May 28, 2023 • 20 mins
Ann Hurst from Open Amrs Counseling shares her story about her cancer diagnosis.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
You know, in everyone's life,a little rain must fall, and we
all face adversity. It's part oflife and it's okay to fall down.
It's all about how you get backup. And our next guest is all
about that. Anne Hers has beenone of our major and main sponsors almost
from the get go. She hasopen Arms Counseling and Michaela. Anne deals
(00:23):
with and her team helping people throughdifficult situations every single day. It's who
they are, it's who they've become, it's their career. And then Anne
herself learned very recently, still inmy mind, that she was dealing with
a difficult situation, one that manyof our families have dealt with, and
it was a diagnosis of cancer.So, and we haven't talked to you
(00:45):
in a couple months. It isso good to have you back on what
matters? How are you doing?Oh, I'm doing well. It's so
good to be back with you,guys. Can you walk us through?
And I know that this conversation isgoing to hit home with so many people,
So many of our listeners will relateto this because I don't know anyone
who doesn't know someone who's been diagnosedwith cancer. Can you walk us through
(01:07):
the very beginning when you were firstdiagnosed and went through your mind? Oh?
Wow, To be honest, itkind of felt like joining a club
I never wanted to join. Ithappened so quickly. There was a spot
that was just kind of out ofnormal, and I didn't think anything of
(01:29):
it, and a doctor saw it, and thank goodness they did, because
they suggested I get a biopsy.And it turns out that I do have
breast cancer. But they were ableto catch it very very early. And
I will tell you, from thevery beginning, it literally felt like joining
a club that I really didn't wantto join. Yeah, I mean,
I've heard that analogy before, Anne, and now to know you and to
(01:53):
have you say it, I mean, when you joined this this club,
what are some of the first thingsthat happened? For those who haven't been
on this journey, haven't had aclose one who's gone on this journey,
you find out that something that didn'tseem much of anything is something. So
how quickly do things move? Howquickly do things happen after that? Because
I thought it was pretty quick afteryou told us, explain if you could,
(02:16):
it moved very very quickly. Imean, from the time I got
the diagnosis to starting treatment was justa matter of a couple of weeks.
And I actually got a port putin the day after my diagnosis. So
it just feels like a whirlwind.As soon as the diagnosis happened, At
(02:39):
least for me, it was likeI didn't have time to catch my breath
before I'm into the middle of treatments. We're talking with Annehurst with Open Arms
Counseling, who was recently diagnosed withbreast cancer. And you said the doctor
found it. Were you at anormal checkup, Were you having a Mammograham
Did you feel any differently at all? Did you even know that anything was
(03:01):
there. No, I had noidea that anything was there. To tell
you the truth, I had fallenoff my horse and I was in to
check into the damage from falling offthe horse, and that's when the doctor
saw that spot and said, hey, what's going on there. I'm like,
well, you know, it's nothing. It's just been like that for
(03:23):
a little while, and immediately theymoved into it just looked like a spot
that would be like a friction againstclothing or something you've just touched on.
Something that's so incredible. You didn'teven know you were going to the doctor
(03:44):
for an entirely different reason. Itreminded me of my brother in law,
my husband Randy's brother. He wastaking one of his kids to the doctor
to get looked at for poison ivy. The doctor took one looked at him,
one look at him and said,you don't look good to me.
I want to do some tests onyou. He ended up having leukemia.
So how weird. You know,that's when the whole universe comes together for
(04:05):
one particular reason. You were therefor a reason God sent you there.
I really believe that, Anne.Oh, I agree with that one hundred
percent. The type of cancer thatI've been diagnosed with they say is very
aggressive and spreads very quickly. However, my oncologist has looked through my entire
(04:26):
body, actually expecting to find more, and she has found nothing. Wow.
So it was caught so early,mainly because I really appreciate my horse
that I fell off of, becauseexactly I thought the first ye're saying I
kind of fell off the horse likeyou help people fall off the wagon.
I thought you were using it likeis it term? But you really did
legitimately fall off your literal force.So Anne, is it triple negative as
(04:51):
on they ask, or is itsomething else entirely if they were looking throughout
the rest of your body for it, it's her too positive h R two
positive. It's ah you, Iknow you. You mentioned triple negative.
