September 9, 2025 • 37 mins
What’s it really like to be a parent at youth sports events? Big Cat sits down with Greg Olsen to talk about the ups, downs, and lessons that come with raising kids in sports. They cover everything from sideline dynamics to parenting styles, sharing stories that feel all too familiar for anyone who’s been there. A conversation that’s equal parts insightful and entertaining.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
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All right, welcome back to another episode here on you
think. And and today we probably have
one of not only my favorite people on the Internet, favorite
people in media, but just in general for years now, just one
of my favorite people to be around.
(00:20):
You can't help but smile. You can't help but have a good
time. Dan Katz, big cat, however you
know him, Barstool PMT, one of the all time best dudes.
Big cat man. Thanks so much for joining us.
What an intro. How good I just made it up all.
I do is say very a bunch whenever I intro someone.
That was awesome. That made me feel really good.
(00:41):
Thank you. And I, I, I, I feel the same way
about you. So I'm I'm happy.
I before we started this, I was like, I don't even know what
we're talking about, but I just say yes to anything you asked me
to do and I'm ready to go. And I'll tell you when I, when I
pass along your message about a Stella Blue coffee free plug,
free promo. That's what we do here.
So here's what we're talking about.
I came on PMA couple weeks ago to talk TEU and I love coming on
(01:04):
with with with with you guys andjust talking whatever it is.
Any excuse to come on, I'm in. But you asked me a really
interesting question right before we were done and you
said, all right, I just need to ask at what point do I just take
over and get involved with my kids youth sports?
Like I sit there and I watch andI'm losing my mind.
I gave you a quick answer. People loved it.
(01:27):
Like more people were curious. I was like, there's a bigger
conversation. So here we go, big cat.
Like give us a quick snapshot ofwhere you are and then we're
going to dive into a little bit of this youth sports parenting.
What kind of dad are you going to be?
You have son, daughter, that's awhole different animal.
So like give everyone a quick snapshot.
(01:47):
Where are you in the process ages sports and what level of
involvement do you have as of asof now?
OK, so first of all, I, I just want to say and, and if my kids
ever listen to this and can use it as bulletin board material in
20 years from now, none of my kids will be playing sports at a
high level, collegiate or pro. That's just a reality of, of
(02:10):
jeans and just what, what, what we're dealing with.
All right. But I do think as a kid, I
played sports growing up and I think that like playing sports
is very important for teamwork, for competitive, like how to
win, you know, win and lose the right way, for setting yourself
on a goal and, and, you know, being part of a team and doing
something with others and also just having activities.
(02:33):
So right now I have, I have 3 kids.
My oldest son is 6, my middle child, my daughter is 4, and
then my youngest son is 2. Now, I should say my youngest
might, if we're if we're just doing like a a straight draft of
who has the highest potential interms of sports.
(02:53):
My youngest, I showed we were out of Chargers camp last year
and Jim Harbaugh, like we just got talking.
And I've known Coach Harbaugh for a long time.
It's been awesome, like becominglike real friends with him.
And he's asking how the kids were doing.
And I showed him a picture of myyoungest because I hadn't seen
him in a couple years. And my youngest obviously was
born and my youngest was one years old and he looked at him a
(03:15):
picture of him and he goes, he'sgot a great skull for football.
And I was like, dude, he's won. What are you talking about?
So, but that was the most like football guy move by I.
Was going to ask is your kid, ishe going to be a football guy?
That is he going to be, that wasgoing to be my next question
because if he's, if he's in withPaul, if he's in with Harbaugh,
he's got to be a football guy. Yeah, so so so so here's where
(03:36):
I'm at though. So my, my oldest, like I am very
much into, he's got to do something and we, and we're
trying everything. So that's really what it is
right now is trying everything and trying to find something
that he really likes because I don't want to be the, the, the
dad that tries to push them intoOne Direction.
So we do T-ball, we do basketball, we do swimming, we
(03:59):
do Taekwondo. And then for my daughter who
just turned 4, she, she now doesT-ball with him.
Like there's a, there's a, a summer one where it's like just
a practice, you know what I mean?
It's not like teams and stuff. My my son's now doing coach
pitch, but like I wanted my daughter to do that too.
She does swimming. She's going to, you know, if she
wants to do Taekwondo, she'll doTaekwondo.
She said, she said gymnastics. I don't even know if she knows
(04:21):
what that means, but she said it.
So I'm in the phase right now and you can tell me like, you
know, if this is the, the wrong approach, but I'm in the phase
right now of do everything and see which one sticks because I
want them to, just because, because I think the problem is a
lot of times, like on a Saturdaymorning when we have when we
(04:41):
have T-ball, my son wants to hang out.
He just wants to, you know, I mean, it's the weekend, his, his
siblings are hanging out, they're downstairs, they're
doing puzzles, they're building forts.
And I say like, hey, we got to go get our uniform on and go to
T-ball. He doesn't want to go, he wants
to hang out with his siblings. So but I, I keep stressing, like
we, we made a commitment. We have to do this.
And I want you to try as many things.
(05:02):
And if at the end of the season you say you don't want to play
it anymore, OK, we don't have toplay it anymore.
But we're going to try everything and see which sport
or which activity. It doesn't have to be a sport.
It can be an activity which activity you like because it
can't just be school. Yeah, it can't be school and
like, hang out, although that sounds amazing.
I think we all would love that. Yeah, but like, yeah.
(05:25):
So I think you're doing it right.
And again, I by no means have all the answers, so I think
you're doing it right. Expose them to everything, try
everything. They will gravitate towards
something at some point. The question you're going to
have to ask yourself is how longare you going to give and lead
time? Because the, the notion that
like your kids going to run intoyour room and he's going to have
(05:46):
his bat in his hand and his ballin his hand at six years old and
be like, daddy, I need to get tothe, I feel like that's like in
the movies. I, I don't, I don't know, maybe
that's someone else's kids, maybe not ours, but like, I feel
like that's a little, that's everyone's story when their kid
gets drafted. It's like, since he was six
years old, he begged me to be onthe field.
And it's like, no, he didn't, hedidn't.
(06:07):
Like at some point you made him go and you made him want to do
it. So I think there is the notion
of like all parents say, I'm notgoing to make my kid and you
can't. But when they're 6, you kind of
have to make them. You put them in the car, you're
driving them there, you're signing them up.
No kid is like registering. So there is this like weird
balance between the earlier you are, the more parent has to kind
(06:29):
of encourage and push and expose.
When they're 16, you still can'tbe driving them, dragging them
out of the house. So I think you're doing that
part right. Don't sleep on your daughter.
Girls are a little later into like my daughter never wanted
anything to do with her two brothers playing growing up.
If they were doing basketball, she was inside.
If they were, she wanted nothingto do with it.
(06:51):
And then like 4th or 5th grade, the flip switch, just the switch
flipped. And like I left to come do this
with you and she was out with myniece in the driveway doing like
a private basketball training, sweating in 100° now in 7th
grade. So like it flips.
So don't sleep on your daughter now.
Yeah, definitely, definitely theother, the other thing.
I, I, I, I, I'm wondering from you, and I don't know you, you
(07:14):
might have struggled. It might be different because
obviously like there might be a little more pressure on your
kids just because you played in the NFL.
But the there is and I, I think I've done a good job of it.
I think parenting is really hardon its own and it gets really
hard when you start comparing yourself to other parents.
And that's the really difficult part of like having to be like,
Hey, my kid is my kid. They're going to do things at
(07:36):
their speed and they're going todo things that they want to do.
And you can't compare to other. Like some of my friends would be
like, Oh yeah, my kid it, you know, 4 wanted to play, had a
bat in his hand. Like you said, like being like,
I want to go play and I and, andlike, it's, it's just human
nature to then compare your, your child.
But you have to stop yourself and be like, no, that's not my
(07:59):
kid is going to be his own person and he's going to do
things at his speed and just finding that balance because
you're right. Like right now I do have to to
somewhat force him to do things.And the, and the, the craziest
thing is that, you know, this, like my, my son will not want to
go to Taekwondo. And then we'll go and he'll have
the best time, of course. And, and at the end he'll be
(08:20):
like, that was awesome. Like I broke a board, I got a
new belt, all that stuff. Like he was so happy when he
got, when he went up a level in the belt.
And I was just like, yeah, see, this is, I wish I could bottle
this up and remind you every time we're in the car after
school and being like, you want to go to Taekwondo and you're
like, no, I don't want to go. It's like, remember that moment.
