September 15, 2023 • 45 mins
Truth? Your wellness journey has been fueling a billion-dollar industry. It's time to embrace the idea of wholeness and go deeper in our exploration of self. Join Dr. Imani and Meg Scoop as they uncover the truth behind deceptive practices and explore ways we can all embrace wholeness. For this week's pop culture diagnosis, they delve into Douda from Lena Waithe's show 'The Chi.'
If you'd like to submit a listener letter of your own, please email us at hello@imanistateofmind.com.
If you'd like to submit a listener letter of your own, please email us at hello@imanistateofmind.com.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:14):
Hi, everybody. Welcome between Monty, State of Mine. I am doctor
Eman and I am next Scoop one. I'm good, I'm good. We
both ravishing today, but well I'malways ravishing. Well. Thank you.
I love this top you have.We have our little cutouts. I'm knowing
our little cutout showing a little hoochieskin. I know, like I'm trying
to guess something, so I haveto like roll my shoulder. Now wait
(00:38):
did you get his hand? Youlook like I've been in the Bahamas or
something. I've been in my backyardthat's close to the Bahamas. Yeah,
I've been. I've been in mybackyard. Yeah. That that's I've been
in my backyard. That's pretty muchit. Me and Peter did just come
back like literally hours ago from JoshuaTree from the desert and it was so
nice. Wait, did you guysdo it like a yurt or like a
(01:00):
tent and what did you do?No, we were in a house like
this house. It was an airbnb. So this house had like a pool,
it had like a container bar,like like they built a bar into
like one of those container like itwas so cool. So like you just
opened it up and it was likeboom, there's your drinks, there's your
(01:22):
stools, there's like there's like yourI mean everything. It was. It
was so I'll show you pictures likelater. It was so dope. So
we went because Peter turned fifty yeayay, which is really I know,
her birthday. So that was thatwas really fun and so we we went.
We just came back from Josha Treetoday and then outside of that,
(01:44):
we went to Vegas two weeks ago. Up. Okay, I'm trying to
get on this level. Well it'snot even I mean, keep in mind
when we went to Vegas, itwas basically he was there for his best
friend's bachelor party, and I justkind of tagged along, wait to the
party or just to the track,just to the trap, okay, I
want to say. I was like, really I almost went, and Peter
(02:06):
was like, you can stay herebecause they went to they went to I
think like the r r MGM,like this pool party, and I was
like, okay, I'm ready andhe was like okay, now yeah.
I was like that's fine. I'mabout to watch Law and Order and get
some Postmates and go to sleep andthis is gonna be dope. But really
Vegas was more fun this time aroundfor me because we did like a lot
of stuff off the trip. Ohyeah, that's what you got. Yeah,
(02:29):
because the strip is cool, butit's like I wanted, like we
got massages. We got a couple'smassage and we drove twenty minutes to get
it. But on the strip,a basic massage for one is like three
hundred like three hundred plus, rightdollars worth it. I was like,
y'all gonna have to They're better belike, I don't want a happy ending,
but like y'all got a buffet orsomething like something. I was just
(02:52):
like this is not yeah, likethis is a little bit expensive for me,
but it was. I mean,yeah, so we've basically a month
of travel and that's been really fine. Yeah yeah, So what's up with
you girl? I've been homeschooling.This is my second week. Okay,
(03:13):
you've been homeschooling your son? Whatgreat is your son is? He's a
kider garden. He's a kindergarten.Okay, And so what was the like
cause okay, so the first I'lllet me just say I'm not one of
those parents that's like, you know, like okay, maybe you know there's
people that are just like, oh, I love my kids everything. I
love my kids. Yeah, y'allcan go somewhere, right, you know
(03:36):
what I'm saying, Like, y'allcould go to school. Yeah. So
what happened was my son is hemissed the birthday cut off by a month.
Oh my god, it's that Georgia. It's like, yeah, and
they're very strict about that. Theywon't let you test into kindergarten even if
you're like smart enough Andy, andhe definitely is. And I would have
considered letting him do another year ofpre case so he'd be like the oldest
(03:57):
kid in the class. Yeah,but I don't like that. I don't
either, because he he's He wasthe one I actually put him in a
class where he was with his peerspeers. He was like, Mommy,
that's a baby class. And Iwas like, Oh, I have to
get you out because they're gonna startlabeling you because you're gonna be bored.
Exactly. He's very chatty already.So I was like, you know what,
I'm I'm not gonna do that tomy baby. I'll just go ahead
and take and take this ill rightat homeschool. You for at least this
(04:20):
year. Yeah, and we'll see. You know, they don't care about
it as much in first grade,but kindergartens for sure. That also,
like when when me and my parentsmoved from New York to Texas when I
was four, it was a itwas a thing there too, like like
they were like, oh, well, she was born after the cutoff in
(04:40):
August and my birthday is December thirtieth, and so my mom was like,
okay, we're gonna go. Sowe went to the superintendent's office. He
made her like or she made himrather like get like some psychological book and
just had She was like, look, Emmie's she doesn't She's not gonna be
able to understand the words. Shecan read it, yeah, and she
was So I read it and Iwas like okay, And the same way
(05:03):
I was like this like they putme in a class and I was like,
this is boring, and they keepasking me to spell like the thh
She's like. I was like,I already know how to how to read,
like this is stupid, and hecan read already. So I was
like, how so I would feelso bad with having to make him do
precake again and he's literally reading abook right exactly. Yeah, I don't
(05:24):
like, can't do this, Wecan't do this. So, yes,
we're homeschooling. Okay. The firstday I was like I need that your
rank. Yeah. Several drinks itwas. It's just overwhelming because A,
you know, I got the tigermoms side of me, and I don't
want him to like, I don'twant him to be dumb because of me.
Girl, he's not dumb if hecan read. And those kids are
(05:45):
like, well I don't know,then like you you're doing a great job.
I just I'm like, oh mygod, but maybe not gonna know
nothing because of me that I'm That'smy fear, and so I battle with
that. Plus also being like,okay, is he engaged enough? Am
I doing this right? Is heenjoying it? Because he's a very social
kid. So I just make surewe have a lot of like we joined
the actually this wonderful homeschool collective basicallyof like other moms and families with homeschool
(06:10):
kids, and they meet once aweek like in a physical classroom, so
he has that interaction and then acouple of times a month we do uh
field trips okay, so he hasthat and they're like and it's like a
black Bible based on so it's like, okay, well you know what.
I actually I'm cool with this becauseI listen and it's it's kind of a
drive for me. But I lookedat the homeschool collectives in my area and
(06:32):
I was like, no black kids. I was like, okay, right,
all right, we already got himin baseball and his partner. It's
gonna be Tofer and Cooper and Braylanwith a y and two ends and girl,
it's gonna be often to me,you know. So yeah, So
so hopefully the balance of like okay, he's in sports, he's doing all
these activities, plus the co oplike gonna be enough for him socially.
(06:55):
That's good. Yeah, it's alot. And it is because you were
also like expecting to be like,Okay, I'm gonna be able to drop
you off somewhere right and and beforeI could do that, and like,
okay, so now I have thingsthat I can get done, but I
think what I'm gonna do is now, and plus it's still got the baby,
plus it's still work. So allof this put together, I was
like, somebody gotta leave. SoI think the baby's go I kick her
(07:17):
out. I gotta put her intoschool. So yeah, she's on her
way out. Yeah I love you, Millie, but she's on her way
Millie. Oh she's enough to sayno and mine. And I was like,
okay, it's time. Yeah youcan go. You can go like
like your toys in school, soexactly. Yeah. Yeah, but I
mean listen, I I understand.I know that. It was definitely a
(07:40):
thing with my parents. Like mymom was just like, you're not holding
her back and look at you now, girl, look at me now.
Yes, okay, you're giving mesome motivation and yeah. Well plus like
I mean, they wanted to holdme back. And that's a thing I
know in the South for like sports, like they like to hold kids back.
Yeah, because they want them tobe bigger and like more I guess
(08:03):
more developed when it comes to sports, so they're better just kids. It
just sounds like when it comes toblack kids, it just sounds like hello
racist. See I'm just like no, because I graduated from from high school
at seventeen, right, And I'mjust like, why are y'all so afraid
that, like, yeah, justbecause y'all's kids are dumb? Does not
mean that like our kids are dumb. Like just because y'all's kids are like
(08:24):
four years old and like, youknow, still bumping into walls and rolling
around the floor does not mean ourkids can't like literally be like pitatric clothes.
Duda, he takes his own showers, Like, yeah, supervision,
but you know he can do alot of So I'm like, let's just
go ahead and go for this kindergartenthings. Exactly. No, that's that's
good. This time next to you, right how it is exactly. Hopefully
(08:50):
I don't develop no like drinking habitsfrom this. Yeah, this is a
lot. Okay, No, that'sfunny. I've actually been drinking a bit
more myself, like what kind ofdrinks, like apparently, like I really
like Bloody Marys, and I reallyI do. I love Bloody Maries and
I love micheladas, which is somethingthat I learned about when I moved to
La and uh Madelo, which isnow the number one beer in the country.
(09:16):
Big up Madelo and not Budweiser,even though it was kind of messed
up what happened to Budweiser as faras like them receiving all this pushback for
just for like promoting a trans likeInstagram. Yeah, but so Madelo makes
these micheladas or cheladas like in acan. So it is, I mean
(09:37):
it is so. I mean Ilove them, and we went when me
and Peter went to Vegas. Theyhave like tihen ones. They have ones
with mango. I haven't tried thatone, ones with pineapple. I just
get the regular basic one. SoI was. I drank like two of
those last night in the desert,like they were so good. They were
so good. So I've been drinkinga little bit more in an attempt to
(10:00):
get to my wholeness and not wellness, which is actually a little early dive
into our deep dive discussion today.Yeah, because to me they sound same.
