November 10, 2023 • 52 mins
Election season is here, and things tend to get quite chaotic. Staying up to date with candidates, deciding who will earn your vote, and sifting through tons of misinformation can be incredibly tiring. It’s all good, though! Dr. Imani and Meg Scoop have you covered on this week’s episode with a deep dive into how we can all stay sane during the election season. They also perform a pop culture diagnosis on a huge fan favorite, Olivia Pope, from Shonda Rhimes’ hit television series ‘Scandal.'
If you'd like to submit a listener letter, please email us at hello@imanistateofmind.com.
If you'd like to submit a listener letter, please email us at hello@imanistateofmind.com.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:18):
Hey, hey, hey, everybody, welcome to me mini state of mind.
I'm doctor Emani and I'm Meg Scooped. Hi, hey girl, Hey,
what's going on? Cute? Thankyou? H oh, I love
your little little like side. Sweet. Thank you. Because you know,
curly hair just be doing what Iwant to do. I mean I wouldn't
know, well, curly hair bedoing what I want to do, so
now you know, don't I don't. I don't have I don't have curly
(00:40):
hair. My hair is just itjust stays, it grows. Have you
ever worn a wig? No?Would you ever like for Halloween or anything?
Like? You know what my Halloweencostume? Yeah? Like I I
will consider wearing a wig, butI'll probably take it off because it'll be
a cheap wig and you can kindof feel the inside itchy, itchy.
(01:00):
I don't like. I don't like. I don't like being trapped under nothing.
Okay, I don't really, Yeah, I don't. I mean I
don't have hair because I like tojust kind of let my thoughts be free
and hair keeps it in. Yes, it's like wigs are like hair hats.
Do you miss braids? No,I don't miss. I don't miss
any hair situation. I mean Iused to have braids, but like,
(01:23):
but actually braids were a lot forme because like they get you know,
like if yup gets itchy and thenyou gotta wash it, and then like
my hair would kind of frizz upthe hair that was in the braid.
Girl, But I always miss braidsand then I get them and maybe out
in a week, and I'm like, why did you do this, Magan?
Why did you sit for eight hoursto have like these like exquisite braids
(01:44):
And then you're like, oh God, get me out of here. I
know, Oh my god. Butit was going on with it was happening
in the world. I mean,you know, these people just be talking
about acta shit blah blah blah blahlah Lahla lovel Jada pink Smith. And
then I'll say, well, thenext thing, I mean, next thing.
(02:06):
We know, Jada Pinktsmith, whohas admitted to being a scientologist at
least in the past, is probablygonna try to run for office or some
shit. Girl. I don't.I just feel like this memoir is like
the preamble to something more, youknow what I mean. That would be
crazy if she ran for office.That would be crazy, but I mean
honestly, like, would you votefor her? Kind of? I know,
I'm kind of like, I don'tknow though, kind of kind of.
(02:29):
So that then, what are ouroptions? Like I don't even want
to name them, but it's probablyanother old krusty white man, right exactly.
In that case, I kind ofwant I wouldn't mind. Yeah,
And I feel like I have morein common with Jada Pinkett Smith aside from
the fact that I love fillers inbotox. But anyway, no, her
fillers in bothtox like amazing, butthey look good. I will say that.
(02:50):
Maybe I shouldn't say it, Okay, Okay, So I used to
work at this restaurant back at thein the day, okay, And she
came in there one day and Iremember I was like, oh, this
is a fresh face. She justgot the yeah, yeah, yeah,
and it was too much. Wellyeah, like I've gotten that too,
and like it takes a few daysfor it to settle. But I remember
(03:10):
when I first got it done,and like they gave me a lot of
filler, and I remember sitting inmy car like looking in the mirror and
laughing at myself. I was like, this, you look like the mask.
I was like, oh my god. I was like, you look
fucking crazy. So that shit,I was just like, this shit is
hilarious. But yes, when yougot the fresh, the fresh filler face,
(03:31):
you just be like, fuck,I don't even care, like,
yeah, I look, I looklike a cartoon and what but I was.
But at that time, I don'tthink anyone knew she was getting filler,
which you know, it's kind ofa secret in Hollywood, but it's
like everyone gets it so like becausebeing black, because most black women are
like black doun cracker. I don'tneed nothing for my face, and so
I think when I first saw it, I was just like back then,
(03:53):
yeah, but Philip, to thisbeautiful black skin, how zare you please?
I got my ship last week.All my life friends is now I
get feel like I'm like, okay, well no, I got my shit
last week. And I was like, Okay, I look a little weird
today. But then the next dayI was like, oh, snatched.
I don't even know what they doto your face because I'm looking at you.
(04:13):
They put some like on the sideof my like right by my eye
because I have like crows feet.So when they put the botox there it
lifts it up like this. Idon't even yeah because I just got botox
week agough. And then they'll doit here in like my forehead, but
they have to do it a littlehigher on my forehead or else. When
I do like this, you cansee like where the muscle stops because botox
(04:38):
paralyzes your muscle. Yeah, likethere are your face paralyzed? M yeah,
And they be like you want Theylike, do you want lightly paralyzed
or fully? I'm like, girl, give me the full pair of paralyzed.
I want a paralyzed face. Girl. This is how people but I
feel like they should study your facebecause this is how botox should look on
your face. Oh it doesn't evenbecause I've seen some people be like eugh,
(04:59):
but you're like, thank you,I'm going right down the street.
There's like so many Yeah, Imean it's I go right down the street
girl, so natural, Okay,I love take people your face. You
look like Also everybody who gets botoxand fillers and big up to la A
L L E. They be givingme discounts because they count on my botox.
Oh yeah, so yeah, Igot fifty dollars off last time.
(05:21):
Thanks you died. Yeah. Soso anyway, Okay, so we were
talking about Jada Pinkett. Yeah,yeah, maybe she'll run. I'm just
kind of throwing it out there.She has not said anything about running from
political office. Are wishing? Hey, but look, that's a great segue
to our teasing our deep dive topicbecause it's election season and well it kind
(05:43):
of is. I feel like,even though we're in twenty twenty three,
twenty twenty four is next year.Once we get halfway through a presidency,
they're already talking about like, whoare the next top contenders. I'm like
you, guys, and election.There's elections. Some places have elections next
week. Yeah that's true. That'strue. So the twenty twenty four election,
at least the presidential election will behere before we know it anyway,
(06:06):
and we want to say it nowand often don't let this election stress you
out. Okay, So we're goingto do a deep dive today on the
emotional impact an election can have onsomeone's mind and how we can protect our
piece this campaign. Yes, yeah, yeah, honey. So if you
guys are loving this podcast, whichis emining State of Mind, please rate
(06:28):
and review us on your favorite podcastapp. And if you're watching this on
YouTube, comment how you're feeling likethe video and smash that subscribe button so
you can subscribe to our channel andshare it with your sociopath friends. Ah
okay, okay, show with allyour friends, including the ones that are
maybe maladaptive. So that being said, we have a lot to discuss,
(06:48):
so let's get right into it afterthe break. Yay. So it's time
for one of our favorite segments,ask Doctor Emiani anything. We love reading
your letters and we're ready to hearmore questions. So Meg, who's our
first letter from today? First lettercomes from Ace? What up? Dear
Doctor REMANI and Meg, I hopethis letter finds you well. I'm writing
(07:11):
to seek your advice on a matterthat has been weighing heavily on my mind.
My best friend has been struggling witha drinking problem, and I'm deeply
concerned for their well being. Overthe last few months, I've noticed a
significant increase in their alcohol consumption.What was once occasional social drinking has now
turned into a daily habit. Theyoften seem to use alcohol as a mean
to cope with stress, and it'saffecting their personal and professional life. I've
(07:35):
seen them miswork and cancel plans withfamily and friends due to their drinking.
I've tried to broach the subject withmy friend, expressing my concern and urging
them to seek help, but theybecome defensive and insist that they have everything
under control. I fear that theirdrinking problem is worsening and it's causing a
strain in our friendship as well.I want to help my friend, but
(07:57):
I'm unsure of the best approach.How can I supp them without pushing them
away. I'm concerned about their healthand safety, and i don't want to
see their life unraveled because of alcohol. Okay, remind me again who this
letter is from. Ace. Okay, so, Ace, thanks for your
letter. To answer your question rightoff the bat, I don't know if
(08:18):
there's a way that you can reallyexpress your concern to your friend, and
I'll say your friend is alcoholic,like, yeah, if it affects your
professional and personal life, yeah,Like, your friend's an alcoholic. Because
when it comes to addiction, addictionat the heart of it is if you're
abusing a substance and it starts tointerfere with your work life, yeah,
(08:41):
or your personal life and also,Ace, you mentioned that your friends has
also been drinking a lot more likesignificantly more recently. So I mean we
all probably see an intervention, likewe I mean, if you told anybody
that was addicted to anything, andit could be anything, not just a
substance, like oh, I'm gonaicthis to botox or I'm gon take this
(09:03):
to like plastic surgery. Once yousay to that person like yo, I
think you might want to slow down, They're going to get really angry and
very defensive and they're gonna push youaway. So I think as a friend,
you definitely should say something, becausethat's what relationships are about, Like
it's about being honest, and ifyou really care for the person, love
(09:24):
the love the person, then youtell them exactly like how you feel and
that you're worried about them. Idon't know if there is a way for
you to say this to your friendAce without you being pushed away. I
but it is something that you needto discuss and maybe you know, eventually,
when your friend wants to get help, then maybe you guys can reconnect.
(09:48):
But right now your friend is soin the midst of addiction that nothing
else really matters that much. Yeah. I mean, I've had some alcoholics
in my life and I actually goneto alan On, which is really yeah,
which is the It's for people whohave loved friends, family who are
alcoholics, So like you go tokind of I guess it's a help group
(10:09):
for people dealing with alcoholics in theirlives. So Number one, I would
say, as a friend, ifyou're trying to be supportive, alan On
is a great resource to help youunderstand kind of like how to approach the
subject, because I didn't have anyunderstanding myself, and one of the things
that I did learn was like,hey, you can't do anything like this
is this person's addiction has nothing todo with you. You know, as
(10:31):
much as you want, you lovethem and you want them to no longer
have that addiction, Like it's notup to you. So definitely say something
as your friend like hey, Ilove you, and I see you're spiraling.
I don't want that for you.If you need someone to talk to
or if you're ready for like aresource to get help, like I'll help
you find one or whatever whatever youwant to do to help them. But
then you have to realize after that, you got to take your hands off
(10:52):
of it. So if that meanslike you can't interact with the person because
then it puts you in a badspace, then you have to tell them
like oh like or don't even tellthem, just you know, make sure
it's not affecting you personally. Butif you see that they're spiraling and you
just can't handle it, then youdo need to step away from them and
just you gotta just let them hitrock bottom. Unfortunately, nobody wants to
(11:13):
hear that about a loved one,but like you kind of just have to
because there's it's an addiction that doesn'tinclude you, it has nothing to do
with you, and there's really nothingyou can say or do except just kind
of take your hands off of it, exactly exactly. So, yeah,
very sobering letter. But I mean, but that's really the truth when it
comes to, you know, insuch a situation. Yeah. So,
(11:35):
okay, we have another letter.M It comes from Courtney, and here's
what Courtney had to say. Deardoctor Emani and Meg, I hope you're
ready for a letter that's more awkwardthan a penguin trying to take and go.
So here goes. I recently foundmyself in a bit of a pickle
my best friend. Let's call herSusie. You said, ain't this guy?
