Watts of Care: How Light Can Illuminate Our Mental Health

The right hue of light can transform your day, highlight your best selfie angles, or ease you into a restful sleep. Yet, exposure to blue light might strain our eyes, and dim lighting could contribute to depression. So, what is the ideal light for us? Join Dr. Imani and MegScoop as they discuss the intricate effects of light on our mental health and offer insights on how to harness it for your benefit. Plus, the duo provides a pop culture diagnosis of Ronnie from the Starz network original, 'Power Book III'.

Episode Transcript

(00:08):
Hey, everybody, welcome to theState of my podcast. I'm doctor Money
and I'm excused. How are youYou look fantabulous today? Well? Thanks,
I look like Okay. Beyonce Texashold them, I see you.
I know so I I grew upin Texas for a little bit. So
I love I love a cowboy boot. He's a really nice cowboy them they're

(00:28):
very there you go all way upto your knee. They're very cute.
Thank you, very cute, verycute, Thank you, thank you.
These were one of my like oncea year I'll buy like a like an
expensive purchase, and then like afew years ago, well actually this was
pre pandemic, so this was awhile ago. These were one of my
like big purchases. They're very cute. You're gonna wear that to the Beyonce

(00:52):
Renaissance Part two to cross Country Hodown. I mean no, I mean just
because like I'm I mean, Ilove I think Beyonce is hella talented,
like she's super like she's killing itthe and I do like some of her
songs, but they're from like,you know, twenty ago. I'm not

(01:15):
necessarily like a fan of her morecurrent stuff. But I mean listen,
I'm here for her getting on whitepeople's nerves and like like like this is
my stance. I'm not a Beyoncefan and when I say fan, I
mean a fanatic, right, Butand I'm like whatever, Like she's like
she's come out with her hair calinand I'm like, well, girl,

(01:38):
like is that your hair or isthat a wig? It doesn't really like
because I'm just like if you're Imean, I'm just kind of like if
you know, Like it's kind oflike when you see oil of Ola commercials
and it's like, oh, foraging skin, and then the model they
use is like sixteen, and it'slike, well, what are we doing?
So I mean, yes, likepeople that wear wigs also have hair

(02:00):
they need to care for under there. But usually in the commercial or the
advertisement, they'll show like, ohand your hair can look like this,
right, So I guess all I'msaying is that I like, I'm not
a big fan of Beyonce, butI will go hard for anyone, especially
like who is not black, whocomes for her? So wait, so

(02:23):
are you going to purt Well,I know you don't have hair. Would
you purchase her new hair care lineSacred for other people like as a gift.
I don't know, Like I mean, i'd have to see reviews and
stuff. Yeah you know, yeah, you know. I'm always like because
I feel like every celebrity gets likeyou get a fragrance, right, you
get or you get clothing or makea gloss. That's what I'm saying.

(02:44):
You get to look. So she'sdone the fragrances, she's done the clothing,
she's done makeup, she's done it. I think this is like the
natural progression for her, especially becauseher mom, you know, was a
styl hairstylist and obviously like she grewup around like salon culture. So I
think this is really awesome that shedoes have a hair care line. I

(03:05):
will probably get it once just totry it. I I will say that
my hopes are not too high.Yeah, I mean because I just feel
like because at first Beyonce Fraks thatcame out, I was like, nah,
this smells Yeah, it wasn't forme. But like I'll try it
in support and who knows it mightbe like it's one of the more higher
end haircare items, like when youyou know, go to the story.

(03:28):
As far as price, yeah,price point, but I'll try it once,
just to see how I like it, because I'm really big into like
hair products, so I like totry stuff and mix some maps. I'll
see how it does. But ifit doesn't, the bar sello for me.
I'll be honest, I just rightright. I'm hoping I'm wowed by
it, but I don't know ifI will be. Yeah, there's something
I think I saw that she ispart of the Sacred Hair. Caroline is

(03:53):
like this rice like it's like arice soak or something. Oh yeah,
like the rice water. So yeah, rice water, right, And so
I'm like, well, can't youmake that? You can? And I
was wondering about that too, becauserice water, if you you can't leave
it sitting, it will ride.Yeah, So that's how I'm like,
how much rice did get put inhair? Well, how much actually put

(04:15):
it? She said that like theytook the rice water and they dried it
down and it became a powder.And so I don't know if they're selling
it as a powder or if they'reselling it reconstituted in water. I don't
know. Stay here for updates.I'm just kidding. I mean, I
will try it. I'll see howit does on these curls. Okay,
yeah, you know, maybe it'llget my hair flowing like that weig.

(04:36):
Yeah, I love it. Iwant that beautiful way, and I want
my real hair to look like that. Please. And I mean she's a
billionaire, so her wig should beimmaculate, so I mean, you know,
big ups to her and her haircar. Yeah, I'm definitely going
support. I'll try it out.I'll see see how I like it.

(04:58):
I even think I supported Gabrielle Unionhas or had like a it was like
New York and Company or something.Oh yeah, those clothes are cute,
though, they're really cute clothes.Her flowing line that she came out with,
Yeah, I like this point isnice. It is. Yeah,
I like them. Yeah. Sohopefully I'll be surprised of like fenty beauty

(05:19):
like that. I love beauty.I mean I have six of these fancy
please, I will like this ismy only like makeup purchase pretty much all
year. I just I love lookloss. See. I'm hoping hopefully Sacred
will be like that. Yeah,we'll see hopefully. I mean hopefully it's
not crazy expensive. I mean,plus, everybody got to buy these New

(05:41):
Country tickets, right, so youknow, and boots ain't cheap. Okay,
real cowboys, real cowboys are notcheap. So everybody right, Like,
I know, the Beyonce had likea dress code like, you know
for her concepts. So y'all betterstart saving y'all better start saving them money.
Yeah, now, wasn't there somelike I missed it? But there

(06:03):
was some like who the fuck didI marry? Oh? Yeah? On
TikTok? Yeah, oh my god? Okay, So what happened was the
lady's name is Tissa Resa. She'sin Atlanta. She goes on TikTok and
she was chronicling her her marriage,her short lived marriage. She's out of
Atlanta, and she basically had afifty part TikTok series on who the f

(06:29):
Did I Marry? And every singleepisode she was talking about what happened with
her marriage. She met the manI think in like twenty twenty, and
basically they were missed that they gotme. I mean, there was so
much stuff. It was like somany red flags. Like she said that
she had matched with him on twodifferent dating sites but like different names,

(06:49):
right, so she didn't even noticebecause it was two different names. Like
that should have been a red flag, right, like that's kind of weird.
Yeah, and then like of coursethey said that, they said what
else? Oh, she said thatlike they the quarantine hit right when they
had met, and so she waslike, I didn't want to quarantine alone,
so I'll let him move into myhouse. And then she was like

(07:12):
he would oh every morning, hewould like get up, we're early,
and then like talk on the phone, only for her to find out like
a year or two later, thatnobody was on that phone. She thought
he was talking to his brother's likefeeling meself. He every morning, Yes,
that's what's happening. Say hey hey, say hey, okay, Hi,
yeah, okay, what happened right? That is he said he was

(07:36):
a VP at his company. Hewas like the security or something. I
don't know, something real. Hesaid his ex wife's daughter had passed away.
And then he was like we shouldsend them money, which really meant
her sending money. She said shesent like two thousand dollars. Oh did
she know where we sent the moneyto? I don't know who she sent
the money to. She didn't,I don't know it was. He said

(07:56):
he had two sisters. That wasa lie. He said his family was
like wall we even talk to him. Come to find out he like,
I mean, there was so muchin this fifty partty, I mean guess,
let me guess. Okay, okay, pandemic It jumped off. He
was he in jail, he hadbeen. She didn't. Well when she

(08:18):
met him, he wasn't, butlike she had he had when she met
him, he wasn't in jail.He was not, and then he got
and then he got arrested. Andthen was he like only getting at like
was he able to leave like onthe weekend or something. No, no,
no, no, he wasn't inthe well when they were in the
store. Okay, so when whenI met he was like free in a
world ride whatever. She didn't realizewhat kind of like record he had until

