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June 18, 2025 19 mins
In today's episode, the Angry Dad dives into the emotional complexities of helping loved ones who can't or won't help themselves. He emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries to protect your own mental, emotional, and financial well-being. The video also includes a shout-out to the podcast sponsor, Everyday Fit Life, offering practical advice for building healthy habits and a fitness routine. Tune in for an unfiltered discussion about balancing compassion and self-care, knowing when to step back, and recognizing that you can't save everyone.

00:00 Introduction and Sponsor Message
01:15 The Struggle of Helping Others
03:16 Setting Boundaries and Self-Care
05:33 Realizations and Personal Growth
14:50 The Importance of Direct Communication
18:55 Conclusion and Podcast Information 

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You know, like I said, you can't help people that
can't help themselves. Love Die Die, Die, Die Die die.
All right, it is Wednesday, and before we get in

(00:21):
today's podcast, I like to thank my podcast sponsors, every
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(00:45):
You know what I'm saying. It's an easy program you
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every program comes with a workout plan, so make sure
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(01:07):
You get twenty percent off with my code. Everything's in
my link, so make sure you guys check it out.
I appreciate it as getting day shown. You know people
are going to be who people are. You know you
can't help everybody. You know. It's one of those things
in the world where you know, shit always falls on

(01:27):
your shoulders, you know, like we feel and a lot
of us have big hearts that we're just trying to
help the world. Not just help the world, but we
want to help those that we love. We want to
help those who need our help. And sometimes it's hard
to give that. You know, it's hard to find the
line of how do you let someone save themselves? How

(01:48):
do you let someone fall on their face? How do
you let someone that you care for, you know, like
go through this rough patch and it fucking sucks. You know,
some people are gonna be who they are to the end.
You know, I've definitely had my fair share of extending

(02:09):
myself beyond my means, trying to help friends, trying to
help people, and sometimes there's nothing you can do about that,
you know what I'm saying. I've definitely put my previous
marriages in, you know, strain to try to be that person,
be that friend, to be that brother that we always
talk about, you know what I'm saying, Because a lot

(02:30):
of us, amongst our friends, you know, we consider ourselves family.
You know what I'm saying bloodsticker than water a lot
of the times. And you know, and like I said,
it's it sucks to see someone struggle. It sucks to
see someone go through something. It sucks that you can't help,
you know what I'm saying. Like you could have all
the answers in the world and you can give the
best advice that's out there, but some people just can't

(02:53):
hear you. Some people want to struggle, some people like
the chaos. Some people can't get their heads out of
their ass. And it's just something that I've, like I said,
I've dealt with and gone through. I've been there, done
that for numerous friends, you know what I'm saying, And

(03:13):
it sucks. It's a difficult situation, you know what I'm saying.
But the thing is is you have to understand when
you have to cut your losses, you have to understand
when you got to trim the fat. You got to
understand when you can't be around certain people. And it's
the fucking truth, all right. It fucking sucks, it absolutely

(03:33):
fucking does. You know what I'm saying. I hope no
one ever has to be in that position. But the
thing is is you gotta know when you got to
fucking fold, you know what I'm saying, Like, you got
to know when you have to pull back. Like I said,
if you're starting to descend into chaos, if your life
is starting to become stressful, if your life is not

(03:55):
in happiness, you know what I'm saying. If you are
not in a position where the will be okay for you, well,
guess what. You always have to look out for yourself,
you know what I'm saying. A lot of us want
to put our put everyone else before us, but at
the same time, don't destroy your life over somebody who
can't support, who can't rebuild theirs. It's a real conversation

(04:16):
that you have to have with yourself and with the
loved ones around you. You know what I'm saying, Because
a lot of times, when you're living this life and
you're trying to like do what you can, not everybody
can be saved, you know what I'm saying. People have
to live their lives the way they're going to live
their lives, and it sucks. I hate to see people spiral.
I hate to see people fail, I hate to see