But it's hard because he's 6. You know, it's hard for six year
(08:41):
olds to, to, to, to understand that and in like future plans.
So like the comparison thing is really, really difficult.
And I'm sure it gets even more difficult as you get as your
kids get older and every, you know, it gets a little more
competitive and trying to tryingto navigate that where you don't
want to be the overbearing dad who's not only pushing him too
(09:02):
hard, but also bragging too muchabout like what your kid is
doing to a point where you're you now become the person you
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Now back to our episode with BigCat and I.
(09:44):
And I think you bring up a really good point because there
is an element that again, we're,we're all bias, right?
We we all parent our kids to similar to our upbringing and
similar to our experiences and the things that we love.
We want our kids to love. We want to share the we want to
go to the Cubs game and have your kid be a die hard Cubs fan
and sit in Wrigley and tell you the batting lineup and like
(10:05):
every dad dreams of that with their kid, that you know, your
kid loves football because that's what we love.
That's what we grew up loving. We grew up watching it.
And everyone wants to share those experiences with their
kids. So there is that element where
you have to you. I don't know how to teach my kid
to go fishing. I don't know how to teach my kid
to join the band, the orchestra.If they were interested in it, I
(10:28):
would love it. I'd be in the front row at the
recital and I'd be all in if they were all in.
But I only know what I know and I only know what I enjoy doing.
So I guess we all are, selfishlyor biasly, whatever you want to
say, kind of push our kids to try to enjoy things that we
enjoy because there is an element to how cool would it be?
(10:48):
Yeah, I love going to Cubs games, but how cool would it be
if, like, me and my kid grew up going there and he was also a
die hard fan? Like right or wrong, that's in
all of our brains, like, and I don't know how we fight that.
It's, it's really hard. I my kids have been, I have
season tickets to the Cubs. My kids have been to like 10
games this year and I think my daughter has watched like 2
(11:10):
pitches. You know, she goes because we
can get a hot dog and a pretzel and, but I, I like going and I,
I think they understand that I like going, but like there's
times where I'm like, you guys don't even understand how, how
nice this is. You've been to 10 games this
year. You know, we're halfway through
the summer. You've been to 10 games like so,
but they're, they're still so young.
And then the other thing I struggle with, and this is where
(11:32):
it started on PMT is like, I do want to coach them.
I want to be involved in that way, but I also don't want to do
it too early where I think it's hard for kids where like if your
dad is coaching you when you're 6, when you're 7, you start
thinking about your, you know, it's just a different
(11:53):
relationship. So it's like, when do I enter
that? Like I would love to, you know,
coach, you know, my son playing basketball, but I also don't
want to be at a, he's at a, he'sat an age right now where if I'm
at the practice, like it's goingto be me like telling him to pay
attention. And I don't want to do that, you
know what I mean? Because that's, that's kind of,
(12:13):
I have to do that at home. And I don't want to have to do
that when we're, when we're out,you know, doing something that's
supposed to be fun with all his friends.
So trying to find that balance of when I get involved and how
much I get involved. And maybe it's, I don't get
involved at all, but it's, it's,it's, it's, it's very difficult
because I, I do want them to like the things I like.
(12:33):
And you're exactly right. Like you in a dream world, it's
like they become a mini me. But that's not going to be
reality. You know, they have to like
their own things. Of course, and they should and
it should be encouraged as hard as sometimes, as hard as that
is, as a parent, as a dad, they should.
But I want to stay with that. All right, so take us inside.
What about coaching them in yourmind?
(12:56):
Sounds intriguing. Is it because you sit at the
practices and you're like, this is what I would do if I was
coaching? I wish they did more of this or
whatever. Or is it I just want to spend
more time with my kid. I want to bond over basketball.
Like what is the what is the allure of, of the idea of saying
I would like to, I don't know ifI will, but I would like to
(13:16):
coach my kids at some point. Like what aspect of the of it do
you think most appeals to you? I think it's just simply being
like as present as possible and,and not being just like, Oh
yeah, I'm going to go to your game and I'm going to sit and,
you know, on the sideline and watch you play.
Like I want to, I want them to feel like I'm really invested in
(13:37):
them because it's very importantto me.
And, and so that's really what the allure is like.
I want, I want them to be able to feel like, Hey, I, I am
taking a more than just the casual interest in what they're
liking and what they're doing after school.
I want to be there. I want to feel like I'm, I'm
participating with them because I think that's a really great
(14:00):
experience And I, and I want to do it for all my kids.
But I also, again, it's really hard because like, he played
basketball this year. He's, he's, he was 5 when he's
playing basketball, he couldn't reach the rim.
Like he was having fun. He was running up and down the
court like, so I don't really know what I could do to coach
him to reach the you know, we, we have a hoop in the backyard.
We've been practicing. He's, you know, we, I lowered it
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so that he can actually start making baskets because I think
that's obviously important. If you can't make a basket, it's
probably the worst experience ofall time.
But now he's making baskets and we go out in the back and he's
like, I want to make 40 today. It's like, all right, let's sit
here and make 40. So he he has shown some interest
in it, but I, yeah, it, it's more just wanting to feel like
there's something that they likethat I am taking an extra
(14:45):
interest in. And I'm not just the passive dad
who's like, all right, I'm goingto drive you to the game.
I'm going to tell you a good game after.
I want you to feel like I'm there really supporting you.
But it is that hard balance of Idon't want to be overbearing and
I don't want to push you too hard.
And I want you to have to feel the pressure of, oh, my dad's
coaching or my dad's assistant coaching.
(15:06):
And then you throw in the part where, and this is maybe not as
relatable, but you, it's relatable to the two of us.
Like, I know that my kids are going to have a little bit of a
different upbringing because I'ma public figure.
So trying to make sure that theyhave the most normal childhood
they can possibly have given thecircumstances that when we walk
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down the street, people will saywhat's up to me.
And it's kind of a weird experience for them.
So trying to find that too, where it's like I, I know that
they're not going to it. It's just, it's just the, the
really what it is. I, I think they're going to have
a great childhood. I think I'm going to be able to
give them things that a lot of people probably can't.
And I understand, I'm very thankful for that.
But I also understand that therewill be a day when, when, when
(15:51):
they're in school, when they're,you know, 910, eleven years old
and they pull up a video of me pissing my pants and they're
like, this is your dad. And that's not a normal thing
for most kids. So trying to compartmentalize
that in my brain and realize that that day will come and
trying to make it as normal as possible for them.
Yeah. And and so what's so cool like
(16:12):
as I sit here now with three middle school kids and you sit
here very early on, like your 6 year olds, like really just
starting this path in the four and two year old, they're just
they, they haven't even gotten there yet.
But like, I remember being in your shoes and everything I
imagined and I was like, all right, I know this world.
I know sports. I grew up in it.
I played it. Everything I imagined it being.
(16:35):
I was probably like 75% wrong, like what I thought it was going
to be. I was like, that's not when I
sit here now. Looking back to when they were
six and four, like you are, whatI thought I knew then and what
I've experienced between then and now have been very
different. So all I would say to you is
like what you have it pictured in your brain of how these
(16:56):
elementary to middle school years are going to progress, no
one has any idea. Yeah, isn't that the best?
Part I sure as hell don't. Isn't that the best part of
being a dad too? Because like it and being a
parent, it's when whenever a friend of mine has a kid or is
expecting a kid and they'll ask for advice, My advice is always
the same. It's simply don't listen to
(17:18):
anyone's advice because the bestpart of it is figuring it out
yourself. And there's no, there's no book.
You can read a book if you want,you can, you can listen to
everyone, but everything is different.
And the trial and error is the best part.
Like that is the fun of it, of being a parent is like trying to
figure it out yourself and, and,and having these moments where,
(17:39):
yeah, you feel like you're underwater and then getting back
your head above water and being like, all right, I think we got
to figure it out. And then going back underwater
and just the, the trial and error is the beauty of being a
parent. But you're right.
Like I, I, I have an envision inmy head and it's probably going
to be very different, but I just, I really am like it.
It's it's hard to and again, I feel bad because this is
(18:02):
probably not the most relatable part of the conversation we're
going to have. But like, how do you make it so
that your kids have a, as normalas a upbringing as possible,
given the circumstances of like who I am and, and, and the, the
things that they're going to be like they're going to, there
will be a moment where they realize, oh, we have things, we
(18:23):
have toys, we have vacations that not everyone has, you know
what I mean? So, and, and, and trying to
navigate that in, in the best way possible.