(08:41):
later in the have to you haveto you have to like check that out,
like you have to google, likeanybody. Oh yeah, what is
it? What is this called?Because I just saw this girl post this,
she said, she has the It'ssome kind of app that starts with
an I in Telly's or something likethat. Like you couldn't look people up,

(09:01):
she said, anybody I meet,trust you, any man I meet
by the next time I meet himagain, I have already looked at just
since Google, I mean not Googlesince MySpace day. Please like, yes,
your research. So I told myhusband on our the first time we
had a date, I told himI asked him for his last name because

(09:22):
I was gonna google him. Yeah, what's the last time I'm gonna google
you? Right, so I canjust learn more about you? And I
did, and I found a lotof stuff. Yeah, I mean,
and you should, like you can'tjust be letting anybody up in your crib.
I think this also goes to,like, you know, all the
red flags were there, and thenlike, oh, they were trying to
buy a house. He had falsifiedlike bank account documents, and later she

(09:46):
found he just got him off theinternet. But it was like oh,
here's my Chase account, here's likehow much money, and they just couldn't
get a house because they just couldn'tverify all this. Yeah, I bet,
And then like what else? Therewas just so much that this I
honestly hope they turned into like aNetflix series or something, Oh like Tyler

(10:07):
Perry somebody come on, No,no, not well maybe Tyler Perry.
It was just so intense and thestuff was so like I couldn't believe it,
like what are you doing? Andthen he said he got like a
oh he said he played arena football. Girl, did he have a football
body? First of all, well, he was like tall, he wasn't

(10:28):
like he did not have a footballbody. Well, but hold on though,
because some football body off the bodiesblind men look a little different than
like wide receivers. So I feellike she's like, oh, he's tall
and she's She admittedly was like,I don't know anything about football, So
I don't know, girl, youbetter learn something about football. I'm like,
I'm like, they put the ballthrough that big age and that's as

(10:48):
much as I something about a firstintent. I don't know, but like
you better learn something. Like ifif I meet somebody and he's like,
oh, I'm a football player,I'm like, okay, well then I'm
a learn like how to I'm gonnalearn how to play such a good pathological
liar that she didn't even she justwasn't aware, And I feel like part

(11:09):
of that is on her because shedidn't want to be aware. I feel
like that's like something. Yes,this man was a pathological liar. He
lied about literally everything, but alsosis I think you were like a little
too trusting that you're not really justto me, that is, there's an
air of desperation there because you overlookstuff that you're because your instincts are never

(11:31):
wrong. She said, there wasstuff from the very beginning that she was
like, hmm, your instincts arenever wrong. No question is why don't
you listen to them? Well,because well, I can't speak on Tisenisa,
but I can say that my instincts. I mean, we are all
born with instincts, exactly, andit's a matter of whether we trust ourselves

(11:52):
enough or not. And now I'mat the point where I'm like, yeah,
I trust myself a lot, alot. So if I get a
bad vibe, I'm like, Okay, it doesn't mean that I'm gonna like,
you know, like yell at theperson and tell them to get away
from me. But I'm but Iwill definitely like listen, listen and be
like I need to exist stage left, like I need to get out of

(12:13):
here because this person. Yeah,not like maybe that just comes with time
too, I think, yeah,I mean, you know, there's plenty
of times I didn't listen to myinstincts. I should have. But I
think you know, hopefully you knowshe and she's put this out there as
a cautionary tale to tell people likeyou really new do need to do your
due diligence and listen, watch forthose red flags and pay attention to them

(12:35):
and ask questions like if you're like, oh, you play football, okay,
well, like you know, likewhere do you play? What's the
team? What's your coach? Like, like you need to be able to
you need to also feel comfortable confrontingsomeone, and that doesn't mean yelling at
them. That just means like,oh, I have some questions, and

(12:56):
what is what do you call itwhen someone's like a pathological life? Is
there like a term for that?Uh? Yeah, Like that's narcissism,
Yeah, that's that's narcissm. Justlike I mean, being a pathological liar
is a symptom that falls under whatwe would consider most people that we know

(13:18):
of as being narcissistic. Yeah,just just it's just like it's easier to
lie than to actually just be honestand truthful. But then the problem is
they some patholic some pathological liars aregood enough to remember all the lies,
but most people don't. And sothen it's like wait a minute, I
thought you said you played for thePanther. They gave her too different like

(13:41):
social security numbers. She was like, that's I used to be with this
dude a long time ago. Therewas a pathological liar. And I remember,
like this was in my twenties,and I remember we I was staying.
I was staying with him. Hehad an apartment and he got some
mail and his first name is Jason, which is you know, spelled regularly.

(14:03):
I remember like looking at this pieceof mail and I was like,
how come this is spelling your firstname ja S E N. And I
didn't really trip because I'm like,oh, you know, people writing curse,
so maybe the oh looked like ane but then and that could have
been the case, but I wishthat I would have like really pursued that

(14:24):
because when when I tell you likethis, dude, I can't eat.
I don't even know where to beginwith, Like how pathologically did I tell
you the story? Okay, Sothere was this So this dude I used
to say years and years ago,named Jason, Like long story short,
I got like he got busted.I was like, you know, get

(14:45):
the fuck away from me. Whatever. His mom even was like, Emani,
yeah. His mom was like Hismom was like Emani, like just
consider yourself lucky, like you shouldwalk away from this. And I was
like noted, and I bounced.So time passes, and I want to

(15:05):
say, maybe two years have passed. I'm no longer living in New York.
I'm in Philly. I'm like,you know, I'm like an intern,
so like sleep is really important.I get this. I get this
phone call at like three in themorning from like some girl that sounds really
really young, asking about like Jason, and I was like who, cause

(15:26):
I'm like what are you talking about? Fast forward to like maybe two days
later, I get this text orI don't remember. This was like flip
phones, a text or a phonecall from this chick named Jasmine, and
she was like, Yo, youknow I Jason always talks about you,
and so I got your number fromhis phone. I got some questions for
you. This nigga lied about Hesaid that he had gone to She was

(15:50):
calling me because she was like,yeah, he told me that he was
graduating from Columbia Journalism School and so, but he wouldn't give me an invite.
But he told me like, oh, going to be on this day
at this time. So she finallycalled the school like Columbia Journalism School,
Columbia School of Journalism and asked,if you know he, like, is
this a student that's matriculated there?And they said no, And I was

(16:12):
like, girl, he's an narcissist. Consider yourself lucky. Like just I'm
like, I'm sorry that I haveto be the one to tell you,
but I'm like, yeah. Soamongst our friend group, we call him
the other talented mister Ripley, orwe used to. I mean, I
don't, I don't really even likehe's not he's not in the mix no

(16:32):
more, but crazy. I evenran to his brother and his brother was
like, oh my god, I'mso sorry, and are you sure he's
not the same guy that tises.I mean, he had a twin that
she didn't even know about, andhe basically was lying and mimicking the twins'
life. The twin was the VP, so he was pretending like, oh,
well, I'll just do what mybrother does. Oh my god,

(16:53):
that's so funny. So this guyJason, he wasn't he didn't have a
twin. But so this is along time ago, like this is like
maybe twenty years ago. He startssending I do not talk to this person.
I have no idea why he keepswanting to communicate with me. So
now two years or three years passedsince that girl Jasmine called me, and

(17:15):
I'm like, girl, just walkaway. I get this email. And
this is when I had like aHotmail account. I get this email from
like one of like his hotmail account. And he's now purporting from a Hotmail
account, mind you, not evena business account. He's now purporting that
he works in the he works withthe Huge, he works with the Houston
Rockets, and that he works intheir publicity like departments Rockets pr at hotmail.

(17:44):
You could listen, not even andyou could tell so at the end
listen at the end of the emails, he took a little like photo,
like a like a JPEG or PNGand put it on the bottom like aware
the signature was. And I wasjust like, I'm like, Jason,
why are like I am not I'venot spoken to you in years? Why

(18:08):
am I the person that you keepIs that narcissism or is that something else?
No? I mean no, heno, he's he was delusional,
but also like, I mean adelusion is a symptom. You know what
I'm saying. So I'm saying isthat like schizophrenia, no, no,
no, no, like you canbe you can be bipolar and delusional like
Kanye's wild delusional without the psych likesdelusions and psychosis like hearing voices hallucinations.

