In this enlightening episode, Talbot Stark, the founder and CEO of ExecPathfinders, shares his innovative approach to achieving elite performance in the workplace and beyond. Drawing from his vast experience in international finance, U.S. military leadership, and executive coaching, Stark introduces his proprietary Elite Performance Pillars™ methodology.
This episode dives into the essence of becoming a better you, a better manager, and mastering the art of managing your manager. Listeners will gain invaluable insights into Stark's actionable strategies distilled from over four decades of cross-industry experience.
As we explore each pillar, Stark will offer practical advice and real-world examples to help professionals at any career stage unlock their full potential. By tuning into this episode, you'll learn how to reshape your career trajectory, enhance your leadership skills, and align your personal values with organizational goals for a truly transformative impact. Don't miss this opportunity to learn from one of the most sought-after voices in executive coaching.
This episode dives into the essence of becoming a better you, a better manager, and mastering the art of managing your manager. Listeners will gain invaluable insights into Stark's actionable strategies distilled from over four decades of cross-industry experience.
As we explore each pillar, Stark will offer practical advice and real-world examples to help professionals at any career stage unlock their full potential. By tuning into this episode, you'll learn how to reshape your career trajectory, enhance your leadership skills, and align your personal values with organizational goals for a truly transformative impact. Don't miss this opportunity to learn from one of the most sought-after voices in executive coaching.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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(00:06):
Thank you for joining us, andwelcome to another edition of Answers Network.
I'm your host, Alan Cardoza.Now are you ready, Because if you
are, if you're ready to takecontrol of your career, your life and
destiny by becoming an elite performer,stay with us as we learn how.
In fact, text your friends withthis one. Because as fast as things
(00:29):
are changing, especially in how businessesare run successfully, we're going to get
a peek into the strategies that manypeople have paid very large amounts of money
to learn. We're going to previewour guests one on one executive coaching strategy
outline in his upcoming book, bythe way, it's released tomorrow now.
(00:52):
The book is Elite Performance for Managers, and we're going to discuss his actional
guide, consisting of three pillars hedeveloped for elite performance in any industry,
not only any industry, but inany part of your life. So joining
us with three decades of experience ininternational finance, Talbot Stark is the visionary
(01:17):
founder and CEO of exec Pathfinders,which stands as a beacon of transformation in
the realm of executive coaching worldwide.Now throughout its preparat proprietory, elite performance
pillars methodology, which we'll talk abouta little later, except exec pathfinders nurtures
(01:40):
professionals in reshaping their minds, careersand destiny. Talbot's academic accomplishments include a
CFA, a MBA from University ofCambridge Judge Business School, and a Bachelor's
of Science in Industrial Engineering from theUniversity of Wisconsin. Adison Talbot, Welcome
(02:01):
to Answers Network. Alan, Thankyou, really excited, excited for the
people joining, and really my purposeand we'll discuss that is effectively over my
forty years from my days in themilitary to international finance, really trying to
embellish and say here are the keylessons I learned. More importantly, here's
(02:23):
all the things I wish someone wouldhave told me along the way that you
can benefit. It took me fortyyears of trials and tribulations to try to
codify that, and that's what I'mreally excited about in my aim. And
we were talking before the show,as Alan's had a chance to read the
book to really give a practical stepstep guide that you can implement. So
my goal and hopefully we'll get intothat, Alan, but thanks for having
(02:46):
me as a guest today and thankseveryone for joining us. Well, you
know, and I mentioned, youknow in the introduction the three pillars,
and one of the things that Iliked was is the you know, in
breaking things down like this, itmade it much easier for me as the
reader to think about, oh,this is an area I think I get
(03:09):
a little more help and I kindof would focus in that area, which
I think is great because in thisday and age of everything's happening so quick,
I don't always have time to readeverything. So as I'm reading,
I'm going, yeah, okay,this is this is an area, spend
a little more time. And Ikind of skimmed through some areas I thought
maybe it wasn't, you know,as big a thing for me, But
(03:30):
I want you to know that Ithink that's a great idea and a great
fit for today's world. I couldn'tagree more. And you know, one
of the things that if we extrapolatethat for the moment, and I talk
about this in the book, sofor the audience, you know, the
three pillars, it's first and foremostbeing a better you, the best ROI
(03:53):
the best return on investment, andyou can achieve is investing in oneself.
And here the reality is that,and I want to be candid in my
book. First, I don't haveall the answers, but I've done my
best to at least give you tipsand lessons learned that I think will be
successful for you and your career yourhappiness if you apply them. As Alan
(04:14):
and I were talking about, familyis a big component because a career is
not just you, right, There'smany actors involved. But my point here,
which you kind of just trigger forme, scientific evidence. I was
a helicopter pilot in the US Army, so I used to think that I
was a very good multitasker. Wehad a webinar last week with an F
(04:36):
sixteen ACTI duty fighter pilot in Italy. However, here's the reality. The
cold on this truth is the humanbrain is not designed to be optimal with
a continued bombardment of information. Sojust a little takeaway, but for people
that are listening, here's one thing, and the scientific evidence is strong.
(04:56):
So first, my assumption that Iwas some excellent multitasker was categorically wrong.
That's not the optimal way your brainworks. So unplugging, you know,
making sure that there's times when youhave important things to consider twofold unplug,
you know, turn the phone off, wait till you hear the end of
the show, to turn your screensoff, but really get in that time
(05:19):
away. And it's amazing when youput your brain at ease and then focus
it and saying during this time,I'm not going to have any interruptions.
Here's what I want to focus on. Your ability. Your cognitive processes are
accelerated, so just not to diverttoo much. But that's something that's missed
(05:40):
today because we become dependent and alot of the news media is focused on
kids. Right, we see kids, we shake our ads. I have
two young adults, but that's notthe only ones that are captive to their
phones. It applies to probably manyof us here. So just one practical
takeaway. If you want to beelite, you need to unplug once in
a while, get perspective and reallyfocus at the task at hand. So
(06:04):
just a little free advice. Theresomething I really care about. Well,
and it's so funny that you wouldjump on that one first because of the
fact that that's one of the thingsthat grabbed me the most. Is this
whole thing of thinking that I canmultitask, and I have a different terminology
that I've used in the past.For those of us close to my age,
(06:27):
they'll get it. But at spinningpie plates, and I would say
exactly, my problem will be thatI'm spinning too many pie plates. And
for the younger people, there usedto be variety shows where at some point
in time they bring a guy on. He'd start at one end of the
stage, there'd be a table.We'd start spinning that pipe plate, and
he'd go all the way down andhe's spinning about twenty of them. By
(06:50):
the time he gets to the twentiethone, that first one is wobbling and
just about to fall, and heruns back as fast as he can.
He spins that one. And that'smy visual telling me I'm spinning too many
pie plates. I have to takesome of them and set them down or
they're all going to fall. Sobut when I was reading the book,
(07:11):
and I was going, okay,he's speaking to me, now, okay,
about about trying to do too manythings, about the same thing about
you know, turn things off,you know, back away from a lot
of the technology when you can.Anyway, they hit home. Now the
other the other part having to dowith the fact of the first pillar.
(07:34):
I love that you talk about managingyou. Okay, I think many of
us need to look inward first beforewe're in a position to lead others.
So share with us some of yourmanaging you strategies to become a better you.
Sure, no, thanks, thanks, Alan, that's the foundation,
right, So this should be inspirationalin that, honestly and candidly, there's
(07:59):
so much that we can do.Granted, there's a lot of things we
don't control in life, but manypeople, or I should say few people,
truly maximize the things they do control. So that's kind of me pounding
on the table in a good way, because if you're going to have personal
accountability, if you really truly wantto be elite, first and foremost,
(08:22):
it's that person you's see in themirror every day. You can work for
a young, dynamic company. Youcan be your own CEO or founder.
You can work for a fortune fivehundred, you can work for the government,
et cetera, et cetera. Youcan have amazing managers. I've been
blessed with many in my career.You can have HR partners, you can
have mentors, you can even havea coach. But here's the most important
(08:45):
thing. You and you alone areresponsible for managing your career. So first
you have to own it. Now, what do we need to do.
So one of the things I dowith any executive client I take on,
I ask them, respectfully to bea lawyer for the next two weeks,
with no conscious bias. Simply denotewhere you spend your time and how you
(09:07):
spend it. Every half an hour, spreadsheet, old school writing, whatever
suits you. If you want tobe elite, do that from the moment
you wake up and without fail,two weeks of observations. We'll get back
on a call like this and thepatterns you see and what things depending on
(09:28):
whatever context. I understand many ofus in the corporate world as meetings we
host or meetings we have to goto. But here it's the first first
goal. When we were talking aboutthis before the show, the first goal
is that today, laudably, peopleare focused on the task and helping the
(09:48):
firm. And the brain helps youbecause there's an objective and you work and
you achieve it. The endorphins kickin and you're doing good. But here's
the caution sign. Here's a yellowflag if you're on the racetrack, is
that first and foremost you can't beone hundred percent task or tactically focused,
even though and here's the tricky part, and I never wanted to put good
(10:11):
people in harm's way in their career. Meaning these are well intended, dutiful,
hardworking people, but no one's tappingin on the shoulder saying pause.