We'll call him Mark. Well,one wild night, I found myself
(11:58):
sharing an Uber and one thing ledto another, and now Mark and I
are acquaintances in a way I neverimagined. Here's the kicker. I haven't
told Susie about this little rendezvous becauseI'm not entirely sure how she'd react.
She's in a new relationship and we'vealways had that girls before guys rule,
and I know she'd be hurt ormad if she found out. But Ladies,
(12:20):
it was just a one time thing, and it doesn't mean anything,
right. I'm torn between fessing upand potentially damaging our friendship or taking this
secret to the grave and living withthe guilt. Help me, I'm caught
in a sitcom worthy dilemma here.Okay, wait, there's something missing here.
Yeah, I'm like, because shesays, Susie used to day Mark
(12:41):
and then Courtney her best friend,and then she said that one wild night,
I found myself sharing an Uber andone thing led to another, and
now Mark and I are equation.Like what happened between who's Susie and Mark
are? And now y'all have thislike where was y'all even at what we
was y'all doing? Like did youhave sex with Susie? Like no,
(13:05):
no, no, She's saying.So Courtney is saying her best friend is
Susie. Susan used to date Mark, so something happened. One thing led
to another. Courtney and Mark gotin then uber together, then they had
well that's what I'm saying. Imean, yes, I do understand,
like, oh my god, youended up having sex with Susie's ex,
right, I would assume yeah,because it was one of those like yeah
(13:28):
before guys. Yeah, but ifit was a one night stand, like
I mean, I'm not saying thatI wouldn't tell your friend, Courtney,
but I don't know. I don'tI don't know. Well, maybe I'm
prettying that was her best friend.If it was like an acquaintance, that's
one thing. But if it's showedbestie, I mean, I don't know.
(13:52):
Me and my best friend, wedidn't. We've we've dated the same
guy, not at the same time, right, And I think so here,
I think there's context that's missing here. He how long were Susie and
Mark together? Was this like thelove of her life, right or was
it just somebody she dated for alittle bit and then they were done.
How soon after they were done didthis happen? Because all that makes a
difference. If it was like yearslater, yeah whatever, But if it
(14:16):
was like a month later, yeah, a week later? Yeah? Okay,
all right, now I understand alittle bit better because this kind of
happened to me once in high school. I have a really good friend and
she had a boyfriend. But shewas like, I mean, we were
sixteen. She was like seeing thisother guy on the side, and she
had stopped seeing this other guy.And so me and this other guy,
(14:37):
let's call him Eric. That mighteven be his real name. I don't
remember his last name. I don'tknow. Like this was girl. This
was like ninety two, okay,Like we dated briefly, and I remember,
what did your friend know at thetime? I asked, So I
asked her, Okay, so thisis what happened. I asked her.
(14:58):
I was like, yo, Ericis interested in me. You're with your
boyfriends. Would you have a problemwith it? And she was like,
no, girl, go and dowhat you gotta do. And I was
like, okay, but I askedher, but yeah, but she was
lying, oh right, And sowe didn't speak for years after that,
(15:22):
and then you know, like weall older now and grown and shit,
like I've seen her when we wentto New York, when me and Peter
went to New York. But butI mean, I did apologize to her.
I was like, listen, eventhough I did ask you and you
said it was okay, she waslike, no, really, it was
on me because I should have justsaid how it felt. Yeah. Yeah.
So, I mean I understand Courtney'sdilemma. But at the same time,
(15:48):
I'm like, do you have totell your friend? Yo? Well,
if it's your best friend, yougotta tell your best friend. Well,
if you just hooked up with himonce. I mean, but that's
what I'm saying. Why wouldn't youtell your best friend? I don't know,
that's a bigger question. Why whatabout this situation makes you say I
wouldn't. She said she's afraid ofhow her friend would react, which leads
me to believe there was some shadinessgoing on, meaning either this is a
(16:12):
guy that your friend seriously liked,or you did this right after they broke
up and it was a little toosoon, or the friend is like super
emotional, like Carl Thomas levels ofemotional. But yeah, but why would
your friend be emotional unless because herfriend is Karl Thomas. That's why,
(16:33):
Like he's like, I'm saying,but do you really but if you have
a new man and you've moved onand you're happy, would you still be
emotional about something that's passed? Imean, I less it was somebody that
you were in love with, rightunless I mean, is like, I
guess what we need to know Courtneyis Susie, Like, is Susie pining
for this guy? I don't like, did you leave that out? I
(16:55):
don't know. I don't know theseriousness of Susie and Mark's previous relation.
I don't think it's that. Ithink I don't know if she's still pine
because she said Susie's moved on.I mean, but then why would Susie
really care like that? I wouldI would care if my best again,
if I was in love with thisdude, That's what I'm saying, and
this happened, I wouldn't stop beingfriends with her if I would have moved
on. But I'd be like,yo, that'sssed up, Like, why
(17:18):
would you do that? And youknew how I felt about this dude,
Like that was that's messed up.That's that'd be number one or number two.
I would be upset if it waslike you knew how I felt about
this guy and then this, becausenothing just happens. No, no,
you see what I'm saying. Nothingjust there's not enough alcohol in the world.
You there's always something you were gettingyou, there's always So how did
(17:41):
you get into uber with this man? Where was you all at that you
were partying this much? Were youdrunk or were what completely sober? Because
even when you're drunk, like Iain't gonna sit here like my best friend,
yeah, and I have a likewe have a you know girls before
guys like code as well. Like, I don't know, but sometimes when
people get drunk, like they likewhat I'm saying. Sometimes when people get
(18:07):
drunk, like they get blackout drunkand they be doing shit. Is that
what it was? That's what I'msaying. I don't know, Like we
have Okay, Courtney write us back, okay, because we need more.
We need more in fall. Soso this is gonna be the first time
probably that like we can't really answeryour question. Well, here's what I
would say, Meg, answer yourquestion. Regardless, you need to tell
your friend, tell you. Ineed to accept whatever blowback comes from that.
(18:30):
And the reason I say that isbecause if this is your best friend,
this is the one person and I'mthinking of just about how my relationship
is with my best friend, thisis the one person I don't had anything
from. Yeah, and if y'allare really truly friends, you will get
through anything, including this. Now, if your friend is gonna be mad
at you and say, like,she does have a right to be mad
at you if this was somebody thatwas very special to her and you did
(18:52):
some shady stuff and you didn't youknow. But if she's really your friend,
she gonna and she's moved on tobe like, Okay, fine,
I was mad at I'm mad atyou that after that, but eventually like
I'll talk to you again. It'sa big yeah, you should tell your
friend. I mean, I wouldn'tcare. Would you tell your friend your
best friend? If this was asituation, I would tell her. But
also I don't know if I'd getinto this type of situation like once I
(19:14):
know that like my best friend islike interested in somebody or having sex with
somebody that brother, Yeah right,I look at my brother, right,
it's a ken doll down there,like I don't care. I don't like,
I don't, I don't care.It doesn't matter to me. So
yeah, I mean, Courtney,I need some more information, like we
need some more information. Yeah,because and then that would make me feel
(19:37):
some kind of way because it waslike, hold on, wait a minute,
was you looking at him like thatthe whole right, the whole time
I'm telling you about my feelings aboutthis dude, are you secretly like plotting?
Like yes, I don't know,So I would be mad for a
while. But if it's my bestfriend, because I know her and we've
been friends for years, I wouldknow that the intention. Like if she's
like it was just so one nightsaying I'm so sorry, like then I'd
be like, okay, whatever,Yeah, I wouldn't. I mean,
(19:59):
I wouldn't. Plus I'll probably belike, well, if you really have
sex with him, telling me,like you know which way his penis beers
towards so song And if she can'tremember, then she was she was either
too drunk or too like high andfucked up or it was whack. And
then we can giggle about how wackyis in bed, Like I just like,
I'm not really tripping that is,That's what I'm saying. So I
(20:22):
feel like you can talk about itlater, like right, A, left,
which way? But you trick questionit, don't. So so let
me smell your deck? What thatthing? Yeah? Yes, oh my
god, let me smell your dick. That's I'm so glad Bet. Well,
(20:45):
actually no, I'm not because Ireally kind of miss Bet too.
Then Church came on. There wereso many good songs. Oh my god,
remember to this day. Oh mygod. Anyway, Courtney, I
need some more info. So ifyou're hearing this, Courtney, if you're
listening, let us know. ReallyI want to know, but I'm not
gonna I'm not going to pass judgmenton it right now. Meg said that
(21:07):
you need to tell your friend,and you should tell your friend, but
like, I don't think your friendsshould really care like that. So yeah,
but you should know. Yeah.So anyway, thanks Ace and Courtney
for sending these letters. And Megtell them a little bit more about what
they can do if they have abroad Yeah, if you have an issue,
you know, some happen with yourman or you know you out here
(21:30):
crazy. Let us know, senda message to us, get some advice,
hit us up, send your emailto hello at Emani's state of mind.
Okay, let's get into this deepdive right after this. From presidential
announcements to early debates and around theclock news coverage, election time can stress
(21:52):
us just out. So, doctorMONI, why do elections have such an
impact on a person's mental health?Oh my god, Like I'm getting stressed
this like I, Oh my God, Like I then you actually want to
move By the way, when wetalk about politics, I want to move
to a whole other country. Everyfour years. I'm like, like every
four years, I'm like I needto hurry up and get my Jamaican citizenship
so that I can just like lead. Like I'm like, I don't want
(22:14):
to deal with this an eat more. Okay, So elections they always bring
about and they really symbolized significant change. Maybe not bring about significant change,
but they symbolize significant change, andchange can obviously be unsettling, especially for
like humans, although we crave consistency, like the only constant thing in life
(22:37):
and our lives has change, sowe have a hard time with change.
But you know, prior to electionseason. There's always a lot of negative
campaigning, there's divisive rhetoric. Thisis going to heighten stress, it's going
to create a sense of helplessness.But today we are going to learn some
tools to protect our minds this selectionseason. All right, so cutting off
(23:00):
the TV, turning off your radio. Absolutely. So I let me see
last election cycle. I decided that. I was like, I'm no longer
on Facebook, like this is over. I could. I was like,
I can't do this. Was itlast election cycle? No? Sorry,
it was twenty sixteen, twenty sixtywhen it was like, uh, it
(23:22):
was Hillary. It was Hillary versusTrump, right, and I was just
like, first of all, Idon't really like none of these people,
but oh well, and it justgot like and then Hillary started talking about
like I keep hot sauce in mybag, and I was like, Hillary
girl, Okay, you don't.No, you don't, No, you
don't. I don't be honest.Which kind is it? Is a tabasco?
(23:42):
Right? I keep it in myrefrigerator? Or is it like Louis
Nina? Yeah, the trappies?Which one you got? I got?
I like crystals? But see,yeah, because you were a real hot
sauce lover. I don't. Iactually don't trust people who just like Tabasco.
I don't like Tabasco. You knowwhat sauce I really don't like.
But chilula. It tastes like dirt. But that's not to meet us.
It does though I'm not hot sauce. But it's like it's not like it's
(24:06):
not vinegary. And to me,that's more of like a southern South American
hot sauce, like Central American.That's what I'm saying. So I don't
I don't really feel like it's thesame category. It's not. It's not.
So don't give me no I askfor hot saw yeah, but I'm
asking for a Southern hot but outhere in La, that's all You're like,
you Wantasco. California is Mexico,girl, I know. But I'm
(24:30):
like, then I'm gonna have tostart carrying crystals in much. You better
they make little baby Tabasco bottles,but crystals, y'all need to make little
baby crystals bottles for me. Yeah, so yes, yes. Anyway,
so election season, girl, SoI stopped Facebook in twenty sixteen because it
just got to be a little toomuch. And of course I mean not
(24:52):
of course. But in my family, we've always talked a lot about politics.