So that I, I raise kids that become good, caring people that
are, that are nice to others and, and, and accept that they
have some really cool opportunities, but that it's not
(18:45):
everyone has that. And how lucky they are.
Like we went to the first Cubs game I ever went to with my son
two years ago. I think he had, I think he got 3
balls within the first like inning and a half.
Like we saw Tom Ricketts walkingin, he gave him a ball.
We saw David Ross in the dugout,he gave him a ball.
And then like I think there was one other player who gave him
balls. Like I was like, dude, you have
(19:07):
3 baseballs from a Major League Baseball game an inning and 1/2
in. This is not normal.
This is not normal. This is not what like the what
what happens? You have to realize how lucky
are we went to I took him to hisfirst Blackhawks game and it was
Chris Chelios night and I knew know some of the guys from the
cup teams. So I went to say hello to him.
(19:27):
My son got a picture with Wayne Gretzky.
I was like, dude, you don't knowwhat like this is not and and,
and and the car ride home after I was like, that was the best
hockey player of all time. And he was like, well, how many
goals did you score in the NHL? And I was like, I scored zero.
He's like, why didn't you score any?
I was like, well, that's a different story.
Like, but it's so just trying tofigure it out.
(19:47):
I know how lucky I am and I knowhow lucky they're going to be,
but just trying to be like this is you have to still have your
feet grounded and, and understand like being a good
person is the most important part.
And if you have these lucky experiences?
Embracing them, but knowing thatthey're not everyone's.
No doubt. And I'll take it one step
further and I can almost this, Ican almost guarantee they're at
(20:11):
some point down the road. There is a guy in Chicago that
wants nothing more than to sit at the bar with his buddies and
tell you that, hey, last Saturday, Big cat's kid, my son
struck him out. Hey, last Tuesday night at the
basketball game, my kid, you know, took big cat's kid and
dunked. Like don't think that's not part
(20:32):
of the reality of their upbringing to my my kids go
through it here again, living here in Carolina, living here in
Charlotte, like night. Most people are really cool and
nice. But like, I know damn well
there's dads in the in the stands that when my kids up to
bat, they want him to strike out, right.
They want like and that's just the reality because then they're
going to tell their buddy. So in Chicago, that dude at the
(20:54):
bar who's given war stories about his day back in, you know,
I won States and I part of that war story one day is going to be
he hopes his kid faces yours anddunks on him, scores on him,
strikes him out, take some yard,whatever.
It is like that's another element of all of this that is
in your future if your kids playsports.
That's true. It's true.
(21:15):
And I yeah, that's, that's, but you're right, most people are
very, very cool. But yeah, that's and it's just
trying to make sure that they'renot shielded, but like they have
to be shielded a little bit because this is I, I never
understood the phenomenon of like putting your kids like
aggressively online when they'revery young.
(21:36):
I think that's, I think that's crazy to me because it's like, I
just always think about like oneday they'll be in high school
and, and someone will pull up a video of them like crying or
saying something stupid and likethat's kids are mean.
You know what I mean? Like kids are mean.
Like in that age guy on them. Quick, right, right.
So I I've done a good job of that, but it's just yeah, just
(21:58):
try to try to find, navigate that whole thing.
When did you start coaching yourkids?
Young, young and I, I mean, theywere God.
I probably my oldest son, he started doing, you know, the
T-ball machine, pitch, coach, pitch, whole world probably like
6. So I, that was probably my first
experience coaching them. We did flag football probably
(22:22):
give or take in that 789 range. So then I had both boys doing,
doing T-ball baseball. So I, I, I was probably their
rec baseball coach when they were six and five, seven and
five, something like that. And they've done that all the
way through. And then as all of the, as all
(22:42):
three of them got into coaching,as all three of them got into
sports. Now I'm like one season of
sports when the fall I do football, which my oldest son
had played. Now my younger son's going to
play for the first time. So I'll have both them in the
winter. I've done my, my daughter's
basketball team at school. And then in the spring I coach
my younger son's baseball. So I give them each a season and
(23:03):
listen, I enjoy it. I love it.
I probably care too much and I spend probably too much time and
energy doing it. And there's times where I go
home and I'm like, this isn't worth it.
Like this is so much aggravationand this is so much stress in my
life. Why am I doing this over middle
school sports? And then the next day comes and
we got practice and you're out on the field and you're pouring
(23:26):
into these kids and your own kidand you're like, this is
awesome, you know? So like, it's a up and down.
It's a roller coaster of emotions and stress and bullshit
from parents and other teams andother coaches.
And that all comes with it. But at the end of the day, what
I try to anchor myself in is I love pouring into these kids,
(23:47):
boys, girls, the ages sport and I'm not the greatest baseball
guy. I'm not the greatest basketball
guy. Like I believe at the and this
is one thing I will tell you my my biggest advice to to people
that you don't want to get involved coaching their kids.
Everyone is so concerned with how much you know about the
sport. Well, did you play baseball?
Did you play basketball? Did you play football?
(24:08):
Some of the best youth football coaches never played it down a
football past high school. Some of the best youth baseball
coaches have never played an inning of baseball past high
school. And maybe not even that.
Like how much you know about thesport at the young age means
very little and out. So I would say as your kids get
older and you're and if they do show into sports and they get
(24:28):
into it and you're trying to pick teams, which is a whole
nother can of worms. Don't spend as much time
worrying about the former MLB guy, the former NFL guy, the
former NBA guy, or you know, whatever.
Like find someone who can communicate, find someone who's
organized, find someone who really wants to pour the energy
in the structure because at the young age, that's really the
(24:51):
biggest impact that you're making.
Anybody could teach a kid how toshoot a layup.
Anybody can teach a kid. But like, can you give structure
and organization? That's the part that I love.
That's the part that I look around to other coaches and I'm
like, these guys have no idea what they're doing and they
might know more about the sport than me.
I just think at the young age what you know about the sport is
(25:13):
almost the least important. Yeah, and, and, and it's
interesting because I, I do think sports, youth sports are
in a weird spot, like whether you're talking about AAU or all
these travel baseball teams. Because I, I do think it's
gotten like too serious too early.
And, and, and a lot of, a lot ofpeople put a lot of pressure on
(25:33):
these kids and, and, and sports or team sports are not vilified,
but it's like this weird. You know, you see some of these
travel baseball teams and like the kids wearing all the gear
and stuff when they're seven years old.
And it's like, I don't that thatseems like a lot, but I do I
like, I started this whole, you know, our conversation.
I do think kids being part of a team is very important,
(25:55):
especially at a young age. And if they're not, you know, if
they don't play past the age of 10, who cares?
But like just that experience ofhere's how we win, here's how we
lose, here's the commitment we make to the team.
We don't quit on a team. Those are life lessons that I
think all kids should, should experience at some point.
Because later on in life you're,you're, you know, 99.99999% of
(26:19):
them are not going to go to college and play sports or pro
and play sports. But they are going to be in a
setting at some point in their life where teamwork and being
and not quitting on a team and contributing to a team matters.
And those are things that you can take away from sports.
Whatever, say, if the idea of youth sports is to make
professional athletes, we shouldjust disband the entire process,
(26:40):
right? But it.
Feels like that sometimes now, right?
Like it does feel like there's some crazy parents out there
that are that, that think every kid is going to go pro.
And it's like, I don't think, I think maybe we just need to do a
better job of educating like parents of of just how
statistically improbable. It is, you know, but it's only
how insane it is. But it's only statistically
(27:01):
improbable for your kid. Not my kid.
Yeah, true. That's that's like a 50. 50
chance. I don't mean literally mine, but
you specifically. No, no, I didn't.
I didn't mean mine. I mean like hypothetical.
That's the mindset of so many families.
It's like, yeah, I know all the stats, but they're not talking
to me. Yeah.
So like that, that mentality, I don't know how you combat that.
(27:23):
Like I have 0 expectation that any of my kids are ever going to
make a living playing sports. Ever.
I want my kids. I've been on record from the
beginning. The reason I pour and spend all
this time and all this energy. Now, if they told me tomorrow
like I'm over it, I don't want to keep doing it, fine, I'd
have, I'd be able to go on summer vacation.
(27:43):
But the my entire reason for pouring into all these kids,
mine and everyone else's, is my greatest hope is that they all
find an opportunity to have a great high school sports
experience. When I think back on my entire
sports journey, I played in Super Bowls, Pro Bowls, some of
the biggest college football games, Name it.
