December 15, 2023 • 46 mins
This year, we’re reaching deep into our stocking to give all of our listeners the gift of gratitude! Whether it’s having made it to the end of the year, practicing wholeness, or understanding how you can better support someone close to you, there’s a lot to be thankful for. Join Dr. Imani and Meg as they share what’s on their gratitude list. Plus, Dr. Imani serves up a pop culture diagnosis on Harvey Specter from USA Network’s hit legal drama series ‘Suits.’
No matter how you celebrate, the Imani State of Mind team would like to wish you all a safe and happy holiday season.
If you'd like to submit a listener letter, please email us at hello@imanistateofmind.com.
No matter how you celebrate, the Imani State of Mind team would like to wish you all a safe and happy holiday season.
If you'd like to submit a listener letter, please email us at hello@imanistateofmind.com.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:16):
Hey, everybody, welcome to you. Mighty said of mind. I'm doctor
E Money and I'm Meg Scoop andthis is this Christmas, is Christmas and
as we dream the trees, howmuch fun it's gonna be together. This
(00:37):
Christmas by your side is pleasing.Bye, Okay, we're caring through the
night and this Christmas we will bea very special Christmas for me. You
(00:59):
do do you do? Do youshake? Ahead? Yes? Every time
Black people say, we always gofor like like the like the the lead
up, like yeah, like this, but like this is Christmas, like
we go to like where the funpart is to sing yes, And I
can't even say so, I don'teven get you know what, It doesn't
matter. It doesn't matter. Everybodythat heard this they joined it with us.
(01:23):
Thank you for that. And forall the white people listening. If
you are listening, that was ThisChristmas by Donnie Hathaway. I know it's
Chris Brown. If you're I knowthat this thirties, This Christmas as a
song is not really like big inyour culture, but amongst Black people,
this Christmas is the like yeah dayyeah, so yeah, I learn that
(01:45):
so that you can be invited tothe Black Christmas exactly, the Black cookout
whatever you know, learn it.Yeah, it's happening. What's going on?
So it's what we're like, tendays away from Christmas, days away
from my birth happy early birthday.Yeah, I'm not really tripping off my
birthday. Did you used to alwaysget like no presence for your birthday or
(02:07):
it was like only Christmas or itwas always separate. Did you have a
birthday party growing up? So I'mnot on my birthday, Like my birthday
just at a weird time of theyear, like no one's gonna do anything
than eve of New Year's Eve.So when I was really little, my
mom used to have my birthday onmy half birthday of June thirtieth, for
(02:30):
real. So you had a summerbirthday and it wasn't even I didn't care.
I would be like, that's whatthey did with Jesus. Okay,
So these birthday nowhere near the summerschool is so so wait, so then
what do you do or what didyou do is like when you were in
like high school, probably went tolike Benni Hanna or something, but not
like a party like with your friendsor anything on your birthday. No,
(02:52):
No, because people are still likeI mean, and like in New York
it was cold. Oh true true. You know you know what when you
had your birthday party this past yearin January, I forgot that your birthday
was the end of December. Yeah, because your party was in January.
So I was like, oh,yeah, she's got a January birthday.
No, I have a December birthday, like what I was actually Peter were
(03:13):
saying, because I was like,well, my birthday is the eve of
New Year's Eve, and he waslike so people still, yeah, like
no, they're not. Why don'tyou have absolutely why don't you do a
New Year's Eve party? That's whathe said, first of all birthday.
But I'm like, I don't care, now you should do it. Yeah,
that's so because people always want tolook to go to a Christmas I
mean to a New Year's Eve party. Plus if it's your birthday, that
(03:35):
makes it even more like, oh, we're going to Sweet Money's or we're
celebrating with her because it's Christmas,it's New Year's Eve, and it's her
birthday. It's just I know I'mgoing to do it. I'm going to
do it because I'm like, mybirthday so doesn't it matter, but like
that's just silly. But girls,nobody really at this big age and nobody
celebrated their birthday. My birthday unlessit's on the weekend, is not the
(03:57):
biggest No, I'm saying, bigage. Once you hit forty, I'm
gonna be forty next year. Liketo me even now, to be honest
with you, once you get pastyour thirty thirty five, like, I
don't think people celebrate their birthday onthe day unless it's like a weekend.
Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, so you might as well
have your little New Year's you know, like New Years New Year's New Year's
(04:18):
slash birthday party. For me,that's what's gonna happen. That sounds like
so much fun. It's gonna befun. It's gonna be great, it's
gonna be fun. I'm excited.So I'll be forty eight. Don't look
at day oh but thirty A thankyou. I went to go get my
bottox recently and the girl she waslike, she was like, do you
(04:38):
want like some like frown line.I was like, she was like,
or do you want to be frozen? I was like, bitch, I'm
like, you know me, kyba baby. Okay, okay, twenty
as I'm like sitting here with thedrink. Okay. Look, so twenty
twenty three is quickly coming to aclose. And it's close. It's close.
(05:00):
What it's some people close? Okay, So twenty twenty three is coming
to a close. It is,it is, And it's easy to look
over the year and make a planfor twenty twenty four based upon what went
wrong this year. But I don'tlike to do that. What if we
ended the year on a happy noteand got ready for next year in the
spirit of gratitude, Yeah, rightbefore Christen and everything. Yay. So
(05:24):
look, today's deep dive. We'regoing to be getting our mind centered around
gratitude this season. Yeah, okay. You can absolutely transform your mental health
through gratitude practices. And with onlya few days left in twenty twenty three,
I think this is the great wayto close the year. I feel
you. I think if people weremore grateful, I don't think they'd be
so caught up in like the commercialismof this holiday season. You don't care
(05:47):
about that, Like I don't,honestly, Like I wouldn't even trip if
I didn't get any presents on Christmaslike I'm not Yeah, I don't care
anymore. When you get older,it's like there's other more important things,
yeah, like living, Like youknow what I held out today or yeah,
it was this morning and it wassomething. It was Neil deGrasse Tyson.
He was talking about dogs and hesaid that one day, one day
(06:10):
for a dog is like a weekin human experience. And I was like,
oh wow, baby, sound sass. And then I was like,
oh my god, I have tomake every day with my dog. Hi,
I know that makes me. I'mlike, oh no, But anyway,
we're here to get happy. We'retalking about gratitude today. So if
you love the Emi State of Mindpodcast, which you do because you're listening
(06:33):
right now and it's my serious voice, please rate and review us on your
favorite podcast app. And if you'rewatching us on YouTube, comment how you're
feeling like this video and subscribe toour channel and also put in the comments
like any topics about mental health thatyou want us to discuss. Yeah,
we definitely want to hear from you. Yeah, we want to hear from
(06:53):
you guys, and we want toyou know, tailor it to things that
you guys want to hear. Soyeah, so we have lots of discuss
so let's get right into it afterthis break. Okay, excuse me,
sip. I just had to takea sip with my drink. It's time
(07:14):
for one of our favorite segments ofthe show, asked Doctor Emiani anything.
Yes, we love reading your letters, we really do, and we're really
for some more questions. So who'sour first letter from today? It is
from Natalie Hay Girl. Dear DoctorEmani and Meg. I have a nosey
ass neighbor who is really getting onmy nerves. Me too. Who The
other day I caught her staring intomy window while I was doing my morning
(07:38):
yoga. Her peeping tom ass reallymessed up my morning's and routine. The
week before that, she stood inthe street and watched me and a friend
chat in the driveway. I reallywant to know what her fascination is with
me and my family, but myhusband said she is a harmless old lady,
and I don't want to come offas an angry black woman on the
block. The more my husband tellsme to let it go, the more
(07:59):
I get upset. Why does sheget to be nosy and all up in
our business? And I just haveto deal with it. I paid too
much money to live here to feeluneasy in my damn house. What is
a nice way to get my neighborout of my damp business? Is your
name? But like an old whitelady, Yes, obviously I was gonna
say, you didn't have to asset. I know, I have a neighbor,
and as nice as he wants tobe, my goodness, I kind
(08:24):
of have. I mean I kindof like I iced him out because it
was kind of like when I triedto like we were cool. When I
tried to be cool with him,like he would just he would just like
show up sometimes and I was justlike, damn, what you don't need
show up at like your doorstep.Yeah, Like there was one particular time
where he like my house and hishouse were built like at the same time,
(08:46):
so that there's new construction. Sowe have a lot of similar features.
So he was asking me about likelike whether my shout, Like he
was like, oh, do youhave hot water this morning? And I
was like, yes, it iseight three. Don't have the same water
heater. I'm like, we havedifferent water heaters. Yo, you don't
have no hot water. That's youneed to call somebody. Yeah. So
(09:07):
I mean, I'm assuming that thisis a nosy white woman because like I
know exactly what's going on, what'shappening. She's jealous, no, because
she said she makes a lot ofmoney. Oh yeah, She's in this
nice house, in this nice neighborhoodand there's an old white lady neighbor.
She's probably wondering why the blacks arein her neighborhood. Or she's wondering she's
(09:28):
like, hey, none of themlook like they play basketball. That could
be it too, for real,that could be it. She's probably if
for her generation, I'm sure she'sjust kind of like I've never like y'all
own this, y'all live? Like, is there drugs running through here?
Let me tell you, you tellyou what happened. Like this was like
a month ago. My parents cameto like drop off something and they were
(09:50):
leaving. So I'm talking to mymom and my mom and my dad and
Peter's outside and so we're all justlike chatting and they're like about to head
off. And this white man,this is a Sunday morning, This white
man drives his car like past us. This motherfucker almost ran into a tree,
like he was like, what arey'all doing? What are y'all congregating
(10:11):
all negroes congregating over here? Forit first it was it was really like,
oh my god, there's like blackpeople, like I don't think he
ever knew like who lives here,even though I try to make it known,
because like clearly in the front,you know what I'm saying, I
have a red, black and greenflag. Like I'm just kind of like
I don't know, like what elseto say, you know what I'm saying.
(10:33):
So it was blacks live here,that's right, this is a black
home. Okay, blacks live here, but that white man legit almost like
jumped the curve. It's so funnybecause I live in that I live in
a very big white neighborhood. There'sI can count black families on one hands,
and are they nice to you?Are they say they're actually really nice?
