It Takes A Village

Mikaela tells us about how difficult it can be raising a teen. Mindy explains some places families can go this summer.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Okay, So I kind of envyMichaela for so many parts of life because
A She's organized and I'm not.B Because she has younger kids and I
miss the days that my kids wereyoung. I would take that back in
an instant, but maybe not somuch right now because Michaela has a teenager
now and I were in Those dayswere not the easiest. Maguela. You

(00:23):
know, and you know it's ateenager and mindy know he has ADHDS that
comes with its own complications. Wehave not had the easiest start to thirteen.
We have not this weekend, Iknow that. I know that.
So oh I thought you met ingeneral, like in this whole year.
I know, yeah, this wholeyear. That is true on top of
everything, but this weekend, youknow, you give and give and give

(00:46):
and give to your children for likea birthday, yes, and then the
sas and the like narcissism that theygive you back as a teenager, Like
that is the part I'm gonna havea problem with. Like all he cares
about is how his hair looks rightnow and the way that he combs it
and the way that he you know, the fluffy hair look. Yeah,

(01:07):
Oh that's all that he cares about, but can you put away my dishes?
Like, can you just help meout for a second. I think
the self centeredness is what I'm goingto have a real problem with. So
mom's, dad's, grandparents, aunts, uncles, anyone who is listening,
who has some advice for MICHAELA.Who's raised a teenager, who maybe you

(01:30):
were a teenager and you remember thoseyears and days and it isn't easy six
one four eight two one nine eighteight six six one four eight two one
nine eight eight six. You knowthere's a saying kill him with kindness,
but when you're a parent, thatdoesn't always work because you have to be
stern. You know, there's athing called tough love, and it's hard

(01:53):
to do as a mom, andit's hard to do as a dad,
but it's so important. Sometimes youjust got to lay down the law,
MICHAELA. I know, And Ilaid down the law this morning on the
way to church, like I waslecturing and they were serving, and we
got into a fight on the wayto church. Because this is live,
folks. I told somebody at churchthis happened on the way there too,
And you know, you do haveto I got in a fight because I

(02:15):
told him I was going to takeaway, speaking of digital devices, his
phone, and I was gonna gethim a flip phone for the summer because
I think our kids are wrapped upin this world that is not reality.
On these phones, they think it'sreality and when they need to put themselves
out there. So some things hadhappened. He hasn't been the kindest,
which I have a real problem with. And they think they can do everything

(02:36):
online. He's not bullying anybody,he's just not being very kind. And
do you notice it because you checkwhat he's doing online good all the time.
And so now he's angry at mebecause I'm going to get him a
flip phone this summer. He's soit's my problem, right, It's I'm
the bad guy because of that.And so I really thought. We went

(02:57):
to church today and you know they'resitting up there doing their things. And
the homily was really good because ittalked about how even when you're so frustrated
and disappointed with someone and you couldsay things like I'm going to give you
one more chance, or you failedme. Instead, Jesus said peace be
with you to the apostles who hadturned their backs on him before he was

(03:19):
crucified. Right like that biblical story, apply it to your own life.
How many times are you angry andupset about something and just want to but
get even and want revenge? Peacebe with you? And I need to
do more of that with Logan,and Logan needs to do more of that
with me. So did you havethat conversation on the way home from church?
We did? The message hit home. The message hit home, but

(03:44):
then he went home and like anyother teenager with no prefrontal lobe, he
forgot Well, kids also have veryshort memories. It looks like Dana's on
the line. Dana, do youhave some advice for raising a teenager a
teenage boy compared to a teenage girl. Is there a difference there, Dana?
Well, yes, it's hormonal.I'll tell you. If we would

(04:08):
have dare talked back to my motheror father or at a cost of face,
we would have gotten that they weregonna be if Angel bust about it,
if we didn't show respect, sowe got the backhand to the face
or our r ants got warmed up. And also when it comes to the
clothes she was talking about, shewould work, you know, if she
did her cloes four and dried them. She'd buy them up to us and

(04:30):
she put them in the basket.She says, you have one hour to
put these away, and if youdid not, sometimes she would take them
from us, make us buy themback from her, or she would take
them and dumping them in the middlewith four or pour our sheets back on
our bed and dumping them in themiddle of the bed. You know what
there, Dana. Kids were tougherthan I think kids. And I will
say it till I'm blue in theface, the mentality of kids these days.