Okay, they both start with wnN with ness ye basically to basically
so, I mean, because thething about it is, so today's deep
dive, we're gonna be talking aboutwholeness, right. So I tend to
(10:24):
think that I have my wellness routinedownpad like I work out, I tend
to my garden, I drink mywater. I'm my my business for the
most part, because it's kind ofhard in mind your business when you have
social media, and you can belike, right, that's gross or oh
I like that. So in anycase, today's Today's deep dive is actually
(10:46):
going to be about wholeness versus wellness. And that's because I've read this Oprah
Daily article recently and it had methinking about how I need to shift my
focus away from wellness because the articlesaid essentially that as a society, we've
turned the search for wellness into anunhealthy obsession. Yeah, and I can
see that, yeah, and itscauses more stressed than good. So it
(11:09):
also went on to say that insteadof focusing on wellness, we need to
shift to discovering the concept of wholeness. And after reading the article, I
immediately texted Meg that we need totake a deep dive into this concept.
So today we're gonna take a deepdive into the concept of wellness versus wholeness.
And and that wholeness goes far beyondwhat's typically labeled as wellness, which
(11:31):
is now like a billion dollars industry. And that word that's a buzzword right
now, yeah, yeah, wellness, wellness, wellness. Yeah. So,
if you guys are loving the show, let us know by rating the
show on your favorite podcast app.Yeah, so, Meg, We're going
to go to one of our Iguess one of our favorite topics of our
favorite section. We have a favoritesection of the show. We're going to
(11:54):
read your letters that you guys wrotein to ask doctor Imani and Meg anything.
They were really good this week,so let's let's get to it.
It's time for astocremoney anything. SoMeg, who is our first letter from
today? Well, actually it's frompage Hey girl, and she writes this
(12:15):
summer, I think I have developedseasonal depression. I'm in my struggle season.
I am in between jobs, somy money isn't where it needs to
be to do what I want todo this summer. Now. I'm an
extremely social person who loves to sociallydrink and smoke, but due to my
current bank account, I am inthe house. I'm not a person who
can just sit in the house asI see my friends outside. Ladies.
(12:37):
If Fomo was a person, itwould be a girl. I've become a
really moody, sad, and borderlinehater. When my friends call me to
tell me there's summer plans or adventures. My parents said, I just need
to grow up. And this ispart of adulting, but that advice isn't
helping me with this inside the housedepression. The way this job search is
going, I am going to bein the house for a while and need
(12:58):
to shift this negative energy. Whatare some things you think will help me
get my mind right and switch themood I'm in. Okay, So,
Paige, I love how you putyour glasses on for this se Oh yeah,
no, I was like I hadright, Like, okay, so
I'm being a diary like professional now. So okay, so page here's the
thing. Why, Like I understandthat you ain't you know, you ain't
(13:24):
really flush with cash right now,and you're trying to you know, basically
just page yourself. But why whyare you stuck in the house. Like
there's a lot of stuff you cando for free. That is very true.
You can just google stuff to dofor free near me. Yeah,
a bunch of shit because guess whatsince I've done it, okay me,
So it's there's there's so much,right, I'm like, girl, go
(13:46):
outside, right who and also likejust just just to lay it on a
little bit thicker page. I'm sorry, but your parents are also right,
Yeah, Like there's gonna come timesin your life when you just gonna have
to save up for some shit,you're gonna be like, right, everybody,
it's not ball out season every year, right, But I don't know.
Actually, pretty much everybody I know, even the richest of the richest
(14:09):
people I don't know, have hadtheir moments where they're like, yeah,
I'm gonna have to say yeah,right now, right, I have to,
like, right, I gotta likefall back a little bit. I
mean, I will say that,yes, I do smoke weed every day,
but that's kind of like a newishthing as far as like how much
money I have and what I candevote to that. But yeah, there
(14:33):
were lots of times when I couldn'tsmoke every day. Yeah I couldn't.
I mean, but that and andhonestly, that's when it's like, Okay,
I'm gonna go kick it at myfriend's house who I know has weed,
and so I'm just gonna hope thatthey smoke or I'm just gonna go
over to my friend's house and kickit, like I guess, I don't
know where you live, Paige.And I also understand that you said you're
(14:54):
a social person, but you canbe social. And now it's like yeah,
you can be social. What elseis crazy? Like because it sounds
she sounds a little bit younger.She says, she's her parents adulting.
They're like teaching her this. SoI'm assuming pages like early twenties, right,
yeah, so if that's the case, page, like, you can
still go to the club for free, like before eleven o'clock. Okay,
it's right, and myself, right, you better sign them for the RSVP,
(15:18):
get in there before let it andthen wait for your friends to come.
Right, you're a girl, you'reprobably cute. Get some guys to
buy you a drink like this islike, yeah, this is broke girl
one on one, right, thisis I've been there plenty. Okay,
we go pay for nothing, youknow, ride with somebody to the club.
Make sure you'll get there free beforeeleven. There's so many things to
(15:39):
do. Also, you're also justi mean just again broke gral one on
one. You know, you cango to the corner store, like okay,
first of all, head, youcan go to the corner store.
You can get you some little miniliquor ball yes a dollar each, yeah,
and then you just make your littledrink and then you put them in
(16:00):
your purse. Yeah, you goingto a club where they check your purse.
There's these little things you can getfrom like Spencers or whatever. You
can order it on Amazon, I'msure. And they look like tampons.
Say, you pour your shot inthere and you put it back in the
little it's like a it's like alittle plastic vial. But you put it
in it's like a tampon cover.Girl, and you put in your purse.
They not gonna know, They're gonnabe like tampon. Right, and
(16:22):
here you are with like five tamponsand a girl you're throwing shots back.
Okay, you just pull it outthe little tampon cover and then it's it
looks like a little what is itlike a little like an applicator. No,
it doesn't even look like it's literallyjust the outside of it looks like
a tampa. But when you pullit out, it's like a plastic It's
this. I've seen them in theclub already, Like I've seen the bottom
girls walk around with these long,like skinny plastic things with like the top
(16:45):
on it, and they serve itthere anyway, So now you got it,
look like you got it from theclub, so right, So page.
In any case, Okay, youyou need to like literally you need
to google free stuff that's near meand broke all one on one or know,
go and find the hashtag bro girland and be okay with it not
being your season. Okay, it'sokay. This is your season to build
(17:07):
and there's probably some other things youcan work on in life if you're so
concerned with everybody else doing their things, because maybe that's a lesson you need
to learn because it's not always goingto be your turn, and you have
to learn to celebrate other people whenit's their turn. Yes, my friends
are having a blast. I loveit. I can't do that right now,
but I will, Like that's thekind of mindset you need, so
exactly. Yeah, you gotta fixthat girl. Yeah. I mean I
(17:30):
think with experience and with age,like you'll learn that not everything is for
you. Like there's there's a seasonthere. There there's always a season,
and like Mex said, this isjust not your season. I went to
I went to these outlet stores earliertoday because I had to charge my car,
and I was like, oh mygod, look at all this be
(17:51):
less y'all got and Gucci and andit's it was cute, but it was
like, Imani, do you needit? No, you don't, you
know, I'm like, you havethat bag, you don't need that bag.
You don't need those shoes. Iwas like, oh, look those
been on Tiaka sninkers, like thosewould be those would be so cute.
And then when they're like that'll belike four hundred dollars, I'm gonna be
like no, like no, right, right, right, It's fine.
I'll get some knockoffs off Amazon orsomething. I don't care. But but
(18:12):
anyway, Page, I think atthe very most, you're probably suffering from
what's called adjustment disorder, which isessentially things have changed and you are having
a hard time adjusting to it.Yeah. I haven't heard anything in your
letter that specifically sounds like you're dealingwith clinical depression or seasonal depression. Yeah,
(18:37):
but it's summertime, so she's tryingto say, girl, you know
you just broke for right now,you need to be okay with that.
Right, I'm not going shopping becauseI have stuff I have to pay for.
Yeah, I don't need more stuff. So it's fine, Paide,
You're gonna be okay. You willbe okay. You'd be okay and let
us know what fun free things andwhat nifty tricks you have come up with
(18:57):
to have a good time, becausethere's so much I know you should be
out here like celebrating yourself, Sodo that. Yes, yay, okay.
Our next letter comes from a listenerby the name of Kat. She
says, dear Doctory, Monny,and Meg, my life has officially turned
into your next Netflix movie. Letme start by saying, I am living
(19:18):
in my act bad moment. Iam fresh out of a bad breakup and
haven't been single in five years,so I am having fun and embracing my
host stage until now. I havemy first one night stand over the weekend
and the sex was good, likereally good. But get this, I
am a nanny and started with anew family on Monday. I think you
(19:41):
know where this is going. Myone night stand with the Good d answers
the effing door. He is thehusband slash dad of my new family.
He whispered to me that he wouldpay me double to not mention what happened
this weekend, and I just froze. I ended up faking a stomach bug
to leave early and take the restof the week off. The husband keeps
(20:02):
panically texting me to come back andwork so his wife doesn't begin to wonder
what's up with me. So I'mconflicted. The city girl in me is
like, Okay, take his slushmoney and the nanny salary and live that
good life. But the good girlin me is like, nah, girl,
you're gonna have to quit and finda new family to nanny for.
What do you think I should do? I am torn and literally whatever advice
(20:22):
you tell me is the way Iam going to play this out. Okay,
alright, kat okay, So catgirl, look, I am I'm
definitely someone who is not really into, like buying into the capitalistic kind of
(20:44):
morais that our society has forced uponus. I mean, obviously we need
money to eat and pay our bills. But let me tell you something,
at the end of the day,if it's between less money and more money,
girl, you better get your money. Get your money. Like though,
I mean, okay, here's thething. You didn't know, Like
you had no idea this man wasmarried. Now here he is, and
(21:06):
I kind of feel like, Imean, you you're gonna have to have
like a very you know, quickconversation with this man and be like,
Okay, if you're gonna pay medouble, that's fine, but I need
to know that your wife isn't gonnabe like, oh my god, why
is this nanny getting paid twice asmuch? You know what. I'm like,
I'm like, get your money,but at the same time you probably
(21:26):
will get busted. That's exactly whatI was gonna say. Yeah, it's
one thing to be like okay,Like to me, the truth always comes
out, especially when you're dealing withthe man that has to like keep things
hidden because men aren't good at thatgirl. Okay, he's gonna slip up
some way shape or fashion. He'sgonna end up leaving at text on his
(21:47):
phone of him telling you, hey, you know, don't tell my wife.