(18:34):
They do go together, but sometimesthey don't necessarily have to. So you
can be delusional about all kinds ofshit. And if you tell so many
lies that you start to believe them, you're delusional. So yeah, it
just kept going, I mean,and I would send them to my friends.
I would be like, girl,look at this ship, look at

(18:55):
what this nigga doing now. Andthen at one point I was like I
just wrote him. But I waslike, Jason, I want you to
stop this, okay, Like Ilike, you keep sending me these things.
I'm not even responding to you.I know that you pasted and you
copy it and pasted that. Andthen he wrote me something back like you
don't know that, and then thatwas the last and I was like,
get out of here, you don'tknow that, like dang it. Well,

(19:18):
and he was somebody who want likehe wanted to be in sports,
like his dad had played basketball andwhatever. But I was just like,
Nigga, you have got to stopdoing this crazy, Like this is fucking
ridiculous. Now. Anyway, we'regonna get a little bit more into pathologically
pathological liars later in the episode.Just just you guys. Wait, yes,

(19:41):
yes, but I want to bringlight to our topic, our deep
dive discussion topic for today. Solight envelops us at every moment. Light
is awesome. I'm actually we're surroundedby light right now. Most of it's
artificial, but daylight is really important, as in sunlight. So it light
influences are our body and influences ourminds with its pervasive presence, whether through

(20:03):
natural sources or artificial ones, evenwhen we sleep, and it's recognized as
a fundamental necessity. So therefore it'scrucial to comprehend that the effects that light
has on us, whether it's positiveor negative, and that they're significantly determined
by there by its application. Ohyes, that is important. I've learned
that so much about like getting goodrest. Obviously we know that affects your

(20:27):
health, but like light plays animportant role. So once I started learning
that, I got blackout curtains,so I could like sleep better. I
sleep and pitch black now like,yeah, I used to have like a
light on the pitch black. Yeah, my children sleep in the pitch black.
Yeah. Yeah, I don't needno light either. They're not like
hair. But I will say thatmy daughter has like a sound machine and

(20:49):
it has really really low red lightsbecause the color of lights, I've learned,
affect you as well. Like you'renot supposed to have blue or green
lights anywhere around you at night,but because your brain interprets that as like
daytime, right, So and Ithought the opposite. I was like,
oh, it's like blue light islike calm, right. And then once
I learned that, I was like, oh that this baby ain't here sleep

(21:11):
you got blue lights. She's likeso now like there's there's like a little
bit like just a little glowing lightcoming off of her sound machine. So
like you can't see anything really withit. It's just a little bit of
light that's there. Yeah. Butlike now that I know that shining lights
machine, it'll fix a lot.I love a sound machinist. And if

(21:32):
you love Imani's State of Mind podcast, please subscribe, rate, and review
us on your favorite podcast app.And if you're watching us on YouTube,
comment like this video. Make sureyou subscribe to the channel, y'all.
So we have a lot to getinto today as usual, and we're gonna
do that right after this break.Okay, So you guys, it's time

(22:00):
for one of our favorite segments.Ask Doctor Emani anything. We need a
jingle for that? We do?We do. Let me hear you ask
Doctor Emoney anything. Always have toadd that. It's like a foss It's
like fossy hands for me. Oh, I want to I want to do
a more R and B win.Okay, ask doctor REMANI yannithy Okay,

(22:29):
Oh my god, Okay, Ilike that one too. I like that.
Okay, we have like a littleyeah, like, well we got
the R. We need some more. We know we can have a few
of them and then we can rotatethem. I wrote that. I love
that. So we love reading yourletters and we're ready to warn more of
your questions. So, Meg,who's our first letter from today? Okay?
The first one comes from our girl, Gina. What up? Gina?

(22:52):
Dear Doctor Imani and Meg, Ihave been secretly involved with a man
off and on for over ten years. When we first met he wasn't married,
but for the past seven years hehas been, so I decided to
step back and keep a low profile. However, on Valentine's Day, I
decided to reach out and express mylove for him. I wrote him a

(23:15):
four page letter, sent a dirtyvideo to show what he was missing,
and even added a love song tohis phone. What okay? We've been
talking to each other every day sinceValentine's Day. Recently, his wife must
have accidentally discovered what I sent,because she contacted me wanting to talk.
Honestly, I feel I have nothingto say to her. And before anyone

(23:37):
accuses me of being trifling, Ifeel like he was my man first,
as I was in his life longbefore his wife was. Should I tell
my man that his wife reached outto me? Should I call her and
have a talk? And if Ido call her, what should I say
to keep the conversation calm? Whochild? Wait? I'm sorry, Gina,

(23:57):
Gina, Gina, you try.I'm sorry, Gina, you try.
There's a bit of delusion there too, a bit I feel like he's
I feel first. I mean,okay, Gina, all right, let
me take my glasses off. That'snot how it works. Here's the thing,

(24:18):
Gina, I'm sorry that I didwhat you asked us not to do,
but I mean, like, thisis a you're being trife. Like
the fact of the matter is thisis a man who yeah, you met
him first, but then he metthe person that or he married someone else.

(24:40):
Yeah, and there's a reason forthat, whatever, the reason was,
right, and he chose somebody else, right, he chose someone else,
And I understand, Like, oh, everyone makes choices. We all
have choices. He made a choiceto stay with me and can keep fucking
with me. I made a choiceto keep fucking with him even though I
knew he was married. But Imean I can't really, I guess ethically

(25:06):
speaking, like listen, you cando whatever you want to do, but
like it doesn't mean that you're notplaying yourself at the same time, right,
yeah, yeah, And like Ithink you said it yourself. Okay,
So you've been you know, you'veknown him for ten years, right,
he's been married for the last sevenand so. But she did say
she's been talking to him on andoff for ten years, So it means

(25:26):
he's been talking to her. Ohyeah, Like we're not obs, Like
he's not absolved in any of this, and so he like he's super wrong
for like stringing you along these years, making you think that there's something that's
gonna happen between y'all that's more thanjust like an affair. But like,
your logic is flawed because if yousay I knew him first, this is

(25:47):
my man, I don't care ifyou married. I new him first.
Then can your your high school boyfriendsay that about you and be like,
no, you're with me, notwith your side piece husband boyfriend, because
I was your boyfriend in high school. I had you first, Like,
right, does not make sense.So you can't use that logic to say,
well, he's my man, andit's like, sis, he didn't
choose you. He didn't choose you. Yeah, And at the end of

(26:10):
the day, that's all that reallymatters. He had a chance to choose
you and he didn't, especially ifyou if he knew you before he met
her, Right, he didn't pickyou, Since, right, you gotta
move on for someone who wants topick you. And you're talking about you
reached out to him. He didn'teven reached back out to you. He
definitely didn't pick you. He justgoing along and being a little scumbag negro.
But other than that, like yougotta go where somebody picks you.