You're usually positive in three of themand or negative in three of them.
(05:14):
I am positive in the last onethe h R so I'm negative negative positive.
What What has an experience been likegetting treatment? You know? So
fortunate to find this quickly because ofthe horse you fell off of what you
got that poured in the day afteryour diagnosis? Like? What did treatment
look like? What has it looklike? And where are you on the
(05:34):
treatment journey? Um? I amdoing chemotherapy. They said that I will
need four to six treatments of that. I've finished four and I'm going in
for an MRI to see where westand with the size of tumors, to
see if um I need two moreor not. But it's been it's been
(05:59):
a interesting to say the least.I I expected to be a lot sicker
than I am with it, soit Honestly, I'm feeling very grateful for
my reactions to it. However,it's it's hard. I don't call myself
a cancer survivor. I'm a cancertreatment survivor because I felt fine before I
got the treatment. Yeah. Yeah, well heck, you didn't even know
(06:20):
you had it. I've heard thatabout the treatment, and that's the thing
that I think. That's why Iwas saying hoping you were doing well,
because it can be rough. Whatare your treatment what's your treatment advice to
try to stay feeling good? Haveyou found the things that make you feel
good? Yeah? Absolutely. Afterthe first one, I kind of realized
what everybody's chemotherapy is different and uniqueto them. And after my first treatment,
(06:45):
we figured out what my biggest hurdleswill be physically with the chemotherapy,
and I've worked on combating those.So you know, for me, there's
a bit of about whole issue.I hate to say that out loud,
so working with the medications to regulatethat and I get tired very easily,
(07:08):
and knowing which day after chemotherapy I'mgoing to be the tiredest. It's just
a matter of figuring out how chemotherapypits you and learning what you need to
do to keep from having the worstof the symptoms. And you have spent
your entire career helping people get throughdifficult situations, physical situations, mental situations.
(07:34):
Has your background and being able tohave helped so many people in the
past, has that actually helped yougo through this right now? I think
in a way it has, namelybecause I've always told people, you are
not your diagnosis, do not internalizethat, do not consider yourself to be
(07:55):
that diagnosis. And I've really thoughtof that with myself. I'm not letting
us define me. I am notcancer. I happen to have some cancer
and it's going to be passing through, but I am not that. I'm
so glad that you're able to sharewith us. We're talking with Anne Hurst
of Open Arms Counseling about her cancertreatment journey, and we're going to keep
(08:18):
you around because we want to talkwith you about something else that impacts families.
You know a lot of families areimpacted obviously by a cancer diagnosis,
but loneliness. Loneliness has become anepidemic and I think it's leading to health
problems for folks. And I'm sureyou guys see that at the practice all
the time. Oh absolutely, absolutelyso. Can you hold on the line
(08:41):
and We're going to continue to havethat conversation with you on loneliness, and
also when we come back, Iwant to ask you how your husband is,
because I think when the initial patientgoes through cancer, it's one thing,
but then to watch our loved oneswatch us go through difficult times,
that's hard as well. So I'mkind of wondering what type of advice you
(09:03):
would give to him and other familymembers who have watched other family members go
through these things. Okay, wewill do that, and if you have
questions for Anne now, it's agreat time to be able to get your
call in six one four eight twoone nine eight eight six. That's six
one four eight two one. WTVN. Will continue our conversation after the break.
(09:24):
This is What Matters on six tenWTVN. That is true. It
is always darkest before the dawn.We are having a conversation that we wish
we didn't have to have with Annehurstof Open Arms Counseling. You guys know
Anne by now, she's been amonthly sponsor of our What Matters show really
since the beginning almost five years.MICHAELA, Yeah, truly really a supporter
(09:46):
of all we do in a supporterof all of you and your mental health.
Mandy has a couple other questions shewants to ask before we get into
the subject of loneliness with Anne andhow this has become an epidemic truly,
So, Mindy, go ahead.What were some of the questions you had?
