September 23, 2024 • 41 mins
Today on the podcast, we dive into the Heart Triad—Types 2, 3, and 4—and explore their Enneagram lines and arrows, or as we like to call them, their Enneagram Paths.
In this episode, we cover Types 2, 3, 4’s:
- The Stress and Growth Path: Understand what it means to move along these lines during times of stress and growth.
- The Blind Spot and Converging Points: Discover the often overlooked paths in your Enneagram type and how recognizing them can lead to powerful personal development.
- Parts of a Whole: Learn how each line and arrow is a path to essential parts of your heart, revealing the full complexity of your personality.
Understanding the lines and arrows offers insights into the patterns of behavior that can either propel us forward or hold us back. Whether you’re a 2, 3, or 4, or you know
Bonus: As a special gift, download our free PDF on Lines and Arrows to deepen your understanding and put these insights into practice.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1J105GMmZJzBwmSlEpFnqzPAOyn3oOOID/view?__s=avmj32602vkus0m24hmz
Thank you to our guest:
Adam Breckenridge - https://myenneagramcoach.com/coach/adam-breckenridge/
We have many more amazing Enneagram for Moms resources at www.enneagramformoms.com.
FREE Enneagram resources here: https://www.yourenneagramcoach.com/podcastresources
Find an Enneagram Coach - https://myenneagramcoach.com/
Become an Enneagram Coach Course - https://www.yourenneagramcoach.com/bec
#Enneagram #PersonalityTypes #EnneagramCoach
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jeff (00:00):
Hey everyone.
(00:01):
Have you ever wondered whatthese lines and arrows mean on
the Enneagram symbol?
Well, that's just not ageometric logo.
Those actually mean something.
And in this episode, we're goingto be talking about what those
lines and arrows mean,specifically related to The
types eight nines and ones ofthe gut triad.
So welcome to your Enneagramcoach, the podcast.
(00:23):
Uh, we've helped millions ofpeople around the world to help
them discover, explore, andbecome the people that they've
always longed to be.
I'm Jeff, the co founder of yourEnneagram coach and CEO.
And I am here with our directorof coaching, Adam Breckenridge.
Great job today, Adam.
You wore the uniform.
We're both wearing black shirtsagain.
Adam (00:43):
Yeah.
Yeah.
At this point, we don't evenhave to send a memo about it.
It's just happens
Jeff (00:48):
Now, um, do you have other.
I mean, you've got Kansas CityChief shirts, obviously.
Adam (00:54):
and I've got a lot of razorback shirts too.
Yeah, no, I, I have, um, I haveother t shirts.
They're most mostly, uh, band tshirts.
So I don't usually wear them,you know, to work.
Um, but yeah, I have several,uh, black t And I just wear a
black t shirt every day.
I've, I've found that you candress it up or down, you know,
(01:16):
if you want to throw a jacket onwith it, then all of a sudden it
looks really nice.
Jeff (01:20):
That's awesome.
not thought about that.
Adam (01:24):
but I'll tell you this, my,
Jeff (01:25):
because mine are collared.
Adam (01:26):
oh
Jeff (01:27):
Mine are collared and buttoned I'm a little more
professional than you are,
Adam (01:31):
Yes, you are.
Yes.
Well, in
Jeff (01:33):
is fun.
I'm in a small group, a littleworkbook study group, and
there's a member of the groupthat wears band T shirts.
And, but they're, uh, eightiesband.
So I was sharing last night, uh,what I listened to on my walks
and, um, and they were wearing adeaf leopard shirt and I, I
realized, Oh, I don't have adeaf leopard playlist, but I
(01:55):
would imagine, uh, on a goodlong walk, they could, they
could get you into some steps.
Adam (02:01):
You're gonna, you're gonna need to create a Yeah, you're
going to need to do that prettyquickly.
Yeah.
And I, I have, I willoccasionally wear another t
shirt you know, when I know I'mgoing to be on
Jeff (02:15):
Oh, nice.
Adam (02:16):
it's going, it's going black t shirt.
Jeff (02:18):
It's
Adam (02:18):
Um,
Jeff (02:19):
great.
Well, hey, friends.
Thanks for joining us in thisparticular series.
Our goal is to help you betterunderstand this dynamic element
of the Enneagram, which issuper, super helpful and is one
of the, uh, meaningful insightsthat attract people to the
Enneagram and why they found it.
You find it useful.
(02:40):
But not just descriptions, butwhat we're also wanting to help
you is to give you an exercise,uh, sort of a self check in for
you to practice self leadership,because these are not just
written in stone, these, this iswhat happens to your type, but
you can actually self lead.
And we want to show you how todo that.
So each of the main types on theEnneagram have two other
(03:01):
connecting types that areconnected by a line.
Now, sometimes it's.
portrayed as an arrow.
And the reason why is that ithighlights the dynamic
relationship that our main typehas with this other number.
And every number has two lines.
One way to think about theselines and arrows is to think
about the relationship, uh,between Riley and her emotions
(03:24):
in the movie Inside Out.
Uh, both Adam and I wereinspired by that recently
because our families have spentsome time watching Inside Out 2
and talked about it a lot.
But each of the numbers, uh, inLike in the movie, there are
characters.
And so what we what we'd likefor you to think of is to think
of them as your internal familyor maybe your internal team,
(03:45):
whatever metaphor comes to mindif it's best for you.
Each of the four numbers is likeeach of the characters in Inside
Out.
Think of them like your internalfamily.
And what works for me isthinking of them as my own
internal team.
So whatever metaphor works bestIn Inside Out, each character
represents an emotion.
And for theatrical purposes,each character has its own
(04:08):
personality as well.
They have their own responses.
They have their own coremotivations.
They're all family.
fears, their desires, theirweaknesses, their longings, and
each of them wants to takecontrol of the control board out
of their own interest, their ownperspective.
Well, the same is true about theconnecting types, uh, all,
(04:28):
although they, they don'tnecessarily represent an
emotion, they do represent apersonality.
They have their own responses,they have their own motivations,
their fears, their desires,their weaknesses, their
longings, and each of them wantsto take control out of their own
interests.
Now, each of the two Enneagramtypes that we are connected to
(04:51):
by a line can show up in bothhealthy and unhealthy ways.
Now, that's important toremember because oftentimes it's
taught that one is a stress pathand one's a growth path.
Well, we're going through fourdifferent ways in which they
show up, and they're bothhealthy and they're both And
(05:12):
remember this, because this isalso important, we don't become
these types.
We simply take on the coremotivations and the relational
strategies of that type in orderto try to meet needs.
Also, remember that each ofthese parts of us actually have
positive intent.
They are trying to the best oftheir ability to meet the need
(05:34):
of our core selves.
Now they may be doing so in anunhealthy way, but always
remember that these arestrategies that we've picked up
along the way in order to meetour needs.
And so we need not.
address ourselves with shame orself contempt because actually
that betrays ourselves and itactually leads to self sabotage
relationships.
(05:55):
So there are four terms that weuse to describe how these two
connected types show up and howwe relate to ourselves and how
we relate to others.
The first is the stress path,that's adopting the unhealthy
attributes of that type.
The growth path, adopting thehealthy attributes.
Now here are the new ones.
The blind spot path is a way ofrelating where we are blind to,
(06:19):
usually with close family andclose friends.
And then the last one is theconverging, the converging path,
when we're most free from thelimitations of our personality's
restraints.
So today we're going to betalking about types eight,
nines, and ones.
Be sure to go to the previousepisodes.
Uh, the first episode in theseries, we go through what the
(06:40):
different paths are, the stressgrowth, blind spot, and
converging paths.
The next episode after that, wego through types, uh, five, six,
and seven in the head triad.
Today, we're going to becovering the gut triad for types
eights, nines, and ones.
Adam, you're going to take usthrough type eight.
Adam (06:58):
That's right.
Yeah.
Let's talk about our eightfriends.
If you're an Enneagram eight,you are connected to the, uh,
type two that makes up the typetwo makes up your stress path
and your converging path.
So, uh, again, as Jeff justmentioned, you know, the stress
path would be, uh, eightsadopting the unhealthy
(07:18):
attributes of type two, and thenthe converging path for the
eight.
Um, is when, uh, the healthiestelements of, of every part is
coming together healthiest self.
And so let's talk a little bitabout how to recognize the
stress path traits of a type twoshowing up in the life of a type
(07:39):
eight.
Um, you may fall into, or noticethis part of you showing up that
carries a belief that you haveto earn other people's love and
and you do that by helpingsupporting.
advising, um, insertingyourself, um, over functioning
for lot of my eight friends willfall into this trap because
(08:02):
eights are so strong.
And so dependable that people,you know, the other family
members or whatever teammateswill put more and more and more
on them.
And, and eights can notice thattrapped.
And if I don't perform, if Idon't meet these expectations,
um, then I won't have theaffection of these people that I
want their affection.