(26:33):
But also, Gina, like yourday is February fifteenth, that's side piece
said, that's side piece says,that's side piece day, like Valentine's Day
is for it's true, Like whatare you doing? And I also want
to address because you mentioned like delusions, I also want to address the whole
Well, his wife accidentally found ithad her husband right, Like, Okay,

(27:02):
you're in the wrong this rightly.This is one last point I want
to make on this. This isreally not about like, oh monogamy and
you you know, like yes,it is about that he chose her,
But this is also about the factthat, like I keep reading a lot
of stories about polyamory, right,and for some people it works, but

(27:22):
it works because everyone, all partiesagree and they respect each other to inform
this is what we're doing. Theseare the rules. Now, if Gina,
if you're like you know, playboyfriendslash, somebody else's husband wants to
try polyamory, he has to talkto his wife first. You and his
wife need to meet, like itis a process that is not even a

(27:47):
topic for this with this well,That's what I'm saying that if she tried
to have a conversation, well,who knows, maybe she should have them.
What if the wife is like,let's be sister wise, like you
don't know. Wait, do youthink Gina should have a conversation with the
wife? No, girl, becausein this situation, and she is Shirley
tem My, hey I mean talkingabout No, I'm sorry, she's Barbara,
like, hey, hey Barbara,this is Shirley. Like Shirley is

(28:07):
the wife. Gina is Barbara.Like woman to woman, she gonna be
like Gina's not Gina's playboyfriend's wife isgonna be like, stay away from my
man. So do you think thatGina should tell the dude that his wife
feats up? No, like Ginashould. Gina needs to like nix herself

(28:27):
from this entire situation. She needsto if anything, if you talk to
that woman at all, I don'trecommend you talk to her. I feel
you not talk to I feel likeyou need to block that man's number blocked
on social media, not talk toher, get away from him. But
since we know you're not going todo that, you I feel like the
only thing if you do talk tothat woman. The only thing you need

(28:48):
to be saying is I apologize,it would never happen again. I'm so
sorry you do not talk to herthough, but you shouldn't talk, like
I said, if you do talkto her. But here's the other part,
like what are you trying to accomplish? Are you trying to fight with
this dude? But also like youjust want to fight. You just want
to fight something. You want yourhair, you watch your wake snash off
because that's going to happen, andyou deserve every bit of that mess with

(29:10):
somebody's husband exactly. And also,Gina, I don't know you personally obviously,
but I feel like, for yourown sake, like you, you
deserve better. I know. Imean I feel like once, I mean,
like yourself enough that you don't youdon't become somebody's second best, right,
don't be a consolation. Yeah,I love yourself, and I'm saying
I'm not the consolation. I amthe prize. Booe, you didn't pick

(29:33):
me. Peace, you know what? Run it back? Okay, So
me and Peter are engaged. Wegotta engaged like three weeks ago, yay,
right, yeah, So ever sincethen, I've been like like I've
been getting on his nerves by singingthat Jagged Edge song like maybe you got
the Call to dress? That thepart where he says we ain't getting no

(29:55):
younger girl, we might as welldo that. I hate that, and
it's and speaking of consolation, I'mlike, Nigga, I'm not your consolation.
So we're getting older and we mightas well do this. No,
that ain't how this works, Gina. Don't be the chick in the Jagged
Edge song. Okay, Like,do you do like go, first of
all, stop fucking with him,be a better person. Yes, do

(30:18):
you a therapy, Go to therapyand don't fuck with nobody else who's married.
Yeah. Yeah, and if youdo, do not send the spouse
photos and all kinds of shit.And also, like I said, more
of the story is your Day's Februaryfifteenth, jo d is not Valentine's and
you know that. Okay, well, all right, we're gonna leave it

(30:41):
right there. Don't leave it rightthere. Our next letter comes from Jazmine.
Hello Jazzmine, and here's what shehas to say. Deer doctor Ramani
and Meg, I just moved tothe Big Apple to follow my dreams of
working in hair and makeup for TV. Work has been doing really well,
and leaving my small town to takea chance on myself was the best decision.

(31:03):
However, transitioning from a place whereeveryone knew me to just being another
face in the crowd in New Yorkhas made making friends challenging. I'm naturally
social and miss hanging out at thelocal bar with my friends. Now my
routine is just working home, andI find myself overly excited to talk to
people at work, maybe even toomuch. My parents advised keeping my personal

(31:25):
and professional lives separate, so I'vehesitated to accept hang out invitations from coworkers.
I've even tried making friends in mybuilding's mailroom, but it feels like
I'm the only one living here.I'm looking for advice on how to make
new friends in this big city whileadhering to my parents' advice about not mingling
with coworkers. Jasmine, So Idon't, I mean, I'm not a

(31:52):
coworker mingler, but I think inthis case it wouldn't hurt. Yeah,
especially because then you just out,you know, like you out, and
I mean, look, you workin hair and makeup, right, people
who are here and makeup are buyand large independent contractors, so it's not
like you're going to be at onecompany all the time. And your industry,

(32:14):
it may actually benefit you to goout and mingle with your coworkers,
because yes, you could also youknow, you could definitely like find out
about a project that maybe you'd beperfect for. But also you just out
and you're in the entertainment industry,and a lot of people in the entertainment
industry are more so like social butterflies. Yeah, yeah, and so yeah,

(32:35):
I would say, like go outand be and mingle, like,
go hang out with your coworkers,like it's not a big deal. And
I think coming from I to themfrom a small place, and I can
understand when she says, like herparents, like that's like really small town
advice, right, you don't becausemost of the times our parents come from
a job where they've been at thesame job forever, you know, very

(32:57):
like you go home and you workyour eight hours, go home, Like
the lives are very separate. Butliving in New York and working as an
independent contractor in the entertainment industry,it's not the same. It's the same.
It's not the same. So youdo have to go network essentially with
these people, because your next jobis dependent on who you know, and
if you don't know any of you'regonna get another job. And on top

(33:21):
of that, people hire their fronts, they hire people they like. How
are people going to know they likeyou if they don't see you in a
regular setting and see how like cool? And because everybody wants to work with
people they have fun with, rightexactly. So I don't want to be
in this makeup trailer with you twelvehours a day doing makeup. I don't
like you. Like you get outhere so people can know who you are.
Now, be very cautious how youbecause that's where you cross the line.

(33:43):
It's like, oh, we're goingout for drinks and now you just
slocky drunk girl. Nobody wants tobe around you, know, like you
need to know your limit and youneed to know like, I'm not here
to get drunk. I'm not hereto like play myself exactly, lose my
faculties. You could do that withyour homegirls that you grew up with,
that's your besties, right right.This is still work. So it's like
I'm working. I want people toknow who I am. I want to
meet them. I want to seewhat they're working on. I want to

(34:04):
meet new people in this industry,and then go out and keep keep your
trigging to a minimal, right,like your drugs all that. Keep it
yeah, keep up together, right, keep it together, you know,
be professional, but you can stillgo out and have fun. And I
think on top of that, likein big cities, you can, like
there's websites like meetup dot com wherepeople have like minded interests. Yeah,

(34:25):
so what are you interested in?I'm sure there's more than just makeup,
right, Yeah, Like we allare multifaceted. So do you like doing
yoga? Maybe go meet some fellowyogis. Do you like you know,
like I don't know, spearfishing,Maybe there's a group for that. I
don't know, you know what Iever do? When I lived in New
York, And I mean, granted, I'm me and Jasmine, you are

(34:47):
you, but it sounds like youdon't, like you do not have a
problem like just kind of being outand about on your own. I don't
either. So I used to justlike some days I would just be sitting
in my apartment just board and Iwould be like, I'm gonna go out
and I would just go out andI would just leave. And in New
York, like New York is sucha place that you just fall into stuff.

(35:08):
So I would be like, I'mgonna go down to the village and
I would just like walk around andgo in stores and like you see little
flyers for things. And then itgets later and then I'm like, I'm
gonna go eat. And then youmay hear somebody talking about something You're like,
oh, like I over I'm sorry, you know, I want to
be nosey. I overheard you saidthis. Sometimes I would just be walking

(35:28):
down the street and literally would likesee like a lounge or a party and
just be like, dude, oopand now I'm at a party. Yeah,
so just do that. I mean, you never know what little adventure
life has for you. Yeah.Some of your best friends in New York
that way. So yeah, Iused to do that all the time.
Like I leave the house at elevenam and I'm not home until like two
am. Yeah. It was sofun. It it was so fun.

(35:51):
But just make sure you wear yourcomfortable shoes and bring some mace, girl,
Yeah, bring some well or orwhat we used to. Well,
people still do this, Like youtake your When I would walk home at
night, I would take my keyand I would keep it in like the
I would put it so it wouldbe like sticking out away from my palm,
so if anybody tried to come upto me, I could slash on.

