I'm Fat and Trying to Find the Balance!

JLJ talks honestly about his weight gain! 

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
I am fat. I am f ing fat. And there's
times where I look in the mirror and I go,
how did that happen? Well, we know how it happened,
but you look in at the mirror and thinking how
did that happen? It feels sometimes like it just snuck
up on me, like oh, once I wasn't fat, and
now I'm fatting him and my whole life. I've gone

(00:25):
up and down and it comes to wait so that
the first time. Hi, I'm James lot Junior and this
is a lot of help with James lou Jr. Here
on JLJ Media and we're talking plainly and I know
one another video on another show, I said I was fat,
and I didn't reize how triggering it was for people,
triggering for them for me to call myself fat. That

(00:51):
I was like, that's interesting someone it was trouble, really sweet,
I get it, but they were like not liking the
fact I was calling myself fat. And I've said it
now like ten times out a beginn of this episode,
I like to dodge to share coach. I speak plainly,
which is how I am, and I see things on
it is I and I am, I see myself naked.

(01:13):
I know what's going on around, I know my health stuff.
I know what's going on, and I am overweight, and
the word fat just works. And why I say and
why I'm talking about this because I'm working on my
health right now. So that's why I'm talking about it.
Because as a person who is online, who chooses to

(01:34):
be online and be and whatever, it's even you see
so much out there everyone is telling you they're sort
of fat shaming. It's even funny. And my thought on
that is, you shouldn't do the best to love yourself
every step of the way, and you coming in, you
don't know where they are in their journey. They may

(01:55):
have been bigger and they're on their way. They've lost
weight on their way of losing. Maybe they're toning up,
maybe they're you know, they have a health issue. That's
because sometimes certain conditions, certain medications, things will bloat you up,
make you bigger, thyroid issues. You just never know what's
going on in someone's life. But they shouldn't hate themselves

(02:17):
because they're not like skinny or bone thin or gym
tone completely either. That's kind of now you should love
yourself stump of the way, and folks out there, let's
just be here. There are folks who like bigger folks
in the gay community as old bears, but I'm just
not even a straight community as they're people who are
like bigger, like meat on the bones and like they're
Nobody likes somebody skinny or chiseled like a rock god,

(02:41):
they might not ready wants that. By going back to
the online component, it is so interesting because you go online,
there'll be a million that's about someone show anyway. There'll
be a million lifestyle coaches and health coaches and fitness
coaches and who will tell you basically, everybody has their

(03:01):
own way of losing weight. There's million. There's a million
ways to lose weight obviously and be in shape, but
they will tell you the most extreme, either taking certain
products or you know, you get me at the gym
four hours a day, seven days a week. You gotta
be out there in a hundred degree sun, carrying, being
pacting and doing cold plunges. All this hard assuf are like,

(03:24):
and for me, I'm like, no, that is not for me.
Uh it was If it works for you, good for you.
But a lot of us like we don't need to
and we're not lazy because we don't want to do it,
or not being mad enough because we don't want to
do it. I've lost weight other ways. It's not doesn't
have to be that hard, Like just like in the
trenches literally sweating, you're awes. You know, you can put

(03:47):
in some work and movement, and I think, like this
the whole thing people movement. It's just your best is
your best bet period. But I'm out of I'm out
of health coaching, like time just saying when I see
I'm actually a licenss nurse and that's so I know
health stuff. But I'm just saying, like it's just funny
how online they'll present these extremes and then you want

(04:12):
Then people go, well, then why are all these bodybuilders
dying and finished influencers dying. They're all in shape and
they're dying, So there's something there too, and I think
that's that's the whole thing. It's like we've gone so
both sides now it's like either you should be finish
obsessed basically, or you're fat and you're just lazy. Know

(04:34):
when you're done. It's like, well it's not always there's
both obviously, but for the majority of us where is
the balance. That's why my name is. I want to
let them the title of this. I want to find
the balance. What's the balance. I don't want to go
to gym for five hours. I've got to the gym

(04:57):
for thirty minutes on our treadmill. Felt great afterwards. Make
sure I watched what I ate and I felt really
good that day. I don't have to go four or
five hours and you know that stuff they have to
do just to just so I can you know and
so and just so you know I am. I am
going to the doctor and I am working on some
ways to lose weight because because I don't like my

(05:18):
body right now. I don't like it. Shaving myself is
I don't like the way it looks. Something and change
it as we do. You don't like it, change it,
so I'm gonna change it. I'm not trying get skinny
to try and just lose. I need to lose like
one hundred pounds and that'll be good for me. And
that's why I was talking with my doctor, talking with
the nutrition as that kind of stuff. And what's funny
is I think for me because I was trying to

(05:41):
find balance going for walks on a regular basis being
in the garden doing stuff. I'm very active, and a
lot of us who are bigger are actually active. For me,
I don't have any heart issues. I don't have hard
time breathing. I don't. I ran three marathons my forties.
I mean, there's not that kind of stuff. My legs

(06:02):
feet are fine. It's my lower back and I did
do some back damage to my L four and L
five to bring years ago. That was crazy. So there's
part of that. But I know because I have the stomach,
I have mostly stumpy stomach. It's it's a lot of
weight to carry. So I know that my lower back
sometimes will give out. We'll give out if I go long.

