Put Your Phone Down: Why Digital Detox’s Are Important

Have you ever considered how dependent we all are on digital devices? From computers to phones, tablets, and watches, many of us spend countless hours consuming digital content and staring at screens—even now as we type this episode description. Join Dr. Imani and Meg Scoop as they unpack the importance of digital detoxes and taking time away from our devices. The ladies share a new pop culture diagnosis on 'Meech' from the Starz show 'BMF.'

If you'd like to submit a listener letter, please email us at [e-mail].

Episode Transcript

(00:16):
Hi everybody. Hello, Hi,welcome to the Imani State of My Podcast.
I am as always Doctor Emani andI am as always Meg Scoop.
Yes, So hello, Why what'sgoing on? What's everyone into? What's
on everyone's mind this week? Okay, So this is what happened. I've
read in this article and it wasabout, you know, how like people

(00:37):
have issues with kids screaming on aplane. Right, We've all been there,
we've all heard it. So thisairline, an international airline, I
think it's called like Calderone or canderoneor something something I never heard of.
Rover here, Right, they're testingout adult only zones in their planes starting
in November. Okay, they tryingit out on one plan one route.
But basically, you pay anywhere fromlike fifty to one hundred dollars more and

(01:00):
you get to sit in an areathat's kind of in the front and it's
got like a wall and like acurtain to kind of curb. You have
to be I think, like sixteenand over to sit in this area.
Okay, pay extra, and it'ssupposed to be for people to like not
hear kids as much. So they'rethinking, is like, okay, we
put the parents in the back withthe kids. Like that way the parents

(01:21):
aren't as stressed about their kids,like screaming with childless people. And then
you know people if they want towork or they want to sleep whatever they
can, and it's they don't hearthe crying as much. Yeah, thoughts,
So you I don't know, you'reprop I don't know if you're old
enough to remember this when there weresmoking alout on planes? Oh no,
I don't, Okay, So becauseI do, and I've like I've taken

(01:45):
several flights as like a kid,Wow when there were yeah, when there
was a smoking section and the smokingsection was in the back, and they
would, you know, have toutthe smoke. Well, I was really
young, so like it didn't reallybother me because you got to remember,
like this was like the seventies,which everybody didn't have like right, so
I didn't really trip off of likeooh, this bar smells like cigarettes or

(02:08):
ooh, like you got on theplane, of course the smoke was going
to circulate around the plane, butwhen you would But the thing is is
that the reason why I remember isbecause we wouldn't be in the smoking section,
but to get to the bathroom.If you're in coach, you have
to go to the back, soyou'd have to part the partition and then
you know, it would be likeall this smoke in the air and then

(02:29):
you go pee or whatever and thenyou go back to your seat. Did
it mean that there was no smokeon the plane. Of course not,
because of just the way sciences andosmosis and things are, like the smoke
is going to diffuse from a higherconcentration to lower concentration smoke in the air.
I mean, honestly, I kindof feel like, listen, like,

(02:50):
if it's that, if it's thatserious for you, fly private because
which of course most people can't afford, right, But I'm just like,
listen, headphones have existed for fuckingever forever. It's true noise canceling.
Yeah, so I'm like, puton some noise canceling headphones. I mean
you might hear a little bit,right, But i mean, okay,

(03:12):
like what you like, you're inpublic, Like, what are you gonna
do? It's not it's not goingto make a significant difference. The first
thing, you like, as soonas you said, like, oh they're
gonna charge people extra, I'm likethat is a fucking cash grub of course,
because there are people who are likeI, especially if you know,
there's a lot of business people whoare like, I need to work on
this flight. I don't want tohear a child screaming okay, find and
pay extra. I actually don't thinkit's a problem. I think it's okay

(03:35):
to have. I actually kind ofprefer it that way, and to be
honest with you, like my kids, I mean maybe not the baby because
she a little wild, but likethe four, the almost five year old,
like he knows what's up? Youkick that seat? You got two
times to kick the seat in frontof you, well, and then you
gotta then we got an issue?Well, and that's the thing. A
lot of it it's I mean,granted, kids are gonna be kids,

(03:57):
and they don't have control of themselvesand they don't how to they don't know
how to really express themselves all thetime. But like legit, a lot
of this is the parent's fault.And if you have a kid kicking my
seat and don't say anything to that, right then, like I'm gonna be
mad at you. I'm not madat the yea, why would I be
mad at the kid? Like it'sa little kid, like you don't know
how to parent properly. And Ithink that's the part that pisses me off

(04:19):
the most. And I have kids, but that pisses me off about fights.
Why why are you not saying anythingto these kids exactly? Why do
you know what? I'm gonna turnaround and say something to your kid?
It's always white kids, though,it is. He's always white kid.
It's always white kids. I meanthrough and through. Because but I saw
this video like two months ago onInstagram and it was this little boy,
this little black boy was with hiswith his dad and he was sitting in

(04:42):
the window seat and he was like, he said, ell, why are
your feet up here? Because thelady behind him had her feet her bare
feet, and he was like that'snasty. And the dad was recording and
the dad was laughing, and thenfinally the little boy turned around. He
was excuse me, can you moveyour feet right? And he had to

(05:02):
have been like five or six.And I was like, see, that
is, that's proper home training,that is. And so that's why I
like for me when people are like, hay, when kids around there,
well, my son was a baby, he was a dream to fly with
like he just so is my son. He just went to sleep. That's
what my son did. Not mydaughter, on the other hand, she
think gets turn up time. Butshe's not crying. She doesn't want to
touch everything. She's like, ohwhat is this? Of course you know,

(05:24):
so I'm gonna have to wait travelingmore with her. But for me,
it's like I just didn't allow herto like slap the man's head in
front of me and no, no, we gotta read direct, we gotta
walk. Now, we gotta runthe aisle on the plane. You want
to run the skull, just run. But you know, like I also
would see parents who actually there wasthis kid and Brendon and I were just

(05:46):
talking about this. There was thiskid on his flight who kept opening in
the shade up and up and down. And now you know, when you're
on the plane and it's dark andsomeone opens up a shade, even if
it's like seven eight rows in frontof you, it is like, where
is your parents? And he saidthe parent just kept opening open shut,
open shut. And on my flighttwo hours open hut, open shed,
open shut, I would be soangry. And then on my flight I

(06:08):
just thought about this. On myway out here a couple days ago.
That flight, this little boy,I was on one window seat in the
road. He was on the otherwindow seat. He kept opening. He
opened it maybe like six or seventimes. And it's a morning flight,
like seven am, so it's pitchblack and there people are sleeping. He
keeps opening at it, and hewould like look outside. He'd leave it
up, and I think maybe thefourth time his dad finally I heard his

(06:30):
dad say, hey, like,people are sleeping, so you don't want
to keep opening and closing because it'slike bright and dark and that's annoying.
So he stopped and then he didn'tdo it again until like towards the end
of the flight. But at leastI was like, I appreciate that your
father said something to you, right, and that you was like, okay,
now he should have said it thesecond time and not the fourth,
but at least he said something toyou, because that was just so annoying.

