Missy Franklin on Motherhood and Instilling a Love for Sports

Missy Franklin joins Greg Olsen to share her journey from Olympic success to motherhood and life after swimming. They talk about the lessons she learned early in her career, how she approaches parenting today, and why instilling a love for sports matters more than chasing medals. A heartfelt conversation about growth, perspective, and family.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Make sure you subscribe to both our YouTube channel and our RSS
feed for all future conversations here at you think
What's up everybody? Welcome back to another episode
here on you think and I'm super pumped for our guest today.
One of the most accomplished Olympians in history for five
time gold medalist, incredible athlete, great story met your

(00:22):
husband. He's OK more excited to talk to
you Hayes kidding talk to Hayes asked him 5000 questions but the
no no one other than Missy Franklin.
Thank you so much for joining ushere on you think of.
Course Greg, you come very highly recommended from Hayes so
I'm. So we had a blast here.
He told me he said y'all had so much fun.

(00:44):
I'm probably, he probably left and he was like that guy's nuts.
He asked me 5000 questions. I was just so fascinated from
talking to them both about just the world and the experience for
young athletes and how it the trajectory of becoming obviously
an Olympian, which is obviously the dream.
I I just found myself saying if our kids had any idea what the

(01:05):
swimming culture was like at a young age, they would not
complain about their two baseball practices a week where
they didn't even break a sweat. It's pretty intense.
It's pretty intense. But at the same time, like
swimming is one of those sports where Hayes and I, we were such
strong advocates for this of kids just doing what they're
passionate about because that passion is going to take you so

(01:28):
much further. And when the sport does start to
get harder and you're starting to make sacrifices and as a as a
kid, you have to love what you're doing to really stay in
it and want to continue to work hard.
So it is intense, but I think Hayes and I both had the same
experience if we just loved it. So we almost didn't even realize
it. Like that was just the normal
for us. Well, I asked, hey, so I'm going

(01:50):
to ask you the same question. And I think this is kind of like
at the center of everything else.
We dive into the rest of this conversation.
Can you teach a kid to love it? So let's stick with swimming.
Can you teach a kid to love getting up at 5:00 AM for the
morning session and then after school the afternoon session,
the dry land work? Like can you teach them that

(02:13):
grind and can you teach them to love it?
Or are you just, are you just born with it?
I think it's a mix and that's a great question.
I think you have both. I think you have some people
that are born and they're just like, I want to be in the water.
I love the work, the workouts, the work ethic, the amount of of
energy and intensity, but then the payoff at the end and how

(02:35):
amazing that feels. But then I also think you have
the athletes that are maybe morehesitant and that realize what
an insane amount of work it is and realize the sacrifices they
do have to make. And it might take a little bit
more time for them to kind of get into it.
But then they might start to getthat feeling of like, hey, I
work so hard for this moment. And when I touched my hand to

(02:56):
the wall and turned around and saw that time, it was worth it.
Like I, I, I recognize that I may not have thought that at
first, but now I feel that. And that's going to motivate me
to go even further. And so I think keeping an eye
out for both, but there's definitely also the cases where
you're going to put kids in it and they're going to be like,
Nope, this is. This is not for me.
Not my thing. So how much different is your

(03:19):
perspective like? So take us back both into the
the mind of a young Missy Franklin starting her Olympic
journey as a little girl and maybe how the mindset then
compared to now. Obviously, how you look back on
retrospect. It's a lot easier to look back
now in hindsight and say it was all worth it.
I was an Olympian. I was one of the most heralded
Olympians in history. You know, obviously your 2012

(03:42):
kind of coming out party in London, I remember watching that
at training camp. Like, we all remember those
moments. So it's easy to say, oh, yeah,
it was all worth, worth it for Missy.
She became so accomplished before all the accomplishments,
before you busted onto the sceneat what, 17 or whatever.
Tell us about the 8 year old Missy Franklin.

(04:03):
Like where was her mindset when they said and you're like, I'm
going to do what? Like this is the path to being
an Olympian. Like I know I want to do it, but
I don't know if I really want todo all of that.
Yeah, that's a great question, Greg.
I think for me, something that has always been very intuitive
with my mindset is I have alwaysenjoyed the journey just as much

(04:25):
if not more than the destination.
And I think especially when I was younger, that was really
beneficial to me because I didn't just love going to
competitions and swimming fast. I loved going to practice every
day. Like I love spending two hours
with my best friends talking on the wall in between intervals.
I loved the feeling after hard workouts.
Like for me, that brought me joy, that made me really happy.

(04:49):
And so when I started to get an understanding, which I would say
was probably, I made my first Olympic trial cuts when I was
12, and I went to Olympic travels when I was 13 in 2008.
And that for me was like, right,like an unreal moment, you know,
being not only in the same area,but swimming in the same pool as

(05:09):
Natalie Coughlin and Nathan Adrian and Ryan Lochte.
And it's just like, this is happening.
Like I'm I'm here and I can actually see a pathway where
this is my future and I can makethis happen.
This episode of You Think is brought to you by Players
Health, a company that believes youth athletes deserve the
safest and the most accessible environments possible to play

(05:31):
the sports they love. To break this down, I spoke with
Tyree Burks, Players Health's founder and CEO, to hear the
mission and principles of Players Health first hand.
We have a really special guest, the founder of Players Health,
Terry Burks. Tyree, thanks for joining us
here on You Think. I'd love to just hear a little
bit about your background, a little bit about starting and

(05:53):
founding of Players Health and really just why you saw a hole
in the youth sports kind of world that you thought needed to
be filled and and it is being filled by your work with your
team at Players Health. My background and where I grew
up, the environment that I grew up in played a huge part of me
creating players health. I grew up in the South side of
Chicago. Sports truly saved my life.