Yeah yeah. And even though inmy family we're all on the same
side as far as, like,you know, our political leanings, I
think that some of us in myfamily get a little too like vehement and
very into it, like and Iget it, like it's kind of like
(25:15):
watching a real life soap opera,you know, and there's twists and turns
and every day and speculation, andit's it's it's just too much for me.
Like, I mean, it's terribleas it sounds. It's not that
I hate voting. I hate theelection process, yeah, and I just
hate that. What I don't likeabout it is that it always feels like
it's just the same thing, That'swhat I'm saying. And so it kind
(25:37):
of in on one hand, I'mlike, I don't even want to vote
anymore, But on the other hand, I am very obligated because there's somebody
who died for me exactly, Soit's like I gotta vote, but I
don't want to vote for my people. Right, Ell, you're talking about
this all ass man, this allass like these options, and I don't
even like none of y'all like Idon't like, I don't fuck with Trump,
but also with Joe Biden, Idon't fuck what you need are so
(26:00):
then that so that's why I'm sayingit makes it very hard because then it's
like I don't even want to participatein this process. But somebody literally died,
somebody literally got put dogs on them, a hose on them, just
so I could walk in here,yeah and vote, so my black ass
could walk in here. Like,so it's hard. I boys torn every
election site, it is, Butyou know what, like, well,
(26:21):
I don't know about you because youlive in Georgia, but I've I remember
seeing something years ago where some politicianor someone who was running for office had
said that really the most important electionsare local elections. Yeah yeah, yeah,
And so I really follow local electioncoverage more so than like even like
(26:41):
the mayoral race here in LA Iwas like, oh, right, know,
I'm voting for Karen, and KarenBass won, so yay. But
with presidential elections, like there's somany like like uh, I guess less
or smaller police races that will leadyou to that point. Even though it's
(27:03):
not like Trump held office. Yeah, he wasn't even like a comptroller or
all, like he was just likeboom, I'm president. But I pay
a lot of attention to local electionsand maybe, and I'm not suggesting that
that is necessarily more healthy, becausewhen I lived in Georgia, I was
like, Okay, I can't payattention to none of this shit because yikes.
(27:26):
And also like I was like,oh well, let me pay attention
to the mayor of Atlanta a littlebit. But then like he was involved
in some wild shit too, SoI mean it's just corruption. Like okay,
it's just corruption everywhere. But here'sthe thing. So my point,
which I've said now three times,is that I stopped using Facebook in twenty
sixteen, so that kind of helpedme, and then I moved over to
(27:48):
Instagram, which is now my Instagramis basically I've curated it so it's just
like dogs and like clothes and likeblack people just being black and having a
great time. Yeah, But backthen it was I was still getting a
lot of like a lot of clickbaittype of stuff, a lot of like
political stuff because I guess it,like was trying to figure out what I
(28:11):
was into. So, I mean, one of the most important things when
it comes to election season, isthat you need to set boundaries. Yeah,
yeah, what you're going to talkabout where you're going to have like
am I going to hear this?Am I gonna watch this? Right?
But I will tell you it's everywhere, even like on you know, if
you decide, Okay, well,I don't want to watch local news anymore
because I'm tired of seeing the adsyou get on YouTube YouTube is I mean
(28:33):
then the ads there are political.I was sitting there like, I just
want to watch this. Why isthis Trump ad on your This is ain't
even the right audience, Like,yeah, this is. But what I've
learned is, you know, atleast for me, I feel a little
I feel I'm kind of how youare when you said that local elections are
more important. I've learned that thoseare the ones that really affect your day
to day so you should pay attentionto those. And it feels a little
(28:56):
better because it's a little closer toyou. Like the presidential election is like
it affects the whole country. Butthe ones that affect your day to day
life. Yeah, and these arepeople that have, like you know,
they have debates in your city,or they have where you can meet these
actual officials. So to me,it makes more sense that you focus on
(29:17):
that or you cause you can actuallymake a change there. You can run
yourself, right, you know whatI'm saying exact. And I've learned that
if I do my research, Ifeel a little better about it. And
it's easier to do research in yourarea because again, these people are accessible.
They're right there exactly they're doing.You know, they're meet and greets
at your local like grocery store orwhatever, so you can go there,
you can actually talk to these people, right, And it does make me
(29:37):
feel a little bit better. Actually, I will say this last selection last
year, I went through and everyperson that I had to vote for,
because it comes out like on yourlocal newspaper or on the newspaper's website who
the candidates are in your district.And sometimes I know in LA they do
this. They'll put a little blurbabout what each person stands for. Yeah,
(30:00):
so it makes it a little easierbecause you can be like, Okay,
this is the issue, this iswhere they stand. This is issue,
this is where they stand. Sothen at least that way I can
like go, okay, I likethis person this part. No, no,
yes, yes, yes they Icouldn't find that for where I lived,
but I could look up a fewthings about the different candidates, and
so when I went to vote,it made me feel much better. And
I don't think most people do that. Well, yeah, I don't think
(30:23):
so either. And that's the thingabout politics is that it's a very emotional.
It's an emotionally manipulative like yeah,and so I like, I like
reading the news. My parents workedin news. I was always around news,
but I give myself like sometimes I'lltake the news app off my phone,
(30:44):
like and honestly, like that usedto kind of make me anxious.
But if something's really that important,like you'll know, like you'll it'll get
to you, like no doubt,but I will say that, yes,
like you. When it comes timeto vote, I do a lot of
research. So I'll go to likeoh, LA Times recommends these people,
or LA Weekly or whatever recommends thesepeople, and then I'll go through and
(31:11):
take Like I mean, when Ido research, I'm like, bitch,
okay, like I need to findout because this person might be like,
well, I you know, I'mthis way, and then you find out
that they're actually maybe opposing a propositionbecause out here we have all these wild
propositions. They might be opposing aproposition that you actually don't oppose. Yeah,
so then you have It's that's reallywhere I will just be like,
(31:33):
you know what, I don't wantto talk to anybody about this. I
just want to make my own decision. And also you can, you know
I've mentioned boundaries a little while ago, you can also really choose like,
first of all, do I wantto discuss politics with anyone? Yeah?
Yeah, yeah, that's important likeboundaries, yeah, like you don't have
to. And you know, there'slike there was always this joke about like
(31:56):
like white people be like like ifyou ask somebody like, oh, who
you gonna vote for, like ablack person to be like, well,
you know who I'm voting for.But white people they're like, well that
is very personal, Like you can'task me that, you know, like
which which also it's like, youknow, I had to The funny story
about that is like you know,people talking to you about their political views.
My parents, God bless them,I love them so much, but
(32:19):
they're so like they're even in mymom's carean. My parents are old black
people, Okay, And when itcomes to like politics. They're very what
I would probably say a lot ofolder black people are, which are like
Democrats by default default and not sayinganything's wrong with that, but I don't
(32:39):
believe you should follow anyone blindly.Yeah, And I'm never going to vote
a straight ticket in this day andage, because I do research, so
I know who I would vote for, not based on their political affiliation,
but based on what they believe andhow they've been voting and how they move
right. So and that's important.You got to you gotta look at cause
(33:00):
they can say that like I'm forthis, none for that, but it's
like, how did you vote?Yeah, exactly. And then when So
the twenty sixteen elections when it wasHillary Clinton versus Donald Trump, of course,
my parents, who are Democrats,are like I had to laugh because
it was literally every day this country'sgone down the drain. Oh my god,
(33:22):
Trump gets in office, Oh mygoodness, I don't know what we're
gonna do this like they was actinglike it was life and death, to
the point where I was like,oh, snap, maybe that like is
that really like girl, Okay,I can see what you're saying. And
then I was like, she waslike if he wins, we have to
get up and leave. We're gonnaJamaica move. She was like, well,
can you practice medicine in Jamaica.I was like no, I cannot.
(33:43):
Yes, girl, I was likeno, like, no, I
can't practice medicine in Jamaica. Andwell I understand this sentiment. It was
also to the point where like thatwas the first time I had prayed for
the nation. I mean I waslike, oh my goodness, Lord,
please don't let that man get anoffice, and if he does, like,
just protect us father God like.And now when I look back at
(34:04):
that, I was like, itshould I should never allow politics to have
me thinking like my life is goingto be that terrible? But mind you,
yes can can can elections and who'sin office affect your day to day
life? Yes? Yes? Butshould I be losing sleep? And should
I be like no, really affectedby that in that way? No,
(34:25):
If it's gotten to that point,then it's time for me to It's time
for me to run. If itgets to that point again, I need
to run well for something. Thatwas really like the twenty sixteen election was
when I was like, all right, this is where I take a tremendous
step back for all the shit,because like we had Obama and when he
(34:45):
won, it was like I waslike, I mean we all were like
the highest of highs. Oh mymy president is. I was like,
I can't believe. I was like, I cannot believe I'm seeing this in
my own life time. And thenyou know, we got some party and
hang out parties at his house,like at the White House, and they
was playing poison and everything. Theyhave d nights coming DJ and it was
(35:06):
all fun. And then Trump cameand it was like the complete opposite.
So now I'm sitting there like ourlives were over right. And then Trump
was such a please whatever. Trumpwas just Trump. And then now we
have Joe Biden and the first yearin office, there was that whole thing
down at the border between Mexico andthe US, and there was that photo
(35:29):
of these these the border agents onlike mounted on horseback, like whipping I
hate like Haitian immigrants, And Iwas like, okay, you know what,
you got me fucked up, Likeyou got me fucked up everybody.
It just seems like everyone's the same. That's what I'm the right, That's
(35:49):
why I'm just like for presidential elections. I really feel like this would really
be like this. This is kindof where I blame media because if they
were like, okay, presidential elections, they're gonna televise the debate, they
gonna listen. There were how manyRepublican debates so far too with a bunch
of people that we don't know,and the whole time all they was talking
(36:12):
about was well, you know,they were asking the questions about Trump,
and they were basically deflecting, Yeah, I'm like, first of all,
and none of y'all gonna win.So I don't even know why we hear
we know who's gonna get the nomination? Is this rigoty nigga Trump? Okay?
And then so I kind of feellike, you know, the like
media really I wish they would focusmore on local races because then it's like,
(36:35):
we're gonna get the presidential information,We're gonna get the information about the
president of the quote unquote free worldright as far as local elections, like
I don't know if you heard aboutwhat was happening in LA recently, but
like there were a bunch of likethere were a bunch of council members who
said some really racist shit about likeblack bulks and like in like like indigenous
(37:00):
Mexican people, and it had everybodylike up in arms. And and one
of the one of the councilmen,Kevin de Leone, is running again.
Oh wow, Yeah, he's likeno, I'll be here. So it's
and he may still get elected butfor me to me, but no,
it's wild Even even Biden like hadactually like and it was asked about it,
(37:22):
and like the interview like at duringa press conference, he was like,
they need to step down, likeall of the me to step down
of LA like they are wilding out. So I feel like if media gave
us more information about what was local. Yeah, and and before anybody says
like, well, I mean theydo. They do it on local news,
sure, but like local news doesn'trun twenty four hours a day.
