February 4, 2025 • 20 mins
First time ever special! Talking about showing vulnerability as a Coach/Professional.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
I was trying to decide which logo I'm going to use.
This is a crossover event, so right now we're using
the super Organized logo because that's the that's the bigger
company of the two. But this is this SUS show,
a lot of help, crossover special. Hi. I'm James, a
(00:24):
super organizer and serve my life coach. I have never
done we have my coffee. I have never done across
over these two shows. That's what I said. I'm not never.
This show's been out how many years? But the other
one is about ten years. So I'm like, I don't
(00:46):
even step for my shirt. It's the opposite. It's a
mess today, a mess this morning. What is going on there?
I don't know what that is, but it's bugging me.
This actually fits into my show. This actually fits into
my show. If you're not watching this, it's hilarious. I'm
(01:08):
trying to get the spot off my top, my blouse.
I don't like it. I'm like, I'm gonna sit like this,
see vulnerability, that's this. I need even plan this. This
is what this show is kind of about. And the
lighting is not the greatest either. I'm like, I don't
know what I'm doing wrong today. That's a little better.
I guess I don't know what's going on, but welcome
to the show. And it's not it's not. It won't
(01:29):
be a normal sweat show or a normal A lot
of help show, a little bit of both. Because there's
one topic that I want to talk about that was
inspired by a coach talk about. I don't want to
talk about can you show emotion? Let's bigger than that.
The thing is as a coach, as an industry professional,
as a professional organizer, as someone people come to where
(01:54):
their lives are falling apart, can you show vulnerability and
share parts of your life this episode. I'm not going
to tell you yes or no. I'm not going to
tell you exactly what to do because it's very individual.
This is an individual as the person you're working with.
(02:15):
Its individual that you are, who you are, who you
are as a person. What you're branding is who you
are as a person. I think it's bucking bucking me.
It's it's I don't how to do that. There we go,
it's up to you. I'm gonna share a couple of
things with you though to whatever in in this topic
(02:36):
I usually I used to do. Thanks of gratitude for
like working on the show. So I was just supposed
to give thanks to gratitude to everybody out there who
watches my stuff or listens to it. I mean, who
am I? Who am I? Anyway? So okay, I was
watching it Coach this morning, friend of mine, who was
(02:59):
I love the pieces he will try to show share
a vulnerable post. He say, it's my vulnerable post and
shared with you. And I can tell even a sayspost
before when it comes to that. He shares parts personal
life throughout his branding as the Coach because he's about
changing your life after being a vetter of your veteran,
(03:20):
after change servy and stuff, and I can't even tell.
And for men it's always hard for us anyway, I
can tell he was having that, he was having a
hard time even in that, even in that vulnerable ability post,
he was still watching his words and watching what exactly
(03:42):
he was saying. And so that's what got me going, wow.
So it was kind of vulnerable, but in my opinion,
it kind of wasn't. It wasn't that deep, but it was.
But I could tell for a person, for a man,
and probably a person who was a cop, and it
was a veteran and is deep and for them, this
is the deepest they can they can share in public.
(04:05):
This person has shared things with me in private that
were deeper and more vulnerable, and so which of course
is a private obviously out that, So that maybe something
about the whole thing about what do you share as
a as a host for me, as an interviewer, as
a coach and everything? What do I share people in public?
(04:27):
Because as I'm listening to him, ky, but I'm still
doing this and I'm doing that, like well, it's like,
you don't have to justify your wins when you're being vulnerable.
And that's one thing I stand by. You can be vulnerable.
You can fall apart and be okay in falling apart
and having those emotions and feeling what you're feeling the time.
It makes you human. Nobody's robots. We're not robots. But
(04:49):
I get you're also trying to make money. It's a business,
so how far should you go? But I'll seeming like, oh,
he's a mess, Oh my god, I don't want to
how hire him? So I it's about that. One of
the things that I know for a fact, someone may
(05:11):
not hire you for a thousand brillion reasons. Don't even
know about your harry. Miiset of their brother. You know
they you know you look like their sister or whoever.
You don't even know why. It's like in Hollywood you
can get not hired because the babysitter, you know, as
a connection to the director like you, just you don't
know what's gonna happen. And I think you have to
(05:34):
kind of put out of your mind. There are some
folks who won't who will not hire you if you're vulnerable,
will not hire you if you share anything personal. They
want strict, strict boundaries. And so those folks that are
like that, and chances are you probably don't want them anyway.
