At Your Best: The Importance of Strengthening Your Mental Health and Mindset

Reminder: Health is wealth. It's one thing to echo this mantra, but another to truly live by it. Struggling to visualize your strongest self? No need to worry—Dr. Imani and Meg Scoop are here to guide you. Join them as they explore strategies and resources to help chart your path forward. Plus, they perform a pop culture diagnosis of the Netflix original, "Leave The World Behind."

Episode Transcript

(00:09):
Hey, hey everybody. Hi,Hi everybody. So welcome to the Emani
State of My podcast, where I'mDoctor Emani as always and I Meg Scoop
as always, as as always perusual. So what's going on? What's
everybody gospel about? You know?I love the gossip? Oh yeah,
you know, so the oscars arecoming up March tenth. I don't care,

(00:31):
but well, people are still talking. Actually, I want to back
up. I'm sorry it's got theedited out. I don't want to talk
about these white people. I don'teither. I'm like, I don't care.
I look at this I did thismorning, and when I went through
everything, I was like, yeah, yah, yeah, I know these
stories. And then now that we'regoing through this, I want to talk.
I'm like, I don't care.I left this comment on David Allen
Greer's instagram because he was like,oh my god, Margot Robbie got robbed.

(00:55):
I'm like, you know what,First of all, shame on you
black man for like, I'm likethat movie he made a million fucking dollars.
Yeah, god forbid. Women don'tget a statue when she got like
half of a billion dollars whatever,the fuck. It was like, shit,
that bitch is all right, andshe produced it get out of my
face, and then some people likedit. So I was like, yeah,
okay, so I don't know whatthe hot gossips, but I do

(01:17):
have this question that I saw thatwas posed on the internet. Okay,
so there's a guy he was likemaybe he was definitely like salt and pepper
haired, right, okay, buthe had he had braids, okay,
And so then people started getting intolike, he's too old for braids.
And then people are like, whatage are you supposed to be to stop

(01:38):
wearing braids? Is there for men? Like is there a certain look that
you're supposed to be going at acertain age? Is there a certain age
and you should stop wearing braids asa man? Okay? This is an
interesting topic because all right, soI have I did date a man with
braids once. How old was he? Oh like thirty two? Like this

(02:00):
is a long time ago. AndI like, up until that point,
I was like, I'm not datinglittle boys. I'm not dating no dude
that got braised in his hair.But then I saw him at the gym
and I was like, Okay,he's an exception. He's kidding. Yeah,
I mean, he like worked outand stuff, and like you know,
like his hair was all nashurally curlyand like that's kind of like my
thing, and like it was reallylike nice. And when he blew it

(02:23):
out, I was like, ohmy god. So anyway, he used
to get his hair braided and youknow, like it it looked great for
him. Yeah, but that that'sreally been the only dude that I've ever
dated. And I guess, andthis is gonna sound fucked up when I've
seen dudes with braids that I guessmaybe like try to step to me.
Like there were other accouterments they hadthat I didn't really like, like like

(02:49):
like a lot of just like gaudyshit, like like a lot of change,
like you know, like they werethey were very like and I don't
even know if Alan Iverson wears likejewelry like that, but they were or
Alan Iverson with it, and Iwas just kind of like And also I
think because this particular guy that isdated, like his hair was long,
so it was definitely like it wasa look. But is there a certain

(03:12):
age when that look need to stop? Like can you be like sixty five
seventy with braids? I feel likewhat from the time you hit like ten,
and that's kind of pushing it untilyou get to like fifty, ten
to fifty, yeah, because becauseonce you hit because then once you hit
like fifty, it's like I don'tgive a fuck about nobody, Like I'm

(03:35):
out here doing my own thing,like I'm free, Like I don't know
what you're saying that it doesn't matterif he has it during that time,
I'm saying they shouldn't have it.It's still infantilizing to me during that time.
But ten to fifty, yeah,I know. But I'm like,
once you hit like fifty, likethen it's like I don't give a fuck
am I So like all the likeseventeen year old boys are supposed to have

(03:59):
like they're not supposed to have braids, I mean not not. I mean
I'm saying, I like, I'mnot a teenage girl, so you know,
I don't really know like if Iwould find a teenage boy at this
age attracted with braids. But stilleven if you if that was the case,
you're saying, if you saw aseventeen year old with braids, be
like you're too old for that.Oh yeah, I'd be like, Okay,

(04:21):
I mean, like, you're tooold for that hairstyle? You teenager?
Yeah, I mean, but that'sme personally, Like do I feel
like, oh, like, oh, what's wrong with you know? But
I would just be like, youknow, like if I was if I
was a teenage girl, I probablywould be like, yeah, like I
do like you, but you yeah, you need to cut your hair.
But I mean that's just that's me. But again, I did date somebody

(04:43):
when I was like twenty seven twentyeight who had braids. So like,
really, I have no dog inthis fight. So what should a man
do If he has long hair buthe doesn't braid it, then he lock
it? So locks are okay,but braids are not. Yeah wait why,
I don't know. It's just apreference. It's just a preference to
me. I just I guess this'I associate like braids with like little kids.

(05:05):
Oh okay, And so that that'sreally why you know, But I
mean you could, I mean youcouldn't. I mean, I don't want
to see nobody out here with theCoolio. That's that's really what I'm I
think that that's like Coolio left meemotionally scarred. God, because remember when
he got old, and then hewas bald, but he had them like
two little braids and maybe sticking outthe side, and he had like little
antenna. M girl, No,Like I would say, put him to

(05:30):
the back, don't do it.You cannot coolio is. You cannot do
the coolio under any circum under anycircumstances. But you can't just get Carros
to the back. You can getCarls to the back. But I feel
like by that point, like let'sdo locks. Like I feel like locks
look more distinguished as you get old. I would say, if that's what,
if you want to do something withher and locket then, but I

(05:50):
don't know. To me, Ido feel like there is an age cap
on braids, and I don't necessarilyknow what that number is because I also
think it depends on like maturity andjob and like what like what do you
where do you work? Right?Like if you're working, I don't know,
I don't necessarily if you're corporate,No, if you're if you're if

(06:12):
if you're an entrepreneur, if youhave your own business, you can do
whatever you want. You can,but I still think you probably should just
do other hairstyles. So what's sowhat's your cut off? Because you was
you was like, what's your cutoff? What you feel like the cutoff
should be somewhere in at like thirty, I feel like the time by the
time you hit third Brandy, hesaid, like, you don't do why

(06:32):
do you need breads for? Orif you're if you're maybe you're an entrepreneur
so you live your own life andyeah, okay, so maybe we can
push that number up to thirty five. That's a little but that's to me.
After that, do something else withyour hair. If you really want
hair, then just like lock it, okay, or if or maybe you
look for a natural curly look,maybe you try that. Maybe you try

(06:54):
to see what your natural curls looklike. I don't know, Yeah,
I just I personally like men withshorter hair, right, I don't really
like a long look because I don'tit depends I don't know if you're using
my hair products, like well,it depends on their hair texture for me,
like as you like Peter's hair islong, Like his hair is long
and it's curly and it's just it'sreally cute and it's salt pepper and I

(07:16):
like it. He likes it.But I know that. Like Peter will
go through phases of like I'm growingit, and then he'll be like like
the next day he's like, I'vecut it all off from Tiden. But
if he gets braids. He didtry to get braids when they were too
tight. He was like, theseare too tight. I can't and it's
like, Hi, to take himout of your head? You two over
that. No he took him out, Okay, yeah I was. I
mean I didn't care it was apandemic. I was like, I don't
give a fuck. Were going nowhere. But I was like, but if

