2Sisters Speak: Surviving the Sandwich Generation

"Isn't it ironic? - Don't you think?" – Alanis Morrisette, 1996

Irony is helping our kids learn how to drive while at the same time, trying to get our parents to give up driving.

Irony is trying to help our parents manage life with the internet and at the same time, trying to help our kids manage their lives with the internet.

Irony is helping our parents find a contact on their phone (again) and then having to ask our kids how ...

We all have regrets about many things in our lives at any given moment, but should we always say, "I'm sorry?"

We were going to do a podcast apologizing for not having done a podcast since January, but why are we sorry? Whose expectations did we fall short of? Yours? Are you upset with us?

And, if you feel we did fall short somehow, how much of an impact should we allow that to have on ourselves? What benefit could constantly fee...

Are we all just hurdling ourselves through each day, again and again? When will things slow down and get a little easier? "Stop and smell the roses," they say but, as sandwiched caregivers, we are moving so fast we don't even notice any roses.

Being busy is almost a status symbol nowadays. We tend to measure our value based on how productive we can be. We are feeling like we can never relax because there is always more to do. We t...

Being a sandwiched adult child during the holidays is extra hard because expectations are so high.

This is the happiest time of the year, right? Who makes everything magical for everyone? (Hint: it's not Santa). It's us and it's a lot of pressure right now especially around our toxic family members. Here are a few quick tips for surviving the holiday sandwich season.

1. It is not required that you participate in every argument y...

How do we make everything work as sisters, as parents, as adult children, as friends, and as business partners? In this episode we offer our best tips for getting along with the people you most depend on.

1. We choose not to have unnecessary conflicts. It is humbling but also empowering to look at how much energy we spend either towards our goals or away from them. We purposefully let a lot slide in order to protect our complex ...

Grieving the loss of a loved one feels heavy and overwhelming in the best of circumstances. Many people have not considered beyond grieving how much work needs to be done by others after they pass away.

It's more than just not being willing to discuss death. Some people will never agree to proactive planning about their death and what comes afterwards. Of those that do, the catalyst is often when they realize how much worse their ...

How do we get our parents buy-in to move or accept care at home?

As we have discussed in previous episodes, we are firm believers that the way something is said affects the way it is perceived. You have been trying for months or even years to get your dad to agree to accept help at home let alone move into assisted living, so what can you do? Listen in while we talk about what worked with our parents and experiences with our clien...

Everyone's situation is unique. As senior care consultants, we find ourselves offering the same resources repeatedly. Listen to today's episode to learn our topmost frequently recommended senior care planning resources.

RESOURCES:

• National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys (NAELA) https://www.naela.org/
• Aging Life Care Association (ALCA) https://www.aginglifecare.org/
• National Association of Senior Move Managers (NASMM) https://...

Maya Angelou once said, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

We pay attention to how the words we use make others feel. We can't control how what we say is perceived, but we can choose different words to help us towards the outcome we are hoping for.

The word "facility" connotes a medical establishment, not a place where I would...

Does being independent mean that you can do everything for yourself?

By the traditional standards, independence equals self-sufficiency. Many of our clients are stubbornly committed to not accepting help. Accepting help means they are failing at taking care of themselves.

We perceive independence as having agency over our lives and choices, control over how we want to live, but we don't believe for a minute that we should do it a...

In this episode, Michelle and Alyson discuss some of the resources available to help us have important conversations about end of life with our loved ones.

Death is inevitable. We all know this. Let's explore the options we have to honor our loved ones in the way they want to be honored. What measures can we take, at any age, to alleviate the burden of our inevitable death for our loved ones who are mourning? What are the current ...

Death is inevitable, it happens to ALL of us. Ignoring this, and refusing to talk about it, only makes things harder for the loved ones we leave behind.

So many people are in denial that they will experience death at some point. Things are absolutely different when someone's passing is unexpected or their life has been cut short. But for an elderly person, perhaps we can change our perspective from mourning to gratitude, or even c...

Validating, redirecting, using therapeutic fibs, and empathic listening are some of the most common techniques used to successfully communicate with someone who has dementia. Each of these techniques requires us to think on our feet, and go with the flow.

Communication with someone who has dementia is outcome-based. What is the objective of what we are communicating? Are we trying to get them to perform a particular task? Are we t...

Blind spots refer to things that we are not fully conscious of that affect our lives. This is sometimes due to a lack of knowledge or awareness, but it is often because we are in denial.

The definition of a blind spot, according to the APA Dictionary of Psychology is, "a lack of insight or awareness—often persistent—about a specific area of one's behavior or personality, typically because recognition of one's true feelings and mot...

We miss our parents, but they're still here.

It's not easy wanting support from our parents -- but now they need our support instead. Being an adult child or family caregiver means having less support but more responsibility. We want to look to our parents for guidance, as they may have always provided, but instead they are looking upon us for support. Especially when there is cognitive decline, we experience mourning over the los...

How would your loved one prefer to live if they can't manage alone independently? What is their goal? Do you have the resources and support system to achieve the goal?

We're going on a trip, but we have no map or GPS and not quite enough gas to get there. Will we get to our destination? Maybe eventually, but not without some struggles and costly detours. You can figure out how far your gas will get you and map out a route in advan...

Michelle and Alyson tap into their lifetime of experiences to discuss what can be expected from an assisted living residence.

What is the difference between assisted living and a nursing home? What is included at an assisted living? How much care is available in an assisted living? What happens if you run out of money? What if your loved one is not happy?

Three takeaways from this episode:

1. Assisted living residences offer mo...

Why are we able to support people in working with their families, and yet, have so little patience with our own family?

In today's episode, we commiserate with a listener who sent us an email. This email in particular struck a chord with us because we struggle with the same issue!

If nurses make the worst patients, then senior care professionals make the worst adult children. Right? This is at least true for us, and we are willin...

What is a respite stay? When is a respite stay appropriate? What should you expect when your loved one does a respite stay? 

There are a few types of respite stays. Some are short-term stays because a caregiver is going away or needs a break. Other types are more of a trial stay in an assisted living. Respite stays can have great outcomes and, in this episode, Michelle, Alyson and Emily explore why.

Three takeaways from this epis...