However, you can tell like it'sa it's an older neighborhood, so
(10:56):
there's people who've been there for likethirty years and now they like I'm starting
to see there's more younger families startingto take over. But like for Halloween
a few months ago, it waswe were it's into golf community. So
I got a golf cart. Sowe were in our golf cart trick or
treating and we went up to theseneighbors that we hadn't seen, and I
think they were like, oh,they've let here's some people from another neighborhood.
(11:22):
They came to our neighborhood to gettheir good candy. And so as
we're a golf car girl, soy'all sold the golf carts. So they
probably, I don't know what theythought. They thought took someone's golf We
borrowed a golf I don't know.So we're in there and and my husband
has like locks, like so wedon't look like we belong in this community
technically, right, But our housewas one of the biggest on the block.
(11:43):
So when she's like, oh,hi, and she was like hello,
we were talking to another neighbor andI was like, yeah, we've
been here for X amount of years. This older white lady was like,
oh, you guys live here,and I was like yeah, Like I
wanted to say some expletives, butI was just like, yeah, we
lived here. And she was likeactually, and I was like, oh,
we live on the house over here. She's like that big gray house.
(12:03):
Yes, the big gray house.The first her reaction, I was
like, yes, that's our house. She was like oh okay, like
she was now interested in talking tous, and she was like oh,
and I'm sitting here like wow,you really thought because we're black and we
look the way we looked, thatwe didn't belong here, and it was
just like okay. So I feellike that's going on with this letter,
is that this she really just doesn'tthink that y'all belong there, And for
(12:26):
her to think it's okay to comein your window and be a peeping tom,
I'm gonna call the police on you. I'm gonna call the police.
I don't care. I don't careif you're seventy five years old, you're
a white person looking in my window, I will call the police on you.
Let me tell you what I've done, and maybe this is something you
can do. I don't know ifyou you know, if your community like
has like a like a what doyou call it a homeowners association or something?
(12:48):
Yeah, so my neighborhood doesn't,thankfully. So what I've done over
the past year is I've put upmore ficus trees and I actually literally built
like a fence, so like there'syeah, so myself and my neighbor we
share essentially, like not we don'tshare the property line, but my trees
(13:11):
and his trees commingle, okay,but I would still kind of like see
them, and also like my dogdoes not like them. So I was
like, you know what, I'ma build a wall. So I built
a fence. Like so there's there'slike my property, then trees, then
like a little space and then afence and you know, like, yes,
(13:33):
I'm losing a little bit of space, but like it's like the muddy
part of my yard anyway, LikeI don't care. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. So I would say,you know what, girl, you need
to landscape. Yeah, landscape.Invest in some cameras around your house.
Yeah, I mean you should dothat anyway for safety purposes. But then
you can have recorded and documented likevideo of this neighbor being nosy and look,
(13:54):
you and you and your racist waysthat you grew up with can get
the smoke because I will call thecops on you, just like I would
call them on anybody else that's comingto that's coming on my property. And
here's the other thing I live inGeorgia, so I had a right to
shoot you. Okay in Georgia.Okay, you come on property. I'm
an covered there with a gun.Hello, Hello, miss Betsy. Can't
(14:18):
be over here looking. Yeah,I'm gonna be tote my gun in her
face because you can't coming over here, miss Betsy. A matter of fact,
what I would have done if thatwas the case, she over here
looking at me doing yoga, Iwould have got my gun and I would
have pointed it. Oh if youmiss Okay, people look in the window.
You know you're on my property andI have every so you gonna be
(14:39):
real scared that I have, yeah, weapons in this house. Don't come
looking here, don't get don't becoming over here looking like that. No,
no, boo boo, you willcatch the smoke. So I say
this to say your husband is like, yeah, she's a harmless old lady,
but she is breaking the law bytrespassing. So you can either build
some fences or you you can goahead and get some cameras so you can
(15:01):
document her being all up in yourbusiness. And next time you see her
stop in the street when you overretalking to your friends, Hey, miss
Betsy, do you is everything?Okay, you should get the cameras where
you can like like there's voice.Oh yeah, I have that so you
can be like can I help youwith something? Can I help you?
Yeah? Yeah? No, okay, all right then yeah, I mean
(15:24):
that's what I would do, andyour every right. You have every right
to be upset. That's not cool, and you should feel comfortable in your
own home. I don't. Idon't like when I'm at home. This
is my saction, Like I don'twant to deal with no no pop ups.
I don't want to. Like Itold my parents. They were like,
oh, you're gonna build a fence. I was like, yeah,
I gotta build the wall. Igotta build the wall. You gotta look
(15:46):
like what Trump said, Trumps buildthe wall. So I did. Yeah,
I did, so keep these whitepeople out. So so yeah,
so thanks for that letter. Yes, okay. Our next letter comes from
Olivia James. Here's what they wrote. Dear Josh REMANI and Meg, my
best friend of twenty seven years isfinally getting married and oo wie she is
a bridezilla. The girl just toldme I need to gain fifteen pounds to
(16:08):
be in the wedding because I can'tbe skinnier than her on her wedding day.
Every little thing I do, she'sthreatening to take me out of her
wedding. The most recent thing thatmade me want to write to y'all was
her telling me I needed to cutmy hair in a bob for the wedding.
I told her I would get asewing or a wig to get the
look she had a mind for meto wear. She told me I was
(16:29):
trying to ruin her wedding with fakehair. It's started to hurt my feelings,
right, damn. And you haven'tseen these new lace fronts girls?
They look good. Same, Okay. It's starting to hurt my feelings and
pissed me off at the same timehow she's acting. We've always dreamed and
talked about what our weddings would belike when we got married, and she
is sucking all the air in frontout of this moment. It is to
(16:52):
the point I don't want to bein the wedding show up or have her
in my wedding one day. Ifshe keeps up these crazy ways and demands,
I am not sure we will evenbe friends anymore. How do I
save this friendship and be there forher on her big day. You should
quit. You should quit if youstill want to be friends. Quit,
Yeah, if you still want tobe friends, like be like, you
know, I can't be a riseand I'll be a guest. And if
(17:15):
she's all happy and puffy and shit, I mean, listen, I have
been married. I didn't do likea whole you know, to do.
I didn't do enough to even qualifyas a bridezilla, Like I kept it
very quiet. Yeah, it isobvious that there are people in this world
who when they get married, thisis like the culmination, Like this is
(17:36):
their time to not only shine,but to like get back at everyone.
Like it's like, in order tobe a bridezilla, there has to be
some negativity that's swirling about. Yeah, and this it also tells me that
she does have some resentment towards youa little Yeah, you got to gain
weight, so she always she's probablya little bit jealousy you're skinny of her
(17:57):
like in regular life. So thisis the one time she's like, oh,
yeah, I can flex on her, so she can't gain weight,
she get it fatter, right,Yeah, I would. I would,
I mean quickly tell her, likeI can't be your brise maid, like
and and honestly, I feel it'sthe best thing for you too, Olivia,
because like I don't even understand likehow I personally could not be I
(18:22):
wouldn't want to be around my bestfriend and I certainly would not want to
like help her out with anything.Yeah, And like I think, for
you know, every every friendship,even best friends, can go through seasons.
You may not always be tight andthickest thieves y'all's entire friendship. This
might just have to be the timein y'all's friendship where y'all just hain't friends.
(18:42):
Yeah, this is this is likethis respect If y'all are really best
friends, then she knows how youfeel about your body, she knows how
you feel about your hair, likeshe's doing the most. So you may
just have to step back and keepyour boundaries and just accept that this is
a time where we just can't befriends. Yeah. And the dream that
if y'all had about being in eachother's weddings, like you're just going to
(19:03):
have to grieve that because this isnot okay. You know any bride Zilla
and like if you've ever watched thatshow, have you ever watched it?
Everything? And these women are lying. I was like, there's no way
they can be but show. It'scrazy. Show, But that's what I'm
saying. They really do feel likethat. So if that's she don't want
you to wear a wig that lookslike your real hair, yea, she
(19:23):
has some issues. You must haveunquote better hair than her, your skinnier,
So she has issues with you andshe's trying to, like I guess,
flex her power over the insecurities shehas through her wedding. Yeah,
and yeah, you know what,I love your friends, I will do
I can't do this, like Ican't do this and I love you yeah
(19:44):
yeah, yeah, that's why I'mpulling out of this, like this is
crazy. Yeah yeah yeah yeah.So Olivia, you know, just not
cut ties with your friend, butcut ties to this wedding. Yeah.
And then you know, if ifshe's your best friend, then give her
a little grace because you obviously knowlike she apparently has been waiting for this
forever and she's excited, but she'sdoing too much. Like give her some
grace, give her some time,and just you just can't be friends with
(20:07):
her right now right now. Idon't, cause I don't know how you
be friends with somebody who treats youlike that. She clearly is going through
something on her own that you're justgonna be like, I have to love
you from afar, but I stilllove you friends, and I'm here for
you. But like no, yeah, it's not okay. Yeah, and
he's laces for me looking good?For real? What's she talking about?
I know it ain't like the wigsof your not not like the wigs not
(20:30):
of your Yes, it wasn't likethe of the seventeen, not the Beverly
Johnson wigs they be saying at theback of ebony girl, These are like
shit. I mean, I'm like, I don't even understand, Like,
I know, there's like black peoplehere under there. How is it so
flat? Yes, it is sorcerywith people get wigs these days. So
(20:51):
the fact that she don't even understandthat lets me know she really does have
an issue with your hair, andshe has been jealous of your hair exactly.
Yeah, she got she thank youas a problem. So anyway,
thank you so much Natalie and OliviaJames for sending those letters in. And
if you have a problem or questionor you just you don't need a safe
space to share and get some advice, or you know, you just want
(21:15):
to less getting your business. Pleasehit us up by sending an email to
hello at imanistateofmind dot com. Allright, let's get into the deep dive
right after this break. I'm slightlyhard. That's why I'm a little more
relaxed. So hi everybody. Okay, but it was Brandon's weed. Sorry,
it was Brandon's weed. Welcome back, everybody, and a world that
(21:38):
often emphasizes what we don't have andwhat we lack, the practice of gratitude
is important in protecting and strengthening yourmental health. Okay, so this holiday
season is busy, as it usuallyis, and it brings a lot of
priorities, and our mental health doesnot always earn a spot at this top
of the list. So gratitude andgiving can have a direct link to improve
(22:00):
health and increase happiness and infinite joy, especially at this time of the year.