(07:39):
he was going somewhere, if hewas, I still would be like,
what's what's up? I mean,regardless, I'm gonna push up on Peter
anyway, just because but like ifhe had braids and then he took him
out and his hair was naturally curly, like I would just like turn into
a puddle, Like I just Idon't like braids at this age. I
don't like braids at this age.Just but I'm almost fifty. So now

(08:01):
I'm like I don't give a fuck, Like do you you know what I'm
saying? Like I'm like, look, I made it. I didn't die
I'm out here. I got ajob. Can't nobody tell me shit,
I'm about to get these old peoplediscounts. Like if you want to braise
your hair, do what you wantto do. So that is true.
I did. I will say thatbecause you know my husband now he's box
his hair. But I don't likethe type of locks he has. Like

(08:22):
I'm one of those people. Ifeel like you need to get them neatly.
They need to be I need tosee the Yes, I'm one of
those people like I like to seesome neat locks. He is, oh
he got them z they borderline boskyacht and so like I was like like,
he let me cut them one timeand like shape it, yeah,

(08:43):
shape it kind of like you know, get some pieces apart because they was
in there just bosk, and Iwas like, I don't know if this
is the look that you were goingfor, and he was like, yes,
it is, I'm trying. Andthen then when I showed him boscacht,
he was like, oh, yeah, you're right, and I was
like, m look like yeah.And then so then we cut it and
then he didn't like it because he'slike they're falling down because you know,

(09:05):
when you when you separate locks thatare like yeah, like let him fall.
And then so now he's in aphase where he's like, Okay,
I think I'm okay with him,like like getting the like he wants them
to be, like he wants themto be standing up. But when your
hair grows, yeah, it's gonnaunless you get like a Kodak Black situation
and you only have like four hugelocks, No, they're gonna fall.
So I think he's okay with itnow, and I think he likes he's

(09:26):
okay with the look of them fallingdown. But like, I have to
remind myself that hair is an individuallook it is lets people do what they
want with their hair. So guesswhat when I decid I'm gonna cut all
my hair off, you better notsay none to me. I mean that's
too okay, So I say noneto me. Your hair it's starting to
fall, so it's but you know, but then when we were like here,

(09:50):
when they were shorter, and itwas like, okay, what's going
on. Yeah, it kind oflooks like, Okay, this is gonna
sound weird, But like I wishI could show it to you guys,
Peter, that I like getting mynails done, and so he sent me
this this instagram of this woman whoeach nail had like was chicken feet,
but they were three chicken feet pernail. So like jay Z's hair like

(10:16):
a couple of years ago, lookedlike those little chicken feet. Look they
looked like he was doing the yetfor a while, right like to me,
like I'd be like, yeah,you're gonna have to figure out what
you're gonna do. Yeah, Ican't. I can't do like this is
this is a bit much for me. But but my husband's hair was headed

(10:39):
that route. But and again Ihave to tell myself, Okay, making
hair is an individual expression, rightand as long as he keeps it clean
that you don't have no issues.And also like this, keep this in
mind when this year turn and youwant to do something crazy with your hair.
To your hair, oh yeah,exactly the same energy. Well exactly.
Well, And in speaking of that, because I've had dudes who I've

(11:03):
dated and they were like, theywere like, yeah, maybe you should
do something different with your hair,I'm like, nigga, look here's the
thing. You met me for areason. Because I want it this way.
I'm like, do not come upin here, like, don't ever
make no suggestions to me about whatI should do. If I come to
you and ask you, do youlike this? The answer is always yes,
period. Like I don't want tohear a shit. I don't really

(11:24):
want your opinion. That's the thing. DM. I'm like, now,
if you ask me, I willtell you. But I'm telling you right
now, do not come up inhere talking about so what do you think
about wiggs? Bitch, get outof my face. I will never speak
to you. You get out ofhere. I will never ever ever speak
to you again. Okay, Sowe don't really have an age on braids.

(11:46):
Well, I guess not. Imean, I mean people are gonna
do whatever they want to do.Now if they ask me, like,
hey, Mony, do you likethis, like, be prepared for my
answer. But I'm not gonna I'mnot like, oh, you need to
cut your hair, Like no,that's none of my business, right,
Just like I'm sure you know thereare people like you should grow your hair
and see what it looks like.I was like, I know you,

(12:07):
right, and that's why it's likethis. In fact, I'm about to
go get some I have an appointmentnext week to go get a consultation for
laser hair removal on my scalp.Oh it's been decades. I'm like,
I don't feel like shaving the shipevery day. So yeah, I'm like,
I'm like, zap that ship Iever wanted. Yeah, you just

(12:28):
get a wig. You ain't haveto grow your hair bag. I'm not
wearing a wig. You know whatI'm saying. If you ever wanted that,
like you, because some people mightsay, like, oh, well
that's like so permanent. I knowthat's the point. Yeah, Like I
know, like I said, Andif if you wanted air, you could
get a wig. But if youdon't want hair, guess what you have
laser and you're fine. You ain'tgotta ever shave it again. I got
tattoos for my birthday. I gotI got two more holes in my ear.

(12:50):
I was looking at that. Yeah, I got my air. I'm
gonna get another two holes in myear. I just I like personalization.
So yes, I will say officially, I do not have any type of
issue as far as age with braids, But if you ask me personally,
you know, I might tell youmay cut them braids off your head,
mister John. Yeah, like yeah, I mean, I just it depends.

(13:13):
It depends. So anyway, youguys, twenty twenty four, we're
off to a good start. Butit is a new year, and like
the start of every new year,people set goals and resolutions and declarations.
I kind of like goals. Idon't really like the idea of resolutions because
it just sounds too like, itsounds too break it right, exactly,
like like I'm gonna lose one thousandpounds this year. It's like, no,

(13:35):
you're not. Yeah. Yeah.So for all of you guys that
are trying to set your boundaries,protect your piece, and take better care
of your mental health, this deepdive is for you, Okay, So
we're going to be focusing on layingthe groundwork and using tools to strengthen your
mental health. All right, So, whether you're just starting on your mental
health care journey or you've been onthe journey for a while, it's always
good to do a little refresher onshifting your mindset to be the best version

(13:58):
of yourself. Yes, and ifyou like a Moni State of Mind podcast,
please rate and review us on allof your favorite podcast apps. And
if you're watching us on YouTube,don't forget to subscribe. To the channel
like this and share it. Yeah, smash the buttons, as the YouTuber
say. So, we have somuch to discuss on this episode, so
let's get right into it after thisbreak. So everybody is time for one

(14:24):
of our favorite segments, Ask doctorYmni anything, and this is where both
of us, me and Meg whoisn't named doctor Ymani, but it's both
of us. We will answer yourquestions about anything, and we love reading
your letters and we're ready for somemore questions. So, Meg, who
is our first letter from today?It is from mackenzie, Hey McKenzie,
and it reads, dear doctor Yemaniand Meg. I am so frustrated with

(14:48):
the men my husband calls his friends. They are all single and immature and
do not respect that he is amarried man. When I try to tell
my husband he needs to find somemarried friends because he's easily influenced, he
gets upset with me. I recentlytook matters into my own hand and called
one of his best friends and toldhim if he cared about my husband,
he would go ghost. Well,he went ghost, and my husband is