So this is one way you mightnotice the type two stress path
(08:25):
showing up.
You may notice yourself buryingyour own needs and emotions.
Which can already be a, uh, anissue for the type eight fearing
that, you know, there'll bebetrayed or their weaknesses
will be used against them.
But when you double click thatreally doubled down on that
fearing that, man, if I have myown needs, um, it's going to
(08:47):
hurt me to have my own needs.
Uh, so I need to bury those.
That's one way the stress path,uh, the type two stress path
shows up.
Um, you may notice yourself, uh,being very reactionary and hurt.
When others don't help you orthey don't care for you in the
same way that you love andsupport and care for them.
(09:08):
Um, and then you may also assumethat, you know, all your motives
and actions are pure with nohidden agenda.
So sometimes a bit of that sortof rescuer complex of.
I do, I do for everyone.
And, and, you know, the realityis you, you probably do, but I,
I do for everyone.
I help everyone.
And there's a real, um,blindness to some of that, uh,
(09:32):
those, those motivations and,and hidden agendas that are in
there of like, I'm reallyserving in order to be loved or
to be, to be.
Um, that's a little bit abouthow the stress path shows up.
Now let's talk about theconverging, uh, traits of a type
Um, this is where, man, this iswhere as an eight, you really,
(09:53):
really shine.
Eights have such a passion forthe They are justice oriented,
you know, being in the guttriad, they, they, they have,
they're big hearted and theyhave a big heart for, The
marginalized, underdog, thehelpless, the powerless.
And when you notice yourself asan aid, stewarding your strength
(10:15):
to serve the weak, um, to, tomake yourself a servant leader,
uh, this is when, this isprobably your converging, uh,
path.
This is probably the best of thetype to showing up and gifting
you with a supernatural ability.
Uh, to serve and, and, and tocare for others.
(10:36):
Um, you'll notice yourself, uh,a real tenderness, you know,
when you, when you have, whenyou feel the bleeding heart and
the compassion, the, thetenderness, that's, that's your,
probably your converging path.
Um, when you, when you're warmlyresponsive.
You know, uh, rather than just,you know, bulldozing, but, but,
(10:57):
uh, but warmly responsive andgenerous with your time,
talents, abilities, and socialconnections.
Uh, when you notice yourself,like I said, becoming more
empathetic and aware.
Um, you know, and maybesometimes you need to pause in
your pursuit of justice to tendto immediate wounds and needs
around you.
This, this is usually an exampleor usually a fruit of, okay,
(11:20):
you're on your best path.
You're becoming your best, mostmature self.
And this is that converging pathwhere the type two part of your
heart is showing up to reallygift you and really maximize on
your power.
Um, as, as an eight.
Sometimes we call that meekness,Jeff.
It's like, Isn't meekness, uh,power under restraint?
(11:44):
Like it's like power that'sstewarded, you know, and this is
that eight and two part, youknow, working together.
So, um, okay.
Eights are not only connectedbut if you look at the lines and
arrows, you're also connected tofive.
And the five makes up the, um,the blind spot and the growth
(12:06):
path.
The growth path and the blindspot path and again, this is
usually shows up in your mostsecure relationships when you
really kind of let your guarddown.
Um, but you may notice thatyou're becoming fiercely
independent.
know, having like taller,thicker boundaries and walls to
protect yourself.
(12:26):
Um, and, and sort of withdrawfrom people.
If you've got people that youlive with that are saying, Hey,
I'm lonely with you and you're atype eight.
And, and you, you know, most ofthe time it's like, I'm right
here.
You know, my, I'm fiercelypresent.
My presence is known everywhereI go, but it may be an
indication that, okay, you're,you're withdrawn right now.
(12:46):
Um, you've put up some walls andthis is one of the ways that the
type five can show up, in thatblind spot for Um, if you notice
that before moving forward, youneed to, you know, intellect to
sort out your feelings anddesires store up more
information.
(13:06):
Um, if, if you grow tired ofalways being the protective one
and you see yourself needing todetach, um, if you find yourself
becoming secretive, moreisolated, uh, again, to protect
yourself from betrayal or frombeing depleted.
Um, if you feel that.
You know, you're alone to carefor and protect yourself.
(13:27):
This is, this is all evidencesof that type five blind spot
that can show up in the life ofan eight.
Uh, but now that's not the onlyway type five shows up It also
shows up in that growth path.
And this is where you begin tonotice a healthier gifts that
the type five brings you as anSo it can show up as combining
(13:50):
your intellectual insights.
With your intense passion, uh,to produce original works to, to
bless the world.
You may notice yourselfgenerously giving others, you
know, the, the, your, yourhelpful insights and information
that you've gathered, um, youknow, using your brilliance and
(14:11):
insights in very generous ways,connecting with others, not just
on a passionate level, but on anintellectual level, and you may
become more introspective in ahealthy way, like more.
It's okay to be in your head alittle bit, uh, and examining
your, your inner world a littlebit.
(14:31):
And type fives are verycomfortable in that, in that
inner intellectual world, uh, orjust the world of themselves.
Uh, and so you may noticeyourself more aware of your
inner world, you know, knowingwhen to having the wisdom to
know when to relax, when torecharge your body, uh, when to
give yourself away and when to,you know, retreat.
(14:53):
Into some solitude so that youcan recharge.
This is, you know, that way,eights, eights can really burn
out Jeff.
Cause they're, they're sopassionate and they, they give
so much and they work so hard,but one of the, one of the gifts
of that top five is to show upand say, Hey, let's, uh, let's
know when to dial back theintensity and let's know when to
(15:15):
lay down the tools and rest andrelax and take care of ourself.
Uh, so, um, This is, this is anexample of how the type five
shows up in the life of aneight.
Um, let's talk about Jeff, youwant to talk us through aware,
the aware exercise?
Jeff (15:32):
so AWARE stands, it's an acrostic for a check in exercise
that you can do at any moment,uh, and it can be fast, it can
be something that you spend awhole morning doing, but it's a
way of checking in when youstart to see that one of these
connecting types, so for theType 8 being the Type 2 or the
Type when it's showing up inyour The first part is to awaken
(15:53):
to this.
Type showing up in your and howit's showing up.
You may notice that it's showingup in your body.
It could be a pain or asensation in your body.
Um, it actually may show up inyour breathing.
Let's say it may show up in yourthinking or how you're emoting.
These are all ways to simplyawaken to the reality that this
part of you is online.
(16:15):
and it's trying to meet aparticular need.
Number two is to welcome.
And this is where we move awayfrom contempt, self contempt, or
shame, or any kind of distortedway of thinking.
And we actually welcome this,uh, part of you without denying
it or without justifyingwhatever attributes are showing
up.
We want to extend kindness andcuriosity The next, next is ask.
(16:40):
Start by asking yourself whythis part of you is showing up
in this particular circumstance.
Perhaps it was a memory, perhapsit was, uh, a circumstance,
something happened at work, or afamily member said something to
you in a particular way.
Ask yourself, why is this partof me showing up and what does
it want?
What does it need?
Next is to receive, receive thegift that you are more than just
(17:03):
this one part.
You have other parts of you thatcan help you to identify your
needs.
And move towards them inhealthier ways.
So, for the type 8, you have a 9wing.
You also have a 7 wing.
You also have your other, uh,connecting type.
So, you could be the 2 or the 5.
But to kind of look around atthe rest of your team members
and to ask yourself, How could Imore healthily, um, approach
(17:26):
this situation?
And what would be a healthy wayto actually engage in a new way.
And that's what the last one is,is engage.
the E in aware.
And that is to engage yourselfand your relationships and your
circumstances in a new see,because an Enneagram is not
simply written in stone whereyou are, uh, you know, Uh, you
are put in the box and these arethe only options that you have,
(17:48):
that even whenever you're atyour there is a way in which you
can pivot, where you can changeand a perspective change on what
it is that you need, and what itis that how other people can
help you, can actually help youto new way, in a healthier Well,
uh, why don't we move on, we'regoing to talk about type 9 next.
And type 9s, they're connectedto both type 3 and to type 6.
(18:12):
Now, for the, the type, uh,three part of you gives you the
ability to invest in yourselfand discover your desires and
passions.
Um, you're, this also beingconnected to type three also
causes you to publiclydemonstrate your value and worth
for recognition, uh, which isreally important for the type
nine who wants to invest.
to devalue the value themselvesand oftentimes hide behind other
(18:37):
not extend their value and solet's talk about this three part
of you and how it shows upbecause it can both be a growth
path, the type that you adoptthe healthier attributes, and it
can be a blind spot for you.
So what does it look likewhenever it's serving for the
purposes of growth?
It's where you start torecognize and discover the
desires and talents that God hasgiven you, and you start to
(19:00):
invest yourself in your ownpersonal development.
It draws out something in youthat says, I'm not going to
overlook myself anymore, and I'mgoing to enter into the world
with intentionality.