Do you have a gratitude journal orlike you know or something that helps
you with keeping a positive outlook onyour life? You know what, No,
I don't have a gratitude journal.I kind of have. I mean,
no one's ever looked into my journal, but I think I spoke about
(22:22):
this, like on a previous episode, like when I was a teenager,
Like my mom would would like notall the time, but she would like
kind of go through my shit inmy room, and I like she and
she told you and you knew aboutit, or like she no, she
would tell me. She would tellme, but she'd be like, so
what is that about? And I'mlike, okay, First of all,
(22:45):
wait, she would read your journalto ask you about it. It was
like, here's the thing I neverI never really wrote in a journal,
but that turned me off to wantingto journal. I had a similar situation.
Yeah, so if I do journal, which is again very often,
I'll do it in my phone becauseit's locked. Okay, okay, So
(23:06):
but but to answer your question,I guess I don't keep it gratitude general.
But I mean, I'm on prozacand this shit has me feeling amazing,
like the majority of the time.So like I'm the kind of person
that gets excited about like seeing abutterfly. I'm like, I'm just like,
oh my god, like you're flyingaround, it's so beautiful. I'm
(23:26):
like, hi, but lah blah, Like I just I I because my
mental health is so much better Ijust and I think because I remember that
for so many years of my life, I really wasn't even able to like
like appreciate that. So I appreciatelike everything like I have. Even I
got to tell myself to stop doingthis, Like I was at I was
(23:47):
in a parking lot recently, andthere was a woman who was trying to
like she was trying to park intolike a space that it just would have
been like a little bit more challenging. So I was like, hey,
if you want to, if youwant to take my space, I'm right
behind you into a lot more space. She couldn't hear me, so the
person behind her took it. Butlike, yeah, I'm just I'm always
(24:10):
like, oh my god, likedo you need help with that? Oh
my god? Like I just Ijust like I think, I just really
like making people happy. I justlike making people's days like easier. And
that was not the case when Iwas depressed at all, when I was
depressed and anxious. So yeah,I just for my gratitude, I take
prozac. Please pay me, Pleasepay me the makers of prozac. That's
(24:33):
funny, you know, same issuewith you. I don't keep a journal
because my dad, like when Iwas young, I wrote, I had
called my cousin a bee because shewouldn't play with me because she was like
older than me, and was like, I'm gonna go hang with my friends.
Yeah, And I remember writing that. And she was staying with us
for the summer, and my mymom was cleaning my room and she found
my journal and showed my dad.Let me tell you what my dad did,
(24:55):
girl, what We was all atthe dinner table, including my cousin.
No, he didn't, girl.He pulled my journal out from under
the table, opened it and waslike, my cousin is a bitch.
And I was mortified. God,my, the skin off my face would
have just I just sat there like, and my cousin's sake. My cousin
(25:19):
is from New York, is fromthe city, so she was like girls,
she was like laughing, like okay, right, and plus I was
younger than her, so she waslike okay, okay, little cousin.
So but I was mortified because clearlythat that was my little diary. Okay.
So as a result, I neverfelt comfortable keeping a journal. But
I do, like you said,I have like notes on my phone stuff
(25:40):
like that. And then I've alwaysbeen like, well, if somebody sees
this, they just see it,like I don't feel like, you know,
if I don't want to write it, then if I don't want nobody
to see it, if I feellike it's going to be that damaging,
then I just won't write it.But I think when you focus on the
things that you're grateful for and thatyou do have, it takes away the
anxiety and the feelings the stuff thatyou don't have exactly. And it's like
(26:02):
I try to remember, you know. I try to practice this with my
son because he's always like, well, I don't have that car, and
I don't have this. Your sonis so expressive. I love it,
but I'm sure you're like, girl, my god. Every day he'd be
like, oh my goodness that Idon't have those shoes, but you got
fifteen other pairs right here. ButI don't have those shoes, Mom,
(26:22):
I need those shoes. He needseverything that he doesn't have, but I
don't have those little mini foods thathe'd be collecting these foods that are like
this big. Oh my god,I love little mini foods. Are you
serious? He loves it, buthe has so many and then he'd be
losing them because they're so small.So it's just and so I have to
remind him, like, let's begrateful for the fifteen shoes that we have,
for the hundreds of many foods thatyou already have. Like, let's
(26:45):
focus on what we do have,because when you focus on what you have,
then you're not like focusing on whatyou don't have because guess what,
you're always gonna not have stuff.Oh my god, Now I want to
meet your son so we can liketalk about shoes and like many food all
right, girl'll get yes, whatI'm gonna bring him next time? We
Yeah, okay, because I havea little like set of like little like
(27:07):
I have like these little baby foodsand plants, and I just like I'm
I'm gonna bring him and then hegonna work out your ship. Okay,
I don't care ship and I havea job. I'm gonna bring him.
He's gonna love you, Okay,well he's gonna love me anyway. I'm
gonna bring him next time. Youcan be like, oh glad, they're
God, No, no, no, I love little kids. I love
(27:27):
little kids. But which is alsoanother thing that I found, like when
I stopped being depressed like that.I like, I love little kids,
I love animals, and I thinka lot of that is just like I
was saying, like, I justfeel so thankful that I'm not in the
same frame of mind that I wasin, Like I'm just I'm like,
oh my god, like today nowthis morning, Brandon will tell you.
(27:48):
I was just kind of like Idon't like my outfit. Like I was
just like, just I need caffeine, and now I'm drinking coffee and you
feel much better. I feel amazing, Oh my god. But but it's
funny, like you know, likeI try to avoid using the term like
fake it till you make it,but when it comes to gratitude, it's
kind of not fake it till youmake it. But I would say more
(28:11):
more so like go through the motions. Yeah, because being able to express
gratitude it actually okay. So thereare studies that show that when you practice
thankfulness, it actually like leads tolower stress levels and then make slevels and
anxiety levels. Yeah, and whenyou focus on like like your so like
I don't have that spaceship, thenit's kind of like, yeah, like
(28:34):
don't dress too right exactly, likeI don't have that horse, like,
but if you focus on what youdo have, yeah, exactly, it
shifts your perspective and it just makesus more resilient against like stress and like
emotional stepback. So it's it's really, it's really, it's really great to
have a gratitude mindset. Now here'shere's a caveat. You don't want to
(29:00):
gratify yourself by expressing gratitude about thethings about how awesome you are. So
wait, but what if you reallyfeel like you're awesome, Well you can,
but that's not gratitude, Like gratitudeis more so like you, I'm
so grateful to be awesome. I'mso grateful that I'm gratitude towards myself.
Ye know that it doesn't work thatway, so you want to like when
(29:22):
it comes to gratitude, it's aboutbeing selfless. It's about like doing things
simply to make someone else's day easierand just I mean it not that this
does not that this is part ofthe definition of gratitude. But having more
gratitude, like we're saying, leadsto you being able to really take like
like acknowledge the small stuff and likehow the small things are like really like
(29:45):
important too. Yeah, because Inoticed myself when I start getting overwhelmed or
frustrated or mad at something is usuallybecause I'm not focusing on the gratefulness in
my life. Hmm. And Ithink we need which to focus on that
then you're not as mad. Likelike, for example, you know,
I have little kids, so they'realways mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy,
(30:07):
mommy, mommy. Can I belike in my head out and be
like shut off? You know whatI'm saying in my head? I can't
do that to them, the littlechildren, and they're they're just being children,
right, They're just like they needme. I'm there everything, and
so they need something from mommy.So like, I have to remind myself
and be grateful that I have thesetwo beautiful little babies because something could be
wrong with them and it's not likethey're healthy. I have a lot of
(30:30):
friends trying to have children and theycan't have them, so like, how
dare I right? You know?They do begin on my nerves, but
like I need to be grateful thatI have these little humans that get on
my nerves, you know what I'msaying, because they're so wonderful and amazing.
So I try to remind myself ofthat, or like when my husband
gets on my nerves or when hejust I try to remember or remind myself
(30:51):
he loves me, he's a goodman, and sometimes we just don't sink
up. Yeah, because we're justpeople and nobody just gets along one hundred
percent of the time. No,No, not at all. No,
there's always something, there's always something. I love Peter to death. I'm
forever like on him. Like,in between the breaks from us filming and
(31:11):
recording this podcast, I just wentup and I freaked him real quick.
I just like, but but whenwe argue, it's just like and then
you know, like sometimes you justgot to get it out. Yeah,
but then then you remember that whenyou're grateful exactly, when you remember the
things you're grateful about that person,it's like, Okay, it's hard to
stay mad for long. Yeah,I'm like, I don't want to be
mad at you, Like I loveyou and like nationally curly hair, and
(31:34):
he does have an amazing has amazinghair. It's amazing hair. It's amazing
hair. So oh, Brandon,can you scroll it? Yeah, Okay,
studies whatever we talked kind of talkedabout studies already living life. What
are some techniques? Okay, keepgoing here, we go, all right,
so let's talk about specifically, likewhat are some techniques Cause we're like,
(31:57):
we're both grateful people. What ifyou're somebody where gratitude doesn't necessarily come
easy for you? So here's someexamples of some techniques. Let's say,
so one way is to share yourgratitude with others, like essentially just it
kind of explains what gratitude is,like you want to just basically just be
(32:19):
as selfless as possible. I'm notsaying let people disrespect you and run you
over. That's not what I'm saying. Yeah, but I'm saying, like
if you see if you're taking asubway and you see a pregnant woman,
like get up. You know whatI'm saying, if you see like a
mom like like you know what?I just saw literally an on TV this
morning. What it was an adfor how to like part of what you're
talking about. It was an ad. It was showing this dude, like
(32:43):
this bus full of people, Thisold lady was standing up, this guy
was sitting down, he was hegot up, He's like, please have
my seat, and they switch placesand then I was like, I'm thinking,
like what is this an ad for? And it was just like be
grateful dot com and I'm like orsomething like that, and I was like,
what we have to teach people howto be respectful? And San's that's
kind of sad, y'all, solike they kind of been had having them
commercials though, but like why doyou not know who? Because people are
(33:07):
not getting taught this at home becausea lot of times people are trash.
