The Loneliness Epidemic: How To Overcome Isolation and Regain Meaningful Connection

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:08):
Hey, everybody, what's going onto mine podcast? Yay, I'm doctor
Emie. In case you didn't know, when I'm ex scope, How are
you fine? Got smart glasses isa smart episode to I know. I
got my smart glasses that I've beentrying to clean incessantly all morning because I
have eyelashes and so there's like littlelike blink streaks. It's really annoying.

(00:33):
Yeah, but I'm like, please, I'm like I told my whole family.
I was like, when I die, like bearing me, make sure
my eyelashes and my nails are done. Like yeah, like make sure my
eyelashes and my nails are done.It's funny, yeah, because like like
these glasses may have streaks on them, but I'm still gonna keep these eyelashes.
So that is Hilariousyah, Like I'mnot playing. That's funny. So

(00:54):
your last lady gotta come and putlast on a corpse. Yeah yeah,
I'm gonna be allright, Like littlex's on my eyes. You have to
put the little little lashes on alittle excess. I'd be like, oh,
how much y'all pay me to dothis? Like out listen, I'm
like I love her, but shakeOh no, then I didn't do it.
I just want to look cute likelike you know, for the low

(01:17):
viewing, and then y'all can burnme up, like put me in.
Oh you want to open casket?Well, actually, legit. I want
to be cremated me too, Yeah, I want to be cremated. I
don't don't because especially now and I'mlearning, like a lot of people think
that they love them are still onthe ground and they're not. These cemeteries
be digging them up to make becausemillions of people have died over the course
of right time, and it's thesame what three like cemeteries in the city.

(01:42):
Think about it, No, it'sin every city. There's like the
same three or four cemeteries that everybodygets buried in for thousands of years.
Like there's so where are they puttingthese bodies because they like they expanding that
wide. I mean, I personallydon't mind. I know that a lot
of people have their own like religiouspreference, but I'm like, why,
like you, you just want tobe in the ground like a skeleton.

(02:06):
No, burn me up, yeah, burn me up, burn me up.
If you are a couple of organs, take those out, donate them
and then go on a trip there, there's there's the chemical chemical cremation.
Like yeah, they put like lieon your body and then lie in water
and it dissolves, and then theytake a fan essentially and they like dry

(02:27):
out your ashes and then they putthey scoop you and put you in your
low urn because when you burn,when you actually have to go through the
process of cremation, that releases alot of greenhouse gases. It's not the
environment. What they do with thislie after they don't put it on you.
They don't use it, do they. No, it's just it's it's
they take like the body and waterand they put lie on on like they
sprinkle lie and then they wait untilyour body breaks down, which probably takes

(02:52):
like maybe like thirty six hours,and then they take a fan and they
like dry out the like what aboutthat's fumes from the lie body that's not
well no, I mean I guessit's all contained. I mean, it's
no different than like what the mobused to do or maybe still does,
Like when you know, when theyhad to get rid of a body and

(03:14):
they like you would find the bodylike this was like a hundred years ago,
but you'd find the body in thebathtub, like and it would be
like dissolved with line like in theperson's house. It was really big.
Like someone told me that it startedin like in New Orleans, like with
the mafia there, and then itspread to the rest of the country.

(03:34):
But yeah, like lie or likeyeah, I mean, honestly, if
you think about it, it's likerelaxing your body. I thought it was
no lie, relaxer I know,but I'm like I'm like, no,
I want the real lie, likerelax my entire body. I want to
be relaxed. I want to beblowing in the wind literally, like my
last carbon footprint just burn me.Yeah no, no, I'm like,

(03:55):
relax my body. I'm good withthat. Yeah. So, so what's
been going on. What's been goingon over the past week, what's up
with these hot topics? Well,there was a so there was something that
came out on social media. Therewas like a big debate when it came
to spaghetti. Right, do youserve spaghetti with noodles and like sauce separate

(04:18):
or do you serve it with allmixed together? Okay, So I did
see that. I'm kind of madthat this is like this was like a
Jenna Bush like segment on the TodayShow or something. Oh they did talk
about that. Yeah, yeah,it came from social media. It came
from like one of the blog sites. But also I'm like, why is
Jenna Bush whatever, it don't matter. I would say that, like growing

(04:44):
up, I definitely remember, likeI don't remember if like it, that's
how it was made in my householdas being separate, but I really like
I have a thing with sauce onthe side. I'm definitely one of those
people. But since I've gotten olderand I'm like, oh, okay,
let me see how you're supposed toreally make like pasta, or now when
I make pasta, I'll actually Idon't boil it in a big thing of

(05:10):
water, like, I'll put itin a pan. I'll put water in
the pan and then I'll put thenoodles in and it cooks so much faster,
and then I'll take the sauce withlike a little bit of the pan
water and then mix it all together. So I would say that now I'm
a mixed sauce together person. ButI really I will say that thinking back

(05:31):
on like my early childhood and likeremembering when people be like Okay, here's
a pot of spaghetti. You justdig in and it's all mixed up.
I just be like, yeah,no. Also, it sounds weird,
like when you're like stirring it,it sounds like, you know, vaginal
sex. But also, but alsoI'm like, well, I mean,

(05:51):
what if I didn't want What ifI want more sauce on my spaghetti and
now you used all the sauce onall the spaghetti, and now I don't
have any extra saw. You definitelyare an only child. Yeah, I'm
household. A lot of people havebeen. They're gonna be like, this
is what we got. We gotone pot, go ahead and get your
mixed spaghetti together. Like it's I'mvery I'm very specific. So like if

(06:15):
Peter's like, oh, can youget me a lollipop, I'm like,
here's your one lollipop because you askedfor a lollipop. Now if you want
it to just ask for too.But I'm like, there you go,
that's it. No, I don'tknow. I think I think I grew
up the opposite, which is likeeverything was mixed together. Yeah, that's
the only way I knew spaghetti exceptwhen I went to school and they had

(06:35):
them separate, right, And soif you're like public school, you would
have to put the noodles and putthe sauce on there. And I never
liked it like that because I feltlike it I felt, well, first
of all, it was watery isI don't know what. And secondly,
I felt like it didn't like whenyou put the sauce on the noodles together,
something about the taste. You don'treally they like. It's it's like
kind of like soaks in. Yeah, exactly, because I feel like noodles

(06:58):
still cook a little bit after youwhen you put the sauce on them,
because the sauce is hot, theydo so then that soaks up some of
the liquid that you have in thesauce. But the only downside to that
is that your spaghetti ends up gettinglike you have to use more sauce when
you do it that way. Andso now that I'm an adult and I
have my own house, I don'tbe feeling like doing two things a spaghetti
sauce. I'll be like, thenoodles are here, the sauce is here,

(07:21):
you use like less sauce like that. But then when I'm at the
end of the night, when it'sdone. I just mix it all together.
Yeah, when everybody's had their plate, because I gotta put it away.
I'm not trying to put away twotuppawaars. So guess what it's all
getting mixed together? Yeah, exactly. And plus who wants like cold noodles
and like warm sauce together like thatwould? Children would? No? My

(07:41):
child is like why is there sauceon here? And I'm like, you
just wanted noodles? Kids be wantedas noodles. Well, okay, I'm
down with Okay, Like my oneof my favorite meals is just noodles and
parmesan cheese and garlic powder. LikeI just like, I mean like the
draft parmesan. Yeah, not likethe not like the real one, not

(08:03):
the I mean the one, theshell stable one. Okay, the shell
stable parmesan, the craft So Ilike that. But I mean I'm like,
yeah, I guess I like tomix some, but I don't eat
like spaghetti a lot, and weeat it like once a week. Well
yeah, because yeah, it's easy. I'm not really big on possibility.

(08:24):
Kids love it. It's easy tomake, so you have it like once
a week. Now, if somebodywas like, do you want your macaroni
and cheese separate. I would belike, if you are evil, what
if somebody did serve it like that? I'd be madds. I mean I
have a whole thing with macaroni andcheese, like please, every Thanksgiving this

(08:45):
like it always becomes like I alwaysget irritated because I'm just like, what
are these white people doing with theirmacaroni and cheese? Why are you making
a becchamel? So are bechamel?Is it bechamel? Bechame? I'm like,
why are you making a beccamel sauce? I'm like, just put the
noodles in the in the big luminofour band and then you just put all
the cheese and then the eggs andstuff together. Well then when I said

(09:07):
eggs to like one of my wifefriends, she was like, you put
it there. I'm like, yeah, how you want. It's supposed to
stay together. But I don't likethat. I know, but I feel
like theirs is like like it canit drops like like the noodles are separate,
Whereas I think like we like morebrick, well, I like macaroni.
She's with corners. Well that alsois like I noticed that's like more

(09:28):
of a macaroni pie. But that'slike, what is that. It's more
like it's more formed, like youcan cut it like you cut it,
you scoop, but it's a squareas opposed when you scoop and it starts
to like yeah, no, yeah, so that's more of a macaroni pie
technically. But I learned it inlike the Caribbean, like that's how it's
made. My Jamaicans is like,yeah, that's what it's like this it's

(09:48):
not really I've ever had Jamaican macaroniand cheese. Then, oh, I
guess I'm not really a Jamaican,but it's but it is a little more
like put together. Yeah, butthat's just because you add the egg.
Great, that's like, well whoeveryone wants the corners. Everyone wants an
edge. No, okay, well, I guess I don't be liking when

(10:09):
the top is too crunchy either.I'm like, I don't like that.
I do because because it's just cheese. Guys, it's just cheese. That's
a lot of cheese. I know. That's no. Every everybody I take,
look, we do not see Okay, sorry, I'm like, do
not put bread crumbs on. Also, don't put anything else This is how