Uh, perhaps it's part of you canhelp you to become more
confident, energetic, and goafter, energetic and go after
the things that bring you joy.
Or perhaps maybe it could helpyou try to understand your
(19:20):
authentic self by developing ahealthier relationship with your
inner world.
And then lastly, you've stoppedprocrastinating, uh, you
actually are able to movethrough the inertia to get to
the goals that you want toaccomplish.
part, this type three part ofyou can actually help you to do
these things.
And so whenever you're stuck ina situation where you're not
(19:41):
moving or you're avoiding anddenying, perhaps even
suppressing emotions, uh, tapinto the three part of you,
maybe even give it a name and toask what's opinions, what
thoughts does it have about whatyou could do in this moment.
Uh, perhaps you could even thinkabout type threes in your life
that are healthier.
And, uh, sometimes I find that,uh, true for myself.
(20:02):
I've got some, I'm in a group,another group of, uh, a small
group of people.
There's a lot of type threes andI was with them recently and it
helped me with some businessdecisions I needed to make.
Like, yeah, I wonder how hewould respond to this.
He'd probably do these things.
And all of a sudden I wasinspired and ready to go.
Uh, well, the type three part ofyou can also be a blind spot for
you.
So that what that looks like isignoring or suppressing your
(20:23):
emotions, um, and so you end upfocusing on your achievements
and what you're doing for peoplerather than your own goals.
Uh, it's when someone exposesyour weaknesses or failures, do
you feel shame and believe thatyou are worthless, incompetent
or not good enough?
So one last attribute of this,uh, Type 3 part of you is that,
(20:45):
uh, you sometimes are awarethat, uh, Uh, you're using
flattery or charming, uh,charming disposition to draw
attention to your kindness andto your generosity in order to
win the admiration of otherpeople.
So that's the three.
So that's the growth path andthe blind spot path.
(21:05):
Now let's look at the type sixthat's also connected to nine.
It can show up in both healthyand unhealthy ways as well.
Well, so this six part of yougives you the courage to step
out of your comfort zone andinto unfamiliar areas with
courage and with strength andinsight.
And it can cause you to beanxious and to fixate on worst
case scenarios.
Sometimes whenever Beth, I seethe six part of her heart show
(21:27):
up, I'm like, Hey, sweetie,you're coming over to my
neighborhood and I'm not sureyou can handle the anxiety of my
hood.
Adam (21:36):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Leave, leave, leave all theanxiety to me,
Jeff (21:39):
That's right.
I, I will carry it for the bothof us.
So let's talk about wheneverthis type six part of you shows
up in an unhealthy way.
So this would be the stresspath.
And so, um, do you find yourselfexpressing your frustrations,
dissatisfaction, self doubt anddread when anxiety comes up?
(21:59):
Uh, do you have strong internalexternal reactions when someone
blames or accuses you ofsomething?
That's a definitely a, anunhealthy six attribute is
defensiveness.
And when, uh, you sense thatsomething's not right, do you
become suspicious of others, uh,and, uh, start to test their
loyalties?
And then lastly, uh, do you fearthat others will abandon you and
(22:20):
that you'll be left alone?
These are the six parts of youtrying to answer the needs for
security, the needs forassurance in relationships.
Now, it may go about it in anunhealthy way, but this is a way
of identifying it so that thenyou can speak to it.
Practice some self coaching andmaybe start asking the other
parts of you.
How would you handle a situationwhen you're feeling abandoned,
(22:43):
Well, uh, the type six can alsobe, um, the converging path.
That's the path where we're atour most healthiest.
So, um, do you take yourinsecurities to God, trusting
that you'll give, uh, that hewill give you all the clarity
and the strength that you'regoing to need?
Um, are you less accommodating,but still loyal, cooperative,
and focused on the well being ofothers?
(23:04):
Do you demonstrate your courageby stepping out of your comfort
zone into unfamiliar areas?
And are you committed to yourown development?
Intentionally becoming more selfaware and awake in your own
passions?
the aware exercise is similarfor the type nine as it was for
the type eight, but First is tosimply awaken.
Awaken to which of these partsare showing up, but think about
(23:27):
it in terms of what it is thatthey're, that they need.
Uh, number two is to welcome.
When a child comes to you with aquestion and wants a need, uh,
you don't look at them withcontempt, but rather, uh, you
want to extend kindness andmaybe redirect, maybe help them
focus or ask in a better way,but you want to welcome and be
curious Next is simply to askthese parts why they're showing
(23:49):
up right now.
Uh, what is it that they need?
What is it, how does it, they,they perceive things?
What are they feeling?
Last, next is to receive, toreceive that insight and to
receive the gift that you aremore than one thing.
Here are a lot of differentthings.
So you may be both anxious andcourageous.
Um, you may be, uh, have insightand fears of not knowing enough
(24:10):
information.
These, you're a both and, andcan enter into these situations.
And so receive the gift that,that God has equipped you with a
lot of different gifts in orderto enter, enter into these
situations.
Enter into these situations,which is the last one engaging,
engaging yourself, yourrelationships in your world, uh,
in a new way based upon theseinsights.
What does it look like to moveforward in a healthy way versus
(24:32):
some of the misaligned wayswhere you end up, uh, creating
more Adam, you want to take usinto type one?
Adam (24:40):
Yeah, let's round out the gut triad our type one friends.
Uh, type ones are connected inthe lines and arrows to types
four and seven.
And let's, let's talk firstabout that four path.
Um, the, the type fourconnecting type 401 makes up the
stress and the converging path.
(25:01):
And so let's talk first aboutthat stress path.
This is the misaligned traits ofa type four.
This is again, adopting.
the unhealthy attributes of atype four.
Um, so you may notice if you'rea type one, that this shows up
in feelings of resentment, angrythat others are not fulfilling
(25:23):
expectations in a specific orideal way, causing you to get
stuck in your feelings and takeeverything personally.
So if you're noticing, um,particularly strong charge of
sensitivity, That could be aclear indication that, Oh, I'm a
type one, I'm in my stress path.
This is the type four part of meshowing up in a less healthy
(25:47):
way.
You may notice yourselfwithdrawing when you feel moody
or melancholy or misunderstoodto protect yourself, really,
really the image of yourself,your reputation, uh, and you may
choose to work out your emotionsalone.
That could be a healthyresponse, but it could also be a
very clear indication that youare, you know, stiff arming
(26:10):
people that you actually need inyour life to process your
emotions with, and insteadyou're choosing to retreat.
very comfortable in your ownemotional distress and sort of
self isolate.
There's a difference betweenisolation and solitude.
You know, by the way, it's likesolitude is necessary.
(26:31):
Isolation is bad.
Isolation is death to the soul.
Um, and uh, cause you, cause youare, you and I are both made for
relationship.
Um, you may notice yourselfdaydreaming.
about becoming free of yourresponsibilities, just being
your authentic self, not havingto live under the tyranny of
(26:51):
rules.
Sometimes this is really selfimposed They, they, they, so
badly want to follow the rules.
And not be bad.
And they can put, you know,Jeff, we call this the, uh,
sometimes this is called the begood binge pendulum where it's
like, follow the rules, followthe rules, be good, be good, be
(27:12):
a good boy, be a good girl.
Uh, and then all of a suddenit's like, I'm out of here.
Um, and you'll, you'll, you'llnotice this really show up.
I'm kind of getting ahead ofmyself.
This is really the type sevenblind spot that can show up for,
for a type one.
But it can also be the typefour, like, Hey.
I'm tired of all these rules.
(27:33):
And it can be this kind ofrebellious flair that can sort
of show up in the life, reallyuncharacteristic of a one,
honestly, can, take even the oneby surprise.
They can ask themselves, how didI get here?
Um, you may notice a self pity,uh, a certain envy of others
that could lead you to secretiveself indulgences.
(27:55):
This again, is that sort of begood binge pendulum of like,
well, now I'm sort of hidingindulgences, um, and, uh, you
may notice that beginning toshow up.
And so that is a clearindication of a stress path.
Uh, the unhealthy ways thattypes four, a type four can show
(28:15):
up in the life of a type one.
Now there's also, that's alsomakes up the type one's
converging path and the typefour offers tremendous gifts to
the type So you may noticeyourself being less focused on.
I'm going to, I'm going to usewhat's an unfair characteristic
here.
Cause nobody's just all leftbrain or right brain.
(28:36):
I mean, we, we are both brains,but you may notice yourself as a
type one move away from strictlyblack and white thinking of just
what's right and what's wronghow do we fix this?
That's very left brain solutionbased.
And all of a sudden you awakento beauty and emotions and you
(28:57):
have these intense emotionalexperiences and, and, and
feelings and you're burstingwith passion and creativity and
experience.
And so.
experiencing this right brain,left brain integration.
And that my friends is a realgift that the type four brings
to the world.