You may think you want them is you want the
money and all this stuff, but maybe not want them.
That's not your kind of temperament. But I want them anyway.
(05:56):
But there are other folks who are waiting to hear
someone like you share a story. You look like them,
you sound like them, and they want to be with
someone who knows what it's like to walk in their shoes.
I've had both it works. I mean, I've had strictly professional,
very you know, corporate, but I also I've had where
(06:18):
I'm holding their hand while they're crying and I'm crying too.
I have both sides of it, and it all depends
on the client, of course. But it's like you can
you can have, you can have. There's there are all
people out there who may come to you. Make it
business because you're vulnerable. Now, I'm a person who does
verbal diarrhea or it tells on my business online. I mean,
I do curate what I tell too, but there are
(06:40):
times when I said, yes, I'm my house is messy
right now. I think I did a video on that one.
So my house is a mess, like right now because
I'm in the middle, in the middle of I had
a big project with ABC Disney thank you very much,
as an organizer, and I was I was. That project
took like to two and a half months, so I
was literally out of town New York. I was busy.
(07:01):
So my house I started a project before I you know,
before I left. So I'm gonna do this's a mess
right Here's a mess. The rest of house is clean
over here, but it's a mess right here. I gotta clean.
I'm in the process of working all this. Some of
this stuff is Christmas presents because I wasn't here for Christmas.
(07:23):
I gotta package it up. So I'm working on this
area here. It's it's a mess, like I got to
pack out. It's a mess. I'm getting there. I'm being vulnerable.
I'm showing you I'm not always on top of it.
I mean, it's it's organ it's actually organized in a
weird way. Also, I know how to get to everything,
but there are times where I get su'er busy and
(07:45):
I can't get to you. I can't always think on
t I'm my superhero. But for a person that's video,
I'll leave it down. Ship, I'm gonna leave my mess
behind me down I was gonna leave I'm gonna leave
it up like that. I'm not want to be vulnerable
and it's me. So there's me at three years old
on this episode. I believe it. I'm gon leave it out.
(08:09):
But there's there's people who are looking for you to
be vulnerable, Saken. They go, okay, I like that. The
person I know. For example, there was another fellow organizer
of mine, Like I'm not gonna say names of people,
but just she's she's wonderful and a while back she
was going through a personal tragedy actually, and her and
her siblings had to clean up the house and then
(08:31):
sell it our stuff. So she actually documented all that,
and she was crying through the whole thing, and it
was like, I actually loved it very much. Not loving
or going through it, clearly not, but the fact that
she was being vulnerable and showing the different stages of
what goes on. And there was a great conclusion at
the actually went to the whole thing, and it was
a great conclusion at the end. So it shows you
(08:54):
she showed a middle, beginning, middle, and end of their story.
But it was this piracial all it was like and aspirational.
It was both so that if you go through it,
and you're like, well she went through it, I'm gonna
go through I'm gonna make make sure I can go
through it too, so you kind of like So she
showed there was there was I don't want to say
happy ending because it's still a sad the loss, but
(09:15):
there was an ending that was we walked through it,
we accomplished what we accomplished. Now we can move on
to our next step in our lives. Uh. And but
she showed how she did that, and I thought that
was brilliant. Actually, I was watching the videos every day
and feeling for at the same time. I think that
was I that's why that when I say in this video,
(09:37):
I'm gonna tell you exactly how vulnerable you should be
or what the lives aren't it just depends. Read the room,
be president. Those are two things I will tell you,
and you might know what how far to go, how
far not to go. I know I had a client
who lost a child. They had two other kids who
(09:57):
lost a child. But then we found that child's stuff.
The child had been born and died after I was born,
and we had to stop for a second. Now that
I always go first, you need to time some time alone,
you need to be alone for a second. I'll go
to the room for something else. She's like, no, she
want to talk about the child. And I was like, yes,
let's talk about let's talk about your your this case
(10:18):
with a daughter. And we talked about it and she
she got teary eyed. I got here, I have children,
I have daughters. I could not imagine losing a child.