(10:31):
I feel. Me and Peter arealways arguing about this. With grilled cheese
sandwiches, He's like, oh,it's a grilled cheese. It's it's a
short ribbed grilled cheese. I'm like, that's not a little cheese. I'm
like, that's that's a short ribbedsandwich with cheese. What's wrong with that?
Because a grilled cheese is cheese.That's it. Period, Just like,
don't be adding. Like oh,like, I saw some recipe these

(10:52):
white people was making on a TVshows around Thanksgiving, and they was like,
okay, and then to finish itoff, we're gonna add all these
vegetables to it. I was,no, do't do that. And then
we're gonna roll the dog and thenwe're gonna put breadcrumbs on it. I'm
like, well, no, it'snot fun anymore. But then you put
I mean, I'm like, that'sdouble bread. You got pasta, then

(11:15):
you got bread crumbs. Okay,anyway, anyway, it's too much,
Okay, sorry, so separator togethertogether also to macaroni with edges, okay.
And then there was something else thatI saw. I mean not that
this is news to me, butwhoopy Goldberg was talking about how she said
about her daughter and how her daughterlike they're closer now. There was a

(11:41):
period exactly, there was a periodof time where I guess from like when
her daughter was a teenager until shewas like maybe mid twenties. Woopy Goldberg
was like, yeah, I didn'tknow who she was and what she was
becoming. But now we're really tight. But she was like, even though
we're tight, we ain't friends.Yeah, And she's like, parents,
you should if you're a parent,you should not be friends with your kids,

(12:01):
right exactly. And that's yeah,like what does that mean? Because
when because some people believe, likeI grew up, my dad was like
I'm your dad, I'm not yourfriend. And I remember as a teenager
when he told me that, itwas like, well why, how well,
then don't expect me to tell youanything, right, that's my mentality
hearing that growing up. Okay,But like I understand the sentiment, and

(12:22):
I understand like when you're friends withsomebody, Like I don't understand how kids
can be friends with their parents atthat age because in order to be friends
with somebody, don't you need tosee them as like a person. And
I feel like kids don't really seetheir parents as people. They see them
as like parents. I think,you know what I think. Like with
my from my relationship with my son, I definitely wanted for him to see

(12:45):
me as a person, but healso knows I am not your friend like
I am your How do you whatis that line? Though? Like this
is gonna sound terrible, but Ithink because like when when I grew up,
my mom was very much like Iate your friend, which and I
was like, that's fine, likeevery parent, yeah, like I'm never
please, Like I never ever consideredyou to be my friend. He always

(13:09):
my mom, right, But therewere also certain things that my mom did
that I knew when I got olderand if I had a kid, that
I would not do. So alot of a lot of my parenting style
is like the opposite of what mymom did. Or there are things that
my mom didn't necessarily talk to meabout that I made clear to talk to
Weed dreas about. So as oddas this sounds, and I'm not saying

(13:33):
that everybody should do this, Likedoes my son know that I smoke weed
every day? Yes, Like hesees me actively smoking weed every day.
Does my son know that, likeoccasionally I'll take like mushrooms. Yes he
knows this, ya, but youknow, does he ever see me out
of control? Does he ever seeme like running around the street butt naked?
Does he ever see me like youknow, not within my faculties?

(13:56):
No? And that doesn't work forevery kid. But what's funny is that
I all like when he was younger, I would always be like, Okay,
well listen, I've listen to somemusic and it's gonna be a lot
of cars words in it. Youcan't say none of this shit at school,
but this shit goes and we're gonnalisten to it right now. So
I would listen to all kinds ofshit like I would listen to Luke,

(14:18):
I would listen to all other creatorI would listen to like whatever, And
he no, like he knows,like, Okay, this is as far
as I can go with my mom. But I do think that kind of
demystifying the fact that like, oh, like I'm not a person, like
I'm not, I'm I'm a superhero, like I'm your mom. And more

(14:39):
so, presenting myself as a persondefinitely helps us to have a better relationship
because we're more in tune to likeeach other's vibe, so to say,
so to speak. So if I'mlike, yeah, if he comes up
to me like later on today,let's say, and I'm like, oh
god, I just had a reallylong day, you know, he'll be
he may be like, oh,can you take me here? Or he

(15:01):
might be like you know what,let me ask Peter, or maybe I
can take an uber like he's justmore We're just more in tune with each
other. But he knows. Likethis morning, I was like, boy,
you're gonna have to get into thesedishes because I A'm doing this shit
like every morning, okay, Andhe was like okay, So it's I
don't know, Like I kind offeel like I wanted for him to be
able to know me as his momfirst, but as somebody who is you

(15:26):
know, doing, I'm like,I'm doing the best that I can.
Yeah. But the other funny thingthis was what I forgot to mention,
like my son the other day okay, so there was like a did I
tell you? I don't remember ifI mentioned this on the podcast, but
like he had a he had hewent to a school dance, and after
school dance, he was like,oh, can you pick me up and

(15:46):
I was like, well, areyou bored? Like it doesn't until ten
o'clock and he was like, no, pick me up at nine. I
was like all right, So Iwent and got him and we were driving
home and he was like, yeah, I was invited to the after party.
And I was like why why didn'tyou go to the ass party?
And he was like, well,they're just gonna be like making out and
like smoking, and like I don'treally want to get it. I don't

(16:07):
really want to do that. AndI was like nerd, But but I
mean because for me as a kid, like I always had a curfew,
like would I be invited to theafter party? Yes? Could I stay?
No? And he doesn't really havea curfew because he don't go but
he don't go nowhere, Okay,So if anything, I kind of feel
like I brought I've brought the partyto the house. So he's just interesting,

(16:33):
right, So he's like, I'mgonna just go home. It's about
to be lit at the house,Like there's probably gonna be people over there.
They're gonna be like smoking and likedrinking and listen to music and having
a good time. But also it'sI've also presented it as I worked all
day and now this is my time. Like, if you want to get
into some fun shit, you haveto do what you're supposed to do first,

(16:53):
then we can have fun. Butit just but it's just really funny
because he's like, well, yeah, all my friends smoke and they you
know, they're doing you know,they're like making out and like having sex
with each other. But he's justlike no. Now, granted to anybody
listening, he could be lying deadto my face, but he'd be in
the house. He'd just be upin here like what like, okay,
so what y'all, what y'all doing? What we know today? I'm like,

(17:15):
I don't know what's like with yourparents that he wants to hang out
with you. I am so surprised. I was like, listen, I
was like, I have to getout of this house. I have to
get out of here. These people. I can't. I cannot. But
yeah, he's like, no,I just want to. He's like,
I just want to live with youguys forever. Like nah, that's not

(17:37):
that's not gonna happen. But yeah, I mean, but but we were
talking a little while ago and youwere like, well that's maybe that's gentle
parenting, and I was like,is it gentle? Like I guess,
I mean, I've never I've neverhit him. I'm definitely yes, that's
yeah. I'm like, I'm not, I don't. I did not like
getting hit as a kid. Idid not like getting slapped in the face

(18:00):
and getting hit and like, youknow, there was an extension court at
one time. I'm like, it'slike once I was a parent, I
was like, it is not thatfucking serious. Now, granted I have
a certain kind of kid. Ifmy kid was out here doing the most
you know, maybe you know whatI'm saying. But he's just like,
no, I'm chilling, like I'mjust here, like it's cool, like

(18:21):
whatever. I feel like in away, because I demystified a lot of
the stuff that he would have beenexposed to it like like as an adult
or like in high school. He'slike, well, my mom be smoking
all the time, so like whyI'm a like I could just go home
and see that shit, Like whywould I want to go hang out with
yann smoke? Yeah? So Idid it. I did it. I

(18:41):
exposed him to like pretty much allmy vices. And now he's like,
I don't care, so I don'tknow. I mean, I I mean,
but like I said, we ain'tfriends. I'm like, I'm like,
did you do your did you doyour signmate? Did you do your
homework? Cause you know you gotto do that shit. Yeah. So
but but yeah, outside of that, yeah, but I didn't. I

(19:02):
didn't take with me. So Iguess it's gentle. I guess yeah.
Yeah, But I mean, Imean, I'm sure. I mean,
you a black mom, so I'msure with your kids, you like,
yeah, we are not friends.I don't know if I've ever said that
to Well, he's five, somy baby's want to half so she don't
like, Yeah, I think it'svery it's very clear. Yeah that mommy
has rules that I need to follow. But also like, I don't.

(19:26):
I've never whooped him the way likemy dad whooped me. Yeah, I
can't bring myself now. Has therebeen a couple of pop pops here and
there as for a toddler boy,Yes, there was a few, but
there's never you know, I don't. I don't want to whoop my kid.
I don't want to do I'd ratherjust be like, okay, if
that's how you choose to live yourlife. Like I've I've learned. That's

(19:47):
that causes him to want to changemore than anything. It's like I don't
want to do my work right now. I'd be like, Okay, you
don't have to just do it tomorrow. But remember when we did that the
last time, you were mad becauseyou had a whole lot of work to
do. But if that's the choiceyou want to make, like Finn off
doing, I'm like, okay,okay, fine, your choice, right.
So I started doing that so hecan start to be like more of
a critical thinker. But I feellike for that, like I feel like

(20:08):
that's gentle parenting, but sometimes thesekids don't be gentle children. Yea,
hey, there don't be doing that. So yeah, I mean, yeah,
I'm just trying to think back whenI was a kid, Like I
definitely, I mean, I waspretty much the same. I was definitely
opinionated. I definitely was like youknow, like I'm I'm I want to
do this, I want to dothat. But but I think for me,

(20:32):
I did want to I did wantmore freedom, and so that's where
the friction came. And I thinkthat's because you gave your son so much
freedom. Yeah, he's like he'sso free, he don't want to leave.
That's what happened, right because Iwas like, why are you here?
Why are you home? I thoughtyou went out. He's like,
oh no, I came back.I'm finished now. I'm like all right