(29:17):
And if you're a one, they, they,the type four part of your heart
can really gift you with thisexperience.
You may notice yourself, um,withholding judgment and making
room for raw, unprocessedemotions.
Um, one of my dearest friends inthe world is a type one Jeff,
and he'd be the first to tellyou.
(29:38):
So I'm not, I'm not, this is notpublic shame.
This he, would laugh at himselfand say, be the first to tell
you that you come to him with anemotion, I'm sad, I'm hurt, um,
I'm lonely, is going to dip intoa left brain solution and
attempt to fix, fix you and hewants to help, but he sees this
(30:02):
as a black and white problem.
Okay.
Your fear can be fixed.
Here's a Bible verse for you.
Uh, this will fix your, thiswill fix your fear.
But what happens when, when he'soperating, um, as a healthier
version of himself is he holdsthe space beautifully.
I mean, better than anybody,honestly.
Um, and he makes room for raw,unprocessed emotions and
(30:24):
authenticity run wild.
And not afraid of it.
He holds the space and, and,and, and still has all the
truth.
When the time is right, he'll,he's going to bring the truth,
but he's not afraid of theemotions.
And this is that type four partof his heart, that converging
path.
Um, you may notice yourself.
(30:47):
setting aside your to do listand slowing down and just
smelling the roses, honestly,experiencing the beauty of the
present moment.
It's like you even begin as aone and, and, and ones really
want to get here.
This is where they want to be.
They, they're tired.
There's a certain exhaustionthey can being assaulted by
(31:09):
imperfections.
Jeff (31:10):
Hmm.
Adam (31:11):
And that converging path, they begin to see the beauty in
the brokenness.
It's like the beauty ofimperfection.
You go out in creation.
You have ugly and beauty andgrowth and, and, and death all
wrapped up in one, you know, Imean, I just spent a week in
Greensboro, North Carolina onretreat, Jeff, and it's like
(31:33):
being out there and seeing allthese broken dead tree branches
and dead grass and weeds, butthere's also beauty and growth
and everything is green andthere's squirrels playing on
trees and it's like all thatimperfection.
And stuff, it all livestogether.
And so there begins to be acertain tolerance that the type
(31:55):
one has and seeing the beauty inall things.
So this is the converging pathfor a type one.
Now, ones are also connected toseven and sevens make up that
blind spot and that growth pathfor And so let's talk about the
blind spot and we've alreadykind of tipped our hat to it a
(32:16):
little bit, but, um, you mayfind yourself reaching for
escape hatches.
Um, you know, in the IFS world,Jeff, you know, you, you know,
very well, these are calledfirefighters.
This is, I'm looking for astrategy to put out the pain.
You know, my
Jeff (32:32):
Hmm.
Adam (32:33):
my life hurts.
Uh, I need to find something toextinguish the pain.
And so these are, can beunhealthy indulgences.
Um, this can be a, usually forthe type one, it's an escape
from their own inner critic.
It's that binge on the pendulum.
I'm, I'm tired of being good.
I'm tired of the pressure to getit right all the time.
(32:55):
So I'm going to swing.
I'm going to over correct goingto do something that seems very
irrational, very out ofcharacter.
Um, and then I'm going to, whenI sober up emotionally, I'm
going to go, what have I justdone?
Uh, but this is, this is, uh, anescape hatch that you may notice
yourself Um, it may also bejust, um, um, An irrational urge
(33:17):
to just do something that'sseems crazy.
Like, uh, I'm going to take atrip.
I'm going to have a seconddrink.
I'm going to, I'm going to dosomething.
And I'm just going to do it.
Um, I deserve it.
Uh, you know, it's just thisurge to do something that maybe
normally right to the type one.
(33:39):
Um, another classic way you maynotice this blind spot is just
a, just an avoidance of feelingsof pain.
And that's really what all theseescape hatches and.
coping mechanisms is about isgetting you out of pain, but you
may notice just a, an in totalintolerance any kind of feelings
that hurt sadness,disappointment, shame,
(34:00):
loneliness, uh, those aches, youknow, I have very small window
of tolerance for that.
And so you may notice yourselfavoiding.
or even reframing those, thosenegatives into a positive, just
so that you can try to, uh,again, escape those.
And this is that blind spot.
But that's not all that a typeseven is.
(34:22):
Sevens are also a tremendousgift.
Um, and the type seven, uh,makes up the growth path for the
type one.
And, and so some of the waysthat that shows up is you may
experience moments of grace andjoy.
Um, and, and just, you know,have noticed a more.
Self accepting, others acceptingheart.
(34:43):
Um, you may notice that you'reangry, uh, for example, over
imperfections and more joyful.
a, just a happier, more pleasanthearted person.
You may notice that, uh, you'reenthusiastic and spontaneous and
playful, uh, fun, you know,giving yourself the permission
(35:04):
to have fun.
There's a certain, uh, healthto, Hey, undo the top button,
like unbutton and like relax alittle bit, you know, like ha
enjoy your life.
And this is, that sevens canbring to the type know when and
how to relax.
And not take everything,yourself so seriously, but have
(35:26):
a good time.
Enjoy your life.
Um, begin to see that life isnot all serious and daunting,
but it's actually rich with lifegiving experiences and emotions
and, and freedom.
abundance and autonomy, youknow, like you, you, you can,
you can be yourself and, um, youmay notice yourself becoming
(35:49):
less rigid, more relaxed, um,taking great delight in the
present moment.
And so, um, this is an exampleof how that type seven.
growth path can show up for thein the aware exercise.
Um, again, it's the same as itis for the other types, but it
starts with a, an awaken.
(36:11):
And so if you're a type one,there's a, there's a call to
awaken.
You can't do self leadershipwhen you're, when you're asleep.
You know, the first step isthere's essentially, there's an
essential piece of this and it'swaking up, it's noticing,
noticing and naming these partsof you as they're showing up and
how they're showing Um, and thensecond is to welcome what you're
(36:35):
noticing and naming.
If, as a Type 1, especially, youmeet your Type 7 blind spot
escape hatches, with judgment,um, it's not going to go well
for If, on the other hand, yougreet your Type 1, Type 7 escape
(36:56):
hatches, uh, with, uh, withkindness, befriending, with a
welcoming spirit, um, it's goingto, it's going to, if you, if
you're curious with it's, goingto be life It's going to be
transformative for you.
And honestly, those parts aregoing to want to come under your
self leadership.
Um, ask a stands for ask, askthese parts of you that are
(37:20):
showing up in your life rightnow, what they need.
ask them what their, what rolethey're trying to play.
I mean, be curious with theseparts of yourself.
And what's crazy is it's notschizophrenic at all.
You know, like.
Your parts talk to you, um, allday.
I mean, your inner critics talksto you, like they talk to you.
Um, so what if you, what if youtook the lead in talking to
(37:44):
them?
Um, and that's what the, thisask step is about.
And then the R stands forreceive.
Receive the gift of each ofthese each of these aspects of
your soul that are showing upfor you.
And they, they're playing theseroles because they just want to
help um, receive the gift thatthey are and then engage the
(38:06):
East ends for engage.
This is okay.
With this awareness, I'm goingto engage my, my life, myself,
my relationship with my owninternal family.
In a different And, uh, Jeff, isthere anything you want to add
to, to that?
Or as we, as we kind of roundout this discussion, did I miss
anything?
Jeff (38:26):
No, Adam, I, One, I think going through each of the
different ways that we areconnected to other numbers, um,
is that it does add a level ofcomplexity to the but it also
gives honor to the complexitiesof who we are as And that I am
many things all at one And Ihave a lot of competing desires,
(38:52):
um, that some are healthierdesires, some are unhealthy.
So, even whenever an unhealthypart of me wants to show up and
to meet my needs in an unhealthyway, there are other parts of me
that know that.
And that I do have theopportunity to, uh, to ask for
help.
I know that in my own life, inmy own recovery.
(39:13):
One of the things that comes upa lot is asking for help using
the phone and using the and as asix, I, just live alone at
times.
And, uh, And I, I wonder if Ican trust, I, I live with this
fear of maybe I'm too And yet Ialso recognize, uh, the better
(39:33):
parts of me, the healthier partsremind me that we have a team
with YEC.
We have, I have friends, I haverecovery friends.
I am just one text message awayfrom being able to reach out to
someone and to get on a And soall of these parts of us speak
to how complex we are.
But we also, they are gifts,they are, uh, parts of what make
(39:56):
us, uh, strong and give us thechange.
And we want you to feel honoredthat you, you don't, you're not
just stuck.
That's just a part of you thatfeels stuck.
There is an opportunity forgrowth forward.
We just have to learn how toengage with these parts and then
ask for help when we need it.
Adam (40:15):
Very well Well, Jeff, thank you.
And, and to those of youlistening, thank you for joining
our discussion of lines andarrows.
If you found this helpful.