And then now she's looking at yousideways like you did something wrong because
again you didn't know. Was ityour fault? You didn't know this man
was married. Closed your legs andmarried man, right, but you didn't
know. Oh you did know,And so now she's looking at you sideways
because it's like, oh, nowI realize you knew, and you still
came to work for us, Likeonce you found that out, you should
(22:07):
have left, right, and hesome way, shape or fashion. He's
gonna slip up, whether it's heaccidentally takes some money out of their joint
account one time to pay you,Like if something's gonna happen, something's gonna
happen, something's gonna happen. Okay, so I would just leave. I
don't think it's worth it at theend of the day, Like, Okay,
you could get this extra money,but then if stuff goes sideways,
(22:30):
then now you you potentially have somebodybad mouthing you when again you didn't know.
The mom could be going on socialmedia telling everybody not to hire you
if they had right and if theyfound you on a nanny site, she
can go report you on the nannysite. Now you can't be a nanny
anywhere, Like I just don't thinkit's worth it. Yeah, and then
you gotta deal with that, likewhat if you're a nanny like Monday through
(22:52):
Friday, and then you have todeal with that every single day on your
job. Yeah. And then youalso was like it was good. So
you might have your little moments whenyou in heat and you're looking at him
like girl and heat, she's nota cat. Cattle might be in heat
and you see mister good d overthere playing with the kids. You might
(23:12):
want to revisit. So let's justget out of this. It's such as
messy situation. Just run, girl, Ron. So I'm trying to think
of another way that you can kindof work this angle. Page, Like,
I mean, excuse me, not, Paige. I'm trying to think
of another angle that you can workthis cat. And I think that I
don't know, you might have tolike do some low key blackmail and be
(23:33):
like be like, hey, youknow I can't work for you, but
I can keep this quiet if yougive me this much money, right and
until I get my next job exactly, get something to hold me out there.
But yeah, yeah, because ifhe's like, oh, okay,
you double, it's like, oh, well, if you're willing to pay
me double, then I I mean, I know you got some hush money,
so I mean give me that youthe dangerous game. But what if
(23:56):
he's like a dangerous person. Imean, I don't know. I'm just
like, girl, get your money, because I want to end up like
Page talking about oh I can't leavethe house. Well, sometimes the juice
ain't worth the squeeze, Okay,you know, I know I know I'm
kind of trife, but I mean, but I'm just kind of like,
you know what, get get yourmoney, but legit, like you can't
(24:17):
work for these people long terms,so you might want to be like I
can do this for like two weeksor a month so that you know,
so that you don't end up gettingbusted. Because that is Yeah, that's
that's very that's that's very that's verydramatic. Yeah, that's a lot of
drama. But you know, Cat, let us know because I guess we
(24:38):
kind of told you, like tryto get your money, but at the
end of the day you probably shouldjust mounce yeah. Yeah, but I'm
but like I'm like fifty one percentget your money forty nine percent, like
you should probably a mounce yeah,and also try to get like, you
know, so much money out ofman. So anyway, thank you Paige
and thank you Kat for submitting yourquestions. I hope we were able to
(24:59):
help and please let us know howit goes. Yes, please keep your
letters coming. We love them.If you have a problem, a question,
or you just want to get somethingoff your chest, please hit us
up, email us at hello atimani state of mind dot com. Okay,
(25:29):
doctor your money. Let's switch gearsand get into our deep die for
today, because earlier you said wholenessis not wellness, and I said they
both start with W and they endin nest. So you're gonna have to
tell me the difference. Okay,let's get into it. Okay, how
they impact our mental health? Okay? All right. So first of all,
wellness is a relatively new term.It's I would I mean, I
(25:55):
personally didn't start hearing it until maybeI don't know, ten years ago,
but I guess it's as like Googlehistory, it's been about two decades that
wellness came to be a recognized termor word or whatever the way I kind
of see it being used now asfar as like on social media, it's
(26:15):
like a lot of people, youknow, like like it's definitely kind of
been incorporated into soft life because Iknow that we're both very much like Soft
Life ladies. Yeah, but wellnessit's it's almost kind of like a target,
like the way that it's presented online, like it's something that you can
hack, like if you if youdrink alkaline water, then you're contribute to
(26:37):
your wellness, and wellness is somethingthat is now like a billion dollar business
like it, wellness outpaces pharmaceutical likeglobal pharmaceutical sales, yes, yeah,
by billions. Yeah, because wellnesscan include like, oh, I'm gonna
(26:57):
roll this cold of whatever on yourface, and then after that, I'm
gonna like go get a smoothie andI'm gonna hack it by putting these specific
powders into it, and then likewellness honestly, from what I've seen,
seems to be like a like likea short term destination, okay, whereas
(27:21):
wholeness is really about like wholeness reallylike kind of leaves you with with what
we call in psychiatry being like goaloriented or future oriented. So being goal
oriented and future oriented are usually usedto talk about people who may be super
depressed and possibly have like suicidal thoughtsbecause you can engage. I mean,
(27:45):
this is this is like let mejust play Devil's Advocate. You can you
could potentially kill yourself tomorrow but stillparticipate in wellness today, meaning you could
drink you drink my powders, drinkright, you can do all that,
right, but it's not going tonecessarily bring you to wholeness because if you
(28:08):
because if you're thinking about like yeah, I'm gonna end this all tomorrow.
Then you're not a whole person.You are participating in wellness and the wellness
industry, but you're not contributing towholeness for yourself. Like it's what is
the future, what makes you whole? There are a lot of things that
make us whole. So here's thething when it comes to wellness. A
(28:33):
lot of people, girl, Iknow you've we've all seen these things like
oh, if you, if you, if you, what do you call
it? Tag your friend on thispost and you put up this hashtag,
then you'll get five hundred dollars tomorrow. That's like what that's like? I
mean that's really like basic wellness,like basic people. So it's kind of
(28:56):
like like oh, I'm going tobe positive today or I'm gonna be really
mindful. I'm going to you know, make sure that like my day has
meaning, whereas wholeness is like okay, how is my energy? Like energy
is something you have to work onday to day, Like if your balance
today, are you going to bebalanced tomorrow? Like maybe maybe not?
(29:18):
Also, like what is your likewhat is what is your environment? Like?
Like is your environment like is itare you are you good at staying
present? Are you, you know, not good at staying present? If
you're good at staying present and justbeing in the moment, that is more
so contributing to wholeness because being inthe moment allows you to not be anxious.
(29:40):
It allows you to and a lotof anxiety is based upon what if
this happens in the future, Butbeing present is like, Okay, I'm
fine with the way things are rightnow, and I'm just gonna live moment
to moment because that's going to bettercontribute to my wholeness now and in the
future. Also being of service toother people, Like that's a really big
(30:03):
part of wholeness that really isn't stressedin wellness. Yeah, Like wellness seems
to be a very like a verylike self fishy thing. Like you can
you can look, you can ruball kinds of stuff in your skin,
and you can take yourself on vacationby yourself, and you can do all
(30:23):
kinds of things. But if you'renot comfortable with yourself, then you're not
going to be contributing really to wholeness. Okay, yeah, okay, I'm
starting to get it. Yeah,And then another issue that I've kind of
seen expressed with wellness is like Ilike in this country, let's say we
don't have rituals and traditions that wecan say, okay, like culturally we
(30:48):
all like to do ayur Veda orwe all like to I don't know,
like burn stage in the house.These are all things that we've borrowed from
other cultures. Yoga is truly Indian. Yeah, but you would know looking
online, it's like a whole bunchof like, you know, thin white
girls and anybody can do yoga.You can be any size and do yoga.
(31:11):
But looking at social media, itwill have you believe that like oh
you got to be skinny, andlike that's not what it's about. And
really we've we've borrowed a lot ofthese things from other cultures, and we've
borrow a lot of things from othercultures. Many of these other cultures they've
been like displaced, Like these areindigenous people who did who who have certain
(31:34):
traditions, and we basically took themand then it was like okay, sure,
over the course of your day,like rub your face with this cold
jade stone because that's what they doin China. Meanwhile, it could be
like I do not know, butlike that could also be a part of
like a larger like wholeness practice.Yeah, and we're just kind of,
(31:56):
you know, picking and choosing whatwe want to kind of fit into to
what can be commodified. So,like I talked a little while ago about
like how wellness is a billion dollarglobal industry. Like you, if I
go to the store right now andtry to get some water, I can
get alkaline water. I can getwater with electrolytes. I can get water
with charcoal in it. I canget Yeah, I can get water that
(32:20):
tastes like melon but has like karanain it or something, so it's like
it's like caffeine water. Like thereare so many ways that we've commodified wellness
that again it's like how can Ihack this? Like all these like super
like rich people, like billionaires,they're trying to like develop these space programs
and like so they can fly outof here, yeah, or like they'll
(32:43):
or like apparently I read this articlerecently how the super rich, like the
super wealthy, are trying to seeif they can upload like their thoughts,
their consciousness so that when they die, they'll like people can still talk to
them, like they're trying to beimmortal, and that's still like that's just
(33:04):
a commodification. It's like when peopledie, they die. Yeah. It's
almost like like wellness is very surfaceand wholeness goes much deeper. Exactly exactly.
