Introducing: I Never Told You This - Mary and Martha Kalifatidis

Introducing I Never Told You This: Two People. One big reveal. 

A simple card deck with questions. Some are light hearted, some deeper…and one that says ‘I Never Told You This’ - the chance for one person to share something they’ve never told the other before.

In the first episode of 'I Never Told You This', Mary and Martha Kalifatidis chat about their all-too-relatable experience of protectiveness and anxiety as parents.If you want to continue to enjoy this series, it will be dropping every Thursday over at the But Are You Happy podcast.

Head to Medibank to learn more about the Family Roast card game that sparked the conversation.

The experiences shared and views expressed are those of the people featured and do not reflect the views of Medibank. This is not health advice. If you or someone you know needs help, you should always consult a trusted health professional. For further support and guidance, visit Medibank Mental Health. Or, if in need of immediate support, call Lifeline on 13 11 14. 

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See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:10):
So much you're listening to a Muma Mea podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Mumma Mea acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on. Hey Quiki Friends, Taylor
dropping into your podcast feed this fine weekend with another
listening reco Now, the conversation around mental health is constant
here in the newsroom. We're always seeing stories about mental health,
how to talk about it, and how to support people

(00:35):
to get mentally fit almost daily, which makes sense when
you think about the fact that one in five Ossies
experience a mental health condition each year. But despite so
many of us living with a mental health condition, too
many suffer in silence. Talking about our feelings and experiences
is one of the most powerful steps towards healing and

(00:56):
knowing you're not alone, which is where our new series
I Never Told You This comes in. I Never Told
You This was created to spark honest, meaningful conversations supporting
better mental well being. Now new episodes dropping every single
week in the butter You Happy Feed, but you can
take a listen to the first episode here right now.

Speaker 3 (01:18):
I have anxiety myself. I don't even know what to
do with it. Do you know how to deal with it.
I feel like we don't really know how to deal
with it. We just kind of get up and just
seize the day. It doesn't matter how you're feeling.

Speaker 4 (01:27):
Soldier on two people, one big reveal. I never told
you this a simple card game where one question could
change everything. It starts like, what more things brings me joy?

Speaker 1 (01:37):
I'm not going to answer that.

Speaker 4 (01:39):
Then comes the moment that could shift a relationship forever.
As they finished this sentence, I never told you this.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
I've never told you. They never told you this.

Speaker 4 (01:50):
Today, Reality TV influences mother and daughter duo Mary and
Martha Califordidas will be sitting down together.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
Quite nervous, but I'm always nervous.

Speaker 4 (01:59):
Mary has something big to reveal to her daughter.

Speaker 5 (02:02):
I don't think she's expecting me to say what I'm
going to say.

Speaker 3 (02:06):
Welcome, Martha, Oh thanks for having me, Mary. This is
a bit you for us, I know.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
Welcome.

Speaker 5 (02:12):
So today we're going to play a little game with
the Medibank family roast cards.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
Are you ready to play?

Speaker 3 (02:18):
Yes, let's get into this game.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
I think we need a little game. So who picks? There?
You go for it? Oh? Are you ready? Oh? What
is the most ridiculous fashion trend.

Speaker 3 (02:29):
You ever followed those thick fat belts that were like
a boob troop and we'd wear them over the jeans.
That has to be one of the ugliest things I
ever did. I'm five foot two and that made me
four foot two.

Speaker 5 (02:41):
I probably told you, but you wouldn't probably listen.

Speaker 3 (02:44):
Here we go. She had to throw that one in
my face and just saying kid, just saying, all right,
so I'll pick a card. Oh, what is something I
do that grosses you out?

Speaker 1 (02:54):
I don't think you do anything they do not.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
No, that's right, good answer, Mary.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
What about me? Oh don't because I can say so
many things. I bring it to the table.

Speaker 5 (03:04):
Putting your cuticles, well, that's just like meditation.

Speaker 3 (03:07):
If you go and get that done and then you
like to do more and just keep cutting the cuticle,
it must be a nervous It's definitely a nervous habit.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
Okay, I'll take that, all right, go next? Oh is
that me? What do you think your most useless talent is?
You've got plenty of those.

Speaker 3 (03:25):
I don't think I've got any. I just there's no
timeless for uselessness in our family.

Speaker 5 (03:29):
I agree.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
What about how you can you start singing every single
commercial song that's ever come on since like nineteen.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
Eighty fifties from the Earth. I'm going to pick the
next card. I never told you this.

Speaker 5 (03:50):
When you went on reality TV, all these comments would
come in on social media. It actually affected me, but
I didn't want to show you that it was affecting me.
All these comments that were coming in, and I'd be
staying up till three four in the morning, and I
didn't really how toxic social media can be. I didn't

(04:13):
know as a parent how I can comfort you.