(06:13):
And when I say that like I had an opportunity to choose to pass
either, it was the streets of sports.
And fortunately enough, I chose sports.
I was invited to come out to a youth football practice.
I showed up early and I stayed late and it kept me out of the
streets. And so there's been two things
that I've been obsessed with, you know, the past, call it 15
years of my call it professionalcareer as I've been, I've been

(06:36):
focused on safety and I've been focused on sports.
Like I've just been obsessed with those things.
I know what it feels like to grow up in an environment with
safety as a luxury. And sports was a safe place for
me through that experience. I had all these injuries growing
up. I had, I got 3 bulging discs in
my neck. I end up tearing my hamstrings,
broken fingers, ligaments, you know, just playing sports and,

(06:57):
and playing football. We didn't have athletic trainers
growing up with the school I went to.
And then until I went to the college level, I really didn't
understand solid season protocols around how these
things were managed. And so when I look back over my
career, I end up playing in the Canadian Football League for a
couple years and I decided to hang it up.
I started to reflect on my career and go, hey, how these

(07:19):
injuries would have been made. There's a lot better when I was
younger, like who knows what would have happened, but maybe I
would have played a lot longer. And so I started to look at the
impact that I wanted to make in,in my life and, and, and also in
the world. And sports was such a huge,
played a huge role in my life. So I wanted to give back to it
and players, something was, was my way of going about doing
that. And so our mission, they've been

(07:40):
the same mission since day one, which is how do we create the
safest environment for an athlete to play the sport that
they love. I think this is something that
the world needs for our youth. And so we've been focused on
leaning into creating those safespaces.
Here at you think we want to bring value to you, the parents,
coaches, the athletes listening in everything that we do.
Check out Players Health today and let them know Youth Inc sent

(08:02):
you Now back to the episode. OK, so we spend so much of our
time saying like we don't need kids to know what they are at
12. Continue to try other things.
The caveat should be except if you could go to the Olympics,
like if you can go to the Olympics at 12, then you can
pick a sport and you nothing we say has anything to do with you.

(08:22):
But like, I need to know you're 12 years old and you're at the
Olympic trials and at 13, like Ihave to imagine you were the
only one. Like I have to imagine there was
no one even. Two, I think there was 213.
Years there was multiple 13 yearolds at the Olympics.
Olympic Trials. Olympic Trials, that's what I
mean. Olympic trials is that unique,

(08:45):
Like how? At what age do you know?
Okay, I'm different than everybody else.
When you're swimming as a 7 yearold, yeah.
Are you that much better that you're swimming like you're a 10
year old? Like I know in gymnastics,
right, there's like ratings. So it's not so much like how old
you are, but it's like, OK, I'm a, what is it a nine?
I'm a level 9, I'm a level 10 and that's kind of how you gauge

(09:08):
it doesn't matter really what age you are.
How do they do it in swimming? Like are you racing against 10
year old girls or are you racingagainst girls that might be 14
but it's all based on like your qualifying times.
Yeah. So normally when you're an age
group somewhere you're swimming against people your own age and
that's only within a two year age group.
So you'll have 6 and unders 7 eighths, 9 tens 11121314.

(09:31):
Like that's kind of how. You're That makes sense.
That makes sense to my brain. Yes, once you get to the club
level and you're starting to swim year round, that's when
time standards become universal.So if you're trying to qualify
for a sectional me or for a junior nationals, there's just
time standards. It doesn't matter how old you
are, you have to make those timestandards in order to qualify

(09:53):
for that competition. And so that's exactly how
Olympic Trials works as well. There's an Olympic trial cut for
every event. It doesn't matter how old you
are, how long you've been swimming, where you come from,
if you make an Olympic trial cut, you can go and compete at
Olympic Trials. So.
Which is so cool. It's so cool, right?
Like it's just so objective. Do you have a middle school
athlete playing or swimming in the same arena as the best in

(10:17):
the world? Like, you don't have, you know,
a middle school basketball player on the same court as
Caitlin Clark, right? Like, that just doesn't happen.
And that's one of my favorite things about swimming is it
happens for us. Like, you get to see them in
person. You get to watch their warm up,
you to watch them race, like, everything.
And it's just such a cool, cool thing to be a part of.

(10:38):
So I'm totally with you. I think there's no reason to
specialize for young kids. Like let them play, let them be
kids, let them see what they enjoy.
And I always kind of preface that when I'm talking to
families and to swimmers and, and saying, you know, my story
is a little unique. Like it was, it was unique in
that I from a very young age, wekind of knew that this was going

(11:01):
to be something special and. How old?
I would say. Like give me an example when
everyone was like wow, like thisis we haven't seen anything like
this before that was happening at what age?
Probably around 9:00 and 10:00. And you're doing what?
Like give us a perspective of what you did at 9:00 that caught
the attention and people go, OK,we have something special here.