(20:52):
then, nerd, Like I don'teven understand, like go outside. He's
like you say that, but ifhe was out there as much as you
was out and wanted to be out, then you'd be like, okay,
so curfew, I mean kind oflike maybe. I mean I wasn't bad.
I was just like I get alla's, I'm trying to go out
like I want to, Like thatwas my thing, Like I work my
ass off in school, so Ishould the reward should be that I should

(21:15):
be able to do what I wantto do like my other friends can do.
But they were like nah, really. My mom was like no,
but you also a girl, that'swhat. Okay, So we have it's
a little crueler I think it is. And that's the other thing, Like
I actually talked to my mom aboutthat in family therapy because we have family
therapy now, and I was like, yeah, like I just I never

(21:37):
liked being treated differently because it's like, oh, well you're a girl,
and I'm like and like, mybad would having a vagina. I'm like,
what the fun? But I don'tthink I had anything to do with
you and everything to do with theworld. I know, but I'm but
still, I mean, I'm like, I guess I'm just kind of like
at the time I was growing upin New York, like back when it
was like pre Giuliani, fun scaryNew York. So I was just kind

(22:00):
of like, I've seen a lotof things. Trust I'm not saying I've
seen everything, but I pretty muchfelt like I know how to handle myself
in most situations, and I'm notgoing to get myself involved in situations like
you can kind of look at thesituation from Afar and be like yeah,
no, ye like I'm not goingover there, like no, I'm cool,
thank you. See yea, Ineed help with that cause I'd be

(22:22):
like, uh, predators everywhere.Yeah No, I mean, I'm just
like I mean usually I'm like,yeah, no, I'm all right,
thank you, Like yeah, likelike keep my distance. But yeah,
I mean, I guess I dogentle parentsing. I just like I saw
this this this Instagram post this weekactually that was it was like a It
was like a father and a son. And the father was like, yeah,

(22:45):
he had. So he was recordinghim and his son and he was
like, well, you know,my son is out here tripping because it
snowed. And I remember when Iwas his age, like I would go
make money and ask people to likeshovel the driveway. And he's like,
these kids have no hustle these days, right, And the kid was like,
but I go to school and Ihave a job. And I was
like, well then, yeah,like leave him alone. He was like,

(23:07):
these kids don't have no drive.I'm like yeah, but that's also
that grind culture shit. Yeah,you know, like which I'm actively trying
to like rid myself up. LikeI'm down for making money and like doing
what I need to do, butI'm not for constantly like trying to think
of new ways to put myself outthere so I can make this money so

(23:27):
I can show these holes. Waslike, I'm like, I'm comfortable,
Like it's fine, I don't needto I don't need to wind up in
weird situations because I wanted so muchmoney and now I'm like a slaves capitalism
and doing things that could get meyou know what I'm saying, Like,
I just feel like, once youmake a certain amount of money, you've

(23:48):
probably been involved with some really nefariousshit and it could come back to you.
Whereas if you would have just donewhat you were supposed to do and
not got greedy, you know,now you don't have Like, now you
don't have these girls suing you becausethey said that you raised them as ship.
How do we get here? Becauselike, yeah, I mean there's
so much going on with that.But anyway, anyway, that being said,

(24:14):
loneliness, Yeah, it's a topic. It's a feeling we've all experienced
at some point in our lives.And I definitely have been lonely in my
life before and since the pandemic.A lot of people. It's since the
pandemic, it's really become an epidemicas far as loneliness. And I read
somewhere that people who are like beinglonely, like the state of loneliness is

(24:40):
so detrimental that it's equivalent like toyour health, like physical and mental health,
that it's that it's equivalent to smokinglike a pack and a half of
cigarettes today. Are you serious?Yes? I was, like, damn.
So as a result, of that, it's obviously become a really like
it's rapidly become something that we reallyneed to stay on top of, especially

(25:03):
you know, since the pandemic,and it's such a major contributor to mental
health illnesses or mental health issues thesedays. So that being said, it
can affect your emotional and physical wellbeing and it can be painful, like
emotionally for sure. So loneliness isthe topic of our deep dive discussion today
and we can't wait to get intoit. Oh yeah, and if you

(25:26):
like the Amani State of Mind podcast, thank you for listening to us.
Please review us on your favorite podcastapp. And if you're watching on YouTube,
make sure you subscribe, like,share it. We appreciate it.
Yeah, so per us, wehave so much to discuss, so let's
get right into it after this break. Okay, everybody, it's time for

(25:48):
one of our favorite segments, AskDoctor Emani anything. And we always love
reading your letters that you submit tous, and we're ready for some more
questions. So Meg, who isour first letter from tis? The first
letter comes from Brielle. Hey,Brielle. It reads, dear doctor Emani
and Meg, I am a twentysomething. Quickly working my way up the
corporate ladder. Lately, I waspromoted to a senior position, and many

(26:11):
of my older coworkers were not pleasedI was promoted over them. They absolutely
will not take directions from me,leaving me to work countless hours after work
to get all the work done.Since they refuse to help, they already
hate me. So I don't wantto get my supervisor involved. But I
can't keep up this pace of doingthe work for an entire team all because

(26:32):
of my age. How do Iget my teammates to respect my position and
work with me and not against me. I've been feeling extremely stressed, overwhelmed
and anxious. Wow okay, Brielle, right mm hmm. You said that
you don't want to go to yoursupervisor, but I kind of feel like
this is the time to go toyour supervisor. Yes, girl, you

(26:56):
management now? Honey, Yeah,my friends right above the which sucks,
but or ask for a demotion andthen you can be on the same level.
Was everywhere? What's important to you? Right? But it's I mean,
it sounds like you and your supervisorare going to have like a heart
to heart come to Jesus meeting withthe and I don't know, you know,

(27:17):
you said, it's pretty much likethere's a lot of people that you
supervise now that are older. Theydon't want to listen to you, But
y'all have to all like meet withthem individually or maybe as a group and
be like, listen, this isy'all supervisor now, or I'm saying your
supervisor. Brielle is going to haveto say like, this is y'all supervisor
now. Yeah. So, andyou're not their friend anymore. I think

(27:38):
that's I think I understand. Ican. I can sympathize with her because
when I was younger, I wouldn't. I remember when I got promoted and
even though there wasn't older people thatworked for me, it was like,
wait, like the people that Iwas on the same level with at work,
now I'm like kind of above them. I felt a little weird.

(27:59):
Yeah, I felt like I didn'twant you to like hate me. You're
like, I'm still I'm still meanto me. Yeah, but you're not
just you anymore their supervisor, whichyou part of a man girl? You
part you wouldn't. Yeah, soyou're gonna have to be okay with that
and learn like, Okay, well, if you're not doing your specific job,
then you got to go. AndI'm sorry because it cannot fall on

(28:22):
me. It's not my job here, this is not I don't it's not
my company. Here are the thingsthat you want to do that you're supposed
to be doing, you don't dothose like this is below my pay grade.
And actually I don't know, youknow, Brille, I don't know
how long this has been going for. This has been going on for but
you know, just a words thewise, if you start to kind of
see this creeping up again, likeyou like, as a supervisor, you

(28:45):
need to nip it in the butt. Yeah, yeah, And I know
you ask, like, how doI get my teammates to respect my position
at work? They're not your teammates. They're not you're the team leader.
They're teammates with you. They're onyour team, but y'all are not team
Like yeah, yeah, that's howdo you get them to respect you?
Is that you started doing your jobwell as their supervisor. Y'all don't be

(29:11):
doing these things. You got togo, and then I bet you they'll
start to respect you. But again, you're no longer on the same well
with them, so you can't expectthem to be friends with you anymore,
right, exactly? All right,yeah, sorry when it comes with the
extra pay, yeah exactly. So, Brial, I hope that you know
you're you're you're able to supervise movingforward, because yeah, you just you
gotta nip that in the bud,like like immediately. Yeah, because and

(29:34):
then you, like you said,you can't do everybody's job for them,
which means something is going to getmissed on your team and it's going to
come back on you and you loseyour job, right exactly. So,
so yeah, thanks for that letter, I'll write. The next letter comes
from Erica and she said, hey, doctor HARMANI and Meg. I was
cleaning up my dad's office space andfound the email exchanges between him and his

(29:55):
coworker. These emails were very inappropriate. I think my dad is having an
affair based on these letters. Now, I don't want to assume and jump
to conclusions, but I also wantanswers on what these emails mean. I
can't bring it to my siblings becausethey are super dramatic, and I can't
bring it to my mom. Justthe thought of him cheating would break her.