But I don't even know what that. I hope, I
never hope, I never lived that. We cried together, but
One of the things I was very mindful was that
it was another make it about me. That's what you
(10:40):
can do. We cared. Don't be all, oh, oh my god,
it's horrible, oh my god, in my life and I'm
like my children, No, don't do all that. It's still
about them, So still redirected to them. And but I
did show empathy. Empathy is fine, Compassion is fine, race,
sin is why you show all that stuff. And it's
(11:02):
okay to do that. And so that's what I did.
So I found. I found you'll know in the moment,
how far you if you really listen and pay attention,
I said, to read the room, you'll know how far
how less you can go. On the flip side of that,
I've had clients beat themselves up. I'm such a dork.
I'm such a mess. I'm such a desk. I never
co sign that. Never, never, never, never. I'm not like, girl,
(11:24):
you are a mess ship. You're like, what the fuck
I don't I don't do all that. We don't do that.
You're not co signed even with somethingprecation or I don't
co sign it. I usually try to return, we rephrase
the words, turn the words around. Girl. Everybody you know,
everybody's a mess. Everybody thinks they're a mess. You're okay,
(11:45):
you know, I just I just do I do that.
I just I do that because I said to be like, yeah,
you are a bitch, you are a big bitch. Oh
my god, oh my god, it's a gross How did
you get this to yourself? I will never do shaming.
And I think in some coaching styles I've seen, they're
(12:06):
about shame because they shame you, that makes you. You'll
get out of it outside shame. To me, that never works.
I fot I just right. Here's a little side note.
Tough love is one thing, being tough is another. But
I know shaming of bullying somebody to change. Okay, so
(12:29):
they lose to eight hundred pounds. But then when they
drop you because they they've got their weight, they're done
and they go out their business, they gain two pounds,
they fall apart, or they get dah. Now they can't
renation as anybody else because now that people are either
too soft and they find people who just like you.
Now they're they're addicted to the bullying and they go, no,
(12:51):
we don't do all that. No, I don't. I don't
like that. I think I think shaming. We all get
where we get. I got here just because where I'm
at here because I was super busy. I was working
long hours, manual labor, brain labor. I was like, I
was tired. I have time to come home and organize
my ship. I'm time for that. I was like, it's
(13:12):
over here. I have a big I'm a big, huge
giving room. So I'm like, it's over here in the corner.
I'll get I hate looking at it, but I'll get
you it. And but for me, time going to bed
or the meantime, I'm gonna go see my see my family.
I have to carry my mom. Like there's other things
I gotta do. I'm like, just they there's just priorities. Luckily,
there's a place all this is a place for all
that stuff. It's down back in town. And and now
(13:38):
I'm focusing on actually that that whole thing has gotten
better than it was I was. I've thrown the stuff out,
you the whole thing. But also I'm working at my house,
so it's gonna be in some disarray at some point.
I have tiles being put in, I have ceiling that's
coming apart, I have a new bed. I just had
a new couch, like there's gonna be stuff laying around
(13:58):
until you, you know, you clear it up. So I
was like, I gotta let it go. And I don't
like it as much as either I like looking at it.
I was will cover it all up like it's temporary.
And one of the things that's great about me because
I'm an organizer, it won't be there for long. I
used to be gone probably in a week, this week,
will be gone in pight be gone tomorrow, who knows.
(14:19):
But my whole thing is I know I'm ready. I
also have system apply. I know where this stuff goes.
I have systems in place to where it goes. So
stuff goes out. So I'm staying in. Someone's being thrown out.
It's all good. I just got five a time to
sit down work on it, and once I do, I'm
I'm in the zone I'm in, it'll be done. And
that's kind of the thing about organization is that and mindset.
(14:43):
Hence why I'm doing this to show on both both shows.
Your mindset will be I will get to it and
I'm gonna get take care of it. But right now
I can't. That's fine, But that's being vulnerable. Yeah, you'll
you'll know when you know when someone you need to
kind of pull back a little bit. For me personally,
(15:05):
I said online especially, I don't or even do these
videos and these shows, I don't reveal a lot. I
feel some stuff and it's it is curated mostly for learning.
But I have cried on here. I have laughed uncontrollably
on here. I have gotten silent on here. I have
(15:28):
run about that. I've done it. I've done it all
on the show. And another show is too when the
mood calls right, so and so. And for me, I
have no ship. I don't like seeing myself crime TV,
but I have no shame about it. If I feel
touched about something and the emotion erupts, it's going to run.