(11:24):
We need to make sure we nurture this.
Like what were you doing relative to other 9 year olds
that was so different? Yeah, so I would say I'm not
going to know full specifics because honestly, my parents did
such a good job of just kind of like bubbling me and being like,
she loves this, she has fun. Like we just want her to focus
on that. We don't want her to kind of
start hearing all this chatter. But I think that the idea was

(11:46):
that I was going times that weresignificantly faster than the
average 9 and 10 year olds. You know, I was going times that
12 year olds and 13 year olds and 14 year olds were going
several years their their age. And so I think it was around
that time actually, that my parents started to get a ton of
feedback from other people saying that we needed to move

(12:06):
because we lived in Colorado. And so we would have constant
people coming up to my parents saying, you guys need to leave.
Like she needs to go to Texas, She needs to go to California.
Like you need to go to a swimming state and go to a coach
who is seasoned, who knows what he's doing.
Like my coach, this his first day on my club team was my first
day as a starfish, you know, so it was like it was his first

(12:29):
time too. And then lo and behold, there we
are standing at the Olympics, you know, 10 years later
winning, you know, 4 gold medals.
So it was just like, we really stayed true to us and I was so
happy with where I was. And I loved Colorado.
I loved my team, I loved my coach, that we're all just like,
why? Why would we change anything?

(12:50):
And also it's working. So why, you know why?
Why fix something that's not broken?
And I am so glad that we made that decision and stayed in
Colorado. Well, I'm glad you brought it up
because I want to stay about therelationship with your parents
and the job they did right. It's it's the typical prodigy
athlete, prodigy story that we've seen the other side of the

(13:13):
spectrum. We've seen the overbearing
parent who identifies they got apaycheck there, they have
something special. There's a whether it's
intentionally exploitive or it'sjust just they get caught up in
the moment. I don't know if anyone
intentionally tries to do it, although there are some crazy
stories. But like, talk a little bit more
about your parents and your upbringing and how you guys

(13:34):
found the balance between growing up as a young girl in
Colorado and having friends and having sleepovers and playing,
you know, just being a normal kid.
But then also recognizing, like,listen, we can harness a really
unique gift and, and the desire to pursue it.
That there is an opportunity. There is a path that you need
for Missy that is not the same path for everybody else.

(13:54):
We can find. We can pursue that with great
intent without sacrificing the other side.
Like how did they do it? As you look back now as a mom,
like what is your reference of like the job they did protecting
you, keeping you innocent, but also keeping you driven and on
course to achieve what you did? Yeah, well, I'll talk about them

(14:15):
for an hour, So. So just buckle up.
But my parents are my best friends.
I mean, they are the two most incredible people that I know.
And the more I have grown becoming a mom, I just have
become more in awe of what they did because at the time when I
was that young, right, I didn't realize that this was their
first time time too. Like, they always seem so calm

(14:38):
and in control that it was like,oh, they know what they're
doing. And I look back now and I'm
like, they had no idea what theywere doing.
And now being a mom, I'm like, Idon't know what I'm doing.
They didn't know what they were doing.
Of course I don't know what I'm doing.
Like we just don't know. We don't know.
But they never ever made me feellike that.
And I, I think I just, I have somuch respect for them.
But Greg, I think one thing thatwas so important with our family

(15:01):
and and so unique was I was veryintrinsically motivated.
And I think my parents recognizethat and they let that work to
my advantage. So my dad talks a lot about
being an enabler and not a motivator.
So they would never wake me up for a practice because at the
end of the day, yeah, sure, theycould have come in, woken me up,

(15:24):
thrown me in the car, driven me to practice, but I'm the one
getting in the pool like it. It was up to me whether or not I
was going to make that practice worthwhile or a total waste of
time. So why wake me up if that
decision is ultimately mine to begin with anyway?
So I would be the one to wake myself up in the morning.
I would have to set my own alarmand they wouldn't wake me up if

(15:46):
I didn't. But I always.
Did you ever sleep through? Did you ever sleep through a
practice? No, no.
But. On the other side, they had
everything ready for me. So I would wake up in the
morning, My mom would have a breakfast.
It's Colorado. She would have my parka in the
dryer so that it would be warm. My dad would be outside scraping
the snow off the car. So I knew in my mind that

(16:09):
literally all I had to do was show up and they were going to
support me every way they could around me just showing up and
doing my best. And that was really throughout
our entire careers. Like I understood that this was
my dream and my goal and no one else could do that for me.
Like I was the only one that wasin control of that outcome, but

(16:29):
I had so much help and support in making that outcome possible.
Yeah, and that's super powerful and just such a great message.
And again, a great lesson for all of us parents.
Like I've woken my kids up to goto practice, right?
I'm sitting like we've all done it.
Well, maybe not all your parentsdidn't, but we all do it.
And you know, just it's such a really powerful message and

(16:51):
really good perspective that at the end of the day, while we can
be supportive and we can help and we can guide, it is the kids
journey. If it's really what they say
they want to do, their actions will tell us how important it
really is when you talk about your, you know, intrinsic
motivation and the ability to kind of get yourself and how
driven you were. Has it ever been that?