(30:18):
So I'm just feeling isolated, holdingonto this secret alone. These emails
are all I think about. Now. I've been obsessing on finding out more
about this coworker. What should Ido? You've come to the right person.
Okay, because as someone who haspreviously done digging on people that maybe

(30:41):
a certain love interest, a formerlove interest of mine was interested in at
the time, I guess what I'msaying is, here's what you can do.
Do you have the person's name?First of all, I'm assuming Erica,
like you've been on Facebook, Likeyou went on Facebook and you google
whoever this person wants. Yeah,yeah, yeah, Okay, So after

(31:03):
you satisfy that, I would saythat's really kind of as far as you
should go. I mean you couldyou could maybe look up their address,
but like, don't because apparently,according to Meg, that's stalking or something.
I'm just kidding, Yeah, don'tdo that. I mean, honestly,
you may just have to sit thisout. Like, well, I'm
saying, like, who is she? Who is she gonna tell what she's

(31:26):
not that she's she doesn't want totell her mom, she doesn't want to
tell her siblings. I agree sheshouldn't tell them, right, Does she
go to her dad? And belike, Yo, what the fuck is
this? Okay? All right,so what's you Okay? I got,
this is what I found. I'mnot stupid. You have until tomorrow to
tell my mother or I will.Oh you doing an ultimate Let me tell

(31:47):
you why, because if this happenedin my own family, this is what
I would do. Because number one, now I'm in an uncomfortable position right
because of something you're doing. NowI know that you're doing something negative to
my mother, right and as achild, I don't feel like children should
ever be put in a place wherethey're in the middle of their parents.
So but if I know this kindof information and I know what it's going

(32:08):
to do to her, you gottafix it. This is a marriage.
You got to fix it. Andyou got until tomorrow to tell her,
because if you don't tell her,then I'm gonna have to tell her because
I can't keep this from her,right, I cannot keep and you over
here just living your life like,oh I love my family with them dirty
lips, you kiss on that whorewith like, you're not gonna do that
to my mom, right, Soyou can tell her or I can just

(32:30):
leave these emails conveniently for her tofind which one would you rather me do?
Right? Which one did you ratherhappen? But also here's my question,
Erica, like, for real,you was helping your dad clean out
his office. Why would you allup in his computer? Though I don't
know was it letters that she said? I had assumed that it was she
said emails and found email. Ohyes, so she was right. So

(32:52):
I'm kind of like Erica. That'swhy initially I was like, you might
have to just take the back seat. No, I'll be like, first
of all that I'm sorry. Iwant to let you know that I was
still with your emails. I apologizefor a video press. However, I
now know you are cheating as meffort, so you're gonna okay. So
Erica, here's the thing. Ifthey were pronounced I, if you really

(33:12):
was all up in your dad computerlike that, then like I mean,
no, girl, no, youshould have left your computer locked. What
I'm just saying, I just don'tlike the idea, like because I've had
that happen to me as a kid. I don't like I don't like people
going through my ship. Well nobodydoes. Well, right, that's not
that's not the that's not the issuehere. If she says, this is

(33:36):
what I did, I'm wrong forthat, and I apologize. That's issue
number one. However, during thething that I just know, Beau,
No, but it's like, ifyou wouldn't have been all open my ship.
See, I hate when people dothat. Okay, I'm just saying,
as somebody whose mom used to regularlygo through my ship, like,
I'm very sensitive to that. Iunderstand your point. But I'm like,

(34:01):
if you wasn't in my ship,then you wouldn't know that I was.
Then you wouldn't be bothered that thatmade the problem. Maybe he's not cheating,
so then I would That's why Iwould say, this is what I
found. What's the deal? Okay, what's the deal? I would say,
But she's saying, But if she'ssaying, she's like, if you

(34:23):
read you, okay, let mesee, there's only certain things you can
write. So I'm assuming this isa coworker that she said. She said,
quote, I was cleaning up mydad's office and found email exchanges between
him and his coworker. End quote. I don't know what that means,
whether you was all up in hiscomputer or whether he printed them out like
a like a nerd honestly like,that's stupid behavior. Well, I mean,

(34:45):
here's me. You're not stupid,right, Like you can you can
decipher I'm reading these emails. It'svery inappropriate either way, whether it's just
inappropriate flirting or it is a true, full blown affair, anything on this
spectrum. If your spouse does notknow about it is an issue. You
know what I would do, hirea private investigator. I would because this

(35:06):
is because this is the this isthe question. This is the question that
Eric is asking I or she said, I have been obsessed on finding more
about this coworker, so go hiresomebody to do Why do you need to
know more about them when you've alreadyseen because I think she was in his
computer. Because if she was inhis computer, she really like her.
Her indignation at her dad is nowhas now dropped. If he printed them

(35:30):
out and they were like, oh, I'm helping you clean up dad,
and she's like, oh, lookat these printouts, that's different. But
if she was like the d Luluand looked in his computer, but she
I'm just saying I feel like sheshould we need more information one and two,
I think she should kind of easeup if she was looking through his

(35:51):
computer, because then your dad canbe like, well, girl, what
the fuck are you doing on mycomputer? Find all you want? But
that's the way to be at me. Is way less than the thing you've
done to my mother. Yeah,but also we don't know like what it
like. I'm not saying that thedad's not cheat Like I'm not saying if
I don't know if there was sexualintercourse. But what I'm saying is maybe

(36:13):
they're just like flirting or whatever.And I'm like, before you blow up
everyone's spot. And I'm not I'mnot averse to that, but I'm saying,
like you're about to get into likeyou're about to get in between your
your parents and their romantic relationship.Now I'm not the longer I know this
information, the worst it's going tobe. This is what I would do.

(36:34):
This is what I would do,Erica, hire a private investigator,
have that person come back to you, and then based upon the information,
go to go to your dad.Then go to the dad. Then be
like if you don't, yes,that's what I would do. Worse to
be like, Dad, I sawthis in your email, and now I
hired a private investigator. I thinkthe private investor. If the PI is
like, yeah, it's nothing,then you don't even have to be I

(36:58):
don't here's my thing. I feellike just just just seeing this, right,
Like, if my mother doesn't knowabout it, right, this is
y'all's If she don't know about it, there's a problem. If you're having
conversations with somebody that's of this natureand my mama don't know about it,
that's something y'all need to talk about, whether you're having an affair or not,

(37:20):
because obviously it's something you're hiding,right, It's not something that is
that she knows about, So there'ssomething wrong already, whether it's just flirting
fault, whether it's just just flirting, or whether it's a full blown affair,
whatever it is on that spectrum.If she don't know about it,
y'll need you need to talk toher, right, y'all need to have
that conversation, because now I knowabout it, and now I'm going to

(37:42):
feel real weird about this, likewhen I'm in the presence of you and
my mother. But I'm just thisis exactly. I'm not downplaying that.
I'm not downplaying the fact that Ericawent through her dad's emails. That's wrong.
You shouldn't invade anyone's privacy. ButI think now that you the question
is more so, now I knowthis information, what am I supposed to

(38:04):
do with it? I just feellike Erica needs to mitigate whatever could come
back to her, which is whichis the fact that like she she went
Okay, let's assume, okay,because I don't. Let let's assume that
Erica went through her dad's computer,which is fucked up. Okay, fine,
right, Erica is wrong, butit's it's going to look crazy as

(38:28):
hell for Erica to be like,Dad, I found this, because then
our dad's gonna be like, whatthe fuck are you're doing to my shit?
And then you can't go to yourdad and be like, I'm giving
you a ultimatum, and you'll belike, bit no, the ultimatum is
for you to get out my ship. But what again, the right or
it could that could have We don'tknow. We don't know if it was
a situation where she stupid. Youdon't know if the mom is gonna get

(38:52):
mad at the daughter. Maybe themom knows. Well, that's what I'm
saying. That's why I'm saying.If you're not gonna talk to your mom
about it, You're not going totalk to your siblings about it. You
at least need to talk to yourfather because there is something going on here,
and it might be innocent. IfI he might be he might be
preparing for an event for the wifein secret with some woman like maybe she's
a I don't know, right.The point is this don't look good.

(39:15):
It doesn't look also. But I'msaying like it could look bad for two
people as opposed to one. Andif it looks bad for two people,
it's gonna look crazy for everything.To hire a private investigator out the blue,
you go on Google, Oh,that's not what I mean. What
is your dad gonna think? He'sstill gonna know. He's just like why
she doesn't even have to tell becauseif the private investigator doesn't find anything,

(39:37):
she ain't even got to say shit. And then it's like, you know
what, what is not my business? Because I'm saying, I'm saying that
my hands are still together. Ican't do that. My mother has specifically
said to me like stay like thisthis situation did not occur, but it's
like stay out of She was basicallylike, stay out of our relationship,
which I agree, and I waslike, you know what, fine,

(39:59):
no problem, But if I seethis, I can't because of my relationship
with my mom. My parents areso together. If this actually happened,
one hundred percent what I would dotogether. But I'm like, I'm not.
I'm like, I'm not. I'mnot getting in the middle of y'all
shit. Like if I like,I got enough shit of my own to
deal with. If he wanted totalk to whoever at work saying whatever,

(40:21):
and I happened to see it,I don't know. I kind of feel
like it's not kind of I verymuch feel like the sort the how the
information was acquired is what's important here. I mean, it's true, but
but what you know, what now, what you're gonna do? I mean,
I listen, I can easily.It's like, this is not my
relationship. I can easily ignore shit. I can't do that with my parents

(40:43):
and my with my mother. Ifthe tables was turned, I don't know
if I probably would be with you, I don't know. I don't know
how if my mom was the onethat was doing that, I don't know.
But because it's my mom and it'smy mom is my girl, like
I love my mother. If Iknew my dad was doing something like that,
at a minimum, I'll just belike, I'm gonna just lead you.
I'm gonna print this off and justleave this. So find it and

(41:04):
then we'll see. That's the thing. I think, like me and my
mom had like you, we havedifferent relationships with our mother exactly right,
Because I'm like, well, that'snone of my business. So I'm like,
I don't know what you're gonna do, like that's on you. Whereas
you're like, oh my god,I gotta tell my mom, I would
be like, yeah, you knowwhat, I don't want nothing. I
want nothing to do with us,so I'm gonna leave. At a minimum,
I would leave if I don't wantto personally get involved. I would

(41:29):
just print them shits out and giveit, put it somewhere with my mother
would find it, okay. SoErica, I'm saying that you know,
if you found if you if youwas in your dad's computer when you know
you should not have been, thatwas wrong, then you need to hire
a private investigator if you really wantto know us up. But honestly,
if I were you, I wouldleave it, like like I'm not in

(41:52):
this ship. That's probably the rightadvice. But I'm telling you, but
I'm telling you to go all uphere. Tell you daddy, this's what
I found. I'm wrong. Youcan hate me all you want. However,
you're just as much a villain,if not more, than I am
for this. No, what isgoing on? You tell my mama or
she gonna find out about it someway, shape or fashion. You No,