(06:28):
I get I can take little breaks. We'll make sure
I wear a back brace or something just kind of
to keep me going because my legs are the inner fine,
and I went. I was in at Doupta last time.
I don't mind. My blood work came back basically normal.
I don't have pre diabetes. Sorry, folks, really got pre diabetes,
not diabetic. I don't have too many white blood cells

(06:50):
or red blood I mean everything. My blood cell counts
are fine. I am not I have a low I
think I have a low sodium and I have high
blood pressure. I have my pressure when I was skinny
and young too, So it's just something my family deals with.
But it's not but it's it's kind of under control.
There's things that I'm that I'm doing that my blood
work was like, Okay, you're fine. My doctor, because he's

(07:14):
a good doctor, was not. He was pleasantly surprised. I
just said, basically, he said to me, he goes, well, James,
you're ahead of a lot of people a lot of
people have to deal with wherever that I have no
thyroid issues at that. They're like, if you have to
deal with the other things first to get to losing
the weight, because for you just gotta lose weight. It's
a really fat like just chop it on and I

(07:35):
do a surgery and chop it all that kind of stuff.
But I am looking to other other options. I'm telling
sure they're healthy. So I'm just trying to like work
that out. But nobody I was like, that was good
to know because I don't really eat crazy and I
don't eat a lot all the time, like I just
I don't have a low sodium diet. I eat throughout

(07:56):
the day. There's times I don't even there's times I
don't even eat, mainly eat two meals a day. I
tell everyone's all want meal that I don't consume a
lot of it. I don't. I don't snack. I'm not
a snacker. I don't eat a lot of junk food.
I don't drink a lot of soda. Like, there's things
I just don't do anymore that I used to when
I was younger. The other things I can do, the
work you get older, he's just something to ticket. And

(08:17):
I cook a lot at home and make fresh stuff.
So I'm like, so I think I would have been
bigger if I had done that stuff. And I'm trying
to move around and walk and things like that, so
that is helping me, you know. So I think it's
just kind of it's you knows, there's a lot of
lot of misinformation about people who are big. Sometimes I've

(08:37):
seen big dancers big. You know, we see football by
the outum there there great. But I just don't want
people when we have to be careful when we look
online because we see everyone has these great bodies and
they're like, oh, it's so wonderful. But you see a
lot of them if they were just so I feel
I do feel bad. Where one of my friends was
to pressed for like a week because he gained five

(09:00):
pounds and he was like, I don't know how I
came to my house. I went to the gym. And
so they're watching everything they eat, everything, how they work out,
every cut and line. There's a lot of body dysmorphia out.
There's a lot of a lot of low self esteem.
People work out for many different reasons and trying to
maintain that and also being online too and showing it off.

(09:21):
And there's a lot that goes on to when you're
trying to stay in shape too, and it's like, where
is this the balance of just like I want to
be a good weight, I want to be half I
want to be halfway decent in shape and live a
long time. That's all this, That's that's all you want.
That's all I want. I'm able to have the foods
I want to eat here and there, if I can
on occasion and live my life against golden that's all

(09:43):
I want. It's all I want, you know. So that's
what that's what I'm working towards. And I think the
weight stuff is especially is a mental game also, so
trying to work at myself mentally at the same time.
I suggest that to all of you two out there,
so you're not alone to say, you know, it's it's

(10:06):
it happens. For me. I think it was a pandemic
because I was running around everywhere all the time, and
then everything stops and for about two years I didn't
go anywhere. So I think that's what started. I started
sitting at this desk and I'm just like working all
the time, and then we didn't go nowhere, and so
then when I started going back out, I think it
was too late. It was already had already had started,
the process had started. So I think it's just we

(10:28):
have these real conversations. I'll sharecoading stuff. They're trying to
explain it away or what I'm just like, you know,
it is. I probably just didn't do what I was
to be doing, and it happens. And not everybody's meant
to be skinny. It's just like that's just another one too.
Everybody's bodies are so made up differently. Everybody's meant to
be healthy, and you can find what that means. And

(10:50):
I's for me work with a doctor working with Nutritious.
If you want to get a coach or whatever, there's
a lot of them out there. Because I'm a big
coaching fan. I'm a coach myself. Veture coaches. Find someone
who I think always say, find someone who challenges you
but also has in alignment with you and how you
feel your values and and and wants and needs. Because

(11:16):
you don't want exactly a yes person, but you want
somebody who is close to what you want but will
push you when needed. That's that's that can be hard
to find, but you can find it. You guys can
find it. A lot of help dot com is me.
I'm a coach, but not for not for I'm a

(11:37):
coach for mind and and and office and media and
that kind of stuff. So you need help with that.
James Logia, so look at James Jr. Again. I'm on
LinkedIn and also a lot of health dot com. This
show is on. It is also on Facebook. Check us
out over there and I will see you next Tuesday
with another episode the show Right