(04:55):
They are softer. It's a softersociety. You can't do what you
used to do. No, ifwe talk back while that's a week um
inside, you can't go anywhere.And I would not beget him the phone
his little finger and it's not upto you an amount which I like,
you've got one. And I willsay this too, if you threatened to

(05:15):
do that, because a lot ofparents and I've caught myself doing this as
well, I'm gonna do this ifyou do this, and if I don't
do what I say, then I'mnot being very good parents. So Kayla,
if you say really that you're goingto take away the phone and give
them a day do it and wegot it. Okay, Dana, thank
you. We're so glad that you. Ryan's on the line with us.

(05:38):
Ryan High. Yes, teenager athome. Do you have one or have
you had one? My name isBrian. Oh, Brian, I'm sorry
about that. Go ahead, okay. Um. I'm a retired teacher and
I'll tell you I have no children, but I was a teenager. And
I don't mean this in any badway. I want to know how you're

(06:00):
son would feel about you talking aboutthese personal things on the radio and putting
his life out there. Well,we live a life. It's kind of
public, Brian, So I willsay that I'm making them more public.
Can I go? If my motherdid that, I would kill her.
O what, Brian? My kidstell me that all the time. They're
like, Mom, you're talking aboutus on the radio. I'm like,

(06:20):
yeah, but you know what.I get what you're saying. And if
my mother would have done that whenI was thirteen, I just said,
what are you doing? I wouldhave probably done the same thing. Yeah.
Well you know what. I willtell you this though, Brian,
we feel like having these open endedconversations maybe someone else is going through the
exact same situations, so we justtry to help people. I want the

(06:40):
kids to know son's perspective. Iget that because my kids say the exact
same thing to me, Mom,Why do you have to talk about everything
we do? I don't mean anythingand a great Memorial Day and no,
you're right, thank you. Brian. Yeah, I think it's a matter
of I don't think parents talk enoughabout the stuff that's happening behind closed door,
and all of a sudden you don'thave a support network that's able to

(07:02):
help you out with a few ofthese things. So Brian, yeah,
I do. I appreciate your perspectivefrom my son's perspective, but parents need
to be honest. I think toomany times you try to hide that they
we're having behavioral issues or don't feellike we can talk about it. And
this show that is what we are. We're here for folks to have the
conversation and to be honest about it. Unfortunately for our kids. We have

(07:25):
this show because we do talk aboutthings, but it really is to help
other people go through these same situations. Just sometimes it does probably seem,
like Brian said, at the expenseof our own kids. But I'll tell
you this too, Brian. Wealso celebrate their little victories in life because
we're all in this thing called life. We're learning from each other and when

(07:45):
we can have open conversations and hey, I thought that same thing. Oh
my gosh, they're talking about whathappened in our family. So it's really
our little way of helping. SoI've gotten a message for you, MICHAELA.
Yes, they said, if youreally do take the phone away,
maybe you could make a list ofthings that you want done and then he
could earn his phone back. ButI am serious about if you say you're

(08:09):
going to take it away, takeit away, take it away. And
we have and then he seems todo okay, bizarrely, and then you
know, then kind of gets backinto it before even gets it back.
So part of it is like,I don't I don't know what works.
And we've done a list that's agreat idea with points to call get out
of grounding. I don't think Itold you about this, and we did

(08:30):
this, mindy, but you gotone hundred points were doing this, the
three hundred points were doing that,and you had to get this maximum to
get out of grounding. That didnot work in my house either, So
I don't know. We're a workin progress. I love the thoughts.
Keep him coming, guys, andyou know, I it's gonna be tough,
buckle in. I know that allof you are with me on that,

(08:50):
and I think just you know,the honesty of it all and struggles.
I think it's important to have acommunity of people. I think you
have to have your tribe, andthis group is part of that. The
conversations that we have every Sunday area part of it. And the good
news about it is they aren't teenagersforever, thank goodness. Every little phase

