Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Open Arms Counseling. You know, we just thank the library
for being a big supporter of What Matters show. They've
really been with us for years, Mikayla. And here we
go again with another one of our most long time,
longest and lovingest if that's a word sponsors, is Anne
Hurst with Open Arms Counseling. And you know what we
are going to talk about being thankful before or after
(00:25):
we get to the political end that we need to
speak about too. But we are thankful for you too.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Anne.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
You've been a great supporter of this show.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
We see that you're there. Ann. Can you hear us
right now?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
I can hear you now. I'm going to tell you
how thankful I am for you. Guys.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Well, you make a difference in so many lives because
you know what adversity happens in everyone's lifetime and if
you don't have anyone to turn to, or maybe you
just don't have the right person to turn to, my gosh,
and the difference you've made in so many lives at
Open Arms Counseling is tremendous.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Thank you I am. It's not me, it's them. They
do it themselves. We give them tools and they take
it and run with it, and they do an amazing jobs.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
So last week Mikayla and I talked about it was
the week after the election, and we talked about just
the different avenues people are going down. Some people are
are so upset, other people are so joyous, And that's
always going to be the case with any type of competition.
And if you look at elections, that's really what it is.
It's competition. You win some, you lose some, right, Anne, Oh,
(01:37):
that's so true.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
You win some, you lose some. And I remember when
I'm you know, back in the day, you know, people
would disagree and then the election would happen and everybody
would be like, Okay, this is the way it is
now and for the next four years and everybody went
back to being friends and it was no problem. This
here seems to be a little different.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
What are what are you seeing? I mean, I have
some friends who are sad, who are disappointed, who voted
mostly Democrat. But what is it that you're seeing out there?
And I've seen this stuff on social media too, Yeah,
it's what do you see?
Speaker 2 (02:09):
The person that I'm noticing more than anything else my friends.
You know, I have a mixture of friends, and it
doesn't matter which way they voted. You know, some of
them are disappointed, as some of them aren't, and they
all say, okay, well, next four years we'll decide again.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
So some of the texts that I've seen, and I've
shared some of them with you, some of the sound
it's just brutally violent and uncalled for. And people take
a chance. And you are a professional and you have
a job to do, and you're putting something in writing,
don't you think your job is at stake and it
should be right inn.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Oh, absolutely, And everything that you put on the Internet,
it's going to get back to your bosses in some way,
shape or form, and it can very well affect your job.
We're seeing it happen now being interviewed where she threatened
to kill everybody who's voted for Trump, and she was
fired from her job, and now she's doing interviews saying
(03:09):
that she didn't really mean it. And you know, if
you put it out there, it's out there.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
You know. I want to say something real quickly on
the same lines of that. Donald Trump's granddaughter who spoke
at the RNC. Her name is Kai. She's a golfer.
She got to play golf in college. She just put
out a really sweet innocent tweet and she just put
Sundays with Grandpa being Donald Trump, and she put a
picture of her and her grandpa, of those two out
(03:37):
on the golf course. Someone took that sweet post and
I'm going to show it to Mikayla because it's such
a nasty, ugly retweet of this sweet innocent post that
a granddaughter made about Donald Trump, and it said, y'all
ugly pint bank bank. Hope someone puts a bullet in
your grandpa's head soon. Why how can you talk people
(03:58):
into real and before they make posts like that.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Well, I think that one of the biggest problems this
year is that politics stopped being just somebody that you
vote for and you know, policies that you agree with,
and turned into somehow being personalized, being if you voted
for the other person, then you did it to hurt
me personally.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
For some people, I think it did, and then I
don't know. This is hard for me because I don't
feel as connected to that and the social media just
to see how wrong that is.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Absolutely it's terrible, But we have created a society where
it is okay for the fringe on the far left
and the far right to say these things.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
And so that's why I'm just like peace out, Like
I don't need to be on social media. I know
friends who are leaving Twitter in droves. Oh it's bad.
On both sides of things is bad.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
I mean, look at Donald Trump getting shot at. You know,
there's an extreme I think.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
So here's what ends up happening. These algorithms create echo chambers.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Yes, that's true.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
So you see all the stuff that is this, and
this is terrible. What you just showed me is horrific.
And then I have other people in my life that
show me the other stuff about her and her followers.
And so that's what I'm saying, Like I people have
lost it over this election that I don't know, my
people that I care about, and my sphere of influence.
(05:35):
I can be who I am. I don't have to
go here because that makes me sick.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
I haven't seen anyone threatening lives though, of Democrats, I haven't,
And believe me, I look everywhere for everything because I
want to be fair when we have these discussions and
when it goes to that point where you're really threatening
someone's life, and then you're putting it in writing. My
point to you, Anne is how do you real yourself
in Sometimes we're all tempted to say things or to
(06:02):
write things, but you got to know better. So how
do you know the mental side of it that a
counselor can tell you. Don't go that far, you know,
be the better person. Think what you want to think.
But when you put it out there for the world
to see, you're doing yourself harm too.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Write Anne, Oh absolutely, And what I would suggest is
to take a beat before you put anything on the
internet or out there for the public to view. Write
it down in a journal first, and then wait a
couple of days, go back and read it and see
how it affects you. Read it as if you're the
person on the other side, and see how it makes
you feel. And if it's you know, negative in any way,
(06:40):
don't do it. And then secondly, I think that one
of the biggest problems is that people are catastrophizing. It's
the thought that the worst thing in the world is
going to happen. Because quite frankly, for a long time,
people are being told that the worst thing in the
world is going to happen. So taking a moment to
step back and do some research, and you know, this
(07:01):
is what I think is going to happen. Is it
really going to happen? And check into it.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
I've got one other thing to say, and don't post
after you've had a few drinks.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
The same thing that theyn't call people.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Don't don't people sometimes that alcohol gets the best of you. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
When I was growing up, everybody talked about don't drunk
dial So I think that's the same thing.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Don't drunk post, don't drunk post. So how are folks
going to deal with Thanksgiving?