(28:04):
The best moments that I had werewith your buddies in high
school. For me, it was Friday nights,
whatever the sport is, playing school ball with your buddies in
your hometown, that was the biggest thing in the world at
the time. Whether you went on to play
college pro for everybody on that field, whether it was your
final football game or you went on to play longer, that was the
(28:26):
biggest thing in the moment. I want my kids to experience
that. I just want them to be part of a
varsity high school experience and maybe they play a little
bit. They play a lot, They're good.
They're what, I don't know, whatever that looks like.
I just don't think there's anything better than that.
I think it's fun and cool, and whatever happens after that is
(28:46):
irrelevant to me. And also your kids probably will
GoPro. No, not not that's we're
pressure on them, but they at least have the genes.
Before we get back into the episode, a quick reminder to
follow us across all socials. We're posting daily content
centered around youth sports. All right, let's hop back into
(29:07):
it. All right, so like we've all
seen the parents in the wild, right?
We've seen the videos. We've seen Jalen that famous
Jalen Brunson video, which I happen to actually love of like
his dad just wearing his ass outon the like local neighborhood
court while mom videos. And he's like, I'm gonna kick
this the ball over the fence. If you jog again, I'm sitting
there and I'm like, I like this guy.
Like, this is that kind of guy. And everyone's like, oh, it's
(29:28):
too hard, It's too much. And then I'm like, did you watch
the Knicks this year? Do you think that shit just
happened? You think this guy was just
telling him everything you do isamazing and he grew up to be a
dog. Like, he grew up to go out there
and try to kill you every game. Like, you can create that.
Now, that's not for everyone. That's not for every kid.
But like we all see these examples.
Give me your like, I refuse to be this sports parent, whether
(29:52):
it's this year or in five years.Like what kind of sport parent
are you going to be when it's not 6 year old T-ball like your
kids in a really competitive basketball game in 8th grade?
Like I'm talking like he's old enough to compete.
Are you in the corner quiet? Are you yelling at the refs?
Are you telling your wife to sitdown?
Like what? What are you doing?
(30:13):
I, I, I think it's really just the, the, the parents that are
like screaming at UMPS screamingat refs that always just makes
my skin crawl. I'm like, come on, guys like
this. Can't you?
Because, because you also like, we know like the, the refs and
UMPS in, in these, in these youth sports, they're getting
paid nothing. They're getting paid like $10.00
(30:35):
an hour. There are a lot of times kids
themselves and I, I just hate those videos.
So I, I think I'll do a good jobof, of, of not being that guy
because I think that guy does suck.
Where it's like, you know, low state follow up sports.
Yeah. Follow up in a couple years.
Yeah, I listen. I, I think I can hold myself,
(30:56):
you know? Will I fire off a tweet?
Maybe. Maybe, but I'm not going to be
saying anything in the moment. Can you please we need to start
like an account of like everything I wish I could say at
my kids games out loud, but likewe just start like a like a
burner account. Yeah, that's listen, you should
do that. I I I found the hack is you just
if if when you see me tweet, they're just kids.
(31:17):
That's me just trying like I do it with college sports.
I'm I'm I'm blaming the kids, but I'm saying they're just
kids. So that's a that's a nice out
where I'm just like, hey, listen, I can't believe this
shit had just dribbled the ball off his his foot in a big game.
But they're just kids. They're just.
Kids and I only had a couple dollars on the parlay.
On the yeah. Good news is the good news is
(31:40):
when you're watching your kids play youth sports, well,
hopefully you have no action on the line right.
So maybe it's going to be a little bit different than when
you're watching Wisconsin and they blow a fourth quarter lead
because you may or may not have bet the money line.
So that's that's a positive. You're Maybe that's why you're
so relaxed at your kids games, because it's the only sporting
event you ever watch that the outcome really doesn't matter.
(32:04):
Yeah, that's true. That's true.
Although I need to maybe not beton games while I'm also watching
their game. Like, you know, my, my son's
basketball was like practice wasFriday nights and and I would I
would usually like it was like 6:00 on a Friday night.
I'd be like, all right, what, what do we got in the Ivy League
hoops, like, you know, and I'd be sitting there.
(32:26):
All right, let's throw in a couple bets while we sit here
and watch a bunch of kindergarteners not be able to
reach the rim. So maybe they'll do that, too.
Yale's point guard goes from sixfrom three and you and you got
the over. And then all of a sudden you're
you're just screaming at your kid, taking it out on it's.
Yes, yes, exactly that. That could potentially happen.
That could potentially happen. I think there's a high
(32:48):
likelihood it does happen and I'm here for it.
All it has happened. And when it does, just call me
and we can talk about it becausechances are whatever you,
whatever guilt you bring home with you one night, there's 100%
chance at some point I carried probably even more guilt over.
So you can call me and we can talk through it because I have a
lot of, I have a lot of experience.
(33:10):
I actually think that's a great way to end too, because I think
parenting just in general, not even talking about sports, like
I said, going back to the competitive nature of it,
there's no one out there who's like got it figured out
perfectly. And I think the pressure of, oh,
they've got it figured out. Like it's always nice when I'll
(33:30):
see other parents struggling in the wild and I'm like, yeah,
that's, that's, that's what it is.
Like that we're all dealing withthis, you know, like we're at a
restaurant and one of them's notlike, is going crazy.
It's like we got to, we got to order our food in in 5 minutes
and eat it in two and get the hell out of there.
Like seeing it, it reminds you that there is no perfect child.
(33:51):
There's no kid that's just, you know, sitting around and, and
has unbelievable manners at fiveyears old.
But there's those moments where you think that your kid is the
only kid who is doing this. And just to mind yourself to not
be hard on yourself and not be competitive with yourself and
other kids because every single parent is dealing with the same
thing. And we have, we have a really
(34:14):
bad thing that happens in society where we pretend that
everything is perfect when it's like, sometimes you just got to
talk about like, hey, this is not the yeah, this is a
struggle. This isn't easy.
Like bedtime isn't easy. It's a war every night in my
house. Guess what?
It's probably a war in everyone's house every night.
So we, we, we can't pretend thatit's something different and put
that pressure on ourselves. No doubt, Well that is how we're
(34:36):
going to wrap because dad to dad, friend to friend, just
sometimes it's cool to just talkand chat and just say Oh my God
we are all sharing the same struggle and we are all in the
same battle and I don't have theanswers.
I'm 10 years down the road from where you are and maybe in 10
years I'll have better advice for you other than just do the
best you can. But dude, I appreciate you
(34:58):
coming on it. It's just cool to get different
people's perspectives on their own parenting styles, their own
kids a lot. Some of it's similar, some of
it's very different. And just as a friend, dude, as a
dad, just appreciate you coming on and shooting the shit for a
little bit. And talk in this crazy world of
parenting and youth sports and all the good and bad that comes
with it. So appreciate you man, for
(35:19):
joining us. Love it of course, and, and and
when I, when we get further downthe line, I'm happy to come back
on and give you a new set of problems that I have.
I just can't wait till you come on in like 5 years and your kids
playing like competitive AAU basketball, your daughter's in
gymnastics, your younger ones just like the gym rat son, the
little brother who's just brought to every gym and you
don't even know where he is during the game and big cat is
(35:41):
on the end of the bench and he'ssweating.
He's got a clipboard and everything you just said has
been complete. I can't wait for that day.
Well, listen, listen, I, I'll behonest, the, the baseline that
all, I, all I need my kids to beable to do is have a jump shot
because they, my, my, my office has a full court gym.
So if they don't have a jump shot, that's one thing where
(36:03):
I'll be like, I failed because someday they'll try to take a
jump shot. And people are like, dude,
didn't you like grow up with access to a full court
basketball gym? Can't have that.
That's the only that's all we'relooking for.
That's a reflection on you. That's because that's a
reflection on just you as a father.
Like that's a tough one. That's a tough one to go to bed
with that night. Yeah, so get a jump shot.
Get a jump shot. All right, that's fair.
(36:26):
All right, buddy. I appreciate you man.
Of course. Man, that was fun.
What's up guys? Do you want custom fan wear like
this cricket shirt for CharlotteChristian School?
We've got premium apparel from your favorite brands.
The best part about it is I don't have to just wear it to
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(36:48):
It talks about our podcast for that week.
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Make sure you subscribe to both our YouTube channel and our RSS
feed for all future conversations here at you think.