(42:13):
my mom be wiling, So I'mlike, yeah, I'm good,
And then my mom could just bemad at me. That's I'm okay with
that. I'm okay with my mombeing mad at me. Yeah, I
mean, I'm find my mom beingmad too. But I also don't want
I'm like, I don't want tohave shit to do with us. But
when I think about if this wasif the tables was turned and this was
happening to me, I wouldn't wantyour child to tell you. No,
No, I would want them totell me. But I would be mad

(42:34):
that they were even burdened with this. Of course, that's whar is what
I would like? Why are yourdad even doing? Like you was wrong
forgetting your daddy's business, but whywas he even doing anything to now have
you feeling like, YO, know, I have this heavy secret that I'm
carrying that has to do with myparents. I can change the trajectory of
their marriage. I mean, thedad is messy. But but here's the

(42:54):
other option. The third option isto just be like yo, dad,
when I when I was cleaning office, I've seen some things. I don't
know what it's about that's on you. I'm just letting you know that I
saw it, and you might,you know, want to keep that ship.
Well, just basically tell your dadlike being sloppy, like you being

(43:15):
sloppy, gosh, because again Idon't want to be in this ship.
Are you already in it? Butalso like I don't know their related,
like I don't know, like youhad my mom done some ship to my
dad, Like I don't know.It doesn't matter. We all talk about
this one situation right here, theonly one I know about. I'm like,
I don't I don't want to.I'm trying to mitigate my way out

(43:36):
of this. I'm trying to likeit now. But because you're messy and
you was, you went through thememails. You went through the email,
through the email, not you wentthrough the emails that you in it.
That is what this is. Thisis what you get for going through your
dad's emails. Now you know somestuff. Now you gotta deal with it.
Okay. So, Erica, thisis the first time to be in

(43:58):
meg have vehemently this agreed, vehemently, vehemently disagreed on an answer. So
you're gonna have to write us back. Really, we need to know how
did you acquire knowledge of these emails? And I'm saying it like a lawyer
because I've been watching a lot ofs v U always, okay, like

(44:19):
like what do they always say,Babe, They're always like, that's that's
poison from that's that's that's fruit fromthe poison tree. That's frue from.
What we need to know, Ericais is this fruit from the poison tree.
That's what we need to know.Okay. But also she did ask
that she's been obsessing on finding moreabout this coworking. That's what I'm saying.
I have a private investigator. That'snot none of your business. It

(44:40):
doesn't it doesn't matter what you findout. But it was not he but
it was. It's still none ofher business. But guess what she's in
it. It's no, that's becauseshe want to be in it. That's
what happens when you snoop. Sothis be a lesson to anyone. Well,
that's what I'm saying. But butnow she knows the information. You
can't unsee what you've already seen,right, you can't. You shouldn't be
up and see. So now you'rejust unfortunately you shouldn't be in people ship
like you now have a responsibility becauseyou have the information. What are you

(45:04):
going to do with the information?Go to sleep, That's what I would
do. I'd be like, youknow what I'm not. You don't need
to be obsessing over the other haveno obligation to them. That lady has
no obligations to your mother or yourfather. So I don't think it matters
too much on I need to Ineed to see who this person. Also,
I feel like Erica doesn't have anobligation to her parents to get in

(45:25):
the middle of this ship. She'snot obligated to do that, right,
So I'm like, go sleep,Tell your mama, go to sleep.
Just go go sleep and then justliveyd I'm saying something I would Adam minute,
I would say something to my father. No, okay, well thank
you, Erica and thank you Briellefor sending those letters guys so much.
So you have a problem or aquestion. Are your daddy cheating at your

(45:45):
mama? And you want to know? No, we don't want to know.
We don't want to know because becauseMeg is wrong, is up?
I'm probably wrong. It's fine.Take it with a grain of salt.
You know what I'm saying. Pleaseset us up by sending an email to
Hello at Imani's State of Mind docbecause we want to hear all about your
business, right, we really do. I'm we're going to get into this
deep dive after the short break,yay, So doctor Monnie, I want

(46:13):
to dive right in because while alot of people are feeling all of love
this month and happy Black History Month, there's others who feel a sense of
loneliness. And I think it wasprobably expanded upon during the pandemic, especially
people who lived alone or were bythemselves or away from their families. So
I'm hoping to you today's segment toshare stories, insights, and strategies that

(46:36):
can help our listeners overcome loneliness andembrace a path to connection and fulfillment.
So was there ever a time thatyou felt lonely or disconnected, and if
so, what did you do toovercome those feelings? Oh my god.
So, first of all, yes, there, I've definitely had times when
I felt lonely and disconnected. Don'task me what I did to overcome those

(46:58):
feelings, because they were not healthythat I did. I mean, I
would say that I definitely felt lonelywhen I first when I first moved to
Philly. This was an O fourand I started my residency and I was
like, oh, I was livingin New York and I was like,
please, I cannot be in residencyin New York. Like I would just

(47:21):
be I would be completely like justdistracted like I was. It was way
too popping. I was like twentyeight. I was like yeah, no,
like yeah, like you need toget y'all ass somewhere where you don't
know nobody. But that also ledto loneliness because my schedule was so crazy.
So what did I so To answeryour question, what did I do?

(47:44):
I got depressed. I slept alot, I smoked a lot of
weed, and I would just likedo dumb shit, like I would just
buy shit like I was just likethis is going to sound crazy. But
one of the reasons why I decideto move to Philly outside of like of
all the places that I wanted togo to, one because I matched there,

(48:08):
but also because there was an Hand M in Philly. I swear
to God, which one of theseplaces should I do my resks? Well,
because like at the time, Iwas living back in Harlem, and
I lived on a Hunt twenty nineStreet, and there was an H and
M one hundred twenty fifth Street andseventh and so for me, I was

(48:31):
like, well, I would goout a lot, like like i'd go
to clubs and so I would belike, oh, let me go to
H and M real quick and getme like a little outfit. So I
was like, yeah, like Ican't be in the in fucking Jersey and
middle of nowhere like at this otherprogram. Yeah, like what am I
gonna do? So I was like, let me at least go to a
place where it's a city and Idon't know, you know, like I

(48:53):
don't know everybody there and I won'tbe out and about. But that led
to a lot of loneliness and itgot really cold, and I was just
like I was like I just hatedit here and I did I did move.
I ended up moving out here thenext year, out here in LA
But I definitely at the time Idid seek out services of a therapist.

(49:15):
I didn't end up going that wason me, But yeah, I just
remember feeling like just empty and findinglike dumb ways to like fill my time.
Like the middle time that I had, I got a lot of massages,
so many massages, like so manyof those, like just cheap little

(49:36):
like oh, lay on a tableand like you get rubbed down for a
hour, so many massages. Justyeah, like it was. It wasn't
a good look. But that beingsaid, I definitely understand what a lot
of people experience during the pandemic.Yeah, I've had an emotional loneliness and

(49:57):
physical loneliness experience, oh both,yes, s I feel like the physical
loneliness. I moved. I movedto Dallas for work, and I didn't
know a soul and I just remember, like my dad helped me move in.
My mom was somewhere and so shedidn't come with us, but I
remember I had to take them tothe airport to drop them off, and
as I drove away from the airport, I started bawling because I was like,

(50:19):
yo, I have nobody. Iliterally don't know a soul. I've
asked people, do y'all know anybody? Right? Nobody knew anything. I
was like, yeah, I'm reallyhere by myself, right, and this
new city, I don't know anythingabout the city. I don't know anyone
here. I don't even know thepeople I'm working with, Like I just
know who I'm working for. Butlike this, I'm really by myself.
And I was the first experience inmy life where I had nobody. So

(50:43):
it allowed me to immerse myself inwork, which was good because I needed
to. I didn't have any distractions. But over time, you know,
I realized I had to revert tothe things that I knew, so the
stuff that was comfortable to me.So one of the things is like for
me spiritually, like I always haveto be connected to a church of some
sort, and so I sought outchurch. So I started get involved with
that and then that helped me feellike I have more of a community.

(51:05):
And then thank god, there wassomebody who saw my a Delta license plate
on my car in my apartment andshe was a Delta too, so she
saw me one day coming out ofmy apartment. She was like is this
you? And I was like,oh what, I'm about to have to
fight out here? Like in myhead I was like, oh my gosh,
it was like, hey, what'sup, sorrow. I was like,
oh okay, yes, oh lush, I'm about that to fight,
oh gos. But but luckily fromthat I met more people, so I

(51:29):
felt like I had more of acommunity, so that loneliness didn't lasts as
long. But then I felt likewhen I had my son, I had
an emotional loneliness that kind of wentalong with my postpartum depression because you know,
when you're depressed, you don't reallywant to seek people, you don't
want to talk to people. SoI felt like I was by myself for
a lot, even though there waspeople that I that would have helped me

(51:51):
had I reached out. I justknow you weren't thinking exactly yeah. So
I just felt emotionally like nobody knowswhat I'm going through. This is so
tough. And then the like Idon't want to admit that I'm having a
hard time being a mom because thenwhat will people think of me? You
know, it's a human being andnot in my head, I was like
they're gonna think that I'm a terriblemom and I can't have that, like

(52:12):
you know, yeah, no,I feel you. It's I'm the only
child and I am really used tospending a lot of time by myself.
But I also had to like there'sbeing alone versus lonely nests exactly. You
know, like being alone is likeI'm choosing to be in this house because
this is where I want to.I'm an I'm kind of an introvert.

