A New Search For Madeleine McCann & The Epidemic Of Family Estrangement

Welcome to the epidemic of family estrangement.

Through real stories of Australians who've made this difficult decision, we examine why more people are choosing to step away from toxic family relationships... and why sometimes loving someone from a distance might be the kindest choice you can make.

And in headlines today Portuguese police have launched another search for missing girl Madeleine McCann in the same area where she disappeared in 2007; Erin Patterson will return to the stand today after giving emotional evidence at her murder trial, accused of poisoning her in-laws with death cap mushrooms; Tourists have been sent running after Mt Etna in Sicily suddenly erupted; Aussies with type O blood are being urged to donate with supply of the life saving blood dropping; The Matildas have beaten Argentina 4-1 in Canberra with their new coach watching on.

THE END BITS
Support independent women's media

Check out The Quicky Instagram here

Mamamia studios are styled with furniture from Fenton and Fenton visit www.fentonandfenton.com.au

GET IN TOUCH
Share your story, feedback, or dilemma! Send us a voice note or email us at [e-mail]

CREDITS

Hosts: Claire Murphy & Taylah Strano

Guest: Annaliese Todd, Mamamia Lifestyle writer

Audio Producer: Lu Hill 

Become a Mamamia subscriber: https://www.mamamia.com.au/subscribe

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:10):
You're listening to a Muma Mia podcast. Mumma Mia acknowledges
the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast
is recorded on.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Hi.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
I'm Claire Murphy. This is Mumma MIA's twice daily news podcast,
The Quickie. Are you close with your family maybe you
don't speak to them at all. The number of people
cutting ties with family members is growing here in Australia.
But is it for the best? Before we get there,
here's in news headlines for Tuesday, June three. Portuguese police
have launched a new search for missing girl Madeline McCann

(00:43):
back where she disappeared in two thousand and seven. The
search comes after a request from German authorities, who in
twenty twenty two formerly identified German citizen Christian Bruckner as
an official suspect in Madeleine's disappearance. Portugal's judicial police say
they will be carrying out a wide range of investigations,
which will include a search of an area between Prayer

(01:05):
de Lutz, where Madeline went missing, from the resort where
her family was staying, and one of the houses where
Bruckner lived at the time, after which all evidence will
be handed over to German authorities. Authorities have made it
clear they are searching for traces of the child's body.
Bruckner has denied any involvement in Madeleine McCann's disappearance eighteen
years ago and has not been charged with any crime

(01:26):
related to the case. The convicted child abuser and drug
dealer is currently in jail in Germany for raping a
seventy two year old woman in the same area where
Madeleine went missing. The last search for the little girl
was held in May twenty twenty three, but failed to
return any evidence of her final resting place. Erin Patterson
will take to the stand again today after an emotional

(01:48):
day giving evidence at her own murder trial. Patterson is
accused of intentionally poisoning her in laws Don and Gale Patterson,
and Gaale's sister Heather by cooking them abeef Wellington laced
with death cap mushrooms. Police alled she foraged for the
mushrooms at known growing sites, then dehydrated them in an
appliance that was later thrown away. Patterson claims it was

(02:09):
a magic accident. Pleading not guilty to three counts of
murder and one of attempted murder with Heather's husband Ian
surviving the ordeal. Patterson became emotional as she described the
traumatic birth of her first child, and again when she
talked about how much help her mother in law had
been at the time. She said Gail was supportive and
gentle and very patient with her. She also talked about

(02:30):
her various separations from her husband, Simon over the years.
The first was when they were traveling across the north
of Australia with their baby son in two thousand and nine.
Patterson described how she found it difficult to handle a
small child while traveling, and that she and Simon had
struggled to communicate. She says they would just feel hurt
and not know how to resolve it. In the months

(02:51):
leading up to the deadly lunch, Patterson said she felt
more distance between herself and Simon's family and was concerned
that Simon didn't want her as involved with them. Patterson
will return to the stand in week six of her trial. Today.
Tourists had been sent running for their safety after Mount
Etna in Italy suddenly erupted. A video shared online shows
tourists running down the side of the volcano after it

(03:14):
began to send columns of steam and ash into the air.
A collapse of the site of the crater also sent
an avalanche of fire and ash down the slope. Luckily,
no one was injured. Sicily's president says the lava flows
have not passed the containment area and it poses no
danger to the surrounding communities. Ossie's with TYPO blood are
being asked to roll up a sleeve with storage of

(03:35):
the life saving blood at its lowest point since twenty
twenty three. Supply always drops off during the cooler months
when regular donors come down with various viruses, forcing them
to reschedule their appointments. But while supply drops off, demand
does not. Lifeblood saying they issue close to ten thousand
blood transfusions and medications to hospitals around the country in