(15:11):
absolutely depressed and angry with his friend. I'm starting to feel guilty that he
is so sad and confused why hisfriend is no longer answering his calls.
He's starting to actually come to memore and confide in me, but I
know he's hurting he lost his bestfriend. He actually cried in my lap
the other day because he felt likehe lost a brother. I think I
made a mistake, but at thispoint, I don't know how to make

(15:33):
the situation right without him being extremelyupset with me for what I did.
Any advice on how to fix this? Oh, okay, Macken's Oh my
goodness. Okay, So first ofall, I mean, Mackenzie, you
kind of wrong. You are onehundred percent dead wrong, and so anything

(15:58):
that happens after this point is completelyjust so you know. But we're gonna
help you. Yeah, we're gonnahelp you. So first of all,
I will say, like, Ithe relationship that I'm in that I talk
about all the time, I know, but it's nice. Me and Peaiter's
relationship is nice because we're actually likemy friends are his friends and vice versa.
Like I have some of their numbersand not like, oh give me

(16:19):
your number because I need to knowyou know what y'all doing, But like
we have our own relationship as well, which is which is really cool because
I like his friends and vice versa. Now, I, however, I
would not call his friend yeah andsay what you said to your husband's friend
Mackenzie like that's not my place,yeah, Like that's his friend. If

(16:41):
anything, I would have gone tomy husband and say, you know,
I really I mean, because yousaid that all of your husband's friends are
single and immature and don't respect thathe's a married man. You didn't provide
any examples, so I'll you know, I don't know exactly what your husband's
friends are trying to get him into. But at the end of the day,
your husband is an adult and he'shis own person. Like, if

(17:03):
they want to all go to thestrip club, you and your husband can
have a discussion about that, andand if your husband doesn't want to go,
he can be like, well,y'all have fun, I'm not gonna
go, right, And if hethe only person he's obligated to and you're
obligated to is each other, right, So anything outside of that, if
you have an issue with that,you're supposed to take it to your significant
other, not anybody else. Soif you don't like his friends you don't

(17:26):
like, you know, what theydo because they're single people, and you
don't like your husband being around that. That's a conversation you have with your
husband. If he continues to gowith him and he feels like, well,
this is my friends and this iswhat we do, then you either
a need to just figure out howto be okay with that or you need
to move on right because this man'snot so you see what I mean for
you to step outside of those twooptions and go, well, I'm gonna

(17:48):
take matters into my own hands andtell his friend shows me y'all need to
go to counseling tremendously. But thenhere's the other thing that she I do
agree with that that this particular friendis single and immature. Because if one
of if my friend's husband called meand was like, yo, imani,
you being wild, immature and disprectingmy relationship and I don't want y'all hanging

(18:12):
out. You need to ghost,I would be like, well, I
got to call my friend about this. The fact that the fact that the
friend was like, oh okay andghost it. It's like, but he
also a man, though, what'sthat mean? Which means it makes more
sense that a man would do thatthan why because because guys are like,
oh, well, well, Iain't trying to call him, you know,

(18:32):
because I think this I was likedumb, because no, I think
this man is really his her husband'sbest friend. Yeah, they're really good
friends. And I think he feltlike, oh snap, like I wasn't
trying to cause no issue between himand his lady if she telling me this
and like, and obviously they knoweach other, so if he might just
be like, dang, I don'twant to be the cause of him having

(18:52):
all these issues, So I'm juststep back, bro, like I don't
want to you know. So obviouslyhe is immature because he should have had
the conversation with his homeboy like yourwife called blah blah blah. But the
fact that he stepped back it doessay at least he really is a good
friend and he didn't want to causeno right right right. Honestly, this
is what I would do, McKenzie. I would since you got the friend's

(19:15):
number, clearly call the friend,call your husband best friend and be like,
yo, can you come by ourhouse at this time? I know
my husband's going to be home.And then you need to sit with your
husband and his friend and say,hey, babe, I called your friend
and I said this and I'm sorryand I apologize and that's why he's not

(19:37):
talking to you. And then Iwould leave the room because they need to.
They need to they need to resumetheir friendship. Like if your husband's
crying your lap and he's like Ilost my brother and all this stuff,
like you really did cause this?Yeah, yeah, so I would.
I mean a your husband will behappy to see his friend, though,
be you're gonna have to deal withthe fallout from your husband later. But

(20:00):
I think it would show good faithif you were able to bring his best
friend over, because that's really whatyour husband is missing. Yeah, like
he misses his friend and now hereally about the while out Mackenzie, Okay,
anytime somebody is not doing what youwant them to do, you then

(20:21):
have to go, Okay, wellwhat am I going to do with this
person? Meaning do I accept whatthey're giving me or do I say no,
that's not acceptable and I'm going tohave to do things on my own
for myself, not like I'm gonnado things to make you change. Your
can't make change if he's not respectingyou know, you said that he's easily

(20:41):
influenced, right, so maybe youneed to have so he no longer is
influenced by these people. If hecontinues to do this, then you might
not need to be married to thisman if he does not respect the sanctity
of your marriage. And I'm assuminghe's doing If these men are single and
immature, I'm assuming they're dealing witha lot of women. Right, they're
right doing stuff with women, andyou don't know, We don't know that,

(21:03):
but I'm just assuming if you're sayingthat they're single, they're immature,
what and he's married. The biggestdifference right there is is commitment, right,
they don't have commitment to women.He has a commitment to a woman.
And you don't like that they're dealingwith women. I'm assuming that's part
of it. Right, So whenyou you know, a, you need
to bring your married friends around andsee and have maybe y'all have like date
nights or something, right, right, you telling him to get married friends,

(21:26):
girg, you got married friends,like you bring them and their husbands
around and y'all hang out and dostuff together as a couple, and maybe
he'll hit it off with one ofthose guys. But in the meantime,
your friends are your friends, right, So if he's not respecting the boundaries
of y'all's marriage, then the issueis with him and not with his friends.
Yeah, don't don't need to takethat to that man. You need
to go get counseling with this man, or you need to leave this man,

(21:47):
because anything outside of that is justgonna make it worse. And now
what's gonna happen is he's not gonnawant to be around you exactly even more
than before, and he's gonna behanging with them dudes, and now he
might actually talk to them women exactly, Like this chick is not loyal to
me, right, she went completelystepped over me to go talk to my
friend. Like, Yeah, especiallyin a manage, you cannot circumvent the

(22:08):
loyalty that you have with each otherover something else, over your personal feelings
and legit, Mackenzie, if Iwas if I was your man's friend,
I would be I would have calledyour man like your wife just called me
and told me this, And Idon't want to be in the middle of
it. But this makes me uncomfortable. Yeah, so you're just unfortunately you're
gonna have to say seat that,because what's gonna happen is it's gonna be

(22:30):
even worse because what's done in thedark wild always come to light. And
what you don't want to have happenis there years go by and they're not
talking and out of the blue,somebody says something and because you know when
your wife had called, Mackenzie calledme and she said that I need to
stop talking to you, and nowhe will never forget and now you look
dumb as hell, exactly right,So it's not worth the temporary Like,
yeah, it's great that he's comingto you now for stuff, but that's

(22:52):
temporary and it's not worth the falloutthat is going to happen for real.
So get them together girl. Yeahsorry, Asapsie sor right. The next
letter comes from Jordan Ray, andhere is what Jordan Ray wrote. Clearly,