Though? These were great? Soand as you were talking about being
diagnosed with breastcancer so surprisingly so aftershe fell off of her horse, she
(10:07):
went in and to get maybe treatmentfrom that fall. They find a spot
and they're like, hey, what'sgoing on here? She gets diagnosed with
breast cancer and is one person whoher and her staff have treated and helped
so many people going through difficulties.I just kind of want to know.
It is one thing when we gothrough times like this ourself, But and
what do you say to the familymembers and like, your husband helping you
(10:31):
through this? How's he doing?Oh? Well, well, I can't.
I've got to start this by sayingthat I am so blessed to have
the husband I do to go throughthis with me. He has been amazing
through the whole thing. I knowit hit him very, very hard.
His mother had cancer his entire lifebefore he was adopted because his mother was
(10:56):
diagnosed with lymphoma shortly after his momand got married. So his entire life,
his mom was in and out ofremission with lymphoma, and she didn't
pass until she was in her sixtiesand he was an adult. So when
I got my diagnosis, I swearhe really I could see the panic in
his face when we found out thatit was so super early. He was
(11:22):
calming down a lot. However,he has been a champion through this whole
thing. He has made little frozenmeals for me that he knew that would
set well in my stomach, andhe froze them all into the freezer.
He has done research online to findthe best ginger choose for me for when
(11:43):
I got nausea nauseaus He found theselittle nausea drops that will help with nausea
as well. He's been calling meto make sure I keep my medicine regime
right. He's been with me toevery single appointment, and I will tell
you that one of the best thingsa person can do, a loved one
(12:05):
can do when somebody's diagnosed is togo to the appointment and ask questions.
Because I when I got my diagnosis, I swear my brain just shut down.
All I heard was you have cancer, and I think everything after that
was a blur. And Dan satthere asking, Okay, what are our
treatment options? What are we goingto do? What is the meaning of
(12:26):
each treatment option? Where the sideeffects? He just had such great questions
for them. So he has beensuch a support. You know what,
I'm going to say this, andyou're lucky really. I mean, yeah,
you're diagnosed with breast cancer, butsometimes it goes through things. When
you go through things like this,you realize how lucky we are in life
(12:48):
and who we do have in ourcorner. And there was a reason you
two found one another. And Ithink it's just a beautiful thing. You're
very, very fortunate for that.And I would say that you're you're spot
on with that because when my momwas diagnosed with her sarcoma, I don't
even know if she cancer, what'sthat? But my sister and I were
with her, and you do askall those questions, what do you do
(13:11):
next? Where do we go fromhere? Yeah? Right? Yeah?
And I think the other thing thatI Okay, so losing your hair is
hard to do. Um, It'ssomething that never really thought about until it
happened, and by the time Ibecame completely bald, my husband looked at
me and smiled and said, youhave got the most beautiful scalps I have
(13:33):
ever seen. Oh my gosh,and we know you an you had a
long hair. Yeah, I know. So what are you doing? Are
you? We got to ask becausewe want to support you going bald?
