Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
You know, it's not the same as every other holiday.
It's not the same as.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Mothers love a die die die die, die die die.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
All right, Uh, it is Monday. Yesterday was Father's Day.
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(01:22):
you know, with yesterday being Father's Day, you know what,
the Father's Day, it's like one of those holidays. You
know what I'm saying. It's not pushed, it's not you know,
it's just not high on the calendar dates for every
other holidays. You know what I'm saying. Mother's Days like
one of those days that everyone goes over the moon.
(01:43):
It's like we're doing this, we're doing that. It's presents,
it's flowers, it's all these things. And when it comes
to Father's Day, it's not really that thing, you know
what I'm saying. And Father's Day's played down. Father's Day's
kind of just off to the side. People do celebrate
Father's Day, you know what I'm saying. My kids came
and saw me. I a great Father's Day, And even
for the majority of my Father's Day, I don't want
(02:04):
It's not that I don't want anything. I just want time.
I want my kids to be home. I want them
to see me, visit with me, talk with me. And
just physically be there. That's more of what I want.
I just want time and effort. You know what I'm saying,
I don't need a gift. Is I got gifts, Don't
get me wrong. I got a Sweet four you know,
Bluetooth four probe, you know meet thermometer that I've been eyeing.
(02:27):
You know what I'm saying, I don't want to spend
one hundred dollars on a fucking meat probe when I
have a basic meat probe. But you know, if someone's
gonna ask me for a gift, guess what. That meat
probe was high on my list because now I can,
you know, smoke multiple things, cook multiple things, and not
have to worry about just the one probe that I own.
You know what I'm saying, It's just is what it is.
It's just one of those luxury items that I always
wanted but I didn't need and I wasn't gonna spend
(02:50):
one hundred on. But guess what, my kids came together
and buy me that. So it is much appreciated. But
Father's Day is, you know, it's not the same every
other holiday. It's not the same as Mother's Day, and
it's something that always frustrates me and makes me mad.
It's just that, you know, the recognition there for a
father is not there. You know, the recognition of what
(03:12):
a father does is usually not there. You always hear
people bashing fathers. You always hear people putting down the
father's role. You know what I'm saying. Everything is against
the father and it's something that I've lived with. You
know what I'm saying. And I'm not just saying this
because you know I'm pulling out of my fucking ass. No,
this is just from experience. You know what I'm saying.
I've been beaten down by the court system. I've been
(03:34):
you know, villainized, I fucking you know, I was made
and my kids were made to think a certain way
about me. And the thing is is I always had
to prove myself. I had to prove who I was
as a father. You know, those who have my friends
that really know me, know how much I love them,
No know how much of a love being a father.
Know how much I've put in the effort and time
(03:55):
for my kids. You know what I'm saying. But a
lot of times, get that get just she gets outshined
by a stick. You know what I'm saying that stigma's
placed on fathers, that stigma's placed on the father's role.
You know a lot of times they're like, Oh, he's
just a provider. He just goes to work, he just
pays the bills. Like, no, that's just not it's that's
just a tip of the iceberg. You know, I didn't
(04:15):
grow up with a father, so I never had a
father figure, a father role I did. You know. I
had movies and I had actors that were portraying fathers
that I kind of like. I wish I had that.
But the thing was is I used to always repeat
to myself when I was a kid, I will never
be like my father. I will never be like this.
And I used to dwell on the things that I
didn't have. You know, I didn't have guidance. I didn't
(04:37):
have discipline. You know, my mom did discipline me, but
not the kind of discipline that comes for her father.
I didn't have fatherly advice. I didn't have fatherly words.
I didn't have anyone there to do anything with me
or support me. My mom was there. My mom did
everything she possibly could. I hold her in the highest regard,
but growing up the way I grew up and doing
(04:58):
the things that I'd done, you know what I'm saying,
And if I would have had someone there that was
just a father figure, you know what I'm saying. And
a father figure is a figure of authority, it's a
figure of discipline, it's a It's something that I imagine and
fantasize about because I didn't have that, you know what
I'm saying. Even when I, you know, reignited with my
(05:18):
father late in life, it wasn't what I wanted it
to be. You know what I'm saying. My father wasn't
in a good place in any sense of the way.