(36:12):
He was like ready to He waslike, oh no, I was,
yeah, I was ready. Likeand also because yeah, in New
York, you may not know this. When you're walking down the street at
night, like late at night,walk in the middle of the street where
the street lights are, because ifyou're on the sidewalk, like somebody could
potentially like pull you in, andit's dark. So if you walk in
the in the middle of the street, then everybody, you know, if

(36:34):
you if something happens, people cansee you. I had to teach Peter
that when we went to New York, because he was like, why are
you walking in the street. I'mlike, because I don't want to get
grabbed up by somebody. But you'rewith your man and I don't care he
might get grabbed up too. Andnow I'm like, oh my god,
what happened to you? I mean, well, thank you. I was
like, can you please, I'mlike, I need you to walk in

(36:55):
the street and he was like,why it's not safe. I'm like,
oh my God, like, don'teven get me started on Peter's fear of
jaywalking. I was like, canyou please cross the street, like no
one is coming. He's like,no, it's not safe. It's like
Jesu. I was like, canyou please hurry up? Can you please

(37:16):
walk faster? I felt, Ifelt terrible, But anyway, thanks Gina,
Thanks, thank you Gina and Jasminefor sending those letters in I remember.
If you have a problem, aquestion, or just need a safe
space to verbally puns the air,please hit us up by sending an email

(37:37):
to hello at imani stateofmind dot com. All right, let's take a short
break and get into our deep divesegment. Welcome back, everybody. Now,
what's ad Ariana Grande say? Onthat star where Ricky the light is
coming to get back everything in thatdarkness? Dole And so doctor Monnie,

(38:00):
I know I'm no doctor, butI swear natural light helps improve my mood
and it randomly makes me wonder aboutthe power of light and the effects it
can have on our overall mental health. So enlighten us about the impacts of
lighting, because I need to knowthe good, the bad, and the
dark about the light. Okay,so yeah, let's discuss light. You

(38:24):
know, I think it's something thata lot of us kind of consider to
be like, oh well, it'slike, yeah, it's light, Like
we take it for granted, like, oh, is it dark in here,
let me turn on the light,yea, oh in the daytime the
sun is out whatever. But becausewe are creatures that evolved on this planet
with the sun and sunlight, Likethere are chemicals that are made in like

(38:46):
vitamin D that are made in ourbodies in response to the sunlight and our
circadian rhythms like what when, likethat determine when we're asleep and when we're
awake are based upon the sun.And so the more that we stay inside,
the more detrimental it can be toour physical health and also our mental

(39:07):
health. So, for example,waking up to sun waking up to sunlight
is really important. It's actually Iread this morning that a lot of doctors
encur like as soon as you wakeup in the morning, like you should
like get not to a light source, you should get to like sunshine if
you can. I know, that'sreally difficult. We're like in the middle,

(39:30):
like we're dealing with winter right nowand there. This is also really
important regarding people that have a seasonaleffective disorder or SAD. If you live
in a in a climate where thesun it tends to be really shorter in
the winter months, a doctor mayprescribe you a an artificial light, like

(39:52):
a like a oh oh wait,you can prescribe a light. You can
prescribe it or you can like youcan tell your patient like oh, like
they have they're all over Amazon.Oh wow, I don't know. Yeah
that makes sense though, like yeah, if you live in the Arctic Circle
or somewhere where there's like no light, yeah, exacts sense exactly. And
so what what doctors will say isand it even will come in the past,

(40:13):
like in the instructions when you buythe lights on Amazon, like oh,
you should sit in front of thislight for fifteen minutes a day,
and people do report that it reallylike it really does help. Yeah,
and even like sitting here like Iknow that, like you guys that are
watching can't tell, but there arefluorescent lights in here and the sun is

(40:35):
out, like the sun is completelyout. I went and took my dog
for a walk this morning. Specificallybecause I was like, I do really
kind of need some more sunshine,but fluorescent lights are draining. So I
even kind of have like a smalllittle headache in the back of my eye,
Like it's not a big deal,but I know that it's from the
fluorescent the fluorescent lights, because fessfloresca, fluorescent lights can be really draining

(40:58):
to just like your senses and youreyes and your brain. Yeah, and
so especially like if you go intoa building where the fluorescent lights are older
and they may like flicker, likeyou can you could like these fluorescent lights
are different than like old school yeah, yeah, the ones in your old
high school. Yeah, like thelong like bulb lights. Because you're just

(41:21):
like you'll just be like I'm sotired, because it really does it.
It's not you. It's not youthinking that your mind is playing tricks on
you. It really is like I'mdrained, yeah, and it's the fluorescent
lights. It's important because you know, like I think just that even the
physical response to like like I know, historically women, especially Black women,

(41:44):
have a low like vitamin D level, and so it's really important for us
to get in the sunshine or takeyour vitamin D because I like, I
take an additional vitamin D supplement everyday, do you? Yeah? And
like, because my vitamin D wasso low, I went to the doctor,
had like test run. It wasso low. My doctor was like,

(42:05):
oh, you need to take thisprescription today, right. I was
like, it was like fifty thousandIU per week, Yeah, which is
crazy because one pill typically is likewhat a thousand or two thousand people take
a day. And she was like, no, you need fifty thousand a
week. That's how like low.So I had to do that for like
four months or something crazy just toget my level back up. And then

(42:27):
now I do. I do aboutlike two thousand a day, two thousand
to like five thousand a day,depending on like if I know I'm in
sunshine if I'm not. And whenI got my labs like last year,
it was like the doctor was like, oh, your vitamin d's good.
And I was looking and it stillwasn't like in the middle right, like
of like the healthy range, butit was the in the healthy range.

(42:49):
But I was just like, Wow, I still take a lot of vitamin
D and it doesn't put me whereI need to be, which just goes
to show you you need a lotof vitamin Do you need to be in
the sunshine? You? Okay,Now it's interesting you say that because I'm
looking this up online right now,years ago, and I want to say
again, it was before the pandemic, so like, I don't I don't

(43:10):
remember what year it was, butI'm googling it right now. There was
a study that came out faulty level. There was a study that came out
by a black scienceist, and hehad developed a more accurate lab assay or

(43:31):
a lab test because when he wentto test because African Americans typically, like
you said, like typically in literature, it's like our levels are always low.
But it's like, why are levelslow if we're the ones with more
melanociety. It's like that doesn't reallymake sense. So this black science has
created this lab assay and found thatactually it's not that we're low, we're

(43:55):
deficient in vitamin D. It's justthat when they test our vitamin D,
they're not testing for the right formof vitamin D. And so now what
was interesting was at the end ofthe article they asked him like, well,
are you still going to take yourvitamin D somethman, He was like
well, yeah, I'm still gonnatake it. So I say all that

(44:15):
to say that I'm just throwing thatout there. But also I can definitely,
we all can definitely agree that sincethe pandemic, we've been in the
house more. Yeah. Yeah,yeah, I think it's in the generation.
The kids. Oh yeah, theydon't go out outside, and like,
yeah, they don't go out,they don't like it's it ain't like

(44:36):
the eighties and nineties. Well Iwould say more so like eighties. We
were always outside when we were kids. But but yeah, but vitamin D
it's very important. And even youmay think like, oh, well maybe
I'm just like kind of down todaybecause it's winter time. It may be
your vitamin D level it's checked it. Yeah, blood tests, Yeah,
go see your doctor. If youhave a black doctor, you may want

(44:59):
to mention the whole thing about,you know, whether our vitamin D levels
truly are low, but they'll probablyjust have you do the regular blood test.
Anyway, I haven't gotten my vitaminD levels checked probably like ever,
but that's because you ever wait,have you had labs before that showed it
or you just didn't know, BecauseI mean, I will readily admit i'm

(45:19):
a doctor, and I don't reallylike people touching me. Like I'm like,
hi, hello, how are youdoing. I gotta do this,
give me the need of myself.I will draw my own blood. Shit.
I'm like like Peter's like, maybeyou should go to the doctor.
I'm like, no, I'm fine. I will go there and tell you
what I need. You can beingan old black lady. Everybody, my
grandma, everybody like I got it. No, they'll be like heymie,

(45:42):
so you can put on this gownand then they'll come back and I'll be
right there like with my clothes on, like I'm not putting shin on it,
but let me tell you what's goinghilarious. Yeah, I'm like,
I'm like the worst. I don'twant them touching me. Okay, like
every in the world like them touchingme. It's fine. I will tell
you what is wrong that is.That's not even the doctor side of you,

(46:05):
that is a black woman. No, it is the doctor's side.
I'm like, I don't want youall touching me with things. I'm like,
okay, thank you, goodbye.Yes, my vitals are fine.
Thanks no, thank you. Sodon't be like me, please please don't
be like me, but like Iam on top of my health and stuff.
You are you're very healthy. Wellthanks, well that we know.