You need to unplug, get perspective, and spend five to ten percent of
your time strategically managing your career.Now, let me link a couple things,
(10:31):
because I'm going to dig fast.So I would for me, the
most valuable asset we have is time. We're all allotted the same every day
we get twenty four hours allen foryou, for me are loved ones.
So going through where do we spendour time in really critically analyzing that for
a two week period, you canmake changes. The first thing I would
(10:56):
advocate if you want to be eliteis carve out thirty minutes a week twice
to find that time when you canideally unplug and really strategically get some distance
and manage your career. So it'sadjusting your schedule now digging a little deeper
and being a better you. Mostof us can probably know where February and
(11:18):
twenty twenty four. If you're afiscal calendar year, you know your new
budget, you know the number,you know your targets, you know all
these things understood, But not everyone. And I have it on my phone.
What's your personal goals? I callit the live performance matrix, meaning
how what's the metric? How canI assess personally where I'm spending my time
(11:41):
if I don't know what's important tome? And I define that, I
hate you can be the best marksman. If you can't see the target,
you're not going to hit it.So and I try to keep things simple.
I love the work that MIT doesand it was quite consistent with the
things I learned in the military thaton average, most people cannot remember more
(12:03):
than three to five things related toa specific topic. So the quick homework
assignment. And now you've probably seenit in my book. And I'll be
open with everyone here in the audienceto find those things in your life,
those three three to five areas thatare most important to you. I'm not
prescriptive, it's just think about itfor me. I'll share for me it's
(12:26):
my faith, it's my family,my fitness in my career, and then
those are the rows, if youwill, and then next to that the
next column. I have three tofive objectives kind of on a six month
rolling basis for those four things,and it's just trying to keep it simple,
trying to minimize a number of platesyou have in here. Because it's
great on the Talent Show for thosethat remember back in the TV days,
(12:50):
but for your life. I believefocus yields results. So if you're starting
to put things together, you know, understand where you spend your time,
take a deliberate action to if it'simportant to you, then take time to
manage your career two half hour segments. If you're not investing that amount of
(13:11):
time in your career, I wouldquestion you, how successful do you think
you're going to be if you don'tspend any time to do it right.
Just like my putting game, Alan, when we get out and play,
you seem like a nice guy.My drive is respectable, my short game,
but you may or may not saysomething, but my putting game needs
some work. But how realistic isit for me to think my putting game
(13:35):
is gonna miraculously improve without any time. Same thing for your career. So
I said a lot there, Alan, So let me let me pause and
I'll hand it back over to you. Well, but and I think it's
it's a great point that many ofus don't put the amount of time that
we should. So yeah, attimes, and I know you mentioned the
(13:56):
fact that you talk about there's sciencebehind a lot of this, so you've
done a lot of research. Howmuch time do most people actually dedicate to
their career? And how much timeshould we be doing? Sure? Now,
good questions. And again with thecompanies or clients I work with,
(14:20):
first and foremost, there's a bigdifference between knowing and doing. Almost everyone
is we're talking good points, tellabout multitasking, plate spinning, Alan,
Right as we were talking, youknow, I know I should spend time
planning. I'm too busy, right, And there's always a pushback or you
don't know my schedule or any ofthe various excuses. Right, But again,
(14:43):
removing emotions, the only thing Ican say is how likely are you
going to improve if you're not dedicatingany time? And here here is a
little I think invaluable lesson to justreiterate how important time is. I call
it the five minute miracle, meaningunplug and set your phone or some timer
(15:07):
for five minutes. Try to dothis at the time of the day where
it's a bit more peaceful, there'ssome calm in your life, and do
what we mentioned before. Unplugged andthen focus on that topic. If you
finished listening to us today and youwant to say, you know what,
I'm going to brainstorm just with myselfthe next five minutes of what are the
(15:28):
important things in my life? Whatare the four three to five categories that
I want to focus on? Right, and you hit that start button and
wait and again, do it uncensored. Let brainstorm kind of if you're writing
or typing, whatever, or evenaudio whatever works best for you. And
when that five minute alarm goes off, you'll be amazed of what you can
(15:50):
accomplish if you're focused to get backto the science your brain. If you
set it up this way, andthe timer is important because it tells your
brain like, Okay, I amI have a very specific purpose and I
need to focus. I go throughall that alan back to your question.
Right, if you do it,and I guarantee if you do it the
(16:10):
way I just described. You willbe blown away of how much is up
there if you give your brain achance to focus. So again with the
career, I advocate a minimum offive to ten percent, And again I
talk about this in my book.We have kids, families, elderly.
Everyone has a different construct in theirlife. But for me, I think
(16:33):
it's achievable find that thirty minute segment. I did it twice a week.
And then for me what worked well. Every Sunday kind of after family activities,
before dinner, I had an hourwhere I did everything I just told
you. I went to my officeshut everything down. And that was in
the finance role. It was mymark to market. How am I doing
(16:55):
professing something, knowing versus doing youknow what? Last week we had a
client issue. I wasn't feeling sowell. A few things fell down,
No problem, I am aware.I'm taking the time to manage my career
and now I can to decide onsome deliberate action so that I'm going to
shift consciously next week where I needto focus more in my family. I
(17:17):
was traveling all last week. Sowhatever that may be, your partner,
your kids, whatever. So again, it's trying to do everyone on this
call, I'm sure has achieved significantsuccess. It's like elite athletes. What's
the difference between the hundredth ranked tennisplayer in the world and number one.
It's probably an infinitesimal different grip thatserves their tennis. At one hundred,
(17:42):
there serves one hundred and five andthe next guy's one hundred and ten with
their different slice or whatever it maybe. And you can continue in every
sport. So when I look atelite performance in our careers, it's the
same mentality. Looking at the timeyou spend in your career. Commit to
making a small change in your scheduleso you can free this process up and
(18:04):
if you do it consistently, right, I underline that commit. If you're
telling me you can only afford fifteenminutes, I just try to five minute
rule. Even fifteen minutes is significantlybetter than zero. Right. So my
main message is find something practical,find something achievable, and then it's back
(18:25):
to that person in the mirror,hold yourself accountable. I love it.
And along these lines, let's talkabout a balance a little bit. And
from my standpoint as somebody who hasworked with parents, and much of what
you've been doing has been more soon the business side. So I found
myself running into very very high levelbusiness people who were spending zero time with
(18:52):
their family. And I'll tell aquick story is that I had a gentleman
who who had run away and he'dbeen abusing drugs and so on. And
I flew in to meet with themand went in and he started immediately ranting
about He said, well, you'resupposed to be the damn expert, so
you tell me what the hell isgoing on in his head. I have
(19:15):
given him everything, and I havedone this, and I have done this
and so on and so. Andhe's going through just yelling, you know
about you know the fact that he'sungrateful and and all these things and stuff.
And I said, Sir, Isaid, I go, how many
vice presidents do you have working foryou? And he looked at me.
(19:36):
He went, I don't know.Thirty. He goes, what the hell
does that have to do with anythinglike that? And I said, I
said, you've just explained that youhave given your son everything and that now,
at fifteen years old, you haveset some parameters because it got out
(19:56):
of control. He goes, yeah, So and I go, what would
your thirty vice presidents do if youall of a sudden changed the rules on
them, would they leave? Andhe looked at me, and I glanced
over the corner. Out a cornerof my eye, I can see his
wife, and she went like thisbecause I think she thought he was going
to hit me. I mean itwas like she just thought, nobody talks
(20:19):
to him like this. But heafter he got through his rage and he
went, Okay, can you justfind him. We'll work on that other
stuff later. Can you just findhim? But what I realized, you
know, was was that you knowhe has you know, he's incredibly successful,
(20:41):
and he has thirty vice presidents workingfor him, but he knew nothing
about what was going on in hisfifteen year old son's head. So let's
now talk about balance and as yousaid, you know, faith, family,
career, all of these things andhow we can balance them to lead
an optimal life. No, Alan, thanks for sharing that right and with
(21:08):
a person and the family you're havingthe discussion with. I am slow to
make judgment because I think with goodintent, much ill can be done right.
I'm sure that person was in thatthought process. I'm providing for my
family. I'm working hard. Iwant him to go him or her to
(21:30):
go to school. I'm providing thethings I didn't have. Again, all
well intended, and I'm sure Idon't know the person, but I'm sure
in this thought process, those arelaudable things to do and probably sacrificing.
Right. So it's a little bitback to the why the life performance matrix
as I call it. And againit's simple. It's just defining what's important
(21:53):
to you to I have it,right, if you were standing behind me,
Allan, it's right on my wallhere because I need these constant reminders.