But you know, that's just what it is. But I
always told myself what I wanted to be as a
father and what I wouldn't do as a father. And
one of those things that I always told myself that
I would be is there present. You know what I'm saying.
(05:39):
I had to go through a lot of bullshit. I
had to go through a lot of drama, and guess what,
I fucked up a lot along the way. But the
thing is is I've worked my ass off to make
up for those faults. You know what I'm saying. I
always wanted to be there for my kids. And you know,
I didn't get a chance to be there one hundred
percent of the time. But guess what I was there
for my one hundred percent of the time. Put in
my time, put in my put in the work. You
(06:01):
know what I'm saying. Making sure that my kids understand
what responsibility is. Make sure my kids understand what respect is.
Make sure my kids understand what hard work is. You
know what I'm saying. How to stand up for themselves,
how to communicate, how to talk, how to be in public.
You know what I'm saying. These things that you know,
most people don't teach their kids or talk about. You
know what I'm saying. I constantly talk about these things.
(06:23):
I constantly speak to them on shit that I think
they should know. Whether they hear me or not, they're listening,
you know what I'm saying. That's the one thing. You know,
having a father in your life is so important, you
know what I'm saying. Even in all the articles and
all the fucking communication and all these things that people
(06:43):
fucking do, having a father in your life, having both
parents in your life makes a huge fucking difference. You
know what I'm saying. Your kids can dramatically change and
to be a better person. And the thing is it
does take a certain level of of just work and understanding.
Like I said, being a father is a thankless job
because we do what is responsible for us. We do
(07:05):
what's expected of us. We do what we're supposed to do,
and keep ourselves quiet about it because guess what, we
don't need the recognition. We just understand what the recognition
will be when they're grown, when my kids are adults,
living their life, being responsible, fucking you know, enjoying life
(07:26):
and just being productive and understanding that they get to
enjoy this. You know what I'm saying, because like I said,
every every parent, every father wants their child to be
better than them. And when they do become better than them,
it's a fulfillment that we receive. You know what I'm saying,
It's a delayed gratification because a lot of times we're
the bad guy. A lot of times we're hated a
(07:48):
lot of times. It's because we have to be this stern,
stoic person that's portraying this, this this facade of of strength.
You know what I'm saying. We're just like normal people.
Fathers are just like normal people. We have emotions, we
have feelings, we have thoughts, but a lot of times
we can't communicate those things because we're trying to hold
(08:10):
the weight of the world. The weight of the world
is always on a father's shoulders because there's a lot
to burden us. But we don't want to burden our family.
You know, we have work, we have bills, we have stress,
we have anxiety, we have all these things that we
try to hold up above. A father is the structure
(08:33):
of a family. You know what I'm saying. We hold
the roof, we hold the walls, and that's just what
it is. You know what I'm saying. We're supposed to
be a sense of security. We're supposed to be the
sense of safety and of comfort and all these things
because we're there. We stand in the background. We make
(08:56):
sure things go the way they're supposed to go, and
control as much as we can for our family, for
our kids, for our wives, for those that we love
around us. If you happen to be within the structure
of a father, guess what really look turn around and
understand what has he done that we don't see? What
(09:20):
does he go through that we don't understand? You know
what I'm saying, a lot of times, when you come
home from a hard day's work, when you come home
from fucking you know, battling the fucking world out there,
When your dad comes home, he takes care of the house,
takes care of what needs to be fixed, helps out
where he can, you know what I'm saying. Like I said,
(09:43):
you know, our day doesn't end when we get off
of work. You know what I'm saying. It doesn't end
when we sleep. You know, we take care of all
situations at all times, and that's what's expected of us.