(52:35):
I guess what do they call it, Like I'm an extroverted introvert, Like
I can be extroverted if need be, but really I'm just kind of like,
hi, okay, so I Iusually like I've always have friends,
but I'm like okay, Like Ineed to go back in the house to
recharge. So there's like that's beingalone, like you have meaningful relationships in

(53:00):
your life versus being lonely. Likeback when I was in Philly, I
didn't know anybody, and like Ihad one friend, but like she was
in school, and then there werepeople that I knew through work, but
you know it's like you know youknow them through work, and you know,
people have their own lives, right, And I was just like,
yeah, and also I was depressed, so I just didn't really I wasn't

(53:24):
in the right headspace to know howto ask for help or even that I
was depressed. Now I can sayI was depressed looking back on it,
but back then I was like,I'm just tired all the time and my
body hurts and I feel terrible andI cry sometimes because that's just how residency
is. And it's like, wellit could be but also you could be

(53:45):
like depressed, So there's that.But it is interesting just to know that
being lonely or the state of lonelinesscan cause physical like changes in your body,
which is which makes sense. Imean, it's crazy to think about,
but it makes sense because humans aresocial creatures were meant to be social.

(54:07):
Yeah, like apes cannot live.Like if you take a little like
ape baby or a little monkey babyand you leave them by themselves, like
they're not going to do well,Like they need to have a connection.
And even though there are there area lot of people that are like I
don't care, like I'll just beby myself. It's like, yeah,

(54:27):
you're not. You're not We're notbuilt for that. Yeah, you can
be by yourself, but you willnot be like you're not, like,
yeah, you're not. You're notlike built for that. I know,
Like, especially when I was inmy when I had a lot of anxiety,
I would definitely want to be alone, yeah, because the state of
like just knowing there were other peoplearound would send me into like It's fine,

(54:47):
I can just be at home,and then I'll just be happy at
home, and then I'll just getmore depressed and it's totally fine. Cycle
starts, right, and then thecycle starts, so it's wait. Have
a question about this though, becauseI feel like I had a conversation with
one of my friends who's single andshe's been single for a long time,
and she was just like, Ifeel so lonely when it comes to like

(55:08):
romantic love, and she's like,you know, I just like, what
am I supposed to do? Andyou know, because obviously I don't have
anybody right now, but I don'twant to feel lonely either, So what
am I supposed to do? Right? And that's a good question, because
like what if you are looking fora romantic party and you feel lonely in
that way? Oh yeah, yeah, well, okay. I Another time

(55:31):
I felt lonely was when I wasmarried. As weird as that sounds,
but that kind of sounds like alittle bit about Like it sounds like what
your friend is describing. I mean, in that case, I just eventually
had to, like, you know, like break up with him, and
then I wasn't lonely because then thatmeant that me and Peter could go out

(55:51):
finally. Yeah. But but yeah, I mean for me being in a
relationship, being in a relationship andbeing lonely, I don't know. Maybe
is it because your friend's partner.She doesn't have a partner. Oh,
she's a single woman and she's fora long time, and she's saying that
she feels lonely. Oh, shedoesn't have that romantic love. And I

(56:14):
think the only thing I could tellher was like, well, you have
to fill your time. Yeah,there's other area. I think we get
so caught up because we want tobe loved, right, we want to
be loved in a certain way bysomebody. But if you don't have that
currently, what else your life canstill be fulfilling. You'll just have to
fill it with other things. Wellthat's where that's really where we were.

(56:34):
That's really where self love comes in. Yeah, yeah, exactly, now
back in Philly at the time,I remember like, oh, I really
want to learn how to rollerblade.I really want to learn how to do
this. And so I know therewas like a rollerblading like class by my
house, but my schedule was socrazy that I couldn't do it. So
barring barring. You know, ifsomeone's super busy and their schedule is crazy,

(56:58):
I would say, like, youknow, you you did like the
right thing, Like you joined achurch, like I would join like something
that you have interested. Yeah,like that's where you find your people,
right, oh, exactly, whatis right? Exactly? Like there's so
many things that like if I wasnot working that I would be doing right
now, Like there's I want totake like this construction and blueprint class that's

(57:21):
downtown that is Yeah. Like I'mjust because I always love looking at like
Zillow and like I just like lookingat homes and like I have a Pinterest.
I joke that I have like alike my dream house on print on
Pinterest, and so I have likeall these different rooms of my dream house
and I'm like, well, Ilook at Zillo all the time, like
I should really understand like like howthis works. But also like one of

(57:45):
my dreams has been I want likemy own like Barbie dream house, Like
I want my own house, LikeI want like you know what I really
want. Like this is why Iwant to go to the construction in Blueprint
class is because I want to findout if in California, in Los Angeles
County rather can I have a likemy bedroom on the second floor and then
have a balcony that has like alittle like like like a like pool on

(58:10):
it, Like is that like itslike can they not do that because of
like earthquake standards? Like I justI just I have this idea of like
a dream home, like it'll havelike instead of like a human door,
it'll have like a weed room.I'll just like you know what I'm saying,
Like like that's I wanted to betailored for me. The other thing
that I saw that I couldn't takebecause there's a wait list is that there's

(58:30):
a sewing class at LACC at LaCommunity College. But like I just don't
have time to do it. ButI'm like, oh my god, look
at me being all busy with likegood things. I wish I wasn't working
for a little bit so I couldjust take this five week sewing class,
and I feel like that's what Ithink when you're lonely, like romantic love
lonely, I think that's or evenif you're just lonely because you're in a

(58:52):
new place you don't know people.I think that's you need to focus turn
back to yourself, like what doI like to do? Yeah, what
do I like to do? Newthings that I haven't been you know,
spending time on what are some thingsthat are important to me that I have
not been nurturing because I think youwhen you take the focus off your loneliness
and you focus it on what youwant to be doing or you should be

(59:13):
doing, and then you don't havetime right to be like I'm so lonely,
so lonely. I mean also,you know, having like I call
them computer friends, Like I've hadfriends that I've our main or prime source
of interaction has been via the internet, like since you know, early since

(59:35):
early Twitter days or stuff like that. But even when I was lonely,
it was I mean, it wasnice, but it's not like the human
connection, Like even giving someone ahug can be like a mind boost.
So I think that like technology candefinitely help, like even like finding interests
or like finding a club. Ialso like was just thinking, I I

(01:00:00):
don't wanted to join this mycology clubabout like mushrooms and like funguses and stuff.
But I don't have the time.But but in any case, there
really are, like there are thingsto do. It reminds me of last
season the person who wrote in andwas like like I don't have any money,
I don't know what to do,and there's like that that blueprint and

(01:00:22):
like that blueprint construction class downtown isfree. Wow, it is free ninety
nine. The sewing class is likeone hundred nineteen dollars. But like,
okay, fine, that's like likefive weeks, Like who cares twenty hours
a week. But I think thattechnology can definitely help, like someone kind
of come out of their shell.Yeah, but you don't want to rely

(01:00:43):
on it too much, Yeah,because you still need the physical factors.
Yeah, you don't want to belike, well, that's actually what happened
because of the pandemic. There's thatthere's that phenomenon in Japan. I don't
remember the name of it, butit's this like generation of males who don't
they don't leave the house, likeever, they're always on the internet,

(01:01:07):
they're always playing games there recluses liketheir families will like drop off food for
them because they will not leave thehouse and they're just like afraid of social
interaction. I mean, that's extreme. But when the pandemic hit, I
was like, that shit is aboutto start up here because we already have

(01:01:28):
all of the tools for that.Like that's why. Even I was talking
about my son earlier, I'm like, you need to leave the house,
Like you cannot be up in hereall the time playing games. Yeah,
exactly, So he does that moreso now, which which is really good.
But I think, yeah, Imean, technology is good, but
you do need to be around somepeople, like I don't know, like

(01:01:50):
join a yoga class, Like evenlook, you might. I'm not saying
like you're going to join a classand then all those people are instantly going
to be a friend. But you'llat least be out of your own head
and you'll be able to make eyecontact with people and like talk. You
don't have to come up with atopic to talk about, like we're in
this class, that's what we're talkingabout. And then over time you may

(01:02:12):
find that some of these people areyour friends, right, and then I
know, like my friend was saying, how she's like, but I just
want somebody to talk to and I'mlike, girls, if that's really what
you wanted, then there's a lotof places where you could talk. For
example, you can download the clubhouseapp. Okay, that's nothing, but
that's all they do. You canstart your own room about a topic and
people will join and you can justtalk to these people about it. That's

(01:02:36):
one where or x Twitter has likethe Twitter spaces or whatever x spaces where
you can talk the same thing.Right, So, if that's really what
you want, then there's places forthat. And then there's people who want
to talk to you. For example, old people homes. Girl, them
old people will talk you out.They'd be so excited for you to come
in there, oh my god andtalk to them. Okay, Like,

(01:02:58):
if that's really what you want it, then there are other places for it.
And these are conversations of like,you know, you can have deep
conversations in all of these spaces.Yeah, so I understand, like you're
like, oh, I'm loan,there's other things you can do to lessen
your loneliness. It doesn't replace,but it will lessen where you're what you're
feeling at least, you know,I love talking to old people. Actually

(01:03:20):
I did. There are a lotfunny and then you'd be like what they
was doing that back then? Iknow they are so funny, So like,
yeah, I mean there's there's waysto do it. But I also
understand like sitting in a house byyourself lonely, like where do I start?
Yeah, you know they take Yeah, I know what right you have
to and even then like what doI like to do? Like where would

(01:03:43):
I do this? And sometimes youmight even have to, you know,
join a group that maybe isn't itdoesn't match you to a t but then
maybe you'll find someone in that group. It's like okay, well this group
is okay, but like really youshould check out this girl. Yeah.
Yeah, So I think in alot of ways when I think about it,
like technology, like please, there'sthere's so much stuff on Reddit,

(01:04:05):
right, there's so much stuff onReddit like oh we're gonna have a meetup,
We're gonna do this, We're gonnado that, or that's another one
meetup dot com. That's like ifyou're looking, oh yeah, that's right.
I've had I've had people that usethat before for what literally whatever interests
you, there is a meetup forit, usually in your city if you
live in a larger city, oryou can start a meet up because if
you like it, somebody else doestoo. Girl. I've seen some I've

(01:04:28):
seen some meetup groups on there thatI'm like, y'all are freaky, but
okay, they're like there's fifty peoplecoming. I'm like, okay, that's
somebuddy. Like one of my friendssaid that she was going to a meetup
route for introverts. I was like, that's so cute, but no,
but she was like, I don'tthink we're gonna do anything, but just
like kind of sit around like Idon't. I mean, I was like,

(01:04:48):
yo, that is so funny.It was like all these introverts.
You just see a bunch of themjust be like all right, okay,
everybody looking around at each other,Like so I made it out, but
right, but that works. Itworks. So I mean, yeah,
Like there's definitely ways to combat lonelinessout there, and I think, you
know, worst case scenario, likeyou can always find a therapist, yeah

(01:05:12):
for sure, and that person canhelp you devise a plan of like what
to do you know. So everybody, I hope you guys like today's deep
dive, because that's all the timewe have for today's deep divers. We
have to move on. Yes,we want to remind you though, that
you're not alone in your journey,and loneliness is a shared human experience.