(46:29):
He was like, go get acheck up. I was like, you
mean in person. I was like, I'm not doing that. Like I
know you're a doctor. You're right. If you're not going to do your
labs yourself, you better go getchecked. I'm fine. I'ming you because
I don't. I have it.I'm fine. Listen, I ate salad
yesterday. I'm not fine. No, it goes beyond that. Everybody,

(46:55):
okay, goes to the doctor exceptme. I can't believe. I know.
I just don't like it. Noone likes it. Who likes going
to the dirty hospital with the doctor? I will okay, I'm doing dirt
hospital. I'm just saying poking,and nobody likes it. Nobody or you

(47:17):
know what. There are medical okay, So let me back up. Since
you are a person who does notlike to go and get this stuff done,
there are different companies nowadays that willcome to you. I do haven't.
I don't even want them coming here. They will say, no,
I don't need you here, willdo a telehealth appointment. I will tell
you what the problem is. Andthen you can prescribe me what I need

(47:40):
based upon our collaboration. Do that. If they don't have your blood,
they're fine. Let them come toyour house and take your blood so you
don't have to leave. There's afew different there's I know what they do.
I don't want them. It's easy. They're in and out. That
I had. That's when my friendstold me about it. I love it.
They literally they put the little shoebooties on. They come in there,

(48:02):
they come to my front room inmy house. They don't go no
further than that. We sit atthe table that's in my front room.
They drop blood. They're gone inlike ten minutes, and then they get
their four or five vials of bloodand then they said up and I was
like, this is amazing. Andthen what happened then? And then like
then, of course you know thatit goes through like they get them,
they go to quests, to thelabs, and then you get the results

(48:24):
and then your doctor looks at thatat your telehealth appointment, right, and
then we'll go through everything with you. Every time I get my blood tag
and it's fine, So it's fine, you know, I don't I don't
need that it's fine. Fun doctorbody, go get your blood tested.
Okay, we got to make sureyou got an vitamin D in there.
Nope, not doing it. No, I'm just kidding. I'll do it

(48:45):
because because Peter is going to belike you need you. I mean,
it doesn't sound like that. He'sgonna be like you need to go get
physical and do it. Do itnow that you're look engaged. Now I'm
engaged. Got to take your hobby. You gotta be in good health.
Honey. Let me tell you realquick. This is side No. When

(49:05):
I got there. Okay, sowhen I when me and Peter got engaged,
I got this ring, Like,yes, I definitely like we together,
like we're on the same team.Now I feel like, oh my
god, I'm like we're a teamlike right, like the like the ring.
I'm like, yo, like thislike it like it hit different and

(49:27):
make it official official, get it'sgonna hit even more. Which is crazy
because I didn't think I had neverbeen married to when I got married.
I didn't in my head. Iwas already all in and I was like,
it's not gonna make a difference.Like it makes a difference, it
makes it happen. But it's likein it now life Like we're in this.
We in it right, like inorder to get out, we gotta

(49:49):
do a lot of stuff to getout, like paperwork, like we win.
It's us. We went somewhere.Oh we went out for uh,
well, we didn't go out forValentine's Day last week. We went on
like IP Day, which was alot calmer, but we still have fun.
And I like we went there andI remember like like I would just
hype, I guess. And sothe person that was helping us, the

(50:10):
host, was like, oh,yeah, would you guys like sit over
here. I was like, hesaid that we would like to sit here.
So we're together now, so Iknow, I've just been real extra.
We're together now, so a unit. So anyway, but speaking about

(50:31):
thinking of speaking of bright things,bright shiny things like my ring, but
light is is also especially really importantbecause like you were saying, like kids,
my son is in his room onthe computer. I'd be like,
I'm like, oh, you're stillon the phone because I'm old. But
I'm like he'd be on the computertalking to his friends like all the time,

(50:52):
and I'm like, boy, Iknow your vitamin D is low and
I'm like, ang, you lightskin, and when he doesn't get enough
sun, he gets so pale.And I'm like, no, you ever
like make him go sit in thesun, like talk to your friends in
the sun. Yeah too, becauselet me when when I pushed out of
my body, like I obviously knowthat's dad is is, he's yellow,

(51:14):
he's Puerto Ricans came out and Iwas like, oh I had a white
baby. I was like you lightlight. I'm like, you got my
face like I know you came fromme because because I just pushed you out.
But I was like, damn,you light as hell. And I'm
looking like in his testicles, inhis ears and see if like it's gonna
get darker, and I was like, no, he just gonna be this
color. Luckily we live in Laso their sun. But I'm just like,

(51:37):
boy, you're getting pale and youare scaring me, Like I don't
normally let whites in this house,so I'm gonna need for you to go
sit outside, all right, likeyou may like I see him out the
corner of my eye, I'd belike I'll be like, oh, okay,
that's just that's my child. Okay, my bad, sorry, but
yeah, I will be like,you need to go sit outside, like

(51:59):
go outside. This weird, likeit's just but it's also really important because
like you were talking about your daughter, like as far as like red light
and blue light, like me andPeter will sleep, We'll fall asleep with
the TV on, and it willusually be Onlaw and Order SVU because that's
our favorite show on the whole world. But there will be days where like

(52:19):
he'll be like, yo, likejust please turn the TV off, and
we like when the TV is off, listen I be. I mean,
I'm on like I mean just thedeepest slumber ever and hi roll my dog
be like snoring in shade. Butlike it really definitely makes a difference,
and you can even like I evenuse like like an eyemass like that's my

(52:43):
favorite shit. I just like thelittle like light pressure around my eyes to
help me go to sleep. Butbut that being said, it's very very
important. Light is going to severelypacked your mental health, whether it's for
positive or negative, whether it's forlack or for you know, you getting

(53:05):
plenty. And also people need tostop look at their screens before they go
to bed. I need to stoplooking at my screen as soon as I
wake up. That's what I reallyneed to do. Yes, yeah,
but it's worse if you do itright before you go to sleep, because
like the blue I guess, thebluish tint that screens get give off again
sends the signals to your brain towake up, so you're true is not

(53:27):
as good. Yeah, you knowwhat I mean. And like I say
that, this is I'm preaching tomyself too, because there's plenty of times
I'll be like, I'm gonna justplay this game real quick. Like I've
been like this. I don't wantto give them play because you know,
I ain't give me nothing, butI just s been playing a game lately,
like and I have. I'll belike, I'll play it when I
go to sleep. But the problemis I'm doing it right before I like

(53:47):
close my eyes and then you closeyour eyes and then you're like, I'm
not really asleep anymore. Yeah,it's like, oh, well that makes
sense, Like, definitely have arule. Don't go to sleep or don't
try to go to sleep and you'relooking at a screen at least give it
like an hour. Yeah, Imean I will say that I'm blessed.
I mean I am blessed. Sorry, but I'm but I'm blessed. Like

(54:08):
I can fall asleep anywhere that awesome? Are you not elyptic? Am I
what narcalyptic? No? Okay,no, I just love to go to
sleep. Oh okay, okay.I was like, no, this is
not a condition like it like ifI close my eyes for long enough right
now, you will hear me startlike dozing off, like I will,
I will sleep. So like Idon't have a problem with it, but

(54:29):
I know that a lot of peopledo. And what one thing that I
definitely have discussed with my patience isthe importance of sleep hygiene. And all
of the things that we're discussing arepretty much part of sleep hygiene. Because
when you said that, I waslike, oh oh like dirty D eighteen
Yeah, okay, sleep you gotyou got your street clothes in the bed,

(54:52):
right, don't get in yo bedwith street clothes. But a lot
of this like blackout curtains, LikeI definitely shut my curtains. They're not
blackout, but I shut my curtainsbefore I go to sleep because it's it's
I mean, it makes a difference. And then like you're supposed to what
is it like the room is supposedto be slightly cooler, sleep better when
your body sleeps better when it's alittle bit cooler in the room. And