(04:37):
people fall in their face, But sometimes real life situations
is what fixes that real life situations. You know what
I'm saying, someone who has no safety net, because there's
a lot of people out there that have safety nets that, oh,
my mom and dad, my friends and my family, those
who I care for will catch me. And a lot

(04:58):
of times it put it's a tremendous strain, a tremendous
strain on the family, a tremendous strain on your mental health,
a tremendous strain just in life. All right. No one
knows what's gonna happen. No one knows what's gonna what's
happening next, what's gonna be next, when's the next horrific fall,
when's the when am I gonna be needed? And a

(05:21):
lot of times, you know, like people take that for granted,
you know what I'm saying, People definitely do take that
for granted. I've had my situations where I've had I've
took it for granted. You know what I'm saying. I've
had to fall my face extremely fucking hard and realize that, hey,
I'm fucking up. You know what I'm saying. When you
lose it all and you get it all back there,

(05:41):
you develop an appreciation for what your fucking life is,
and I've definitely developed that appreciation and understand understanding. Like
I said, I've I've been there, done that for myself,
and I've been there, done that for a lot of
friends and family. And that's one of those things is
you yourself have to have that fucking come to Jesus

(06:02):
meeting that they have to have that internal dialogue and conversation.
Understand your health, your sanity, and your family structure. All right,
your family dynamic is more important than one fucking person,
you know what I'm saying. Your life is more important
at the end of the day than the other person.

(06:24):
You know, Like I said, you can't help people that
can't help themselves, and the more you help them, the
more you hurt yourself. Like I said, it's great when
you can help somebody and they turn their life around,
they get their shit straight, you know what I'm saying.
There's a lot of stories out there that are like that.
But there's also a lot of stories out there that
people fucking crash the fucking family unit, they crash their

(06:45):
fucking social life, they crash their fucking job. They put
themselves at so much of a stress over trying to
help that it fucks them up emotionally, physically, and financially.
You know, I've had to cross that hill numerous times
where I figured it out. Look, I will always offer

(07:05):
my opinion, I will always offer my advice. I will
always offer my help. But if you can't meet me
at that halfway mark, and if you can't show the
dedication to fix your life, guess what, I can't help you.
You know, it's a harsh reality that a lot of
us have to live with. It's a harsh reality a

(07:27):
lot of us have to deal with. But the thing is,
is it fucking sucks. It absolutely does. It hurts deep
down and emotionally. But you got to do what's best
for you. You have to do what's best for your family.
You have to do what's best that's going. Like I said,
and I'm not just sitting here trying to be selfish.

(07:48):
I'm not sitting here saying that like you know, oh,
I gotta fucking like No, you can only give so much,
you can only do so much, you know what I'm saying.
They don't know if they're hurting you. They don't know
that they're putting you in a struggle. They don't know
that they can't change they think they're doing the best
that they can. It's always this idea, it's always this

(08:10):
next week, it's always it's always something. You know what
I'm saying. They lead you on like that they are trying, when,
like I said, it might take some time, but you'll
see beyond. They're not trying. They love what they're doing,
whether it's hurting them or not. They're putting themselves in

(08:30):
that situation. And when someone's putting themselves in a situation,
that's dangerous. When someone's putting themselves in a situation that's bleak,
and that's going nowhere, and that's doing nothing. Unfortunately, you
got to know when you got to split that path.
Like I said, it's like, hey, I tried, but I can't.

(08:52):
You know, drawing that hard line and creating those boundaries,
it's a hard conversation. It sucks, nobody should go through that.
But developing these boundaries, developing these understandings, and understanding that
it's okay to have these thoughts, it's okay to think
this way when when shit gets as bad as it gets.