Did you do a wig? Whatyou decide to do? I have got
wigs, yes, because you lovethat hair. We know it. So
I'm sitting to do the wigs havenames? I know some people name their
(13:56):
wigs. A couple of them do. One of them looks kind of like
my sister's hairstyle and color, soI called that the Janet wig. Well,
I think you should take two ofthem and named one Mikhaela, and
so you can think of us whenyou put on those wigs. You know,
we're so proud of you for havingthis open and very honest and very
real conversation with all of our WhatMatters listeners. I think it really hits
(14:20):
home for so many people. Andthen since we have you on the line,
we did want to talk about lonelinessbecause I'm not sure if you guys
know the numbers everyone listening. Onehundred and sixty two thousand Americans die every
year from loneliness and social isolation.That is greater than the number of Americans
who die each year from lung cancer. And that was put out by the
(14:41):
US government. It's shocking, soAnne, I think it's been the last
four weeks they declared there's an advisoryfrom the US Surge in General saying there
is an epidemic of loneliness and itcan increase that risk for premature death to
levels comparable to smoking fifth teen cigarettesa day. I mean, when you
(15:03):
look at this, there is thisincreased risk of heart disease, increased risk
of stroke, and then this fiftypercent increased risk of developing dementia. What
is happening and how can we startto combat some of this? What are
the solutions as we sit here andtalk on this Sunday afternoon. Oh well,
as far, I think that thisis something that is a spinoff of
(15:26):
COVID, and I mean this isjust my opinion, it's not you know,
but we isolated ourselves for a veryvery long time and then a lot
of people got away from being ableto be We are social creatures. We
are social beings, and we needto be in a social group with others
we thrive. Even the most introvertedhuman being on the planet still needs that
(15:52):
other persons in their life to keepthem from being lonely. And being isolated
and lonely is one of the worstthings in the world, one of the
best things. Even even being diagnosedwith the cancer, the first things they
ask is what is your social supportlike? And your prognosis is so much
better when you have a social supportthat's strong. Because of this, you
(16:15):
need other people in your life tocome back loneliness, to be there for
you to be social. And Ithink that we did a lot of this
with the COVID isolation. But Iwill say I think on top of COVID,
to both of you, our digitalenvironment is not good. Cod COVID
did some things, but on topof that, people stay on their devices
(16:38):
and they are unwilling to talk orput themselves out there for others. It's
because you get everything from the Google. Yeah, that is true. And
even shopping, you can order everythingonline and have it dropped off to you
don't have to go to a stopto even grocery shopping, you can order
your groceries and have them brought outto you. We need to do those
social skills a lot more. That'sa great point, MICHAELA. That is
(17:02):
a very good point. I actuallymy husband and I were out once and
we saw a young couple on adate and I literally they were texting each
other back and forth in the restaurant. They weren't speaking to each other.
Yeah, that's that's crazy to me, you know what. And it gets
to a point where we can feellonely at all different ages and stages in
our life. But when you doreach the elderly stage and a lot of
(17:22):
your family is gone and your friendsare gone, and you do suffer from
loneliness, what about And it soundsso simple, and it goes back to
me being that animal lover. Whatabout bringing an animal into your life that
has to help with some loneliness?Right in? Oh, it does absolutely.
There have been studies and I don'thave the numbers in front of me,
but having an animal in your lifedefinitely increases your life expectancy quite a
(17:48):
bit, and it increases your happinessquotient. They just make you happier,
calmer, anxiety reducer, having ananimal in your life, and I think
another thing is we need to beaware of our surroundings and the people in
it and identify people who might belonely and reach out to them. We
(18:08):
do, and we have to beemboldened to do so. And that goes
back to like getting out of ourcorner of the world. That's a little
screen. I mean, you know, talking to your neighbors. I've had
people who are like, who aremy neighbors? Why would I talk to
my neighbors? You guys, that'swhat we got to do. We have
to get out there and put ourselvesout there. I mean, I don't
(18:29):
understand how someone doesn't want to talkto their neighbor. It's so different than
when we were growing up, whereevery neighbor knew everybody. You knew the
mister and missus, you knew thekids, everybody knew everybody. It is
so not that way anymore. AndChuck Sailor is listening and he had two
comments for you. He is goingthrough his own cancer fight right now and
he lives alone. So he said, ay, Anne is right about the
(18:53):
treatment. That's the worst part ofall cancer. Now I'm on a new
treatment and it's the worst one.He's been through worse than the first treatment
he was on. And then healso said that things I do to fight
loneliness is to do things you havealways done, just in closer contact with
your family and say close contact withyour friends, because all those people love
(19:15):
you and they're pulling for you.So for you to realize that, it's
a huge statement of keeping loneliness atbay. Absolutely absolutely. We so appreciate
your insight always, and I'm soglad we got to talk to you today.
India's two for people who are lookingto talk about where they are with
(19:37):
whatever they're going through loneliness? Somethingelse? Do you guys have availability and
how people can How can people geta hold of your great staff. Oh,
we definitely have availability. We're alwaysthere for you and they can give
us a call at six one foursix two five seven one eight three or
just go on our website it's OpenArms Counseling dot com. And we appreciate
(20:00):
you so so very much and weare in the fight with you, that
is for sure. Thank you somuch. I really appreciate it. I
really appreciate your caller and my thoughtsare with him. Thanks Anne. This
is what matters. On six tenWTVN,
You know, in everyone's life,a little rain must fall, and we
all face adversity. It's part oflife and it's okay to fall down.