(37:45):
Yeah, like network like network newslike MSNBC, CNN, Fox, those
run twenty four hours a day.And so well, I'm just gonna keep
like going off. But like that'swhy there's like the twenty four hour news
cycle is so problematic. Like then, like you remember when the TV used
to go off? You know that? Yeah? Actually no, no,
I do. I remember the TVwould go off, they would play like
(38:08):
the national anthem. I don't know, I was a little kids, I
don't know. Maybe it did gooff, they would play the national anthem,
the flag would wave and it wouldbe like and then the TV was
off, everybody ghostleep. And sothe twenty four hour news cycle has completely
like up ended. Like even ifyou go even if you look at a
place like India where they didn't usedto have a twenty four hour news cycle.
(38:31):
Girl Indian news, you know,how to be having little boxes with
people, they'd be having like twentyniggas up there like all their little individual
boxes talking over each other like ohmy god, I'm like, you know
what, this is crazy, Butit really does install this sense of like,
you know, impending doom and andit's you know, it's, it's
(38:52):
it's. It can be difficult toset boundaries, especially if like if you're
you're every we're all used to likelooking at our phones and watching and so
for me personally, I just disconnect. I disconnect. Yea, I have
connect. I think that's healthy inall aspects of life, not just for
like dealing with politics, but likejust to be healthy and for our mental
(39:14):
sakes, you should be disconnecting,even if it's nightly like during the day.
They said boundaries. You know,I think you know, setting boundaries
with your family. I had totell my parents, like, mind you,
I don't want to Literally, theywould come and stay with me,
and I kid you not. Istarted counting every day they stay with me.
They mentioned Trump at least one time. This man ain't been in office.
(39:35):
Why are y'all still And this waslike maybe a year ago. He
wasn't in office. They weren't reallytalking about him running just yet. My
parents would mention No. I mentionedhim once a day and I was like,
y'all, y'all, no, stopmention. I had to stop mentioning
his name. Anytime they said that. I was like, no, look
at a cloud, go look atgo outside. There's no reason for us
to mention this because they'd be like, we've been talking about something totally different.
(39:58):
They'd be like, that's just howTrump would think about it. What.
No, don't let that man mighthave Please, I'm tired of this,
Like we're not even talking about politics. Why would you bring that in
here? Yeah? I just hadto. I just so you know,
set boundaries, said boundaries, AndI know that even for a lot of
us, it's very tempting to wantto discuss all the ways which Trump is
(40:23):
terrible in all the ways that he'sbeing treated in ways that other people would
never be treated right right, rightright, and given great benefits of the
doubt and all kinds of stuff.And he has something like forty different charges
and yeah, but you know whatthat man is gonna be. Okay,
(40:44):
that man is seventy seven years old. He is almost dead, Okay,
Like, let's not allow him tolive rent free in our heads. He
might have another tanging years on him. Maybe maybe I'm saying maybe, like
okay, like legit, like Trumpprobably didn't like, so like why am
I spending time like talking about him? Like and Joe and Joe Biden old
(41:06):
than him, Girl, that's whyI just can't either one of them.
So that's what I'm saying for this, even for us, we've talked about
these these Yeah, oppressor is waytoo long. I think. I think
one thing that's important, which Ireally do want to impart on people is
make sure you're well informed, andon top of that, if you don't
like what you see, you alwayshave the ability to run. Exactly if
it's for low, if it's foryour your child's PTA, okay, local
(41:32):
you know, chambers, councils,whatever, you can do that, and
you can be These are regular peopleexactly. So I really think that if
you, if you feel so muchanxiety about it, like you can run.
These people are eighty ninety years old, like they're still doing it,
so you can do this as well. And I feel like, at least
(41:52):
if it's causing you that much angstin your own life, take powers and
matters into your own hand and run. Yeah, I would love it.
I would love it. I meana lot and change. And a lot
of young people have, like Imean younger than me, younger than you
have, like one like really bigpolitical contests recently, which I love,
(42:13):
like I'm really into like some yeah, just younger people, people with different
experiences, like like our political representativeshould be should represent us and not just
white, right. And if youdon't like what you say, then yeah,
if you don't like what you see, if what you see is very
(42:35):
unmoisturized, then go get okay,okay and see and unseasoned politicians and go,
you know, put some accent andsome lotion up in there. So
but you know that being said,set boundaries that could be so many ways.
You could, you know, gofor a walk, you could go
to the park, you could dowhatever. You could just turn just read,
(42:57):
read a book about about anything that'snot election oriented. And you know
that being said, it's just reallyimportant to just set boundaries to selection season.
So I hope that you guys don'tgo crazy because I know that it's
gonna take a lot of boundary setting. Yes, and I think we're gonna
make it through this selection season.Now. I mean, look, we
already made it through four years ofTrump. We did not die exactly,
(43:21):
and then and now what almost fouryears of Biden. Yeah, well then
some people die in both this wayoff the stage or this way. Oh
exactly exactly. So everybody take careof this election season and get you a
massage. Get your massage, right. Well, let's get into our last
secment of the show, pop culturediagnosis right after this. Okay, so
(43:50):
let's get into our pop culture diagnosisfor this week. Let's see. So
in honor of this week's deep dive, may please give our listeners a quick
synopsis of the phenomenon that was ABCScandal and who are we going to diagnose
what girl, I Love me somescandal that was like it was everybody when
it was out, Like literally therewould be people who had watch parties on
(44:12):
Thursday nights. That was me.Hello. It was created by Shonda Rhimes
and the show was a gripping politicaldrama. There's elements of thriller, suspense,
romance, and it involves and revolvesaround the tumultuous life of Olivia Pope.
Olivia Pope, love her Hope,love her Okay, And she's a
crisis management expert. She had herown firm, Olivia Pope and associates And
(44:36):
it's set in Washington, d C. So let's take a deep dive into
the world of politics and manipulation andscandal. How would you diagnose the one
and only Olivia Pope played by KerrieWashington. So yes, pig up to
carry Washington. We used to befriends in high school actually like a lot.
Really. Yeah, she's on NewYork. Yeah, she's in the
Bronx. Yeah, we did likea summer program together. So big up
(45:00):
to you carry that. Being said, Scandal Scan is a show that I've
actually never watched. What I neverbut I didn't have to because everyone like
there were recaps and like so soif I was interested, I would just
read the recap and be like,oh, okay, we need to go
back and watch it. I mean, here's the thing, though, you
need to take a break from wantorder and no girl, no go take
(45:23):
you a little season Christmas or somethingand watch the entire seasons of Scandal.
Okay, here's the thing. AndI know that I'm like alone in this,
but I'm not really like a Shanzarhymes like Perth, like he doesn't
really write shows that I would necessarilywatch, so like why because it doesn't
(45:46):
involve real murders in New York likeSVU pretty much, but also because also
I means, as you know,I like really weird gross things. I
guess for me, Scandal just seemeda little bit too like soap opera ish,
but I understand like the like theyou know, you want the romance
(46:08):
that you want everything. But forme, I was just like, okay,
you're fucking the president, like allright, like this his wife she
yeah? I mean I was likewhatever, but okay, so let's talk
about Olivia Pope. So Olivia Pope, as you said, is a crisis
manager. And what I remember themost about Olivia Pope from the episodes I
(46:30):
didn't watch, but the recaps Iread or saw, was that Olivia Pope
is very in control. She isvery, very in control all the time.
I'm Olivia Pope. I'm gonna tellyou what's wrong with you. This
is what you need to do ifyou want to win, if you want
to I don't know, like bethe cutest, be the basest vision room.
This is what you need to do, and this is how it's gonna
(46:50):
go. Yeah, But I alsoknow that with people who do have issues
with control and I and I certainlyhave had that in my life, we
are also people who have issues beingvery vulnerable. Yeah yeah, yeah,
And we also have issues with anxiety, and we may also have issues with
depression and insomnia because our minds arealways just like going, going, going.
(47:15):
I mean, for as much asOlivia Pope, if she were a
real person, for as many firesas she puts out, I don't think
she probably gets very good sleep atall now. And I feel like her
personal life in the show was likealways in shambles, always always because the
married president, you know, yeah, it was a mess. It's like
that it's she can control her professionallife, but her personal life is just
(47:37):
it falters. So if I diagnoseOlivia Pope, I would say that she
definitely has anxiety disorder. Yeah,and she really needs some therapy because I
mean, honestly, until I learnedthat it's actually kind of a noble thing
to be vulnerable, Like being vulnerableis not it was scary to me,
(47:59):
but it actually makes you like morehuman and more empathetic, so far as
far as empathy on the show,And I could be wrong. I see
her being vulnerable with the President,but no one else. Yeah, maybe
her dad, Like I remember herdad like kind of like read her.
Yeah they haven't. You know,they had a tumultuous relationship as well because
(48:20):
of who he was. But Ifeel like, well, I mean he
also knew her because that's her fought, that's her dad, you know what
I'm saying. So it's kind ofhard to not be vulnerable with people who
know you, right exactly. SoI don't know, I don't know,
I mean, but I would saythat, you know, Olivia really needs
a better work life balance, andshe definitely needs a vacation and she needs
to stop fuck with the president unlessshe's gonna be with him. I mean,
(48:45):
she's cuter than his wife anyway.But also when it comes to politics,
like you can't just be out herebeing president single and shit, because
people would be like, oh no, I wouldn't care. But a lot
of people, you know, theydon't. They don't like that. I
don't like it. They don't likethe impossibility that legedly comes with that.
Please anyway, And you know whatI just learned like a little while ago
that you know, Okay, ifyou had to guess the top state for
(49:07):
divorce, which state would you choose? Maybe like New York or California?
What is it New Mexico? What? Yeah? First of all, how
many people is even there? Five? And all of them is divorced?
Yup? All of them? AllNew Mexico. Apparently New Mexico has a
really bad like their economy is notvery good and so if you are stressed
(49:31):
about money and you don't have ajob, they have also a really high
unemployment rate. So divorces are expensive. You ain't got no money, yuah,
But y'all just gonna have to shockthem and live in a house together.
I'm like, people in New Mexicoapparently, like y'all need a full,
like y'all need a massive, likecouple session, like couple of therapy
session. But I thought that wasinteresting New Mexico. Yeah. I feel
(49:53):
like when when you're poor, youjust well, I guess we're just gonna
have to live with each other becauseyou know what, the porest dated somewhere
in their south right Alabama? Mississippi? Okay, yeah, apparently the average
credit score in Mississippi is six's eightyyeah, so yeah, and not the
majority, but I think Mississippi hasthe highest poverty rate. Whatever I'm getting
(50:17):
off topic, So listen Olivia,Pope, get your life together. Okay,
you could even listen to this episode, yes, or any other episodes.
I want them to come back outwith scandal. I loved it.
What was the other show that ShaunRhyme said about the people supposed to be
a Victorian England? Oh, theBridgeton. Yeah. I was like,
nah, I can't no get outof here you because I just have an
(50:39):
issue with like black people dressing uplike you know what I'm saying. No,
but in that world world, no, no, no, this is
a fantastical world that's not exactly it'sfantasy. Yeah, because I mean black
people is not living like that back, No, but it's it's it's nice
to see what it would have lookedlike. I guess I don't know it
is anyway. You know that wasalways diagnosis. Whatever, it's fake,
(51:00):
whatever's fae. So that's it forpop culture diagnosis. If you are into
Shonda Rhymes, then make sure thatyou watch all of her fantastical shows.
We're gonna have another fun character toanalyze next week on our next episode.