(09:14):
I'm not saying this is the first fucking step, but
guess what, there is a last step. The last step
is when you can't emotionally, physically, or financially do this anymore.
You have to understand that when you've got to cut
your fucking losses. Like I said, it could be your son,
your mother, your daughter, your sister, your brother, your best

(09:34):
fucking friend, it could be anybody. These are real life
situations that happen to everybody every fucking day. But the
thing is a lot of us fucking lie to ourselves
thinking that we can make a difference, that we can
make and change. And guess what, you can make a difference.
You can make the change, but it falls onto the

(09:55):
other person to do the work. And you can tell
when that person doing the work, and you can tell
when that person is not doing the work and understand that, hey,
guess what if they're not putting the effort and matching
your fucking energy, matching what you're doing. And I'm not
saying it's got to be perfect. I'm not saying they
gotta fucking like no. When they keep spiraling and they

(10:17):
keep falling, unfortunately, you gotta let them hit rock fucking bottom.
You gotta let them fucking face plant down, go through
the pain, go through the torture, and hope for the
fucking best, because that's all you can fucking do. Like
I said, there's a lot of situations, there's a lot
of fucking stories. There's a lot of fucking people that
are that understand what I'm fucking saying right now. And

(10:40):
the reason I'm saying it is because it needs to
be said out loud. It needs to be understood. It
needs to be fucking like. You're not a bad fucking
person for stopping. You're not a bad fucking person for
trying and for giving up. Because like I said, you
can't save everybody. You can't save the world. You can't

(11:04):
fix somebody who won't fix themselves. They have to have
the realization, they have to have the light bulb moment,
they have to have their epiphany. They have to go
through what they need to go through to understand what
it's gonna take to come out of it. Like I said,
I've I've definitely stretched my life real thinning trying for

(11:30):
a lot of people. But a lot of times, like
I said, you can only do so much, and because
you can only do so much, you need to understand
where when the end is. Like I said, I'm just
saying these things out loud so people don't feel alone,
don't think that. You know, they're a horrible person for
having these thoughts, having these fucking feelings when it comes

(11:52):
to these situations, because these situations are real deal, this
is real life. This shit is happening right fucking now
as we fucking speak. Someone's having these thoughts, these emotions,
these feelings, and they're fighting themselves, beating themselves up over it.
But guess what, it's okay. It's perfectly fucking fine. I've
had those emotions, I've had those feelings, I've had those thoughts,

(12:15):
you know what I'm saying. I felt like a horrible
person for giving up on people. But like I said,
once again, you can't save everybody. People are going to
do what people are gonna do. You have to let
them change, You have to let them grow, You have
to let them go through what they're going through to

(12:35):
become the better person that you want them to be.
Like I said, sometimes it takes a long time, sometimes
it doesn't happen. But you need to understand where your
line is. Your boundary is what you are comfortable with doing,
what you're comfortable with handling, what you're comfortable with providing because,

(12:58):
like I said, you can only do so much to
help somebody. Don't hurt yourself, don't hurt your family, Don't
fucking put yourself in a jeopardizing situation that can fuck
up your life, because I've definitely seen people do that,
and I've definitely had, you know, my my moments in

(13:18):
time where I almost fucked up everything, and I also
did fuck up everything. I'm just saying, like I said,
this is these are things that just pop in my
head and I'm like, fuck, these are emotions and feelings
that I deal with. Like I said, I don't know
what you fucking call it, but like every swath and
I have flashbacks of my past and I remember those emotions,

(13:39):
I remember those feelings. I remember just fucking like feeling
like I'm a horrible fucking person, like I can't believe
I let that fucking happen. But then I also understand
and remember, like no, I like I fucked up. I
was fucking up. I was letting it affect my work life,
my family life, my everyday life, and put me in

(14:03):
a horrible situation where like I feel depressed now, I
feel unworthy. I didn't do enough. I could have done more.
But the reality is is no matter how much I've done,
and no matter how much I do, it would never
have been enough. And I've come to terms with that,
you know what I'm saying. I've come to an understanding
of that, and like and because I've had those emotions

(14:26):
and I've had those feelings, I've made that boundary just
within myself where I make sure that I make it
very clear on what I'm willing to do for those
that I care for and those that I fucking love.
You know what I'm saying, I know what need I
know as far as I'm willing to fucking go to help,
and I'll clearly lay out those fucking boundaries every fucking time.