(06:53):
And I understand why people are like, ah, I hate when I
see kids on a plane. Well, yeah, you ain't seeing kids on
a plane because the parents don't knowhow to do their job. So wait,
is it wrong if you say so? Let's say, you're sitting in
a seat and this kid is kickingyour seat constantly, constantly, constantly,
Yeah, And I turned around andbe said to the parent like excuse me,
like, oh you have of course? Do you say it to the

(07:15):
parent or the kid? Parent likethat's the child? What happened to the
like oh, I'm so sorry,And I'm like, bitch, you sitting
right next to your kid. Didit happen anymore? No? I mean,
I'm a really nice person. Ilove I mean, I love kids.
I love you know, I justI love kids. But I'm like,
I know you are five. Yeah, this person like pushed you out

(07:38):
of their entire body and cannot forsome reason say to you like I need
for you to stop. So that'swhat I'm I'm always torn because I am
like I've always been like a blackmoment to everybody since I was like six
twelve. So I'm torn. ShouldI just say some of you, hey,
baby, don't kick my chair okay? Or should I know the parent
talks to the parent because the childdon't know you, The child isn't gonna

(08:01):
respect you, Like is this hard? No? Usually they doing they're that
little because they're they're scared of you. They're like, okay, like they
don't know what to expect. Theydon't say parents all I mean, in
all honesty, if I turn around, then I'm addressing it to both people.
But really I'm addressing it to theparents. That's why. But I
said, I'm always torn because I'mlike, if you if I'm going to,
is that gonna make you, asa parent finally say something? Because

(08:22):
what if the parent? You tellthe parent? But what if it doesn't,
Because I feel like, then youtell the flight ascendant. Okay,
yeah, I'm like I will likeI will do it once and then after
that I will be like they pressedthe button and be like, excuse me
the person behind me. I alreadytold this person or told her that,
like her son's kicking my check,can you please to walk to her?

(08:43):
I don't know. I just belike I talk to kids. No.
I mean I say stuff like becauseI noticed, like even if I'm somewhere
and I see like for example,on the playground the other day, this
mom was not watching her kid.She was on her phone. She clearly
did not care what was happening.I'm over here, hawk like with my
kids, say yeah, And soher daughter was doing something where she was

(09:03):
clearly gonna she was gonna fall andbreak her arm. Like it was very
apparent. This girl, this isI feel it in my spirit, this
is about to happen, right,So I just told I said, I'm
my baby, don't do that.Don't do that because you're gonna follow Okay,
and her mom. I know hermom heard me because she was right
there and I said it loud enoughand then her mom looked up and she
was like, oh, yeah,yeah, yeah, don't do that.
Basically, she was pent in themoment because she saw that I was parents

(09:24):
of her kids. I listen andso and so, and I intentionally did
that and didn't go tell the mombecause I was like, you know what,
your mom is dumb, your mom, Your mom is do your mama
don't care and don't care about you. So you know, at this moment,
I'm gonna just say something. Ifshe decides she want to say,
don't say nothing to my kids,then I'm gonna be like, that's why
your daughter can break her arm.It's fine with me because I gotta pay
that bill, but you can bemad at me for saying something to your

(09:46):
daughter so she don't break her arm, but that's okay, Like, yeah,
I don't. I mean, Idon't mind. Like it's all about
delivery. And if I'm like ifI'm like, bitch, tell your son,
I mean, of course you're notgonna say that, but I'm like,
excuse me, Hi, I'm sittingright here. Could you please stop
kicking my seat? Yeah, that'sit. And then if it happens again,

(10:07):
I'm gonna go tell the flight attendant. And you know, flight attendants
got attitudes and especially oh my god, like especially I flew a flight recently
and everybody, all the flight attendantswas black. Oh please, you can't
put that there. No, They'relike no, excuse me, no,
like they had everybody in line.So yeah, I mean a lot of
it is yeah, like people justbe I don't know, people just be

(10:30):
trite. I just look at anyThat's why I speak to people's kids,
because I feel like your mama isspeaking to you, and if your mom
or dad has a problem me sayingsomething to you, that will addrest and
say, well you should have saidsomething to that. I shouldn't have had
anything to them. And now wegot two lessons, okay, because now
your kid knows somebody will say somethingto me, and if I do something
wrong, and now mama knows right, like I speak to you. You

(10:50):
ain't a good parent. You haven'tsaid anything to your kid, so you
need to get with it. Solook, I'm gonna talk to your kids.
If they kick them my chair,I'm talking to them directly. I
don't care if they're for five,because I have a four or five year
old, Like of course, Likeyou have to nip that in the butt.
Like it's like with every interaction withlike any human being, Like if
somebody is doing something that is botheringme, yeah, or that is you

(11:11):
know, just becoming a nuisance,Like, yeah, I'm gonna say something.
Yeah, it's all about your delivery. Yeah, if you have got
an attitude, then they probably gonnathrow it back to you. Now,
if they throw you back attitude,then let's go. Right then it's like
let's go, Oh my god,this I want to do this. Okay,
let's do this. Okay, it'smy favorite game. Oh my god,
Like I get to argue with somebodyI don't know, but yeah,

(11:31):
it's I mean, you have tobe I mean everyone, everyone can be
held accountable and that includes kids.Yeah, and I and I only do
that, and I because I becauseI have young children. I know,
like, okay, how can Isay this to this child when they'll be
like okay, I'll listen to misslady, I don't know, you know.
I try to say it in away that like they'll understand, but

(11:52):
also like I've had that. Ithink it happened to me one time,
not on a plant. I forgotwhere we were and my son I didn't
realize because I couldn't see he wastouching something. Maybe it was like the
seat next to him, and itwas somebody. He kept touching their arm.
Yeah, and so I didn't seeit. And so then the guy
was like, oh can He waslike, oh you're He's like, do
you mind not touching my arm?And I was like, oh my gosh,

(12:13):
I am so sorry. Exactly becauseyou're a black parent. I was
like, I am so going ontop of it, right, and that's
and so and an instance like that, I was okay, like I get
why he would say something to myson because he probably was doing what I
would do, which is like excuseme, but he said it in away
that was just like hey, you'relike, you're hitting my arm, like
don't do that. Yeah, he'snice. So I was like, okay,
I'm okay with you saying something tomy kid as long as like,

(12:33):
yeah, you ain't rude, andof course yeah yeah. I mean when
you it's like when a like atwo year old hands you were a telephone,
is like it's for you, likeyou answering right right right. And
when you talk to a kid,like you talk to them and you know
in a way that they are receptiveto and can understand. Yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah, And if you're talkingto a stranger like their parent,
it's like excuse me, hi,can you please ask your child to stop

(12:54):
kicking my seat? Please? Yeah. But also I think because black people
generally, like we we respect personalspace and we don't like being touched,
and we don't like like we weare bury on our kids when it comes
to like nope, because you don'tknow what that person is dealing with going
through or really, I mean,funk all that. Just give me my