And it hasn't hurt me in my business, you know,
(15:51):
it's it's one of those things that you know, or
maybe it has I don't know right. Maybe maybe there's
people who don't take it. I don't know. But for me,
I'm busy. That's not a flex to be bragging. Anybody
was saying for us out there, don't worry so much
about that. But maybe some and for some of you,
it's total separate. I don't share any of my personal life.
(16:13):
I had a co host once. It was a co
host when I was just sign team on my TV shows.
She didn't let anybody know she was married or had kid.
I thought it was weird, but that's just me. When
we were on a show called we were hosting a
show called Shark Tank. You've heard that, So a little
show called Shark Tank. I used to host the after
(16:33):
show for it after bu CV and we have four people,
so we wanted, you know, different people deliberately on the
panel because we were commenting on the products. And it
was weird for me because myself and her both have kids.
I kept thinking, oh great, so when it comes to
the kid products of baby products, she'll have one point
(16:56):
of view being a mother, album would be a father. Nope.
She did everything she can to disassociate that, and it's
come as a regular person, so to speak, where I
was like, well, my kids blah blah blah. So I
I you know so, but that was her choice. That's
her choice as a host. She wanted to go back direction,
so there you go. And I was like, Okay, I
(17:18):
guess you can't choose how you want to hear in public.
I said, for me, I don't post every singing, every
second of every day of my life. I don't tell
anybody about my business. But there are times when something
goes down, like my mother was signals died. I share
that my mother's a hoarder. I've shared that it's not secrets,
but he determined to try to into a life lesson
(17:38):
of some sort. But I think that especially for men
in my business, in our business, you want to you
we are fixers. Men are fixers. We don't want to
wallow on our griefs. We just are whatever we have
to do, we just want to fix it. We want
to show you we're strong and that we can just
handle anything. So to show any kind of weakness, of
(18:02):
vulnerability or perceived weakness, to say it's just tough for us,
We're just not told. I taught to share all of
our feelings. So I'm just encouraging my fellow coaches and
male professional organizers to really open yourself up, find what's
comfortable in with it, and now I can help you
with that. I can help you with for sure. If
you need some help with that, I have a session
(18:24):
you can take with me and we can my A
lot of help is my lot of help A lot
of help dot com. I can contact me and I
can actually sit down with you for our session and
we can work that out on how just on how
to work out what's vulnerable can work for you what
you want to share, because there could be clients you're
missing out on because you're not vulnerable, because you're too
(18:45):
I don't think. I don't think anybody wants someone who
seems perfect, that's the bottom line. They don't want somebody
who's who seems like a loser either. But I don't
know anybody it seems you seem too perfect. That's not you.
I will never look up to my coach. I don't
know to that. I will never live up to the
(19:06):
standard because I already have my own standards. I'm not
lived up to those. They have standards to those. I
mean that I came my coach. So you have to
really think about that. I go, I don't think I
should do that may not be the right thing to do.
By encourage, encourage, show some vulnerability every once in a while.
(19:26):
Riasms me all the time, but every once in a while,
show that you are a human being and not a robot.
That you have feelings and emotions, but also you can
also show people how you've mastered them and how they
worked for you and how they can work for other people.
That's why a lot of coaches have coaches, a lot
of mentors should have a mentor, a lot of therapists
(19:47):
have a therapist. I guess it's one of those things
that we should all just to make the world go around,
just you know, circulate and make the world go around.
So I want to tell you that I do have
I actually have notes for another show. That's what I'm
wanting to do. I'll do that and be on pay
next week. But I'm glad. I'm glad I talked about it.
I love getting ideas from my colleague. Sometimes again, I'll
(20:10):
see something they post or talk about and it inspires
me when to talk about you guys out there, because
I'm here. I'm here to help. That's that's where That's
where the SRS Show is a lot of help, here
to help. I'm for hire virtually in person this matter.
I'm for hire. Please check me out at a lot
of heelp dot com, the Spress Show both are all
(20:32):
I have all the pages on Facebook. So the s
SS Show, The Super Organizer a lot of help. They're
on Facebook, The s RS Show, s U s Underscore
Show on x the super O on x U. Be
out there too, or just James un if you just
want to go James Jr. I'm not every week everywhere.