Wellness is well you know what.I hate to use this as an
example, but I'm gonna use pageright, Like the person who just wrote
in a letter earlier, she's shewas like, I cannot go outside because
(33:27):
I do not have money like thatright now? Yeah. Where And that's
kind of like, in a verysimplistic way, a wellness mindset, whereas
a wholeness mindset is like what wewere saying, like girl, go outside,
Yeah, go find free stuff todo, like be present, Like
don't hate on your friends because theycan do stuff and you can. We
all have ebbs and flows. Andit's not just because your money isn't where
(33:50):
it needs to be. And likewe were talking about, like you can
have money and you might need tosave for a house, so you can't
really like you know, spend moneylike that. It's more about what is
what is the not necessarily what thedestination is, but like where where's the
what is the next step? Forme. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
you know, instead of comparing yourselfto other people. Yeah, it seems
(34:14):
like much deeper. Even for example, like Okay, wellness might be let's
see, I don't know. Thatdoesn't work. I'm trying to think.
I'm trying to make this make senseon a very simple term. Okay,
so wellness might be. I wantto say I want to use my money
(34:35):
to go, like get a massage, because you know, my back hurts,
right, but I feel like wholeness. You might be like, oh,
well, maybe I'll save that money. My back hurts, but like
it's manageable. I may want tosave the money because I'm building something bigger
in my life. Like let's say, for example, like you said house,
I want to build a house becauseI want to leave a legacy to
my family and you know, providea home and stability and like, to
(34:57):
me, that's a bigger picture thathas a little more lasting effects. Whereas
like you get a massage, likeyou get for a little bit if you
have chronic back pain, it's justgonna help you for a little while.
Yeah, it's kind of like Ilove getting massages. I do, But
I also realized that I, likeI purposefully have an appointment to go to
the chiropractor every month because it hasbeen improving my posture and just my like
(35:22):
joint aches and pains. Whereas likea massage is like okay, like I'm
having a wellness day, I'm gonnago get a massage, versus like,
okay, I'm now going to goget like stretched out and twisted, and
so that eventually I maybe don't haveto come to the chiropractor or go the
chiropractor like every month, but I'mbut I still would anyway. And also
(35:43):
I misspoke, y'all, wellness isa four trillion dollar gold Oh yeah,
trillion trillion. I need to sellsome supplements. But then you be detriled
to wellness. Hey yeah, becausewellness. I mean remember remember remember all
those doodle teas those last yea everybodywas because I was buying them too,
(36:06):
Honey, I still got some.Yes, it's always something. It's always
a trend. It was the teasto make you poop. Before that,
it was like something else. Youremember, No need juice back in the
day was like everybody a drinking juice. My mom had me drinking no juice
and I wasn't like high school ormiddle school drinking it like I think I'm
gonna get well from this right,and it's like, no, no,
(36:27):
that's not I never heard of.I don't even know where you could get
it anymore. I don't think,I mean, I don't know, probably
on Wish or something. Probably withthat was like so crazy how that came
and went. But it was likeat such a bit it was such a
big thing. But you know,people be trying to find shortcuts. It's
kind of like it's kind of likewhere somebody it's like, Okay, I'm
gonna eat healthy today, So Iam gonna go to McDonald's, but I'm
(36:50):
gonna order his eye cooke, andit's like that's not doing anything. Yeah,
I'm not saying that you have tolike all you can do is eat
salad. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is wholeness is essentially
not essentially, excuse me. Wholenessis essentially you committing to your like betterment
for your future, whereas wellness isjust committing to how you're feeling like a
(37:15):
day. Yeah, it feels likeit's more short term, and then wholeness
is long term. Like I wentto a little Lemon, so like,
you know, I got my wellnessclothes. It's like, okay, well,
that's cool. I guess you justspent like a thousand dollars on some
and on some yoga pants. Butbut yeah, that's essentially that's essentially the
difference between wholeness and wellness. Okay, wholeness, wholeness, wholeness. Oh,
(37:39):
I wanted to be whole Okay,right exactly. Like here's another example,
like, uh, somebody could saysomething very racist to you and apologize
and that would be wellness. Butin order for us to all collectively get
to wholeness, everyone has to beheld accountable and apologize and stopped doing dumb
(37:59):
things. But that that was thatwas a bit, that was a bit
of a reach, I would admitthat. So in any case, that's
all the time we have for ourdeep dive conversations. Yeah, that's that's
an excellent topic. I feel likeI've learned something new today. So let's
try first to switch gears and getto our other favorite segment of the show,
pop culture diagnosis. Okay, solet's get right into our pop culture
(38:59):
diagnos for this week, Meg,can you give our listeners a quick synopsis
of Lena Wait's Is it waif Waive? Yeah? Okay, So Meg,
can you give our listeners a quicksynopsis of Lena Waite's show The Shine and
which character we are diagnosing today.The Shine is a great show. Actually
it's I don't even know how manyseasons in it is, but it's quite
(39:20):
a few. So if you haven'tchecked it out, watch it. The
Shine is really good. It's adrama series about life in a neighborhood in
Chicago, and it shows how inevery episode there's a group of residents and
they go through something, but they'rethey're bonded by what they go through and
sometimes takes redemption. So, DoctorMiny, I want you to diagnose the
successful businessman and mayoral candidate by day, but he's also the leader of a
(39:46):
ruthless game by night. And hisname is Duda. Okay, Douda.
First of all, that kind ofsound like based upon the description of Duda,
he kind of sounds like Stringer Bell, which for a while was the
only reason why I watched the theWhat's it? What's it? The Wire?
(40:07):
I'm like the block the corner girl. Okay, That's really the only
reason why I watched the Wire.I kind of would just fast forward to
his scenes grated this was back inlike two thousand and four, and then
you know, like spoiler alert,he got killed. So I was like,
I don't care about the super show. This show was boring. But
obviously a lot of people disagree withme. I've not watched The Wire in
(40:29):
its entirety, but yeah, Iwas just kind of like, I was
like, this dude is cute,but like that's it. This is boring
and whatever. So anyway, anyway, Dooda, who does remind me of
Stringer Bellt. Not I mean,he's not unattractive, but he's you know,
he's not Stringer Bellt. He isa very ruthless person. Yeah.
(40:51):
I hate to sound like a brokenrecord, but Dooda is definitely very self
turn he went to I saw ascene where he went to visit somebody and
just straight like the dude opened thedoor and he just shot him like like
point blank range. Yeah, he'she's savage. He's savage. And when
(41:12):
we describe people as savage, likeeven when I think about like Rihanna talking
about I'm a savage, you know, there's a there's a selfishness that comes
into play, and when you're thatselfish, you are going to embody narcissistic
traits, Like you're definitely just gonnabe like, well, this is all
about me. Like at one point, dude was screaming on his son because
(41:34):
his son didn't take his shoes offwhen he got in the house. And
then Duda was like, oh,I told you yesterday or I told you
the last time that I don't wantyou coming in here with your with your
sneakers on my horwood floor. AndI was like, well, what's what's
gonna happen? Like, like,what's what's gonna happen? Like? And
and in the scene he had darkfloors. Yeah, I'm like, what's
(41:57):
what's what's what's gonna happen? Idon't I don't understand. But he he
like flipped on his son, andI was just like, all right,
DUDEA like you clearly you know Idon't know. Like obviously, this particular
character had a lot of trauma growingup that led him to get to this
point in his life where you,first of all, you're trying to run
for mayor and you lead a gang. Like but I feel like that's actually
(42:19):
probably somebody's real story oh, I'msure Chicago and the history of the US.
Yeah, definitely somebody's story. Yeah, I mean, and I'm not
saying like I mean no, youknow, no hate to Chicago. I
love Chicago, but Chicago you know, can be like mag write me like
the show. But yeah, Ican. I can totally see it.
I just think, dudea you know, when he was a kid, he
(42:40):
needed a hug, he needed alot more attention, and now he just
alpha self, alpha delf and outsideof that, you know, he just
he he has he has psychopathic,antisocial traits. And I thought you were
gonna say narcissistant. He was anarcissist. I'm kind of you. I'm
(43:00):
kind of throwing, like using psychopsychopathy as like a catch all, okay,
because I don't really like I He'svery ruthless, He's obviously very self
centered. I haven't seen him necessarilybe super manipulative, but I mean that
kind of goes along with it.Yeah, yeah, that kind of goes
along with it. So I know, I diagnose people as antisocial or psychopaths
(43:25):
very often, but you know,honestly, there's a lot of different ones
out there. There's sexual psychopaths,there's there's a what do they call like
sensitive psychopaths, Like those are peoplethat like they're more they kind of tend
to be more sol on the dependentlike spectrum, Like if somebody says something
(43:45):
wrong to them, they're just likeoh God, and they'll just seek out
whatever type of like attention they canget. But I mean, psychopaths are
interesting from a storytelling standpoint, Sothat's why a lot of characters that they
do end up watching on TV happento have those types of qualities because they're
very dramatic and they're just very extra. So in any case, yeah,
(44:07):
douda, he needs a hug orneeded a hug, and yeah, thank
god he's not a real person.Although and I was gonna say, didn't
you say something about what duda meansin Oh? Yeah, so dooda an
Arabic means worm, So it's kindof like, yeah, I wonder if
that was intentional. But I alsofeel like, I mean, that's kind
(44:28):
of messed up, Like I don'thave anything wrong with worms, Like they're
actually really good for soil and stuff, so I kind of feel like it's
I mean, I don't know,maybe don't means something else in another language,
but I was like, Okay,I guess I'll just go with worms.
So maybe that's why they named him. Okay, yeah, So anyway,
that's it for pop culture diagnosis.I hope that you enjoyed my little
(44:52):
diagnosis I did. Yeah, we'llhave another fun character to analyze next week.
And if you guys have suggestions forfictional characters out there that you'd like
for me to diagnose, hit meup on Twitter at doctor Underscore. I'm
gonna change it to X. It'snot Twitter anymore. Oh okay, okay,
okay, So that's it for popculture. So that's it for pop
culture diagnosis, you guys. We'llhave another fun character to analyze next week.