(23:15):
Hey, doctor HARMANI and Meg.I'm a twenty three year old Hispanic
gay woman and proud of it.However, I am terrified to tell my
family and friends since I have nottold them, I'm basically living a double
life. I have a fiance andthis should be an exciting time in my
life. Planning our wedding. Itmakes me sick inside, but my Hispanic
parents are very strict. My fatheris sick and I'm afraid this news might

(23:37):
send him over the edge. Iwant to be able to live out loud,
but I'm so afraid that living mytruth publicly will leave me with no
family to love me. My fiancehas been pressuring me to help start planning
our wedding, but I feel ifI start planning this wedding, I'm gonna
have to tell my family and friendsbecause I never envisioned my wedding without the
ones I love to witness it.I'm really nervous, and I don't know

(24:02):
how to come out to my familyand drop the bomb that I'm engaged.
I'm feeling really anxious to have thisconversation with my family. What are some
things I can do to ease myanxious thoughts and finally share my true self
with my family? Look at yourbody space? Oh okay, I'm Jordan
Ray. Yeah I'm not. I'mnot a gay woman. But first of

(24:22):
all, I want to say congratulationson your engagement. That's really awesome and
I'm happy that you found somebody foryou. So that's that's great. You're
twenty three now as someone I'm not, I'm not Hispanic or Latina, but
I definitely my family we tend tobe very kind of like Covenish like,

(24:52):
like we were definitely involved in eachother's lives as far as like our personal
choices and stuff like that. Butbut I will say that as I've gotten
older, that's not the case somewhere. Right, So you're twenty three,
I'm assuming that you're living on yourown. I'm assuming that you're not living,
you know, with your family.I'm assuming that your family isn't involved

(25:14):
in your finances. So honestly,like, if that's the case, you're
an adult. Like, you're anadult, and I definitely think that since
you're engaged, you need to tellyour family obviously, but I also wonder
it you know, how surprised willyour family be? Like do you think

(25:36):
your family has no idea that you'rea gay woman or or or hold on?
I would assume yes, just bythis, Well, she said,
since I have not, she said, I'm a gay woman and proud of
it. I'm terrified to tell myfamily and friends I have since I have
not told them, I'm living adouble life. I kind of feel like
you're I kind of feel like you'renot getting your family and friends enough credit.

(26:03):
I think they, I think,might suspect, but I don't know
if it's to the point where theyI think this news is so heavy because
it seems like she comes from avery conservative family, So I would assume
most of them probably was like,oh, maybe she's just a tomboy.
Like I think that might be theextent. There might be a couple people

(26:25):
that was like I had always wondered, but I think for the most part,
just the way she frames this,most of the people probably don't know
or like they just they will puther in the tomboy room or something like
that, but nothing of like,oh yes, yeah, also, I'm
wondering. She said, my fiancehas been pressuring me to help start planning
our wedding. Has your fiancee nevermet your family? No? Apparently not.

(26:45):
Yeah, so okay, so I'msorry. What's her name? Jordan?
So Jordan Ray? I think you'regonna have to start like with baby
steps. Ooh, I would saythat opposite, well, cause I'm just
like, you got at this point, it's you a whole gay woman,
and you got a whole fiance whoclearly was your whole girlfriend before. It's

(27:10):
like, okay, I would say, like, on a Monday, you
need to tell your family like,by the way, I'm gay, not
even by the way, but likeI'm gay by like, then a week
later you need to be like,hey, guess what I'm also engaged.
This is, this is I'm ina relationship. And then the following Monday,
and then the following Monday and belike, hey, guess what we're

(27:30):
engaged now, I say, ripedthe bandit off? You tell them all
at once. I mean there's thattoo, but but I'm like, so
that way, there's only one timefor shock and awe, you're gonna you're
gonna give your daddy a heart attackthree times because she says he's sick and
she's afraid. Just give all theall the news at once. I mean,
yess. I'm like, I reallyfeel like her family probably like they

(27:51):
probably know something something. Usually somebodycan suspect something. So I'm like,
if you give them, if youbread crumb them, like, if you
give them little bread crumbs, thenat least this way they'd be like she
probably in a relationship already, andthey'd be like, you know what,
she probably she probably gay? Wheream I go horribly wrong? Where she
tells them one piece of information likehey guys, I'm gay, and then
they everyone's like gonna shun you,I don't want to talk to you,

(28:14):
or like if she didn't even getto the rest of the information. So,
I mean, her question is whatare some things I can do to
ease my anxious thoughts and finally sharemy true self? I mean, Jordan,
you're just gonna have to tell now, well, if you wanna come
up with a plan to tell,and I think I think you should also
be prepared for what can happen,right, I think once you plan,

(28:36):
like look at the different scenarios onone spectrum, they might just be like,
oh, it's fine, we loveit, we don't care. Right,
Probably not what's gonna happen If they'reas conservative as you say they are,
right, they're they're either gonna belike, Okay, well, we
might need to process this, andthen they might still be like, oh
but we still love you, orthey might be like we do not accept
this, We do not accept you. You're not our daughter. Like those

(29:00):
are the you need to be preparedfor any one of those things. But
here's the thing. No matter whereyour parents and your family lies on this
spectrum of how they could react,you need to be okay with you and
your future and your fiance, like, right, because if that's the case,
y'all, it's just gonna be y'alland y'all's family, right. You

(29:23):
have to be okay with that becauseat the end of the day, as
much as you want your family involvedin your wedding, but if you were
straight and they didn't like your fianceand they didn't want to be a part
of it, like, it couldstill be an issue. Right, So
you you can't move according to whatyour family would like. You have to
go with what you want to do. And if this is your future,
you gotta be you gotta be proudabout that, regardless of what will happen

(29:45):
with your family. And you mightjust have to accept that they don't want
to be in your life and that'stheir choice. If they want to miss
out on the privilege of being inyour life, then you have to give
them that choice and be like,I'm sorry you feel that way, but
I'm gonna move on. But yeah, don't agree with my life, because
what if you were strict. I'mjust thinking like, like because you were
saying, you know, what ifwhat if it was different? And she's

(30:07):
like, oh, I'm a straightwoman, I'm a straight Latina, and
I'm my fiance is a black man. Like I feel like, yeah,
I feel like if her, ifher parents are as strict as she's saying,
that might be an issue too.So I'm so I mean I completely
First of all, I completely agree, like you got to tell your family
and at the end of the day, you got to live your life like

(30:27):
you like it's like this is me, Like I'm not going to turn into
somebody different to save face Field,Like that's ridiculous. And then also expect
that you know, I had hadthis conversation before, but like if you
you got to give your parents amoment to process. Because one thing that
I've learned as a parent now thatI am one, is that like I

(30:49):
have all these like dreams and goalsfor my son that I'm sure my parents
had for me. But like,like my dad said, I was going
to like he still he said somethingto me about this the other day,
was like, yeah, you shouldgo to Oxford. I'm like, I'm
a a Rhodes scholar girl now almostHe's been saying this to me for the

(31:10):
last twenty years. He wants meto be a road schol I don't know
why, but I was like,Dad, like, let it go.
That's not my back right, LikeI'm not going to Oxford. I'm not
going to be a Rhodes scholar.I don't want nothing like that's not even
my career. Married and have twokids and don't want to do that.
I don't know why that's such abig accomplishment, but he wants me to
do that. But like that's anexample of a dream and I go that,

(31:32):
I asked his child, I'm notgonna do And so I understand,
like your parents will have dreams andmaybe they had this vision of you like
marrying this man and I'm all thesekids like you got to give them a
moment to grieve there, like withthe idea their ideas that they have for
you, because again, they mighthave had these ideas for you before you
were even born and you're their preciouslittle daughter, like, so just give

(31:55):
them a moment to process and theyhave nothing to do with you. They
have nothing, like whatever or theirexpectations are, have nothing to do with
exactly, but they've still put thisexpectation onto you, and now they're going,
like mech said, they're gonna haveto grieve this this unrealistic version of
you that they had that really thatagain has nothing to do with you.