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Do you think?
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Because you know, we're moving towards that in the next
week and a half. I did speak to someone who's
Thanksgiving plans.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Have changed because of the election.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Now they're not shaving their heads or anything mindy, but
like their Thanksgiving plans.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Have changed, they're still having sex with their husband.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
They are, Yes, yes, because that's the thing too. I mean,
I can't totally confirm that, but I think they are.
So what what are your advice to What is your
advice to families moving this direction in the next week
and a half.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
I think that Thanksgiving is one of the best times
for families to come together and take care of it,
get rid of all the baggage from the entire year,
and talk about how thankful they are for each other.
The family is going to be with you forever. And
if the only reason you're canceling your Thanksgiving plans to
be with your family is because of the election, then
(08:26):
I think you're making a huge mistake because this is
when you do need your family around you, and you
do need to remember, you know, these are my people
and even though we have different views, sometimes we still
love each other.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
So how would you suggest they behave Because some people
are really upset, others might want to be a little gloaty.
It's you know they want it's okay. So how do
you think they should approach Both sides of this equation
should approach the meal and the day.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
To be honest, my dad always told us to talk
about religion and politics in public.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yeah, but that's gone out the window. Oh, I know,
it has such a topic of conversation now.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I would suggest that at Thanksgiving there'd be some sort
of ground role that politics do not come into the conversation,
that you can talk about almost anything else the politics. No,
And then you know, remember you'll talk about when you're
growing up, or bring up some positive memories about each other.
Go around the table. Instead of saying something you're thankful for,
(09:30):
say something that you remember that you really appreciate about
the person sitting to your right or to your left,
and then just go around the table and do that.
Just reconnect.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
You know what. I'm just glad that my family, on
my husband's side and on my side, that we're all
in agreement. We're all on the same side politically, so
we can talk about whatever we want.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
To be honest, I think the members of my family
have different views than I do, but it's okay because
where are my family and I love them with all
my heart.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
I love what you said, and it makes so much
more sense. I saw another counselor on it was either
MSNBC or C and then I wasn't watching the channel,
but again it popped up through social media, and that
counselor said the complete opposite, and she said, oh, no,
it's okay. If you don't want to be around that
family member, then you cancel that Thanksgiving dinner, don't go.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
And you know, I think that's probably the worst advice ever,
because that is a great way to just separate yourself
from your family for the rest of your life.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
And that's why it made headlines around social media because
everyone was so caught off guard, like, that's not the
right thing.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Just follow the ground rule. If you have people with
mixed opinions on this, all right, like right, just be kind.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
We all want to live in a better America. And
we're all you know, we're all American.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Right, remember the golden rule, the way you would like
to be treated?
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Right, one other thing before we let you go. We
only have about a minute left here. But and what
about just telling people with thanksgiving right around the corner.
I think so many times we focus on jealousy and
we look at how other people are living their lives,
some things that they have in their life, some places
they get to go, always going out to dinner at
these fancy places, and then we concentrate on that instead
(11:14):
of realizing the things that we do have in our
life to be thankful for, even if they're just little.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Oh, I agree. I mean, one of the best things
in the world is to get yourself into a feeling
of gratitude. I heard once about a person and I
kind of followed along with it. They picked up a
pedal and put it in their pocket and they called
it their gratitude rock. And every time they put their
hand in their pocket and felt that, they thought of
something to be grateful for. And it just turned their
(11:45):
life around because they started to become more and more grateful,
and their lives became better and better as they did
because they stopped the negative thinking and they turned it
into a positive spiral. And I just think that's just
one of the greatest things in the world. Old if
you can just keep yourself into a place of gratitude.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Those little reminders, Yeah, I have to I have to
brag on Mindy for a second. I have one of
those little reminders in my car from her, and she
knows this and I've had it for what five years. Yeah,
it's a little love rock. She gave me love rock.
And so I think sometimes you know, when you're in
your car and you're like, it's right there in that
it's not my glove compartment, but that place can be important.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Change your garage door opener in those kinds of things,
does you put your groage door opener on your flip
flop at the top of your I don't.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
I don't know why okay, But when you dig in
there and you touch it and you see it, like
to have reminders about that. So I love that about
the gratitude because Mindy gave me that, and I think
it's it's a great thing.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
She thinks to herself. I'm so thankful to have Mindy
in my life, even though we argue sometimes that's okay, it.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
Is okay, It is okay. And where can people go to,
you know, get in touch with you and your therapists.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Oh, just give us a call at four one night.
I'm sorry six one four, six two five seven one
eight three, or go to our website at open Armscounseling
dot com. And I want to say you two are
a great example for those out there who have different
political views.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
Yeah, and we're not even totally opposite. Anne, you don't
even know that we can be opposite. But we're not
totally opposite.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
In fact, not everybody is totally opposite. But you show
how you can have different views, vote for different people,
and still come together and have great respect and caring
for each other.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
I know, because who you vote for should never decide
the person you are just shouldn't it true?
Speaker 3 (13:40):
It shouldn't you should be able to do whatever you
want to do so and thank you for some wise
words today, have a.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Great day, Happy early Thanksgiving.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
In This is What Matters on six ' en WTV.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
It