(45:15):
If you have any suggestions for fictionalcharacters out there that you'd like for
me to diagnose, hit me upon X formerly known as Twitter Stupidest name
Ever at Doctor Underscore Emani, hitmeg up on Instagram at meg School,
and email the show at Hello atImani state of mind dot com. And
again, if you're enjoying the show, don't forget to rate and review the
(45:37):
show on your favorite podcast apps.So that's it for this week. We'll
see you next week. Bye.He
Hi, everybody. Welcome between Monty, State of Mine. I am doctor
Eman and I am next Scoop one. I'm good, I'm good. We
both ravishing today, but well I'malways ravishing. Well. Thank you.
I love this top you have.We have our little cutouts. I'm knowing
our little cutout showing a little hoochieskin. I know, like I'm trying
to guess something, so I haveto like roll my shoulder. Now wait
(00:38):
did you get his hand? Youlook like I've been in the Bahamas or
something. I've been in my backyardthat's close to the Bahamas. Yeah,
I've been. I've been in mybackyard. Yeah. That that's I've been
in my backyard. That's pretty muchit. Me and Peter did just come
back like literally hours ago from JoshuaTree from the desert and it was so
nice. Wait, did you guysdo it like a yurt or like a
(01:00):
tent and what did you do?No, we were in a house like
this house. It was an airbnb. So this house had like a pool,
it had like a container bar,like like they built a bar into
like one of those container like itwas so cool. So like you just
opened it up and it was likeboom, there's your drinks, there's your
(01:22):
stools, there's like there's like yourI mean everything. It was. It
was so I'll show you pictures likelater. It was so dope. So
we went because Peter turned fifty yeayay, which is really I know,
her birthday. So that was thatwas really fun and so we we went.
We just came back from Josha Treetoday and then outside of that,
(01:44):
we went to Vegas two weeks ago. Up. Okay, I'm trying to
get on this level. Well it'snot even I mean, keep in mind
when we went to Vegas, itwas basically he was there for his best
friend's bachelor party, and I justkind of tagged along, wait to the
party or just to the track,just to the trap, okay, I
want to say. I was like, really I almost went, and Peter
(02:06):
was like, you can stay herebecause they went to they went to I
think like the r r MGM,like this pool party, and I was
like, okay, I'm ready andhe was like okay, now yeah.
I was like that's fine. I'mabout to watch Law and Order and get
some Postmates and go to sleep andthis is gonna be dope. But really
Vegas was more fun this time aroundfor me because we did like a lot
of stuff off the trip. Ohyeah, that's what you got. Yeah,
(02:29):
because the strip is cool, butit's like I wanted, like we
got massages. We got a couple'smassage and we drove twenty minutes to get
it. But on the strip,a basic massage for one is like three
hundred like three hundred plus, rightdollars worth it. I was like,
y'all gonna have to They're better belike, I don't want a happy ending,
but like y'all got a buffet orsomething like something. I was just
(02:52):
like this is not yeah, likethis is a little bit expensive for me,
but it was. I mean,yeah, so we've basically a month
of travel and that's been really fine. Yeah yeah, So what's up with
you girl? I've been homeschooling.This is my second week. Okay,
(03:13):
you've been homeschooling your son? Whatgreat is your son is? He's a
kider garden. He's a kindergarten.Okay, And so what was the like
cause okay, so the first I'lllet me just say I'm not one of
those parents that's like, you know, like okay, maybe you know there's
people that are just like, oh, I love my kids everything. I
love my kids. Yeah, y'allcan go somewhere, right, you know
(03:36):
what I'm saying, Like, y'allcould go to school. Yeah. So
what happened was my son is hemissed the birthday cut off by a month.
Oh my god, it's that Georgia. It's like, yeah, and
they're very strict about that. Theywon't let you test into kindergarten even if
you're like smart enough Andy, andhe definitely is. And I would have
considered letting him do another year ofpre case so he'd be like the oldest
(03:57):
kid in the class. Yeah,but I don't like that. I don't
either, because he he's He wasthe one I actually put him in a
class where he was with his peerspeers. He was like, Mommy,
that's a baby class. And Iwas like, Oh, I have to
get you out because they're gonna startlabeling you because you're gonna be bored.
Exactly. He's very chatty already.So I was like, you know what,
I'm I'm not gonna do that tomy baby. I'll just go ahead
and take and take this ill rightat homeschool. You for at least this
(04:20):
year. Yeah, and we'll see. You know, they don't care about
it as much in first grade,but kindergartens for sure. That also,
like when when me and my parentsmoved from New York to Texas when I
was four, it was a itwas a thing there too, like like
they were like, oh, well, she was born after the cutoff in
(04:40):
August and my birthday is December thirtieth, and so my mom was like,
okay, we're gonna go. Sowe went to the superintendent's office. He
made her like or she made himrather like get like some psychological book and
just had She was like, look, Emmie's she doesn't She's not gonna be
able to understand the words. Shecan read it, yeah, and she
was So I read it and Iwas like okay, And the same way
(05:03):
I was like this like they putme in a class and I was like,
this is boring, and they keepasking me to spell like the thh
She's like. I was like,I already know how to how to read,
like this is stupid, and hecan read already. So I was
like, how so I would feelso bad with having to make him do
precake again and he's literally reading abook right exactly. Yeah, I don't
(05:24):
like, can't do this, Wecan't do this. So, yes,
we're homeschooling. Okay. The firstday I was like I need that your
rank. Yeah. Several drinks itwas. It's just overwhelming because A,
you know, I got the tigermoms side of me, and I don't
want him to like, I don'twant him to be dumb because of me.
Girl, he's not dumb if hecan read. And those kids are
(05:45):
like, well I don't know,then like you you're doing a great job.
I just I'm like, oh mygod, but maybe not gonna know
nothing because of me that I'm That'smy fear, and so I battle with
that. Plus also being like,okay, is he engaged enough? Am
I doing this right? Is heenjoying it? Because he's a very social
kid. So I just make surewe have a lot of like we joined
the actually this wonderful homeschool collective basicallyof like other moms and families with homeschool
(06:10):
kids, and they meet once aweek like in a physical classroom, so
he has that interaction and then acouple of times a month we do uh
field trips okay, so he hasthat and they're like and it's like a
black Bible based on so it's like, okay, well you know what.
I actually I'm cool with this becauseI listen and it's it's kind of a
drive for me. But I lookedat the homeschool collectives in my area and
(06:32):
I was like, no black kids. I was like, okay, right,
all right, we already got himin baseball and his partner. It's
gonna be Tofer and Cooper and Braylanwith a y and two ends and girl,
it's gonna be often to me,you know. So yeah, So
so hopefully the balance of like okay, he's in sports, he's doing all
these activities, plus the co oplike gonna be enough for him socially.
(06:55):
That's good. Yeah, it's alot. And it is because you were
also like expecting to be like,Okay, I'm gonna be able to drop
you off somewhere right and and beforeI could do that, and like,
okay, so now I have thingsthat I can get done, but I
think what I'm gonna do is now, and plus it's still got the baby,
plus it's still work. So allof this put together, I was
like, somebody gotta leave. SoI think the baby's go I kick her
(07:17):
out. I gotta put her intoschool. So yeah, she's on her
way out. Yeah I love you, Millie, but she's on her way
Millie. Oh she's enough to sayno and mine. And I was like,
okay, it's time. Yeah youcan go. You can go like
like your toys in school, soexactly. Yeah. Yeah, but I
mean listen, I I understand.I know that. It was definitely a
(07:40):
thing with my parents. Like mymom was just like, you're not holding
her back and look at you now, girl, look at me now.
Yes, okay, you're giving mesome motivation and yeah. Well plus like
I mean, they wanted to holdme back. And that's a thing I
know in the South for like sports, like they like to hold kids back.
Yeah, because they want them tobe bigger and like more I guess
(08:03):
more developed when it comes to sports, so they're better just kids. It
just sounds like when it comes toblack kids, it just sounds like hello
racist. See I'm just like no, because I graduated from from high school
at seventeen, right, And I'mjust like, why are y'all so afraid
that, like, yeah, justbecause y'all's kids are dumb? Does not
mean that like our kids are dumb. Like just because y'all's kids are like
(08:24):
four years old and like, youknow, still bumping into walls and rolling
around the floor does not mean ourkids can't like literally be like pitatric clothes.
Duda, he takes his own showers, Like, yeah, supervision,
but you know he can do alot of So I'm like, let's just
go ahead and go for this kindergartenthings. Exactly. No, that's that's
good. This time next to you, right how it is exactly. Hopefully
(08:50):
I don't develop no like drinking habitsfrom this. Yeah, this is a
lot. Okay, No, that'sfunny. I've actually been drinking a bit
more myself, like what kind ofdrinks, like apparently, like I really
like Bloody Marys, and I reallyI do. I love Bloody Maries and
I love micheladas, which is somethingthat I learned about when I moved to
La and uh Madelo, which isnow the number one beer in the country.
(09:16):
Big up Madelo and not Budweiser,even though it was kind of messed
up what happened to Budweiser as faras like them receiving all this pushback for
just for like promoting a trans likeInstagram. Yeah, but so Madelo makes
these micheladas or cheladas like in acan. So it is, I mean
(09:37):
it is so. I mean Ilove them, and we went when me
and Peter went to Vegas. Theyhave like tihen ones. They have ones
with mango. I haven't tried thatone, ones with pineapple. I just
get the regular basic one. SoI was. I drank like two of
those last night in the desert,like they were so good. They were
so good. So I've been drinkinga little bit more in an attempt to
(10:00):
get to my wholeness and not wellness, which is actually a little early dive
into our deep dive discussion today.Yeah, because to me they sound same.