So that's so terrible. It isthe old lady with old legs and you
over here with y'all young legs,sit down like old lady will old legs
down? Well, I know,but some people. I mean, you
gotta also consider like people be havingphones. They'd be all up in their
(33:29):
phone. Oh yeah. Like Iremember going to New York City when I
was pregnant and just being like,oh my god, I'm gonna I'm gonna
take the subway. I mean,and yeah, it's not a big deal
to take the subway. But Iwould be like if y'all don't get the
fuck up, like why are younot do you not see this? Like
actually, wait, this is onmy body? I am off balanced,
I am all over the place andthis train is moving like get out of
(33:52):
here. That makes me so mad. Yeah. So another way another technique
to express gratitude is and I spokea little bit about this before, but
go through the motions like you seea butterfly, like acknowledge it. Just
be like, oh my god,you're so beautiful. I'm grateful that we
have grain air for the butterfly anxiety. You want it to be sunny and
it's rain and be like, ohmy god, well I wish it was
(34:13):
sunny, but now these flowers andall these plants can get all this rain.
So just going through the motions ofbeing gracious and having gratitude can actually
make you more grateful maybe yeah,yeah, yeah, grateful. Yeah.
And then also watch your language,not like watch it in a bad way,
but more so use like a gratitudelanguage, like the language of gifts,
(34:37):
the language of like, you know, blessings and being blessed and fortunate
and abundant, like you wanna yeahyou know what. I saw this and
I was like that is so true. So like a lot of times when
we have issues in life, we'relike I have to I have to do
this, I have to clean myhouse, I have to go get my
kids. I have to do thiswork instead of I have to change your
(35:00):
language to I get to I getto exactly. And when you say that,
it's like, oh and I getto clean my house. Yes,
I get to pick up my kids. Okay, I get to go to
work. Yeah. Because words havemeaning. Yeah yeah, Like that's why
whoever came up with sits and stonesmay hurt my broms, but words will
never hurt me. I'm like,that is a damn lie. I'm like,
(35:21):
that's a whole lie. So anyway, they weren't bullied enough. Yeah,
yeah, apparently seriously, because ifyou were, you know, words
hurting. Okay, okay for real. But here's the thing. We love
to express gratitude in our lives,but we also want to express some gratitude.
So all you guys listening, thanky'all, because there's a billion in
(35:42):
one podcast really or a watch afifteen video podcast, and you guys came
here with us. I know,thank you. You guys came here,
and you know, I just thinkI just think it's amazing that like there
are people like I'm like, ohmy god, Like there are thousands of
people that are listening to us likeevery week that's insane, taking their mental
health break with us. I know. That's so great. Good job you
(36:05):
guys. Thank y'all for just youknow you and dealing with our Shenanigan.
Yes, every well made this season. It's so great. We had so
much fun. Thank you and theletters, the letters, thank you for
writing us. Yeah, because wehad some you know, like we're now
independent, you mind stated mind isindependent. It's been. It was interesting
last year, but you know what, we bet we here we made it
(36:25):
happen and here okay, so herewe are. Yes, it's kind of
little shaking his little moneymakers. Yes, Brandon, our producer, is amazing.
We're also grateful for our other producer, Leslie, who comes up with
like all these wonderful scripts for us, and to Peter. We're thankful for
Peter for the sound town. Thankyou, you know, thanks thanks to
(36:49):
Hiro, and thank you to youand money to you. I'm so grateful
for you. I'm grateful wonderful psychiatrists. Thank you. I'm grateful for you
that. I'm grateful for all ofy'all that like work on the show,
like I can't, like I couldnot have asked for a better team,
like y'all be more hype about itsometimes and then I'll be like hein' nobody
(37:12):
gonna listen. Hey, well guesswhat, even if they don't, we
still gonna have a good time.Gonna have a good time. That's true,
I wanna have good time. Butyeah, send us your gratitude moments
for a chance for us to sharethem on this show. You can email
them at Hello at Imani state ofMind, or if you're watching this,
put in the comments below. Yeah, that'd be great. Yeah. So,
hey, everybody, that's all thetime we have for our deep dive
(37:34):
segment. Yes, so switch gearsand get into our final segment and are
one of our most fun segments,pop culture diagnoses. We'll be right back.
So meg, let's get into ourpop culture diagnosis for this week.
Okay, so, please give ourlisteners a quick synopsis of suits and who
(37:57):
from the show we are diagnosing today. Yeah, since it's a big show,
they've had a billion seasons, likenine seasons. I didn't even know
that. That was like, Ialways saw it, but I never I
was like, who was watching theshow that I watched it? I was
like, Oh, that's why it'sa good show was on Suits. Wait,
hold, is that that is shewas on Suits or so before?
(38:23):
That's okay, yeah, gun ison It used to be married to Laurence
Fishburne. Okay, Susan is agreat show. It's been on for a
billion seasons, like nine seasons orsomething. Girl, Yes, and then
I didn't even know that it wasthat popular Mega Marcos on there. Yeah
(38:44):
I didn't. I didn't that wasin the show that she was on for
years. Yeah. I don't knowanything about Suits until recently, like this
was maybe a month ago, becausethere aren't a lot of shows that are
circulating like Suits, like shot upto like the most streamed show, Like
what the hell is the Suits?I don't even wear no suits? Okay,
okay, Well, it's really goodto watch for a holiday break binge.
(39:07):
It's a legal drama about a savvyuniversity expellee who gets recruited by the
supremely pompous lawyer Harvey Specter to workat an elite New York law firm.
Now for nine season, Suits haswelcomed audiences with interesting legal stories, but
it drew in fans through the captivatingoffice politics and there's a lot of layered
(39:29):
characters portrayed by the incredible cast,including Mega Markle. As we just said,
I want you to diagnose the charming, the witty, the confident,
the smooth lawyer, Harvey Spector.His seats are created to convey his level
of power, but I know thereare some issues underneath them seats. Yeah,
so, Harvey Spector. I don'tknow why his name sounds like a
(39:52):
superhero. Oh excuse me, I'mthinking about Harvey Dent from Batman that was
two face. Yeah. The factthat you remember that, I know because
I have like nerd fact. That'sso funny because I have no clue.
Yeah, I have the right fact. Did you ever watch the Batman like
cartoon from like the nineties. I'venever been a DC person. I didn't
(40:15):
even know what DC or Marvel was, but like the but when I was
in college in the nineties, inthe early nineties, I used to I
used to watch it like that.Shit was good. So and it's streaming
now. Anyway, Harvey Spector,he's a lawyer. He's a white dude.
Harvey Dent on the on the Batmancartoon is actually like black. It's
(40:36):
fine. So anyway, Harvey Specterhe's yeah, he's like, so swab
whatever, Like I'm a closer,uh whatever, I'm a high powered lawyer,
blah blah blah. But you know, anytime I see somebody kind of
with that type of personality, I'malways like, damn, like, I
know, you're really sad, insign. I feel like there's a lot of
(40:57):
insecurity there. And so to masskid, yeah, there's a hell of
insecurity. And he's like, I'mthe like when you have to profess,
like when you have to tell otherpeople like what you are, Like I'm
the closer. It's like are youthat, Yeah, you're trauma showing,
I know, like looking your trauma. So so Harvey Specter has it all
(41:21):
together and blah blah blah, andhe has he's had affairs with women in
the office and blah blah blah.But he ends up having a panic attack
and it leads him to seeing apsychiatrist. So for this show, is
Harvey Spector a psychopath? No?No, right? But is Harvey Spector
(41:42):
somebody who has really bad anxiety tothe point of panic attacks and depression?
Yes, Because there's so there's ascene that I was watching in the show
and the show suits and he he'swith his psychiatrists and she's like, you
have, like tell me, why, tell me why you got upset.
It was like his ex who wasworking in the same law office and she
(42:05):
was He was like, can youplease help me? And she was like,
no, I can't help you.But she's and she said how farm
boundaries? And I was like,girl, that's what's up. And he
was like, but it's just onething, and she was like it could
be one thing today and then tomorrow'sgonna be some nels and they after's gonna
be some news. So no,it got a little amani okay, but
she was but she says this andthen he turns around and like just has
(42:28):
a full panic attack. He's like, oh, I threw up in the
bathroom, Like I felt like Iwas gonna die. I was sweating.
But it was really I thought itwas really great. The scene where he
was meeting with a psychiatrists and thepsychiatrist was like, you have to get
you have to speak what happened toyou. You have to say it because
then you're not gonna like that doesn'thave control over you, which is just
similar to what I've said and whatwe've talked about before on the show,
(42:52):
which is like you have to getthe words out of your body. Yeah,
like you gotta get it out.And he's somebody who, even though
you would this is someone who's greatwith words. He's a lawyer, right,
but he doesn't have the vocabulary todiscuss his emotional state or his mental
well being or anything. So lateron in the show, he actually lets
(43:14):
his boss know like, I youknow, I've been seeing a psychiatrist's bosses,
like, get the fuck out ofhere, Like, no, you
haven't, you're just trying to sit. Well, it wasn't this boss,
but he was like, you're justsaying that because you want me to feel
sorry for you. And he waslike no, for real, like I
had a panic attack like his office, and it was It was really nice
seeing some It was really nice seeinghim be able to convey the same amount
(43:36):
of I guess expressiveness that he wouldshow in the courtroom that he did in
his personal life. Yeah, andif we all did more of that,
we'd be so much happier. Yes, the world be a better place.
The world be a better place.Yeah. So Harvey Spector, guess what
you have? Depression and anxiety?Yay, it is at least you're not
(43:57):
a psychopath. At least not apsychopath. Nurses our narcissist exactly exactly you
did it. Yay, yay,Okay, So so anyway, I'm gonna
hold up my drink. That's itfor Pop Culture Diagnosis Fan. This week,
we have another fun character to analyzeand talk about in our next episode.
This is my sexy Christmas voice.That's your Christmas voice. I think
(44:20):
I might need to smoke a littlebit more and they won't be able to
really get into my sexy Christmas voice. So look, if you guys have
any character suggestions that you want forme to diagnose, hit me up on
fuck it Twitter. We're calling itTwitter from now. If you don't want
to call it x no because it'sso fucking stupid, hit me up on
Twitter at doctor UNDERSTORYMNI. Hit Megup on Instagram at Meg scoop that's all
(44:45):
one word, or email us bothat Hello Anymni state of mind dot com.
I'm just so grateful for you.I mean, I'm just so I
love Meg to Zaki, guys,I do. I'm so grateful for her
of us as much as we loveeach other. Please remember to rate and
review us in your podcast app orif you're watching on YouTube Blake comments,
(45:07):
subscribe, and uh, you know, we appreciate you, we love you,
and we're so grateful for you.Yeah, because you didn't have to
be here listening to us you show. Did he acting up and just you
know getting it in? Yeah,maybe I'm feeling a little birthday girl.