And we do it without any need of a thank you,
And that's what it's supposed to be. That's what it's
all about. You know, I, as a father, always said
(10:07):
I would do more than I could for my kids.
I always said I would be better than my dad.
You know, I think I did pretty well. My kids
are all, you know, doing well. You know what I'm saying.
They're doing as good as you can and expect for
a family. You know, I love them to death and
they love me to death. And you know it's always
(10:31):
been hard for me to communicate that love. But I
have been getting better at it. I've been better, getting
at my showing my affection, showing my attention, showing that
I care. You know what I'm saying, Being more communicative,
you know what I'm saying, Because that's the new dad. Nowadays.
We have to communicate how we feel. We have to
communicate our thoughts. We have to communicate these things to
(10:52):
our family, to our kids. Because guess what, it wasn't
allowed before, It wasn't approved before. You know what I'm saying.
We just had to fucking suffer and deal in silence.
But the thing is is nowadays is everyone understands Everyone
fucking gets it. We do what we can do for
our family. You know what I'm saying. We have to
teach them how to be these ways. We have to
(11:13):
teach them how to be you know, this person that
they're growing into and understanding what communication is, Understanding what
fucking conversation is, Understanding what dynamic of who you are
in this world? You know what I'm saying, And it
just and the only way they learn this is from experience. Well,
the only way they learned that this is through conversation.
The only way they learn through this learn about this
(11:36):
is through example and as you live your life as
a good fucking person, doing what you're supposed to do,
getting shit fucking done, handling your fucking business, and being
about who you are. It subconsciously gets learned by your family.
It subconsciously gets learned by your kids, and then they
grow into a model of you. They're not the exact copy,
(11:56):
but they become the person that they're going to become.
But also to the handle themselves in a social situation.
They can hand themselves in a life situation. They can
handle themselves in a business situation because guess what, they
know how to conduct themselves because you've been always conducting
yourself a certain way. You know, Like I said, being
a father is one of the hardest jobs, you know
what I'm saying. Everyone tell you being a mother is
(12:17):
a really hard job too. Well, guess what, it's both ways.
You know what I'm saying. Being a mom is a
hard job because there's a lot of responsibilities there. But
guess what, being a father is just as hard. It's
something that has to be recognized which is not recognized.
You know what I'm saying. I would definitely like Father's
Day to be a little higher up there in the
holiday calendar. But you know, it is what it is.
(12:39):
It's gonna be what it's gonna be. You know what
I'm saying, Dads nowadays, in portrayed in cartoons, portrayed in
TV shows, portrayed in all these things nowadays, is no
longer a strong figure. It's a weak figure. We're meant
to be dumb, We're meant to be stupid, We're meant
to be horrible people were meant We're meant to be
the scum of the earth. And that's how a lot
(12:59):
of now portrayed. You know what I'm saying, It is
what it is. But the thing is is that's not
what reality is. There's a lot of great fathers out
there doing a lot of great fucking things, handling great
fucking business. You know what I'm saying. We're not fucking stupid.
We all fucking work hard, we all put in the
fucking time, we all put in the effort, and we're
all goofy guys that like to have a good fucking time,
make some fucking jokes and enjoy their fucking life. But
(13:22):
that's not how we're portrayed out in the world. You
know what I'm saying. You hear all these things about
you know single moms taking care of their kids. Well,
guess what, there's a lot of situations out there where
single mom's not letting their kids be with their dad.
There's a lot of single moms out there that are
not letting dads be dads be involved in their life,
and they have to fight for it. And I can
(13:43):
say that because that's what I had to do, you
know what I'm saying. That was my situation. I had
to fight for every moment in time that I had
my kids, you know what I'm saying. Even my progression,
I had one day a week, you know what I'm saying,
one day every other week, and then I had two
days every other week, and then I had three days
(14:04):
every other week, and then I had every other weekend,
you know what I'm saying, and so forth and so forth,
till I got fifty to fifty to where I was
always with my kids. And then my boys were always
with me, They lived with me. I was a custodial parent.