Okay, they both start with wnN with ness ye basically to basically
so, I mean, because thething about it is, so today's deep
dive, we're gonna be talking aboutwholeness, right. So I tend to
(10:24):
think that I have my wellness routinedownpad like I work out, I tend
to my garden, I drink mywater. I'm my my business for the
most part, because it's kind ofhard in mind your business when you have
social media, and you can belike, right, that's gross or oh
I like that. So in anycase, today's Today's deep dive is actually
(10:46):
going to be about wholeness versus wellness. And that's because I've read this Oprah
Daily article recently and it had methinking about how I need to shift my
focus away from wellness because the articlesaid essentially that as a society, we've
turned the search for wellness into anunhealthy obsession. Yeah, and I can
see that, yeah, and itscauses more stressed than good. So it
(11:09):
also went on to say that insteadof focusing on wellness, we need to
shift to discovering the concept of wholeness. And after reading the article, I
immediately texted Meg that we need totake a deep dive into this concept.
So today we're gonna take a deepdive into the concept of wellness versus wholeness.
And and that wholeness goes far beyondwhat's typically labeled as wellness, which
(11:31):
is now like a billion dollars industry. And that word that's a buzzword right
now, yeah, yeah, wellness, wellness, wellness. Yeah. So,
if you guys are loving the show, let us know by rating the
show on your favorite podcast app.Yeah, so, Meg, We're going
to go to one of our Iguess one of our favorite topics of our
favorite section. We have a favoritesection of the show. We're going to
(11:54):
read your letters that you guys wrotein to ask doctor Imani and Meg anything.
They were really good this week,so let's let's get to it.
It's time for astocremoney anything. SoMeg, who is our first letter from
today? Well, actually it's frompage Hey girl, and she writes this
(12:15):
summer, I think I have developedseasonal depression. I'm in my struggle season.
I am in between jobs, somy money isn't where it needs to
be to do what I want todo this summer. Now. I'm an
extremely social person who loves to sociallydrink and smoke, but due to my
current bank account, I am inthe house. I'm not a person who
can just sit in the house asI see my friends outside. Ladies.
(12:37):
If Fomo was a person, itwould be a girl. I've become a
really moody, sad, and borderlinehater. When my friends call me to
tell me there's summer plans or adventures. My parents said, I just need
to grow up. And this ispart of adulting, but that advice isn't
helping me with this inside the housedepression. The way this job search is
going, I am going to bein the house for a while and need
(12:58):
to shift this negative energy. Whatare some things you think will help me
get my mind right and switch themood I'm in. Okay, So,
Paige, I love how you putyour glasses on for this se Oh yeah,
no, I was like I hadright, Like, okay, so
I'm being a diary like professional now. So okay, so page here's the
thing. Why, Like I understandthat you ain't you know, you ain't
(13:24):
really flush with cash right now,and you're trying to you know, basically
just page yourself. But why whyare you stuck in the house. Like
there's a lot of stuff you cando for free. That is very true.
You can just google stuff to dofor free near me. Yeah,
a bunch of shit because guess whatsince I've done it, okay me,
So it's there's there's so much,right, I'm like, girl, go
(13:46):
outside, right who and also likejust just just to lay it on a
little bit thicker page. I'm sorry, but your parents are also right,
Yeah, Like there's gonna come timesin your life when you just gonna have
to save up for some shit,you're gonna be like, right, everybody,
it's not ball out season every year, right, But I don't know.
Actually, pretty much everybody I know, even the richest of the richest
(14:09):
people I don't know, have hadtheir moments where they're like, yeah,
I'm gonna have to say yeah,right now, right, I have to,
like, right, I gotta likefall back a little bit. I
mean, I will say that,yes, I do smoke weed every day,
but that's kind of like a newishthing as far as like how much
money I have and what I candevote to that. But yeah, there
(14:33):
were lots of times when I couldn'tsmoke every day. Yeah I couldn't.
I mean, but that and andhonestly, that's when it's like, Okay,
I'm gonna go kick it at myfriend's house who I know has weed,
and so I'm just gonna hope thatthey smoke or I'm just gonna go
over to my friend's house and kickit, like I guess, I don't
know where you live, Paige.And I also understand that you said you're
(14:54):
a social person, but you canbe social. And now it's like yeah,
you can be social. What elseis crazy? Like because it sounds
she sounds a little bit younger.She says, she's her parents adulting.
They're like teaching her this. SoI'm assuming pages like early twenties, right,
yeah, so if that's the case, page, like, you can
still go to the club for free, like before eleven o'clock. Okay,
it's right, and myself, right, you better sign them for the RSVP,
(15:18):
get in there before let it andthen wait for your friends to come.
Right, you're a girl, you'reprobably cute. Get some guys to
buy you a drink like this islike, yeah, this is broke girl
one on one, right, thisis I've been there plenty. Okay,
we go pay for nothing, youknow, ride with somebody to the club.
Make sure you'll get there free beforeeleven. There's so many things to
(15:39):
do. Also, you're also justi mean just again broke gral one on
one. You know, you cango to the corner store, like okay,
first of all, head, youcan go to the corner store.
You can get you some little miniliquor ball yes a dollar each, yeah,
and then you just make your littledrink and then you put them in
(16:00):
your purse. Yeah, you goingto a club where they check your purse.
There's these little things you can getfrom like Spencers or whatever. You
can order it on Amazon, I'msure. And they look like tampons.
Say, you pour your shot inthere and you put it back in the
little it's like a it's like alittle plastic vial. But you put it
in it's like a tampon cover.Girl, and you put in your purse.
They not gonna know, They're gonnabe like tampon. Right, and
(16:22):
here you are with like five tamponsand a girl you're throwing shots back.
Okay, you just pull it outthe little tampon cover and then it's it
looks like a little what is itlike a little like an applicator. No,
it doesn't even look like it's literallyjust the outside of it looks like
a tampa. But when you pullit out, it's like a plastic It's
this. I've seen them in theclub already, Like I've seen the bottom
girls walk around with these long,like skinny plastic things with like the top
(16:45):
on it, and they serve itthere anyway, So now you got it,
look like you got it from theclub, so right, So page.
In any case, Okay, youyou need to like literally you need
to google free stuff that's near meand broke all one on one or know,
go and find the hashtag bro girland and be okay with it not
being your season. Okay, it'sokay. This is your season to build
(17:07):
and there's probably some other things youcan work on in life if you're so
concerned with everybody else doing their things, because maybe that's a lesson you need
to learn because it's not always goingto be your turn, and you have
to learn to celebrate other people whenit's their turn. Yes, my friends
are having a blast. I loveit. I can't do that right now,
but I will, Like that's thekind of mindset you need, so
exactly. Yeah, you gotta fixthat girl. Yeah. I mean I
(17:30):
think with experience and with age,like you'll learn that not everything is for
you. Like there's there's a seasonthere. There there's always a season,
and like Mex said, this isjust not your season. I went to
I went to these outlet stores earliertoday because I had to charge my car,
and I was like, oh mygod, look at all this be
(17:51):
less y'all got and Gucci and andit's it was cute, but it was
like, Imani, do you needit? No, you don't, you
know, I'm like, you havethat bag, you don't need that bag.
You don't need those shoes. Iwas like, oh, look those
been on Tiaka sninkers, like thosewould be those would be so cute.
And then when they're like that'll belike four hundred dollars, I'm gonna be
like no, like no, right, right, right, It's fine.
I'll get some knockoffs off Amazon orsomething. I don't care. But but
(18:12):
anyway, Page, I think atthe very most, you're probably suffering from
what's called adjustment disorder, which isessentially things have changed and you are having
a hard time adjusting to it.Yeah. I haven't heard anything in your
letter that specifically sounds like you're dealingwith clinical depression or seasonal depression. Yeah,
(18:37):
but it's summertime, so she's tryingto say, girl, you know
you just broke for right now,you need to be okay with that.
Right, I'm not going shopping becauseI have stuff I have to pay for.
Yeah, I don't need more stuff. So it's fine, Paide,
You're gonna be okay. You willbe okay. You'd be okay and let
us know what fun free things andwhat nifty tricks you have come up with
(18:57):
to have a good time, becausethere's so much I know you should be
out here like celebrating yourself, Sodo that. Yes, yay, okay.
Our next letter comes from a listenerby the name of Kat. She
says, dear Doctory, Monny,and Meg, my life has officially turned
into your next Netflix movie. Letme start by saying, I am living
(19:18):
in my act bad moment. Iam fresh out of a bad breakup and
haven't been single in five years,so I am having fun and embracing my
host stage until now. I havemy first one night stand over the weekend
and the sex was good, likereally good. But get this, I
am a nanny and started with anew family on Monday. I think you
(19:41):
know where this is going. Myone night stand with the Good d answers
the effing door. He is thehusband slash dad of my new family.
He whispered to me that he wouldpay me double to not mention what happened
this weekend, and I just froze. I ended up faking a stomach bug
to leave early and take the restof the week off. The husband keeps
(20:02):
panically texting me to come back andwork so his wife doesn't begin to wonder
what's up with me. So I'mconflicted. The city girl in me is
like, Okay, take his slushmoney and the nanny salary and live that
good life. But the good girlin me is like, nah, girl,
you're gonna have to quit and finda new family to nanny for.
What do you think I should do? I am torn and literally whatever advice
(20:22):
you tell me is the way Iam going to play this out. Okay,
alright, kat okay, So catgirl, look, I am I'm
definitely someone who is not really into, like buying into the capitalistic kind of
(20:44):
morais that our society has forced uponus. I mean, obviously we need
money to eat and pay our bills. But let me tell you something,
at the end of the day,if it's between less money and more money,
girl, you better get your money. Get your money. Like though,
I mean, okay, here's thething. You didn't know, Like
you had no idea this man wasmarried. Now here he is, and
(21:06):
I kind of feel like, Imean, you you're gonna have to have
like a very you know, quickconversation with this man and be like,
Okay, if you're gonna pay medouble, that's fine, but I need
to know that your wife isn't gonnabe like, oh my god, why
is this nanny getting paid twice asmuch? You know what. I'm like,
I'm like, get your money,but at the same time you probably
(21:26):
will get busted. That's exactly whatI was gonna say. Yeah, it's
one thing to be like okay,Like to me, the truth always comes
out, especially when you're dealing withthe man that has to like keep things
hidden because men aren't good at thatgirl. Okay, he's gonna slip up
some way shape or fashion. He'sgonna end up leaving at text on his
(21:47):
phone of him telling you, hey, you know, don't tell my wife.