(32:15):
And some people never get through it. Some people some people just can't,
like I can't do it, likethey don't want to and they won't,
and you have to be okay withthat because it's your life. You have
to live your life. But hopefullythey will, hopefully they love you,
and you know they'll just be like, all right, well we love you,
yeah, we love who you are, we love you. Give us
like a month, you know,like playing your wedding if that's what you

(32:37):
want to do, but like justgive us some time to just kind of,
you know, parse through all ofthat. And if you're really concerned,
because you said your father is sickand I'm afraid this news by send
him over the edge like that,maybe you just go ahead and live your
life and just don't help them ifthat's if that's that important to you,
and if you're that afraid, becauseI know, if something happened to my
dad after I told them that I'dbe like, oh my gosh, I

(32:57):
don't kill my daddy. But alsoI'm really that sick and somebody like my
child told me that. I mean, I don't have I don't have an
issue with like the orient like anytype of orientation that my son may you
know, announce to me. Butaren't I like kind of focused on being
sick. You know what I'm saying, like like oh you gay? All

(33:20):
right, then I'll just like youknow, I just I'll just deal with
this cancer then, or I mean, I just feel like there's so much
They're also more progressive. I feellike this is a very even though this
is a Hispanic family, I cansee this absolutely happening in the South with
the black family. Yeah yeah,yeah easily. And I feel like if
they wouldn't care, Yeah, howyou either? How dare you do this?
And I have cancer and I'm sickor it's a okay, well I

(33:44):
accept you before you got I meanI don't know, like, well I've
chickencare, but you know, whatevercame first, but you could just I
do think you should rip the banditoff and just give them all the information.
I once, yeah, not onlyam I am also engaged engaged and
now I'm open for questions to askme questions. So nothing's changing about my
lifestyle. But if you have questions, because maybe the issue is, oh,

(34:05):
so now you can't have no kids, and it's like, well,
first of all, do I wantkids? And if I want kids,
like I don't know them, it'sjust a different route, right And if
I don't, then if at theheart of it is you're afraid that because
I'm gay, I can't have youknow, I can't have kids. But
if I don't want kids, thenlike, okay, here we are,
like, then there's no reason toYeah. And if that might be or

(34:28):
they might be like if they're areligious family, which I think a lot
of Hispanic families are, then theyit might be a situation I be like,
oh you're going to hell. Wellthat's between me and God, right
exactly. You ain't got nothing likethat's gonna be a God. You don't.
Don't you worry about that. God. I'm an adult now, I
can make my own decisions. Andif that's what you're worried about, maybe
you work on your own relationship withGod. Right exactly. This is like

(34:50):
it's between me a God, Sodon't worry about that. You know,
yeah, well that's yeah, sowe agree. We agree on that one.
You definitely yeah, me and begagree on them. You agree,
tell them, yeah, so tellthem Okay. So thank you Jordan Ray,
and thank you Mackenzie again for writingin your letters. And if you
have a question or problem or justyou don't want to save space to ask
a question, please email any ofyour questions to us at hello at emanistateofmind

(35:14):
dot com. So we're gonna moveon right after this break. We are
already in the second month of theyear. So I cannot believe that the
years gone by this fast, becauseI feel like twenty twenty three was like,
yeah, blinked and it was over. I know. So one of
the things that I want to challengeall of us to do this year is
to focus on creating a fresh andhealthy mindset. I feel like when I

(35:39):
was going through like my postpartum depressionera, my mindset was like negative,
and I feel like now that I'mout of it, I'm still having to
reframe my mindset about a lot ofthings, like personally, like the whole
weight issue that I've had because Iwas taking some drugs to get out to
lose more weight. And then Irealized when I stopped the drugs, I'm

(36:01):
gonna still have the problem that Ihad mindset wise that was causing me to
gain weight, because I feel likethat's how you gain weight. It's not
really what you're eating, it's whatyou're thinking that's causing you to eat.
So I told myself this, shebe I mean, I don't want to
go off on a tangent, butlike, I'm gonna say no because I'm
because with the advent of these weightloss drugs, we are learning that it's

(36:22):
not willpower. Well I think forme, I was just saying for me,
I realized that I gotta do more, Like I know that I'm not
living the healthiest life. So soit was like, Okay, Megan,
you're using this crutch, but you'renot changing nothing, okay. And that's
the part that I was like,you gotta change some stuff, okay.
And so are you still taking it? No? Okay, Well that's because

(36:42):
it was hard to get yeah,and I and then it maybe start questioning
some things about myself. And thenI came to the realization that I was
just I was I was just tryingto use it. As like crutch as
a crutch, I wasn't I wasn'tdoing the work. I was just like,
I'm gonna take these drugs. I'mgonna be fine, instead of being
like Megan, like you got herebecause of a mindset. You know,
so you need to go like youneed to fix that. Also you need

(37:06):
to do you need to work out, or you need to start eating healthier,
like you gotta be more accountable.I can accept that. I just
didn't want for you to put toomuch stress on yourself because some people like
we are worth hard, but we'relearning, like, oh, you can
take an injection, just little likesubcutaneous injection and then you got skinny.
That's not willpower. Yeah, that'sliterally like your insulin is better regulated.

(37:29):
Yeah, and that has nothing todo with like you know, you your
thinking. So I just wanted foryou to not be too hard on yourself.
Yeah, but it wasn't that groI was just trying to eat these
snacks and trying to work out.That's what like I need to do better.
Okay, okay, all right,so that's a negative mindset I'm trying
to shift. So doctor Monty,you know we're leaning on you today.
So what are some tools and strategiesyou think will help us strengthen and develop

(37:50):
a strong mental health routine for theyear ahead. Oh my god, don't
lean on me today. But okay, it's fine. We can all collectively
on me for like the next maybeten to fifteen minutes. Okay, okay,
So all right, how to overcomechallenges? I mean, obviously you

(38:12):
have to know that you have youhave to know that the challenge is exists,
right, Okay, that's number one. Yeah, Like, in order
to know there's there's a problem,you have to kind of speak it out
loud, yeah, write it down. You have to acknowledge it, because
that's really the first step, right, And then I mean I can kind
of share a little bit about whatI do. It may not work for

(38:32):
everyone, but it you know,it might sound a little bit like,
you know, but remember that rememberthat SUPI movie the Oh my god,
was that documentary The Secret? Ohyeah, girl, Okay, So I
remember at the time everybody was like, oh my god, have you seen
The Secret? Oh my god,did you watch Secret? Secret? Is

(38:52):
like it really changed my life.So I watched, I watched, you
know, I didn't really well,I didn't watch the whole thing at all.
I watched maybe the first twenty minutes, and I was like, I
remember this little boy saying, well, for me, I use a secret
mindset because I really wanted a bike. I really wanted a bike. So
what I decided to do was Idecided to get a paper route, and
then I got a paper route,and then I saved the money and then