Speaker 3 (04:16):
No, I can totally understand how that would have affected you.
With the trolls on the internet, they think they know me,
but you really know me, and so you were reading
things that weren't true, and then that would be just
endless cycle.

Speaker 5 (04:29):
Now you're a parent, and I'm sure you would probably do.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
The same now that I'm a parent, I just want
to protect him from everything I.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
Could only imagine.

Speaker 5 (04:38):
And that's why I didn't want to burden you with
I've got anxiety, I can't sleep. I was I had
shortness of breath, like I was thinking, Mom, don't yeah,
But that's how it was.

Speaker 3 (04:49):
I think to some degree, I did have some idea
because you did start acting really strange. I definitely think.
I know you were staying up really late looking at comments,
and I remember just being to you, like, don't worry
about it, man, like it's fine. But I think at
the time I didn't want to show you either that
it was affecting me. I would just say, oh to you,

(05:10):
like it doesn't matter, but really, like I would be
in my room staying upbreading the comments as well. So
I have anxiety myself. I don't even know what to
do with it. Do you know how to deal with it?
I feel like we don't really know how to deal
with it. We just kind of move on with the
day and just keep the day going, But it doesn't
mean that the anxiety goes away.

Speaker 6 (05:31):
The rest of this episode of I never told you
this right after the break.

Speaker 5 (05:38):
Thinking back, I should have just been more open and
told you, like, you know what, it's normal to feel
this way because I'm feeling this way. Yeah, I think
if this had done that, we probably would have been
able to, you know, commune and pack it and then
just deal with it in the open instead of dealing
with it separately in.

Speaker 1 (05:54):
Our different rooms.

Speaker 3 (05:55):
Yeah, but that's very That's very much what our family does,
though we're not very good at revealing, which is strange
because we're so open that's about everything, about movements and everything,
because we've brought up to be like quite hard.

Speaker 1 (06:10):
And like strong and tarbodic. No, you can't get over it.
Get up and just seize the day. It doesn't matter
how you're feeling. Soldier on.

Speaker 5 (06:17):
When I was growing up, our parents were very strict.
They never showed emotion, They never you know, I.

Speaker 3 (06:23):
Just find that hard to believe.

Speaker 6 (06:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (06:24):
Yeah, it is like the most softest, sweetest, gentlest, emotional,
loving caring.

Speaker 1 (06:30):
She wasn't when we were growing up.

Speaker 3 (06:31):
I just find it hard to believe.

Speaker 1 (06:34):
She was strict. Get up old age.

Speaker 3 (06:38):
It really softens you.

Speaker 1 (06:39):
It breaks you down.

Speaker 5 (06:44):
With like searching and being like my own little detective.
I noticed that a lot of these comments weren't coming
from young kids that were just being mean. These were
from parents that had kids. How could you try and
destroy someone else's child. People want kids to be kind,
but they don't teach them the tools to be kind

(07:05):
and not to bring other people down. You know, like
kids are mean today.

Speaker 1 (07:09):
I hate that. I learn that from somewhere.

Speaker 5 (07:12):
Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. The parents are the
ones that need to actually change.

Speaker 3 (07:17):
I kind of feel a bit sad for you in
a way that you kind of dealt with that on
your own.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
That's what parents do, you know.

Speaker 5 (07:24):
They try to protect I think, their kids as much
as they can. You know, So if your son was
dealing with anxiety, how would you help.

Speaker 1 (07:34):
Him growing up?

Speaker 3 (07:36):
You always said those that matter don't mind, and those
that mind don't matter. It doesn't really matter, because who
are these people to you? As long as, like you know,
your friends, your family, the people that you care about,
the opinions of others don't really matter.

Speaker 1 (07:52):
That's good.

Speaker 3 (07:53):
At least you've got something that stuck, stuck from all
those years.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
Yeah, it's not easy being a parent.

Speaker 3 (08:00):
It's so not It's the hardest thing ever. It's so
not easy being a parent. I appreciate it.

Speaker 1 (08:06):
Oh, thank you, Mary, no worries.

Speaker 3 (08:10):
Yeah, and it's nice to know that you're human under
all that. Yeah, it's nice to know that under all
there there is actually some flesh and blood. Well done,
fish pump.

Speaker 1 (08:21):
Oh is that something we do still?

Speaker 6 (08:29):
This episode was brought to you by Medibank Live Better
with Medibank. If this conversation brought up any strong feelings
for you, don't forget there is help out there. Please
see show notes for resources.