So I think you know, theadvice is, you know, almost
back to what we're talking about inmanaging your career. And it's hard.
(22:14):
I have a twenty one year oldand seventeen year old, right, you
know, I'm not sure I wouldsay probably no one knows exactly what's going
on in anyone's head. But it'salmost the same principles. And I'm not
a perfect father either, right,but I've made some choices to try to
be congruent or if you will,hold myself accountable. It's and again you
(22:37):
have to believe it, right,If I, professor, I believe that
I think my family's important to me, right, So then if it's back
to where do I spend my time, and there's ways, okay, quality
time or whatever, but there's there'sways. Again, if this is important
to me and I'm in control ofmy life. The executive that you're he's
obviously competent individual in the corporate rookplace. So it's like if you make
(23:02):
those decisions, I'm sure he hasa secretary and I'm sure to see him
or her. They have to havemeetings, I doubt randomly, there's no
meetings book and people just come tothat probably doesn't happen, right, So
it's kind of that same thing ifyou need to try to if you're the
relationship with your children are important,then make that commitment to be flexible,
(23:26):
but make a commitment on what's goingto work with them, right, try
to find that dialogue. Some ofthe things we do with their family,
this is the Stark family. Youcan make your own judgment. But we
got a lot of people go ina lot of directions, you know,
so we try to have a littleconference call. Maybe some of you might
think that's ridiculous, but we're dynamicand going places. But again, I
(23:48):
try to make it something that it'sthat I know, everyone knows how to
use the phone, we find acommon time and there's no excuse for ry
unless there's an emergency. So II think it's you know, in sharing
that story and onen it's deliberate actions, right, take those if the workplace,
(24:08):
your success, your professionalism, youraspiration to be elite as a manager
in the corporate world, take someof those same qualities. I'm sure if
you're successful, you don't skip meetings, you don't show up late. Right,
It's no different with your family ifyou know, if they don't see
(24:32):
that commitment or prioritization, you know, no different than bosses that kind of
continually cancel the opportunity when you wantto have a meeting with them. How
do you feel? And it's youknow, how does the other see oneself?
Right? So my advice is justactions speak louder than words. If
that's helpful, No, it's incrediblyhelpful. And as you were saying that,
(24:53):
the you know, I was kindof thinking of like a catchphrase type
of thing, which is, youknow, what if if as a manager,
if you couldn't imagine yourself just skippingmeetings, then don't skip your kids
ballgame, then don't skip their theirballet recital. Don't skip those things either.
(25:15):
How about one of the things thatI really liked in the book because
I hadn't thought about it before,which was you talk about delete delegation and
replace with partnering. Okay, Ithink it's a great concept, uh so,
And I realized that it's something thatI've done naturally, but I never
(25:36):
thought of it that way. Soyou know, share how you came to
realize this and the best way thatpeople can implement it in their own life.
Sure, thanks Soullan. So.Uh. I think my experience in
writing a book, it's been reallyinteresting. But I my aim was I
needed to let my guard down.Right. There's colleagues I've worked with for
(25:59):
two decades I'll be reading my bookor seeing this interview. But I,
again, I wanted to be genuineand authentic, So I'll tell you that
I would say in the first youknow, decade or so of my career,
I struggle with delegation, right,not that I didn't understand what it
meant. And I also knew implicitlyI can't do everything. So I was
(26:22):
putting, if you will, myown ceiling on my career advance. But
however, even understanding the consequences,I struggled. What did I struggle,
at least for me, is thathow could I how can I manage the
quality control? And you know,you're kind of short these options. If
I'm running the group or the teamor whatever. If I'm responsible, I'm
(26:45):
responsible for the quality. So howdo I mitigate delegating but ensuring that we
have consistent quality control? And itwas I would say kind of more in
the mid part of my career whereI talk about a moment of truth.
At this time, I was,you know, managing a global sales force
and be in my office. Iwas in finance, and it would happen
(27:11):
unfortunately, you know, good working, earnest people would depart for some other
opportunity. But before they were leaving, my assistant would say, Joe wants
to see you, you know,before he leaves, so you can anticipate
what the meeting. Most likely,I call it the moment of truth because
at this point we tried to retainthe individual, went through all those steps,
(27:33):
but they made their decision. Soit's a social moment, if you
will. So there'd be the ubiquitousreally things depending on maybe I hired them.
We're part of the hiring process andwe work together. So hey,
really thank you for the opportunity,your support, love the time at the
bank. We can all anticipate thebutt, right, So all the platitudes
and then there's the butt. Andthis is what troubled me, honestly,
(27:57):
you know, eight nine times outof ten whatever that answer was, is
like, in a realistic time frame, we could have accommodated that for someone
we wanted to keep. So howdid we get to this point? And
that's where I realized, back tounfortunately that person in the mirror, you
know, I was to blame inthat the quality of the dialogue that somehow
(28:21):
my team, myself, I didn'tput this person in a position of comfort.
To be honest, we never understoodor had a form where something maybe
ellen to your point, very importantto their family. I have a couple
of clients dealing with these things rightnow, families paramount. If I never
set up a situation where like,how's everyone doing, you know, and
(28:44):
so on, well, my motherin law is really ill. It's causing
a lot of stress. If not, if I never open up that opportunity
to keep it in. They're focusedon their job. They're a good employer,
but at some point there's a fracture, right, and maybe just what
we were talking Aboutlan, they're trulytrying to put their family first, so
they're at odds. They don't feelcomfortable to talk to Talbot about the situation,
(29:07):
so they see the only choice isgoing somewhere else. Right, So
I said, boy, how dowe you know this is in back again?
Looking being honest with myself, I'mlike, okay, Well, as
the commander in the military or themanager in the workplace, I'm failing because
I'm not investing the time, I'mnot making putting people in the situation of
(29:30):
comfort, to be honest, becauseall of us have these conflicts children as
you're just you know, talking aboutparents, all these different things. So
I made I call it my goldendecade in my career to try to pivot
and make a conscious choice. First, as you probably saw in the book,
ask and then listen a little roleplay, right, we can change
(29:52):
the context. But to give youexample, so hopefully comes home February.
Let's assume we're a year and Alan, you just saw we came out of
the town hall and we budgets forour team are up twenty five percent in
revenues top line. There's no waywe're going to achieve this unless I really
ensure everyone and the team is leaninginto their strengths. So listen to Alan.
(30:15):
I always want to know from you. You know, you have amazing
international network. I think you youknow, for my observation, that's a
strength. But tell me, Alan, how do you think you can best
contribute to the team's success. Whereare you most passionate? And please feel
free to include things that you neverfelt before because we didn't ask that you
(30:36):
wanted to contribute, but you justdidn't feel it was your place, so
you know, And it's and thenas that pause right that it's not selling
or delegating or here's your Midwest regionand it's going from one hundred to all
these things that are very rote andlaudable in some ways. But if I'm
being clear, as I call it, it's giving. It's giving your team
(31:00):
member, your partner in those words, are select purposefully giving them the microphone
or the pen you write down.So many things have changed, you know,
Alan, could you just write downwhat you think your job description is?
And every time you do that,you'll find out they're doing a lot
of different things. Right, let'stalk about that, or I'm passionate about
this, or simply just asking themwhere your best aligned? So what do
(31:23):
you achieve? There's a few things. One if you sincerely ask this,
don't ask it a few weeks beforethe bonus. Don't ask it a few
weeks before the review, because you'renot going to have genuine dialogue. Be
purposeful if you can, even outof the workplace it's a morning breakfast or
whatever, put someone at ease.And obviously, hey, you share in
(31:44):
your style, share your own struggles. For me, I can tell you
I had a lot of energy,tenacity. I lived and breathe the client
business. But I needed in lockstepa COO who could implement the processes to
hold me accountable, to hold usaccountable so we could achieve what we were
saying. That was a weakness.Here's where I could lean in. And
(32:04):
I had a great manager that workedwith me like these are the areas I
need help, and I think theseare my best skills. And if you
follow that, most logical people,if I'm gonna assert, if you're asking
me out as my boss, we'retell the what do you want to do?
In twenty four most logical people aregoing to assert things that they feel
passionate about, things they think they'regood at. Now I'll be clear you
(32:29):
as a manager, you're still underwritingthat objective. You're still setting the quality
standard. But by truly asking ifit's genuine, hopefully you remove the resentment
like you never asked me, andif you never ask, I'm never gonna
tell, right, So you removethat standstill second, hopefully you appreciate so
that the metamorphos. Then as amanager, if my hands come through,
(32:52):
is each person and your team respectfullyis a unique puzzle piece. It's like,
Okay, Allan is dynamic, hehas international skills, he likes to
travel, whatever this may be.How do I align you know, the
different people on the team such thatI'm listening to them where they're passionate.
(33:14):
I now demandger, well, howdo I Alan fits in here? We're
going to pivot sue to hear whateverit may be. But it's just a
really different challenge and it really removesthe delegation because delegation implies authority and again
asking saying here's what we are tryingto achieve, we as a team.