(17:13):
I, I think with that could come sometimes where it becomes
obsessive, right? There's a borderline between
being heavily internally motivated and becoming obsessive
and almost where it becomes a little bit of a hindrance.
Are there any examples in your entire career and journey where
you had to almost kind of control and keep your own inner
drive in check because it was almost being counterproductive?

(17:36):
A. 100% yes. And we talk about this a lot on
on our podcast and we've had several athletes that.
Which I need to come on obviously.
Clearly, but. Really, I was waiting for, I was
waiting for the invite, but maybe you were about to invite
me. Maybe I jumped the gun.
Sorry. It'll be perfect.
Continue, continue. Sorry.
But we talk about the double edged sword of perfectionism,

(17:56):
which is essentially if you're an elite athlete, any sport, it
doesn't matter, you're a perfectionist like you are,
That's just, that's just how it is.
And you are going to overanalyze, you're going to be
your own harshest critic. You are going to review and look
over things 100 times over to see what you could have done
better, what mistakes you made. And that is the part you have to

(18:17):
be careful of because if that becomes all that you're thinking
about. For me, that was when I started
to lose joy in the sport becauseI was so focused on the things I
was doing wrong and the mistakesI was making in ways that I
could have been better that I was starting to miss out on the
part that brought me joy all along.
Which as I mentioned in the beginning, was just the journey,

(18:37):
right? And just the process to get
there. So practices instead of kind of
relaxing, having fun with friends and just doing my best,
I was so over thinking everything that I was doing.
And that was when I just start to feel exhausted, like you're
so emotionally and physically tired from that.
So that was something I definitely had to learn
throughout my career. If I could tell when that that

(18:59):
double edged sword was starting to really impact my overall
health and well-being. And I had to figure out ways to
kind of reel that back in and focus more on my effort and
being proud of the things that Ineeded to be proud of and
acknowledging those things and celebrating the little winds and
finding the joy and all of that as well.
Because we're human and we're going to make mistakes.

(19:22):
And that's kind of the good and bad thing about swimming is in
my mind, there's no such thing as a perfect race.
Like, I think there's always ways that you can be better.
So on one hand, that's infuriating, right?
But on the other hand, how cool is that?
That like, there's always ways that you can be faster and you
can improve and we're seeing that now in the sport, which is

(19:42):
so cool with just how fast it's getting.
Like I would have never in a million years imagined that we
would be swimming times like this in this year.
Like it's just, it's mind blowing what people are are
capable of doing. And so it's just, it's so cool
to see. What's up guys, do you want
custom fan wear like this cricket shirt for Charlotte

(20:03):
Christian School? We've got premium apparel from
your favorite brands. The best part about it is I
don't have to just wear it to Charlotte Christians events.
I can wear it to golf, I can wear it to lunch.
It's turned into my uniform. Go right now over to Youth dot,
Inc Sign up for our newsletter. It talks about our podcast for
that week, our interview guests,all the breaking news across.
Across the landscape of youth sports, and you can win one

(20:24):
piece of merch for your school by going to Sign up today and
remember itsnot.com, it's Youth dot Inc.
Now back to our episode. It's so true and in swimming and
so many other sports that the athletes that are coming into
the world of competitive athletics now are better than
they ever have. And there's a lot of reasons for
that. I want to stay though.
What something that you said that really struck A chord with

(20:46):
me and it goes back to, again, my conversation with your
husband. We really hit it off and he was
awesome, but something that we actually had very different
opinions on. So you just talked about the
idea like celebrate the little wins.
You guys don't compete every weekend.
You guys practice far and away more than you guys compete.
And I was actually blown away atthe when Hayes was letting me

(21:08):
know like the structure of the youth kind of club travel
swimming world where there's only a handful of meats a year
on a 12 month calendar. And you guys are training and
training and training for very little competition, right?
And then and and he's saying we need to do a better job, you
know, at the higher levels, getting kids more competition
for more outcomes. And here I am, I'm on the other

(21:31):
side of this with kids growing up playing travel basketball and
travel baseball, where all they do is play games.
It's all competition. And I'm sitting here saying we
need less tournaments, we need less games, we need more
training, we need more fundamentals.
We need to build that better work habit.
So it was kind of interesting. We were both living it on

(21:51):
opposite sides. I'm saying we need more
training. He's seeing we need less
training and more. Where are you on the whole
stance, like both in swimming and just beyond, like the
relationship between connecting training, It's a competition
where the outcome does matter. Like where are you on that?
Yeah, I mean, it's a very vague answer, but I think finding that

(22:12):
perfect balance is so important.So when it comes to swimming, I
agree with Hayes. I think having more competition
would be wonderful, especially for the younger ages, because
that is such an important time where like we want to show them,
look, you put in the work ethic and you put in the effort and
you get results. Like how cool is that?
How fun is that? And then you want to do it

(22:33):
again. But if you have them training
for three months at a time with no swim meet, it's like they're
going to get bored, right? And then they're going to be
like, why am I doing this now? For other sports, I think that
more practice is so crucial because I think one of the most
important things swimming taughtme, and it's something that I'm
seeing the younger generation struggle with, is delayed

(22:54):
gratification. And just the idea that sometimes
things don't happen overnight and it's not as easy as working
hard for a couple weeks and thengoing and having everything pan
out perfectly. With swimming, once you get to
that elite level, sometimes you're only going a best time
every four years. Like it's, I mean, it is a

(23:16):
serious chunk of time that you are training and you are just
hoping, praying and doing everything you can every day to
just trust the process, knowing that the work and effort you're
putting in is eventually going to pay off.
But I think that skill in every area of your life is so
important, whether it's relationships, whether it's

(23:37):
school, whether it's your faith.Like having this idea that you
just sometimes have to put in the work and trust that it's
going to show up at some point. And it might not be tomorrow and
it might not be the next day, but when it does, it's going to
so worth the time and energy that you put into it.
Is that something that in the world of swimming, the coaches
are equipped to communicate to you guys?