So if you guys have any fictionalcharacters or maybe reality TV show characters,
(51:21):
because we did. We did areality show personality recently that you'd like for
me to diagnose, hit me upon X I did it. I didn't
say Twitter at doctor UNDERSCORINGMANI hit megup on Instagram at Meg scoop and or
excuse me, or you can emailus at hello anymani state of mind dot
com. Yes, and if youlove this show, please remember to rate
(51:44):
and review us in your favorite podcastapp or if you're watching us on the
YouTube like this video, comment,subscribe to our channel. We appreciate the
left and we appreciate you too.Yes. Okay, so thank you everybody
for listening. Bye,
Hey, hey, hey, everybody, welcome to me mini state of mind.
I'm doctor Emani and I'm Meg Scooped. Hi, hey girl, Hey,
what's going on? Cute? Thankyou? H oh, I love
your little little like side. Sweet. Thank you. Because you know,
curly hair just be doing what Iwant to do. I mean I wouldn't
know, well, curly hair bedoing what I want to do, so
now you know, don't I don't. I don't have I don't have curly
(00:40):
hair. My hair is just itjust stays, it grows. Have you
ever worn a wig? No?Would you ever like for Halloween or anything?
Like? You know what my Halloweencostume? Yeah? Like I I
will consider wearing a wig, butI'll probably take it off because it'll be
a cheap wig and you can kindof feel the inside itchy, itchy.
(01:00):
I don't like. I don't like. I don't like being trapped under nothing.
Okay, I don't really, Yeah, I don't. I mean I
don't have hair because I like tojust kind of let my thoughts be free
and hair keeps it in. Yes, it's like wigs are like hair hats.
Do you miss braids? No,I don't miss. I don't miss
any hair situation. I mean Iused to have braids, but like,
(01:23):
but actually braids were a lot forme because like they get you know,
like if yup gets itchy and thenyou gotta wash it, and then like
my hair would kind of frizz upthe hair that was in the braid.
Girl, But I always miss braidsand then I get them and maybe out
in a week, and I'm like, why did you do this, Magan?
Why did you sit for eight hoursto have like these like exquisite braids
(01:44):
And then you're like, oh God, get me out of here. I
know, Oh my god. Butit was going on with it was happening
in the world. I mean,you know, these people just be talking
about acta shit blah blah blah blahlah Lahla lovel Jada pink Smith. And
then I'll say, well, thenext thing, I mean, next thing.
(02:06):
We know, Jada Pinktsmith, whohas admitted to being a scientologist at
least in the past, is probablygonna try to run for office or some
shit. Girl. I don't.I just feel like this memoir is like
the preamble to something more, youknow what I mean. That would be
crazy if she ran for office.That would be crazy, but I mean
honestly, like, would you votefor her? Kind of? I know,
I'm kind of like, I don'tknow though, kind of kind of.
(02:29):
So that then, what are ouroptions? Like I don't even want
to name them, but it's probablyanother old krusty white man, right exactly.
In that case, I kind ofwant I wouldn't mind. Yeah,
And I feel like I have morein common with Jada Pinkett Smith aside from
the fact that I love fillers inbotox. But anyway, no, her
fillers in bothtox like amazing, butthey look good. I will say that.
(02:50):
Maybe I shouldn't say it, Okay, Okay, So I used to
work at this restaurant back at thein the day, okay, And she
came in there one day and Iremember I was like, oh, this
is a fresh face. She justgot the yeah, yeah, yeah,
and it was too much. Wellyeah, like I've gotten that too,
and like it takes a few daysfor it to settle. But I remember
(03:10):
when I first got it done,and like they gave me a lot of
filler, and I remember sitting inmy car like looking in the mirror and
laughing at myself. I was like, this, you look like the mask.
I was like, oh my god. I was like, you look
fucking crazy. So that shit,I was just like, this shit is
hilarious. But yes, when yougot the fresh, the fresh filler face,
(03:31):
you just be like, fuck,I don't even care, like,
yeah, I look, I looklike a cartoon and what but I was.
But at that time, I don'tthink anyone knew she was getting filler,
which you know, it's kind ofa secret in Hollywood, but it's
like everyone gets it so like becausebeing black, because most black women are
like black doun cracker. I don'tneed nothing for my face, and so
I think when I first saw it, I was just like back then,
(03:53):
yeah, but Philip, to thisbeautiful black skin, how zare you please?
I got my ship last week.All my life friends is now I
get feel like I'm like, okay, well no, I got my shit
last week. And I was like, Okay, I look a little weird
today. But then the next dayI was like, oh, snatched.
I don't even know what they doto your face because I'm looking at you.
(04:13):
They put some like on the sideof my like right by my eye
because I have like crows feet.So when they put the botox there it
lifts it up like this. Idon't even yeah because I just got botox
week agough. And then they'll doit here in like my forehead, but
they have to do it a littlehigher on my forehead or else. When
I do like this, you cansee like where the muscle stops because botox
(04:38):
paralyzes your muscle. Yeah, likethere are your face paralyzed? M yeah,
And they be like you want Theylike, do you want lightly paralyzed
or fully? I'm like, girl, give me the full pair of paralyzed.
I want a paralyzed face. Girl. This is how people but I
feel like they should study your facebecause this is how botox should look on
your face. Oh it doesn't evenbecause I've seen some people be like eugh,
(04:59):
but you're like, thank you,I'm going right down the street.
There's like so many Yeah, Imean it's I go right down the street
girl, so natural, Okay,I love take people your face. You
look like Also everybody who gets botoxand fillers and big up to la A
L L E. They be givingme discounts because they count on my botox.
Oh yeah, so yeah, Igot fifty dollars off last time.
(05:21):
Thanks you died. Yeah. Soso anyway, Okay, so we were
talking about Jada Pinkett. Yeah,yeah, maybe she'll run. I'm just
kind of throwing it out there.She has not said anything about running from
political office. Are wishing? Hey, but look, that's a great segue
to our teasing our deep dive topicbecause it's election season and well it kind
(05:43):
of is. I feel like,even though we're in twenty twenty three,
twenty twenty four is next year.Once we get halfway through a presidency,
they're already talking about like, whoare the next top contenders. I'm like
you, guys, and election.There's elections. Some places have elections next
week. Yeah that's true. That'strue. So the twenty twenty four election,
at least the presidential election will behere before we know it anyway,
(06:06):
and we want to say it nowand often don't let this election stress you
out. Okay, So we're goingto do a deep dive today on the
emotional impact an election can have onsomeone's mind and how we can protect our
piece this campaign. Yes, yeah, yeah, honey. So if you
guys are loving this podcast, whichis emining State of Mind, please rate
(06:28):
and review us on your favorite podcastapp. And if you're watching this on
YouTube, comment how you're feeling likethe video and smash that subscribe button so
you can subscribe to our channel andshare it with your sociopath friends. Ah
okay, okay, show with allyour friends, including the ones that are
maybe maladaptive. So that being said, we have a lot to discuss,
(06:48):
so let's get right into it afterthe break. Yay. So it's time
for one of our favorite segments,ask Doctor Emiani anything. We love reading
your letters and we're ready to hearmore questions. So Meg, who's our
first letter from today? First lettercomes from Ace? What up? Dear
Doctor REMANI and Meg, I hopethis letter finds you well. I'm writing
(07:11):
to seek your advice on a matterthat has been weighing heavily on my mind.
My best friend has been struggling witha drinking problem, and I'm deeply
concerned for their well being. Overthe last few months, I've noticed a
significant increase in their alcohol consumption.What was once occasional social drinking has now
turned into a daily habit. Theyoften seem to use alcohol as a mean
to cope with stress, and it'saffecting their personal and professional life. I've
(07:35):
seen them miswork and cancel plans withfamily and friends due to their drinking.
I've tried to broach the subject withmy friend, expressing my concern and urging
them to seek help, but theybecome defensive and insist that they have everything
under control. I fear that theirdrinking problem is worsening and it's causing a
strain in our friendship as well.I want to help my friend, but
(07:57):
I'm unsure of the best approach.How can I supp them without pushing them
away. I'm concerned about their healthand safety, and i don't want to
see their life unraveled because of alcohol. Okay, remind me again who this
letter is from. Ace. Okay, so, Ace, thanks for your
letter. To answer your question rightoff the bat, I don't know if
(08:18):
there's a way that you can reallyexpress your concern to your friend, and
I'll say your friend is alcoholic,like, yeah, if it affects your
professional and personal life, yeah,Like, your friend's an alcoholic. Because
when it comes to addiction, addictionat the heart of it is if you're
abusing a substance and it starts tointerfere with your work life, yeah,
(08:41):
or your personal life and also,Ace, you mentioned that your friends has
also been drinking a lot more likesignificantly more recently. So I mean we
all probably see an intervention, likewe I mean, if you told anybody
that was addicted to anything, andit could be anything, not just a
substance, like oh, I'm gonaicthis to botox or I'm gon take this
(09:03):
to like plastic surgery. Once yousay to that person like yo, I
think you might want to slow down, They're going to get really angry and
very defensive and they're gonna push youaway. So I think as a friend,
you definitely should say something, becausethat's what relationships are about, Like
it's about being honest, and ifyou really care for the person, love
(09:24):
the love the person, then youtell them exactly like how you feel and
that you're worried about them. Idon't know if there is a way for
you to say this to your friendAce without you being pushed away. I
but it is something that you needto discuss and maybe you know, eventually,
when your friend wants to get help, then maybe you guys can reconnect.
(09:48):
But right now your friend is soin the midst of addiction that nothing
else really matters that much. Yeah. I mean, I've had some alcoholics
in my life and I actually goneto alan On, which is really yeah,
which is the It's for people whohave loved friends, family who are
alcoholics, So like you go tokind of I guess it's a help group
(10:09):
for people dealing with alcoholics in theirlives. So Number one, I would
say, as a friend, ifyou're trying to be supportive, alan On
is a great resource to help youunderstand kind of like how to approach the
subject, because I didn't have anyunderstanding myself, and one of the things
that I did learn was like,hey, you can't do anything like this
is this person's addiction has nothing todo with you. You know, as
(10:31):
much as you want, you lovethem and you want them to no longer
have that addiction, Like it's notup to you. So definitely say something
as your friend like hey, Ilove you, and I see you're spiraling.
I don't want that for you.If you need someone to talk to
or if you're ready for like aresource to get help, like I'll help
you find one or whatever whatever youwant to do to help them. But
then you have to realize after that, you got to take your hands off
(10:52):
of it. So if that meanslike you can't interact with the person because
then it puts you in a badspace, then you have to tell them
like oh like or don't even tellthem, just you know, make sure
it's not affecting you personally. Butif you see that they're spiraling and you
just can't handle it, then youdo need to step away from them and
just you gotta just let them hitrock bottom. Unfortunately, nobody wants to
(11:13):
hear that about a loved one,but like you kind of just have to
because there's it's an addiction that doesn'tinclude you, it has nothing to do
with you, and there's really nothingyou can say or do except just kind
of take your hands off of it, exactly exactly. So, yeah,
very sobering letter. But I mean, but that's really the truth when it
comes to, you know, insuch a situation. Yeah. So,
(11:35):
okay, we have another letter.M It comes from Courtney, and here's
what Courtney had to say. Deardoctor Emani and Meg, I hope you're
ready for a letter that's more awkwardthan a penguin trying to take and go.
So here goes. I recently foundmyself in a bit of a pickle
my best friend. Let's call herSusie. You said, ain't this guy?
We'll call him Mark. Well,one wild night, I found myself
(11:58):
sharing an Uber and one thing ledto another, and now Mark and I
are acquaintances in a way I neverimagined. Here's the kicker. I haven't
told Susie about this little rendezvous becauseI'm not entirely sure how she'd react.