(01:05:32):
So from all of us here,any minding state of mind, from all
of us, we're in this together, and we want to explore ways to
build bridges and connect as a community. So I'm going to give a little
homework this week for those that arefeeling lonely and a little homework. It's
not going to be that bad.So the assignment is to reach out to
others and nurture your relationship with yourselfbecause that's really it starts with self love

(01:05:55):
and embrace opportunities for meaningful connections.So whether it's your family, your friend,
friends, making a lost connection,a phone call, a video chat,
or a text, look at thisas an opportunity to practice wholeness.
Yeah, and that's good because youknow it's always one of those like reach
out to your strong friends. Startthere, and don't get me started on
a misconnection. I love like themisconnection on AOL like when people are like,

(01:06:17):
oh I saw you. It like, oh yeah, shop and you
were wearing this, this and that, and I'm like I'm like, oh
my god, that's so cute.So that kind of sounds scary. No,
no, no, it's like it'slike we made eye contact, but
I didn't get a chance to likeget your number. So if you see
this, like hit me up?Wait what what misconnect on a on I
almost said AOL on craigslist? You'reever seeing like the misconnections on craigslist?

(01:06:42):
No, girl, Yeah, they'recute, that's what that is. Yeah,
that sounds like stalking. Well,I mean only I mean then I
guess and if you respond, thenyou're like up for stock. I mean
it's not it's not really soft.And it's like, oh I saw you.
We were in the elevator and likeyou said hello and I was too
shy. How did you know howto find this person? You don't?
You just put it on on misconnectionsand right, and then if somebody happens

(01:07:06):
to be like, oh my gosh, that was me. I was in
an elevator, right, girl,what are the chances of that being?
It happens? Sometimes that's funny.I'm gonna go look at that something.
I've seen stuff. I've seen stuffon Instagram, like oh on overheard,
Oh yeah, overheard, and it'slike somebody like I saw this guy at
this at this place, and they'llactually like track down the guy and like

(01:07:28):
put him to yeah, and likelike a friend will see it and then
or the friend of the dude willsee it, and then they'll be like,
oh, I know who that is. That's my friend Tom, and
then yeah, and now they're yeah, no, it could listen. I
love I love stuff like that.So anyway, it's just it's a it's
a quick assignment. It's a greatassignment, yes, and it can contribute

(01:07:49):
to help them you feel more wholeand a quick reminder of those that provide
comfort when it's most necessary. Good. Yeah, So well, let's switch
gears then and get into our lastsegments called pop culture diagnosis right after this.
Okay, all right, so Meg, let's get into our pop culture
diagnosis for the week. All right, so please give our listeners a quick

(01:08:13):
synopsis of the wildest shit I've seen, like I think in my life.
Yeah, the curious case of NataliaGrace and who will be diagnosing today?
You know, this is like Ihad to like go back because I was
like, how is this even possible? This happened? That's what I'm saying.
Why isn't it crazy? So whenone of this documentary came out last
year, it was crazy. TheCurious Case of Natalia Grace had a lot

(01:08:34):
of people glued to their televisions.Now it's about this girl named Natalia Grace,
who she's assumed to be six yearsold. She's a Ukrainian orphan that
has a rare bone disorder that's kindof like dwarfism. But the crazy part
is her adopted parents alleged that shewas actually an adult who was masquerading as

(01:08:56):
a child with the intent to harmthe family. So her adoptive parents,
Michael and Christine Barnett, decided theywas gonna just move her into her own
apartment. Like it's crazy, it'scrazy, we'll talk about it. So
I want to diagnose not only NataliaGrace, but Christine and Michael, her
adoptive parents. All right, let'stalk about all of them. Okay,

(01:09:16):
all right, First of all,we gonna leave Natalia for last, because
she I wouldn't I wouldn't say thatshe really has a diagnosis. She may
have she may have had a diagnosis, but we'll talk about that later,
Okay. Michael and Christine Barnett girlwild. So they adopt a Ukrainian.

(01:09:38):
They already have three boys. Theyhave three boys, and they adopted Ukrainian.
The three boys, but hold on. One of them is a quote
unquote genius. He's an autist whois probably homeschooled by his mom, as
in she's giving him the grades.Okay, okay, yeah, but one
of their sons, this this supposedgenius. He he is like he's basically

(01:10:01):
he's like very very very good withnumbers, Like he's he's yeah, they
say he's autistics. He's like,you know, he's he is into some
numbers. Girl, he's into math. The other two kids, they're,
you know, just normal kids.They decide, oh, we want to
adopt a child, so they adoptthe little girl. So they adopt Natalia.

(01:10:23):
There were some red flags in seasonone, so season one focuses on
Michael's kind of like Michael's point ofview. Christine is never his Christine his
ex his now ex wife, isnever a part of the documentary. Correct,
Okay, Michael in season one isat the very least dramatic and at
the very most a narcissist like thisman is I pity anyone who has to

(01:10:48):
sit next to him on a planeor in a bar or anywhere where he's
alone. Like, I know wewere talking about loneliness, but I kind
of feel like Michael really needs someloneliness in his life, Like he just
he is a fucking mess. So, but Michael's like, now here's the
thing. He's Michael is very muchlike, oh my god, he's very

(01:11:10):
dramatic and like, oh I lovethis girl. And when you compare the
parents, whether it's Michael or Christine, I definitely know Christine is a narcissist.
Michael is, but Michael is moredefinitely more apt to go along with
what Christine. Right, she's shewears the pants, she's the mastermind.
Like, so essentially Christine decided thatthe Laurie short of it is that,

(01:11:35):
so Natalia Grays has I think it'scostochondril dysplasia, and I could be getting
that term wrong, but it givesher a form of Dwarfism. Right.
So this little girl, she's she'ssix. We proved if you watch the
whole documentary, she was born intwo thousand and three. They adopt her
in two thousand and nine or twentyten. She's six years old. Now,

(01:11:58):
if you have this disorder that shehas, it costs a lot of
money because she has to have alot of surgeries. And what is assumed
to have happened is that Christine,her adopted mom, decided, Okay,
this little girl is costing us toomuch money, so we have to get
rid of her and petitioned the courtand got the court to change her age

(01:12:18):
from being born in two thousand andthree to her being born in nineteen eighty
nine, which is wild wild,So she went from being legally seven to
being legally twenty two. And Imean, it's like the fact that this
even happened, because I think becausepeople are like, how could that even

(01:12:39):
happen? Like, you know,I think the mom alleged that I guess
the movie Orphan had just come outin the year before the movie Orphan had
just come out, and the doctorwho wrote the letter stating that Natalia was
in fact an adult was a familyfriend, see, and so that believing
all the stories, the mom toldus like, oh, she's trying to
heart us. She tried to putthumbtacks that are clear upright on the stairs.

(01:13:03):
This girl cannot, like my littleher hands when she raises her arms
do not. They barely go aboveher head, like maybe half an inch
above her head. This these people, Michael and Christine Barnett, alleged this
girl hopped up. She's three feettall at best at this time, that

(01:13:24):
she hopped up on their bed.Okay, I'm sorry. I was like.
Natalia was like yo, Like onthe second season when she confront of
Michael, she was like, Icouldn't see over the bed. I hop
into the bed with a knife,raise my arm and attaped to an attempt

(01:13:45):
to attack, y'all. I waslike, damn, that shit is true,
right, And then people are like, well, why didn't if the
family, you know, she wastoo expensive for their family, why did
they just basically make her an orphanagain and return her back to this Because
Christine didn't want to look like aquote unquote bad mom. She don't want
look like a bad mom. Ohfuck, but going to the extreme of
changing this child's age, and that'snot even the worst of it. Right

(01:14:09):
down the stairs, she threw thatlittle girl downstairs. She threw the little
girl downstairs. The boy who isnow a man who's autistic, had a
hot mic. He forgot his micwas on, and he was like,
so, Dad, you know,I didn't want to mention anything about mom.
I didn't want to mention. Rememberwe said that we weren't going to
talk about when mom threw her downthe stairs. Yeah, so she's it

(01:14:31):
was like, you threw that littlegirl downstairs. That's so sad and like,
so now that they they made her, I don't know how the state
even allowed the fact that she Howcan you go ahead and say, like,
oh, yeah, well, we'regonna go ahead and say she is
legally twenty two at the time,she was like eight at the time,
she was seven. Oh, shewas seven eight when the judge said,

(01:14:54):
yes, she's an adult, okay. And so what happens next is that
the parents decided they're going to moveto Canada to support their sons, like
he was in fishing. Oh wait, nobody, we didn't even get to
that point yet. Put her inthe apartment that was by herself. They
put her in apartment eight an adults. They left her in an apartment at