It's all about how you get backup. And our next guest is all
about that. Anne Hers has beenone of our major and main sponsors almost
from the get go. She hasopen Arms Counseling and Michaela. Anne deals
(00:23):
with and her team helping people throughdifficult situations every single day. It's who
they are, it's who they've become, it's their career. And then Anne
herself learned very recently, still inmy mind, that she was dealing with
a difficult situation, one that manyof our families have dealt with, and
it was a diagnosis of cancer.So, and we haven't talked to you
(00:45):
in a couple months. It isso good to have you back on what
matters? How are you doing?Oh, I'm doing well. It's so
good to be back with you,guys. Can you walk us through?
And I know that this conversation isgoing to hit home with so many people,
So many of our listeners will relateto this because I don't know anyone
who doesn't know someone who's been diagnosedwith cancer. Can you walk us through
(01:07):
the very beginning when you were firstdiagnosed and went through your mind? Oh?
Wow, To be honest, itkind of felt like joining a club
I never wanted to join. Ithappened so quickly. There was a spot
that was just kind of out ofnormal, and I didn't think anything of
(01:29):
it, and a doctor saw it, and thank goodness they did, because
they suggested I get a biopsy.And it turns out that I do have
breast cancer. But they were ableto catch it very very early. And
I will tell you, from thevery beginning, it literally felt like joining
a club that I really didn't wantto join. Yeah, I mean,
I've heard that analogy before, Anne, and now to know you and to
(01:53):
have you say it, I mean, when you joined this this club,
what are some of the first thingsthat happened? For those who haven't been
on this journey, haven't had aclose one who's gone on this journey,
you find out that something that didn'tseem much of anything is something. So
how quickly do things move? Howquickly do things happen after that? Because
I thought it was pretty quick afteryou told us, explain if you could,
(02:16):
it moved very very quickly. Imean, from the time I got
the diagnosis to starting treatment was justa matter of a couple of weeks.
And I actually got a port putin the day after my diagnosis. So
it just feels like a whirlwind.As soon as the diagnosis happened, At
(02:39):
least for me, it was likeI didn't have time to catch my breath
before I'm into the middle of treatments. We're talking with Annehurst with Open Arms
Counseling, who was recently diagnosed withbreast cancer. And you said the doctor
found it. Were you at anormal checkup, Were you having a Mammograham
Did you feel any differently at all? Did you even know that anything was
(03:01):
there. No, I had noidea that anything was there. To tell
you the truth, I had fallenoff my horse and I was in to
check into the damage from falling offthe horse, and that's when the doctor
saw that spot and said, hey, what's going on there. I'm like,
well, you know, it's nothing. It's just been like that for
(03:23):
a little while, and immediately theymoved into it just looked like a spot
that would be like a friction againstclothing or something you've just touched on.
Something that's so incredible. You didn'teven know you were going to the doctor
(03:44):
for an entirely different reason. Itreminded me of my brother in law,
my husband Randy's brother. He wastaking one of his kids to the doctor
to get looked at for poison ivy. The doctor took one looked at him,
one look at him and said,you don't look good to me.
I want to do some tests onyou. He ended up having leukemia.
So how weird. You know,that's when the whole universe comes together for
(04:05):
one particular reason. You were therefor a reason God sent you there.
I really believe that, Anne.Oh, I agree with that one hundred
percent. The type of cancer thatI've been diagnosed with they say is very
aggressive and spreads very quickly. However, my oncologist has looked through my entire
(04:26):
body, actually expecting to find more, and she has found nothing. Wow.
So it was caught so early,mainly because I really appreciate my horse
that I fell off of, becauseexactly I thought the first ye're saying I
kind of fell off the horse likeyou help people fall off the wagon.
I thought you were using it likeis it term? But you really did
legitimately fall off your literal force.So Anne, is it triple negative as
(04:51):
on they ask, or is itsomething else entirely if they were looking throughout
the rest of your body for it, it's her too positive h R two
positive. It's ah you, Iknow you. You mentioned triple negative.