She's in a new relationship and we'vealways had that girls before guys rule,
and I know she'd be hurt ormad if she found out. But Ladies,
(12:20):
it was just a one time thing, and it doesn't mean anything,
right. I'm torn between fessing upand potentially damaging our friendship or taking this
secret to the grave and living withthe guilt. Help me, I'm caught
in a sitcom worthy dilemma here.Okay, wait, there's something missing here.
Yeah, I'm like, because shesays, Susie used to day Mark
(12:41):
and then Courtney her best friend,and then she said that one wild night,
I found myself sharing an Uber andone thing led to another, and
now Mark and I are equation.Like what happened between who's Susie and Mark
are? And now y'all have thislike where was y'all even at what we
was y'all doing? Like did youhave sex with Susie? Like no,
(13:05):
no, no, She's saying.So Courtney is saying her best friend is
Susie. Susan used to date Mark, so something happened. One thing led
to another. Courtney and Mark gotin then uber together, then they had
well that's what I'm saying. Imean, yes, I do understand,
like, oh my god, youended up having sex with Susie's ex,
right, I would assume yeah,because it was one of those like yeah
(13:28):
before guys. Yeah, but ifit was a one night stand, like
I mean, I'm not saying thatI wouldn't tell your friend, Courtney,
but I don't know. I don'tI don't know. Well, maybe I'm
prettying that was her best friend.If it was like an acquaintance, that's
one thing. But if it's showedbestie, I mean, I don't know.
(13:52):
Me and my best friend, wedidn't. We've we've dated the same
guy, not at the same time, right, And I think so here,
I think there's context that's missing here. He how long were Susie and
Mark together? Was this like thelove of her life, right or was
it just somebody she dated for alittle bit and then they were done.
How soon after they were done didthis happen? Because all that makes a
difference. If it was like yearslater, yeah whatever, But if it
(14:16):
was like a month later, yeah, a week later? Yeah? Okay,
all right, now I understand alittle bit better because this kind of
happened to me once in high school. I have a really good friend and
she had a boyfriend. But shewas like, I mean, we were
sixteen. She was like seeing thisother guy on the side, and she
had stopped seeing this other guy.And so me and this other guy,
(14:37):
let's call him Eric. That mighteven be his real name. I don't
remember his last name. I don'tknow. Like this was girl. This
was like ninety two, okay,Like we dated briefly, and I remember,
what did your friend know at thetime? I asked, So I
asked her, Okay, so thisis what happened. I asked her.
(14:58):
I was like, yo, Ericis interested in me. You're with your
boyfriends. Would you have a problemwith it? And she was like,
no, girl, go and dowhat you gotta do. And I was
like, okay, but I askedher, but yeah, but she was
lying, oh right, And sowe didn't speak for years after that,
(15:22):
and then you know, like weall older now and grown and shit,
like I've seen her when we wentto New York, when me and Peter
went to New York. But butI mean, I did apologize to her.
I was like, listen, eventhough I did ask you and you
said it was okay, she waslike, no, really, it was
on me because I should have justsaid how it felt. Yeah. Yeah.
So, I mean I understand Courtney'sdilemma. But at the same time,
(15:48):
I'm like, do you have totell your friend? Yo? Well,
if it's your best friend, yougotta tell your best friend. Well,
if you just hooked up with himonce. I mean, but that's
what I'm saying. Why wouldn't youtell your best friend? I don't know,
that's a bigger question. Why whatabout this situation makes you say I
wouldn't. She said she's afraid ofhow her friend would react, which leads
me to believe there was some shadinessgoing on, meaning either this is a
(16:12):
guy that your friend seriously liked,or you did this right after they broke
up and it was a little toosoon, or the friend is like super
emotional, like Carl Thomas levels ofemotional. But yeah, but why would
your friend be emotional unless because herfriend is Karl Thomas. That's why,
(16:33):
Like he's like, I'm saying,but do you really but if you have
a new man and you've moved onand you're happy, would you still be
emotional about something that's passed? Imean, I less it was somebody that
you were in love with, rightunless I mean, is like, I
guess what we need to know Courtneyis Susie, Like, is Susie pining
for this guy? I don't like, did you leave that out? I
(16:55):
don't know. I don't know theseriousness of Susie and Mark's previous relation.
I don't think it's that. Ithink I don't know if she's still pine
because she said Susie's moved on.I mean, but then why would Susie
really care like that? I wouldI would care if my best again,
if I was in love with thisdude, That's what I'm saying, and
this happened, I wouldn't stop beingfriends with her if I would have moved
on. But I'd be like,yo, that'sssed up, Like, why
(17:18):
would you do that? And youknew how I felt about this dude,
Like that was that's messed up.That's that'd be number one or number two.
I would be upset if it waslike you knew how I felt about
this guy and then this, becausenothing just happens. No, no,
you see what I'm saying. Nothingjust there's not enough alcohol in the world.
You there's always something you were gettingyou, there's always So how did
(17:41):
you get into uber with this man? Where was you all at that you
were partying this much? Were youdrunk or were what completely sober? Because
even when you're drunk, like Iain't gonna sit here like my best friend,
yeah, and I have a likewe have a you know girls before
guys like code as well. Like, I don't know, but sometimes when
people get drunk, like they likewhat I'm saying. Sometimes when people get
(18:07):
drunk, like they get blackout drunkand they be doing shit. Is that
what it was? That's what I'msaying. I don't know, Like we
have Okay, Courtney write us back, okay, because we need more.
We need more in fall. Soso this is gonna be the first time
probably that like we can't really answeryour question. Well, here's what I
would say, Meg, answer yourquestion. Regardless, you need to tell
your friend, tell you. Ineed to accept whatever blowback comes from that.
(18:30):
And the reason I say that isbecause if this is your best friend,
this is the one person and I'mthinking of just about how my relationship
is with my best friend, thisis the one person I don't had anything
from. Yeah, and if y'allare really truly friends, you will get
through anything, including this. Now, if your friend is gonna be mad
at you and say, like,she does have a right to be mad
at you if this was somebody thatwas very special to her and you did
(18:52):
some shady stuff and you didn't youknow. But if she's really your friend,
she gonna and she's moved on tobe like, Okay, fine,
I was mad at I'm mad atyou that after that, but eventually like
I'll talk to you again. It'sa big yeah, you should tell your
friend. I mean, I wouldn'tcare. Would you tell your friend your
best friend? If this was asituation, I would tell her. But
also I don't know if I'd getinto this type of situation like once I
(19:14):
know that like my best friend islike interested in somebody or having sex with
somebody that brother, Yeah right,I look at my brother, right,
it's a ken doll down there,like I don't care. I don't like,
I don't, I don't care.It doesn't matter to me. So
yeah, I mean, Courtney,I need some more information, like we
need some more information. Yeah,because and then that would make me feel
(19:37):
some kind of way because it waslike, hold on, wait a minute,
was you looking at him like thatthe whole right, the whole time
I'm telling you about my feelings aboutthis dude, are you secretly like plotting?
Like yes, I don't know,So I would be mad for a
while. But if it's my bestfriend, because I know her and we've
been friends for years, I wouldknow that the intention. Like if she's
like it was just so one nightsaying I'm so sorry, like then I'd
be like, okay, whatever,Yeah, I wouldn't. I mean,
(19:59):
I wouldn't. Plus I'll probably belike, well, if you really have
sex with him, telling me,like you know which way his penis beers
towards so song And if she can'tremember, then she was she was either
too drunk or too like high andfucked up or it was whack. And
then we can giggle about how wackyis in bed, Like I just like,
I'm not really tripping that is,That's what I'm saying. So I
(20:22):
feel like you can talk about itlater, like right, A, left,
which way? But you trick questionit, don't. So so let
me smell your deck? What thatthing? Yeah? Yes, oh my
god, let me smell your dick. That's I'm so glad Bet. Well,
(20:45):
actually no, I'm not because Ireally kind of miss Bet too.
Then Church came on. There wereso many good songs. Oh my god,
remember to this day. Oh mygod. Anyway, Courtney, I
need some more info. So ifyou're hearing this, Courtney, if you're
listening, let us know. ReallyI want to know, but I'm not
gonna I'm not going to pass judgmenton it right now. Meg said that
(21:07):
you need to tell your friend,and you should tell your friend, but
like, I don't think your friendsshould really care like that. So yeah,
but you should know. Yeah.So anyway, thanks Ace and Courtney
for sending these letters. And Megtell them a little bit more about what
they can do if they have abroad Yeah, if you have an issue,
you know, some happen with yourman or you know you out here
(21:30):
crazy. Let us know, senda message to us, get some advice,
hit us up, send your emailto hello at Emani's state of mind.
Okay, let's get into this deepdive right after this. From presidential
announcements to early debates and around theclock news coverage, election time can stress
(21:52):
us just out. So, doctorMONI, why do elections have such an
impact on a person's mental health?Oh my god, Like I'm getting stressed
this like I, Oh my God, Like I then you actually want to
move By the way, when wetalk about politics, I want to move
to a whole other country. Everyfour years. I'm like, like every
four years, I'm like I needto hurry up and get my Jamaican citizenship
so that I can just like lead. Like I'm like, I don't want
(22:14):
to deal with this an eat more. Okay, So elections they always bring
about and they really symbolized significant change. Maybe not bring about significant change,
but they symbolize significant change, andchange can obviously be unsettling, especially for
like humans, although we crave consistency, like the only constant thing in life
(22:37):
and our lives has change, sowe have a hard time with change.
But you know, prior to electionseason. There's always a lot of negative
campaigning, there's divisive rhetoric. Thisis going to heighten stress, it's going
to create a sense of helplessness.But today we are going to learn some
tools to protect our minds this selectionseason. All right, so cutting off
(23:00):
the TV, turning off your radio. Absolutely. So I let me see
last election cycle. I decided that. I was like, I'm no longer
on Facebook, like this is over. I could. I was like,
I can't do this. Was itlast election cycle? No? Sorry,
it was twenty sixteen, twenty sixtywhen it was like, uh, it
(23:22):
was Hillary. It was Hillary versusTrump, right, and I was just
like, first of all, Idon't really like none of these people,
but oh well, and it justgot like and then Hillary started talking about
like I keep hot sauce in mybag, and I was like, Hillary
girl, Okay, you don't.No, you don't, No, you
don't. I don't be honest.Which kind is it? Is a tabasco?
(23:42):
Right? I keep it in myrefrigerator? Or is it like Louis
Nina? Yeah, the trappies?Which one you got? I got?
I like crystals? But see,yeah, because you were a real hot
sauce lover. I don't. Iactually don't trust people who just like Tabasco.
I don't like Tabasco. You knowwhat sauce I really don't like.
But chilula. It tastes like dirt. But that's not to meet us.
It does though I'm not hot sauce. But it's like it's not like it's
(24:06):
not vinegary. And to me,that's more of like a southern South American
hot sauce, like Central American.That's what I'm saying. So I don't
I don't really feel like it's thesame category. It's not. It's not.
So don't give me no I askfor hot saw yeah, but I'm
asking for a Southern hot but outhere in La, that's all You're like,
you Wantasco. California is Mexico,girl, I know. But I'm
(24:30):
like, then I'm gonna have tostart carrying crystals in much. You better
they make little baby Tabasco bottles,but crystals, y'all need to make little
baby crystals bottles for me. Yeah, so yes, yes. Anyway,
so election season, girl, SoI stopped Facebook in twenty sixteen because it
just got to be a little toomuch. And of course I mean not
(24:52):
of course. But in my family, we've always talked a lot about politics.