(20:52):
Have a good week, be careful out there and I'll
see you next time.
I was trying to decide which logo I'm going to use.
This is a crossover event, so right now we're using
the super Organized logo because that's the that's the bigger
company of the two. But this is this SUS show,
a lot of help, crossover special. Hi. I'm James, a
(00:24):
super organizer and serve my life coach. I have never
done we have my coffee. I have never done across
over these two shows. That's what I said. I'm not never.
This show's been out how many years? But the other
one is about ten years. So I'm like, I don't
(00:46):
even step for my shirt. It's the opposite. It's a
mess today, a mess this morning. What is going on there?
I don't know what that is, but it's bugging me.
This actually fits into my show. This actually fits into
my show. If you're not watching this, it's hilarious. I'm
(01:08):
trying to get the spot off my top, my blouse.
I don't like it. I'm like, I'm gonna sit like this,
see vulnerability, that's this. I need even plan this. This
is what this show is kind of about. And the
lighting is not the greatest either. I'm like, I don't
know what I'm doing wrong today. That's a little better.
I guess I don't know what's going on, but welcome
to the show. And it's not it's not. It won't
(01:29):
be a normal sweat show or a normal A lot
of help show, a little bit of both. Because there's
one topic that I want to talk about that was
inspired by a coach talk about. I don't want to
talk about can you show emotion? Let's bigger than that.
The thing is as a coach, as an industry professional,
as a professional organizer, as someone people come to where
(01:54):
their lives are falling apart, can you show vulnerability and
share parts of your life this episode. I'm not going
to tell you yes or no. I'm not going to
tell you exactly what to do because it's very individual.
This is an individual as the person you're working with.
(02:15):
Its individual that you are, who you are, who you
are as a person. What you're branding is who you
are as a person. I think it's bucking bucking me.
It's it's I don't how to do that. There we go,
it's up to you. I'm gonna share a couple of
things with you though to whatever in in this topic
(02:36):
I usually I used to do. Thanks of gratitude for
like working on the show. So I was just supposed
to give thanks to gratitude to everybody out there who
watches my stuff or listens to it. I mean, who
am I? Who am I? Anyway? So okay, I was
watching it Coach this morning, friend of mine, who was
(02:59):
I love the pieces he will try to show share
a vulnerable post. He say, it's my vulnerable post and
shared with you. And I can tell even a sayspost
before when it comes to that. He shares parts personal
life throughout his branding as the Coach because he's about
changing your life after being a vetter of your veteran,
(03:20):
after change servy and stuff, and I can't even tell.
And for men it's always hard for us anyway, I
can tell he was having that, he was having a
hard time even in that, even in that vulnerable ability post,
he was still watching his words and watching what exactly
(03:42):
he was saying. And so that's what got me going, wow.
So it was kind of vulnerable, but in my opinion,
it kind of wasn't. It wasn't that deep, but it was.
But I could tell for a person, for a man,
and probably a person who was a cop, and it
was a veteran and is deep and for them, this
is the deepest they can they can share in public.
(04:05):
This person has shared things with me in private that
were deeper and more vulnerable, and so which of course
is a private obviously out that, So that maybe something
about the whole thing about what do you share as
a as a host for me, as an interviewer, as
a coach and everything? What do I share people in public?
(04:27):
Because as I'm listening to him, ky, but I'm still
doing this and I'm doing that, like well, it's like,
you don't have to justify your wins when you're being vulnerable.
And that's one thing I stand by. You can be vulnerable.
You can fall apart and be okay in falling apart
and having those emotions and feeling what you're feeling the time.
It makes you human. Nobody's robots. We're not robots. But
(04:49):
I get you're also trying to make money. It's a business,
so how far should you go? But I'll seeming like, oh,
he's a mess, Oh my god, I don't want to
how hire him? So I it's about that. One of
the things that I know for a fact, someone may
(05:11):
not hire you for a thousand brillion reasons. Don't even
know about your harry. Miiset of their brother. You know
they you know you look like their sister or whoever.
You don't even know why. It's like in Hollywood you
can get not hired because the babysitter, you know, as
a connection to the director like you, just you don't
know what's gonna happen. And I think you have to
(05:34):
kind of put out of your mind. There are some
folks who won't who will not hire you if you're vulnerable,
will not hire you if you share anything personal. They
want strict, strict boundaries. And so those folks that are
like that, and chances are you probably don't want them anyway.