(13:15):
space. So and I realized there'skids, especially with like other races.
I feel like, but you know, like even like some of my Asian
family, like sometimes the kids don'tlisten and it's because it's there what is
it like you you treat other people, like even with teachers, you'll treat
other people better than you treat yourmom because you know your mom loves you,
and you know there's nothing you cando that for your mom to like

(13:37):
leave you. So usually yeah,usually kids they treat their like even with
like I've noticed it even with mykids and their father, Like they treat
us like they will cut up withme. I'm like told me when I
was like real small, like Iwill leave you here right, And you
know inherently that your mother loves you, like you know which I also know

(13:58):
that she was like, I willleave you, I asked here in the
store if you do not sign rightright right right, But like you know
your mom loves you, and solike when it comes to strangers, you
don't know, you don't know them, you don't know, like and there's
a whole like I want I wantto appear good to you, you know,
like you have that people pleasing Iguess part of you when you're young
that you really are just like ohyeah, okay as an adult, so

(14:20):
yeah, you don't want to respectexactly, so like you listen to them
to a degree depending on what age, and so that's why I like,
I realized even some parents are overwhelmedbecause I think about it like this.
One time I saw a lady andher child was just everywhere and she was
just sitting there like, and Iwas like, oh my god. Everybody
on that plane was like shut that, get up, and she was right,

(14:41):
and so I to me, Iwas like, Okay, I see
postpridum depression. I see like you'regoing through it as a mom. And
because I'm a mom, I getit. So hey, maybe don't do
that right, okay, because youknow, and then people don't like it.
And I could just see in herface she was like like I'm even
offered to like, if I havethe energy, I'll offer to help.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, likeI'll do it. Like I'm fine.
I love kids, like kids getalong, like you know what, let

(15:05):
me like, like, let meshow you something. Yeah, let me
give you a moment. Yeah,moment, she's getting ready to do something.
She's gonna leave you on a curb, so let's come on over here,
right exactly. So yeah, Ithink it's a I think the airline
and this is an overseas airline.I mean, I think it's a money
grab But I mean, I'm like, look, if y'all would rather pay
money then to actually confront someone,then you get your money, give up

(15:28):
your coins, and baby, right, you still gonna hear them cry.
And that's what I'm saying because it'sonly a wall and a curtain. And
I was like, oh, ifthem kids are screaming, that curtain is
not gonna do anything, is stupid. You still need to get your noise
canceling headphones. You still need toget like your eye masks. Oh all
day. I bought when we wentwhen we went to New York in June,
I found this hoodie that had alike when you lift it, yeah,

(15:52):
when you lift it up on yourhead, it has like little built
in eye shades. What so Imean I have fake lashes, so I
couldn't really like use it, butI always carry my like my mask that
accommodates fake lashes with me everywhere becausewhen I go to sleep, I'm like,
good night, and I needed tobe black. But yeah, yeah,
I was like, I don't carelike kids are like we've all been

(16:15):
children, yeah yeah yeah, andyou have to, you know, give
the child some grace and you gotto give the parents some grace, because
I'm telling you, it's it's likethe worst overwhelming feeling when you know your
kid is cutting up and you're tryingeverything and nothing else happening. Then it's
just like I'm sorry, y'all.Do you feel like parents should apologize to
people around them if their kids actingup? Yeah, I mean if it's

(16:37):
a situation where like you're telling yourkid like, yo, cut it out,
and they're like Noah, that's Imean, that's an issue between like,
you know, you you as aparent, and you not being able
to convey what you want to yourchild, and you know, honestly,
sometimes some kids are just like wow. But yeah, like I'm and I'm
always very of my surroundings. Thatnot to the point where like I necessarily

(17:03):
care what other people think, butI but like I want to make sure
that if I can make everyone's timelike smooth, then I want to do
that. Yeah you know, butyeah, I'm like I'll offer to help
or I'll I mean, because complainingand like people be like shut you up,
your fucking care, like that's notdoing anything, Like what are you
going to do? So I getit. So yeah, I mean,

(17:26):
if y'all want to pay out extramoney because you're still going to hear them
kids, Go ahead and waste yourmoney. There you go anyway, Hey
you guys, and hey Meg,we're halfway through the year. Yes,
oh my god, we're more thanhalfway. We are. Oh, that's
right, We're more than halfway.Oh my god. So I want to
challenge us all as I'm being recordedby all these devices, to do ad

(17:47):
digital detox. So we're gonna divedeep into the connection between our screens is
our mental well being. So,whether you're scrolling through social media or glued
to your work emails, or evenlistening to this podcast on your favorite device,
stays tuned for some eye opening insights, practical tips, and a renewed
perspective on the role of technology inour lives. Is like as soon as

(18:11):
you said in, my hands startsshaking, like wait, well, I
know thee Oh my god. So, if you're loving the emani state of
my podcast, which you are,and which this is, please rate and
review us on your favorite podcast app. And also if you're watching us on
YouTube, smile comment on how you'refeeling and like the video, and be

(18:32):
sure to describe to our channel bysmashing the subscribe button. Yes, click
click, yes, we do talkabout yeah, so let's get into it.
Yay, like so excited about nothing? Okay, so you know what
time it is. It's time forour favorite segment. It's time for ask

(18:55):
Doctor Emani anything. Yes, andwe love reading your letters and we are
ready for some more questions. Sowho's our first letter from to that?
It is from Sean, Hey Sean, and it reads, dear doctor Emane
and Meg, I need your help. I am a people pleaser. I
say it's to everything, even whenI know I need to say no.
I will over extend myself to helpothers, all because I don't know how

(19:18):
to say no. Doctor Yourmiani,I know you're good at saying no.
How do you do that? Iwant to stop being a people pleaser,
but I don't know how. Myhusband says, I'm always doing way too
much for everyone. I am justexhausted being everything to everyone. But I
literally can't say no to anyone.I will double and triple book myself for
events and friend celebrations because I can'tsay no. I'm worried I'm going to

(19:42):
burn myself out every time I sayyes. When I want to say no,
I am so upset with myself.I have no idea why a two
letter word is so hard for meto use. Please help, okay,
signed Megan, because I'm a peoplepleaser, So help, okay, help
me. So I had wrote thisin but it really says Sean Okay.

(20:03):
So Sean, here's the thing.You you know what the issue is,
you know what the solution is.But what's getting in the way is that
you have this guilt that you'll letsomeone down or so there's this guilt,
but then there's also it's like you'reguilty because you feel like you might might

(20:26):
let someone down, and then you'realso left with this feeling of like,
oh my god, I'm so overwhelmed. So you got to be true to
yourself, Like, so, howis it easy for me to say no?
Aside from the fact that I've hadlots of practice and people that I've
grown up around are fabulous as sayingno. I really my mom and my
dad are perfect, are great atsaying no. A lot of it is

(20:49):
that you I'm not going to sithere and say, hey, Sean,
just start doing it. Just startsaying no to everybody, because you're still
going to carry around that guilt.I feel like whatever the issue that you're
having is with like saying no topeople is somehow related to something that happened
in your past, where like youwere let down and you don't want somebody

(21:12):
else to feel the same way,or you know, I don't know,
I'm just kind of hypothesizing, butwhatever it is, you need to get
to the bottom of it. Andhow do you get to the bottom of
that You go to therapy. Therapy. You go to therapy, yes,
and you need to essentially go togo to therapy, talk to your therapist
about like I need to change thisbehavior. What is it rooted in?