You have a lot of nogs inthat very sassy so hey you guys,
(45:28):
look, thanks for tuning in andwe love you and enjoy your holiday,
Happy holiday, Happy holiday, June. Bye. Yeah, hi, low
(45:51):
bar, I'm just kidding. No, not not a low bar, not
the low bar in this moment.
Hey, everybody, welcome to you. Mighty said of mind. I'm doctor
E Money and I'm Meg Scoop andthis is this Christmas, is Christmas and
as we dream the trees, howmuch fun it's gonna be together. This
(00:37):
Christmas by your side is pleasing.Bye, Okay, we're caring through the
night and this Christmas we will bea very special Christmas for me. You
(00:59):
do do you do? Do youshake? Ahead? Yes? Every time
Black people say, we always gofor like like the like the the lead
up, like yeah, like this, but like this is Christmas, like
we go to like where the funpart is to sing yes, And I
can't even say so, I don'teven get you know what, It doesn't
matter. It doesn't matter. Everybodythat heard this they joined it with us.
(01:23):
Thank you for that. And forall the white people listening. If
you are listening, that was ThisChristmas by Donnie Hathaway. I know it's
Chris Brown. If you're I knowthat this thirties, This Christmas as a
song is not really like big inyour culture, but amongst Black people,
this Christmas is the like yeah dayyeah, so yeah, I learn that
(01:45):
so that you can be invited tothe Black Christmas exactly, the Black cookout
whatever you know, learn it.Yeah, it's happening. What's going on?
So it's what we're like, tendays away from Christmas, days away
from my birth happy early birthday.Yeah, I'm not really tripping off my
birthday. Did you used to alwaysget like no presence for your birthday or
(02:07):
it was like only Christmas or itwas always separate. Did you have a
birthday party growing up? So I'mnot on my birthday, Like my birthday
just at a weird time of theyear, like no one's gonna do anything
than eve of New Year's Eve.So when I was really little, my
mom used to have my birthday onmy half birthday of June thirtieth, for
(02:30):
real. So you had a summerbirthday and it wasn't even I didn't care.
I would be like, that's whatthey did with Jesus. Okay,
So these birthday nowhere near the summerschool is so so wait, so then
what do you do or what didyou do is like when you were in
like high school, probably went tolike Benni Hanna or something, but not
like a party like with your friendsor anything on your birthday. No,
(02:52):
No, because people are still likeI mean, and like in New York
it was cold. Oh true true. You know you know what when you
had your birthday party this past yearin January, I forgot that your birthday
was the end of December. Yeah, because your party was in January.
So I was like, oh,yeah, she's got a January birthday.
No, I have a December birthday, like what I was actually Peter were
(03:13):
saying, because I was like,well, my birthday is the eve of
New Year's Eve, and he waslike so people still, yeah, like
no, they're not. Why don'tyou have absolutely why don't you do a
New Year's Eve party? That's whathe said, first of all birthday.
But I'm like, I don't care, now you should do it. Yeah,
that's so because people always want tolook to go to a Christmas I
mean to a New Year's Eve party. Plus if it's your birthday, that
(03:35):
makes it even more like, oh, we're going to Sweet Money's or we're
celebrating with her because it's Christmas,it's New Year's Eve, and it's her
birthday. It's just I know I'mgoing to do it. I'm going to
do it because I'm like, mybirthday so doesn't it matter, but like
that's just silly. But girls,nobody really at this big age and nobody
celebrated their birthday. My birthday unlessit's on the weekend, is not the
(03:57):
biggest No, I'm saying, bigage. Once you hit forty, I'm
gonna be forty next year. Liketo me even now, to be honest
with you, once you get pastyour thirty thirty five, like, I
don't think people celebrate their birthday onthe day unless it's like a weekend.
Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, so you might as well
have your little New Year's you know, like New Years New Year's New Year's
(04:18):
slash birthday party. For me,that's what's gonna happen. That sounds like
so much fun. It's gonna befun. It's gonna be great, it's
gonna be fun. I'm excited.So I'll be forty eight. Don't look
at day oh but thirty A thankyou. I went to go get my
bottox recently and the girl she waslike, she was like, do you
(04:38):
want like some like frown line.I was like, she was like,
or do you want to be frozen? I was like, bitch, I'm
like, you know me, kyba baby. Okay, okay, twenty
as I'm like sitting here with thedrink. Okay. Look, so twenty
twenty three is quickly coming to aclose. And it's close. It's close.
(05:00):
What it's some people close? Okay, So twenty twenty three is coming
to a close. It is,it is, And it's easy to look
over the year and make a planfor twenty twenty four based upon what went
wrong this year. But I don'tlike to do that. What if we
ended the year on a happy noteand got ready for next year in the
spirit of gratitude, Yeah, rightbefore Christen and everything. Yay. So
(05:24):
look, today's deep dive. We'regoing to be getting our mind centered around
gratitude this season. Yeah, okay. You can absolutely transform your mental health
through gratitude practices. And with onlya few days left in twenty twenty three,
I think this is the great wayto close the year. I feel
you. I think if people weremore grateful, I don't think they'd be
so caught up in like the commercialismof this holiday season. You don't care
(05:47):
about that, Like I don't,honestly, Like I wouldn't even trip if
I didn't get any presents on Christmaslike I'm not Yeah, I don't care
anymore. When you get older,it's like there's other more important things,
yeah, like living, Like youknow what I held out today or yeah,
it was this morning and it wassomething. It was Neil deGrasse Tyson.
He was talking about dogs and hesaid that one day, one day
(06:10):
for a dog is like a weekin human experience. And I was like,
oh wow, baby, sound sass. And then I was like,
oh my god, I have tomake every day with my dog. Hi,
I know that makes me. I'mlike, oh no, But anyway,
we're here to get happy. We'retalking about gratitude today. So if
you love the Emi State of Mindpodcast, which you do because you're listening
(06:33):
right now and it's my serious voice, please rate and review us on your
favorite podcast app. And if you'rewatching us on YouTube, comment how you're
feeling like this video and subscribe toour channel and also put in the comments
like any topics about mental health thatyou want us to discuss. Yeah,
we definitely want to hear from you. Yeah, we want to hear from
(06:53):
you guys, and we want toyou know, tailor it to things that
you guys want to hear. Soyeah, so we have lots of discuss
so let's get right into it afterthis break. Okay, excuse me,
sip. I just had to takea sip with my drink. It's time
(07:14):
for one of our favorite segments ofthe show, asked Doctor Emiani anything.
Yes, we love reading your letters, we really do, and we're really
for some more questions. So who'sour first letter from today? It is
from Natalie Hay Girl. Dear DoctorEmani and Meg. I have a nosey
ass neighbor who is really getting onmy nerves. Me too. Who The
other day I caught her staring intomy window while I was doing my morning
(07:38):
yoga. Her peeping tom ass reallymessed up my morning's and routine. The
week before that, she stood inthe street and watched me and a friend
chat in the driveway. I reallywant to know what her fascination is with
me and my family, but myhusband said she is a harmless old lady,
and I don't want to come offas an angry black woman on the
block. The more my husband tellsme to let it go, the more
(07:59):
I get upset. Why does sheget to be nosy and all up in
our business? And I just haveto deal with it. I paid too
much money to live here to feeluneasy in my damn house. What is
a nice way to get my neighborout of my damp business? Is your
name? But like an old whitelady, Yes, obviously I was gonna
say, you didn't have to asset. I know, I have a neighbor,
and as nice as he wants tobe, my goodness, I kind
(08:24):
of have. I mean I kindof like I iced him out because it
was kind of like when I triedto like we were cool. When I
tried to be cool with him,like he would just he would just like
show up sometimes and I was justlike, damn, what you don't need
show up at like your doorstep.Yeah, Like there was one particular time
where he like my house and hishouse were built like at the same time,
(08:46):
so that there's new construction. Sowe have a lot of similar features.
So he was asking me about likelike whether my shout, Like he
was like, oh, do youhave hot water this morning? And I
was like, yes, it iseight three. Don't have the same water
heater. I'm like, we havedifferent water heaters. Yo, you don't
have no hot water. That's youneed to call somebody. Yeah. So
(09:07):
I mean, I'm assuming that thisis a nosy white woman because like I
know exactly what's going on, what'shappening. She's jealous, no, because
she said she makes a lot ofmoney. Oh yeah, She's in this
nice house, in this nice neighborhoodand there's an old white lady neighbor.
She's probably wondering why the blacks arein her neighborhood. Or she's wondering she's
(09:28):
like, hey, none of themlook like they play basketball. That could
be it too, for real,that could be it. She's probably if
for her generation, I'm sure she'sjust kind of like I've never like y'all
own this, y'all live? Like, is there drugs running through here?
Let me tell you, you tellyou what happened. Like this was like
a month ago. My parents cameto like drop off something and they were
(09:50):
leaving. So I'm talking to mymom and my mom and my dad and
Peter's outside and so we're all justlike chatting and they're like about to head
off. And this white man,this is a Sunday morning, This white
man drives his car like past us. This motherfucker almost ran into a tree,
like he was like, what arey'all doing? What are y'all congregating
(10:11):
all negroes congregating over here? Forit first it was it was really like,
oh my god, there's like blackpeople, like I don't think he
ever knew like who lives here,even though I try to make it known,
because like clearly in the front,you know what I'm saying, I
have a red, black and greenflag. Like I'm just kind of like
I don't know, like what elseto say, you know what I'm saying.
(10:33):
So it was blacks live here,that's right, this is a black
home. Okay, blacks live here, but that white man legit almost like
jumped the curve. It's so funnybecause I live in that I live in
a very big white neighborhood. There'sI can count black families on one hands,
and are they nice to you?Are they say they're actually really nice?
However, you can tell like it'sa it's an older neighborhood, so
(10:56):
there's people who've been there for likethirty years and now they like I'm starting
to see there's more younger families startingto take over. But like for Halloween
a few months ago, it waswe were it's into golf community. So
I got a golf cart. Sowe were in our golf cart trick or
treating and we went up to theseneighbors that we hadn't seen, and I
think they were like, oh,they've let here's some people from another neighborhood.