You may think you want them is you want the
money and all this stuff, but maybe not want them.
That's not your kind of temperament. But I want them anyway.
(05:56):
But there are other folks who are waiting to hear
someone like you share a story. You look like them,
you sound like them, and they want to be with
someone who knows what it's like to walk in their shoes.
I've had both it works. I mean, I've had strictly professional,
very you know, corporate, but I also I've had where
(06:18):
I'm holding their hand while they're crying and I'm crying too.
I have both sides of it, and it all depends
on the client, of course. But it's like you can
you can have, you can have. There's there are all
people out there who may come to you. Make it
business because you're vulnerable. Now, I'm a person who does
verbal diarrhea or it tells on my business online. I mean,
I do curate what I tell too, but there are
(06:40):
times when I said, yes, I'm my house is messy
right now. I think I did a video on that one.
So my house is a mess, like right now because
I'm in the middle, in the middle of I had
a big project with ABC Disney thank you very much,
as an organizer, and I was I was. That project
took like to two and a half months, so I
was literally out of town New York. I was busy.
(07:01):
So my house I started a project before I you know,
before I left. So I'm gonna do this's a mess
right Here's a mess. The rest of house is clean
over here, but it's a mess right here. I gotta clean.
I'm in the process of working all this. Some of
this stuff is Christmas presents because I wasn't here for Christmas.
(07:23):
I gotta package it up. So I'm working on this
area here. It's it's a mess, like I got to
pack out. It's a mess. I'm getting there. I'm being vulnerable.
I'm showing you I'm not always on top of it.
I mean, it's it's organ it's actually organized in a
weird way. Also, I know how to get to everything,
but there are times where I get su'er busy and
(07:45):
I can't get to you. I can't always think on
t I'm my superhero. But for a person that's video,
I'll leave it down. Ship, I'm gonna leave my mess
behind me down I was gonna leave I'm gonna leave
it up like that. I'm not want to be vulnerable
and it's me. So there's me at three years old
on this episode. I believe it. I'm gon leave it out.
(08:09):
But there's there's people who are looking for you to
be vulnerable, Saken. They go, okay, I like that. The
person I know. For example, there was another fellow organizer
of mine, Like I'm not gonna say names of people,
but just she's she's wonderful and a while back she
was going through a personal tragedy actually, and her and
her siblings had to clean up the house and then
(08:31):
sell it our stuff. So she actually documented all that,
and she was crying through the whole thing, and it
was like, I actually loved it very much. Not loving
or going through it, clearly not, but the fact that
she was being vulnerable and showing the different stages of
what goes on. And there was a great conclusion at
the actually went to the whole thing, and it was
a great conclusion at the end. So it shows you
(08:54):
she showed a middle, beginning, middle, and end of their story.
But it was this piracial all it was like and aspirational.
It was both so that if you go through it,
and you're like, well she went through it, I'm gonna
go through I'm gonna make make sure I can go
through it too, so you kind of like So she
showed there was there was I don't want to say
happy ending because it's still a sad the loss, but
(09:15):
there was an ending that was we walked through it,
we accomplished what we accomplished. Now we can move on
to our next step in our lives. Uh. And but
she showed how she did that, and I thought that
was brilliant. Actually, I was watching the videos every day
and feeling for at the same time. I think that
was I that's why that when I say in this video,
(09:37):
I'm gonna tell you exactly how vulnerable you should be
or what the lives aren't it just depends. Read the room,
be president. Those are two things I will tell you,
and you might know what how far to go, how
far not to go. I know I had a client
who lost a child. They had two other kids who
(09:57):
lost a child. But then we found that child's stuff.
The child had been born and died after I was born,
and we had to stop for a second. Now that
I always go first, you need to time some time alone,
you need to be alone for a second. I'll go
to the room for something else. She's like, no, she
want to talk about the child. And I was like, yes,
let's talk about let's talk about your your this case
(10:18):
with a daughter. And we talked about it and she
she got teary eyed. I got here, I have children,
I have daughters. I could not imagine losing a child.