(24:00):
Like, are they continuing to beat it into you guys at
training? Like, hang in there, hang in
there. This is the long term, It's the
long run. We're not trying to just get
ready for Saturday's race. Saturday's race might not be for
seven more Saturdays. Like, is that something that is
being constantly communicated toyoung swimmers to build that

(24:21):
mentality, to get them used to that culture?
I think for the good coaches. The good coaches get that part.
It's not just teaching stroke. It's not teaching breath.
It's the bigger picture and I think something that coaches
will do a lot of the time too islike our Saturdays will often be
or different days depending on the coach.
But we'll have like race sets where we go in and we have our

(24:43):
race warm up, we'll get changed into our racing suit.
We'll have all that. It'll be essentially A mock
competition. But in practice, we're racing
against each other, we're going off the blocks, and we're kind
of having that same feeling of you get the butterflies, you get
nervous, you get the adrenaline.But it's that simulation of
racing without an action actually being a competition.

(25:04):
And coaches will do that periodically throughout the
season just to kind of, I think,give athletes that little nudge
of confidence of like, hey, I know we've been putting in the
work. I know there's been tough
practices, but like, you were onthe right track.
So just keep doing. What you're doing, Yeah, again,
good coaching. It's just.
Makes all the. Difference.
It's good. Coaching is one of those things,
like, it's hard to describe whatit is, but when you see it,

(25:26):
you're like, that's it. That's it.
Yeah. And when you have it, you're
like, I'm going to wrap my arms around it and I'm just going to
keep it for everything I have. So I vividly remember the 2012
London Olympics, and obviously there was a million storylines
between Phelps and Usain Bolt. And.
But your story, like, coming on,maybe not in the swimming world.

(25:47):
You were probably more known, but like on the world stage for
the avid Olympian fans like myself who just tuned in because
I love the Olympics. And also the Summer Olympics was
also always during training camp.
So it was like the end of the day after a long day.
It was like, finally there's something to like watch and just
just chill in our little crappy dorm rooms.

(26:10):
I want to know the process leading up to that, all of the
training, all of the expectations, all of the, you
know, conjecture. Like take me back to 2012, which
was obviously the coming out party of all coming out parties
on the world stage for you. 4 golds, A bronze.
You were the story. Phelps got his love and Usain

(26:32):
Bolt. But like you in a lot of ways,
were the story of that Olympics,your age and what you did like
take us back to that time, thoughts going into it, the
nerves, expectations. Did you know you were going to
win all those races? Like I'm I need to know, like
everything leading up to what weall eventually saw unfold that
summer. Yeah, gosh.

(26:53):
Well, First off, thank you for saying all that.
That's so kind. It it was an unbelievable
experience, like it truly was. If you could ask for a dream
Olympics like that was what London was for me.
And I think going into it, I wascoming off a really good Olympic
trials. I was definitely a little bit
nervous. I qualified in seven events.

(27:14):
So just like the pure amount that I was going to be swimming.
And for those that don't know, for individual events at major
international competition, you swim each event three times.
So it's prelims, semifinals and then finals, except for distance
events, which I don't touch. So we don't have to worry about
that. And then there's the relays.

(27:34):
So I was swimming a significant amount of times in that eight
day period and I think. I How many how many races did
you have? I do know that I only had there
was I think 16 sessions, so prelint like morning session,
final session, 16 sessions and Ionly had two sessions where I

(27:58):
was not swimming over 8 days. I mean, well, to win five
medals, yeah, that's 15 races, yeah, yeah, there.
And then how many total events did you compete in?
18, I want to say 18 races. 18 races, yeah.
Oh my gosh, yeah. So I think that, but that was
also what we had trained for. So like I had the confidence

(28:20):
going in that like, I can handlethis kind of load, but it was
still really intimidating because it was my first
Olympics. I'm swimming 7 events and that
was a lot. But I I went in feeling really
confident, really excited just to go out and do my best.
Like I really wasn't concerned with where I was going to fall

(28:41):
compared to my competitors with what medals I was going to win.
I just felt in my heart that if I went out there and did my
best, that really special thingswere gonna happen.
And so that was what I focused on.
And a lot of the veterans on theteam would sit down with the
rookies and tell us like, yes, it's the Olympics.
It's super exciting, but also like, it's just another swim

(29:03):
meet, so like, yeah. Same pool.
Yeah, like that's the 200 back. It's the same one that you have
swum 1000 times before. There is nothing different about
it. So don't stress yourself out,
don't do anything different. Like what got you here is what's
working. So just stick to your routine,
do what you do best and just go out and have fun.