(33:36):
You know, we're trying to growtwenty five percent, and where would you
like to lean in? And thenthe next thing, back to your one
on ones, is that's a criticalthing because it can be awkward and sometimes,
as I talk about in my book, it could be most awkward with
people you're closest to because we playpick a ball on the weekends, but
I'm the ball. All these kindof things. But then the dialogue can
(33:59):
be like, Alan, you toldme, hey, you really want to
expand the European markets for us.That's great, you know, I know
you're capable, and so on.It's been a little slow when the start
of the year. How can Ihelp you? What do I you know,
what do we need to do?So it's one they can gain an
appreciation from you because it's things theysaid they want to do and you're trying
(34:20):
to help. So I'll pause there. But hopefully that makes some sense.
It makes great sense. And interestingly, hope we have a question that is
coming in this One says I've beena manager at a Fortune five hundred company
for over ten years. How doesthe book approach the often delicate topic of
(34:40):
managing upwards and what practical advice doesit provide for navigating complex power dynamics?
And this is from Jonathan in NewYork City. Johnathan, excellent question.
So here first and foremost for amanager, my mindset is in an ethical
context, doing everything you can tohelp him or her be successful. Back
(35:07):
to visualization, that means your boss, him or her is in a little
wood cart and you're steadfastly pushing himup the hill. But here's the key,
not in a self boasting manner,but in an altruistic manner. Now
the next iteration of this right issimply be amazingly predictable. I have ten
(35:28):
essential steps to improving dynamically the relationshipwith you or i e. Managing your
manager in the world of unknown nodifferent than I was talking about before being
a better you. Rest assure yourmanager probably has more unknowns than they did
in the past. So it's reallyagain it's back to accountability. How can
(35:50):
you consistently be on time, consistentlydeliver the budget. Probably more important is
also avoid surprises. Be that personthat there's any expectations. First quarter you're
going to close this large deal andyou're looking out over the horizon and you
knock on your boss's door or emailor whatever the communication is saying, you
know, Alan, we're really tryinghard, but I wanted to bring this
(36:14):
to your attention. I'm concerned thatwe may not close this deal in Q
one and I want to, youknow, confide and give you the update
and see, you know what strategiesyou could, you know, help us,
because I don't think you know,if you're counting on this. We
had one hundred percent probability in thefunnel we're going to close. That's not
the that's not the situation. Soit's really again being predictable in every manifestation
(36:37):
they're off right, be the eyesand ears form, you know, a
core area of competence, and thisis the thought process. You're at a
fortune five hundred. So Jonathan,what are your boss's goals? You probably
know those. Then what are yourboss's bosses goals? And then we haven't
talked about your personal brand, butwho you are being true to you?
(37:01):
I call it the right angle rule? And then how do you purposefully make
sure the things you're leaning in onbeing a partner with your boss not only
help your boss, but help yourboss's boss. So that's a super compressed
answer. Maybe we can go intoit more after the break, but I
would just stress two words, amazinglypredictable, and it's your own personal accountability.
(37:27):
Do you know back to the lastthing I'll mention on the Sundays.
For me, it was my personalaccountability of what I achieved, and I
would in bullet point format send thatto my boss every Sunday. Here's what
we did, Here's things I'm lookingto do next week. Here's a couple
of things I need to talk toyou at some point, right And every
boss is different. You got tofind the cadence. But don't underestimate how
(37:51):
busy they are. That succinct messageis like okay for him or her,
they know Monday, whatever your roleis like, this is a quick snapshot
or in the military we call itsit rep of what's going on. What
advice would you give to someone juststarting their career or venturing into a new
one. Sure, so I thinkjust starting your career, it's a difficult
(38:15):
transition. If you're coming from theuniversity world. You know, demanding,
but it's a different structure. There'sa syllabus, you've been doing it for
four years, lots of pressure.But in the work world, depending where
you're entering, most likely it's goingto be a whole new different vocabulary,
(38:36):
almost like learning a foreign language.And what I've experienced, and I've had
the good fortune of working internationally,seeing some of the best and brightest out
of universities from around the world.So no doubt on the academic pedigree it's
there, but communication. Hopefully,if you're picking up a key theme that's
at the entry level of your careerall the way up to that more senior
(38:59):
level of career, never underestimate that. So I think the challenging part sometimes
when you're young in your career isyou get your first deliverable. Maybe you
understand about half of it. You'reprobably doing better than most because it's intimidating.
You're sitting with your project manager oryour boss or their boss, or
(39:20):
you're getting the brief and the inclinationis you want to accommodate in a pece.
So it's yes, yes, andthink, okay, yeah, I'm
on it. I walk out andI don't really understand everything, but I
displayed a good attitude. Again,you have to get the EQ awareness is
probably you know first and foremost ofjust really understanding Again, those situations going
(39:45):
to require kind of reading different people. You don't know. But here's my
first advice. Maybe there's some peers, some people closer to you. Have
that debrief. You know, I'msupposed to do this project or evaluate for
a company. What are the techniquesyou use? Really making sure that you
understand the mission. And then thenext part is is keeping your boss updated.
(40:10):
And again you have to find theright rhythm in something that some of
you may raise eyebrows, but Ireally believe in modeling, meaning really taking
note to the specific context or howpeople on emails. Some people want the
bottom line up front. There justdon't have much time. Some people want
you to stop by your office.Again, I don't know the medium.
(40:34):
You need to reach out, hopefullywith some colleagues that can help you.
But figure out a way to keepyour manager apprized of how you're doing.
I've had it happen to me unfortunatelytoo many times, where well intended people
young in their career, They're workinghard and I'm busy or traveling and then
(40:55):
I'm looking for that deliverable eye landand wherever and when it comes. That's
the first time I've seen it infour weeks. It's so far off the
mark that that's not a good situation, right, So it's making sure find
the right way, you know,be courageous enough to ask that alan,
(41:15):
just what's the most effective way,time efficient way I can keep you updated
on my project? You ask thatquestion, and it doesn't it doesn't come
natural, right, you're not challengingyour boss. Hope they're going to respond
in that whatever it may be.Keep your project manager briefed or hey,
send me, whatever it may be. Ask that question so at least you're
(41:37):
cognizant of knowing it's important to keepthe people asking me to do this informed.
And you're new in your career.Every company has its own culture.
How do they you know, format, what's the steps? Are you proving
a physics formula? Whether they wantto see all of the work or are
they happy to get to the youknow these things again, it's intimidating,
(42:01):
but my main point here, earlyin your career, make sure you understand
the mission, find the combination ofpeers, and then ask your manager what's
the best way to keep you informof the progress. And what I'm what
I get from that is is thatbe it in your your personal relationship or
(42:23):
be it in your business relationship.Communicate, Communicate, communicate, that's you
know, actually and ellen and thenright, it's it's communicate and then the
eq has to be high too,right, So it's it's that it's a
hard thing. And again I haveempathy, you know, young in your
(42:46):
career because you don't want to bebothersome and so on. So definitely don't
give them an update every hour onthe hour. That's maybe too much.
But communicate and then kind of findthat rhythm. But that's it. Find
that effective communication that's going to kindof work best for both you and your
your manager. I love it,and I wish that we had more time.
(43:07):
So what I do want to dois what is the best way that
people can get a hold of you, best way that people can get a
hold of the book. And Iknow that you're doing something special for people
that you know that buy it tomorrow, you know that order it tomorrow because
tomorrow is the launch date. Iknow you're doing something special. Share with
(43:28):
that because I love what you're doing. Sure, thanks, Alan. So
there's a couple of ways of givinga hold of me. Our firm is
exact Pathfinders, you probably see iton the screen, but it's e xe
Cpathfinders dot com. You can seeour website with our contact email which is
the same execpathfinders at gmail dot com. I am out there on social media,
(43:52):
predominantly in LinkedIn if you check outtalbot Stark. I actually have a
live LinkedIn event tomorrow nine am,so time noon now in the East Coast
for the announcement of my book witha really neat guy from Silicon Valley,
Ken Burke. So we've teamed upon some things, and I'm a veteran.
We didn't talk about too much aboutmy time in the military, but
(44:15):
it's a special place in my heartfor the Wounded Warriors Project. So tomorrow,
with my publisher, effectively books arediscounted about fifty percent, so nineinety
five for a paperback, fifteen ninetynine for a hardcover, and every book
sold tomorrow, I'm going to makea donation to the Wounded Warriors Project because
it's just a special place in myheart and it should, hopefully, you
(44:36):
know, be inspirational for all ofus because those days that I feel sorry
for myself, it helps him geta bit of perspective because there's people that
are you know, insurmountable challenges andthey are achieving those. So that's how
you get a hold of me tomorrow. If you know anything about Amazon,
it's all about momentum. Again,I genuinely think the book will be valuable.