But I don't even know what that. I hope, I
never hope, I never lived that. We cried together, but
One of the things I was very mindful was that
it was another make it about me. That's what you
(10:40):
can do. We cared. Don't be all, oh, oh my god,
it's horrible, oh my god, in my life and I'm
like my children, No, don't do all that. It's still
about them, So still redirected to them. And but I
did show empathy. Empathy is fine, Compassion is fine, race,
sin is why you show all that stuff. And it's
(11:02):
okay to do that. And so that's what I did.
So I found. I found you'll know in the moment,
how far you if you really listen and pay attention,
I said, to read the room, you'll know how far
how less you can go. On the flip side of that,
I've had clients beat themselves up. I'm such a dork.
I'm such a mess. I'm such a desk. I never
co sign that. Never, never, never, never. I'm not like, girl,
(11:24):
you are a mess ship. You're like, what the fuck
I don't I don't do all that. We don't do that.
You're not co signed even with somethingprecation or I don't
co sign it. I usually try to return, we rephrase
the words, turn the words around. Girl. Everybody you know,
everybody's a mess. Everybody thinks they're a mess. You're okay,
(11:45):
you know, I just I just do I do that.
I just I do that because I said to be like, yeah,
you are a bitch, you are a big bitch. Oh
my god, oh my god, it's a gross How did
you get this to yourself? I will never do shaming.
And I think in some coaching styles I've seen, they're
(12:06):
about shame because they shame you, that makes you. You'll
get out of it outside shame. To me, that never works.
I fot I just right. Here's a little side note.
Tough love is one thing, being tough is another. But
I know shaming of bullying somebody to change. Okay, so
(12:29):
they lose to eight hundred pounds. But then when they
drop you because they they've got their weight, they're done
and they go out their business, they gain two pounds,
they fall apart, or they get dah. Now they can't
renation as anybody else because now that people are either
too soft and they find people who just like you.
Now they're they're addicted to the bullying and they go, no,
(12:51):
we don't do all that. No, I don't. I don't
like that. I think I think shaming. We all get
where we get. I got here just because where I'm
at here because I was super busy. I was working
long hours, manual labor, brain labor. I was like, I
was tired. I have time to come home and organize
my ship. I'm time for that. I was like, it's
(13:12):
over here. I have a big I'm a big, huge
giving room. So I'm like, it's over here in the corner.
I'll get I hate looking at it, but I'll get
you it. And but for me, time going to bed
or the meantime, I'm gonna go see my see my family.
I have to carry my mom. Like there's other things
I gotta do. I'm like, just they there's just priorities. Luckily,
there's a place all this is a place for all
that stuff. It's down back in town. And and now
(13:38):
I'm focusing on actually that that whole thing has gotten
better than it was I was. I've thrown the stuff out,
you the whole thing. But also I'm working at my house,
so it's gonna be in some disarray at some point.
I have tiles being put in, I have ceiling that's
coming apart, I have a new bed. I just had
a new couch, like there's gonna be stuff laying around
(13:58):
until you, you know, you clear it up. So I
was like, I gotta let it go. And I don't
like it as much as either I like looking at it.
I was will cover it all up like it's temporary.
And one of the things that's great about me because
I'm an organizer, it won't be there for long. I
used to be gone probably in a week, this week,
will be gone in pight be gone tomorrow, who knows.
(14:19):
But my whole thing is I know I'm ready. I
also have system apply. I know where this stuff goes.
I have systems in place to where it goes. So
stuff goes out. So I'm staying in. Someone's being thrown out.
It's all good. I just got five a time to
sit down work on it, and once I do, I'm
I'm in the zone I'm in, it'll be done. And
that's kind of the thing about organization is that and mindset.
(14:43):
Hence why I'm doing this to show on both both shows.
Your mindset will be I will get to it and
I'm gonna get take care of it. But right now
I can't. That's fine, But that's being vulnerable. Yeah, you'll
you'll know when you know when someone you need to
kind of pull back a little bit. For me personally,
(15:05):
I said online especially, I don't or even do these
videos and these shows, I don't reveal a lot. I
feel some stuff and it's it is curated mostly for learning.
But I have cried on here. I have laughed uncontrollably
on here. I have gotten silent on here. I have
(15:28):
run about that. I've done it. I've done it all
on the show. And another show is too when the
mood calls right, so and so. And for me, I
have no ship. I don't like seeing myself crime TV,
but I have no shame about it. If I feel
touched about something and the emotion erupts, it's going to run.