All right, welcome back to another episode here on you
think. And and today we probably have
one of not only my favorite people on the Internet, favorite
people in media, but just in general for years now, just one
of my favorite people to be around.
(00:20):
You can't help but smile. You can't help but have a good
time. Dan Katz, big cat, however you
know him, Barstool PMT, one of the all time best dudes.
Big cat man. Thanks so much for joining us.
What an intro. How good I just made it up all.
I do is say very a bunch whenever I intro someone.
That was awesome. That made me feel really good.
(00:41):
Thank you. And I, I, I, I feel the same way
about you. So I'm I'm happy.
I before we started this, I was like, I don't even know what
we're talking about, but I just say yes to anything you asked me
to do and I'm ready to go. And I'll tell you when I, when I
pass along your message about a Stella Blue coffee free plug,
free promo. That's what we do here.
So here's what we're talking about.
I came on PMA couple weeks ago to talk TEU and I love coming on
(01:04):
with with with with you guys andjust talking whatever it is.
Any excuse to come on, I'm in. But you asked me a really
interesting question right before we were done and you
said, all right, I just need to ask at what point do I just take
over and get involved with my kids youth sports?
Like I sit there and I watch andI'm losing my mind.
I gave you a quick answer. People loved it.
(01:27):
Like more people were curious. I was like, there's a bigger
conversation. So here we go, big cat.
Like give us a quick snapshot ofwhere you are and then we're
going to dive into a little bit of this youth sports parenting.
What kind of dad are you going to be?
You have son, daughter, that's awhole different animal.
So like give everyone a quick snapshot.
(01:47):
Where are you in the process ages sports and what level of
involvement do you have as of asof now?
OK, so first of all, I, I just want to say and, and if my kids
ever listen to this and can use it as bulletin board material in
20 years from now, none of my kids will be playing sports at a
high level, collegiate or pro. That's just a reality of, of
(02:10):
jeans and just what, what, what we're dealing with.
All right. But I do think as a kid, I
played sports growing up and I think that like playing sports
is very important for teamwork, for competitive, like how to
win, you know, win and lose the right way, for setting yourself
on a goal and, and, you know, being part of a team and doing
something with others and also just having activities.
(02:33):
So right now I have, I have 3 kids.
My oldest son is 6, my middle child, my daughter is 4, and
then my youngest son is 2. Now, I should say my youngest
might, if we're if we're just doing like a a straight draft of
who has the highest potential interms of sports.
(02:53):
My youngest, I showed we were out of Chargers camp last year
and Jim Harbaugh, like we just got talking.
And I've known Coach Harbaugh for a long time.
It's been awesome, like becominglike real friends with him.
And he's asking how the kids were doing.
And I showed him a picture of myyoungest because I hadn't seen
him in a couple years. And my youngest obviously was
born and my youngest was one years old and he looked at him a
(03:15):
picture of him and he goes, he'sgot a great skull for football.
And I was like, dude, he's won. What are you talking about?
So, but that was the most like football guy move by I.
Was going to ask is your kid, ishe going to be a football guy?
That is he going to be, that wasgoing to be my next question
because if he's, if he's in withPaul, if he's in with Harbaugh,
he's got to be a football guy. Yeah, so so so so here's where
(03:36):
I'm at though. So my, my oldest, like I am very
much into, he's got to do something and we, and we're
trying everything. So that's really what it is
right now is trying everything and trying to find something
that he really likes because I don't want to be the, the, the
dad that tries to push them intoOne Direction.
So we do T-ball, we do basketball, we do swimming, we
(03:59):
do Taekwondo. And then for my daughter who
just turned 4, she, she now doesT-ball with him.
Like there's a, there's a, a summer one where it's like just
a practice, you know what I mean?
It's not like teams and stuff. My my son's now doing coach
pitch, but like I wanted my daughter to do that too.
She does swimming. She's going to, you know, if she
wants to do Taekwondo, she'll doTaekwondo.
She said, she said gymnastics. I don't even know if she knows
(04:21):
what that means, but she said it.
So I'm in the phase right now and you can tell me like, you
know, if this is the, the wrong approach, but I'm in the phase
right now of do everything and see which one sticks because I
want them to, just because, because I think the problem is a
lot of times, like on a Saturdaymorning when we have when we
(04:41):
have T-ball, my son wants to hang out.
He just wants to, you know, I mean, it's the weekend, his, his
siblings are hanging out, they're downstairs, they're
doing puzzles, they're building forts.
And I say like, hey, we got to go get our uniform on and go to
T-ball. He doesn't want to go, he wants
to hang out with his siblings. So but I, I keep stressing, like
we, we made a commitment. We have to do this.
And I want you to try as many things.
(05:02):
And if at the end of the season you say you don't want to play
it anymore, OK, we don't have toplay it anymore.
But we're going to try everything and see which sport
or which activity. It doesn't have to be a sport.
It can be an activity which activity you like because it
can't just be school. Yeah, it can't be school and
like, hang out, although that sounds amazing.
I think we all would love that. Yeah, but like, yeah.
(05:25):
So I think you're doing it right.
And again, I by no means have all the answers, so I think
you're doing it right. Expose them to everything, try
everything. They will gravitate towards
something at some point. The question you're going to
have to ask yourself is how longare you going to give and lead
time? Because the, the notion that
like your kids going to run intoyour room and he's going to have
(05:46):
his bat in his hand and his ballin his hand at six years old and
be like, daddy, I need to get tothe, I feel like that's like in
the movies. I, I don't, I don't know, maybe
that's someone else's kids, maybe not ours, but like, I feel
like that's a little, that's everyone's story when their kid
gets drafted. It's like, since he was six
years old, he begged me to be onthe field.
And it's like, no, he didn't, hedidn't.
(06:07):
Like at some point you made him go and you made him want to do
it. So I think there is the notion
of like all parents say, I'm notgoing to make my kid and you
can't. But when they're 6, you kind of
have to make them. You put them in the car, you're
driving them there, you're signing them up.
No kid is like registering. So there is this like weird
balance between the earlier you are, the more parent has to kind
(06:29):
of encourage and push and expose.
When they're 16, you still can'tbe driving them, dragging them
out of the house. So I think you're doing that
part right. Don't sleep on your daughter.
Girls are a little later into like my daughter never wanted
anything to do with her two brothers playing growing up.
If they were doing basketball, she was inside.
If they were, she wanted nothingto do with it.
(06:51):
And then like 4th or 5th grade, the flip switch, just the switch
flipped. And like I left to come do this
with you and she was out with myniece in the driveway doing like
a private basketball training, sweating in 100° now in 7th
grade. So like it flips.
So don't sleep on your daughter now.
Yeah, definitely, definitely theother, the other thing.
I, I, I, I, I'm wondering from you, and I don't know you, you
(07:14):
might have struggled. It might be different because
obviously like there might be a little more pressure on your
kids just because you played in the NFL.
But the there is and I, I think I've done a good job of it.
I think parenting is really hardon its own and it gets really
hard when you start comparing yourself to other parents.
And that's the really difficult part of like having to be like,
Hey, my kid is my kid. They're going to do things at
(07:36):
their speed and they're going todo things that they want to do.
And you can't compare to other. Like some of my friends would be
like, Oh yeah, my kid it, you know, 4 wanted to play, had a
bat in his hand. Like you said, like being like,
I want to go play and I and, andlike, it's, it's just human
nature to then compare your, your child.
But you have to stop yourself and be like, no, that's not my
(07:59):
kid is going to be his own person and he's going to do
things at his speed and just finding that balance because
you're right. Like right now I do have to to
somewhat force him to do things.And the, and the, the craziest
thing is that, you know, this, like my, my son will not want to
go to Taekwondo. And then we'll go and he'll have
the best time, of course. And, and at the end he'll be
(08:20):
like, that was awesome. Like I broke a board, I got a
new belt, all that stuff. Like he was so happy when he
got, when he went up a level in the belt.
And I was just like, yeah, see, this is, I wish I could bottle
this up and remind you every time we're in the car after
school and being like, you want to go to Taekwondo and you're
like, no, I don't want to go. It's like, remember that moment.
But it's hard because he's 6. You know, it's hard for six year
(08:41):
olds to, to, to, to understand that and in like future plans.
So like the comparison thing is really, really difficult.
And I'm sure it gets even more difficult as you get as your
kids get older and every, you know, it gets a little more
competitive and trying to tryingto navigate that where you don't
want to be the overbearing dad who's not only pushing him too
(09:02):
hard, but also bragging too muchabout like what your kid is
doing to a point where you're you now become the person you
don't like. What's up guys?