(21:33):
Yeah, yeah, that's like actuallythat's how I started to become better at
this because I've always been a peoplepleaser. I've always been like, yes,
I'll do that, Yes, I'llhelp you. No good and one
I don't have the time, Idon't have the mental capacity, but I'll
still say yes mm hmm. Andso like when in therapy, I learned
like the root why I was doingthis and why I needed to like help

(21:56):
get help for it. But basically, like I never had boundaries. I
was never good with boundaries because Igrew up from people who just said yes
to everything. My parents are thatkind of way as well. So just
like you said, you grew upwith people who said no, it's easier
for you because you were and Iwas the opposite. My parents said yes
to everybody, We'll help everyone,and so it was just like, that's
overwhelming and that's not realistic. Andso at this big age, I'm like

(22:19):
learning to say no to things.And what happens is when someone there's this
initial feeling as soon as someone askedyou to do something, you know in
a split second whether you really wantto do it or yeah, don't.
And so what happens is now inthat split second when I know for sure
do I really want to do thisor I really don't want to do this,
but I feel obligated to, Likein that moment, it's like,

(22:42):
Okay, I've learned. I haveto have a conversation with myself, right
because because as soon as soon asI see the ask, I'm like yes,
and that means I shouldn't do it, right, And so I have
to go, Okay, Megan,why are you trying to say yes?
Besides your guiltiness? Like what elseare you? Why are you saying yes?

(23:04):
Because you don't have the time forthis, You don't have this.
Is there anything else you can suggest? Because you feel like you so want
to help and you so want tosave the day, So what else can
you suggest that is a compromise?Maybe for what they're asking? What you
can give a number one? Numbertwo? If there is no compromise,
Like what's gonna happen If you sayno, You're gonna have more time and

(23:26):
usually you'll feel better, right,But usually when you your people please,
you think about the other person first, So you're like, what happens with
them? Okay? If I sayno, they're asking me to do this?
Is there somebody else that can helpthem? Is right? Like I
have to literally go through the scenariolike I'm just but right, but maybe
somebody else can help them? Beokay, something right? Like I have
to literally go through that, andthen I'm like, okay, it's fun

(23:48):
we respond no, I can't helpyou this time. And then and then
also learning that no period is acomplete sentence because to me, it's always
no, but here's why. AndI'm like I'm in the process of learning,
like I don't have to give thema reason. I just be like,
no, I can't do it.No, I can't and that's okay.
Yeah, that's okay. Yeah.I literally like you should see my

(24:11):
text. I'll be like no,but here's blub bla blah and I'm like,
no, delete delete delete. Yes, it's okay to say no.
It's okay to say now and keepit moving, right, Because unlike Meg,
I am not I guess thinking ofother people. I'm very selfish and
I'm just like no, sorry,right, No, I can't. So
really, with most things, myanswer is no, unless it's like food

(24:36):
or like marijuana. I'm just kidding. So so yeah, thank you so
much for that letter. I hopeSean. Yeah, hopefully Sean, that
helped you. Okay. Our nextletter comes from Shemiah and here's what she
says. Doctor Imani and Meg.I am nineteen years old and a sophomore
in college. I have a roommatefrom Hell. I've tried talking to her,

(24:56):
but she's so passive aggressive we neverget anywhere with a productive conversation.
She borrows my clothes without asking,has a loud af sex all hours of
the day, leaves a trail ofdirty dishes all over the room. She
honestly doesn't think anything she does iswrong. I'm trying to be like a
Michelle Obama and go hi when shestays low, but I am getting tired

(25:17):
of the disrespect. Every time Iask my resident assistant to give me a
room change, she begs me tostay and promises to change, but the
change doesn't last long. I missedmy last deadline to change rooms for this
first semester, so I'm stuck withher until at least the end of the
year. So I need your adviceon how I deal with a self centered
and passive aggressive roommate. Please helpme before I lose my mind. Okay,

(25:42):
who has been a minute since Ithought about like myself living in a
dorm. Well, I had aroommate, Yeah, I had a recently,
well not recently, but like withinthe last ten years, I've had
a couple of roommates. Yeah,but I will say this. I had
a situation where that I had aroommate that was like just our definitions of
like cleaning, we're different, ourdefinitions of like what a good roommate is.

(26:07):
What's different, right, And whatI realized is like, Okay,
well a don't miss the deadline girl, Like yeah, Okay, that's number
one. Number two, if somebody, if you find you can't live with
someone like this is supposed to beyour safe place where you go and get
away from all the craziness in theworld. So a like maybe room with

(26:29):
someone that you know you can dofor the next semester. Or if it's
a situation where you just don't knowanybody you can room with and you just
get you just need to move tomake sure you do that before the deadline.
Okay, that's that's on. Youshouldn't miss the deadline. But since
you missed it, here's what yougotta do with this girl. Number one.
Pon her bed just you know whatI mean in a way, because

(26:55):
let me tell you, so Pianher bed, fart on it. Do
whatever Piana bed on her bed.Okay, so what you might want to
do. And this and I'm onlyspeaking, this didn't happen to me,
but it happened to somebody that Iwas also in college with. So guys
are notoriously like gross, right Imean, And this particular person was very

(27:17):
neat, and he had a messyroommate. And so his roommate like he
was already like on like his roommatewas already on his shit list. But
then his roommate got really drunk onenight and threw up like all over the
room, and so for the restof the semester he was like, I'm
not speaking to you, Like I'mnot speaking to you. So you might
want to throw up on her bed. You might want to stream right now,

(27:41):
poop butter bed all type of excrement, Just smear it everywhere and maybe
they'll say you're crazy and give youyour own room. Yeah, but right,
But also like Shmia, I justwant to like, this is obviously
a learning experience for you because you'reyoung. Like, just because somebody says
they're going to change, you haveto go by their action. Yes,
boom, she is fucking dudes orfucking whoever, all loud and shit.