(39:15):
I got a bike. And Iwas like, well, that's not a
secret. That's just getting intentional aboutwhat you want, how you're going to
get it exactly right. That's likeI'm like, because I was waiting,
like we're like, okay, where'sa secret, Like what is it?
And it's like, oh, sobasically, if you want, if you
want to do something, you makean intention, You set the intention,

(39:37):
and then you essentially work on right. I'm like, that ain't so essentially
that's what I do. Yeah,I mean, and I think that's what
a lot of people do, butthey don't necessarily Like if you want to
call it the secret, So soyou could sell books oprah, Okay,
you can do that, but I'mjust like, girl, I'm like anyway,

(39:58):
I'm like, this was the dumbestshit ever. And then I was
gonna say that. It was like, you know, it's one thing to
set a goal, it's another thingabout like how you're going to approach it.
Because if you have a mindset oflike, you know, these are
the things I want to do,you know whatever. I feel like there's
something that when I was in couplescounseling that the counselor said to us,

(40:19):
and he said, if there's adifference between trying versus committing. Yes,
he said, so anytime we're inhere and you're saying you're going to try,
like I'm going to try to dobetter, or I'm going to try
to like do this, like ohthese are the things that you know,
Okay, so I'm going to tryto do that, he said, no,
no, no, no, sayI am going to commit to that.
And just the just that one wordshift does change your mindset about it
because it's like I'm going to tryto lose weight. No, I'm committed

(40:43):
to losing weight right And I'm tellingyou, after I made that commitment,
I actually have started losing weight.After I stopped taking a drugs, I
started losing more weight. Oh lookat you. Because it was like I
was like, yo, it's mymindset. I need to commit to it.
What does that look like on adaily basis? Like, I'm now
on this app that, like you, it gamifies weight loss. I was
like, is it noom no girl, I'm on way the way better app.

(41:05):
I love okay, because it's likeyou put ten dollars in to walk
your five thousand steps for two weeksand you have to like log like take
a picture of your steps tracker,and if you don't do it, you
lose your money. But if youdo do it for the two weeks,
everybody they split the pot, andso the people that put their money in
you end up always making more money. It's accountability. It's accountability. And

(41:27):
I told I was missing yeah yeahyeah, and now girl, I was
like, well, I have madesix dollars just by doing my steps like
that. I was put in tendollars, you made six well sixteen,
yeah, okay, may sixteen dollarsso then you can put the money back.
But anyway, I like it becauseit's making me accountable. I'm like,
why do eat my my vegetables thatI have soceed to take a picture
of them? Like I'm about tolose twenty five dollars like, right,
I'm too cheap for that, solike I had to, but because before

(41:51):
I was trying to lose weight,I wouldn't have even sought out something that.
Yeah, because you're like, I'mtaking this little injection like it's gonna
take care everything. I understand.Okay. Now now that I've change the
mindset to be intentional, I'm like, okay, I've committed to this,
like I have to do it rightexactly. No, I understand what you
meant. Well, I understand whatyou what you mean when you said what
you said before because I was like, well, but don't be hard on

(42:13):
yourself, girl, I need tobe hard on myself. That's how I
got this way. Okay, Wellnext, well maybe, but I mean
I guess okay. So anyway,all I'm saying is, so, for
example, let's use this little boyswith the bike as example. He could
have been like, yo, Iwant a bike, and he could have
been like, I'm gonna go steala bike and then I have a bike.
Like that's not like it is aplan, but it's not the right

(42:37):
plan because you need to commit tolike you need to commit to positive thoughts
when it comes to like setting anintention so yeah, I could be like,
like I look at houses all thetime and I secretly want to build
this, like buy some land andbuild like my dream house. And I
could say, you know what,Emani, you could always start your crack
business back up, but I'm I'mnot going to do that. Instead,

(43:00):
it just so happened that I happento take another position at work, so
I'm making a little more money andthen I'm gonna save that money. So
you have to set positive intentions,like you can't be like, ah,
man, I'm in the drug game. I gotta get out of it and
not get out of it shaft alsoghost, because you're gonna end up dead
in the end. That's how italways works the movies. Also a snowfall.

(43:24):
Yes, I'm gonna get out thedope game. No you're not.
You can't get out the dope gameand sell dope. It don't work that
way. The intention is I cannotsell dope no more. Not I'm gonna
get out the dope game. I'mgonna try to get out the dope game
going. I'm going to commit togetting out of the dope game. There,
it is, there, it isokay. So but also here's the

(43:45):
thing. There's times when hey,maybe I'm saving money for this dream house
I want, but like I haveto make repairs on my house. I
can't completely get derailed by that.Like I have to be able to pivot.
And that's where ability comes into play. Like you got to be able
to like with you like, Okay, I'm taking this medication. You felt

(44:07):
like you were using it as acrutch. You're like, you know what,
I need to really commit to thismore. And so you were able
to pivot and you were like,I'm gonna stop taking this medication and I'm
going to use this app that makesme accountable. So a lot of it
is is being able to to notFirst of all, you have to be
able to be compassionate with yourself.Yeah, give yourself some grace. Yeah,

(44:30):
give yourself some grace. Which iswhat we have talked about so often
on the show. But it's reallyimportant to give yourself grace. It's important
to know that like your as youmake a plan and as you ENaC the
plan and work on the plan,you're not perfect and you're not going to
be able to always get everything right. But as long as you reach your

(44:52):
goal and you're happy. Then that'swhat matters. Sometimes you take five steps
forward to take seven steps back.But if you always end up at where
you need to be at the end, it's okay. Yeah, as long
as you keep moving forward. Yeah, Like don't like try not to put
a time frame on it, likeI need to lose fifty pounds by next

(45:12):
week. Like, first of all, it's unrealistic, it's not gonna happen.
But also it's about it's what peoplesay when they mean it's about the
journey, not the destination. Yeah, Like you really have to be into
like you know, like oh todayI did this, and today I did
that, and celebrating this victories,like the victories that you make over the
small battles instead of being like,oh my god, I didn't do this

(45:35):
by this time. Because once youput pressure on yourself, yeah, yeah,
you're gonna derail your entire plan andyou're just gonna be like negative and
then you're not gonna want to likedo it anymore. You're not gonna want
to like go on with your plananymore. What about like, how would
you say that physical health is attachedto your mental health? Oh it's very
very very very very very attached likenow like a lot of For the past

(45:58):
several years, there's been a lotto talk about, like the gut brain
axis like yea, that the faunain your digestive tract, like like the
good bacteria have like have a lotof influence over your like emotions, your
happiness, even like your your mentalhealth, but also your physical health.
Like I was watching this this Netflixspecial recently and they were talking about literally

(46:22):
like if you don't eat enough vegetables, what ends up happening is that that
fiber creates like it it the fiberhas has bacteria in it that like line
the lining of your colon, Andif you don't eat enough vegetables and fruits
and fiber, your body will startto like there won't be enough of that
lining, that bacterial lining, andyour body will start to digest the lining

(46:46):
and you'll get sick. Oh mygosh. Yeah. So it's like there's
so many things about the body thatwe don't know about. But one of
the things that I read about recentlyand I don't know too much about is
there's apparently, like mau there's likea mouth, there's bacteria in a mouth
that are equally as important and sothere's a lot of things that we're just