Yeah yeah. And even though inmy family we're all on the same
side as far as, like,you know, our political leanings, I
think that some of us in myfamily get a little too like vehement and
very into it, like and Iget it, like it's kind of like
(25:15):
watching a real life soap opera,you know, and there's twists and turns
and every day and speculation, andit's it's it's just too much for me.
Like, I mean, it's terribleas it sounds. It's not that
I hate voting. I hate theelection process, yeah, and I just
hate that. What I don't likeabout it is that it always feels like
it's just the same thing, That'swhat I'm saying. And so it kind
(25:37):
of in on one hand, I'mlike, I don't even want to vote
anymore, But on the other hand, I am very obligated because there's somebody
who died for me exactly, Soit's like I gotta vote, but I
don't want to vote for my people. Right, Ell, you're talking about
this all ass man, this allass like these options, and I don't
even like none of y'all like Idon't like, I don't fuck with Trump,
but also with Joe Biden, Idon't fuck what you need are so
(26:00):
then that so that's why I'm sayingit makes it very hard because then it's
like I don't even want to participatein this process. But somebody literally died,
somebody literally got put dogs on them, a hose on them, just
so I could walk in here,yeah and vote, so my black ass
could walk in here. Like,so it's hard. I boys torn every
election site, it is, Butyou know what, like, well,
(26:21):
I don't know about you because youlive in Georgia, but I've I remember
seeing something years ago where some politicianor someone who was running for office had
said that really the most important electionsare local elections. Yeah yeah, yeah,
And so I really follow local electioncoverage more so than like even like
(26:41):
the mayoral race here in LA Iwas like, oh, right, know,
I'm voting for Karen, and KarenBass won, so yay. But
with presidential elections, like there's somany like like uh, I guess less
or smaller police races that will leadyou to that point. Even though it's
(27:03):
not like Trump held office. Yeah, he wasn't even like a comptroller or
all, like he was just likeboom, I'm president. But I pay
a lot of attention to local electionsand maybe, and I'm not suggesting that
that is necessarily more healthy, becausewhen I lived in Georgia, I was
like, Okay, I can't payattention to none of this shit because yikes.
(27:26):
And also like I was like,oh well, let me pay attention
to the mayor of Atlanta a littlebit. But then like he was involved
in some wild shit too, SoI mean it's just corruption. Like okay,
it's just corruption everywhere. But here'sthe thing. So my point,
which I've said now three times,is that I stopped using Facebook in twenty
sixteen, so that kind of helpedme, and then I moved over to
(27:48):
Instagram, which is now my Instagramis basically I've curated it so it's just
like dogs and like clothes and likeblack people just being black and having a
great time. Yeah, But backthen it was I was still getting a
lot of like a lot of clickbaittype of stuff, a lot of like
political stuff because I guess it,like was trying to figure out what I
(28:11):
was into. So, I mean, one of the most important things when
it comes to election season, isthat you need to set boundaries. Yeah,
yeah, what you're going to talkabout where you're going to have like
am I going to hear this?Am I gonna watch this? Right?
But I will tell you it's everywhere, even like on you know, if
you decide, Okay, well,I don't want to watch local news anymore
because I'm tired of seeing the adsyou get on YouTube YouTube is I mean
(28:33):
then the ads there are political.I was sitting there like, I just
want to watch this. Why isthis Trump ad on your This is ain't
even the right audience, Like,yeah, this is. But what I've
learned is, you know, atleast for me, I feel a little
I feel I'm kind of how youare when you said that local elections are
more important. I've learned that thoseare the ones that really affect your day
to day so you should pay attentionto those. And it feels a little
(28:56):
better because it's a little closer toyou. Like the presidential election is like
it affects the whole country. Butthe ones that affect your day to day
life. Yeah, and these arepeople that have, like you know,
they have debates in your city,or they have where you can meet these
actual officials. So to me,it makes more sense that you focus on
(29:17):
that or you cause you can actuallymake a change there. You can run
yourself, right, you know whatI'm saying exact. And I've learned that
if I do my research, Ifeel a little better about it. And
it's easier to do research in yourarea because again, these people are accessible.
They're right there exactly they're doing.You know, they're meet and greets
at your local like grocery store orwhatever, so you can go there,
you can actually talk to these people, right, And it does make me
(29:37):
feel a little bit better. Actually, I will say this last selection last
year, I went through and everyperson that I had to vote for,
because it comes out like on yourlocal newspaper or on the newspaper's website who
the candidates are in your district.And sometimes I know in LA they do
this. They'll put a little blurbabout what each person stands for. Yeah,
(30:00):
so it makes it a little easierbecause you can be like, Okay,
this is the issue, this iswhere they stand. This is issue,
this is where they stand. Sothen at least that way I can
like go, okay, I likethis person this part. No, no,
yes, yes, yes they Icouldn't find that for where I lived,
but I could look up a fewthings about the different candidates, and
so when I went to vote,it made me feel much better. And
I don't think most people do that. Well, yeah, I don't think
(30:23):
so either. And that's the thingabout politics is that it's a very emotional.
It's an emotionally manipulative like yeah,and so I like, I like
reading the news. My parents workedin news. I was always around news,
but I give myself like sometimes I'lltake the news app off my phone,
(30:44):
like and honestly, like that usedto kind of make me anxious.
But if something's really that important,like you'll know, like you'll it'll get
to you, like no doubt,but I will say that, yes,
like you. When it comes timeto vote, I do a lot of
research. So I'll go to likeoh, LA Times recommends these people,
or LA Weekly or whatever recommends thesepeople, and then I'll go through and
(31:11):
take Like I mean, when Ido research, I'm like, bitch,
okay, like I need to findout because this person might be like,
well, I you know, I'mthis way, and then you find out
that they're actually maybe opposing a propositionbecause out here we have all these wild
propositions. They might be opposing aproposition that you actually don't oppose. Yeah,
so then you have It's that's reallywhere I will just be like,
(31:33):
you know what, I don't wantto talk to anybody about this. I
just want to make my own decision. And also you can, you know
I've mentioned boundaries a little while ago, you can also really choose like,
first of all, do I wantto discuss politics with anyone? Yeah?
Yeah, yeah, that's important likeboundaries, yeah, like you don't have
to. And you know, there'slike there was always this joke about like
(31:56):
like white people be like like ifyou ask somebody like, oh, who
you gonna vote for, like ablack person to be like, well,
you know who I'm voting for.But white people they're like, well that
is very personal, Like you can'task me that, you know, like
which which also it's like, youknow, I had to The funny story
about that is like you know,people talking to you about their political views.
My parents, God bless them,I love them so much, but
(32:19):
they're so like they're even in mymom's carean. My parents are old black
people, Okay, And when itcomes to like politics. They're very what
I would probably say a lot ofolder black people are, which are like
Democrats by default default and not sayinganything's wrong with that, but I don't
(32:39):
believe you should follow anyone blindly.Yeah, And I'm never going to vote
a straight ticket in this day andage, because I do research, so
I know who I would vote for, not based on their political affiliation,
but based on what they believe andhow they've been voting and how they move
right. So and that's important.You got to you gotta look at cause
(33:00):
they can say that like I'm forthis, none for that, but it's
like, how did you vote?Yeah, exactly. And then when So
the twenty sixteen elections when it wasHillary Clinton versus Donald Trump, of course,
my parents, who are Democrats,are like I had to laugh because
it was literally every day this country'sgone down the drain. Oh my god,
(33:22):
Trump gets in office, Oh mygoodness, I don't know what we're
gonna do this like they was actinglike it was life and death, to
the point where I was like,oh, snap, maybe that like is
that really like girl, Okay,I can see what you're saying. And
then I was like, she waslike if he wins, we have to
get up and leave. We're gonnaJamaica move. She was like, well,
can you practice medicine in Jamaica.I was like no, I cannot.
(33:43):
Yes, girl, I was likeno, like, no, I
can't practice medicine in Jamaica. Andwell I understand this sentiment. It was
also to the point where like thatwas the first time I had prayed for
the nation. I mean I waslike, oh my goodness, Lord,
please don't let that man get anoffice, and if he does, like,
just protect us father God like.And now when I look back at
(34:04):
that, I was like, itshould I should never allow politics to have
me thinking like my life is goingto be that terrible? But mind you,
yes can can can elections and who'sin office affect your day to day
life? Yes? Yes? Butshould I be losing sleep? And should
I be like no, really affectedby that in that way? No,
(34:25):
If it's gotten to that point,then it's time for me to It's time
for me to run. If itgets to that point again, I need
to run well for something. Thatwas really like the twenty sixteen election was
when I was like, all right, this is where I take a tremendous
step back for all the shit,because like we had Obama and when he
(34:45):
won, it was like I waslike, I mean we all were like
the highest of highs. Oh mymy president is. I was like,
I can't believe. I was like, I cannot believe I'm seeing this in
my own life time. And thenyou know, we got some party and
hang out parties at his house,like at the White House, and they
was playing poison and everything. Theyhave d nights coming DJ and it was
(35:06):
all fun. And then Trump cameand it was like the complete opposite.
So now I'm sitting there like ourlives were over right. And then Trump
was such a please whatever. Trumpwas just Trump. And then now we
have Joe Biden and the first yearin office, there was that whole thing
down at the border between Mexico andthe US, and there was that photo
(35:29):
of these these the border agents onlike mounted on horseback, like whipping I
hate like Haitian immigrants, And Iwas like, okay, you know what,
you got me fucked up, Likeyou got me fucked up everybody.
It just seems like everyone's the same. That's what I'm the right, That's
(35:49):
why I'm just like for presidential elections. I really feel like this would really
be like this. This is kindof where I blame media because if they
were like, okay, presidential elections, they're gonna televise the debate, they
gonna listen. There were how manyRepublican debates so far too with a bunch
of people that we don't know,and the whole time all they was talking
(36:12):
about was well, you know,they were asking the questions about Trump,
and they were basically deflecting, Yeah, I'm like, first of all,
and none of y'all gonna win.So I don't even know why we hear
we know who's gonna get the nomination? Is this rigoty nigga Trump? Okay?
And then so I kind of feellike, you know, the like
media really I wish they would focusmore on local races because then it's like,
(36:35):
we're gonna get the presidential information,We're gonna get the information about the
president of the quote unquote free worldright as far as local elections, like
I don't know if you heard aboutwhat was happening in LA recently, but
like there were a bunch of likethere were a bunch of council members who
said some really racist shit about likeblack bulks and like in like like indigenous
(37:00):
Mexican people, and it had everybodylike up in arms. And and one
of the one of the councilmen,Kevin de Leone, is running again.
Oh wow, Yeah, he's likeno, I'll be here. So it's
and he may still get elected butfor me to me, but no,
it's wild Even even Biden like hadactually like and it was asked about it,
(37:22):
and like the interview like at duringa press conference, he was like,
they need to step down, likeall of the me to step down
of LA like they are wilding out. So I feel like if media gave
us more information about what was local. Yeah, and and before anybody says
like, well, I mean theydo. They do it on local news,
sure, but like local news doesn'trun twenty four hours a day.
(37:45):
Yeah, like network like network newslike MSNBC, CNN, Fox, those
run twenty four hours a day.And so well, I'm just gonna keep
like going off. But like that'swhy there's like the twenty four hour news
cycle is so problematic. Like then, like you remember when the TV used
to go off? You know that? Yeah? Actually no, no,
I do. I remember the TVwould go off, they would play like
(38:08):
the national anthem. I don't know, I was a little kids, I
don't know. Maybe it did gooff, they would play the national anthem,
the flag would wave and it wouldbe like and then the TV was
off, everybody ghostleep. And sothe twenty four hour news cycle has completely
like up ended. Like even ifyou go even if you look at a
place like India where they didn't usedto have a twenty four hour news cycle.