(28:03):
You know that's how she gets down, right. You can tell somebody like
can you please be quiet, Butthey're not going to remember that when they're
in the moment, whether they're likehaving fun or whether they like having that's
with somebody like you. Just honestly, I would say at this point,
what you probably need to do isyou need to like see if you can

(28:25):
set up a partition in your roomlike they make they sell those at like
Target and stuff like you can addor yeah, but you can still hear
everything, and it sounds like theyhave more of a sweet and not like
a dorm where your beds are,because the way she described it, she's
like, I can hear them,but it's not like like in my storm

(28:45):
room my freshman year. It waslike, no, this is my side,
my side. There's I think whatI've been seeing a lot of in
like these. I guess this generationthey beget like sweets, whereas like they
have, they share the common area, right, and then they have their
own room. So it's kind ofit sounds kind of like that because she
was like, I can hear them, but not necessarily I see them right

(29:07):
now, right, and she's leavinga trail of dishes, So it sounds
it seems like they have a littlemore space. Yeah, so maybe you're
in a sweet situation. So eventhough the deadline to get a new roommate
has passed, I'm sure there's away you can go talk to whoever's boss
is above the boss you're talking,right, because the residence hasn't got a
boss. And so if you're goingthrough and saying, you know, like

(29:30):
this is harming my like schooling,this is I can't concentrate. This is
the things that are happening. I'vedocumented this, document everything, I've documented
this, I've talked to the raseveral times. Blah blahlah blah whatever.
Then that person can talk to yourmaate exactly, or even if that is
like you, now that the deadlinehas passed, I'm sure there's some opening
somewhere. They know there's always anempty room somewhere, okay, exactly,

(29:52):
and just just schmooth some people andthey'll get you moved. Girl, You
just gotta go just be relentless everyday after and you're gonna break in between
classes, go sit in that inthe housing office. I guarantee you they
gonna be like, Okay, thisgirl is here every day, right,
we need to get her. Justget her a room, God, get
her a new room. They'll they'lldo it. Persistence is key here,
Okay, but that girl ain't gonnachange, so she's gonna continue to be

(30:15):
nasty. So until you pee inher bed, sorry, yeah, until
you pee a throw off my bed, I'm sorry. Luckily I got along
with my roommate first year because literallyyeah, like mine, even though it
was like actually it was one ofmy best friends. That was my roommate
my first year, so we kindof knew each other, but they were
still things that I learned about herliving with her, and I was like,

(30:37):
Okay, we're different, but nobodyis going to be just like you.
And I had to learn that,Like, Okay, Megan, you
gotta be compromising for some things becauselike basically you got to learn what your
compromises are when it comes to livingwith somebody because some of the things they're
just not gonna do because they grewup different. So what things can you
be like okay, and what thingscan you be like uh uh yeah.
I just want to shout out myvery first roommate Can when I was a

(31:00):
freshman, because we were the same, like we like we showed up,
we had the same hair. Butdid y'all know each other? No?
Oh wow? Like she like shewas like, I'm very neat. I
was like me too, Like wewere. I mean it was like we
were in sync. So that israre, I know it was. It
was that was a godfriend. Itwas very rare. Yeah, No,
it was awesome. So so bigup to Kim. Yeah, Hi Kim,

(31:23):
So yeah, you know what.So I hope that Sean and Samiah,
I hope that we were able tohelp you out with our advice.
Oh sorry, and so let mejust say it again. So those were
some great questions. So thank youagain to Sean and Shmia for sending those

(31:45):
in. Yes, thank you,because we love these letters that y'all send,
so keep them coming. So ifyou have any problems, a question,
you just want to release some steam, please hit us up by sending
an email to hello at Imani stateofminddot com as a reminder. You can
keep it all the way real withus. Okay, you can even use
you know, a fake name ifyou want real name, can cur are

(32:06):
you use a real name because theyneed to know it was about them that
you talk. Pictures if you want, like, if you need like you
know, some visual love it.Okay, doctor Mina, let's get into
this deep dive. So it's nosecret we live in a very like hyper

(32:28):
connected world where yes, where's yourphone? Because my phone is right there,
My phone is across the room chargingand oh my god, I do
feel a little wired that it's nothere. Isn't that sad? I feel
really weird about I need a taokay, because like from the moment we
wake up until we lay down,usually that's the first and last thing we
see, which is so bad.It's so have you ever paused to think

(32:50):
about the impact like these screens arecausing. Yeah, Like I so I
wear glasses. As you guys cansee, my vision's getting worse. And
so I've read recently that like,so these glasses was my point. My
point is that these glasses have thatblue light filter, oh yeah, which
I didn't know existed until like maybeten years ago. But I always believed

(33:16):
that, Like since I was inmy late teens early twenties, I often
had to take science classes and wehad to look in microscopes all the time,
and so I'm far sighted and soI really can't see things that are
very small and close up. Andit's getting worse. And I definitely feel
like legit, within the last likethree years, my vision like reading just

(33:39):
like little text. I'm just likeI can't read with us us okay,
honestly, like like when do Iencounter this the most? When I go
to the dispensary. When I goto the dispensary and I'm like, I
don't okay, what percentage of THACis that? Because I can't see.
Oh, you need a magnifying glass. I'm like, I need this weed
from my gla coomas. I'm justkidding, but I'm like, I'm sorry,

(34:01):
I cannot read. Like what doesthis say? It's just a bunch
of like are their aunts funny age? I'm like, I know. I
got mad at the last automotous Isaw because he was like, well,
you're getting a little older, sowe should check your vision. Oh,
like, bitch, you should checkyour vision. Trying to help you.
I was so mad and then heand then I was like, he was
like, okay, so let's doan examine. I was like, and

(34:23):
then I know. But then Igot my glasses that I was like,
oh my god, I can seeeverything thing. Oh so I was like,
bitch. I was like, yo, mom, can't say anyway.
Sorry to help you. He waslike, okay, yeah, if you
could just read this, I waslike, yo, mom, is a
hop I'm just kidding. That's notwhat happened. I did. I did

(34:45):
read it, but yeah, likebluel like screens from blue light can effect
even like kids eyes like I've seenglasses at the store, like, oh,
here's some blue light glasses for yourkids, because kids are on devices
like from like two years old.So I will certainly say that I have.

(35:05):
I've done like little baby digital detoxes, like I've been like, okay,
I'm not on Facebook no more,or okay, I'm not. I
Instagram just gets to be a littlebit too much and I'm just like I
need to just step away from it. But am I literally away from my
phone? Probably not, because mylike my books are in here, and

(35:28):
like other stuff is in here.I just pretty much avoid. Like I
like, I have an iPhone,and I'm sure you can do this on
other phones too, but you knowyou can create like a folder and it'll
just say like mine just says socialOh yeah yeah yeah. So I put
it in a place where like Idon't really I don't like it's not going
to be easily accessible. That doesn'twork. It works from me, girl,

(35:49):
Let me tell you this is whatI did to Instagram because I was
like, that's like my most usedapp, right, Okay, I delete
you know how you're on an iPhone, you can delete the icon. Yeah,
it's still on your phone. It'snot right, so I delete it.
So that was like, oh,so that way it won't be like
easily accessible because I have a socialfolder, right, and it was in
my social folder. So I waslike, let me just delete it so
I'm not always like like because it'slike muscle memory, I'll just go here,

(36:10):
and you know I did and said, like, in order for me
to find it, I have totype Instagram in the search and then the
icon pops up. But then yougotta download it again. No, no,
so you can. You have theoption of deleting, like removing the
app completely or just removing it fromyour screen. Right. So I removed
the icon from my screen, butit's still on my phone. Right,