(14:50):
You know what I'm saying, It's it's it's very fucking
like people feel very like awkward about it because it's
like I'm very being very upfront, being very fucking honest
and being very being very straightforward. But that's what it
fucking takes. It takes that, you know, I know I'm
very direct, i know I'm very in your face about shit,

(15:13):
but it's helped me live the kind of life that
I want to fucking live because there's no fucking mincing
fucking words. Everything is laid out, simple, straightforward, and no miscommunication,
you know. Like, like I said, a lot of people
don't like that. A lot of people don't like to
sit there and be like, this is what this is,

(15:35):
this is how this is gonna work, and this is
what I fucking think and feel. Nobody wants to deal
with those upfront emotions, those up my feelings. They kind
of just want to dance around the fucking bush. But
the thing is is the more direct you are with
everybody in your life, and the more upfront you are
about how you are in your life, it will push

(15:55):
people away, but it also bring people in because they're
the ones that you fucking love, the ones that you
fucking care for. Those are the ones that'll stay close
because they understand you're this way because of this. And
those that don't like that, those who want to manipulate you,
those who want to fucking, you know, use and abuse you,
whether it's mentally, physically or financially, you know what I'm saying.

(16:19):
They'll make you feel horrible about being like that. They're
gonna fucking try to manipulate you to think that you're
being a hoble fucking person, that you're being a narcissist,
that you are hurting them by the way you're acting.
But it's not like that. It's the absolute opposite. Those
who care about you will understand, Oh no, that's how

(16:40):
you are, that's how you talk, and we are in
the same the understanding of like how life should be lived.
Like I said, it's a lot of back and forth,
and a lot of people can't deal with it, you
know what I'm saying, Like, don't feel pressured having to
do something or treat something or be there for somebody

(17:04):
who can't take care of themselves, who want to fucking
just do what they want to do and not fucking
not try to help fix themselves, you know what I'm saying,
Not try to improve their situation, not pull themselves out
of the fucking depths, you know what I'm saying. Because
some people like to stay there, roll in there, live there.

(17:26):
That's not me. I want to have a great life.
I want my kids to have a great left. I
want my wife to have a great left. I want
my dogs to have a great life. And I don't
want them to have to deal with drama, bullshit or
any of that, but understand, at the drop of a dime,
I would help them through any situation that they needed
help with. But also too, I also understand that guess what,

(17:48):
I can only do so much because if they don't
want to do something, if they don't want to fix
the situation, you know what I'm saying. Like I said,
I've been there, done that, and gone through these situations,
so I can read the room, I can read the person.
I can understand who's trying and not trying. Like I said,
it takes a long time to develop that site in it.

(18:09):
But once you do develop it and you do see
it and you realize it, don't feel like a horrible
person for having the thoughts or the feelings of the
emotions that you're having about that situation, because that's fucking life,
you know what I'm saying. Don't hurt yourself to help
somebody else. That's the main fucking thing to take away
from this, you know, Like I said, I've these are

(18:31):
the emotions and thoughts that go through my head that
when I have those flashbacks that replays and I'm just
going through past events, past emotions, past scenarios where I'm
just like, fuck, did I did you know, Like, I'm
questioning myself, but then I remember, Look, it felt horrible.
It was a horrible emotion. It was a horrible thought
to go through. But guess what. I did what I

(18:51):
couldn't and that's what I could. So guess the fuck?
What is the anger? Motherfucking dad? You want to watch
my shit YouTube? Want to do a speaker soundclot's ditch
your Spotify, Google Play, Apple podcasts, pod being, SoundCloud, deezer.
iHeartRadio this motherfuckers. Every wee can easily fucking find it, rate, review, like, subscribe,
all that fucking bullshit. I appreciate it. I'm also part
of the Inner Circle Podcast Network, group of powerful podcasters

(19:11):
out there sharing their ship that is in a Circle PN.
They'll take it. Everyone in our websites. Everyone shows we
as the Plunge, failing Hollywood, Simmons and more, the untrained, Eve,
the hood diner. Shit happens when you party naked, So
make sure you check the fuck out and I'll see
all motherfuckers on the next one. Fuck. Always living, always

(19:36):
always living, always always living
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