Do you want custom fan wear likethis cricket shirt for Charlotte
Christian School? We've got premium apparel from
your favorite brands. The best part about it is I
don't have to just wear it to Charlotte Christians events.
I can wear it to golf, I can wear it to lunch.
(09:23):
It's turned into my uniform. Go right now over to Youth dot,
Inc Sign up for our newsletter. It talks about our podcast for
that week, our interview guests,all the breaking news across the
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Piece of merch for your school. By going to Sign up today and
remember itsnot.com, it's Youth dot Inc.
Now back to our episode with BigCat and I.
(09:44):
And I think you bring up a really good point because there
is an element that again, we're,we're all bias, right?
We we all parent our kids to similar to our upbringing and
similar to our experiences and the things that we love.
We want our kids to love. We want to share the we want to
go to the Cubs game and have your kid be a die hard Cubs fan
and sit in Wrigley and tell you the batting lineup and like
(10:05):
every dad dreams of that with their kid, that you know, your
kid loves football because that's what we love.
That's what we grew up loving. We grew up watching it.
And everyone wants to share those experiences with their
kids. So there is that element where
you have to you. I don't know how to teach my kid
to go fishing. I don't know how to teach my kid
to join the band, the orchestra.If they were interested in it, I
(10:28):
would love it. I'd be in the front row at the
recital and I'd be all in if they were all in.
But I only know what I know and I only know what I enjoy doing.
So I guess we all are, selfishlyor biasly, whatever you want to
say, kind of push our kids to try to enjoy things that we
enjoy because there is an element to how cool would it be?
(10:48):
Yeah, I love going to Cubs games, but how cool would it be
if, like, me and my kid grew up going there and he was also a
die hard fan? Like right or wrong, that's in
all of our brains, like, and I don't know how we fight that.
It's, it's really hard. I my kids have been, I have
season tickets to the Cubs. My kids have been to like 10
games this year and I think my daughter has watched like 2
(11:10):
pitches. You know, she goes because we
can get a hot dog and a pretzel and, but I, I like going and I,
I think they understand that I like going, but like there's
times where I'm like, you guys don't even understand how, how
nice this is. You've been to 10 games this
year. You know, we're halfway through
the summer. You've been to 10 games like so,
but they're, they're still so young.
And then the other thing I struggle with, and this is where
(11:32):
it started on PMT is like, I do want to coach them.
I want to be involved in that way, but I also don't want to do
it too early where I think it's hard for kids where like if your
dad is coaching you when you're 6, when you're 7, you start
thinking about your, you know, it's just a different
(11:53):
relationship. So it's like, when do I enter
that? Like I would love to, you know,
coach, you know, my son playing basketball, but I also don't
want to be at a, he's at a, he'sat an age right now where if I'm
at the practice, like it's goingto be me like telling him to pay
attention. And I don't want to do that, you
know what I mean? Because that's, that's kind of,
(12:13):
I have to do that at home. And I don't want to have to do
that when we're, when we're out,you know, doing something that's
supposed to be fun with all his friends.
So trying to find that balance of when I get involved and how
much I get involved. And maybe it's, I don't get
involved at all, but it's, it's,it's, it's, it's very difficult
because I, I do want them to like the things I like.
(12:33):
And you're exactly right. Like you in a dream world, it's
like they become a mini me. But that's not going to be
reality. You know, they have to like
their own things. Of course, and they should and
it should be encouraged as hard as sometimes, as hard as that
is, as a parent, as a dad, they should.
But I want to stay with that. All right, so take us inside.
What about coaching them in yourmind?
(12:56):
Sounds intriguing. Is it because you sit at the
practices and you're like, this is what I would do if I was
coaching? I wish they did more of this or
whatever. Or is it I just want to spend
more time with my kid. I want to bond over basketball.
Like what is the what is the allure of, of the idea of saying
I would like to, I don't know ifI will, but I would like to
(13:16):
coach my kids at some point. Like what aspect of the of it do
you think most appeals to you? I think it's just simply being
like as present as possible and,and not being just like, Oh
yeah, I'm going to go to your game and I'm going to sit and,
you know, on the sideline and watch you play.
Like I want to, I want them to feel like I'm really invested in
(13:37):
them because it's very importantto me.
And, and so that's really what the allure is like.
I want, I want them to be able to feel like, Hey, I, I am
taking a more than just the casual interest in what they're
liking and what they're doing after school.
I want to be there. I want to feel like I'm, I'm
participating with them because I think that's a really great
(14:00):
experience And I, and I want to do it for all my kids.
But I also, again, it's really hard because like, he played
basketball this year. He's, he's, he was 5 when he's
playing basketball, he couldn't reach the rim.
Like he was having fun. He was running up and down the
court like, so I don't really know what I could do to coach
him to reach the you know, we, we have a hoop in the backyard.
We've been practicing. He's, you know, we, I lowered it
(14:22):
so that he can actually start making baskets because I think
that's obviously important. If you can't make a basket, it's
probably the worst experience ofall time.
But now he's making baskets and we go out in the back and he's
like, I want to make 40 today. It's like, all right, let's sit
here and make 40. So he he has shown some interest
in it, but I, yeah, it, it's more just wanting to feel like
there's something that they likethat I am taking an extra
(14:45):
interest in. And I'm not just the passive dad
who's like, all right, I'm goingto drive you to the game.
I'm going to tell you a good game after.
I want you to feel like I'm there really supporting you.
But it is that hard balance of Idon't want to be overbearing and
I don't want to push you too hard.
And I want you to have to feel the pressure of, oh, my dad's
coaching or my dad's assistant coaching.
(15:06):
And then you throw in the part where, and this is maybe not as
relatable, but you, it's relatable to the two of us.
Like, I know that my kids are going to have a little bit of a
different upbringing because I'ma public figure.
So trying to make sure that theyhave the most normal childhood
they can possibly have given thecircumstances that when we walk
(15:27):
down the street, people will saywhat's up to me.
And it's kind of a weird experience for them.
So trying to find that too, where it's like I, I know that
they're not going to it. It's just, it's just the, the
really what it is. I, I think they're going to have
a great childhood. I think I'm going to be able to
give them things that a lot of people probably can't.
And I understand, I'm very thankful for that.
But I also understand that therewill be a day when, when, when
(15:51):
they're in school, when they're,you know, 910, eleven years old
and they pull up a video of me pissing my pants and they're
like, this is your dad. And that's not a normal thing
for most kids. So trying to compartmentalize
that in my brain and realize that that day will come and
trying to make it as normal as possible for them.
Yeah. And and so what's so cool like
(16:12):
as I sit here now with three middle school kids and you sit
here very early on, like your 6 year olds, like really just
starting this path in the four and two year old, they're just
they, they haven't even gotten there yet.
But like, I remember being in your shoes and everything I
imagined and I was like, all right, I know this world.
I know sports. I grew up in it.
I played it. Everything I imagined it being.
(16:35):
I was probably like 75% wrong, like what I thought it was going
to be. I was like, that's not when I
sit here now. Looking back to when they were
six and four, like you are, whatI thought I knew then and what
I've experienced between then and now have been very
different. So all I would say to you is
like what you have it pictured in your brain of how these
(16:56):
elementary to middle school years are going to progress, no
one has any idea. Yeah, isn't that the best?
Part I sure as hell don't. Isn't that the best part of
being a dad too? Because like it and being a
parent, it's when whenever a friend of mine has a kid or is
expecting a kid and they'll ask for advice, My advice is always
the same. It's simply don't listen to
(17:18):
anyone's advice because the bestpart of it is figuring it out
yourself. And there's no, there's no book.
You can read a book if you want,you can, you can listen to
everyone, but everything is different.
And the trial and error is the best part.
Like that is the fun of it, of being a parent is like trying to
figure it out yourself and, and,and having these moments where,
(17:39):
yeah, you feel like you're underwater and then getting back
your head above water and being like, all right, I think we got
to figure it out. And then going back underwater
and just the, the trial and error is the beauty of being a
parent. But you're right.
Like I, I, I have an envision inmy head and it's probably going
to be very different, but I just, I really am like it.
It's it's hard to and again, I feel bad because this is
(18:02):
probably not the most relatable part of the conversation we're
going to have. But like, how do you make it so
that your kids have a, as normalas a upbringing as possible,
given the circumstances of like who I am and, and, and the, the
things that they're going to be like they're going to, there
will be a moment where they realize, oh, we have things, we
(18:23):
have toys, we have vacations that not everyone has, you know
what I mean? So, and, and, and trying to
navigate that in, in the best way possible.