(36:30):
So now instead of like clicking openingthe social folder and clicking it, now
I have to just type I nST and it. That did not change
no habits. I literally just belike I in a seapoop. I'm like,
oh my gosh, this is supposedto like help me not get on
Instagram a lot. Yeah, No, I like it's I mean, I
feel bad for like teenagers and like, you know, even kids that are

(36:52):
younger, because like I mean,I we all like social media to a
certain degree. But then there comesa point where it's like, like you
can't help but to not compare.Yeah, and then once I get to
that point, I'm like, no, bye, goodbye. I'm like I
because a lot of the stuff thatI tend to like tend to be things

(37:12):
that our guests are associated with,like younger, like a younger demographic.
And then I'll be like, ohmy god, I love that, Oh
my god, oh my god,Like why doesn't that And I'm like,
EMII, because you are forty sevenyears old, okay, but you don't
look it's exactly yeah. But I'mlike, I'm like, you cannot compare
yourself to a twenty year old person. Yeah, no, how different?
And then so and then when youit's something that you just said, like

(37:32):
it makes me think, okay,like for kids, so in our generation,
screens are new, right, likethis is not a we didn't grow
up like this necessarily. I think, Like when I think about my son,
because he's wants to turn five,like that's all he knows. He
doesn't know a world where there's noiPad or there's no computer, there's no
phone. So I'm sitting here likehow do you how do you do that,

(37:57):
or how do you teach children likein this era that they don't need
their screens? Because you have ason who's sixteen, right, So like
do you ever things always in frontof a screen? That's what I'm saying.
So like I don't even know ifthey know how to function without it.
Like I saw this this boy likekilled his mom because she took away
his iPad. Okay, you knowwhat? Okay? Pause? So I

(38:19):
was like, yo, like howthese kids are very connected to these things?
But also like how do they notbe in this day and age?
Of course, because everybody has aphone in their face, Like it's your
alarm clock, your camera, yourfucking book reader, your emails in there.
What's the weather gonna be? Like? It's in I mean, everything

(38:39):
is in there. I told myson not to look at his I was
like, no, we're not doingno iPad right now. He was like,
I'm bored. What do I do? I was like, oh my
gosh, I failed you. It'sa mom. I said, you got
a thousand million toys right now?What you mean what do I do?
And I was like yeah, Andthat flashed before my eyes, that boy
that killed his mom for taking hisiPad I'm I was like, yo,

(39:00):
wait, this is the beginning ofthat. This I do remember reading that,
but I also remember Okay, sovery recently, like almost two weeks
ago, my son went on aclass trips. And so this class trip
occurred before they actually officially started school. So they were gone for a weekend.
They went like they went canoeing.Yeah, they went up to northern

(39:23):
California and they went canoeing down theRussian River. And and so my son
was telling me, okay, sofirst of all, first of all,
they specifically said, like, youknow, this is going to be a
device free trip. Now he broughthis phone, but I need to know
where my son is at all time. So I ordered air tags. I

(39:43):
put the air tag in his likebag because he always had his bag with
him, so I could always seewhere he was. Okay, So there
was that. But when my soncame back, I was like, yeah,
how was it. He was likeit was actually He's like it was
good and bad. And I waslike, oh, it was the bad
part not having your phone, andhe was like, no, actually he
was like I actually really kind ofliked it, and and it just made

(40:05):
me better able to like bond withlike my classmates. And now did he
get back home and immediately get onthe computer. Of course he's did.
But you know, that's the worldthat we're like living in. I mean,
it kind of reminds me of likelike like back in the day,
I would talk to my friends andyou know, we'd be grounded at various
times and it would be like youcan't watch TV, you can't listen to

(40:28):
the radio, and that was alreadylike right, like oh my god.
But I mean but with a radioand a TV, you got to you
don't carry it around like you don'tfeel like it's personal, Like you're not
personalizing, you know, like oh, on my phone, I have this
purple case and this pink thing,like it really becomes an extension of you.
It is, and you use itso much for everything, GPS for

(40:51):
you know, right, So Ithink the thing is really with kids,
it's like listen, we're going likethis actually comes uh brings us the topic
of like how to do a digitalthese times? Yes, exactly. So
I have never specifically been like nophone because I get my work emails on
my phone and I would prefer forpeople to text me versus page me,

(41:15):
because pagers drive me crazy. Youstill have a pager. They still use
those. Doctors use those too.I mean, well I don't. I
mean when I was a resident,when I was a resident physician, like
sometimes I would carry two pagers andit was just like that is raining.
Yeah, I was like, Idon't want, Like, I just I
can I can better rationalize my phonebuzzing because it's on vibrate as opposed to

(41:38):
a pager. It's just I'm justlike, what's happenings. Yeah, I
just get exactly, I get PCSD. So I would just I would tell
myself like okay, like if I'mon vacation, I'd be like, you
know what, I'm not going tolook at my phone until like noon today
or what I'll do sometimes like Ido little like kind of baby little baby

(42:00):
mini digital detox is and I'll belike, Okay, when you get up
in the morning, you cannot immediatelycheck you out. Yeah, that's a
big one, I think for alot of people, because that's like it's
so easy to roll over, turnyour alarm clock off that's on your phone,
and now I'll go through the NSTexactly. But because I was noticing,
like I can check my work emails. But if I check my work

(42:24):
emails and I'm just getting up,like do I really need to respond?
No, like give it a moment, like go purst t right, go
pee first before you do all that. I tell myself if I'm going to
pick up my if I'm gonna pickit up like my phone at that early
in the morning when I first wakeup, then I need to go ahead
and do something positive with this.So I make myself. I make myself

(42:45):
open the Bible app. Okay,okay, you gotta open the Bible app.
You gotta read verses, you gottado everything. And if you don't
feel like doing that, well,guess what. Guess I gotta stay right,
guess what. Your phone has tostay down. And actually that has
been very helpful for me because Iwould immediately like roll and just start scrolling
growing right, and it's like,no, no, no, you can't
do that, Megan, like eithersomething positive or just go do something else.

(43:07):
And we've talked about especially like inthe sense that like as I'm on
my phone right now, like this, like scrolling up, like scrolling vertically
up is very It's very similar tolike how slot machines work and that's why
on Instagram they have it designed likethat and on Twitter because it's been shown

(43:30):
that, like, mentally, weare more apt to pay attention to something
that is just on a never endingloop that we scroll upwards. Oh yeah,
I didn't think about that. Yeah, Like, and there are all
kinds of reasons as to why wedo the things that we do, Like
we think it's intuitive, like,oh, that's just how the phone works
all of this. Like when Ireally want to digital these talks, I

(43:52):
think about stuff like that, likewhat have these people done to make me
be so dependent upon my phone?Yeah, you know, so I'll think
about that, like, oh,these people are really trying to get me
to like gamble, Like like that'strue. Yeah, I'm just like no,
no, absolutely not. So theother thing as we're both looking at

(44:14):
our phones. Why is digital detoxinggood? Digital detoxing is actually really good
for your health, whether you doit for like a day, whether you
like do digital detoxing like for anumber of set hours during the day,
But it's good for your health becauseit reduces stress, it increases your productivity
and create createsivity that improve sleep quality. Because a lot of times people like,