(01:15:14):
eight with no type of accommodations forher height and size. So she's running
around. The neighbors are saying,like, you know, she's running around.
She smells bad. She's like shittingand like peeing in her like clothing.
And then it turned out, ofcourse, like the lead, her
lease wasn't renewed. Also because she'seight, how does right, she's so

(01:15:39):
so like they didn't renew her lease. Okay, fine, and then she
so then the mom was like,fine, I'm gonna go. We're gonna
find a new apartment for you.And they put her in another They put
her in a in another town that'san hour away from them, and at
this point they decide, okay,we're gonna move to Canada because our genius
son got a scholarship to some Canadianschool. At this point when the little

(01:16:03):
girl is moved to the new townis when the like she this little girl
goes to the grocery store, Thiseight year old goes to the grocery store.
This little girl dwarf, a dwarfat that, like she's got a
disability. So when you left,this little she goes to the grocery store,
like she said, like her andher feet are disfigured, like so

(01:16:25):
she's like her feet are bleeding.She's walking in the store. The apartment
she's living in has like fourteen setsof stairs to get up like it's and
then try to get dawn, like, oh my god. So this woman
sees her at the grocery store andwas like little girl, no. And
so now so she gets adopted bythis this woman, this white woman who's
married to this black dude who's apreacher. Now she got like a whole

(01:16:48):
black parent and he is in herlife, and he is like, this
is bullshit. We are not doingthis. So there's a lot of twists
and turns to this story. Butat the end of the day, Natalia
I believe he've turned twenty four,like two weeks ago, and so she's
an adult. She's doing well.She wants to be a photographer. But
let's get to diagnosing Michael Barnett.If I ever see this man in public,

(01:17:13):
I swear to God, I cannot, I cannot. Like he he's
someone that like I would feel veryinclined to just go up to him and
punch him down in his face,like he's just terrible. And he was
like, well he was like whenAatali was like, well, why would
you let your wife do this tome. And he was like, but
I was a victim too, Andshe was like, bitch, what are

(01:17:35):
you saying? Child? She's achild with a disability. How do you,
as a girl, man, howdoes your victimization trump? Because he's
an artis and he's like, butI was a victim too. Christine was
nowhere to be found after after theshow aired and season two aired as well,

(01:17:58):
she wrote this long ass letter onFacebook that basically she took no credit
for what she did, and shekept basically like saying like this little girl,
we was trying to kill us andall this other stuff. This is
what was interesting though, when it'sso Natalia. Also, they before they
put her in those apartments they putthey took her to the psych hospital.

(01:18:18):
The psych hospital discharged her after onemonth. They were like, you have
to come and get her because therewas nothing wrong with her, Like,
there was nothing wrong with her.There were They did speak to certain staff
members who chose to remain anonymous forthe show, who said, like,
oh, Natalie was up in here, wiln she was, you know,
walking around naked and like performing sexualfavors for like the other men on the

(01:18:42):
unit. I'm just gonna say this, I work on a psych unit.
I've worked on psych units for along time. Rumors can get started that
way. So if a nurse seessomething or believe or a staff member sees
something or believe they see something,it can depth spread around. But luckily,
at the end of a month,which is way too long, someone

(01:19:04):
in charge was like, there's nothingwrong with this little girl. Get her
out of here. And that's whenthey were like, Okay, we gotta
like get rid of her, moveher apartments. It's a fucking mess.
This story is a mess. Itis the like for no one to be
dead for a true crime story,like and the fact that the dad,
Michael got off because he was chargedwith child in danger. Man, I

(01:19:28):
think they changed it because she wasn'ttechnically like legally they said she was an
adult, they wouldn't allow they wouldn'tallow that. But then instead they think
the charge was changed to like leavinga dependent right because she was she was
a dependent, disabled dependent exactly,So regardless of age, she was still
your disabled dependent and you guys lefther right. Yeah, then they got
off for that. Yeah, Sothis is crazy to me. And obviously

(01:19:53):
there's and so then The last pieceof this is, oh, wait,
you didn't diagnose, I let youYeah, I'll let you do. And
then I have something else. Honestly, I think you know Natalia. So
from what we learned on the showythey actually went to the Ukraine in the
middle of war and found Natalia's mom, which is wild. So they found

(01:20:13):
her mom and the mom was like, you know, yes, I had
Natalia. And in the Ukraine theywere like, yeah, your child is
like deformed, so you probably like, we're just going to take her and
put her in a home somewhere.Yeah, yeah, and then she was
eventually adopted. There was some talkof maybe Natalia getting molested when she was

(01:20:34):
a child, but then the photothat they showed of like, oh,
there's a man next to her,it kind of it actually looked like the
man was a doctor and the doctorwas examining her for hip dysplasia. Like
she was laying on a table andher leg like, her her knees were

(01:20:55):
like her legs were spread a chimbo, and her knees were like being kind
of like pushed onto the table becauseif she had hip displays, you would
hear a click. So it's itlooked like it looked like an exam that
I've done on kids, you know, and during my training, but you
know, we don't know that.But the but the super fucked up thing
is that Natalia's mom was like,of course I love her. I wish

(01:21:16):
I could have kept her, butthey told me there was no hope for
her. Yeah, And Natalia islike, well, I don't really want
to. She's like, that's notmy real mom, Like, that's not
my mom. So there was talkof like, oh, maybe Natalia had
reactive attachment disorder, which a lotof I guess, like orphans who may
have been exposed to trauma can bediagnosed with. But I mean for all

(01:21:40):
intense and purposes, from what Isaw on this From what I saw on
the show, like Natalia was likea sweet little girl and would ask like
Christine her adopted mom, like ohcan I help you with anything? Can
I? And the you know,and the mom was just like an evil
like the mom it was it waslike some snow white shit. It was
like her mom is like an evilstep It was really fun. And the

(01:22:01):
fact that she's because that's a wholelot of trauma, Like you know,
she donstairs that's what I'm saying,this is much. She're in a new
country with people that you don't knowthat have adopted you, So there's there's
already issues with that, right andnow you're like these people that you think
are your family are now abusing us. Theirs trying to take up crazy.

(01:22:24):
Yeah. The Christine Barnett put makeupon Italia when she was seven and was
like was was telling her like,Okay, when we go outside, tell
people like unprovoked, like oh Ilook like I'm seven, but I'm really
twenty two. She was trying toset her up on dates with grown ass
men. It's just that's disgusting.What is wrong with you? Why would

(01:22:45):
you do that to this child?Cause she because okay, So this is
what was postulated on the show thatChristine wanted to adopt a kid because Christine
wrote a book about how how Imade this genius child I have. Yeah,
so they so she got they gotNatalia. But it was clear than
Italia was just like a normal littlegirl, and so she wasn't a genius,

(01:23:06):
and she had all these hospital billsand she was like this ain't this
ain't gonna work. She thought shewas gonna capitalize on right, and she
was like, I can do thesame thing, and that's not what happened.
So it was basically like Christine's greed, Michael's an idiot, and Natalia
was just a victim of all thisship like it is, I'm telling you

(01:23:27):
for it to not for no oneto be dead in this instance, this
is the locked up. It's thewildest ship I've ever seen in my life.
And then and then the whole seasonends with the the what was her
last name? The Sam's the peoplewho had oh yeah, her new family.
Yeah, her new family that foundher and took her in, her
black dad and her black dad andher white mom. Yeah. The very

(01:23:50):
ending is like a phone call.That ship was dumb. That happened after
production was over. They called theproducers and was like, Yo, she's
crazy, she's acting crazy. Something'swrong with her. She's like basically she's
turned against us her family because ofa lie. Blah blah blah, like
we don't want anything to do withher. And then it ends, I'm

(01:24:12):
like, wait, what, wellI sawna Talia where her mom were her
you white mom like two weeks agotalking about happy birthday, taking pictures and
shit, I don't know what thatwas about, but what the The main
critique I have of this show isthat there there was not one mental health
practitioner. Yeah, not one,Like, no one y'all could have even
called me. I would have lovedto be part of shit. But they

(01:24:34):
spoke to not one person. Theyhad a lawyer, they had people from
the FBI, they had all theseother people no mental health, no one
in mental health. So it wasit was kind of like that was whack
it was. I think, youknow, the producers could have been done
a better job. It was verysalacious, but I'm glad I watched it
because that shit was. I waslike, this is the craziest should have

(01:24:56):
ever seen in my life. That'sjust like, and I watched a lot
of was shit. I just feelbad for her to like it's like enough
with a disability, but now likepeople are making it seem like you're an
adult, Like how do they leaveyou in your own apartment? They left
hot ass alone and there for ayear and a half. Isn't that crazy?
That shit is crazy? A witapartment? So they they said with

(01:25:17):
the second apartment that she had thatit was close to the adult the adult
like school so they were. Theywere like, it's a block from the
adult school, it's two blocks fromthe grocery store, and it's a block
to the police station. But thisgirl like her feet are bleeding when she
wass because she ain't got the rightshoes on. That's it for pop culture

(01:25:40):
diagnosis for today. Like, I'mso like that shit was so fucking crazy.
It was wild. Of course,we're going to have another fun character
to diagnose next week, and itprobably won't be as crazy, but it's
going to be crazy. If youhave any character suggestions that you'd like for
me to diagnose, hit me upon Twitter at doctor Underscore Emani, hit

(01:26:00):
meg up on it, hit megup on Instagram at meg scoop one word,
or email us both at hello atymanistateominddot com. Yes, and if
you are loving this podcast, pleaserate and review us on your favorite podcast
app. If you're watching us onYouTube, subscribe to the channel. Like
this video, share it with yourpeoples you know, and maybe put in
the comments. Do you have anyquestions or comments about you know, what

(01:26:24):
you'd like for us to talk abouttopics and no matter how, you shouldn't
be snooping in people's so thanks forshooting in. Everybody ta

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