(11:22):
They came to our neighborhood to gettheir good candy. And so as
we're a golf car girl, soy'all sold the golf carts. So they
probably, I don't know what theythought. They thought took someone's golf We
borrowed a golf I don't know.So we're in there and and my husband
has like locks, like so wedon't look like we belong in this community
technically, right, But our housewas one of the biggest on the block.
(11:43):
So when she's like, oh,hi, and she was like hello,
we were talking to another neighbor andI was like, yeah, we've
been here for X amount of years. This older white lady was like,
oh, you guys live here,and I was like yeah, Like I
wanted to say some expletives, butI was just like, yeah, we
lived here. And she was likeactually, and I was like, oh,
we live on the house over here. She's like that big gray house.
(12:03):
Yes, the big gray house.The first her reaction, I was
like, yes, that's our house. She was like oh okay, like
she was now interested in talking tous, and she was like oh,
and I'm sitting here like wow,you really thought because we're black and we
look the way we looked, thatwe didn't belong here, and it was
just like okay. So I feellike that's going on with this letter,
is that this she really just doesn'tthink that y'all belong there, And for
(12:26):
her to think it's okay to comein your window and be a peeping tom,
I'm gonna call the police on you. I'm gonna call the police.
I don't care. I don't careif you're seventy five years old, you're
a white person looking in my window, I will call the police on you.
Let me tell you what I've done, and maybe this is something you
can do. I don't know ifyou you know, if your community like
has like a like a what doyou call it a homeowners association or something?
(12:48):
Yeah, so my neighborhood doesn't,thankfully. So what I've done over
the past year is I've put upmore ficus trees and I actually literally built
like a fence, so like there'syeah, so myself and my neighbor we
share essentially, like not we don'tshare the property line, but my trees
(13:11):
and his trees commingle, okay,but I would still kind of like see
them, and also like my dogdoes not like them. So I was
like, you know what, I'ma build a wall. So I built
a fence. Like so there's there'slike my property, then trees, then
like a little space and then afence and you know, like, yes,
(13:33):
I'm losing a little bit of space, but like it's like the muddy
part of my yard anyway, LikeI don't care. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. So I would say,you know what, girl, you need
to landscape. Yeah, landscape.Invest in some cameras around your house.
Yeah, I mean you should dothat anyway for safety purposes. But then
you can have recorded and documented likevideo of this neighbor being nosy and look,
(13:54):
you and you and your racist waysthat you grew up with can get
the smoke because I will call thecops on you, just like I would
call them on anybody else that's comingto that's coming on my property. And
here's the other thing I live inGeorgia, so I had a right to
shoot you. Okay in Georgia.Okay, you come on property. I'm
an covered there with a gun.Hello, Hello, miss Betsy. Can't
(14:18):
be over here looking. Yeah,I'm gonna be tote my gun in her
face because you can't coming over here, miss Betsy. A matter of fact,
what I would have done if thatwas the case, she over here
looking at me doing yoga, Iwould have got my gun and I would
have pointed it. Oh if youmiss Okay, people look in the window.
You know you're on my property andI have every so you gonna be
(14:39):
real scared that I have, yeah, weapons in this house. Don't come
looking here, don't get don't becoming over here looking like that. No,
no, boo boo, you willcatch the smoke. So I say
this to say your husband is like, yeah, she's a harmless old lady,
but she is breaking the law bytrespassing. So you can either build
some fences or you you can goahead and get some cameras so you can
(15:01):
document her being all up in yourbusiness. And next time you see her
stop in the street when you overretalking to your friends, Hey, miss
Betsy, do you is everything?Okay, you should get the cameras where
you can like like there's voice.Oh yeah, I have that so you
can be like can I help youwith something? Can I help you?
Yeah? Yeah? No, okay, all right then yeah, I mean
(15:24):
that's what I would do, andyour every right. You have every right
to be upset. That's not cool, and you should feel comfortable in your
own home. I don't. Idon't like when I'm at home. This
is my saction, Like I don'twant to deal with no no pop ups.
I don't want to. Like Itold my parents. They were like,
oh, you're gonna build a fence. I was like, yeah,
I gotta build the wall. Igotta build the wall. You gotta look
(15:46):
like what Trump said, Trumps buildthe wall. So I did. Yeah,
I did, so keep these whitepeople out. So so yeah,
so thanks for that letter. Yes, okay. Our next letter comes from
Olivia James. Here's what they wrote. Dear Josh REMANI and Meg, my
best friend of twenty seven years isfinally getting married and oo wie she is
a bridezilla. The girl just toldme I need to gain fifteen pounds to
(16:08):
be in the wedding because I can'tbe skinnier than her on her wedding day.
Every little thing I do, she'sthreatening to take me out of her
wedding. The most recent thing thatmade me want to write to y'all was
her telling me I needed to cutmy hair in a bob for the wedding.
I told her I would get asewing or a wig to get the
look she had a mind for meto wear. She told me I was
(16:29):
trying to ruin her wedding with fakehair. It's started to hurt my feelings,
right, damn. And you haven'tseen these new lace fronts girls?
They look good. Same, Okay. It's starting to hurt my feelings and
pissed me off at the same timehow she's acting. We've always dreamed and
talked about what our weddings would belike when we got married, and she
is sucking all the air in frontout of this moment. It is to
(16:52):
the point I don't want to bein the wedding show up or have her
in my wedding one day. Ifshe keeps up these crazy ways and demands,
I am not sure we will evenbe friends anymore. How do I
save this friendship and be there forher on her big day. You should
quit. You should quit if youstill want to be friends. Quit,
Yeah, if you still want tobe friends, like be like, you
know, I can't be a riseand I'll be a guest. And if
(17:15):
she's all happy and puffy and shit, I mean, listen, I have
been married. I didn't do likea whole you know, to do.
I didn't do enough to even qualifyas a bridezilla, Like I kept it
very quiet. Yeah, it isobvious that there are people in this world
who when they get married, thisis like the culmination, Like this is
(17:36):
their time to not only shine,but to like get back at everyone.
Like it's like, in order tobe a bridezilla, there has to be
some negativity that's swirling about. Yeah, and this it also tells me that
she does have some resentment towards youa little Yeah, you got to gain
weight, so she always she's probablya little bit jealousy you're skinny of her
(17:57):
like in regular life. So thisis the one time she's like, oh,
yeah, I can flex on her, so she can't gain weight,
she get it fatter, right,Yeah, I would. I would,
I mean quickly tell her, likeI can't be your brise maid, like
and and honestly, I feel it'sthe best thing for you too, Olivia,
because like I don't even understand likehow I personally could not be I
(18:22):
wouldn't want to be around my bestfriend and I certainly would not want to
like help her out with anything.Yeah, And like I think, for
you know, every every friendship,even best friends, can go through seasons.
You may not always be tight andthickest thieves y'all's entire friendship. This
might just have to be the timein y'all's friendship where y'all just hain't friends.
(18:42):
Yeah, this is this is likethis respect If y'all are really best
friends, then she knows how youfeel about your body, she knows how
you feel about your hair, likeshe's doing the most. So you may
just have to step back and keepyour boundaries and just accept that this is
a time where we just can't befriends. Yeah. And the dream that
if y'all had about being in eachother's weddings, like you're just going to
(19:03):
have to grieve that because this isnot okay. You know any bride Zilla
and like if you've ever watched thatshow, have you ever watched it?
Everything? And these women are lying. I was like, there's no way
they can be but show. It'scrazy. Show, But that's what I'm
saying. They really do feel likethat. So if that's she don't want
you to wear a wig that lookslike your real hair, yea, she
(19:23):
has some issues. You must haveunquote better hair than her, your skinnier,
So she has issues with you andshe's trying to, like I guess,
flex her power over the insecurities shehas through her wedding. Yeah,
and yeah, you know what,I love your friends, I will do
I can't do this, like Ican't do this and I love you yeah
(19:44):
yeah, yeah, that's why I'mpulling out of this, like this is
crazy. Yeah yeah yeah yeah.So Olivia, you know, just not
cut ties with your friend, butcut ties to this wedding. Yeah.
And then you know, if ifshe's your best friend, then give her
a little grace because you obviously knowlike she apparently has been waiting for this
forever and she's excited, but she'sdoing too much. Like give her some
grace, give her some time,and just you just can't be friends with
(20:07):
her right now right now. Idon't, cause I don't know how you
be friends with somebody who treats youlike that. She clearly is going through
something on her own that you're justgonna be like, I have to love
you from afar, but I stilllove you friends, and I'm here for
you. But like no, yeah, it's not okay. Yeah, and
he's laces for me looking good?For real? What's she talking about?
I know it ain't like the wigsof your not not like the wigs not
(20:30):
of your Yes, it wasn't likethe of the seventeen, not the Beverly
Johnson wigs they be saying at theback of ebony girl, These are like
shit. I mean, I'm like, I don't even understand, Like,
I know, there's like black peoplehere under there. How is it so
flat? Yes, it is sorcerywith people get wigs these days. So
(20:51):
the fact that she don't even understandthat lets me know she really does have
an issue with your hair, andshe has been jealous of your hair exactly.
Yeah, she got she thank youas a problem. So anyway,
thank you so much Natalie and OliviaJames for sending those letters in. And
if you have a problem or questionor you just you don't need a safe
space to share and get some advice, or you know, you just want
(21:15):
to less getting your business. Pleasehit us up by sending an email to
hello at imanistateofmind dot com. Allright, let's get into the deep dive
right after this break. I'm slightlyhard. That's why I'm a little more
relaxed. So hi everybody. Okay, but it was Brandon's weed. Sorry,
it was Brandon's weed. Welcome back, everybody, and a world that
(21:38):
often emphasizes what we don't have andwhat we lack, the practice of gratitude
is important in protecting and strengthening yourmental health. Okay, so this holiday
season is busy, as it usuallyis, and it brings a lot of
priorities, and our mental health doesnot always earn a spot at this top
of the list. So gratitude andgiving can have a direct link to improve
(22:00):
health and increase happiness and infinite joy, especially at this time of the year.
Do you have a gratitude journal orlike you know or something that helps
you with keeping a positive outlook onyour life? You know what, No,
I don't have a gratitude journal.I kind of have. I mean,
no one's ever looked into my journal, but I think I spoke about
(22:22):
this, like on a previous episode, like when I was a teenager,
Like my mom would would like notall the time, but she would like
kind of go through my shit inmy room, and I like she and
she told you and you knew aboutit, or like she no, she
would tell me. She would tellme, but she'd be like, so
what is that about? And I'mlike, okay, First of all,
(22:45):
wait, she would read your journalto ask you about it. It was
like, here's the thing I neverI never really wrote in a journal,
but that turned me off to wantingto journal. I had a similar situation.