You're usually positive in three of themand or negative in three of them.
(05:14):
I am positive in the last onethe h R so I'm negative negative positive.
What What has an experience been likegetting treatment? You know? So
fortunate to find this quickly because ofthe horse you fell off of what you
got that poured in the day afteryour diagnosis? Like? What did treatment
look like? What has it looklike? And where are you on the
(05:34):
treatment journey? Um? I amdoing chemotherapy. They said that I will
need four to six treatments of that. I've finished four and I'm going in
for an MRI to see where westand with the size of tumors, to
see if um I need two moreor not. But it's been it's been
(05:59):
a interesting to say the least.I I expected to be a lot sicker
than I am with it, soit Honestly, I'm feeling very grateful for
my reactions to it. However,it's it's hard. I don't call myself
a cancer survivor. I'm a cancertreatment survivor because I felt fine before I
got the treatment. Yeah. Yeah, well heck, you didn't even know
(06:20):
you had it. I've heard thatabout the treatment, and that's the thing
that I think. That's why Iwas saying hoping you were doing well,
because it can be rough. Whatare your treatment what's your treatment advice to
try to stay feeling good? Haveyou found the things that make you feel
good? Yeah? Absolutely. Afterthe first one, I kind of realized
what everybody's chemotherapy is different and uniqueto them. And after my first treatment,
(06:45):
we figured out what my biggest hurdleswill be physically with the chemotherapy,
and I've worked on combating those.So you know, for me, there's
a bit of about whole issue.I hate to say that out loud,
so working with the medications to regulatethat and I get tired very easily,
(07:08):
and knowing which day after chemotherapy I'mgoing to be the tiredest. It's just
a matter of figuring out how chemotherapypits you and learning what you need to
do to keep from having the worstof the symptoms. And you have spent
your entire career helping people get throughdifficult situations, physical situations, mental situations.
(07:34):
Has your background and being able tohave helped so many people in the
past, has that actually helped yougo through this right now? I think
in a way it has, namelybecause I've always told people, you are
not your diagnosis, do not internalizethat, do not consider yourself to be
(07:55):
that diagnosis. And I've really thoughtof that with myself. I'm not letting
us define me. I am notcancer. I happen to have some cancer
and it's going to be passing through, but I am not that. I'm
so glad that you're able to sharewith us. We're talking with Anne Hurst
of Open Arms Counseling about her cancertreatment journey, and we're going to keep
(08:18):
you around because we want to talkwith you about something else that impacts families.
You know a lot of families areimpacted obviously by a cancer diagnosis,
but loneliness. Loneliness has become anepidemic and I think it's leading to health
problems for folks. And I'm sureyou guys see that at the practice all
the time. Oh absolutely, absolutelyso. Can you hold on the line
(08:41):
and We're going to continue to havethat conversation with you on loneliness, and
also when we come back, Iwant to ask you how your husband is,
because I think when the initial patientgoes through cancer, it's one thing,
but then to watch our loved oneswatch us go through difficult times,
that's hard as well. So I'mkind of wondering what type of advice you
(09:03):
would give to him and other familymembers who have watched other family members go
through these things. Okay, wewill do that, and if you have
questions for Anne now, it's agreat time to be able to get your
call in six one four eight twoone nine eight eight six. That's six
one four eight two one. WTVN. Will continue our conversation after the break.
(09:24):
This is What Matters on six tenWTVN. That is true. It
is always darkest before the dawn.We are having a conversation that we wish
we didn't have to have with Annehurstof Open Arms Counseling. You guys know
Anne by now, she's been amonthly sponsor of our What Matters show really
since the beginning almost five years.MICHAELA, Yeah, truly really a supporter
(09:46):
of all we do in a supporterof all of you and your mental health.
Mandy has a couple other questions shewants to ask before we get into
the subject of loneliness with Anne andhow this has become an epidemic truly,
So, Mindy, go ahead.What were some of the questions you had?