So that I, I raise kids that become good, caring people that
are, that are nice to others and, and, and accept that they
have some really cool opportunities, but that it's not
(18:45):
everyone has that. And how lucky they are.
Like we went to the first Cubs game I ever went to with my son
two years ago. I think he had, I think he got 3
balls within the first like inning and a half.
Like we saw Tom Ricketts walkingin, he gave him a ball.
We saw David Ross in the dugout,he gave him a ball.
And then like I think there was one other player who gave him
balls. Like I was like, dude, you have
(19:07):
3 baseballs from a Major League Baseball game an inning and 1/2
in. This is not normal.
This is not normal. This is not what like the what
what happens? You have to realize how lucky
are we went to I took him to hisfirst Blackhawks game and it was
Chris Chelios night and I knew know some of the guys from the
cup teams. So I went to say hello to him.
(19:27):
My son got a picture with Wayne Gretzky.
I was like, dude, you don't knowwhat like this is not and and,
and and the car ride home after I was like, that was the best
hockey player of all time. And he was like, well, how many
goals did you score in the NHL? And I was like, I scored zero.
He's like, why didn't you score any?
I was like, well, that's a different story.
Like, but it's so just trying tofigure it out.
(19:47):
I know how lucky I am and I knowhow lucky they're going to be,
but just trying to be like this is you have to still have your
feet grounded and, and understand like being a good
person is the most important part.
And if you have these lucky experiences?
Embracing them, but knowing thatthey're not everyone's.
No doubt. And I'll take it one step
further and I can almost this, Ican almost guarantee they're at
(20:11):
some point down the road. There is a guy in Chicago that
wants nothing more than to sit at the bar with his buddies and
tell you that, hey, last Saturday, Big cat's kid, my son
struck him out. Hey, last Tuesday night at the
basketball game, my kid, you know, took big cat's kid and
dunked. Like don't think that's not part
(20:32):
of the reality of their upbringing to my my kids go
through it here again, living here in Carolina, living here in
Charlotte, like night. Most people are really cool and
nice. But like, I know damn well
there's dads in the in the stands that when my kids up to
bat, they want him to strike out, right.
They want like and that's just the reality because then they're
going to tell their buddy. So in Chicago, that dude at the
(20:54):
bar who's given war stories about his day back in, you know,
I won States and I part of that war story one day is going to be
he hopes his kid faces yours anddunks on him, scores on him,
strikes him out, take some yard,whatever.
It is like that's another element of all of this that is
in your future if your kids playsports.
That's true. It's true.
(21:15):
And I yeah, that's, that's, but you're right, most people are
very, very cool. But yeah, that's and it's just
trying to make sure that they'renot shielded, but like they have
to be shielded a little bit because this is I, I never
understood the phenomenon of like putting your kids like
aggressively online when they'revery young.
(21:36):
I think that's, I think that's crazy to me because it's like, I
just always think about like oneday they'll be in high school
and, and someone will pull up a video of them like crying or
saying something stupid and likethat's kids are mean.
You know what I mean? Like kids are mean.
Like in that age guy on them. Quick, right, right.
So I I've done a good job of that, but it's just yeah, just
(21:58):
try to try to find, navigate that whole thing.
When did you start coaching yourkids?
Young, young and I, I mean, theywere God.
I probably my oldest son, he started doing, you know, the
T-ball machine, pitch, coach, pitch, whole world probably like
6. So I, that was probably my first
experience coaching them. We did flag football probably
(22:22):
give or take in that 789 range. So then I had both boys doing,
doing T-ball baseball. So I, I, I was probably their
rec baseball coach when they were six and five, seven and
five, something like that. And they've done that all the
way through. And then as all of the, as all
(22:42):
three of them got into coaching,as all three of them got into
sports. Now I'm like one season of
sports when the fall I do football, which my oldest son
had played. Now my younger son's going to
play for the first time. So I'll have both them in the
winter. I've done my, my daughter's
basketball team at school. And then in the spring I coach
my younger son's baseball. So I give them each a season and
(23:03):
listen, I enjoy it. I love it.
I probably care too much and I spend probably too much time and
energy doing it. And there's times where I go
home and I'm like, this isn't worth it.
Like this is so much aggravationand this is so much stress in my
life. Why am I doing this over middle
school sports? And then the next day comes and
we got practice and you're out on the field and you're pouring
(23:26):
into these kids and your own kidand you're like, this is
awesome, you know? So like, it's a up and down.
It's a roller coaster of emotions and stress and bullshit
from parents and other teams andother coaches.
And that all comes with it. But at the end of the day, what
I try to anchor myself in is I love pouring into these kids,
(23:47):
boys, girls, the ages sport and I'm not the greatest baseball
guy. I'm not the greatest basketball
guy. Like I believe at the and this
is one thing I will tell you my my biggest advice to to people
that you don't want to get involved coaching their kids.
Everyone is so concerned with how much you know about the
sport. Well, did you play baseball?
Did you play basketball? Did you play football?
(24:08):
Some of the best youth football coaches never played it down a
football past high school. Some of the best youth baseball
coaches have never played an inning of baseball past high
school. And maybe not even that.
Like how much you know about thesport at the young age means
very little and out. So I would say as your kids get
older and you're and if they do show into sports and they get
(24:28):
into it and you're trying to pick teams, which is a whole
nother can of worms. Don't spend as much time
worrying about the former MLB guy, the former NFL guy, the
former NBA guy, or you know, whatever.
Like find someone who can communicate, find someone who's
organized, find someone who really wants to pour the energy
in the structure because at the young age, that's really the
(24:51):
biggest impact that you're making.
Anybody could teach a kid how toshoot a layup.
Anybody can teach a kid. But like, can you give structure
and organization? That's the part that I love.
That's the part that I look around to other coaches and I'm
like, these guys have no idea what they're doing and they
might know more about the sport than me.
I just think at the young age what you know about the sport is
(25:13):
almost the least important. Yeah, and, and, and it's
interesting because I, I do think sports, youth sports are
in a weird spot, like whether you're talking about AAU or all
these travel baseball teams. Because I, I do think it's
gotten like too serious too early.
And, and, and a lot of, a lot ofpeople put a lot of pressure on
(25:33):
these kids and, and, and sports or team sports are not vilified,
but it's like this weird. You know, you see some of these
travel baseball teams and like the kids wearing all the gear
and stuff when they're seven years old.
And it's like, I don't that thatseems like a lot, but I do I
like, I started this whole, you know, our conversation.
I do think kids being part of a team is very important,
(25:55):
especially at a young age. And if they're not, you know, if
they don't play past the age of 10, who cares?
But like just that experience ofhere's how we win, here's how we
lose, here's the commitment we make to the team.
We don't quit on a team. Those are life lessons that I
think all kids should, should experience at some point.
Because later on in life you're,you're, you know, 99.99999% of
(26:19):
them are not going to go to college and play sports or pro
and play sports. But they are going to be in a
setting at some point in their life where teamwork and being
and not quitting on a team and contributing to a team matters.
And those are things that you can take away from sports.
Whatever, say, if the idea of youth sports is to make
professional athletes, we shouldjust disband the entire process,
(26:40):
right? But it.
Feels like that sometimes now, right?
Like it does feel like there's some crazy parents out there
that are that, that think every kid is going to go pro.
And it's like, I don't think, I think maybe we just need to do a
better job of educating like parents of of just how
statistically improbable. It is, you know, but it's only
how insane it is. But it's only statistically
(27:01):
improbable for your kid. Not my kid.
Yeah, true. That's that's like a 50. 50
chance. I don't mean literally mine, but
you specifically. No, no, I didn't.
I didn't mean mine. I mean like hypothetical.
That's the mindset of so many families.
It's like, yeah, I know all the stats, but they're not talking
to me. Yeah.
So like that, that mentality, I don't know how you combat that.
(27:23):
Like I have 0 expectation that any of my kids are ever going to
make a living playing sports. Ever.
I want my kids. I've been on record from the
beginning. The reason I pour and spend all
this time and all this energy. Now, if they told me tomorrow
like I'm over it, I don't want to keep doing it, fine, I'd
have, I'd be able to go on summer vacation.