(38:31):
Girl Indian news, you know,how to be having little boxes with
people, they'd be having like twentyniggas up there like all their little individual
boxes talking over each other like ohmy god, I'm like, you know
what, this is crazy, Butit really does install this sense of like,
you know, impending doom and andit's you know, it's, it's
(38:52):
it's. It can be difficult toset boundaries, especially if like if you're
you're every we're all used to likelooking at our phones and watching and so
for me personally, I just disconnect. I disconnect. Yea, I have
connect. I think that's healthy inall aspects of life, not just for
like dealing with politics, but likejust to be healthy and for our mental
(39:14):
sakes, you should be disconnecting,even if it's nightly like during the day.
They said boundaries. You know,I think you know, setting boundaries
with your family. I had totell my parents, like, mind you,
I don't want to Literally, theywould come and stay with me,
and I kid you not. Istarted counting every day they stay with me.
They mentioned Trump at least one time. This man ain't been in office.
(39:35):
Why are y'all still And this waslike maybe a year ago. He
wasn't in office. They weren't reallytalking about him running just yet. My
parents would mention No. I mentionedhim once a day and I was like,
y'all, y'all, no, stopmention. I had to stop mentioning
his name. Anytime they said that. I was like, no, look
at a cloud, go look atgo outside. There's no reason for us
to mention this because they'd be like, we've been talking about something totally different.
(39:58):
They'd be like, that's just howTrump would think about it. What.
No, don't let that man mighthave Please, I'm tired of this,
Like we're not even talking about politics. Why would you bring that in
here? Yeah? I just hadto. I just so you know,
set boundaries, said boundaries, AndI know that even for a lot of
us, it's very tempting to wantto discuss all the ways which Trump is
(40:23):
terrible in all the ways that he'sbeing treated in ways that other people would
never be treated right right, rightright, and given great benefits of the
doubt and all kinds of stuff.And he has something like forty different charges
and yeah, but you know whatthat man is gonna be. Okay,
(40:44):
that man is seventy seven years old. He is almost dead, Okay,
Like, let's not allow him tolive rent free in our heads. He
might have another tanging years on him. Maybe maybe I'm saying maybe, like
okay, like legit, like Trumpprobably didn't like, so like why am
I spending time like talking about him? Like and Joe and Joe Biden old
(41:06):
than him, Girl, that's whyI just can't either one of them.
So that's what I'm saying for this, even for us, we've talked about
these these Yeah, oppressor is waytoo long. I think. I think
one thing that's important, which Ireally do want to impart on people is
make sure you're well informed, andon top of that, if you don't
like what you see, you alwayshave the ability to run. Exactly if
it's for low, if it's foryour your child's PTA, okay, local
(41:32):
you know, chambers, councils,whatever, you can do that, and
you can be These are regular peopleexactly. So I really think that if
you, if you feel so muchanxiety about it, like you can run.
These people are eighty ninety years old, like they're still doing it,
so you can do this as well. And I feel like, at least
(41:52):
if it's causing you that much angstin your own life, take powers and
matters into your own hand and run. Yeah, I would love it.
I would love it. I meana lot and change. And a lot
of young people have, like Imean younger than me, younger than you
have, like one like really bigpolitical contests recently, which I love,
(42:13):
like I'm really into like some yeah, just younger people, people with different
experiences, like like our political representativeshould be should represent us and not just
white, right. And if youdon't like what you say, then yeah,
if you don't like what you see, if what you see is very
(42:35):
unmoisturized, then go get okay,okay and see and unseasoned politicians and go,
you know, put some accent andsome lotion up in there. So
but you know that being said,set boundaries that could be so many ways.
You could, you know, gofor a walk, you could go
to the park, you could dowhatever. You could just turn just read,
(42:57):
read a book about about anything that'snot election oriented. And you know
that being said, it's just reallyimportant to just set boundaries to selection season.
So I hope that you guys don'tgo crazy because I know that it's
gonna take a lot of boundary setting. Yes, and I think we're gonna
make it through this selection season.Now. I mean, look, we
already made it through four years ofTrump. We did not die exactly,
(43:21):
and then and now what almost fouryears of Biden. Yeah, well then
some people die in both this wayoff the stage or this way. Oh
exactly exactly. So everybody take careof this election season and get you a
massage. Get your massage, right. Well, let's get into our last
secment of the show, pop culturediagnosis right after this. Okay, so
(43:50):
let's get into our pop culture diagnosisfor this week. Let's see. So
in honor of this week's deep dive, may please give our listeners a quick
synopsis of the phenomenon that was ABCScandal and who are we going to diagnose
what girl, I Love me somescandal that was like it was everybody when
it was out, Like literally therewould be people who had watch parties on
(44:12):
Thursday nights. That was me.Hello. It was created by Shonda Rhimes
and the show was a gripping politicaldrama. There's elements of thriller, suspense,
romance, and it involves and revolvesaround the tumultuous life of Olivia Pope.
Olivia Pope, love her Hope,love her Okay, And she's a
crisis management expert. She had herown firm, Olivia Pope and associates And
(44:36):
it's set in Washington, d C. So let's take a deep dive into
the world of politics and manipulation andscandal. How would you diagnose the one
and only Olivia Pope played by KerrieWashington. So yes, pig up to
carry Washington. We used to befriends in high school actually like a lot.
Really. Yeah, she's on NewYork. Yeah, she's in the
Bronx. Yeah, we did likea summer program together. So big up
(45:00):
to you carry that. Being said, Scandal Scan is a show that I've
actually never watched. What I neverbut I didn't have to because everyone like
there were recaps and like so soif I was interested, I would just
read the recap and be like,oh, okay, we need to go
back and watch it. I mean, here's the thing, though, you
need to take a break from wantorder and no girl, no go take
(45:23):
you a little season Christmas or somethingand watch the entire seasons of Scandal.
Okay, here's the thing. AndI know that I'm like alone in this,
but I'm not really like a Shanzarhymes like Perth, like he doesn't
really write shows that I would necessarilywatch, so like why because it doesn't
(45:46):
involve real murders in New York likeSVU pretty much, but also because also
I means, as you know,I like really weird gross things. I
guess for me, Scandal just seemeda little bit too like soap opera ish,
but I understand like the like theyou know, you want the romance
(46:08):
that you want everything. But forme, I was just like, okay,
you're fucking the president, like allright, like this his wife she
yeah? I mean I was likewhatever, but okay, so let's talk
about Olivia Pope. So Olivia Pope, as you said, is a crisis
manager. And what I remember themost about Olivia Pope from the episodes I
(46:30):
didn't watch, but the recaps Iread or saw, was that Olivia Pope
is very in control. She isvery, very in control all the time.
I'm Olivia Pope. I'm gonna tellyou what's wrong with you. This
is what you need to do ifyou want to win, if you want
to I don't know, like bethe cutest, be the basest vision room.
This is what you need to do, and this is how it's gonna
(46:50):
go. Yeah, But I alsoknow that with people who do have issues
with control and I and I certainlyhave had that in my life, we
are also people who have issues beingvery vulnerable. Yeah yeah, yeah,
And we also have issues with anxiety, and we may also have issues with
depression and insomnia because our minds arealways just like going, going, going.
(47:15):
I mean, for as much asOlivia Pope, if she were a
real person, for as many firesas she puts out, I don't think
she probably gets very good sleep atall now. And I feel like her
personal life in the show was likealways in shambles, always always because the
married president, you know, yeah, it was a mess. It's like
that it's she can control her professionallife, but her personal life is just
(47:37):
it falters. So if I diagnoseOlivia Pope, I would say that she
definitely has anxiety disorder. Yeah,and she really needs some therapy because I
mean, honestly, until I learnedthat it's actually kind of a noble thing
to be vulnerable, Like being vulnerableis not it was scary to me,
(47:59):
but it actually makes you like morehuman and more empathetic, so far as
far as empathy on the show,And I could be wrong. I see
her being vulnerable with the President,but no one else. Yeah, maybe
her dad, Like I remember herdad like kind of like read her.
Yeah they haven't. You know,they had a tumultuous relationship as well because
(48:20):
of who he was. But Ifeel like, well, I mean he
also knew her because that's her fought, that's her dad, you know what
I'm saying. So it's kind ofhard to not be vulnerable with people who
know you, right exactly. SoI don't know, I don't know,
I mean, but I would saythat, you know, Olivia really needs
a better work life balance, andshe definitely needs a vacation and she needs
to stop fuck with the president unlessshe's gonna be with him. I mean,
(48:45):
she's cuter than his wife anyway.But also when it comes to politics,
like you can't just be out herebeing president single and shit, because
people would be like, oh no, I wouldn't care. But a lot
of people, you know, theydon't. They don't like that. I
don't like it. They don't likethe impossibility that legedly comes with that.
Please anyway, And you know whatI just learned like a little while ago
that you know, Okay, ifyou had to guess the top state for
(49:07):
divorce, which state would you choose? Maybe like New York or California?
What is it New Mexico? What? Yeah? First of all, how
many people is even there? Five? And all of them is divorced?
Yup? All of them? AllNew Mexico. Apparently New Mexico has a
really bad like their economy is notvery good and so if you are stressed
(49:31):
about money and you don't have ajob, they have also a really high
unemployment rate. So divorces are expensive. You ain't got no money, yuah,
But y'all just gonna have to shockthem and live in a house together.
I'm like, people in New Mexicoapparently, like y'all need a full,
like y'all need a massive, likecouple session, like couple of therapy
session. But I thought that wasinteresting New Mexico. Yeah. I feel
(49:53):
like when when you're poor, youjust well, I guess we're just gonna
have to live with each other becauseyou know what, the porest dated somewhere
in their south right Alabama? Mississippi? Okay, yeah, apparently the average
credit score in Mississippi is six's eightyyeah, so yeah, and not the
majority, but I think Mississippi hasthe highest poverty rate. Whatever I'm getting
(50:17):
off topic, So listen Olivia,Pope, get your life together. Okay,
you could even listen to this episode, yes, or any other episodes.
I want them to come back outwith scandal. I loved it.
What was the other show that ShaunRhyme said about the people supposed to be
a Victorian England? Oh, theBridgeton. Yeah. I was like,
nah, I can't no get outof here you because I just have an
(50:39):
issue with like black people dressing uplike you know what I'm saying. No,
but in that world world, no, no, no, this is
a fantastical world that's not exactly it'sfantasy. Yeah, because I mean black
people is not living like that back, No, but it's it's it's nice
to see what it would have lookedlike. I guess I don't know it
is anyway. You know that wasalways diagnosis. Whatever, it's fake,
(51:00):
whatever's fae. So that's it forpop culture diagnosis. If you are into
Shonda Rhymes, then make sure thatyou watch all of her fantastical shows.
We're gonna have another fun character toanalyze next week on our next episode.
So if you guys have any fictionalcharacters or maybe reality TV show characters,
(51:21):
because we did. We did areality show personality recently that you'd like for
me to diagnose, hit me upon X I did it. I didn't
say Twitter at doctor UNDERSCORINGMANI hit megup on Instagram at Meg scoop and or
excuse me, or you can emailus at hello anymani state of mind dot
com. Yes, and if youlove this show, please remember to rate
(51:44):
and review us in your favorite podcastapp or if you're watching us on the
YouTube like this video, comment,subscribe to our channel. We appreciate the
left and we appreciate you too.Yes. Okay, so thank you everybody
for listening. Bye,
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