Though? These were great? Soand as you were talking about being
diagnosed with breastcancer so surprisingly so aftershe fell off of her horse, she
(10:07):
went in and to get maybe treatmentfrom that fall. They find a spot
and they're like, hey, what'sgoing on here? She gets diagnosed with
breast cancer and is one person whoher and her staff have treated and helped
so many people going through difficulties.I just kind of want to know.
It is one thing when we gothrough times like this ourself, But and
what do you say to the familymembers and like, your husband helping you
(10:31):
through this? How's he doing?Oh? Well, well, I can't.
I've got to start this by sayingthat I am so blessed to have
the husband I do to go throughthis with me. He has been amazing
through the whole thing. I knowit hit him very, very hard.
His mother had cancer his entire lifebefore he was adopted because his mother was
(10:56):
diagnosed with lymphoma shortly after his momand got married. So his entire life,
his mom was in and out ofremission with lymphoma, and she didn't
pass until she was in her sixtiesand he was an adult. So when
I got my diagnosis, I swearhe really I could see the panic in
his face when we found out thatit was so super early. He was
(11:22):
calming down a lot. However,he has been a champion through this whole
thing. He has made little frozenmeals for me that he knew that would
set well in my stomach, andhe froze them all into the freezer.
He has done research online to findthe best ginger choose for me for when
(11:43):
I got nausea nauseaus He found theselittle nausea drops that will help with nausea
as well. He's been calling meto make sure I keep my medicine regime
right. He's been with me toevery single appointment, and I will tell
you that one of the best thingsa person can do, a loved one
(12:05):
can do when somebody's diagnosed is togo to the appointment and ask questions.
Because I when I got my diagnosis, I swear my brain just shut down.
All I heard was you have cancer, and I think everything after that
was a blur. And Dan satthere asking, Okay, what are our
treatment options? What are we goingto do? What is the meaning of
(12:26):
each treatment option? Where the sideeffects? He just had such great questions
for them. So he has beensuch a support. You know what,
I'm going to say this, andyou're lucky really. I mean, yeah,
you're diagnosed with breast cancer, butsometimes it goes through things. When
you go through things like this,you realize how lucky we are in life
(12:48):
and who we do have in ourcorner. And there was a reason you
two found one another. And Ithink it's just a beautiful thing. You're
very, very fortunate for that.And I would say that you're you're spot
on with that because when my momwas diagnosed with her sarcoma, I don't
even know if she cancer, what'sthat? But my sister and I were
with her, and you do askall those questions, what do you do
(13:11):
next? Where do we go fromhere? Yeah? Right? Yeah?
And I think the other thing thatI Okay, so losing your hair is
hard to do. Um, It'ssomething that never really thought about until it
happened, and by the time Ibecame completely bald, my husband looked at
me and smiled and said, youhave got the most beautiful scalps I have
(13:33):
ever seen. Oh my gosh,and we know you an you had a
long hair. Yeah, I know. So what are you doing? Are
you? We got to ask becausewe want to support you going bald?
Did you do a wig? Whatyou decide to do? I have got
wigs, yes, because you lovethat hair. We know it. So
I'm sitting to do the wigs havenames? I know some people name their
(13:56):
wigs. A couple of them do. One of them looks kind of like
my sister's hairstyle and color, soI called that the Janet wig. Well,
I think you should take two ofthem and named one Mikhaela, and
so you can think of us whenyou put on those wigs. You know,
we're so proud of you for havingthis open and very honest and very
real conversation with all of our WhatMatters listeners. I think it really hits
(14:20):
home for so many people. Andthen since we have you on the line,
we did want to talk about lonelinessbecause I'm not sure if you guys
know the numbers everyone listening. Onehundred and sixty two thousand Americans die every
year from loneliness and social isolation.That is greater than the number of Americans
who die each year from lung cancer. And that was put out by the
(14:41):
US government. It's shocking, soAnne, I think it's been the last
four weeks they declared there's an advisoryfrom the US Surge in General saying there
is an epidemic of loneliness and itcan increase that risk for premature death to
levels comparable to smoking fifth teen cigarettesa day. I mean, when you
(15:03):
look at this, there is thisincreased risk of heart disease, increased risk
of stroke, and then this fiftypercent increased risk of developing dementia. What
is happening and how can we startto combat some of this? What are