(55:14):
then oh, you're supposed to sleepnaked. That's okay, Okay, you
actually are supposed to sleep nay,which is weird, but like you tend
to sleep better when you're naked.Yeah, that makes sense, okay,
because when when people have sleep studiesto rule out whether they have like sleep
apnea or something similar, they'll theroom that they like monitor you in is

(55:37):
mad cold. Yeah, like itis dumb cold, and I'm just like,
damn, like, who could sleepin here? But you know that's
it's supposed to. You have blanket, it's nice and cozy, but like
you're supposed to sleep in a coolroom. Remember those weighted blankets. Oh
yeah, bro, that shit worked. I'll be too hot under them.
That shit worked, Like I justput I'm just like, oh it feels

(56:00):
yeah, it feels really good.But but all of this is really important.
So sleep, like sleep hygiene isimportant. And then when you get
up in the morning, like youneed to if if you live in the
Arctic Circle or someplace like at ahigher h what is that latitude. I
understand if you need to get likea light that helps you with you know,

(56:21):
your mood and seasonal effect disorder.But if you like, but when
the sun comes out, go outside. Yeah yeah, and it's oh that's
a good reminder because I don't beopening my blinds in my house. Oh
I do. I feel like Ishould just changes the mood, Like even
here, we open the blinds today, changes the mood. It's us,
it's us. This is again offtopic, slightly off topic, but I've
read this article recently about how thereis a like neighborhood slash social like socioeconomic

(56:50):
disparity between people who have homes andthey leave their curtains open or they don't
even have curtains, white people versusis people who close their curtains. What,
yeah, are poor? Yeah?No, serious kind of makes sense.
It's so funny. Yeah, Idon't want people taking my ship,

(57:12):
right, I don't care they'd belike, look at here, look at
all this stuff. I never understoodthat. I'm like, why would you
like, I can see all ofyour appliances. What are you doing?
Which is funny because I always tookthat to be a black and white thing.
Oh, but it is historically,but you think about it, like

(57:34):
in this country, who who's hadmost of the money, right, right?
So like I last because I livein an all white neighborhood of like
there's like a thousand homes, butnobody close their blinds. But here's the
thing, and that's class too,right because most most people in this country
on welfare, as they have alwaysbeen, are white. Because white,
there's more white people in the country. So if you go into a poor

(57:55):
white neighborhood, they they will closetheir curtains. So it's a class.
It's supposed to race, Yeah,it's I mean, it can be race
and class. But yeah, thatmakes so much sense. So I'm the
poor person live in the neighborhood dayOh no, I'm like, yo,
I'm like I just can't. Likethat's like washing your hands after you go
pee or yeah, I've been burglarizedbefore, so that's probably the same.

(58:20):
It plays into like why we closingeast blind Yeah, you don't even know
what I and all of my neighborsliterally have full lights on. It be
pitched by outside. You can seeeverything in the house, you can see
what they're watching, you can seethem talking, but they're eating and I'll
just be driving past paranoid about likedoesn't see enough scary movies. They're like
whatever, but I but in thatarticle they had people saying like, oh,

(58:45):
well, I want to see what'sgoing on outside. I'm like,
bitch, you better get you aring. Get it's dark right, like,
and your lights are on, youcan't see anything else. Every scary
movie. What they be doing exactlylooking at the movies, looking in your
mirror, I mean in your windowas you're washing your dishes, right,
blinds And Michael Myer's like, ohboom, I'm gonna get her because she's

(59:06):
unsuspecting. That's why he didn't getNo black people. Hell yeah, because
they blind was closed. It's true. It's true. Now we know it's
true. No, Now we doknow. And that's why when there is
a black person, they'd be killingus off first, because we're gonna be
like, close your fucking blind Whenyou close your blinds, you wouldn't be
dead, like I am. Now, shit, what's wrong with y'all?

(59:29):
Now we do now we know,so like light it's important for your health.
But also, yeah, it wasjust an interesting story because when I
saw the comments, it was alot of white people like, well,
why, like, well, it'snot a racial thing. I'm like,
well, bitch, it can be. But you ain't ever been burning the
rise. Apparently you've lived a niceneighborridgion of whole life. But I mean,

(59:52):
yeah, like, look, Iwashed the bottom of my pots.
Okay, I wash my I washmy entire body, including my legs.
Like y'all got yeah, y'all aretripping. The other thing that's interesting is
that if you like, let's sayyou go to a restaurant, right,
like, the lights are not usuallygoing to be super bright because that actually
decreases your appetite. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it actually decreases your appetite.

(01:00:17):
But if you go into like arestaurant and like the lights are kind
of dim and like they might evenbe like a certain shade, like more
of like a warming shade, likethat's actually inviting or and it actually increases
your appetite. So if you don'twant to eat, you want to be
snatched for the summer, go eat? Why that is no, No,

(01:00:40):
that is not what's happening. Thatis not what's happening. Oh my gosh.
All I had to do was turnthe lights up and honestly mean you
are so you're so soumid so soyeah, so if you want to be
skinny, turn on all those lights. And if you don't want to be
burnt gold, don't buy like someof these people in this article legit.

(01:01:04):
They were like, yeah, Idid not, Like I don't have shades,
like I never I don't want them. I never ordered them. That
sounds like my neighbor when I firstmoved into the neighborhood. Yeah, and
there was like a block party,just having your block party for like end
of school year, and the neighboracross the street from me, mind you,
I've always been a little skeptical,like I'm literally in like an all

(01:01:25):
white neighborhood. So like I'm alwayslooking at them like right, like what's
up. So she was like,oh, I'm your neighbor across the street.
Give me your phone number, nochange numbers. But I gave her
my yeah, my Google name exactly. And then we moved in. And
I'm the type of person I liketo keep the lights on outside the house,
whether yeah, you know, juston sites or like like the light

(01:01:47):
that might shine in your in yourdriveway, that's bright. She texts me,
So glad you guys finally moved into the neighborhood. I hope it's
all going. Well. Hey,by the way, could you turn off
that porch light because it's shining directlyinto our bedroom. And I was like,
bitch, close up blinds. Andthat's and that's what I thought,

(01:02:07):
right, So I look, I'mlike, why would she just not close
her blinds? Like what audacity doyou have to tell me? They yes
to turn mine at night because it'sin your wind and mind you we not
like, also, bitch, closeyour eyes, close your eyes and going
just going out in our bedroom andwe can't. And I'm looking across and

(01:02:28):
I was like, oh, that'swhy, because they got these windows that
have like these little small windows abovethe window, and they didn't decide to
put nothing over there. I wasI want to be I wanted to curse
her, ound be like that's yourfault. You need to get some blind
you need to close your eyelids andget out of our business. I was
like, I was so angry,but we had just moved in and I
told my husband and he was like, no, keep them on, and

(01:02:49):
I was like, let's just turnthem off for now. But like we'll
we'll maybe we'll do like the motionone instead of just having all all night
because we don't really need it onall night, you know, you have
care or as they can see throughthe dark. So I was just like,
well, we'll just get like themotion detection, so that way of
something, Cob the mike is on. I'll be a good neighbor and try
to like you know, I'll tryto work with you here. But that's

(01:03:12):
as far as I go. Letme tell you something. This is why
when he graduated from high school nextyear, we moved into a black neighborhood.
I like, I like, Iam dumb. Yes, having white
neighbors is like is there a handbooksomething, because it's like can I'm sorry,
can I turn off my light?Because you lack the ability to close

(01:03:36):
your eyelids? Explain? And thenlike the then there was like there was
a party that was like a fewhouses down another time, and the ladies
like he's like a college age kids, definitely a bro and was like had
said something like oh yeah, becauseI look when I saw it looking you
windows, I saw that like thekind of cargo has been had, and
I was like, excuse you inour garage because our garage don't have like

(01:04:00):
the window, I mean the shades. So I was like, hold on
because our driveway is like up.So you done came up this. You
know they be nosy girl. Iwas like, okay, so we're gonna
have to put a camera right there. Yeah he dropped like excuse you,
who are you bread? Get outof here like that? Yeah? Lets

(01:04:23):
anyway anyway, so get some blinds, get some blinds. And speaking of
blinds, yes, I'm not blindor as I put on my glasses.
So that's all the time we havefor today's deep dive. I hope you
guys enjoyed it. We definitely veeredoff topic, but you know whatever,
that's that's just how it goes.Remember that the relationship between light and mental
health is multifaceted and ever evolving.So whether it's embracing the warmth of sunlight,

(01:04:47):
setting boundaries with our screens, orreimagining our environments with mindful lighting design,
there are endless possibilities for illuminating ourpath to mental well being. Well,
yes, let's get into uh thispop culture diagnosis right after the break,
because we got somebody we need totalk about. Y'all come right back.
So Meg, let's get into ourpop culture diagnosis for this week.