(45:00):
It's step by step and practical.So if you're moved and want to
help change your life and your career, and maybe for others, go on
Amazon. It's elite performance for managers. Yes, and again it's not just
a book for business managers. Ithelps with everything. It's going to help
(45:20):
manage your life. Albert, thankyou so much for coming on and thank
you for everything that you're doing.Again, people ask me, they go,
you know what, why do youdo this show? And I said,
because I want to bring on peoplethat are making a positive difference in
the world, and this is howyou're doing it, and I much appreciate
it. Thanks Allen. Likewise,thanks thanks for having me and wishing everyone
(45:43):
that's done their journey and start applyingsome of the things we talked about today.
All right, for everybody out there, be good human beings and be
with us again next week on AnswersNetwork. That then the
Thank you for joining us, andwelcome to another edition of Answers Network.
I'm your host, Alan Cardoza.Now are you ready, Because if you
are, if you're ready to takecontrol of your career, your life and
destiny by becoming an elite performer,stay with us as we learn how.
In fact, text your friends withthis one. Because as fast as things
(00:29):
are changing, especially in how businessesare run successfully, we're going to get
a peek into the strategies that manypeople have paid very large amounts of money
to learn. We're going to previewour guests one on one executive coaching strategy
outline in his upcoming book, bythe way, it's released tomorrow now.
(00:52):
The book is Elite Performance for Managers, and we're going to discuss his actional
guide, consisting of three pillars hedeveloped for elite performance in any industry,
not only any industry, but inany part of your life. So joining
us with three decades of experience ininternational finance, Talbot Stark is the visionary
(01:17):
founder and CEO of exec Pathfinders,which stands as a beacon of transformation in
the realm of executive coaching worldwide.Now throughout its preparat proprietory, elite performance
pillars methodology, which we'll talk abouta little later, except exec pathfinders nurtures
(01:40):
professionals in reshaping their minds, careersand destiny. Talbot's academic accomplishments include a
CFA, a MBA from University ofCambridge Judge Business School, and a Bachelor's
of Science in Industrial Engineering from theUniversity of Wisconsin. Adison Talbot, Welcome
(02:01):
to Answers Network. Alan, Thankyou, really excited, excited for the
people joining, and really my purposeand we'll discuss that is effectively over my
forty years from my days in themilitary to international finance, really trying to
embellish and say here are the keylessons I learned. More importantly, here's
(02:23):
all the things I wish someone wouldhave told me along the way that you
can benefit. It took me fortyyears of trials and tribulations to try to
codify that, and that's what I'mreally excited about in my aim. And
we were talking before the show,as Alan's had a chance to read the
book to really give a practical stepstep guide that you can implement. So
my goal and hopefully we'll get intothat, Alan, but thanks for having
(02:46):
me as a guest today and thankseveryone for joining us. Well, you
know, and I mentioned, youknow in the introduction the three pillars,
and one of the things that Iliked was is the you know, in
breaking things down like this, itmade it much easier for me as the
reader to think about, oh,this is an area I think I get
(03:09):
a little more help and I kindof would focus in that area, which
I think is great because in thisday and age of everything's happening so quick,
I don't always have time to readeverything. So as I'm reading,
I'm going, yeah, okay,this is this is an area, spend
a little more time. And Ikind of skimmed through some areas I thought
maybe it wasn't, you know,as big a thing for me, But
(03:30):
I want you to know that Ithink that's a great idea and a great
fit for today's world. I couldn'tagree more. And you know, one
of the things that if we extrapolatethat for the moment, and I talk
about this in the book, sofor the audience, you know, the
three pillars, it's first and foremostbeing a better you, the best ROI
(03:53):
the best return on investment, andyou can achieve is investing in oneself.
And here the reality is that,and I want to be candid in my
book. First, I don't haveall the answers, but I've done my
best to at least give you tipsand lessons learned that I think will be
successful for you and your career yourhappiness if you apply them. As Alan
(04:14):
and I were talking about, familyis a big component because a career is
not just you, right, There'smany actors involved. But my point here,
which you kind of just trigger forme, scientific evidence. I was
a helicopter pilot in the US Army, so I used to think that I
was a very good multitasker. Wehad a webinar last week with an F
(04:36):
sixteen ACTI duty fighter pilot in Italy. However, here's the reality. The
cold on this truth is the humanbrain is not designed to be optimal with
a continued bombardment of information. Sojust a little takeaway, but for people
that are listening, here's one thing, and the scientific evidence is strong.
(04:56):
So first, my assumption that Iwas some excellent multitasker was categorically wrong.
That's not the optimal way your brainworks. So unplugging, you know,
making sure that there's times when youhave important things to consider twofold unplug,
you know, turn the phone off, wait till you hear the end of
the show, to turn your screensoff, but really get in that time
(05:19):
away. And it's amazing when youput your brain at ease and then focus
it and saying during this time,I'm not going to have any interruptions.
Here's what I want to focus on. Your ability. Your cognitive processes are
accelerated, so just not to diverttoo much. But that's something that's missed
(05:40):
today because we become dependent and alot of the news media is focused on
kids. Right, we see kids, we shake our ads. I have
two young adults, but that's notthe only ones that are captive to their
phones. It applies to probably manyof us here. So just one practical
takeaway. If you want to beelite, you need to unplug once in
a while, get perspective and reallyfocus at the task at hand. So
(06:04):
just a little free advice. Theresomething I really care about. Well,
and it's so funny that you wouldjump on that one first because of the
fact that that's one of the thingsthat grabbed me the most. Is this
whole thing of thinking that I canmultitask, and I have a different terminology
that I've used in the past.For those of us close to my age,
(06:27):
they'll get it. But at spinningpie plates, and I would say
exactly, my problem will be thatI'm spinning too many pie plates. And
for the younger people, there usedto be variety shows where at some point
in time they bring a guy on. He'd start at one end of the
stage, there'd be a table.We'd start spinning that pipe plate, and
he'd go all the way down andhe's spinning about twenty of them. By
(06:50):
the time he gets to the twentiethone, that first one is wobbling and
just about to fall, and heruns back as fast as he can.
He spins that one. And that'smy visual telling me I'm spinning too many
pie plates. I have to takesome of them and set them down or
they're all going to fall. Sobut when I was reading the book,
(07:11):
and I was going, okay,he's speaking to me, now, okay,
about about trying to do too manythings, about the same thing about
you know, turn things off,you know, back away from a lot
of the technology when you can.Anyway, they hit home. Now the
other the other part having to dowith the fact of the first pillar.
(07:34):
I love that you talk about managingyou. Okay, I think many of
us need to look inward first beforewe're in a position to lead others.
So share with us some of yourmanaging you strategies to become a better you.
Sure, no, thanks, thanks, Alan, that's the foundation,
right, So this should be inspirationalin that, honestly and candidly, there's
(07:59):
so much that we can do.Granted, there's a lot of things we
don't control in life, but manypeople, or I should say few people,
truly maximize the things they do control. So that's kind of me pounding
on the table in a good way, because if you're going to have personal
accountability, if you really truly wantto be elite, first and foremost,
(08:22):
it's that person you's see in themirror every day. You can work for
a young, dynamic company. Youcan be your own CEO or founder.
You can work for a fortune fivehundred, you can work for the government,
et cetera, et cetera. Youcan have amazing managers. I've been
blessed with many in my career.You can have HR partners, you can
have mentors, you can even havea coach. But here's the most important
(08:45):
thing. You and you alone areresponsible for managing your career. So first
you have to own it. Now, what do we need to do.
So one of the things I dowith any executive client I take on,
I ask them, respectfully to bea lawyer for the next two weeks,
with no conscious bias. Simply denotewhere you spend your time and how you
(09:07):
spend it. Every half an hour, spreadsheet, old school writing, whatever
suits you. If you want tobe elite, do that from the moment
you wake up and without fail,two weeks of observations. We'll get back
on a call like this and thepatterns you see and what things depending on
(09:28):
whatever context. I understand many ofus in the corporate world as meetings we
host or meetings we have to goto. But here it's the first first
goal. When we were talking aboutthis before the show, the first goal
is that today, laudably, peopleare focused on the task and helping the
(09:48):
firm. And the brain helps youbecause there's an objective and you work and
you achieve it. The endorphins kickin and you're doing good. But here's
the caution sign. Here's a yellowflag if you're on the racetrack, is
that first and foremost you can't beone hundred percent task or tactically focused,
even though and here's the tricky part, and I never wanted to put good
(10:11):
people in harm's way in their career. Meaning these are well intended, dutiful,
hardworking people, but no one's tappingin on the shoulder saying pause.
You need to unplug, get perspective, and spend five to ten percent of
your time strategically managing your career.Now, let me link a couple things,
(10:31):
because I'm going to dig fast.So I would for me, the
most valuable asset we have is time. We're all allotted the same every day
we get twenty four hours allen foryou, for me are loved ones.