(44:38):
oh, I can't sleep and thenthey get on the phone and now
you're just up because that bright bluelights. Well that and also because whatever's
on your phone is designed to keepyou attentive exactly, so you're not going
to be able to sleep better.And as odd as it sounds, reduced
depression and anxiety and a lot ofthat is because when it comes to social
media, we do compare ourselves towhat we're seeing, and we all know

(45:01):
that everything is heavily filtered, likepeople be photoshopping and stuff like, you
know, to like an inch withintheir lives. But we, you know,
we still are like, oh,that's real, and we're just so
caught up in the moment that wedon't take a minute and be like,
you know what, this person doesnot look this way, right, even
like the models you see, likethey will take that little like phase tune

(45:27):
and take their ways and do likeboop the model body. Yeah the models
are doing that. No, I'msaying every like like Naomi Campbell be doing
that shit like everybody does it.So like it's just it just puts you
in a better frame of mind whenyou can actually live in reality versus living
in a place that isn't real becausethat I mean, in essence, what

(45:50):
we're kind of doing is we're we'relike creating delusions for ourselves. Yeah,
you know, and it's like distractions. Like so for example, I know,
like I always have to check inwith myself because sometimes I find myself
getting overroll overwhelmed being like a wife, a mom, and I'm working from
home and I'm homeschooling, like there'sso sometimes my bathroom escape is like my

(46:12):
way to get just like turn mybrain off for a second. But the
problem is, like I'm going touse the bathroom like leave me alone for
but like that five minutes that Ireally needed to be in the mathroom turns
into like twenty yeah, because I'msitting here like, oh damn, I
gotta get up. So what Irealize now is I have to set an
alarm, literally have to set thealarm on my phone, Like okay,
began, you can get ten minutes, right and then because once you start

(46:36):
scrolling your you forget you time justflop right. So when that alarm goes
off, I'm like, oh,snap, it's been ten minutes. Okay,
well okay, now let me wrapthis up, let me get out
of here like yeah, because I'mgoing to get back to reality. Yeah,
years ago I would there would itwould be no problem for me to
be on Instagram for two hours justlaughing and giggling and looking at stuff and
being like oh I like this.Yeah yeah. And then the other reason,

(46:58):
you know, why it's important todigital is quite honestly, there is
such a thing as smartphone addiction.I'm not saying it's in the DSM five
or that you know, psychology orpsychiatry recognizes it, but there have there
has been a study that tracked itwas like thirty eight teenagers as far as
their smartphone use and found that theydid actually have smartphone addiction and they had

(47:21):
higher scores and depression, anxiety,insomnia, Like it's it's you know,
it's digital detoxing is important. Andalso having a device it's a slippery slope,
you know, it's it's and it'salso really difficult to like you give
a child a device and it's likeokay, well I want to make sure
that you use responsibly and they don'thear you because they're just like swiping,

(47:45):
swiping, like they're just like okay, so you know, you just with
anything you have to just be reallycareful about it. And just like with
a gun, like a gun,can you know, harm people, It
can cause people to feel anxious orYeah, And not that I'm saying a
smartphone or a device is like agun, but it does come with like
a lot of responsibility and it likethis is this has actually been designed to

(48:09):
capture your attention. Yeah, AndI think when you know that, especially
when you have you know, it'sone thing as an adult, well you
have to like, Okay, Iknow what I need my phone for and
I know what I want my phonefor. So it's like do you have
to learn to separate the two.But I think when you give, just
like you if you would give aloaded gun to a child, you need
to run, You got to givethem instructions if you were to do that,

(48:30):
you got to do the same withthe phone. And I know,
like since my kids are little,I'm trying to start them off foot like
good device habits. So one thingis like that device doesn't go in your
room at nighttime, Like there's atime where we leave those out. And
I talked to my older step sonand he was like, well, like
how do you because he grew upwith the phone. So he's like,
how do you expect them to likenot look at their phone at night?

(48:51):
Because he's a teenager. So he'slike, how, Like, I mean,
I would be so mad. AndI was like, but here's the
difference. You grew up with yourphone in your room, right because you
were of the generation where like parentsare like, okay, you have a
phone. Okay, they don't reallyhave rules for you, right, But
now we see the effects of that. So it's like, now because they're
little, I can go, okay, let me start you guys off with

(49:13):
getting you to not ever having yourphone with you at night. So now
it's not a big deal. Whenyou become like thirteen, fourteen years old,
you've never had your phone in yourroom. So because my friend her
her son is like I think ninenow nine or ten, and she was
like, I didn't do that.I didn't She's like, I didn't think
about it because again, it's notlike we had a blueprint for this stuff.
So her son has always had hisiPad, and so she's like at

(49:36):
night, she was like, shewoke up at like three in the morning
to go to the bathroom and thenshe like, look and she's like,
I see this light coming from underhis room. I go in there and
I didn't realize this boy is onthe iPad like every night playing games.
She's like, I don't know whohe's talking to, because like roadblocks you
can talk about, right. She'slike, I don't know, I don't
know. What do you doing.She's like, oh my gosh, she

(49:58):
said, I took it. Itold him. I was like, no,
give me your iPad, and shesaid. He had the biggest fit
of course, and was like throwinglike he was angry, angry, and
she's like, my husband and Ijust had to restrain him. It was
bad because he was so he waslike, no, this is what I
do. This is how So she'slike yes, Like so now they're like
in the process of like, okay, this is how we gotta change things.
These new habits we have to form. Yeah, and so I think

(50:21):
just being mindful that yeah. Forus as adults, like we're good at
or we can be good at likesaying okay, this is my problem,
like let me try to fix it. I'm on my phone too much whatever,
But like for kids, you reallygotta give give them the tools to
have correct digital usage exactly because theythis is their life. They don't they

(50:42):
don't know anything different, right,And that can even include like you don't
turn like you don't activate their WiFi, you know, like like it's only
like you got your device. Yeah, Like like when he was younger,
it was like, Okay, youcan play these games, but you can't
like I'm not turning on your WiFi. Like you can't talk, you
know, like I don't want younobody creeping up on you talking to you

(51:04):
from wherever. So I mean youyou kind of have to just be responsible,
yea, with kids especially, butthen you know with us as adults
and with ourselves, we have toreally just you know, keep in mind
that like we can get addicted tothese things too. Yeah. Yeah,
So and get you an accountability partner. Yeah. Because my husband, he
works in tech. He's really bad. His phone is legit glued to his

(51:28):
hand all the time, all thetime. He's an entrepreneur. So it's
it's but it's gotten so bad.So he told me, he was like,
yeah, I need to stop lookingat my screen like an hour before
I go to sleep, right,And so I've had to be like,
uh, it's time and be like, yeah, you're right getting I'm getting
there. I'm getting there. I'mlike, come on, now, you
said you need to They have theselittle lock boxes on Amazon for that.