(47:07):
starting to know about and learn aboutthat all have to do with our overall
health. And so for some ofus, like there are people that are
bodybuilders that will be like, oh, yeah, I'm going to take all
these upments, I'm going to takethese steroids because I need to get this
look. But then like they're reallyunhealthy physically, and they're also like rage
and putting in their body. Yeah, exactly. So you have to be

(47:30):
able, like you have to beable to find the balance. And like,
look, maybe I'm using us anexample, Meg, maybe you have
this idea of like what you wouldlike your body to ultimately be like,
and maybe you know, after I'mmaking this up two years, you're like,
oh god, I didn't oop sorry, sorry Stanley Cup. Maybe after

(47:51):
two years you know, you're like, oh, I didn't get to where
I want to be. But itdoesn't mean that you stop trying. Yeah,
And also some people may find itthey got to their goal because they're
like, you know what, I'mhappy and I'm satisfied, Like this is
fine, Like I'm happy now,Like I don't need to be this ideal
that society told me I need tobe. Yeah, So it's so it's

(48:14):
that's why, like I said before, it's really important to pay attention to
like the little small victories because that'sreally what's going to kind of give you
the motivation to continue to progress asopposed to being like I need to be
skinny right now exactly, and likeand just oh please please, please,
please please please, because did youtold me You told me that before that

(48:36):
you were like you prayed to God, like, please, God made me
skinny. I did, It's like, please make me skinny. And then
I realized, no, my prayerneeds to be let me love myself wherever
I am exactly what at whatever stateI'm in, and help me to love
myself and especially you know, becauseI feel like then the depression cycle starts
and that's like, hey, ifyou have an eating issue and eat you're

(48:59):
an emotion it, then that justmakes it worse. So I had to
learn that too, because because whenthe pandemic hit and I wasn't able to
work out the way that I was, which was like every day and also
the stress of the pandemic, likeI hit like perimenopause and I didn't know
oh really, so I gained liketwenty pounds like it, Like I want

(49:20):
to say, over the first likesix months and I was like, yo,
like what is happening? But thenI was like, you know what,
I really just have to like likewhere am I? Like are you
happy? And I was like Iam happy now, like I'm happy,
and you know what, whatever ishappening, Like it wasn't because of my
eatings. My my hormones were outof whack and I just didn't have an
appetite. I'm like, this issomething else, yea. So I had

(49:43):
to go and figure that out.But I'm happy that in the middle of
all of that, I wasn't beatingmyself up like you're a failure. Ye
look look what you did, Likeyeah, like that's that's not going to
work for anyone. But also,you know, just like I was just
kind of al I sought help.I was like I need to figure this
out, Like I can't do thisby myself exactly. This is why I

(50:07):
got on this app because I realizedI need a little more accountability that I'm
not getting. Yeah, And it'sthe support and accountability that really like makes
a difference as far as like there'splanting the idea and saying like I'm going
to commit to this, but it'sthe accountability and support that's going to get
you through and get you through togetting to the goal that you want to

(50:29):
attend. And then like the therapyand counseling and you know, just talking
through some things. Also, Ifeel like it's absolutely necessary, Yeah for
everyone. Yeah, absolutely, AndI mean, look, we were just
talking about like health. If you'retrying, like I have patients and I'm
like listen, if you're trying tolose weight and you're not getting any sleep,
it is that is not gonna work. Like your body, your brain

(50:52):
has to rest like your body andyour brain have to get to it has
to be set themselves, and therehas to be a point of homemeo stasis
because if you're having physical issues andyou're not getting enough sleep, that's like
that's the first thing. If you'reeating shit and you're not sleeping, like
a nothing will happen at all.So you got to make sure that everything

(51:15):
is balanced. But it really reallystarts with like a good mindset, Like
you have to start with a positivemindset and keep it that way even when
you have even when you might backtrackor like you know, and also by
no means if this you know,if you're talking, if you're thinking about
like losing weight and diet, likeyour world's not gonna end if you eat
a donut. Like sometimes I wouldbe like, maybe my brain needs this

(51:38):
sugar. That's why I'm eating adonut, Like fuck it, Like maybe
I didn't eat enough sugar today,like like but one donut, right,
which is what I used to do, And that's not that great. So
I mean, the main thing is, you know, just you gotta come
from positivity. You gotta lead withpositivity, and then you'll get to your

(52:00):
goal. That's kind of it ina nutshell, so you know. So
okay, you guys, I hopeyou've enjoyed our deep dive segment because that's
all the time that we have fortoday. And remember that your mental health
journey is a marathon, it's nota sprint, and it's about the journey
and not the destination. Okay.So it's forever evolving, and I hope

(52:20):
you guys take the tools we discussedtoday and incorporate them into your life.
And always you can always email us, Yes, we always email us.
You can dm us if you haveany questions, like we love getting questions.
I mean, we love answering yourquestions. I love giving advice,
so like, you know, justhit us up. So in any case,
I hope that you're able to,you know, just take whatever twenty

(52:42):
twenty four throws at you and you'llbe ready to handle it. Yes.
Yeah, Well let's switch gears thenand head over to our last segment of
the show, pop Culture Diagnosis.Right after this. Oh it's my turn,
okay, So Meg, let's getinto our pop culture diagnosis for this
week. So please give our listenersa quick synopsis of Leave the World Behind

(53:05):
that's on Netflix and who will bediagnosing to that? Yes, this was
an amazing movie. Do you thoughtit was amazing? And it was like
ridiculous at the same time, okay, to the point where I had to
like go on TikTok afterwards. Iwas like what the TikTok was saying about
this? Like I'm mad? Iwas like my two hours back, okay.
So Leave the World Behind is centeredaround a family vacation that takes place

(53:27):
in Long Island, New York.Now, what seemed to be a perfect
getaway is then interrupted by two strangerstalking about there's news of a blackout well.
As the threat grows, both ofthese families must decide how to best
survive the potential crisis and attack thatis happening in the United States, all
while dealing with their own place inthe collapsing world. This movie has some

(53:51):
big name people in it. Maherschela, Ali Ethan Hawke, Kevin Bacon,
Julie Roberts, and Julia Roberts playsAmanda, who's the pessimistic mother of So.
Doctor YOUMANI, let's hear your diagnosisof the mom Amanda, do we
have to like? I hated thischaracter. I hated this character so much.

(54:12):
First I didn't hate her, andI'll tell you why I didn't hate
her. I'll tell you why.Go ahead. I disliked her from Jump
Okay, I dis liked her fromJump but girl, And they got to
that scene where she was like,let's dand to some music. I was
like, yeah, I did throwup in my mouth a little bit.
Oh God, I was like,and then God, and then okay,

(54:34):
spoiler and then maharshall, I'll gonnagive her a hug. And then he
put his head on top of herstringy hair, and I was just like,
I was like you are not.I'm like, first of all,
you're a fine black man. Thiswell, his wife was, she might
have been white. His wife wasblack. Do we see a picture?
No, but in my head she'sblack, and my head she was.