Be sure to like, and subscribe.
Don't forget to ask us yourquestions.
You can reach out to us in thecomments, you know, Jeff and I
love interacting with thecomments and YouTube Instagram.
And so feel free to reach out tous in the comments or email us
(40:37):
at info at your new gram coach.
com.
And if you would like to knowmore about the lines and arrows,
and this reality that Jeff isnaming that we are more than a
number.
Be sure to check out our book,the last section of the book
lays out the specifics for eachtype that Jeff and I are walking
through.
You can have it there in writtenform, and it provides you also
(40:59):
with self coaching exercises tohelp you get to know yourself
better and practice this selfleadership that we keep talking
Um, it's always a pleasure.
Thanks for joining us.
We'll see you in our nextepisode.
Hey everyone.
(00:01):
Have you ever wondered whatthese lines and arrows mean on
the Enneagram symbol?
Well, that's just not ageometric logo.
Those actually mean something.
And in this episode, we're goingto be talking about what those
lines and arrows mean,specifically related to The
types eight nines and ones ofthe gut triad.
So welcome to your Enneagramcoach, the podcast.
(00:23):
Uh, we've helped millions ofpeople around the world to help
them discover, explore, andbecome the people that they've
always longed to be.
I'm Jeff, the co founder of yourEnneagram coach and CEO.
And I am here with our directorof coaching, Adam Breckenridge.
Great job today, Adam.
You wore the uniform.
We're both wearing black shirtsagain.
Adam (00:43):
Yeah.
Yeah.
At this point, we don't evenhave to send a memo about it.
It's just happens
Jeff (00:48):
Now, um, do you have other.
I mean, you've got Kansas CityChief shirts, obviously.
Adam (00:54):
and I've got a lot of razorback shirts too.
Yeah, no, I, I have, um, I haveother t shirts.
They're most mostly, uh, band tshirts.
So I don't usually wear them,you know, to work.
Um, but yeah, I have several,uh, black t And I just wear a
black t shirt every day.
I've, I've found that you candress it up or down, you know,
(01:16):
if you want to throw a jacket onwith it, then all of a sudden it
looks really nice.
Jeff (01:20):
That's awesome.
not thought about that.
Adam (01:24):
but I'll tell you this, my,
Jeff (01:25):
because mine are collared.
Adam (01:26):
oh
Jeff (01:27):
Mine are collared and buttoned I'm a little more
professional than you are,
Adam (01:31):
Yes, you are.
Yes.
Well, in
Jeff (01:33):
is fun.
I'm in a small group, a littleworkbook study group, and
there's a member of the groupthat wears band T shirts.
And, but they're, uh, eightiesband.
So I was sharing last night, uh,what I listened to on my walks
and, um, and they were wearing adeaf leopard shirt and I, I
realized, Oh, I don't have adeaf leopard playlist, but I
(01:55):
would imagine, uh, on a goodlong walk, they could, they
could get you into some steps.
Adam (02:01):
You're gonna, you're gonna need to create a Yeah, you're
going to need to do that prettyquickly.
Yeah.
And I, I have, I willoccasionally wear another t
shirt you know, when I know I'mgoing to be on
Jeff (02:15):
Oh, nice.
Adam (02:16):
it's going, it's going black t shirt.
Jeff (02:18):
It's
Adam (02:18):
Um,
Jeff (02:19):
great.
Well, hey, friends.
Thanks for joining us in thisparticular series.
Our goal is to help you betterunderstand this dynamic element
of the Enneagram, which issuper, super helpful and is one
of the, uh, meaningful insightsthat attract people to the
Enneagram and why they found it.
You find it useful.
(02:40):
But not just descriptions, butwhat we're also wanting to help
you is to give you an exercise,uh, sort of a self check in for
you to practice self leadership,because these are not just
written in stone, these, this iswhat happens to your type, but
you can actually self lead.
And we want to show you how todo that.
So each of the main types on theEnneagram have two other
(03:01):
connecting types that areconnected by a line.
Now, sometimes it's.
portrayed as an arrow.
And the reason why is that ithighlights the dynamic
relationship that our main typehas with this other number.
And every number has two lines.
One way to think about theselines and arrows is to think
about the relationship, uh,between Riley and her emotions
(03:24):
in the movie Inside Out.
Uh, both Adam and I wereinspired by that recently
because our families have spentsome time watching Inside Out 2
and talked about it a lot.
But each of the numbers, uh, inLike in the movie, there are
characters.
And so what we what we'd likefor you to think of is to think
of them as your internal familyor maybe your internal team,
(03:45):
whatever metaphor comes to mindif it's best for you.
Each of the four numbers is likeeach of the characters in Inside
Out.
Think of them like your internalfamily.
And what works for me isthinking of them as my own
internal team.
So whatever metaphor works bestIn Inside Out, each character
represents an emotion.
And for theatrical purposes,each character has its own
(04:08):
personality as well.
They have their own responses.
They have their own coremotivations.
They're all family.
fears, their desires, theirweaknesses, their longings, and
each of them wants to takecontrol of the control board out
of their own interest, their ownperspective.
Well, the same is true about theconnecting types, uh, all,
(04:28):
although they, they don'tnecessarily represent an
emotion, they do represent apersonality.
They have their own responses,they have their own motivations,
their fears, their desires,their weaknesses, their
longings, and each of them wantsto take control out of their own
interests.
Now, each of the two Enneagramtypes that we are connected to
(04:51):
by a line can show up in bothhealthy and unhealthy ways.
Now, that's important toremember because oftentimes it's
taught that one is a stress pathand one's a growth path.
Well, we're going through fourdifferent ways in which they
show up, and they're bothhealthy and they're both And
(05:12):
remember this, because this isalso important, we don't become
these types.
We simply take on the coremotivations and the relational
strategies of that type in orderto try to meet needs.
Also, remember that each ofthese parts of us actually have
positive intent.
They are trying to the best oftheir ability to meet the need
(05:34):
of our core selves.
Now they may be doing so in anunhealthy way, but always
remember that these arestrategies that we've picked up
along the way in order to meetour needs.
And so we need not.
address ourselves with shame orself contempt because actually
that betrays ourselves and itactually leads to self sabotage
relationships.
(05:55):
So there are four terms that weuse to describe how these two
connected types show up and howwe relate to ourselves and how
we relate to others.
The first is the stress path,that's adopting the unhealthy
attributes of that type.
The growth path, adopting thehealthy attributes.
Now here are the new ones.
The blind spot path is a way ofrelating where we are blind to,
(06:19):
usually with close family andclose friends.
And then the last one is theconverging, the converging path,
when we're most free from thelimitations of our personality's
restraints.
So today we're going to betalking about types eight,
nines, and ones.
Be sure to go to the previousepisodes.
Uh, the first episode in theseries, we go through what the
(06:40):
different paths are, the stressgrowth, blind spot, and
converging paths.
The next episode after that, wego through types, uh, five, six,
and seven in the head triad.
Today, we're going to becovering the gut triad for types
eights, nines, and ones.
Adam, you're going to take usthrough type eight.
Adam (06:58):
That's right.
Yeah.
Let's talk about our eightfriends.
If you're an Enneagram eight,you are connected to the, uh,
type two that makes up the typetwo makes up your stress path
and your converging path.
So, uh, again, as Jeff justmentioned, you know, the stress
path would be, uh, eightsadopting the unhealthy
(07:18):
attributes of type two, and thenthe converging path for the
eight.
Um, is when, uh, the healthiestelements of, of every part is
coming together healthiest self.
And so let's talk a little bitabout how to recognize the
stress path traits of a type twoshowing up in the life of a type
(07:39):
eight.
Um, you may fall into, or noticethis part of you showing up that
carries a belief that you haveto earn other people's love and
and you do that by helpingsupporting.
advising, um, insertingyourself, um, over functioning
for lot of my eight friends willfall into this trap because
(08:02):
eights are so strong.
And so dependable that people,you know, the other family
members or whatever teammateswill put more and more and more
on them.
And, and eights can notice thattrapped.
And if I don't perform, if Idon't meet these expectations,
um, then I won't have theaffection of these people that I
want their affection.
So this is one way you mightnotice the type two stress path
(08:25):
showing up.
You may notice yourself buryingyour own needs and emotions.
Which can already be a, uh, anissue for the type eight fearing
that, you know, there'll bebetrayed or their weaknesses
will be used against them.
But when you double click thatreally doubled down on that
fearing that, man, if I have myown needs, um, it's going to
(08:47):
hurt me to have my own needs.
Uh, so I need to bury those.
That's one way the stress path,uh, the type two stress path
shows up.
Um, you may notice yourself, uh,being very reactionary and hurt.
When others don't help you orthey don't care for you in the
same way that you love andsupport and care for them.
(09:08):
Um, and then you may also assumethat, you know, all your motives
and actions are pure with nohidden agenda.