(01:05:09):
Okay, so please give our listenersa quick synopsis of the show, Raising
Kanaan and who will be diagnosing today? I love me some Raising Rain and
Kanan Rain Kanan. Okay. So, the spinoff to the Star's original series
Power has proven more than a littlepopular as fans of the franchise have delved
into the origin story of Canaan Stark'scharacter that we're already familiar with as one

(01:05:32):
of Ghosts childhood friends and partners.Now with the show's executive producer Fitth Sin
being a member of Power, herewe meet Kanaan as a teenager and we
get an intimate introduction into the worldof crime through the eyes of his bomb
Rock. Now, in the pastseason, we were introduced to a new
character named Ronnie who was crazy Yeahokay. He's the brother of the drug

(01:05:57):
dealer, Unique and eventually a righthand to Kanan. Now this has been
as wild okay. Just how hewalks and talks to people is enough for
you to be like scared and intimidated. His stairs, his silence, all
of that is like so creepy andlet's not forget, he doesn't think twice
about killing anybody, okay, becausewe see what he did to unique.
So today I want you to diagnoseRonnie doctor Emonni. He's fresh out of

(01:06:18):
prison and is the type of manthat everyone is naturally afraid of. Now
viewers are calling him the hood MichaelMyers. So it's your diagnosis and what
notes are you writing down during hissession? Okay, I'm so glad that
we're discussing Ronnie's day, crazy Ronniewhile I'm Ronnie Raiser. So as many

(01:06:41):
of you who may listen to theshow know that when we do these pop
culture diagnosis segments, especially on likeuh like these types of shows where it
has to do with like, oh, you know, I'm hustling and in
these streets, I gotta get thismoney and you know, my ambition and
power and da da da. Alot of the characters that are like the
main characters, tend to be psychopaths, meaning that they're charming, but they're

(01:07:09):
also very dangerous and they do thingsthat are really heinous and just like oh
my god, like why would youkill that pregnant woman and her child?
Like, oh, well, Idid it because I have to further my
drug game or this person threatened myreputation. The thing about Ronnie Mathis from
raising Canaan, is that he's nota psychopath. He's not, Yes,

(01:07:31):
I know it. I'm learning notcharming at all. So awkward and creepy.
He's so awkward and creepy. Ronniebe having me dying when I went
like the parts that I watched escalwalks with that look jacket. Yeah,
he he just like he's just verystiff. There was one point where I
think it was what I think itwas unique is unique is married? Right?

(01:07:57):
Well, he's with his baby mama. I don't think marriage, okay,
Ronnie staying with his brother. SoRonnie's sister in law was like,
yo, she was like she waslike Ronnie, like what's going on?
What are you doing? Oh no? She asked like where her husband was,
where his brother was, And hewas like, I don't know because
I'm standing in the kitchen with youright now. So, like people who

(01:08:20):
are sociopaths sometimes tend to be verywhat's called concrete in their thinking. So
think about a little kid like thisis the best example I can give.
Think about a little kid like twothree years old. They don't understand sarcasm
yet Yeah, So there was apoint and I distinctly remember this in my

(01:08:40):
life when I was really small andmy parents thought that it was really funny
because they were they would keep askingme, like why the chicken across the
road, and they kept repeating,like to get to the other side.
And I was like, I don'tunderstand what you're saying. I'm like,
they the chicken across the world becausethe chicken wan across the road, right,
that's concrete thinking, like you can'tthere's no subtlety or nuance, so

(01:09:03):
you can't understand jokes. So someonesuch as Ronnie or a character such as
Ronnie, they don't understand jokes.And he's like, ah, she's off
my trail with this answer, rightright, Like no, Like he says
to his sister in law and sheasks, like, where's my husband.
He was like, I don't know. I'm in the kitchen with you.
But then he says, well,I don't know, maybe he's with some

(01:09:24):
side piece. Like it's so likehe doesn't understand nuance or like emotions,
and he doesn't and more so thanthat, he doesn't care, like he
don't care. So for him,he is in this situation the best person
who could be a murderer or anexecutioner, because he's like, well,

(01:09:45):
okay, so you told me thatI should eliminate this person because they're in
our way or they're in your way. Fine, shoot you like stab stab
shoot shoot, Like okay, they'regone, thank you. Like he just
sees people as like checkboxes, right, and he's just very like stone faced
and like he beat wildent like itjust like it's not it wouldn't be fun

(01:10:10):
to deal with in person. Butwatching like watching the scenes be set up,
like like two people will be talkingand then all of a sudden,
the camera will pan out and thenhere come Ronnie with that weird ass Nautica
jacket, like just staring like notblinking you, Like, Ronnie, what
are you doing. At one point, his brother's his brother's wife was like,
yeah, so last night Ronnie wasI walked, I walked downstairs.

(01:10:34):
I walked in the living room andRonnie was downstairs just like cent in front
of TV. And he was likeall right, like he likes to watch
TV at night. She was likeno, the TV was not on,
right, So yeah, Ronnie isoff. Yeah, but and maybe he
has some hallucinations. Maybe that's whyhe was, you know, has some
delusions, was watching the TV ifhe was giggling to himself. Definitely,

(01:10:59):
But at the very least, Ronnieis a sociopath, not charming, not
cool. You see him, youwant across the street that nigga will kill
you, like and not even blink. And in fact, I don't think
Ronnie really blinks on the show.Like he's just he's just like what is
that? I'm like, are youreyeballs not dry? Like? No,
he just That's like when I whenI see patients, like when I see

(01:11:24):
like my really like complicated cases,like that's how they are. Why are
they not blinky? Are how aretheir eyes not dry? They're just I
don't know. Sometimes I be likeyou want you okay, and they'd be
like yo, I'm like all rightthen like listen, I'm like if you
if you are, then I'm Ilike, I'm gonna just let you just

(01:11:44):
be so Yeah, some people arejust like that. And you can also
like people who have a lot ofsociopathic tendencies, they definitely tend to not
only they definitely tend to not onlybe in the like the incarcerated population,
but they tend to really thrive.Oh really yeah, like they love being

(01:12:05):
inside because every because everything it's likeit's it's just kind of mayhem. Like
there's rules, but at the endof the day, like sociopaths and psychopaths,
they want to break all the rules. And in jail like yeah,
there's rules, but then you knowthere's like there'll be cops that will be

(01:12:25):
like in cohoots with prisoners and likesometimes they be like fucking each other and
like there's like it's real like dirtyand grimy. So like somebody who has
no type of like emotional filter oremotional like sense will do amazing. Like
they love they love being in jailand oh yeah, so now they're so

(01:12:47):
basically Ronnie's out right like so Ronnieand he's just like, oh, this
is weird because he's gonna thrive andlike and he's gonna thrive in an environment
where there are a lot of otherpeople like him. So anyway, that's
Ronnie. Ronnie is a sociopath,definitely, can he is the hood Michael
Myers, that dude is crazy.Woo you guys. That's it for a

(01:13:08):
pop culture diagnosis for this week.We're gonna have another fun character to analyze
and discuss in our next episode.If you have hen, if you have
if you have any character suggestions thatyou would like for me to diagnose,
hit me up on Twitter at doctorUnderscoring Moni, hit meg up on Instagram
at Meg scoop All one Word,or email us both at Hello any monistate

(01:13:28):
ofmine dot com. And if youlove tweeting into the show, please remember
to rate and review us in yourfavorite podcast app. But if you're watching
this on the tube, like thisepisode, comment, subscribe to our channel,
share it with a friend or afriend of a friend. As always,
we love you and we are soglad that you've decided to see you
next time. Yes. Bye,