So going through where do we spendour time in really critically analyzing that for
a two week period, you canmake changes. The first thing I would
(10:56):
advocate if you want to be eliteis carve out thirty minutes a week twice
to find that time when you canideally unplug and really strategically get some distance
and manage your career. So it'sadjusting your schedule now digging a little deeper
and being a better you. Mostof us can probably know where February and
(11:18):
twenty twenty four. If you're afiscal calendar year, you know your new
budget, you know the number,you know your targets, you know all
these things understood, But not everyone. And I have it on my phone.
What's your personal goals? I callit the live performance matrix, meaning
how what's the metric? How canI assess personally where I'm spending my time
(11:41):
if I don't know what's important tome? And I define that, I
hate you can be the best marksman. If you can't see the target,
you're not going to hit it.So and I try to keep things simple.
I love the work that MIT doesand it was quite consistent with the
things I learned in the military thaton average, most people cannot remember more
(12:03):
than three to five things related toa specific topic. So the quick homework
assignment. And now you've probably seenit in my book. And I'll be
open with everyone here in the audienceto find those things in your life,
those three three to five areas thatare most important to you. I'm not
prescriptive, it's just think about itfor me. I'll share for me it's
(12:26):
my faith, it's my family,my fitness in my career, and then
those are the rows, if youwill, and then next to that the
next column. I have three tofive objectives kind of on a six month
rolling basis for those four things,and it's just trying to keep it simple,
trying to minimize a number of platesyou have in here. Because it's
great on the Talent Show for thosethat remember back in the TV days,
(12:50):
but for your life. I believefocus yields results. So if you're starting
to put things together, you know, understand where you spend your time,
take a deliberate action to if it'simportant to you, then take time to
manage your career two half hour segments. If you're not investing that amount of
(13:11):
time in your career, I wouldquestion you, how successful do you think
you're going to be if you don'tspend any time to do it right.
Just like my putting game, Alan, when we get out and play,
you seem like a nice guy.My drive is respectable, my short game,
but you may or may not saysomething, but my putting game needs
some work. But how realistic isit for me to think my putting game
(13:35):
is gonna miraculously improve without any time. Same thing for your career. So
I said a lot there, Alan, So let me let me pause and
I'll hand it back over to you. Well, but and I think it's
it's a great point that many ofus don't put the amount of time that
we should. So yeah, attimes, and I know you mentioned the
(13:56):
fact that you talk about there's sciencebehind a lot of this, so you've
done a lot of research. Howmuch time do most people actually dedicate to
their career? And how much timeshould we be doing? Sure? Now,
good questions. And again with thecompanies or clients I work with,
(14:20):
first and foremost, there's a bigdifference between knowing and doing. Almost everyone
is we're talking good points, tellabout multitasking, plate spinning, Alan,
Right as we were talking, youknow, I know I should spend time
planning. I'm too busy, right, And there's always a pushback or you
don't know my schedule or any ofthe various excuses. Right, But again,
(14:43):
removing emotions, the only thing Ican say is how likely are you
going to improve if you're not dedicatingany time? And here here is a
little I think invaluable lesson to justreiterate how important time is. I call
it the five minute miracle, meaningunplug and set your phone or some timer
(15:07):
for five minutes. Try to dothis at the time of the day where
it's a bit more peaceful, there'ssome calm in your life, and do
what we mentioned before. Unplugged andthen focus on that topic. If you
finished listening to us today and youwant to say, you know what,
I'm going to brainstorm just with myselfthe next five minutes of what are the
(15:28):
important things in my life? Whatare the four three to five categories that
I want to focus on? Right, and you hit that start button and
wait and again, do it uncensored. Let brainstorm kind of if you're writing
or typing, whatever, or evenaudio whatever works best for you. And
when that five minute alarm goes off, you'll be amazed of what you can
(15:50):
accomplish if you're focused to get backto the science your brain. If you
set it up this way, andthe timer is important because it tells your
brain like, Okay, I amI have a very specific purpose and I
need to focus. I go throughall that alan back to your question.
Right, if you do it,and I guarantee if you do it the
(16:10):
way I just described. You willbe blown away of how much is up
there if you give your brain achance to focus. So again with the
career, I advocate a minimum offive to ten percent, And again I
talk about this in my book.We have kids, families, elderly.
Everyone has a different construct in theirlife. But for me, I think
(16:33):
it's achievable find that thirty minute segment. I did it twice a week.
And then for me what worked well. Every Sunday kind of after family activities,
before dinner, I had an hourwhere I did everything I just told
you. I went to my officeshut everything down. And that was in
the finance role. It was mymark to market. How am I doing
(16:55):
professing something, knowing versus doing youknow what? Last week we had a
client issue. I wasn't feeling sowell. A few things fell down,
No problem, I am aware.I'm taking the time to manage my career
and now I can to decide onsome deliberate action so that I'm going to
shift consciously next week where I needto focus more in my family. I
(17:17):
was traveling all last week. Sowhatever that may be, your partner,
your kids, whatever. So again, it's trying to do everyone on this
call, I'm sure has achieved significantsuccess. It's like elite athletes. What's
the difference between the hundredth ranked tennisplayer in the world and number one.
It's probably an infinitesimal different grip thatserves their tennis. At one hundred,
(17:42):
there serves one hundred and five andthe next guy's one hundred and ten with
their different slice or whatever it maybe. And you can continue in every
sport. So when I look atelite performance in our careers, it's the
same mentality. Looking at the timeyou spend in your career. Commit to
making a small change in your scheduleso you can free this process up and
(18:04):
if you do it consistently, right, I underline that commit. If you're
telling me you can only afford fifteenminutes, I just try to five minute
rule. Even fifteen minutes is significantlybetter than zero. Right. So my
main message is find something practical,find something achievable, and then it's back
(18:25):
to that person in the mirror,hold yourself accountable. I love it.
And along these lines, let's talkabout a balance a little bit. And
from my standpoint as somebody who hasworked with parents, and much of what
you've been doing has been more soon the business side. So I found
myself running into very very high levelbusiness people who were spending zero time with
(18:52):
their family. And I'll tell aquick story is that I had a gentleman
who who had run away and he'dbeen abusing drugs and so on. And
I flew in to meet with themand went in and he started immediately ranting
about He said, well, you'resupposed to be the damn expert, so
you tell me what the hell isgoing on in his head. I have
(19:15):
given him everything, and I havedone this, and I have done this
and so on and so. Andhe's going through just yelling, you know
about you know the fact that he'sungrateful and and all these things and stuff.
And I said, Sir, Isaid, I go, how many
vice presidents do you have working foryou? And he looked at me.
(19:36):
He went, I don't know.Thirty. He goes, what the hell
does that have to do with anythinglike that? And I said, I
said, you've just explained that youhave given your son everything and that now,
at fifteen years old, you haveset some parameters because it got out
(19:56):
of control. He goes, yeah, So and I go, what would
your thirty vice presidents do if youall of a sudden changed the rules on
them, would they leave? Andhe looked at me, and I glanced
over the corner. Out a cornerof my eye, I can see his
wife, and she went like thisbecause I think she thought he was going
to hit me. I mean itwas like she just thought, nobody talks
(20:19):
to him like this. But heafter he got through his rage and he
went, Okay, can you justfind him. We'll work on that other
stuff later. Can you just findhim? But what I realized, you
know, was was that you knowhe has you know, he's incredibly successful,
(20:41):
and he has thirty vice presidents workingfor him, but he knew nothing
about what was going on in hisfifteen year old son's head. So let's
now talk about balance and as yousaid, you know, faith, family,
career, all of these things andhow we can balance them to lead
an optimal life. No, Alan, thanks for sharing that right and with
(21:08):
a person and the family you're havingthe discussion with. I am slow to
make judgment because I think with goodintent, much ill can be done right.
I'm sure that person was in thatthought process. I'm providing for my
family. I'm working hard. Iwant him to go him or her to
(21:30):
go to school. I'm providing thethings I didn't have. Again, all
well intended, and I'm sure Idon't know the person, but I'm sure
in this thought process, those arelaudable things to do and probably sacrificing.
Right. So it's a little bitback to the why the life performance matrix
as I call it. And againit's simple. It's just defining what's important
(21:53):
to you to I have it,right, if you were standing behind me,
Allan, it's right on my wallhere because I need these constant reminders.
So I think you know, theadvice is, you know, almost
back to what we're talking about inmanaging your career. And it's hard.