(03:57):
order to meet patients needs every day. OH positive and
OH negative are more frequently ordered by hospitals because both
can be used in an emergency situation where the patient's
blood type is unknown. Negative is considered to be the
most universal and is the type stocked by ambulance crews
and rescue helicopters. If you are healthy and well and

(04:17):
are able to donate, your being asked to contact your
local blood donation center or mobile center to make an appointment.
A donation normally takes around an hour. The donation itself
is only ten minutes. After announcing their new coach. This week,
the Matildas have scored a win in Canberra. The four
to one win over Argentina. Brings to a close the
time of interim coach Tom Somani, with incoming manager Joe

(04:40):
Montemorau watching on. Amy Sayer, who spent the last year
rehabbing an ACL injury, scored twice, the first in the
fourteenth minute, then again in response to an Argentinian goal.
She nearly made it three, but the ball went high
and wide. Emily van Egman and Michelle Hayman also both
found the back of the net, bringing the Matildas to
four and their sixth straight victory on home soil. The

(05:03):
team now faces Slovenia for two friendlies at the end
of the month as they continue their campaign for the
twenty twenty six Asian Cup. That's What's happening in the
world today. Next inside the epidemic of family estrangement. When
we talk about family relationships, there's often an unspoken expectation

(05:23):
that we should just maintain them at all costs. After all,
they're family, right, But what happens when those relationships become
toxic or so damaging that walking away feels like the
only option. New research suggests we're seeing what experts are
calling an epidemic of family estrangement, and, at least Todd explains.

Speaker 2 (05:46):
In the quiet corners of many Australian families lies a
painful reality that's rarely discussed openly, the complete severing of
parent child relationships. Researchers are now describing what appears to
be an epidemic of family estrangement, with studies showing approximately
twenty six percent of young adults have gone no contact

(06:06):
with their fathers, while six percent have cut off communication
with their mothers. Behind these stats are real stories of
people who've made the difficult decision to step away from
their families. An estrangement can look like many different things
to different people. It comes in all shapes, sizes, and circumstances.

(06:27):
Take Amy, who's been estrange from her family for over
fifteen years. She only discovered her mother had died a
year after it happened, and surprisingly, she felt profound relief.
Amy's story reveals one of the most common reasons for
estrangement a history of abuse and trauma. She comes from

(06:48):
what she describes as a long line of physical, emotional,
and sexual abuse that occurred for generations. Even after moving
across the country, Amy would suffer horrible headaches and waking
nightmares after speaking with her parents on the phone. During
family visits, she would become so physically ill that she
required hospitalization. Then there's Asia's story, which highlights how emotional

(07:12):
neglect can lead to estrangement. As a parent herself, now
she can see clearly how her parents favored her younger brothers.
The final straw came during her cancer treatment, when her
parents visited only once spent the day fussing over their
other grandchildren, leaving her to cook dinner for them while
undergoing treatment. For Elena, toxic and narcissistic behavior from her

(07:36):
mother led to cutting ties at age eighteen. Even after
ten years of no contact, Elena still receives messages from
her mum claiming she did nothing wrong. Divorce can also
trigger estrangement, as Geer's story shows, her father left her
mother for another woman, then repeated that Patton multiple times.
During her first year of university, They briefly bonded when

(07:58):
his third wife left him, but weeks later he met
his fourth wife and their progress was forgotten. The final
break came at Gea's wedding. Her father refused to attend
unless he could walk her on the aisle, despite her
stepfather being a key figure in her upbringing. World renowned
psychologist Steve Bidoff notes that for people who cut ties

(08:18):
with difficult parents, it can be a very releasing experience.
He points out that even in ancient societies, DNA evidence
shows that about one person in six will travel hundreds
of kilometers away from their family. However, he emphasizes that
the inner work must follow. Estrangement alone doesn't completely heal
the trauma. Behind each of these stories lies profound pain,

(08:44):
often generations of it, and the difficult recognition that sometimes
loving someone from a distance is the kindest choice one
can make, both for themselves and paradoxically, for the relationship
that might have been. It's a reminder that family bonds,
while powerful, aren't always healthy, and that sometimes the bravest

(09:05):
thing we can do is acknowledged when those bonds need
to be broken.

Speaker 1 (09:13):
Thanks for taking the time to feed your mind with
us today. The quickie is produced by me Claire Murphy
and Taylor Strano, with audio production by Lou Hill. Mama
Mea Studios are styled with furniture from Fenton and Fenton.
Visit Fenton and Fenton dot com Today you