(29:23):
And that was that was so huge. And I feel like that was why
London was such a success for me.
It's because it was genuinely just me going out there and
having fun. And I, I think that was another
reason why I connected with the people at home so much is
because they could see that. Like they could just see that
this little 17 year old was justout here having the time of her
life at the Olympics. Didn't know what she didn't

(29:45):
know. Ignorance is bliss in a lot of
ways. Exactly.
So you talk about the bulk of the training.
Is there ever a consideration, especially given your age and
that it was your first Olympics,to say, you know what?
I qualified for seven. I'm only going to do 5.
Like was there ever is there? And again, I forgive my
ignorance, like if you qualify, does everyone always compete at

(30:06):
the Olympics in every event theyqualify for?
Or do you sometimes scale it down just for volume?
So the Olympics, first of all, no ignorance there at all.
The Olympics normally, yes, because.
Just compete in everything. And you want to be able to
compete as much as you can, haveas many opportunities to win a
medal, as many opportunities to help your country.
Now, even just going down 1 tierWorld Championships, we see all

(30:29):
the time people will qualify forevents in World Championships
and they'll pull out and they'lleither focus solely on one or
two races or whatever it is. Leon Marshawn.
I don't know if that name is. I know the name, yeah.
So he was like the breakout starin Paris and he swam, I think 4
individual events in Paris. Two I am, four I am 2 breast and

(30:53):
two fly at worlds this summer. They really just wanted to see
what he could do in his IMS. And so he didn't swim the 200
fly and the 200 breaststroke, and he ended up demolishing the
world record in the 200 I am. But again, World Championships
is less about the medals and kind of more about the times and

(31:13):
the record. So I think it's more common for
people to do that. But Olympics, I think it's
fairly rare to have someone qualify in an event and then not
swim it. And this is something I've
always been interested in. And obviously I don't know many
Olympians, so I'm going to take advantage of the opportunity.
How like back home, American fans, we are very aware of the

(31:35):
gold medal count, how we compareagainst China and you know,
yadda, yadda. Like in the Olympic Village,
like did the actual athletes, doyou guys take pride in like we
got the most gold, most overall?Like, do you know, do you care?
Do you like, where do you guys even think about that?
Because at home, like every night before you go to bed,

(31:56):
every person I know checks the medal count.
I think it's really changed overthe last decade.
Like, I don't remember that being as big of a deal in two.
1000 Maybe our egos, our American egos, are a little
bigger now. Maybe 2016 and on was when I
think with social media, with the coverage like it's every
single day, it's like up there you're checking on it.

(32:17):
And then swimming in particular,I think they've really
perpetuated this idea of the Australian and the USA rivalry.
So then that's being thrown at you constantly.
So I would say the athletes now probably have to deal with that
a lot more than I did when I wassomething I didn't think about
that one time. But now I think it would be
really hard for the athletes notto because they're getting asked

(32:39):
in every single press conferenceand every issue, you know, So I
think they're doing a really good job of handling and saying,
listen, like we're out here, we have to focus on our races.
We at the end of the day, we can't control that.
We can control what we do in thewater and that's ultimately
what's going to impact medal count.
So. Before we get back into the
episode, a quick reminder to follow us across all socials.

(33:00):
We're posting daily content centered around youth sports.
All right, let's hop back into it.
And, and, and I think what's so cool about your story?
And obviously you have your own pod and you share and you're and
you're so open about there's so much good, right?
You're golden, the gold medals and the stories.
But I think what's so cool aboutyour story that is such a good
lesson for so many of our listeners is here.

(33:20):
You are the young prodigy. The dream plays out exactly
storybook. You go to you go to London and
you're the star of the Olympics,but not everything in your
career was always perfect, right?
There's injury, there's set back, there's time out of the
water, there's disappointment. Like, and to me, that's the real
like human experience of sport. Like it's easy to everybody to

(33:40):
sit here and say, you know, I consider and say how many touch
size I caught. I remember the balls I dropped a
lot more. I remember going to the Super
Bowl, I only got one time and welost.
So like the scars of that. I'd love to just hear a little
bit about like your mindset. You're so positive.
You're so in love with the grindof it.
But like there were some challenges on the back end of

(34:01):
that where and a lot of it was injury driven, which is an
athlete's journey. Like take us into your mindset
there. Like, how hard was it to keep
your positive mindset that you are always known for, your
personality, your smile? Like, how hard was it to keep
being true to that when things weren't going your way?
You weren't. It wasn't what you had live
experienced your entire life since you were a little girl

(34:22):
through that first Olympics. How challenging were those
times? Yeah.
Gosh, there's so much to unpack there.
I I would say, well, I love talking about it cuz I'm the
same as you. I'm like, this is the part I
love talking about Yeah great. We can talk about the wins and
the medals all day long, but like, let's talk about the hard
stuff because we all go through it and let's help each other
figure out how to get through itand what we.
Learned. So after London, my life

(34:44):
changed, right, And I turned professional two years later
because Naniel was not a thing when I was.
I was because you were at you were at Cal or you were going to
Cal following you were at Cal. Collegiately, so I stayed
amateur so that I could swim in.But that was after you got back
from London, right? Yes, OK, so got.
It so when you went to London where you you were a high school

(35:06):
senior, a junior, you were goinginto your senior year, OK.
My senior year swam two seasons at Cal and then turned
professional and that was about a year and a half out from the
Rio Olympics. So then I got all these major
sponsors. All of a sudden swimming is my
job. And then I'm starting to hear
the media of this idea that OK, not only do I have to do what I

