn these
skills for whatever reason.
It could be that we've hadtraumatic experiences, that
there was neglect, that therewas abuse and our brain had to
get very, very good at beingable to keep us safe.
Therefore, the amygdala is theone that has grown.
(19:02):
The connections between thatand the thinking brain haven't
grown, because who needsthinking when you're trying to
run away from that kind ofthreat?
But to be able to really teachand reach the students who have
experienced these things anddon't have the skills of
regulation, we need to kind ofstep up and be the person that
can regulate with them in theclassroom, to co-regulate with
(19:22):
them, to sit by them,metaphorically speaking or
physically speaking, to reallysupport them emotionally through
those big feelings and thenthrough those touch points and
connections, we can start todevelop those connections
between the upstairs anddownstairs brain, the feeling
and the thinking brain for thesestudents.
The way that we do that well,that's going to be coming in
(19:43):
future episodes.
Obviously, this is just ananchor episode to help you to
understand the core conceptsthat really underpin the work
that I do, the strategies that Iteach, the pedagogies that are
actually brain based and work tochange these students'
experiences of school entirely.
But for now they are all fortoday, if you found this episode
(20:05):
beneficial, it would beincredible if you could leave me
a review.
Just make sure you're followingalong, obviously, on whatever
podcast platform they'relistening on, but then it would
be amazing if you left a review,because that really does help
me to reach more teachers andthat is my goal really to be
able to support as manyeducators as possible with this
(20:26):
stuff.
That's going to make such ahuge difference, like.
I feel like all of these thingsthat I teach in these episodes
are tiny little steps forwardthat make a huge impact on the
young people that we teach.
Okay, lovely teachers, hope youhave a wonderful week ahead and
I will see you at same time,same place, next week.
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