I was the one that was taking care of them.
You see what I'm saying. And this is all progression
over time, you know what I'm saying. Just did my
(14:26):
me being in my kid's life as much as I
am in their lives. Didn't happen over fucking night. You
know what I'm saying. When when divorce and all this
stuff happened, I got threats. I'm gonna call the cops
on you. This is gonna happen. You're never gonna see
your kids. I lost my kids for a whole year,
didn't get to see them because I was threatened. But
through the court system, through time and effort, you know
(14:47):
what I'm saying, going to court multiple times a year.
Because that's the one thing that they don't tell you
about the court system is if you don't agree with
a child support order, you can immediately file and go
right back to court. It does take time, gets to
put on the book, all that good stuff. I guess what.
You immediately file and you try again. You immediately file
and you try again. All you can do is ask
for more time and get more time. You know what
(15:09):
I'm saying. It takes a long fucking time. But that's
what it takes. You have to fight for your family.
You have to fight for your life, you have to
fight for your kids, you have to fight to be
a father. And that's a lot of guys out there
that they're fighting to be a father and losing a
hopeless battle, and then you know, and fucking being financially
drained trying to be a dad. You know what I'm saying,
(15:32):
That's just what it comes down to. You know what
I'm saying, because that was my situation too, all right.
You know, I'm barely making it living on a fucking couch,
you know what I'm saying, not having enough money to
take care of my fucking self because I had to
pay you know, this ridiculous amount of money. You know,
I don't know how many times I've almost lost my
job because I just kept going back to court and
taking all this time off to fill out all this
(15:53):
paperwork do it. And like I said, I didn't have
any money for a lawyer. I had to go to
the self help desk and fill everything out. I had
to file all the paperwork myself. I had to get
someone to serve somebody and then to go to the
court to file that paperwork so then I can have
that paperwork, you know. You know what I'm saying. Like,
like I said, there's a lot of struggle out there
for a lot of guys, and I've been there, done
(16:15):
that I've had to do that. That was part of
my life for a long fucking time. It's not fucking easy,
not fucking easy. It's not easy being a father nowadays.
But the thing is, it's worth being a father. It's
worth being that man. It's worth taking care of your kids.
It's worth watching your kids grow up to be who
(16:37):
you want them to be themselves, no stress, no drama,
understanding exactly who they are, understanding exactly what they want,
and doing what it takes to be successful. Like I said,
it's a thankless job being a father, you know what
I'm saying. Mothers get thanked all the fucking time. Like
(16:58):
I said, Mother's Day is one of the highest days
on the calendar for holidays, you know what I'm saying.
I think it's what Christmas Mother's Day or Christmas Thanksgiving,
What Mother's Day, Valentine's Day. I don't even know where.
I know it's low on the list for Father's Day.
But it's a thankless job. I don't expect anyone to
fucking care, but I do expect it to be recognized.
(17:23):
It just is what it is. I think it would
be so much better to be recognized a little more
on the Father's Day than fucking you know what I'm saying.
Like I even think I've seen a meme where, you know, oh,
Father's Day, fathers eat free at Chick fil A on Sunday,
not Chick fil A open on Sunday. But like I said,
it's funny. But that's how Father's Day is betrayed. You
know what I'm saying. It just is what it is.
(17:45):
You know, I'm not asking for the world, but it's
just a little bit more recognition on all the good
fathers out there that are really fucking taking care of
business because us good father's out there. Guess what, there's
a lot more of us than you think. There's a
shitty one stick out that's not on us, you know
what I'm saying. That's that's that's on the world for
promoting that. So guess the funk what does the angry
(18:05):
motherfucking dad. Thank you yess for watching my ship. I'm
also part of the Inner Circle podcast Network, a group
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Circle pn dot com, ticket everyone, our websites, everyone, our shows.
Make sure you check it the funk out. We have
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I'll see all motherfuckers on the next one.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Fuck always, always living, always always living, always living,