(54:57):
But then I realized, we don'tactually black, so we don't ask.
Maybe he was attracted to I don'tknow. No, no, I I
assumed honestly, I assumed that thatMahirsha Hershela Ali's character's wife was black because
their daughter was like, she wasvery pro black. She was, but
I also have seen a lot ofmixed kids like that. That's true,
that's true, I can, butyes, she probably was. Like I

(55:20):
was like, I was like,stop dancing with him, and and I'm
not gonna sit here and say thatlike I'm the best dancer because I am
not. Okay, I blame mymother in private school for that. Like
there will be no twerking going on. I have rhythm, but don't ask
me to do anything outside of mywhole country of Jamaica down. I mean,
I know, it's okay, it'sfine, I'm sorry y'all, but

(55:43):
dude, I was just like,this woman is dance less. She has
never been to a dancery she is. I was like, girl, no,
no, I was like, okay, so all right, so let's
let's talk about But there was onething that I did like about her because
as soon as my herschel Ali hisdaughter show up at the door, Yeah,

(56:04):
she was like first of all,she was like, who are y'all
and young? And then and hewas like, this is our house.
We're the we're like the airbnb owners. I didn't feel that it was a
little weird to be like, firstof all, why are you coming up
in here? Like okay, youdon't need to come in here with Well,
this is what happened. There wasa blackout, so we came over
here. Yeah. She had like, y'all can take your black asses downstairs.
That's what I'm saying, right,And then he was like, no,
like be nice, I don't know. That's strangers. I don't know,

(56:27):
and they all dressed up and ship. I was like, yeah,
you gotta say your asses downstairs,That's what I'm saying. And he was
a little too lenient. Yes,especially y'all have like a twelve year old
daughter and then you're letting people inthis house. I would be on higre
alerts but also that whole big assship that just kept going. It came
on everybody. Yeah, so Iwould definitely be on high alert, like

(56:51):
I'm sorry, I'm right, likethere's too much going on, all right,
But Amanda, definitely she struck meas like like a white liberal woman
who is someone who you know,like and this is a lot of assumption
for me, but I mean Ihave a lot of experience with this,
but she struck me as like awhite liberal woman living in a coastal city

(57:15):
who is very into feminism, butwhite feminism, yeah right, like not
into intersectional feminism, not into feminisminvolving like other races, other sexual orientations,
other or a gender designation. LikeI was just like, I don't
like this bitch at all. Okay, So and she struck me as you

(57:37):
know, like she did strike meas appropriately anxious when these strangers come to
the house. Yeah, that Idid appreciate it. So that was cool.
But I just really, I guessbecause I really like the daughter.
I like Maharsha Mahershela Ali's character's daughtera lot, and how she was just
like, anyway, you are whackas fuck, and I don't give a

(57:59):
funck this is my house and youup in here trying to tell me what
to do, bitch, you canget the fuck on. But I liked
it because, you know what,they were very similar in that way.
But they were both the same butin a different kind of way. But
they still both had that like anot trusting Oh they did know because the
black girl was right and Julia Robertswas wrong. I'm I'm not to say

(58:22):
that. I'm saying that's one ofthe one of the things that I appreciate
about this is because their characters werevery similar in that way, not about
like who's right or who's wrong.I'm saying they were both very headstrong with
how they they ever had strong andJulia Robinson was wrong. She was she
was she was wrong as hell.I'm gonna say that I was. I
liked that because it wasn't No.Neither one of them were pushovers. And
I feel like at the end ofthe world, at the in an apocalypse,

(58:44):
you need people who are going tomake decisions and who are not going
to be pushovers. You're talking aboutlike survival, you do. But I
also feel like, okay, sothis is where I will get down to
the the diagnos of Amanda. Ithink that Amanda Deaf only has anxiety,
a lot of anxiety. Yeah,but she definitely strikes me as somebody who

(59:05):
is probably like easily upset by likereading the news. Yeah you know what
I mean, like like oh mygod, did you hear what's happening?
Yeah? You know, like likethat like that type of anxiety, so
which you know, which in anapocalyptic scenario could work, but they also

(59:27):
come from a place of fear alot, and so I don't always trust
people in those types of life ordeath situations with making good decisions because a
lot of it is emotional, right, which which makes sense. Yeah,
I mean we're all going to beemotional, but it's like I need for
you to bring it down and youknow what, how about this, how
about I'll make the decisions. Yeah, as the as the black girl I've

(59:51):
now assigned myself to in the movie. So yeah, I mean, a
man is whild anxious. I justI don't know, I just she just
she just really seemed to me likelike like a like a Brooklyn Karen.
Yeah, I can see that.And I was I was like, I'm
not I'm not fucking this character.I don't want to do, like their
daughter that just wanted to watch Friendsthe whole time. Yeah, I was

(01:00:15):
like, what do you care about? None of it is dumb ass up.
You just want to see what happenedin the season finale of Friends.
I was like, Friends ain't evennot good. I mean, I know
the white people. Friends is likeever fucking cheers. It's like there,
it's like everything. But I'm like, yeah, we had Living Single,
So I don't you know what thatwas you if you were the kid and

(01:00:36):
you wanted to see the season finaleof Living Single, I mean it's like,
well, you gotta be realistic,like you saw that boat yesterday,
Like you're talking about, well youtalking about want to watch some Friends?
Girl. I feel like they didn'tdo a good enough job of being like,
look, it's we don't know what'sgoing on, so you just gonna
have to be okay. And Ithink, and then I thought about it,
I was like, oh my gosh, these kids don't know what it's

(01:00:57):
like to live without it. No, no, I see, I see
why it was so unfascintab there's nowi fi. What does that mean?
It's like, what it means isthat you're gonna have to do a puzzle
or someone don't understand, like,what what is that? Is it a
puzzle on my app right? Exactly, exactly. No, The Daughter was

(01:01:17):
just I did like her character,but I don't like because that story just
seemed kind of like an allegory andthat story. I think the reason why
I really like The Black Daughter isbecause that this movie was produced by the
Obamas, right, and so thethere was there was one particular scene where

(01:01:39):
the black girl was with her dadand she said, she said, well
look, she was like, youknow, she was like, no matter
what, you cannot trust these whitepeople. Yeah, egg exactly, and
now it's the apocalypse and we gottadeal with them. I'm like, you
need to kick these motherfuckers out yourhouse, That's what I'm and be like,
I guess you're just gonna have tomake your way back to Brooklyn to
your like brown on the whether ifI y'll live back, because you you

(01:02:01):
know, absolutely not. I justI just this movie just got on my
nerves. Anyway. Amanda has anxiety, she has generalized anxiety disorder, but
overall she distracts me as like ahuge Karen, and I just don't want
I can't walk with her. Soanyway, that's it for our deep dive.

(01:02:22):
I wish it was more exciting thanthat. I mean, it's a
good movie. If you haven't watchedit, at least just watch it.
It's good to watch. Yeah,because, to be honest with you,
I think something like that's really gonnahappen. So that's a whole nother story
for another day. Well it might, but in the meantime, I just
hope that Amanda isn't anywhere near mebecause I'm like, I can't, I
can't. I just be like,you know what, I'm gonna lock my
door. I got all my food, y'all cannot have none, So good

(01:02:45):
bye. Anyway, that's it fora pop culture diagnosis. I hope you
guys enjoyed it, and we're gonnahave another fun character to analyze next week.
So if you have any character suggestionsthat you would like for me to
diagnose, please hit me up onTwitter at doctor Underscore Emani, hit meg
up on Instagram at Meg scoop Allone word, or email us Atdiemani State

(01:03:05):
of Mind, excuse me at Helloeddiemonistatedmind dot com. And if you love
the show, please rate and reviewus on your favorite podcast. Please yes,
please do, or if you're watchingus on YouTube, like this video,
comment and subscribe to our channel.We appreciate you, we love you.
We thank you so much for joiningus. Yes, why am I
looking at the camera when there's nomore video? See you later, Bye

(01:03:30):
bye, guys.