Yeah, so if I do journal, which is again very often,
I'll do it in my phone becauseit's locked. Okay, okay, So
(23:06):
but but to answer your question,I guess I don't keep it gratitude general.
But I mean, I'm on prozacand this shit has me feeling amazing,
like the majority of the time.So like I'm the kind of person
that gets excited about like seeing abutterfly. I'm like, I'm just like,
oh my god, like you're flyingaround, it's so beautiful. I'm
(23:26):
like, hi, but lah blah, Like I just I I because my
mental health is so much better Ijust and I think because I remember that
for so many years of my life, I really wasn't even able to like
like appreciate that. So I appreciatelike everything like I have. Even I
got to tell myself to stop doingthis, Like I was at I was
(23:47):
in a parking lot recently, andthere was a woman who was trying to
like she was trying to park intolike a space that it just would have
been like a little bit more challenging. So I was like, hey,
if you want to, if youwant to take my space, I'm right
behind you into a lot more space. She couldn't hear me, so the
person behind her took it. Butlike, yeah, I'm just I'm always
(24:10):
like, oh my god, likedo you need help with that? Oh
my god? Like I just Ijust like I think, I just really
like making people happy. I justlike making people's days like easier. And
that was not the case when Iwas depressed at all, when I was
depressed and anxious. So yeah,I just for my gratitude, I take
prozac. Please pay me, Pleasepay me the makers of prozac. That's
(24:33):
funny, you know, same issuewith you. I don't keep a journal
because my dad, like when Iwas young, I wrote, I had
called my cousin a bee because shewouldn't play with me because she was like
older than me, and was like, I'm gonna go hang with my friends.
Yeah, And I remember writing that. And she was staying with us
for the summer, and my mymom was cleaning my room and she found
my journal and showed my dad.Let me tell you what my dad did,
(24:55):
girl, what We was all atthe dinner table, including my cousin.
No, he didn't, girl.He pulled my journal out from under
the table, opened it and waslike, my cousin is a bitch.
And I was mortified. God,my, the skin off my face would
have just I just sat there like, and my cousin's sake. My cousin
(25:19):
is from New York, is fromthe city, so she was like girls,
she was like laughing, like okay, right, and plus I was
younger than her, so she waslike okay, okay, little cousin.
So but I was mortified because clearlythat that was my little diary. Okay.
So as a result, I neverfelt comfortable keeping a journal. But
I do, like you said,I have like notes on my phone stuff
(25:40):
like that. And then I've alwaysbeen like, well, if somebody sees
this, they just see it,like I don't feel like, you know,
if I don't want to write it, then if I don't want nobody
to see it, if I feellike it's going to be that damaging,
then I just won't write it.But I think when you focus on the
things that you're grateful for and thatyou do have, it takes away the
anxiety and the feelings the stuff thatyou don't have exactly. And it's like
(26:02):
I try to remember, you know. I try to practice this with my
son because he's always like, well, I don't have that car, and
I don't have this. Your sonis so expressive. I love it,
but I'm sure you're like, girl, my god. Every day he'd be
like, oh my goodness that Idon't have those shoes, but you got
fifteen other pairs right here. ButI don't have those shoes, Mom,
(26:22):
I need those shoes. He needseverything that he doesn't have, but I
don't have those little mini foods thathe'd be collecting these foods that are like
this big. Oh my god,I love little mini foods. Are you
serious? He loves it, buthe has so many and then he'd be
losing them because they're so small.So it's just and so I have to
remind him, like, let's begrateful for the fifteen shoes that we have,
for the hundreds of many foods thatyou already have. Like, let's
(26:45):
focus on what we do have,because when you focus on what you have,
then you're not like focusing on whatyou don't have because guess what,
you're always gonna not have stuff.Oh my god, Now I want to
meet your son so we can liketalk about shoes and like many food all
right, girl'll get yes, whatI'm gonna bring him next time? We
Yeah, okay, because I havea little like set of like little like
(27:07):
I have like these little baby foodsand plants, and I just like I'm
I'm gonna bring him and then hegonna work out your ship. Okay,
I don't care ship and I havea job. I'm gonna bring him.
He's gonna love you, Okay,well he's gonna love me anyway. I'm
gonna bring him next time. Youcan be like, oh glad, they're
God, No, no, no, I love little kids. I love
(27:27):
little kids. But which is alsoanother thing that I found, like when
I stopped being depressed like that.I like, I love little kids,
I love animals, and I thinka lot of that is just like I
was saying, like, I justfeel so thankful that I'm not in the
same frame of mind that I wasin, Like I'm just I'm like,
oh my god, like today nowthis morning, Brandon will tell you.
(27:48):
I was just kind of like Idon't like my outfit. Like I was
just like, just I need caffeine, and now I'm drinking coffee and you
feel much better. I feel amazing, Oh my god. But but it's
funny, like you know, likeI try to avoid using the term like
fake it till you make it,but when it comes to gratitude, it's
kind of not fake it till youmake it. But I would say more
(28:11):
more so like go through the motions. Yeah, because being able to express
gratitude it actually okay. So thereare studies that show that when you practice
thankfulness, it actually like leads tolower stress levels and then make slevels and
anxiety levels. Yeah, and whenyou focus on like like your so like
I don't have that spaceship, thenit's kind of like, yeah, like
(28:34):
don't dress too right exactly, likeI don't have that horse, like,
but if you focus on what youdo have, yeah, exactly, it
shifts your perspective and it just makesus more resilient against like stress and like
emotional stepback. So it's it's really, it's really, it's really great to
have a gratitude mindset. Now here'shere's a caveat. You don't want to
(29:00):
gratify yourself by expressing gratitude about thethings about how awesome you are. So
wait, but what if you reallyfeel like you're awesome, Well you can,
but that's not gratitude, Like gratitudeis more so like you, I'm
so grateful to be awesome. I'mso grateful that I'm gratitude towards myself.
Ye know that it doesn't work thatway, so you want to like when
(29:22):
it comes to gratitude, it's aboutbeing selfless. It's about like doing things
simply to make someone else's day easierand just I mean it not that this
does not that this is part ofthe definition of gratitude. But having more
gratitude, like we're saying, leadsto you being able to really take like
like acknowledge the small stuff and likehow the small things are like really like
(29:45):
important too. Yeah, because Inoticed myself when I start getting overwhelmed or
frustrated or mad at something is usuallybecause I'm not focusing on the gratefulness in
my life. Hmm. And Ithink we need which to focus on that
then you're not as mad. Likelike, for example, you know,
I have little kids, so they'realways mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy,
(30:07):
mommy, mommy. Can I belike in my head out and be
like shut off? You know whatI'm saying in my head? I can't
do that to them, the littlechildren, and they're they're just being children,
right, They're just like they needme. I'm there everything, and
so they need something from mommy.So like, I have to remind myself
and be grateful that I have thesetwo beautiful little babies because something could be
wrong with them and it's not likethey're healthy. I have a lot of
(30:30):
friends trying to have children and theycan't have them, so like, how
dare I right? You know?They do begin on my nerves, but
like I need to be grateful thatI have these little humans that get on
my nerves, you know what I'msaying, because they're so wonderful and amazing.
So I try to remind myself ofthat, or like when my husband
gets on my nerves or when hejust I try to remember or remind myself
(30:51):
he loves me, he's a goodman, and sometimes we just don't sink
up. Yeah, because we're justpeople and nobody just gets along one hundred
percent of the time. No,No, not at all. No,
there's always something, there's always something. I love Peter to death. I'm
forever like on him. Like,in between the breaks from us filming and
(31:11):
recording this podcast, I just wentup and I freaked him real quick.
I just like, but but whenwe argue, it's just like and then
you know, like sometimes you justgot to get it out. Yeah,
but then then you remember that whenyou're grateful exactly, when you remember the
things you're grateful about that person,it's like, Okay, it's hard to
stay mad for long. Yeah,I'm like, I don't want to be
mad at you, Like I loveyou and like nationally curly hair, and
(31:34):
he does have an amazing has amazinghair. It's amazing hair. It's amazing
hair. So oh, Brandon,can you scroll it? Yeah, Okay,
studies whatever we talked kind of talkedabout studies already living life. What
are some techniques? Okay, keepgoing here, we go, all right,
so let's talk about specifically, likewhat are some techniques Cause we're like,
(31:57):
we're both grateful people. What ifyou're somebody where gratitude doesn't necessarily come
easy for you? So here's someexamples of some techniques. Let's say,
so one way is to share yourgratitude with others, like essentially just it
kind of explains what gratitude is,like you want to just basically just be
(32:19):
as selfless as possible. I'm notsaying let people disrespect you and run you
over. That's not what I'm saying. Yeah, but I'm saying, like
if you see if you're taking asubway and you see a pregnant woman,
like get up. You know whatI'm saying, if you see like a
mom like like you know what?I just saw literally an on TV this
morning. What it was an adfor how to like part of what you're
talking about. It was an ad. It was showing this dude, like
(32:43):
this bus full of people, Thisold lady was standing up, this guy
was sitting down, he was hegot up, He's like, please have
my seat, and they switch placesand then I was like, I'm thinking,
like what is this an ad for? And it was just like be
grateful dot com and I'm like orsomething like that, and I was like,
what we have to teach people howto be respectful? And San's that's
kind of sad, y'all, solike they kind of been had having them
commercials though, but like why doyou not know who? Because people are
(33:07):
not getting taught this at home becausea lot of times people are trash.
So that's so terrible. It isthe old lady with old legs and you
over here with y'all young legs,sit down like old lady will old legs
down? Well, I know,but some people. I mean, you
gotta also consider like people be havingphones. They'd be all up in their
(33:29):
phone. Oh yeah. Like Iremember going to New York City when I
was pregnant and just being like,oh my god, I'm gonna I'm gonna
take the subway. I mean,and yeah, it's not a big deal
to take the subway. But Iwould be like if y'all don't get the
fuck up, like why are younot do you not see this? Like
actually, wait, this is onmy body? I am off balanced,
I am all over the place andthis train is moving like get out of
(33:52):
here. That makes me so mad. Yeah. So another way another technique
to express gratitude is and I spokea little bit about this before, but
go through the motions like you seea butterfly, like acknowledge it. Just
be like, oh my god,you're so beautiful. I'm grateful that we
have grain air for the butterfly anxiety. You want it to be sunny and
it's rain and be like, ohmy god, well I wish it was
(34:13):
sunny, but now these flowers andall these plants can get all this rain.