And then now she's looking at yousideways like you did something wrong because
again you didn't know. Was ityour fault? You didn't know this man
was married. Closed your legs andmarried man, right, but you didn't
know. Oh you did know,And so now she's looking at you sideways
because it's like, oh, nowI realize you knew, and you still
came to work for us, Likeonce you found that out, you should
(22:07):
have left, right, and hesome way, shape or fashion. He's
gonna slip up, whether it's heaccidentally takes some money out of their joint
account one time to pay you,Like if something's gonna happen, something's gonna
happen, something's gonna happen. Okay, so I would just leave. I
don't think it's worth it at theend of the day, Like, Okay,
you could get this extra money,but then if stuff goes sideways,
(22:30):
then now you you potentially have somebodybad mouthing you when again you didn't know.
The mom could be going on socialmedia telling everybody not to hire you
if they had right and if theyfound you on a nanny site, she
can go report you on the nannysite. Now you can't be a nanny
anywhere, Like I just don't thinkit's worth it. Yeah, and then
you gotta deal with that, likewhat if you're a nanny like Monday through
(22:52):
Friday, and then you have todeal with that every single day on your
job. Yeah. And then youalso was like it was good. So
you might have your little moments whenyou in heat and you're looking at him
like girl and heat, she's nota cat. Cattle might be in heat
and you see mister good d overthere playing with the kids. You might
(23:12):
want to revisit. So let's justget out of this. It's such as
messy situation. Just run, girl, Ron. So I'm trying to think
of another way that you can kindof work this angle. Page, Like,
I mean, excuse me, not, Paige. I'm trying to think
of another angle that you can workthis cat. And I think that I
don't know, you might have tolike do some low key blackmail and be
(23:33):
like be like, hey, youknow I can't work for you, but
I can keep this quiet if yougive me this much money, right and
until I get my next job exactly, get something to hold me out there.
But yeah, yeah, because ifhe's like, oh, okay,
you double, it's like, oh, well, if you're willing to pay
me double, then I I mean, I know you got some hush money,
so I mean give me that youthe dangerous game. But what if
(23:56):
he's like a dangerous person. Imean, I don't know. I'm just
like, girl, get your money, because I want to end up like
Page talking about oh I can't leavethe house. Well, sometimes the juice
ain't worth the squeeze, Okay,you know, I know I know I'm
kind of trife, but I mean, but I'm just kind of like,
you know what, get get yourmoney, but legit, like you can't
(24:17):
work for these people long terms,so you might want to be like I
can do this for like two weeksor a month so that you know,
so that you don't end up gettingbusted. Because that is Yeah, that's
that's very that's that's very that's verydramatic. Yeah, that's a lot of
drama. But you know, Cat, let us know because I guess we
(24:38):
kind of told you, like tryto get your money, but at the
end of the day you probably shouldjust mounce yeah. Yeah, but I'm
but like I'm like fifty one percentget your money forty nine percent, like
you should probably a mounce yeah,and also try to get like, you
know, so much money out ofman. So anyway, thank you Paige
and thank you Kat for submitting yourquestions. I hope we were able to
(24:59):
help and please let us know howit goes. Yes, please keep your
letters coming. We love them.If you have a problem, a question,
or you just want to get somethingoff your chest, please hit us
up, email us at hello atimani state of mind dot com. Okay,
(25:29):
doctor your money. Let's switch gearsand get into our deep die for
today, because earlier you said wholenessis not wellness, and I said they
both start with W and they endin nest. So you're gonna have to
tell me the difference. Okay,let's get into it. Okay, how
they impact our mental health? Okay? All right. So first of all,
wellness is a relatively new term.It's I would I mean, I
(25:55):
personally didn't start hearing it until maybeI don't know, ten years ago,
but I guess it's as like Googlehistory, it's been about two decades that
wellness came to be a recognized termor word or whatever the way I kind
of see it being used now asfar as like on social media, it's
(26:15):
like a lot of people, youknow, like like it's definitely kind of
been incorporated into soft life because Iknow that we're both very much like Soft
Life ladies. Yeah, but wellnessit's it's almost kind of like a target,
like the way that it's presented online, like it's something that you can
hack, like if you if youdrink alkaline water, then you're contribute to
(26:37):
your wellness, and wellness is somethingthat is now like a billion dollar business
like it, wellness outpaces pharmaceutical likeglobal pharmaceutical sales, yes, yeah,
by billions. Yeah, because wellnesscan include like, oh, I'm gonna
(26:57):
roll this cold of whatever on yourface, and then after that, I'm
gonna like go get a smoothie andI'm gonna hack it by putting these specific
powders into it, and then likewellness honestly, from what I've seen,
seems to be like a like likea short term destination, okay, whereas
(27:21):
wholeness is really about like wholeness reallylike kind of leaves you with with what
we call in psychiatry being like goaloriented or future oriented. So being goal
oriented and future oriented are usually usedto talk about people who may be super
depressed and possibly have like suicidal thoughtsbecause you can engage. I mean,
(27:45):
this is this is like let mejust play Devil's Advocate. You can you
could potentially kill yourself tomorrow but stillparticipate in wellness today, meaning you could
drink you drink my powders, drinkright, you can do all that,
right, but it's not going tonecessarily bring you to wholeness because if you
(28:08):
because if you're thinking about like yeah, I'm gonna end this all tomorrow.
Then you're not a whole person.You are participating in wellness and the wellness
industry, but you're not contributing towholeness for yourself. Like it's what is
the future, what makes you whole? There are a lot of things that
make us whole. So here's thething when it comes to wellness. A
(28:33):
lot of people, girl, Iknow you've we've all seen these things like
oh, if you, if you, if you, what do you call
it? Tag your friend on thispost and you put up this hashtag,
then you'll get five hundred dollars tomorrow. That's like what that's like? I
mean that's really like basic wellness,like basic people. So it's kind of
(28:56):
like like oh, I'm going tobe positive today or I'm gonna be really
mindful. I'm going to you know, make sure that like my day has
meaning, whereas wholeness is like okay, how is my energy? Like energy
is something you have to work onday to day, Like if your balance
today, are you going to bebalanced tomorrow? Like maybe maybe not?
(29:18):
Also, like what is your likewhat is what is your environment? Like?
Like is your environment like is itare you are you good at staying
present? Are you, you know, not good at staying present? If
you're good at staying present and justbeing in the moment, that is more
so contributing to wholeness because being inthe moment allows you to not be anxious.
(29:40):
It allows you to and a lotof anxiety is based upon what if
this happens in the future, Butbeing present is like, Okay, I'm
fine with the way things are rightnow, and I'm just gonna live moment
to moment because that's going to bettercontribute to my wholeness now and in the
future. Also being of service toother people, Like that's a really big
(30:03):
part of wholeness that really isn't stressedin wellness. Yeah, Like wellness seems
to be a very like a verylike self fishy thing. Like you can
you can look, you can ruball kinds of stuff in your skin,
and you can take yourself on vacationby yourself, and you can do all
(30:23):
kinds of things. But if you'renot comfortable with yourself, then you're not
going to be contributing really to wholeness. Okay, yeah, okay, I'm
starting to get it. Yeah,And then another issue that I've kind of
seen expressed with wellness is like Ilike in this country, let's say we
don't have rituals and traditions that wecan say, okay, like culturally we
(30:48):
all like to do ayur Veda orwe all like to I don't know,
like burn stage in the house.These are all things that we've borrowed from
other cultures. Yoga is truly Indian. Yeah, but you would know looking
online, it's like a whole bunchof like, you know, thin white
girls and anybody can do yoga.You can be any size and do yoga.
(31:11):
But looking at social media, itwill have you believe that like oh
you got to be skinny, andlike that's not what it's about. And
really we've we've borrowed a lot ofthese things from other cultures, and we've
borrow a lot of things from othercultures. Many of these other cultures they've
been like displaced, Like these areindigenous people who did who who have certain
(31:34):
traditions, and we basically took themand then it was like okay, sure,
over the course of your day,like rub your face with this cold
jade stone because that's what they doin China. Meanwhile, it could be
like I do not know, butlike that could also be a part of
like a larger like wholeness practice.Yeah, and we're just kind of,
(31:56):
you know, picking and choosing whatwe want to kind of fit into to
what can be commodified. So,like I talked a little while ago about
like how wellness is a billion dollarglobal industry. Like you, if I
go to the store right now andtry to get some water, I can
get alkaline water. I can getwater with electrolytes. I can get water
with charcoal in it. I canget Yeah, I can get water that
(32:20):
tastes like melon but has like karanain it or something, so it's like
it's like caffeine water. Like thereare so many ways that we've commodified wellness
that again it's like how can Ihack this? Like all these like super
like rich people, like billionaires,they're trying to like develop these space programs
and like so they can fly outof here, yeah, or like they'll
(32:43):
or like apparently I read this articlerecently how the super rich, like the
super wealthy, are trying to seeif they can upload like their thoughts,
their consciousness so that when they die, they'll like people can still talk to
them, like they're trying to beimmortal, and that's still like that's just
(33:04):
a commodification. It's like when peopledie, they die. Yeah. It's
almost like like wellness is very surfaceand wholeness goes much deeper. Exactly exactly.
Wellness is well you know what.I hate to use this as an
example, but I'm gonna use pageright, Like the person who just wrote
in a letter earlier, she's shewas like, I cannot go outside because
(33:27):
I do not have money like thatright now? Yeah. Where And that's
kind of like, in a verysimplistic way, a wellness mindset, whereas
a wholeness mindset is like what wewere saying, like girl, go outside,
Yeah, go find free stuff todo, like be present, Like
don't hate on your friends because theycan do stuff and you can. We
all have ebbs and flows. Andit's not just because your money isn't where
(33:50):
it needs to be. And likewe were talking about, like you can
have money and you might need tosave for a house, so you can't
really like you know, spend moneylike that. It's more about what is
what is the not necessarily what thedestination is, but like where where's the
what is the next step? Forme. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
you know, instead of comparing yourselfto other people. Yeah, it seems
(34:14):
like much deeper. Even for example, like Okay, wellness might be let's
see, I don't know. Thatdoesn't work. I'm trying to think.