(09:11):
and facet in life we go throughit, but then we've gotten to it,
and then you get over it,and just it's so funny to look
back and you just think of differentthings that each of our children went through
in life, and one little phaseis worse than the other, then it's
better than the other. It's allabout life and living it together as a
family. You'll get through it andLogan will be fine. But then be

(09:35):
careful because you know there's Christian rightbehind the ride, behind Logan and he's
watching every step by the way,and if Logan gets away with something.
Little brother's gonna want to get awaywith something as well. He's such a
rule follower. He gets upset whenLogan does the wrong thing. It does,
so I don't know, it mightbe different, it might be the
same. Tell me something good,though, Mandy, tell me about Tell

(09:56):
me where we should take these kidsthis summer. For another part of this
conversation, not really this conversation,but something that we wanted to do at
this hour, this time of theshow was Triple A came out with a
list because a lot of you arenow on summer break. My husband is
a teacher and he is working withattendance families trying to keep kids in school,
and they don't get out till nextweek. So I know some districts

(10:18):
are already out, Hilliard, Westerville, there's a ton that are already out.
So Triple A came up with thislist and it is things that you
need to do this summer. Andthey're kind of like not run of the
middle of things. Yet. It'sone thing to go swimming in a pool
or go swimming in the ocean.We all do that every summer. It
seems like, right They said,one of the top things you can do
is to swim in a watering hole, visit a national park. We have

(10:43):
so many Ohio. We did watcha movie in your car. Are there
still driving movies here in Ohio?I think isn't there one to the south
of the city. It still stillopen. I think it still does that
at least from time to time.Yeah, you got you got the list
right. Yeah, So listen tomusic outdoors. There's like two major festivals

(11:05):
here this weekend where people are spendingtheir entire weekend outdoors listening to music.
We definitely have a bunch. Goon an amusement park thrill ride, Mindy,
I know you love this one,and oh, just the joy,
the thrill of being on those rides. I am so glad that Ohio has
Cedar Point in King's Island. Thisis one of the things on Triple A's
list of top ten things to dothis summer. And think about it,

(11:26):
it almost takes you back to yourchildhood. Now, I will admit that
there are certain rides that I usedto absolutely love as kids. I can't
do it, can't do that anymore. My head. I'm like, oh
my gosh, what's that equilibrium thing? So you used to feel all can't
believe here it ago kind of ticksme offfterwards. Yeah, but that is
definitely a thrill. Ride can bringback memories of your childhood and it's just

(11:48):
fun. It's just f you andfun. Stroll on a boardwalk. There's
plenty to actually find, even inthe Midwest on some of these great lakes
that we have. Try a coolnew flavor, velvet ice cream. All
always coming up with summertime creations.I know they have some new things out.
And one of our favorite things bothbetween India and I is a good
state fair. Oh my gosh.And you've got so many to choose from.
I mean, think about there areeighty eight counties, all the counties,

(12:11):
and then they all have a countyfair and not just the state fair.
So there you go. And thenyou know what, MICHAELA, how
relaxing is it? And MICHAELA doesthis with her kayak lounge on a lake.
You know how many waterways they arethere are in the state of Ohio.
Fine one and chill lax. Yeah, it's so good for your mental
health and for everyone in your family. And then taking a ball game.

(12:35):
We've got so many great ballparks herein the state of Ohio. If you
think about it, close your eyesand think about a baseball game or a
softball game, and you know whatyou do. You hear the crack of
the bat and that sound is justawesome. Taste that hot dog, Well,
you don't taste that hot dogs.But we've got the Clippers, we
have the Reds, we have theIndians who are now the Guardians. There's

(12:56):
baseball games all over. Sit back, relax, some peanuts and take it
a game. Take it all in, you guys. It is a summer
that you have not created yet.So take some of the ideas run with
them starting next week. The unofficialstart of it all is tomorrow, and
we were so glad to spend sometime this Sunday with you. We'll be
back to wrap things up in justa minute. This is what matters on

(13:18):
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