So sometimes a bit of that sortof rescuer complex of.
I do, I do for everyone.
And, and, you know, the realityis you, you probably do, but I,
I do for everyone.
I help everyone.
And there's a real, um,blindness to some of that, uh,
(09:32):
those, those motivations and,and hidden agendas that are in
there of like, I'm reallyserving in order to be loved or
to be, to be.
Um, that's a little bit abouthow the stress path shows up.
Now let's talk about theconverging, uh, traits of a type
Um, this is where, man, this iswhere as an eight, you really,
(09:53):
really shine.
Eights have such a passion forthe They are justice oriented,
you know, being in the guttriad, they, they, they have,
they're big hearted and theyhave a big heart for, The
marginalized, underdog, thehelpless, the powerless.
And when you notice yourself asan aid, stewarding your strength
(10:15):
to serve the weak, um, to, tomake yourself a servant leader,
uh, this is when, this isprobably your converging, uh,
path.
This is probably the best of thetype to showing up and gifting
you with a supernatural ability.
Uh, to serve and, and, and tocare for others.
(10:36):
Um, you'll notice yourself, uh,a real tenderness, you know,
when you, when you have, whenyou feel the bleeding heart and
the compassion, the, thetenderness, that's, that's your,
probably your converging path.
Um, when you, when you're warmlyresponsive.
You know, uh, rather than just,you know, bulldozing, but, but,
(10:57):
uh, but warmly responsive andgenerous with your time,
talents, abilities, and socialconnections.
Uh, when you notice yourself,like I said, becoming more
empathetic and aware.
Um, you know, and maybesometimes you need to pause in
your pursuit of justice to tendto immediate wounds and needs
around you.
This, this is usually an exampleor usually a fruit of, okay,
(11:20):
you're on your best path.
You're becoming your best, mostmature self.
And this is that converging pathwhere the type two part of your
heart is showing up to reallygift you and really maximize on
your power.
Um, as, as an eight.
Sometimes we call that meekness,Jeff.
It's like, Isn't meekness, uh,power under restraint?
(11:44):
Like it's like power that'sstewarded, you know, and this is
that eight and two part, youknow, working together.
So, um, okay.
Eights are not only connectedbut if you look at the lines and
arrows, you're also connected tofive.
And the five makes up the, um,the blind spot and the growth
(12:06):
path.
The growth path and the blindspot path and again, this is
usually shows up in your mostsecure relationships when you
really kind of let your guarddown.
Um, but you may notice thatyou're becoming fiercely
independent.
know, having like taller,thicker boundaries and walls to
protect yourself.
(12:26):
Um, and, and sort of withdrawfrom people.
If you've got people that youlive with that are saying, Hey,
I'm lonely with you and you're atype eight.
And, and you, you know, most ofthe time it's like, I'm right
here.
You know, my, I'm fiercelypresent.
My presence is known everywhereI go, but it may be an
indication that, okay, you're,you're withdrawn right now.
(12:46):
Um, you've put up some walls andthis is one of the ways that the
type five can show up, in thatblind spot for Um, if you notice
that before moving forward, youneed to, you know, intellect to
sort out your feelings anddesires store up more
information.
(13:06):
Um, if, if you grow tired ofalways being the protective one
and you see yourself needing todetach, um, if you find yourself
becoming secretive, moreisolated, uh, again, to protect
yourself from betrayal or frombeing depleted.
Um, if you feel that.
You know, you're alone to carefor and protect yourself.
(13:27):
This is, this is all evidencesof that type five blind spot
that can show up in the life ofan eight.
Uh, but now that's not the onlyway type five shows up It also
shows up in that growth path.
And this is where you begin tonotice a healthier gifts that
the type five brings you as anSo it can show up as combining
(13:50):
your intellectual insights.
With your intense passion, uh,to produce original works to, to
bless the world.
You may notice yourselfgenerously giving others, you
know, the, the, your, yourhelpful insights and information
that you've gathered, um, youknow, using your brilliance and
(14:11):
insights in very generous ways,connecting with others, not just
on a passionate level, but on anintellectual level, and you may
become more introspective in ahealthy way, like more.
It's okay to be in your head alittle bit, uh, and examining
your, your inner world a littlebit.
(14:31):
And type fives are verycomfortable in that, in that
inner intellectual world, uh, orjust the world of themselves.
Uh, and so you may noticeyourself more aware of your
inner world, you know, knowingwhen to having the wisdom to
know when to relax, when torecharge your body, uh, when to
give yourself away and when to,you know, retreat.
(14:53):
Into some solitude so that youcan recharge.
This is, you know, that way,eights, eights can really burn
out Jeff.
Cause they're, they're sopassionate and they, they give
so much and they work so hard,but one of the, one of the gifts
of that top five is to show upand say, Hey, let's, uh, let's
know when to dial back theintensity and let's know when to
(15:15):
lay down the tools and rest andrelax and take care of ourself.
Uh, so, um, This is, this is anexample of how the type five
shows up in the life of aneight.
Um, let's talk about Jeff, youwant to talk us through aware,
the aware exercise?
Jeff (15:32):
so AWARE stands, it's an acrostic for a check in exercise
that you can do at any moment,uh, and it can be fast, it can
be something that you spend awhole morning doing, but it's a
way of checking in when youstart to see that one of these
connecting types, so for theType 8 being the Type 2 or the
Type when it's showing up inyour The first part is to awaken
(15:53):
to this.
Type showing up in your and howit's showing up.
You may notice that it's showingup in your body.
It could be a pain or asensation in your body.
Um, it actually may show up inyour breathing.
Let's say it may show up in yourthinking or how you're emoting.
These are all ways to simplyawaken to the reality that this
part of you is online.
(16:15):
and it's trying to meet aparticular need.
Number two is to welcome.
And this is where we move awayfrom contempt, self contempt, or
shame, or any kind of distortedway of thinking.
And we actually welcome this,uh, part of you without denying
it or without justifyingwhatever attributes are showing
up.
We want to extend kindness andcuriosity The next, next is ask.
(16:40):
Start by asking yourself whythis part of you is showing up
in this particular circumstance.
Perhaps it was a memory, perhapsit was, uh, a circumstance,
something happened at work, or afamily member said something to
you in a particular way.
Ask yourself, why is this partof me showing up and what does
it want?
What does it need?
Next is to receive, receive thegift that you are more than just
(17:03):
this one part.
You have other parts of you thatcan help you to identify your
needs.
And move towards them inhealthier ways.
So, for the type 8, you have a 9wing.
You also have a 7 wing.
You also have your other, uh,connecting type.
So, you could be the 2 or the 5.
But to kind of look around atthe rest of your team members
and to ask yourself, How could Imore healthily, um, approach
(17:26):
this situation?
And what would be a healthy wayto actually engage in a new way.
And that's what the last one is,is engage.
the E in aware.
And that is to engage yourselfand your relationships and your
circumstances in a new see,because an Enneagram is not
simply written in stone whereyou are, uh, you know, Uh, you
are put in the box and these arethe only options that you have,
(17:48):
that even whenever you're atyour there is a way in which you
can pivot, where you can changeand a perspective change on what
it is that you need, and what itis that how other people can
help you, can actually help youto new way, in a healthier Well,
uh, why don't we move on, we'regoing to talk about type 9 next.
And type 9s, they're connectedto both type 3 and to type 6.
(18:12):
Now, for the, the type, uh,three part of you gives you the
ability to invest in yourselfand discover your desires and
passions.
Um, you're, this also beingconnected to type three also
causes you to publiclydemonstrate your value and worth
for recognition, uh, which isreally important for the type
nine who wants to invest.
to devalue the value themselvesand oftentimes hide behind other
(18:37):
not extend their value and solet's talk about this three part
of you and how it shows upbecause it can both be a growth
path, the type that you adoptthe healthier attributes, and it
can be a blind spot for you.
So what does it look likewhenever it's serving for the
purposes of growth?
It's where you start torecognize and discover the
desires and talents that God hasgiven you, and you start to
(19:00):
invest yourself in your ownpersonal development.
It draws out something in youthat says, I'm not going to
overlook myself anymore, and I'mgoing to enter into the world
with intentionality.
Uh, perhaps it's part of you canhelp you to become more
confident, energetic, and goafter, energetic and go after
the things that bring you joy.
Or perhaps maybe it could helpyou try to understand your
(19:20):
authentic self by developing ahealthier relationship with your
inner world.
And then lastly, you've stoppedprocrastinating, uh, you
actually are able to movethrough the inertia to get to
the goals that you want toaccomplish.
part, this type three part ofyou can actually help you to do
these things.
And so whenever you're stuck ina situation where you're not
(19:41):
moving or you're avoiding anddenying, perhaps even
suppressing emotions, uh, tapinto the three part of you,
maybe even give it a name and toask what's opinions, what
thoughts does it have about whatyou could do in this moment.