(22:14):
I have a twenty one year oldand seventeen year old, right, you
know, I'm not sure I wouldsay probably no one knows exactly what's going
on in anyone's head. But it'salmost the same principles. And I'm not
a perfect father either, right,but I've made some choices to try to
be congruent or if you will,hold myself accountable. It's and again you
(22:37):
have to believe it, right,If I, professor, I believe that
I think my family's important to me, right, So then if it's back
to where do I spend my time, and there's ways, okay, quality
time or whatever, but there's there'sways. Again, if this is important
to me and I'm in control ofmy life. The executive that you're he's
obviously competent individual in the corporate rookplace. So it's like if you make
(23:02):
those decisions, I'm sure he hasa secretary and I'm sure to see him
or her. They have to havemeetings, I doubt randomly, there's no
meetings book and people just come tothat probably doesn't happen, right, So
it's kind of that same thing ifyou need to try to if you're the
relationship with your children are important,then make that commitment to be flexible,
(23:26):
but make a commitment on what's goingto work with them, right, try
to find that dialogue. Some ofthe things we do with their family,
this is the Stark family. Youcan make your own judgment. But we
got a lot of people go ina lot of directions, you know,
so we try to have a littleconference call. Maybe some of you might
think that's ridiculous, but we're dynamicand going places. But again, I
(23:48):
try to make it something that it'sthat I know, everyone knows how to
use the phone, we find acommon time and there's no excuse for ry
unless there's an emergency. So II think it's you know, in sharing
that story and onen it's deliberate actions, right, take those if the workplace,
(24:08):
your success, your professionalism, youraspiration to be elite as a manager
in the corporate world, take someof those same qualities. I'm sure if
you're successful, you don't skip meetings, you don't show up late. Right,
It's no different with your family ifyou know, if they don't see
(24:32):
that commitment or prioritization, you know, no different than bosses that kind of
continually cancel the opportunity when you wantto have a meeting with them. How
do you feel? And it's youknow, how does the other see oneself?
Right? So my advice is justactions speak louder than words. If
that's helpful, No, it's incrediblyhelpful. And as you were saying that,
(24:53):
the you know, I was kindof thinking of like a catchphrase type
of thing, which is, youknow, what if if as a manager,
if you couldn't imagine yourself just skippingmeetings, then don't skip your kids
ballgame, then don't skip their theirballet recital. Don't skip those things either.
(25:15):
How about one of the things thatI really liked in the book because
I hadn't thought about it before,which was you talk about delete delegation and
replace with partnering. Okay, Ithink it's a great concept, uh so,
And I realized that it's something thatI've done naturally, but I never
(25:36):
thought of it that way. Soyou know, share how you came to
realize this and the best way thatpeople can implement it in their own life.
Sure, thanks Soullan. So.Uh. I think my experience in
writing a book, it's been reallyinteresting. But I my aim was I
needed to let my guard down.Right. There's colleagues I've worked with for
(25:59):
two decades I'll be reading my bookor seeing this interview. But I,
again, I wanted to be genuineand authentic, So I'll tell you that
I would say in the first youknow, decade or so of my career,
I struggle with delegation, right,not that I didn't understand what it
meant. And I also knew implicitlyI can't do everything. So I was
(26:22):
putting, if you will, myown ceiling on my career advance. But
however, even understanding the consequences,I struggled. What did I struggle,
at least for me, is thathow could I how can I manage the
quality control? And you know,you're kind of short these options. If
I'm running the group or the teamor whatever. If I'm responsible, I'm
(26:45):
responsible for the quality. So howdo I mitigate delegating but ensuring that we
have consistent quality control? And itwas I would say kind of more in
the mid part of my career whereI talk about a moment of truth.
At this time, I was,you know, managing a global sales force
and be in my office. Iwas in finance, and it would happen
(27:11):
unfortunately, you know, good working, earnest people would depart for some other
opportunity. But before they were leaving, my assistant would say, Joe wants
to see you, you know,before he leaves, so you can anticipate
what the meeting. Most likely,I call it the moment of truth because
at this point we tried to retainthe individual, went through all those steps,
(27:33):
but they made their decision. Soit's a social moment, if you
will. So there'd be the ubiquitousreally things depending on maybe I hired them.
We're part of the hiring process andwe work together. So hey,
really thank you for the opportunity,your support, love the time at the
bank. We can all anticipate thebutt, right, So all the platitudes
and then there's the butt. Andthis is what troubled me, honestly,
(27:57):
you know, eight nine times outof ten whatever that answer was, is
like, in a realistic time frame, we could have accommodated that for someone
we wanted to keep. So howdid we get to this point? And
that's where I realized, back tounfortunately that person in the mirror, you
know, I was to blame inthat the quality of the dialogue that somehow
(28:21):
my team, myself, I didn'tput this person in a position of comfort.
To be honest, we never understoodor had a form where something maybe
ellen to your point, very importantto their family. I have a couple
of clients dealing with these things rightnow, families paramount. If I never
set up a situation where like,how's everyone doing, you know, and
(28:44):
so on, well, my motherin law is really ill. It's causing
a lot of stress. If not, if I never open up that opportunity
to keep it in. They're focusedon their job. They're a good employer,
but at some point there's a fracture, right, and maybe just what
we were talking Aboutlan, they're trulytrying to put their family first, so
they're at odds. They don't feelcomfortable to talk to Talbot about the situation,
(29:07):
so they see the only choice isgoing somewhere else. Right, So
I said, boy, how dowe you know this is in back again?
Looking being honest with myself, I'mlike, okay, Well, as
the commander in the military or themanager in the workplace, I'm failing because
I'm not investing the time, I'mnot making putting people in the situation of
(29:30):
comfort, to be honest, becauseall of us have these conflicts children as
you're just you know, talking aboutparents, all these different things. So
I made I call it my goldendecade in my career to try to pivot
and make a conscious choice. First, as you probably saw in the book,
ask and then listen a little roleplay, right, we can change
(29:52):
the context. But to give youexample, so hopefully comes home February.
Let's assume we're a year and Alan, you just saw we came out of
the town hall and we budgets forour team are up twenty five percent in
revenues top line. There's no waywe're going to achieve this unless I really
ensure everyone and the team is leaninginto their strengths. So listen to Alan.
(30:15):
I always want to know from you. You know, you have amazing
international network. I think you youknow, for my observation, that's a
strength. But tell me, Alan, how do you think you can best
contribute to the team's success. Whereare you most passionate? And please feel
free to include things that you neverfelt before because we didn't ask that you
(30:36):
wanted to contribute, but you justdidn't feel it was your place, so
you know, And it's and thenas that pause right that it's not selling
or delegating or here's your Midwest regionand it's going from one hundred to all
these things that are very rote andlaudable in some ways. But if I'm
being clear, as I call it, it's giving. It's giving your team
(31:00):
member, your partner in those words, are select purposefully giving them the microphone
or the pen you write down.So many things have changed, you know,
Alan, could you just write downwhat you think your job description is?
And every time you do that,you'll find out they're doing a lot
of different things. Right, let'stalk about that, or I'm passionate about
this, or simply just asking themwhere your best aligned? So what do
(31:23):
you achieve? There's a few things. One if you sincerely ask this,
don't ask it a few weeks beforethe bonus. Don't ask it a few
weeks before the review, because you'renot going to have genuine dialogue. Be
purposeful if you can, even outof the workplace it's a morning breakfast or
whatever, put someone at ease.And obviously, hey, you share in
(31:44):
your style, share your own struggles. For me, I can tell you
I had a lot of energy,tenacity. I lived and breathe the client
business. But I needed in lockstepa COO who could implement the processes to
hold me accountable, to hold usaccountable so we could achieve what we were
saying. That was a weakness.Here's where I could lean in. And
(32:04):
I had a great manager that workedwith me like these are the areas I
need help, and I think theseare my best skills. And if you
follow that, most logical people,if I'm gonna assert, if you're asking
me out as my boss, we'retell the what do you want to do?
In twenty four most logical people aregoing to assert things that they feel
passionate about, things they think they'regood at. Now I'll be clear you
(32:29):
as a manager, you're still underwritingthat objective. You're still setting the quality
standard. But by truly asking ifit's genuine, hopefully you remove the resentment
like you never asked me, andif you never ask, I'm never gonna
tell, right, So you removethat standstill second, hopefully you appreciate so
that the metamorphos. Then as amanager, if my hands come through,
(32:52):
is each person and your team respectfullyis a unique puzzle piece. It's like,
Okay, Allan is dynamic, hehas international skills, he likes to
travel, whatever this may be.How do I align you know, the
different people on the team such thatI'm listening to them where they're passionate.
(33:14):
I now demandger, well, howdo I Alan fits in here? We're
going to pivot sue to hear whateverit may be. But it's just a
really different challenge and it really removesthe delegation because delegation implies authority and again
asking saying here's what we are tryingto achieve, we as a team.
(33:36):
You know, we're trying to growtwenty five percent, and where would you
like to lean in? And thenthe next thing, back to your one
on ones, is that's a criticalthing because it can be awkward and sometimes,
as I talk about in my book, it could be most awkward with
people you're closest to because we playpick a ball on the weekends, but
I'm the ball. All these kindof things. But then the dialogue can
(33:59):
be like, Alan, you toldme, hey, you really want to
expand the European markets for us.That's great, you know, I know
you're capable, and so on.It's been a little slow when the start
of the year. How can Ihelp you? What do I you know,
what do we need to do?So it's one they can gain an
appreciation from you because it's things theysaid they want to do and you're trying
(34:20):
to help. So I'll pause there. But hopefully that makes some sense.