(35:28):
did in London again, I have to be better, right?
So set that bar pretty high for myself first time around.
So now I'm hearing things thrownaround like 5 gold medals, 6
gold medals, you know, can she compete in seven events?
Can she do 8 events? And I really started to feel
that pressure and that intensityand I ended up getting injured

(35:50):
in April, which was just three months before Olympic trials in
2016. And it was so one of the hardest
things I had to go through was that whole experience of I
remember Olympic Trials hunter back was the first event that I
had and I didn't make the team. And I was the reigning Olympic

(36:11):
champion from 2012. And I went back to my hotel room
and I sobbed for like 3 hours. And then I just kind of like had
a moment where I like looked at myself and I was like, you have
two choices here. Like you pack it in now and you
go home and you say, OK, I had agood Olympics, great, I'm done.
Or you fight like hell. And I wanted to fight because it

(36:35):
was finally giving me a chance to be the person I always said I
was going to be when things weren't going my way.
And so by every ounce of grit inmy body and the grace of God, I
managed to make my second Olympic team in three events for
Rio. But then that whole experience
was just completely different. I didn't make a single
individual final while I was there.
I did still get a gold medal because I was part of the four

(36:56):
by 200 freestyle relay, but I remember coming home from that
meat and it it was just so. I'd never felt disappointment
like that in my life. I was so lost because I had
realized for the first time how much my identity had become
wrapped up in my success and in who I was as a swimmer.
I felt like I had just let down so many people.

(37:18):
And I was getting asked time andtime again, interview after
interview, what's wrong with you?
What's going on? Like, where's the real Missy?
And every time, it was just likedaggers going into my heart
because I had put so much work and effort into it.
And for whatever reason, injury,I mean few like it just wasn't
adding up and I just wasn't swimming the way that I knew

(37:40):
that I could. But I did my absolute best in
those moments to be what I call being an inspiration and
disappointment is that it's really easy to be an inspiration
and success when you're winning and things are going.
Your way. But how about I take on that
challenge of being an inspiration and disappointment?
Because we're all going to have disappointments, and I don't
think those are shown a lot. So what if I could be an example

(38:02):
of someone who's going through disappointment, But the way that
I'm showing up, the way that I'mtreating my competitors, the way
that I'm still being there for my teammates, how can I set that
example for young athletes that are still watching?
And I remember flying back home and we were driving into our
neighborhood and we pulled up toour house and all of the kids in
the neighborhood had gotten together and they had cut out

(38:25):
poster board hearts and they hadwritten notes and they had stuck
them all over our lawn. And I still get so emotional
thinking about it because all ofthe notes essentially said,
we're more proud of you now thanwe were four years ago because
of how you handled yourself. And it was just such an eye
opening experience for me that yes, winning gold medals is

(38:47):
really powerful, but being positive, being a good teammate,
being encouraging and still being the best version of myself
that I could be when everything was not going my way actually
had more of a profound impact than breaking a world record.
And and that the story you just told, which again, we appreciate

(39:09):
greatly, like being willing to like share those vulnerabilities
and those scars and whatnot, like that's a more powerful
lesson for our families that follow and listen.
And I'm going to make my children listen.
Like, yes, all of the work that led up to being the 2012 four
gold medals, 5 medal is like, that's a fun story.
That's a great motivating, hey, here's the relationship between

(39:30):
hard work and outcome. Like there's something to learn.
It pales in comparison to that story.
It pales an impact in comparisonto who are you and things are
bad, who are you and things are not going your way, Things both
in and out of your control. Like that's what we really find
out. It's easy to be a great teammate
in high 5 when you're standing on the gold medal podium and

(39:51):
you're hugging the silver medalist saying you did so
great. That's easy.
It's easy to be humble in those moments.
But I just commend you for for sharing it, for being so honest
with us. Because if there's one lesson
from this interview that I could, if I could only pick one
lesson to share and the rest of it we had to delete, that would
be the part that I would share. Because to me, that's going to

(40:12):
make the biggest impact. Me too.
And thank you. And I, I love that about you.
And that's why I was so excited to come on here and talk about
it because I think sharing that stuff and what you guys are
doing is so important because we're going to, we're going to
have disappointments. We're going to have years.
Our kids are going to go. Through I got lots.
Right. And it's.
Just like I got lots. Rather teach my daughters.

(40:33):
I want to teach them how to fail.
I don't want to teach them not to fail because that's not going
to happen. There's not a world where that
happens. So when it does, I don't want it
to affect how they see themselves as a person.
I want them to view it as an opportunity to be a better
person, to gain something from it, to learn something from it
and use it as I think that can be one of your greatest

(40:55):
superpowers. If you can take some of the most
heart wrenching and disappointing moments in your
life and turn them into something that's going to make
you into a better version of yourself.
The last couple things I have for you and I'm going to let you
go. I know you have a napping child
to get back to. How do we not let kids wrap
their identity up in said sport?You mentioned before, you

(41:17):
realize when you came home from Rio how much of your identity
was wrapped up and not only being a swimmer but being the
best swimmer you had, you only knew winning a race.
I can't imagine you lost many races in your life prior to that
Olympics. Maybe never.
Like how do we prevent kids fromwrapping their identity up and
what they're doing and what the sport you play is what you do,

(41:40):
not who you are? Yeah, I would say praise the
effort and not the outcome. Like let's focus more on what
you are doing, the work you are putting in every single day.
Like that is what makes you who you are.
Not whether or not you get firstor second when your hand touches
the wall. It's everything you did to get

(42:00):
to that point that makes you whoyou are.
So as parents, as coaches, as mentors, if we can help our kids
see that, that it's, it's about the effort.
It's about what you've put in every single day, what you
fought for. That is what makes you who you
are. It's not the at the end of the
day. Well said.