Uh, perhaps you could even thinkabout type threes in your life
that are healthier.
And, uh, sometimes I find that,uh, true for myself.
(20:02):
I've got some, I'm in a group,another group of, uh, a small
group of people.
There's a lot of type threes andI was with them recently and it
helped me with some businessdecisions I needed to make.
Like, yeah, I wonder how hewould respond to this.
He'd probably do these things.
And all of a sudden I wasinspired and ready to go.
Uh, well, the type three part ofyou can also be a blind spot for
you.
So that what that looks like isignoring or suppressing your
(20:23):
emotions, um, and so you end upfocusing on your achievements
and what you're doing for peoplerather than your own goals.
Uh, it's when someone exposesyour weaknesses or failures, do
you feel shame and believe thatyou are worthless, incompetent
or not good enough?
So one last attribute of this,uh, Type 3 part of you is that,
(20:45):
uh, you sometimes are awarethat, uh, Uh, you're using
flattery or charming, uh,charming disposition to draw
attention to your kindness andto your generosity in order to
win the admiration of otherpeople.
So that's the three.
So that's the growth path andthe blind spot path.
(21:05):
Now let's look at the type sixthat's also connected to nine.
It can show up in both healthyand unhealthy ways as well.
Well, so this six part of yougives you the courage to step
out of your comfort zone andinto unfamiliar areas with
courage and with strength andinsight.
And it can cause you to beanxious and to fixate on worst
case scenarios.
Sometimes whenever Beth, I seethe six part of her heart show
(21:27):
up, I'm like, Hey, sweetie,you're coming over to my
neighborhood and I'm not sureyou can handle the anxiety of my
hood.
Adam (21:36):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Leave, leave, leave all theanxiety to me,
Jeff (21:39):
That's right.
I, I will carry it for the bothof us.
So let's talk about wheneverthis type six part of you shows
up in an unhealthy way.
So this would be the stresspath.
And so, um, do you find yourselfexpressing your frustrations,
dissatisfaction, self doubt anddread when anxiety comes up?
(21:59):
Uh, do you have strong internalexternal reactions when someone
blames or accuses you ofsomething?
That's a definitely a, anunhealthy six attribute is
defensiveness.
And when, uh, you sense thatsomething's not right, do you
become suspicious of others, uh,and, uh, start to test their
loyalties?
And then lastly, uh, do you fearthat others will abandon you and
(22:20):
that you'll be left alone?
These are the six parts of youtrying to answer the needs for
security, the needs forassurance in relationships.
Now, it may go about it in anunhealthy way, but this is a way
of identifying it so that thenyou can speak to it.
Practice some self coaching andmaybe start asking the other
parts of you.
How would you handle a situationwhen you're feeling abandoned,
(22:43):
Well, uh, the type six can alsobe, um, the converging path.
That's the path where we're atour most healthiest.
So, um, do you take yourinsecurities to God, trusting
that you'll give, uh, that hewill give you all the clarity
and the strength that you'regoing to need?
Um, are you less accommodating,but still loyal, cooperative,
and focused on the well being ofothers?
(23:04):
Do you demonstrate your courageby stepping out of your comfort
zone into unfamiliar areas?
And are you committed to yourown development?
Intentionally becoming more selfaware and awake in your own
passions?
the aware exercise is similarfor the type nine as it was for
the type eight, but First is tosimply awaken.
Awaken to which of these partsare showing up, but think about
(23:27):
it in terms of what it is thatthey're, that they need.
Uh, number two is to welcome.
When a child comes to you with aquestion and wants a need, uh,
you don't look at them withcontempt, but rather, uh, you
want to extend kindness andmaybe redirect, maybe help them
focus or ask in a better way,but you want to welcome and be
curious Next is simply to askthese parts why they're showing
(23:49):
up right now.
Uh, what is it that they need?
What is it, how does it, they,they perceive things?
What are they feeling?
Last, next is to receive, toreceive that insight and to
receive the gift that you aremore than one thing.
Here are a lot of differentthings.
So you may be both anxious andcourageous.
Um, you may be, uh, have insightand fears of not knowing enough
(24:10):
information.
These, you're a both and, andcan enter into these situations.
And so receive the gift that,that God has equipped you with a
lot of different gifts in orderto enter, enter into these
situations.
Enter into these situations,which is the last one engaging,
engaging yourself, yourrelationships in your world, uh,
in a new way based upon theseinsights.
What does it look like to moveforward in a healthy way versus
(24:32):
some of the misaligned wayswhere you end up, uh, creating
more Adam, you want to take usinto type one?
Adam (24:40):
Yeah, let's round out the gut triad our type one friends.
Uh, type ones are connected inthe lines and arrows to types
four and seven.
And let's, let's talk firstabout that four path.
Um, the, the type fourconnecting type 401 makes up the
stress and the converging path.
(25:01):
And so let's talk first aboutthat stress path.
This is the misaligned traits ofa type four.
This is again, adopting.
the unhealthy attributes of atype four.
Um, so you may notice if you'rea type one, that this shows up
in feelings of resentment, angrythat others are not fulfilling
(25:23):
expectations in a specific orideal way, causing you to get
stuck in your feelings and takeeverything personally.
So if you're noticing, um,particularly strong charge of
sensitivity, That could be aclear indication that, Oh, I'm a
type one, I'm in my stress path.
This is the type four part of meshowing up in a less healthy
(25:47):
way.
You may notice yourselfwithdrawing when you feel moody
or melancholy or misunderstoodto protect yourself, really,
really the image of yourself,your reputation, uh, and you may
choose to work out your emotionsalone.
That could be a healthyresponse, but it could also be a
very clear indication that youare, you know, stiff arming
(26:10):
people that you actually need inyour life to process your
emotions with, and insteadyou're choosing to retreat.
very comfortable in your ownemotional distress and sort of
self isolate.
There's a difference betweenisolation and solitude.
You know, by the way, it's likesolitude is necessary.
(26:31):
Isolation is bad.
Isolation is death to the soul.
Um, and uh, cause you, cause youare, you and I are both made for
relationship.
Um, you may notice yourselfdaydreaming.
about becoming free of yourresponsibilities, just being
your authentic self, not havingto live under the tyranny of
(26:51):
rules.
Sometimes this is really selfimposed They, they, they, so
badly want to follow the rules.
And not be bad.
And they can put, you know,Jeff, we call this the, uh,
sometimes this is called the begood binge pendulum where it's
like, follow the rules, followthe rules, be good, be good, be
(27:12):
a good boy, be a good girl.
Uh, and then all of a suddenit's like, I'm out of here.
Um, and you'll, you'll, you'llnotice this really show up.
I'm kind of getting ahead ofmyself.
This is really the type sevenblind spot that can show up for,
for a type one.
But it can also be the typefour, like, Hey.
I'm tired of all these rules.
(27:33):
And it can be this kind ofrebellious flair that can sort
of show up in the life, reallyuncharacteristic of a one,
honestly, can, take even the oneby surprise.
They can ask themselves, how didI get here?
Um, you may notice a self pity,uh, a certain envy of others
that could lead you to secretiveself indulgences.
(27:55):
This again, is that sort of begood binge pendulum of like,
well, now I'm sort of hidingindulgences, um, and, uh, you
may notice that beginning toshow up.
And so that is a clearindication of a stress path.
Uh, the unhealthy ways thattypes four, a type four can show
(28:15):
up in the life of a type one.
Now there's also, that's alsomakes up the type one's
converging path and the typefour offers tremendous gifts to
the type So you may noticeyourself being less focused on.
I'm going to, I'm going to usewhat's an unfair characteristic
here.
Cause nobody's just all leftbrain or right brain.
(28:36):
I mean, we, we are both brains,but you may notice yourself as a
type one move away from strictlyblack and white thinking of just
what's right and what's wronghow do we fix this?
That's very left brain solutionbased.
And all of a sudden you awakento beauty and emotions and you
(28:57):
have these intense emotionalexperiences and, and, and
feelings and you're burstingwith passion and creativity and
experience.
And so.
experiencing this right brain,left brain integration.
And that my friends is a realgift that the type four brings
to the world.
(29:17):
And if you're a one, they, they,the type four part of your heart
can really gift you with thisexperience.
You may notice yourself, um,withholding judgment and making
room for raw, unprocessedemotions.
Um, one of my dearest friends inthe world is a type one Jeff,
and he'd be the first to tellyou.
(29:38):
So I'm not, I'm not, this is notpublic shame.
This he, would laugh at himselfand say, be the first to tell
you that you come to him with anemotion, I'm sad, I'm hurt, um,
I'm lonely, is going to dip intoa left brain solution and
attempt to fix, fix you and hewants to help, but he sees this
(30:02):
as a black and white problem.
Okay.
Your fear can be fixed.
Here's a Bible verse for you.
Uh, this will fix your, thiswill fix your fear.