(27:43):
But the my entire reason for pouring into all these kids,
mine and everyone else's, is my greatest hope is that they all
find an opportunity to have a great high school sports
experience. When I think back on my entire
sports journey, I played in Super Bowls, Pro Bowls, some of
the biggest college football games, Name it.
(28:04):
The best moments that I had werewith your buddies in high
school. For me, it was Friday nights,
whatever the sport is, playing school ball with your buddies in
your hometown, that was the biggest thing in the world at
the time. Whether you went on to play
college pro for everybody on that field, whether it was your
final football game or you went on to play longer, that was the
(28:26):
biggest thing in the moment. I want my kids to experience
that. I just want them to be part of a
varsity high school experience and maybe they play a little
bit. They play a lot, They're good.
They're what, I don't know, whatever that looks like.
I just don't think there's anything better than that.
I think it's fun and cool, and whatever happens after that is
(28:46):
irrelevant to me. And also your kids probably will
GoPro. No, not not that's we're
pressure on them, but they at least have the genes.
Before we get back into the episode, a quick reminder to
follow us across all socials. We're posting daily content
centered around youth sports. All right, let's hop back into
(29:07):
it. All right, so like we've all
seen the parents in the wild, right?
We've seen the videos. We've seen Jalen that famous
Jalen Brunson video, which I happen to actually love of like
his dad just wearing his ass outon the like local neighborhood
court while mom videos. And he's like, I'm gonna kick
this the ball over the fence. If you jog again, I'm sitting
there and I'm like, I like this guy.
Like, this is that kind of guy. And everyone's like, oh, it's
(29:28):
too hard, It's too much. And then I'm like, did you watch
the Knicks this year? Do you think that shit just
happened? You think this guy was just
telling him everything you do isamazing and he grew up to be a
dog. Like, he grew up to go out there
and try to kill you every game. Like, you can create that.
Now, that's not for everyone. That's not for every kid.
But like we all see these examples.
Give me your like, I refuse to be this sports parent, whether
(29:52):
it's this year or in five years.Like what kind of sport parent
are you going to be when it's not 6 year old T-ball like your
kids in a really competitive basketball game in 8th grade?
Like I'm talking like he's old enough to compete.
Are you in the corner quiet? Are you yelling at the refs?
Are you telling your wife to sitdown?
Like what? What are you doing?
(30:13):
I, I, I think it's really just the, the, the parents that are
like screaming at UMPS screamingat refs that always just makes
my skin crawl. I'm like, come on, guys like
this. Can't you?
Because, because you also like, we know like the, the refs and
UMPS in, in these, in these youth sports, they're getting
paid nothing. They're getting paid like $10.00
(30:35):
an hour. There are a lot of times kids
themselves and I, I just hate those videos.
So I, I think I'll do a good jobof, of, of not being that guy
because I think that guy does suck.
Where it's like, you know, low state follow up sports.
Yeah. Follow up in a couple years.
Yeah, I listen. I, I think I can hold myself,
(30:56):
you know? Will I fire off a tweet?
Maybe. Maybe, but I'm not going to be
saying anything in the moment. Can you please we need to start
like an account of like everything I wish I could say at
my kids games out loud, but likewe just start like a like a
burner account. Yeah, that's listen, you should
do that. I I I found the hack is you just
if if when you see me tweet, they're just kids.
(31:17):
That's me just trying like I do it with college sports.
I'm I'm I'm blaming the kids, but I'm saying they're just
kids. So that's a that's a nice out
where I'm just like, hey, listen, I can't believe this
shit had just dribbled the ball off his his foot in a big game.
But they're just kids. They're just.
Kids and I only had a couple dollars on the parlay.
On the yeah. Good news is the good news is
(31:40):
when you're watching your kids play youth sports, well,
hopefully you have no action on the line right.
So maybe it's going to be a little bit different than when
you're watching Wisconsin and they blow a fourth quarter lead
because you may or may not have bet the money line.
So that's that's a positive. You're Maybe that's why you're
so relaxed at your kids games, because it's the only sporting
event you ever watch that the outcome really doesn't matter.
(32:04):
Yeah, that's true. That's true.
Although I need to maybe not beton games while I'm also watching
their game. Like, you know, my, my son's
basketball was like practice wasFriday nights and and I would I
would usually like it was like 6:00 on a Friday night.
I'd be like, all right, what, what do we got in the Ivy League
hoops, like, you know, and I'd be sitting there.
(32:26):
All right, let's throw in a couple bets while we sit here
and watch a bunch of kindergarteners not be able to
reach the rim. So maybe they'll do that, too.
Yale's point guard goes from sixfrom three and you and you got
the over. And then all of a sudden you're
you're just screaming at your kid, taking it out on it's.
Yes, yes, exactly that. That could potentially happen.
That could potentially happen. I think there's a high
(32:48):
likelihood it does happen and I'm here for it.
All it has happened. And when it does, just call me
and we can talk about it becausechances are whatever you,
whatever guilt you bring home with you one night, there's 100%
chance at some point I carried probably even more guilt over.
So you can call me and we can talk through it because I have a
lot of, I have a lot of experience.
(33:10):
I actually think that's a great way to end too, because I think
parenting just in general, not even talking about sports, like
I said, going back to the competitive nature of it,
there's no one out there who's like got it figured out
perfectly. And I think the pressure of, oh,
they've got it figured out. Like it's always nice when I'll
(33:30):
see other parents struggling in the wild and I'm like, yeah,
that's, that's, that's what it is.
Like that we're all dealing withthis, you know, like we're at a
restaurant and one of them's notlike, is going crazy.
It's like we got to, we got to order our food in in 5 minutes
and eat it in two and get the hell out of there.
Like seeing it, it reminds you that there is no perfect child.
(33:51):
There's no kid that's just, you know, sitting around and, and
has unbelievable manners at fiveyears old.
But there's those moments where you think that your kid is the
only kid who is doing this. And just to mind yourself to not
be hard on yourself and not be competitive with yourself and
other kids because every single parent is dealing with the same
thing. And we have, we have a really
(34:14):
bad thing that happens in society where we pretend that
everything is perfect when it's like, sometimes you just got to
talk about like, hey, this is not the yeah, this is a
struggle. This isn't easy.
Like bedtime isn't easy. It's a war every night in my
house. Guess what?
It's probably a war in everyone's house every night.
So we, we, we can't pretend thatit's something different and put
that pressure on ourselves. No doubt, Well that is how we're
(34:36):
going to wrap because dad to dad, friend to friend, just
sometimes it's cool to just talkand chat and just say Oh my God
we are all sharing the same struggle and we are all in the
same battle and I don't have theanswers.
I'm 10 years down the road from where you are and maybe in 10
years I'll have better advice for you other than just do the
best you can. But dude, I appreciate you
(34:58):
coming on it. It's just cool to get different
people's perspectives on their own parenting styles, their own
kids a lot. Some of it's similar, some of
it's very different. And just as a friend, dude, as a
dad, just appreciate you coming on and shooting the shit for a
little bit. And talk in this crazy world of
parenting and youth sports and all the good and bad that comes
with it. So appreciate you man, for
(35:19):
joining us. Love it of course, and, and and
when I, when we get further downthe line, I'm happy to come back
on and give you a new set of problems that I have.
I just can't wait till you come on in like 5 years and your kids
playing like competitive AAU basketball, your daughter's in
gymnastics, your younger ones just like the gym rat son, the
little brother who's just brought to every gym and you
don't even know where he is during the game and big cat is
(35:41):
on the end of the bench and he'ssweating.
He's got a clipboard and everything you just said has
been complete. I can't wait for that day.
Well, listen, listen, I, I'll behonest, the, the baseline that
all, I, all I need my kids to beable to do is have a jump shot
because they, my, my, my office has a full court gym.
So if they don't have a jump shot, that's one thing where
(36:03):
I'll be like, I failed because someday they'll try to take a
jump shot. And people are like, dude,
didn't you like grow up with access to a full court
basketball gym? Can't have that.
That's the only that's all we'relooking for.
That's a reflection on you. That's because that's a
reflection on just you as a father.
Like that's a tough one. That's a tough one to go to bed
with that night. Yeah, so get a jump shot.
Get a jump shot. All right, that's fair.
(36:26):
All right, buddy. I appreciate you man.
Of course. Man, that was fun.
What's up guys? Do you want custom fan wear like
this cricket shirt for CharlotteChristian School?
We've got premium apparel from your favorite brands.
The best part about it is I don't have to just wear it to
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(36:48):
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
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