So just going through the motions ofbeing gracious and having gratitude can actually
make you more grateful maybe yeah,yeah, yeah, grateful. Yeah.
And then also watch your language,not like watch it in a bad way,
but more so use like a gratitudelanguage, like the language of gifts,
(34:37):
the language of like, you know, blessings and being blessed and fortunate
and abundant, like you wanna yeahyou know what. I saw this and
I was like that is so true. So like a lot of times when
we have issues in life, we'relike I have to I have to do
this, I have to clean myhouse, I have to go get my
kids. I have to do thiswork instead of I have to change your
(35:00):
language to I get to I getto exactly. And when you say that,
it's like, oh and I getto clean my house. Yes,
I get to pick up my kids. Okay, I get to go to
work. Yeah. Because words havemeaning. Yeah yeah, Like that's why
whoever came up with sits and stonesmay hurt my broms, but words will
never hurt me. I'm like,that is a damn lie. I'm like,
(35:21):
that's a whole lie. So anyway, they weren't bullied enough. Yeah,
yeah, apparently seriously, because ifyou were, you know, words
hurting. Okay, okay for real. But here's the thing. We love
to express gratitude in our lives,but we also want to express some gratitude.
So all you guys listening, thanky'all, because there's a billion in
(35:42):
one podcast really or a watch afifteen video podcast, and you guys came
here with us. I know,thank you. You guys came here,
and you know, I just thinkI just think it's amazing that like there
are people like I'm like, ohmy god, Like there are thousands of
people that are listening to us likeevery week that's insane, taking their mental
health break with us. I know. That's so great. Good job you
(36:05):
guys. Thank y'all for just youknow you and dealing with our Shenanigan.
Yes, every well made this season. It's so great. We had so
much fun. Thank you and theletters, the letters, thank you for
writing us. Yeah, because wehad some you know, like we're now
independent, you mind stated mind isindependent. It's been. It was interesting
last year, but you know what, we bet we here we made it
(36:25):
happen and here okay, so herewe are. Yes, it's kind of
little shaking his little moneymakers. Yes, Brandon, our producer, is amazing.
We're also grateful for our other producer, Leslie, who comes up with
like all these wonderful scripts for us, and to Peter. We're thankful for
Peter for the sound town. Thankyou, you know, thanks thanks to
(36:49):
Hiro, and thank you to youand money to you. I'm so grateful
for you. I'm grateful wonderful psychiatrists. Thank you. I'm grateful for you
that. I'm grateful for all ofy'all that like work on the show,
like I can't, like I couldnot have asked for a better team,
like y'all be more hype about itsometimes and then I'll be like hein' nobody
(37:12):
gonna listen. Hey, well guesswhat, even if they don't, we
still gonna have a good time.Gonna have a good time. That's true,
I wanna have good time. Butyeah, send us your gratitude moments
for a chance for us to sharethem on this show. You can email
them at Hello at Imani state ofMind, or if you're watching this,
put in the comments below. Yeah, that'd be great. Yeah. So,
hey, everybody, that's all thetime we have for our deep dive
(37:34):
segment. Yes, so switch gearsand get into our final segment and are
one of our most fun segments,pop culture diagnoses. We'll be right back.
So meg, let's get into ourpop culture diagnosis for this week.
Okay, so, please give ourlisteners a quick synopsis of suits and who
(37:57):
from the show we are diagnosing today. Yeah, since it's a big show,
they've had a billion seasons, likenine seasons. I didn't even know
that. That was like, Ialways saw it, but I never I
was like, who was watching theshow that I watched it? I was
like, Oh, that's why it'sa good show was on Suits. Wait,
hold, is that that is shewas on Suits or so before?
(38:23):
That's okay, yeah, gun ison It used to be married to Laurence
Fishburne. Okay, Susan is agreat show. It's been on for a
billion seasons, like nine seasons orsomething. Girl, Yes, and then
I didn't even know that it wasthat popular Mega Marcos on there. Yeah
(38:44):
I didn't. I didn't that wasin the show that she was on for
years. Yeah. I don't knowanything about Suits until recently, like this
was maybe a month ago, becausethere aren't a lot of shows that are
circulating like Suits, like shot upto like the most streamed show, Like
what the hell is the Suits?I don't even wear no suits? Okay,
okay, Well, it's really goodto watch for a holiday break binge.
(39:07):
It's a legal drama about a savvyuniversity expellee who gets recruited by the
supremely pompous lawyer Harvey Specter to workat an elite New York law firm.
Now for nine season, Suits haswelcomed audiences with interesting legal stories, but
it drew in fans through the captivatingoffice politics and there's a lot of layered
(39:29):
characters portrayed by the incredible cast,including Mega Markle. As we just said,
I want you to diagnose the charming, the witty, the confident,
the smooth lawyer, Harvey Spector.His seats are created to convey his level
of power, but I know thereare some issues underneath them seats. Yeah,
so, Harvey Spector. I don'tknow why his name sounds like a
(39:52):
superhero. Oh excuse me, I'mthinking about Harvey Dent from Batman that was
two face. Yeah. The factthat you remember that, I know because
I have like nerd fact. That'sso funny because I have no clue.
Yeah, I have the right fact. Did you ever watch the Batman like
cartoon from like the nineties. I'venever been a DC person. I didn't
(40:15):
even know what DC or Marvel was, but like the but when I was
in college in the nineties, inthe early nineties, I used to I
used to watch it like that.Shit was good. So and it's streaming
now. Anyway, Harvey Spector,he's a lawyer. He's a white dude.
Harvey Dent on the on the Batmancartoon is actually like black. It's
(40:36):
fine. So anyway, Harvey Specterhe's yeah, he's like, so swab
whatever, Like I'm a closer,uh whatever, I'm a high powered lawyer,
blah blah blah. But you know, anytime I see somebody kind of
with that type of personality, I'malways like, damn, like, I
know, you're really sad, insign. I feel like there's a lot of
(40:57):
insecurity there. And so to masskid, yeah, there's a hell of
insecurity. And he's like, I'mthe like when you have to profess,
like when you have to tell otherpeople like what you are, Like I'm
the closer. It's like are youthat, Yeah, you're trauma showing,
I know, like looking your trauma. So so Harvey Specter has it all
(41:21):
together and blah blah blah, andhe has he's had affairs with women in
the office and blah blah blah.But he ends up having a panic attack
and it leads him to seeing apsychiatrist. So for this show, is
Harvey Spector a psychopath? No?No, right? But is Harvey Spector
(41:42):
somebody who has really bad anxiety tothe point of panic attacks and depression?
Yes, Because there's so there's ascene that I was watching in the show
and the show suits and he he'swith his psychiatrists and she's like, you
have, like tell me, why, tell me why you got upset.
It was like his ex who wasworking in the same law office and she
(42:05):
was He was like, can youplease help me? And she was like,
no, I can't help you.But she's and she said how farm
boundaries? And I was like,girl, that's what's up. And he
was like, but it's just onething, and she was like it could
be one thing today and then tomorrow'sgonna be some nels and they after's gonna
be some news. So no,it got a little amani okay, but
she was but she says this andthen he turns around and like just has
(42:28):
a full panic attack. He's like, oh, I threw up in the
bathroom, Like I felt like Iwas gonna die. I was sweating.
But it was really I thought itwas really great. The scene where he
was meeting with a psychiatrists and thepsychiatrist was like, you have to get
you have to speak what happened toyou. You have to say it because
then you're not gonna like that doesn'thave control over you, which is just
similar to what I've said and whatwe've talked about before on the show,
(42:52):
which is like you have to getthe words out of your body. Yeah,
like you gotta get it out.And he's somebody who, even though
you would this is someone who's greatwith words. He's a lawyer, right,
but he doesn't have the vocabulary todiscuss his emotional state or his mental
well being or anything. So lateron in the show, he actually lets
(43:14):
his boss know like, I youknow, I've been seeing a psychiatrist's bosses,
like, get the fuck out ofhere, Like, no, you
haven't, you're just trying to sit. Well, it wasn't this boss,
but he was like, you're justsaying that because you want me to feel
sorry for you. And he waslike no, for real, like I
had a panic attack like his office, and it was It was really nice
seeing some It was really nice seeinghim be able to convey the same amount
(43:36):
of I guess expressiveness that he wouldshow in the courtroom that he did in
his personal life. Yeah, andif we all did more of that,
we'd be so much happier. Yes, the world be a better place.
The world be a better place.Yeah. So Harvey Spector, guess what
you have? Depression and anxiety?Yay, it is at least you're not
(43:57):
a psychopath. At least not apsychopath. Nurses our narcissist exactly exactly you
did it. Yay, yay,Okay, So so anyway, I'm gonna
hold up my drink. That's itfor Pop Culture Diagnosis Fan. This week,
we have another fun character to analyzeand talk about in our next episode.
This is my sexy Christmas voice.That's your Christmas voice. I think
(44:20):
I might need to smoke a littlebit more and they won't be able to
really get into my sexy Christmas voice. So look, if you guys have
any character suggestions that you want forme to diagnose, hit me up on
fuck it Twitter. We're calling itTwitter from now. If you don't want
to call it x no because it'sso fucking stupid, hit me up on
Twitter at doctor UNDERSTORYMNI. Hit Megup on Instagram at Meg scoop that's all
(44:45):
one word, or email us bothat Hello Anymni state of mind dot com.
I'm just so grateful for you.I mean, I'm just so I
love Meg to Zaki, guys,I do. I'm so grateful for her
of us as much as we loveeach other. Please remember to rate and
review us in your podcast app orif you're watching on YouTube Blake comments,
(45:07):
subscribe, and uh, you know, we appreciate you, we love you,
and we're so grateful for you.Yeah, because you didn't have to
be here listening to us you show. Did he acting up and just you
know getting it in? Yeah,maybe I'm feeling a little birthday girl.
You have a lot of nogs inthat very sassy so hey you guys,
(45:28):
look, thanks for tuning in andwe love you and enjoy your holiday,
Happy holiday, Happy holiday, June. Bye. Yeah, hi, low
(45:51):
bar, I'm just kidding. No, not not a low bar, not
the low bar in this moment.
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