But what happens when, when he'soperating, um, as a healthier
version of himself is he holdsthe space beautifully.
I mean, better than anybody,honestly.
Um, and he makes room for raw,unprocessed emotions and
(30:24):
authenticity run wild.
And not afraid of it.
He holds the space and, and,and, and still has all the
truth.
When the time is right, he'll,he's going to bring the truth,
but he's not afraid of theemotions.
And this is that type four partof his heart, that converging
path.
Um, you may notice yourself.
(30:47):
setting aside your to do listand slowing down and just
smelling the roses, honestly,experiencing the beauty of the
present moment.
It's like you even begin as aone and, and, and ones really
want to get here.
This is where they want to be.
They, they're tired.
There's a certain exhaustionthey can being assaulted by
(31:09):
imperfections.
Jeff (31:10):
Hmm.
Adam (31:11):
And that converging path, they begin to see the beauty in
the brokenness.
It's like the beauty ofimperfection.
You go out in creation.
You have ugly and beauty andgrowth and, and, and death all
wrapped up in one, you know, Imean, I just spent a week in
Greensboro, North Carolina onretreat, Jeff, and it's like
(31:33):
being out there and seeing allthese broken dead tree branches
and dead grass and weeds, butthere's also beauty and growth
and everything is green andthere's squirrels playing on
trees and it's like all thatimperfection.
And stuff, it all livestogether.
And so there begins to be acertain tolerance that the type
(31:55):
one has and seeing the beauty inall things.
So this is the converging pathfor a type one.
Now, ones are also connected toseven and sevens make up that
blind spot and that growth pathfor And so let's talk about the
blind spot and we've alreadykind of tipped our hat to it a
(32:16):
little bit, but, um, you mayfind yourself reaching for
escape hatches.
Um, you know, in the IFS world,Jeff, you know, you, you know,
very well, these are calledfirefighters.
This is, I'm looking for astrategy to put out the pain.
You know, my
Jeff (32:32):
Hmm.
Adam (32:33):
my life hurts.
Uh, I need to find something toextinguish the pain.
And so these are, can beunhealthy indulgences.
Um, this can be a, usually forthe type one, it's an escape
from their own inner critic.
It's that binge on the pendulum.
I'm, I'm tired of being good.
I'm tired of the pressure to getit right all the time.
(32:55):
So I'm going to swing.
I'm going to over correct goingto do something that seems very
irrational, very out ofcharacter.
Um, and then I'm going to, whenI sober up emotionally, I'm
going to go, what have I justdone?
Uh, but this is, this is, uh, anescape hatch that you may notice
yourself Um, it may also bejust, um, um, An irrational urge
(33:17):
to just do something that'sseems crazy.
Like, uh, I'm going to take atrip.
I'm going to have a seconddrink.
I'm going to, I'm going to dosomething.
And I'm just going to do it.
Um, I deserve it.
Uh, you know, it's just thisurge to do something that maybe
normally right to the type one.
(33:39):
Um, another classic way you maynotice this blind spot is just
a, just an avoidance of feelingsof pain.
And that's really what all theseescape hatches and.
coping mechanisms is about isgetting you out of pain, but you
may notice just a, an in totalintolerance any kind of feelings
that hurt sadness,disappointment, shame,
(34:00):
loneliness, uh, those aches, youknow, I have very small window
of tolerance for that.
And so you may notice yourselfavoiding.
or even reframing those, thosenegatives into a positive, just
so that you can try to, uh,again, escape those.
And this is that blind spot.
But that's not all that a typeseven is.
(34:22):
Sevens are also a tremendousgift.
Um, and the type seven, uh,makes up the growth path for the
type one.
And, and so some of the waysthat that shows up is you may
experience moments of grace andjoy.
Um, and, and just, you know,have noticed a more.
Self accepting, others acceptingheart.
(34:43):
Um, you may notice that you'reangry, uh, for example, over
imperfections and more joyful.
a, just a happier, more pleasanthearted person.
You may notice that, uh, you'reenthusiastic and spontaneous and
playful, uh, fun, you know,giving yourself the permission
(35:04):
to have fun.
There's a certain, uh, healthto, Hey, undo the top button,
like unbutton and like relax alittle bit, you know, like ha
enjoy your life.
And this is, that sevens canbring to the type know when and
how to relax.
And not take everything,yourself so seriously, but have
(35:26):
a good time.
Enjoy your life.
Um, begin to see that life isnot all serious and daunting,
but it's actually rich with lifegiving experiences and emotions
and, and freedom.
abundance and autonomy, youknow, like you, you, you can,
you can be yourself and, um, youmay notice yourself becoming
(35:49):
less rigid, more relaxed, um,taking great delight in the
present moment.
And so, um, this is an exampleof how that type seven.
growth path can show up for thein the aware exercise.
Um, again, it's the same as itis for the other types, but it
starts with a, an awaken.
(36:11):
And so if you're a type one,there's a, there's a call to
awaken.
You can't do self leadershipwhen you're, when you're asleep.
You know, the first step isthere's essentially, there's an
essential piece of this and it'swaking up, it's noticing,
noticing and naming these partsof you as they're showing up and
how they're showing Um, and thensecond is to welcome what you're
(36:35):
noticing and naming.
If, as a Type 1, especially, youmeet your Type 7 blind spot
escape hatches, with judgment,um, it's not going to go well
for If, on the other hand, yougreet your Type 1, Type 7 escape
(36:56):
hatches, uh, with, uh, withkindness, befriending, with a
welcoming spirit, um, it's goingto, it's going to, if you, if
you're curious with it's, goingto be life It's going to be
transformative for you.
And honestly, those parts aregoing to want to come under your
self leadership.
Um, ask a stands for ask, askthese parts of you that are
(37:20):
showing up in your life rightnow, what they need.
ask them what their, what rolethey're trying to play.
I mean, be curious with theseparts of yourself.
And what's crazy is it's notschizophrenic at all.
You know, like.
Your parts talk to you, um, allday.
I mean, your inner critics talksto you, like they talk to you.
Um, so what if you, what if youtook the lead in talking to
(37:44):
them?
Um, and that's what the, thisask step is about.
And then the R stands forreceive.
Receive the gift of each ofthese each of these aspects of
your soul that are showing upfor you.
And they, they're playing theseroles because they just want to
help um, receive the gift thatthey are and then engage the
(38:06):
East ends for engage.
This is okay.
With this awareness, I'm goingto engage my, my life, myself,
my relationship with my owninternal family.
In a different And, uh, Jeff, isthere anything you want to add
to, to that?
Or as we, as we kind of roundout this discussion, did I miss
anything?
Jeff (38:26):
No, Adam, I, One, I think going through each of the
different ways that we areconnected to other numbers, um,
is that it does add a level ofcomplexity to the but it also
gives honor to the complexitiesof who we are as And that I am
many things all at one And Ihave a lot of competing desires,
(38:52):
um, that some are healthierdesires, some are unhealthy.
So, even whenever an unhealthypart of me wants to show up and
to meet my needs in an unhealthyway, there are other parts of me
that know that.
And that I do have theopportunity to, uh, to ask for
help.
I know that in my own life, inmy own recovery.
(39:13):
One of the things that comes upa lot is asking for help using
the phone and using the and as asix, I, just live alone at
times.
And, uh, And I, I wonder if Ican trust, I, I live with this
fear of maybe I'm too And yet Ialso recognize, uh, the better
(39:33):
parts of me, the healthier partsremind me that we have a team
with YEC.
We have, I have friends, I haverecovery friends.
I am just one text message awayfrom being able to reach out to
someone and to get on a And soall of these parts of us speak
to how complex we are.
But we also, they are gifts,they are, uh, parts of what make
(39:56):
us, uh, strong and give us thechange.
And we want you to feel honoredthat you, you don't, you're not
just stuck.
That's just a part of you thatfeels stuck.
There is an opportunity forgrowth forward.
We just have to learn how toengage with these parts and then
ask for help when we need it.
Adam (40:15):
Very well Well, Jeff, thank you.
And, and to those of youlistening, thank you for joining
our discussion of lines andarrows.
If you found this helpful.
Be sure to like, and subscribe.
Don't forget to ask us yourquestions.
You can reach out to us in thecomments, you know, Jeff and I
love interacting with thecomments and YouTube Instagram.
And so feel free to reach out tous in the comments or email us
(40:37):
at info at your new gram coach.
com.
And if you would like to knowmore about the lines and arrows,
and this reality that Jeff isnaming that we are more than a
number.
Be sure to check out our book,the last section of the book
lays out the specifics for eachtype that Jeff and I are walking
through.
You can have it there in writtenform, and it provides you also
(40:59):
with self coaching exercises tohelp you get to know yourself
better and practice this selfleadership that we keep talking
Um, it's always a pleasure.
Thanks for joining us.
We'll see you in our nextepisode.
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