It makes great sense. And interestingly, hope we have a question that is
coming in this One says I've beena manager at a Fortune five hundred company
for over ten years. How doesthe book approach the often delicate topic of
(34:40):
managing upwards and what practical advice doesit provide for navigating complex power dynamics?
And this is from Jonathan in NewYork City. Johnathan, excellent question.
So here first and foremost for amanager, my mindset is in an ethical
context, doing everything you can tohelp him or her be successful. Back
(35:07):
to visualization, that means your boss, him or her is in a little
wood cart and you're steadfastly pushing himup the hill. But here's the key,
not in a self boasting manner,but in an altruistic manner. Now
the next iteration of this right issimply be amazingly predictable. I have ten
(35:28):
essential steps to improving dynamically the relationshipwith you or i e. Managing your
manager in the world of unknown nodifferent than I was talking about before being
a better you. Rest assure yourmanager probably has more unknowns than they did
in the past. So it's reallyagain it's back to accountability. How can
(35:50):
you consistently be on time, consistentlydeliver the budget. Probably more important is
also avoid surprises. Be that personthat there's any expectations. First quarter you're
going to close this large deal andyou're looking out over the horizon and you
knock on your boss's door or emailor whatever the communication is saying, you
know, Alan, we're really tryinghard, but I wanted to bring this
(36:14):
to your attention. I'm concerned thatwe may not close this deal in Q
one and I want to, youknow, confide and give you the update
and see, you know what strategiesyou could, you know, help us,
because I don't think you know,if you're counting on this. We
had one hundred percent probability in thefunnel we're going to close. That's not
the that's not the situation. Soit's really again being predictable in every manifestation
(36:37):
they're off right, be the eyesand ears form, you know, a
core area of competence, and thisis the thought process. You're at a
fortune five hundred. So Jonathan,what are your boss's goals? You probably
know those. Then what are yourboss's bosses goals? And then we haven't
talked about your personal brand, butwho you are being true to you?
(37:01):
I call it the right angle rule? And then how do you purposefully make
sure the things you're leaning in onbeing a partner with your boss not only
help your boss, but help yourboss's boss. So that's a super compressed
answer. Maybe we can go intoit more after the break, but I
would just stress two words, amazinglypredictable, and it's your own personal accountability.
(37:27):
Do you know back to the lastthing I'll mention on the Sundays.
For me, it was my personalaccountability of what I achieved, and I
would in bullet point format send thatto my boss every Sunday. Here's what
we did, Here's things I'm lookingto do next week. Here's a couple
of things I need to talk toyou at some point, right And every
boss is different. You got tofind the cadence. But don't underestimate how
(37:51):
busy they are. That succinct messageis like okay for him or her,
they know Monday, whatever your roleis like, this is a quick snapshot
or in the military we call itsit rep of what's going on. What
advice would you give to someone juststarting their career or venturing into a new
one. Sure, so I thinkjust starting your career, it's a difficult
(38:15):
transition. If you're coming from theuniversity world. You know, demanding,
but it's a different structure. There'sa syllabus, you've been doing it for
four years, lots of pressure.But in the work world, depending where
you're entering, most likely it's goingto be a whole new different vocabulary,
(38:36):
almost like learning a foreign language.And what I've experienced, and I've had
the good fortune of working internationally,seeing some of the best and brightest out
of universities from around the world.So no doubt on the academic pedigree it's
there, but communication. Hopefully,if you're picking up a key theme that's
at the entry level of your careerall the way up to that more senior
(38:59):
level of career, never underestimate that. So I think the challenging part sometimes
when you're young in your career isyou get your first deliverable. Maybe you
understand about half of it. You'reprobably doing better than most because it's intimidating.
You're sitting with your project manager oryour boss or their boss, or
(39:20):
you're getting the brief and the inclinationis you want to accommodate in a pece.
So it's yes, yes, andthink, okay, yeah, I'm
on it. I walk out andI don't really understand everything, but I
displayed a good attitude. Again,you have to get the EQ awareness is
probably you know first and foremost ofjust really understanding Again, those situations going
(39:45):
to require kind of reading different people. You don't know. But here's my
first advice. Maybe there's some peers, some people closer to you. Have
that debrief. You know, I'msupposed to do this project or evaluate for
a company. What are the techniquesyou use? Really making sure that you
understand the mission. And then thenext part is is keeping your boss updated.
(40:10):
And again you have to find theright rhythm in something that some of
you may raise eyebrows, but Ireally believe in modeling, meaning really taking
note to the specific context or howpeople on emails. Some people want the
bottom line up front. There justdon't have much time. Some people want
you to stop by your office.Again, I don't know the medium.
(40:34):
You need to reach out, hopefullywith some colleagues that can help you.
But figure out a way to keepyour manager apprized of how you're doing.
I've had it happen to me unfortunatelytoo many times, where well intended people
young in their career, They're workinghard and I'm busy or traveling and then
(40:55):
I'm looking for that deliverable eye landand wherever and when it comes. That's
the first time I've seen it infour weeks. It's so far off the
mark that that's not a good situation, right, So it's making sure find
the right way, you know,be courageous enough to ask that alan,
(41:15):
just what's the most effective way,time efficient way I can keep you updated
on my project? You ask thatquestion, and it doesn't it doesn't come
natural, right, you're not challengingyour boss. Hope they're going to respond
in that whatever it may be.Keep your project manager briefed or hey,
send me, whatever it may be. Ask that question so at least you're
(41:37):
cognizant of knowing it's important to keepthe people asking me to do this informed.
And you're new in your career.Every company has its own culture.
How do they you know, format, what's the steps? Are you proving
a physics formula? Whether they wantto see all of the work or are
they happy to get to the youknow these things again, it's intimidating,
(42:01):
but my main point here, earlyin your career, make sure you understand
the mission, find the combination ofpeers, and then ask your manager what's
the best way to keep you informof the progress. And what I'm what
I get from that is is thatbe it in your your personal relationship or
(42:23):
be it in your business relationship.Communicate, Communicate, communicate, that's you
know, actually and ellen and thenright, it's it's communicate and then the
eq has to be high too,right, So it's it's that it's a
hard thing. And again I haveempathy, you know, young in your
(42:46):
career because you don't want to bebothersome and so on. So definitely don't
give them an update every hour onthe hour. That's maybe too much.
But communicate and then kind of findthat rhythm. But that's it. Find
that effective communication that's going to kindof work best for both you and your
your manager. I love it,and I wish that we had more time.
(43:07):
So what I do want to dois what is the best way that
people can get a hold of you, best way that people can get a
hold of the book. And Iknow that you're doing something special for people
that you know that buy it tomorrow, you know that order it tomorrow because
tomorrow is the launch date. Iknow you're doing something special. Share with
(43:28):
that because I love what you're doing. Sure, thanks, Alan. So
there's a couple of ways of givinga hold of me. Our firm is
exact Pathfinders, you probably see iton the screen, but it's e xe
Cpathfinders dot com. You can seeour website with our contact email which is
the same execpathfinders at gmail dot com. I am out there on social media,
(43:52):
predominantly in LinkedIn if you check outtalbot Stark. I actually have a
live LinkedIn event tomorrow nine am,so time noon now in the East Coast
for the announcement of my book witha really neat guy from Silicon Valley,
Ken Burke. So we've teamed upon some things, and I'm a veteran.
We didn't talk about too much aboutmy time in the military, but
(44:15):
it's a special place in my heartfor the Wounded Warriors Project. So tomorrow,
with my publisher, effectively books arediscounted about fifty percent, so nineinety
five for a paperback, fifteen ninetynine for a hardcover, and every book
sold tomorrow, I'm going to makea donation to the Wounded Warriors Project because
it's just a special place in myheart and it should, hopefully, you
(44:36):
know, be inspirational for all ofus because those days that I feel sorry
for myself, it helps him geta bit of perspective because there's people that
are you know, insurmountable challenges andthey are achieving those. So that's how
you get a hold of me tomorrow. If you know anything about Amazon,
it's all about momentum. Again,I genuinely think the book will be valuable.
(45:00):
It's step by step and practical.So if you're moved and want to
help change your life and your career, and maybe for others, go on
Amazon. It's elite performance for managers. Yes, and again it's not just
a book for business managers. Ithelps with everything. It's going to help
(45:20):
manage your life. Albert, thankyou so much for coming on and thank
you for everything that you're doing.Again, people ask me, they go,
you know what, why do youdo this show? And I said,
because I want to bring on peoplethat are making a positive difference in
the world, and this is howyou're doing it, and I much appreciate
it. Thanks Allen. Likewise,thanks thanks for having me and wishing everyone
(45:43):
that's done their journey and start applyingsome of the things we talked about today.
All right, for everybody out there, be good human beings and be
with us again next week on AnswersNetwork. That then the
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