(42:21):
Last thing for you, what what isyour relationship now with the
sport of swimming? I know, I know obviously again,
I bring up haze a bunch. She's probably loving all this
attention. But like I know you guys like
what is your relationship with it?
What will you want your daughter's relationships with it
if they so choose? Like where does that stand now
after everything you've been through and everything you've
accomplished? Yeah, well, it's so funny,

(42:42):
right? Because Hayes has done the total
opposite. Like, he finished swimming and
that competitive itch for him just grew.
And he was like, OK, what's next?
Like I wanted. So yeah, he's like Iron Man.
He's doing all these like crazy things.
Professional Iron Man team and now we're going to Worlds next.
I just can't. You're doing it too.
Oh God no, I'm the support. Oh, I make oh.
Got it, got it. That's that's a good job.

(43:04):
But I have had a lot of reassurance from people that
being a spectator, that Iron Man's with two young kids is in
fact harder than the actual IronMan.
I bet I. Bet it all sounds brutal.
Amazing. It all sounds brutal.
But it's so fun. We've loved it.
I was different in that way. My career ended and and I just
was like I again, I just want tofocus on the journey.

(43:27):
I love moving my body every day just because it brings me joy.
And as a mom, that's now like myme time where I have that kind
of quiet space. So I still love getting after it
and pushing myself really hard. But in the water.
Less in the water. I do eat less in the water.
Water for me now is really a space of therapy and like calm

(43:48):
and peace. And honestly, it was really
healing to be able to swim whileI was pregnant and postpartum
with both of my daughters. Cuz it's just like the, it's
such a good exercise for you at any point, but especially if
you're going through something like a pregnancy or an injury
where like you really need something that's more low
impact. It's just so good for your body.
And we have this saying called black line therapy.

(44:10):
I don't know if Hayes talked about that.
That's like the line at the bottom of the pool, right?
The bottom and essentially you, you're swimming like you can't
be on your phone, you can't be watching a show, you can't be
listening to an audio book. Like you are forced to just sit
in your own head with your own thoughts.
And I don't think there's a lot of opportunities that we get

(44:30):
like that in our world today. But swimming is one of those
places where you just have to sit with yourself and it's so
healing to just kind of sometimes it's not comfortable,
sometimes it's comfortable, but to just sit in it and be like,
this is where I'm at. This is how I'm feeling.
These are my thoughts, these aremy emotions and just feel it and

(44:52):
just feel it and swimming at thesame time.
So I'm so thankful. We have a little endless pool in
our backyard, which is amazing. So we have and we're out there
almost every day with our daughter.
So I would say that's the other really cool part of it too, is
now Caitlin just turned 4, and to see her at the point where
she's like starting to learn strokes and she's really getting

(45:12):
into it and like finding her confidence in the water, she has
brought back so much joy for me with this sport because I just
look at her and I see myself. Would you ever coach her one day
if she wanted you to? No.
I had a feeling that was going to be the answer.
No, no, I am so proud to be mom and I will be her number one

(45:34):
support system and cheerleader, but I will leave the coaching
to. What about Dad?
You know, I think Hayes would bea great.
He is a summer club coach here in Nashville.
He. Is so you'd let him coach her I.
Would yeah, he's a fantastic coach and he always he's so self
aware, he's so emotionally mature that I, I don't doubt him
for a second having an issue with being.

(45:55):
We're going to keep an eye on her.
We'll see. I don't know.
I'm just kidding. I'm kidding.
I'm. Kidding.
I don't want her to do volleyball.
I'm trying to get, I have AI have a 12 year old daughter
who's tall and athletic and hasn't played volleyball yet and
she's played basketball and she runs track.
But I think next year in 8th grade at school she's going to
play volleyball for the first time.

(46:16):
So my wife and I are like, I know we're like, oh, like, we're
trying not to, like, overdo it, but we're like, yeah, like, that
sounds like a really good idea. I know I'm taking her to the SEC
tournament at Bridgestone. Oh, fun.
And that's sick. I'm so excited.
It's a great girl. I love volleyball, it's a great
sport there. I love everything about it.
Well. We'll see.

(46:37):
She loves music and dancing, so she could probably be in
theaters. Love it all, brilliant.
Love it all. They're going to be an academic.
She's going to do everything. She'll change the.
World, of course, these young girls, they're just the best.
As my boys say, she's your favorite and I say you're right,
Missy, I can't thank you enough.This was awesome.
Your insight, your experiences, your perspective is just so
valuable to what we're trying todo here at you think, and I just

(46:59):
can't thank you enough. Tell Hayes I said what's up.
And I just again, I can't thank you enough for joining us.
This was awesome. Thank you so much for having me,
Greg. It was so fun.
And we'll see you on Unfiltered water soon.