I'm trying to make this make senseon a very simple term. Okay,
so wellness might be. I wantto say I want to use my money
(34:35):
to go, like get a massage, because you know, my back hurts,
right, but I feel like wholeness. You might be like, oh,
well, maybe I'll save that money. My back hurts, but like
it's manageable. I may want tosave the money because I'm building something bigger
in my life. Like let's say, for example, like you said house,
I want to build a house becauseI want to leave a legacy to
my family and you know, providea home and stability and like, to
(34:57):
me, that's a bigger picture thathas a little more lasting effects. Whereas
like you get a massage, likeyou get for a little bit if you
have chronic back pain, it's justgonna help you for a little while.
Yeah, it's kind of like Ilove getting massages. I do, But
I also realized that I, likeI purposefully have an appointment to go to
the chiropractor every month because it hasbeen improving my posture and just my like
(35:22):
joint aches and pains. Whereas likea massage is like okay, like I'm
having a wellness day, I'm gonnago get a massage, versus like,
okay, I'm now going to goget like stretched out and twisted, and
so that eventually I maybe don't haveto come to the chiropractor or go the
chiropractor like every month, but I'mbut I still would anyway. And also
(35:43):
I misspoke, y'all, wellness isa four trillion dollar gold Oh yeah,
trillion trillion. I need to sellsome supplements. But then you be detriled
to wellness. Hey yeah, becausewellness. I mean remember remember remember all
those doodle teas those last yea everybodywas because I was buying them too,
(36:06):
Honey, I still got some.Yes, it's always something. It's always
a trend. It was the teasto make you poop. Before that,
it was like something else. Youremember, No need juice back in the
day was like everybody a drinking juice. My mom had me drinking no juice
and I wasn't like high school ormiddle school drinking it like I think I'm
gonna get well from this right,and it's like, no, no,
(36:27):
that's not I never heard of.I don't even know where you could get
it anymore. I don't think,I mean, I don't know, probably
on Wish or something. Probably withthat was like so crazy how that came
and went. But it was likeat such a bit it was such a
big thing. But you know,people be trying to find shortcuts. It's
kind of like it's kind of likewhere somebody it's like, Okay, I'm
gonna eat healthy today, So Iam gonna go to McDonald's, but I'm
(36:50):
gonna order his eye cooke, andit's like that's not doing anything. Yeah,
I'm not saying that you have tolike all you can do is eat
salad. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is wholeness is essentially
not essentially, excuse me. Wholenessis essentially you committing to your like betterment
for your future, whereas wellness isjust committing to how you're feeling like a
(37:15):
day. Yeah, it feels likeit's more short term, and then wholeness
is long term. Like I wentto a little Lemon, so like,
you know, I got my wellnessclothes. It's like, okay, well,
that's cool. I guess you justspent like a thousand dollars on some
and on some yoga pants. Butbut yeah, that's essentially that's essentially the
difference between wholeness and wellness. Okay, wholeness, wholeness, wholeness. Oh,
(37:39):
I wanted to be whole Okay,right exactly. Like here's another example,
like, uh, somebody could saysomething very racist to you and apologize
and that would be wellness. Butin order for us to all collectively get
to wholeness, everyone has to beheld accountable and apologize and stopped doing dumb
(37:59):
things. But that that was thatwas a bit, that was a bit
of a reach, I would admitthat. So in any case, that's
all the time we have for ourdeep dive conversations. Yeah, that's that's
an excellent topic. I feel likeI've learned something new today. So let's
try first to switch gears and getto our other favorite segment of the show,
pop culture diagnosis. Okay, solet's get right into our pop culture
(38:59):
diagnos for this week, Meg,can you give our listeners a quick synopsis
of Lena Wait's Is it waif Waive? Yeah? Okay, So Meg,
can you give our listeners a quicksynopsis of Lena Waite's show The Shine and
which character we are diagnosing today.The Shine is a great show. Actually
it's I don't even know how manyseasons in it is, but it's quite
(39:20):
a few. So if you haven'tchecked it out, watch it. The
Shine is really good. It's adrama series about life in a neighborhood in
Chicago, and it shows how inevery episode there's a group of residents and
they go through something, but they'rethey're bonded by what they go through and
sometimes takes redemption. So, DoctorMiny, I want you to diagnose the
successful businessman and mayoral candidate by day, but he's also the leader of a
(39:46):
ruthless game by night. And hisname is Duda. Okay, Douda.
First of all, that kind ofsound like based upon the description of Duda,
he kind of sounds like Stringer Bell, which for a while was the
only reason why I watched the theWhat's it? What's it? The Wire?
(40:07):
I'm like the block the corner girl. Okay, That's really the only
reason why I watched the Wire.I kind of would just fast forward to
his scenes grated this was back inlike two thousand and four, and then
you know, like spoiler alert,he got killed. So I was like,
I don't care about the super show. This show was boring. But
obviously a lot of people disagree withme. I've not watched The Wire in
(40:29):
its entirety, but yeah, Iwas just kind of like, I was
like, this dude is cute,but like that's it. This is boring
and whatever. So anyway, anyway, Dooda, who does remind me of
Stringer Bellt. Not I mean,he's not unattractive, but he's you know,
he's not Stringer Bellt. He isa very ruthless person. Yeah.
(40:51):
I hate to sound like a brokenrecord, but Dooda is definitely very self
turn he went to I saw ascene where he went to visit somebody and
just straight like the dude opened thedoor and he just shot him like like
point blank range. Yeah, he'she's savage. He's savage. And when
(41:12):
we describe people as savage, likeeven when I think about like Rihanna talking
about I'm a savage, you know, there's a there's a selfishness that comes
into play, and when you're thatselfish, you are going to embody narcissistic
traits, Like you're definitely just gonnabe like, well, this is all
about me. Like at one point, dude was screaming on his son because
(41:34):
his son didn't take his shoes offwhen he got in the house. And
then Duda was like, oh,I told you yesterday or I told you
the last time that I don't wantyou coming in here with your with your
sneakers on my horwood floor. AndI was like, well, what's what's
gonna happen? Like, like,what's what's gonna happen? Like? And
and in the scene he had darkfloors. Yeah, I'm like, what's
(41:57):
what's what's what's gonna happen? Idon't I don't understand. But he he
like flipped on his son, andI was just like, all right,
DUDEA like you clearly you know Idon't know. Like obviously, this particular
character had a lot of trauma growingup that led him to get to this
point in his life where you,first of all, you're trying to run
for mayor and you lead a gang. Like but I feel like that's actually
(42:19):
probably somebody's real story oh, I'msure Chicago and the history of the US.
Yeah, definitely somebody's story. Yeah, I mean, and I'm not
saying like I mean no, youknow, no hate to Chicago. I
love Chicago, but Chicago you know, can be like mag write me like
the show. But yeah, Ican. I can totally see it.
I just think, dudea you know, when he was a kid, he
(42:40):
needed a hug, he needed alot more attention, and now he just
alpha self, alpha delf and outsideof that, you know, he just
he he has he has psychopathic,antisocial traits. And I thought you were
gonna say narcissistant. He was anarcissist. I'm kind of you. I'm
(43:00):
kind of throwing, like using psychopsychopathy as like a catch all, okay,
because I don't really like I He'svery ruthless, He's obviously very self
centered. I haven't seen him necessarilybe super manipulative, but I mean that
kind of goes along with it.Yeah, yeah, that kind of goes
along with it. So I know, I diagnose people as antisocial or psychopaths
(43:25):
very often, but you know,honestly, there's a lot of different ones
out there. There's sexual psychopaths,there's there's a what do they call like
sensitive psychopaths, Like those are peoplethat like they're more they kind of tend
to be more sol on the dependentlike spectrum, Like if somebody says something
(43:45):
wrong to them, they're just likeoh God, and they'll just seek out
whatever type of like attention they canget. But I mean, psychopaths are
interesting from a storytelling standpoint, Sothat's why a lot of characters that they
do end up watching on TV happento have those types of qualities because they're
very dramatic and they're just very extra. So in any case, yeah,
(44:07):
douda, he needs a hug orneeded a hug, and yeah, thank
god he's not a real person.Although and I was gonna say, didn't
you say something about what duda meansin Oh? Yeah, so dooda an
Arabic means worm, So it's kindof like, yeah, I wonder if
that was intentional. But I alsofeel like, I mean, that's kind
(44:28):
of messed up, Like I don'thave anything wrong with worms, Like they're
actually really good for soil and stuff, so I kind of feel like it's
I mean, I don't know,maybe don't means something else in another language,
but I was like, Okay,I guess I'll just go with worms.
So maybe that's why they named him. Okay, yeah, So anyway,
that's it for pop culture diagnosis.I hope that you enjoyed my little
(44:52):
diagnosis I did. Yeah, we'llhave another fun character to analyze next week.
And if you guys have suggestions forfictional characters out there that you'd like
for me to diagnose, hit meup on Twitter at doctor Underscore. I'm
gonna change it to X. It'snot Twitter anymore. Oh okay, okay,
okay, So that's it for popculture. So that's it for pop
culture diagnosis, you guys. We'llhave another fun character to analyze next week.
(45:15):
If you have any suggestions for fictionalcharacters out there that you'd like for
me to diagnose, hit me upon X formerly known as Twitter Stupidest name
Ever at Doctor Underscore Emani, hitmeg up on Instagram at meg School,
and email the show at Hello atImani state of mind dot com. And
again, if you're enjoying the show, don't forget to rate and review the
(45:37):
show on your favorite podcast apps.So that's it for this week. We'll
see you next week. Bye.He
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