And it hasn't hurt me in my business, you know,
(15:51):
it's it's one of those things that you know, or
maybe it has I don't know right. Maybe maybe there's
people who don't take it. I don't know. But for me,
I'm busy. That's not a flex to be bragging. Anybody
was saying for us out there, don't worry so much
about that. But maybe some and for some of you,
it's total separate. I don't share any of my personal life.
(16:13):
I had a co host once. It was a co
host when I was just sign team on my TV shows.
She didn't let anybody know she was married or had kid.
I thought it was weird, but that's just me. When
we were on a show called we were hosting a
show called Shark Tank. You've heard that, So a little
show called Shark Tank. I used to host the after
(16:33):
show for it after bu CV and we have four people,
so we wanted, you know, different people deliberately on the
panel because we were commenting on the products. And it
was weird for me because myself and her both have kids.
I kept thinking, oh great, so when it comes to
the kid products of baby products, she'll have one point
(16:56):
of view being a mother, album would be a father. Nope.
She did everything she can to disassociate that, and it's
come as a regular person, so to speak, where I
was like, well, my kids blah blah blah. So I
I you know so, but that was her choice. That's
her choice as a host. She wanted to go back direction,
so there you go. And I was like, Okay, I
(17:18):
guess you can't choose how you want to hear in public.
I said, for me, I don't post every singing, every
second of every day of my life. I don't tell
anybody about my business. But there are times when something
goes down, like my mother was signals died. I share
that my mother's a hoarder. I've shared that it's not secrets,
but he determined to try to into a life lesson
(17:38):
of some sort. But I think that especially for men
in my business, in our business, you want to you
we are fixers. Men are fixers. We don't want to
wallow on our griefs. We just are whatever we have
to do, we just want to fix it. We want
to show you we're strong and that we can just
handle anything. So to show any kind of weakness, of
(18:02):
vulnerability or perceived weakness, to say it's just tough for us,
We're just not told. I taught to share all of
our feelings. So I'm just encouraging my fellow coaches and
male professional organizers to really open yourself up, find what's
comfortable in with it, and now I can help you
with that. I can help you with for sure. If
you need some help with that, I have a session
(18:24):
you can take with me and we can my A
lot of help is my lot of help A lot
of help dot com. I can contact me and I
can actually sit down with you for our session and
we can work that out on how just on how
to work out what's vulnerable can work for you what
you want to share, because there could be clients you're
missing out on because you're not vulnerable, because you're too
(18:45):
I don't think. I don't think anybody wants someone who
seems perfect, that's the bottom line. They don't want somebody
who's who seems like a loser either. But I don't
know anybody it seems you seem too perfect. That's not you.
I will never look up to my coach. I don't
know to that. I will never live up to the
(19:06):
standard because I already have my own standards. I'm not
lived up to those. They have standards to those. I
mean that I came my coach. So you have to
really think about that. I go, I don't think I
should do that may not be the right thing to do.
By encourage, encourage, show some vulnerability every once in a while.
(19:26):
Riasms me all the time, but every once in a while,
show that you are a human being and not a robot.
That you have feelings and emotions, but also you can
also show people how you've mastered them and how they
worked for you and how they can work for other people.
That's why a lot of coaches have coaches, a lot
of mentors should have a mentor, a lot of therapists
(19:47):
have a therapist. I guess it's one of those things
that we should all just to make the world go around,
just you know, circulate and make the world go around.
So I want to tell you that I do have
I actually have notes for another show. That's what I'm
wanting to do. I'll do that and be on pay
next week. But I'm glad. I'm glad I talked about it.
I love getting ideas from my colleague. Sometimes again, I'll
(20:10):
see something they post or talk about and it inspires
me when to talk about you guys out there, because
I'm here. I'm here to help. That's that's where That's
where the SRS Show is a lot of help, here
to help. I'm for hire virtually in person this matter.
I'm for hire. Please check me out at a lot
of heelp dot com, the Spress Show both are all
(20:32):
I have all the pages on Facebook. So the s
SS Show, The Super Organizer a lot of help. They're
on Facebook, The s RS Show, s U s Underscore
Show on x the super O on x U. Be
out there too, or just James un if you just
want to go James Jr. I'm not every week everywhere.
(20:52):
Have a good week, be careful out there and I'll
see you next time.
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