(51:51):
No, he ain't. Gon dothat girl, Okay, well they do
because I try to tell him.I was like, you know, they
have apps that will shut your phonedown. You don't have a toy and
then it doesn't like he was like, no, I have run a bit,
I can't do that. And Iwas like, okay, so do
you want help or not? He'llright, like, he'll get there.
Do you want the help or whatHe'll get there. So, so that
being said, you know, devicesare great. Here's my device. I'm

(52:13):
talking to a device. Here's mynot okay, but you know, you
just have to really be careful withnot letting it get to a point where
it becomes a problem for you.So anyway, I hope that was very
helpful because that's all the time wehave today for our deep dive conversation.
Yes, and so look we're aboutto get into pop culture diagnosis. You

(52:34):
don't want to miss this. Rightafter the break, meg, let's get
into our pop culture diagnosis for thisweek. So give us a synopsis on
BMF, which is black money,black mafia family and not blowing money fast
big up to Rick Ross and whowe're diagnosing from this show, yes,

(52:55):
BMF Okay, this is inspired bythe true story of two brothers. They're
from Detroit in the late eighties,and you know, they gave birth to
one of the probably most influential crimesyndicates, syndicates, at least for black
people. You know what I'm saying, they're probably the closest that we got
to a mob. Yeah that's true. You know what I'm saying, because
we never that was an Italian thing, right, Yeah, that's true.

(53:17):
So BMT follows the story of DemetriusFlennery who goes by Big Meach and his
brother Terry Flennery goes by Southwest t. It sheds the light on their partnership
and how it went from being justsuch a drug cartel to and it bled
into the world of hip hop,which is really cool because again for black
people, we didn't have anything likethis, right, right, And so

(53:40):
you know, their belief in familyloyalty was a cornerstone of their partnership,
but it also led to their eventualestrangement. So you know, in this
show, it's about a lot oflove, the American dream and just you
know, black people. So we'regonna diagnose a Big Meech today. I
think I'm Big Meacha, right,okay of course, So okay, so

(54:04):
Big Meach. So as you asyou mentioned there, uh, there's a
set of brothers, there's Big Meachin their Southwest t Big Meach wants to
expand beyond Detroit because the show isset Detroit, and eventually it did expand
beyond Detroit to like Lansing, Ohio, the South Atlanta. So they actually

(54:24):
were out here, like you know, doing big things for you know what
they were doing even though it wasreally bad. But that being said,
you know, I watched I watchedBMF, and I mean I like the
show. As far as diagnosis,I mean, it's pretty on brand with
any other type of mafia type ofshow. Like you have, you have

(54:50):
a person, they grow up andthey emulate, you know, they want
to have a lot of money,and in order to get to this American
dream of you know, just capitalist, they have to essentially like teach themselves
or learn from someone else how tobe ruthless. Yeah, so when I
was watching this, I thought of, you know, oh my god,

(55:10):
snowfall. Oh yeah, Franklin.I was thinking about Franklin. I was
thinking about what's the name New JackCity? Wesley snipes his character like basically
I was thinking about power. Iwas thinking about like, basically, if
you're gonna be in the drug game, you have to be ruthless and you
really have to train yourself how tobe a what psychopath? So really,

(55:36):
yeah, you think he's a psychopath. I think he definitely has psychopathic traits
because there's there's a scene where hegoes to the home of his nemesis and
helps and meets up with the momand she's she has grocries, so he
helps bring her groceries into the house. And so his nemesis is in the

(55:57):
house and she was like, oh, you know, your friend is here
and he helped me with the groceriesand oh you're so sweet and blah blah
blah, and then she leaves.Dude cos in like the dude whose mom
it is, goes into their kitchenand then here's mech with like a gun
pointed right at him, like I'llshoot you right here. I don't even
care. And so it's like foryou for someone to be able to do

(56:20):
that, and then like ten secondslater be like be like, oh,
yes, thanks missus whatever, andthen ten seconds later be like, I
will shoot you dead right in.I mean the fact that you can like
switch it up like that, andthe fact that he could be so nice
and charming and manipulative to his mombecause he wanted to gain Why was he

(56:40):
nice, Sert because he wanted toget access to the house. It wasn't
like, Oh, I'm going tohelp you with their groceries. It was
like I want to get inside yourhouse so that I can Yeah, so
I can essentially like threaten your son, yes, And so I don't necessarily
believe that you know every one ofthese people people, these are characters.
Every one of these characters is necessarilylike born anti social or born to be

(57:06):
a psychopath. But if you're goingto be in this capitalist game, you
have to learn how to be ruthless. And a lot of those qualities are
very they're very consistent with being apsychopath. Like can you be charming and
then be like like that's and honestly, I mean that's what I've had to
undo for myself to a certain degreebecause it was like, oh, we're

(57:30):
you're a doctor now, and you'regoing to be a doctor. And and
it was kind of like they didn'tteach us like, oh, you have
to treat like lesser people like shit. But it was all but but you
would see doctors like treat underlings likeshit, and I didn't want to do
that, so I never have andyeah, now, and I was kind
of like, I don't like weall work together, Like why is it

(57:50):
a big deal? Because some peopleneed to feel because they don't have really
good self esteem some people, Yeah, some people need to feel like I'm
better than you. Yeah yeah,yeah. I was like, I don't
really care. I just want todo my work and go home and get
paid. But in order to reallybe a part of that type of like
drug syndicate lifestyle, you have toembody some psychopathic traits. So big meach

(58:14):
psychopath or I was just gonna diagnosemwith greed. You're greedy? Yeah,
I mean, but that's my diagnosYes, definitely agreed. There's a lot
of people out there that are madgreedy, and in order for them to
get the money they want, theyhave to be like really just like terrible
people. Yeah, so sorry,sorry, that's yeah, that's actually the

(58:36):
character in the movie I mean andthe show is played by Big Meach's actual
son, Like, this is LittleMeach. His real name is Demetrious.
Little Meach is playing his father,which I don't know, the jury's out
on that. If he's the bestchoice, I mean, it's his dad,
but like, where you the bestpick? He's okay to play your

(58:59):
dad? Whatever? Okay, wowe, it's fine, it's your family.
Whatever. We'll give you a past. Yeah. Well that's it for pop
culture diagnosis. Thanks Big Meech.We'll have another fun character to analyze and
talk about on our next episode.So you guys, if you have fictional
character suggestions that you'd like for meto diagnose, hit me up on Oh
my God, hit me up onX or Twitter or whatever, and I

(59:20):
care so weird. I don't care. Yeah, I'm just like, I
don't hit me up on ex Itsounds really stupid, but you know with
Twitter at doctor underscoring MONI, hitmeg up on Instagram at meg scoop,
which is all one word, oremail us both at Hello eddiemanistate ofmind dot
com and if you love us andthe show, which you do, because
if you don't, we'll beat youup, just kidding, okay, love

(59:43):
you. Please remember to rate andreview us on your favorite podcast app or
if you're watching us on the tube, like this video, comment, subscribe
to our channel. We really appreciateit, and we love and appreciate you
too. Yeah. Thanks for tuningin, everybody. Yay Bye,