the solutions as we sit here andtalk on this Sunday afternoon. Oh well,
as far, I think that thisis something that is a spinoff of
(15:26):
COVID, and I mean this isjust my opinion, it's not you know,
but we isolated ourselves for a veryvery long time and then a lot
of people got away from being ableto be We are social creatures. We
are social beings, and we needto be in a social group with others
we thrive. Even the most introvertedhuman being on the planet still needs that
(15:52):
other persons in their life to keepthem from being lonely. And being isolated
and lonely is one of the worstthings in the world, one of the
best things. Even even being diagnosedwith the cancer, the first things they
ask is what is your social supportlike? And your prognosis is so much
better when you have a social supportthat's strong. Because of this, you
(16:15):
need other people in your life tocome back loneliness, to be there for
you to be social. And Ithink that we did a lot of this
with the COVID isolation. But Iwill say I think on top of COVID,
to both of you, our digitalenvironment is not good. Cod COVID
did some things, but on topof that, people stay on their devices
(16:38):
and they are unwilling to talk orput themselves out there for others. It's
because you get everything from the Google. Yeah, that is true. And
even shopping, you can order everythingonline and have it dropped off to you
don't have to go to a stopto even grocery shopping, you can order
your groceries and have them brought outto you. We need to do those
social skills a lot more. That'sa great point, MICHAELA. That is
(17:02):
a very good point. I actuallymy husband and I were out once and
we saw a young couple on adate and I literally they were texting each
other back and forth in the restaurant. They weren't speaking to each other.
Yeah, that's that's crazy to me, you know what. And it gets
to a point where we can feellonely at all different ages and stages in
our life. But when you doreach the elderly stage and a lot of
(17:22):
your family is gone and your friendsare gone, and you do suffer from
loneliness, what about And it soundsso simple, and it goes back to
me being that animal lover. Whatabout bringing an animal into your life that
has to help with some loneliness?Right in? Oh, it does absolutely.
There have been studies and I don'thave the numbers in front of me,
but having an animal in your lifedefinitely increases your life expectancy quite a
(17:48):
bit, and it increases your happinessquotient. They just make you happier,
calmer, anxiety reducer, having ananimal in your life, and I think
another thing is we need to beaware of our surroundings and the people in
it and identify people who might belonely and reach out to them. We
(18:08):
do, and we have to beemboldened to do so. And that goes
back to like getting out of ourcorner of the world. That's a little
screen. I mean, you know, talking to your neighbors. I've had
people who are like, who aremy neighbors? Why would I talk to
my neighbors? You guys, that'swhat we got to do. We have
to get out there and put ourselvesout there. I mean, I don't
(18:29):
understand how someone doesn't want to talkto their neighbor. It's so different than
when we were growing up, whereevery neighbor knew everybody. You knew the
mister and missus, you knew thekids, everybody knew everybody. It is
so not that way anymore. AndChuck Sailor is listening and he had two
comments for you. He is goingthrough his own cancer fight right now and
he lives alone. So he said, ay, Anne is right about the
(18:53):
treatment. That's the worst part ofall cancer. Now I'm on a new
treatment and it's the worst one.He's been through worse than the first treatment
he was on. And then healso said that things I do to fight
loneliness is to do things you havealways done, just in closer contact with
your family and say close contact withyour friends, because all those people love
(19:15):
you and they're pulling for you.So for you to realize that, it's
a huge statement of keeping loneliness atbay. Absolutely absolutely. We so appreciate
your insight always, and I'm soglad we got to talk to you today.
India's two for people who are lookingto talk about where they are with
(19:37):
whatever they're going through loneliness? Somethingelse? Do you guys have availability and
how people can How can people geta hold of your great staff. Oh,
we definitely have availability. We're alwaysthere for you and they can give
us a call at six one foursix two five seven one eight three or
just go on our website it's OpenArms Counseling dot com. And we appreciate
(20:00):
you so so very much and weare in the fight with you, that
is for sure. Thank you somuch. I really appreciate it. I
really appreciate your caller and my thoughtsare with him. Thanks Anne. This
is what matters. On six tenWTVN,
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