Episode 284 | Happiness Is Free (But Not Effortless) | Guest: Eunice Atuejide - Authentic Talks 2.0 with Shanta

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, guys, Welcome back to Authentic Talks. My name is
Chante Generally, and I am your host. I'm excited that
you guys are tuning in today because we are talking
about happiness. Today's guest is a mindset coach. She's an
author and a former presidential candidate. On this episode, We're
gonna have a good time. You guys were talking about happiness,

(00:21):
and I know that there has been a lot of
recent things happening here in the in the United States,
and we've had so much going on over the past
couple of weeks that it is befitting that we talk
about happiness. Because in a world where hatred kenny repped
into violence like the recent shooting, it's easy to feel powerless, afraid,

(00:45):
overwhelmed by anger, and even a sense of stress and
anxiety setting in. But what if even then, happiness is
still possible. In today's episode, Eunice reminds us that happiness
isn't about the absence of suffering, but that it is
more about the courage to remain hopeful and true to

(01:09):
our authenticity even in the darkest moments. Because where we
focus our energy on fear, division or choosing connection and
purpose their lives are power to heal, grow and find
joy again. You guys, I'm excited to have Unis come

(01:30):
on today and talk about this mindset because we do
realize that mindset is everything. Before we dive in with
today's episode, I do want to take a moment, you guys,
to definitely welcome you to the show and to extend
that open invitation for you to come back again and again.
And if you have not had an opportunity to subscribe

(01:52):
to the show, please hit that subscribe button. That way
you will not miss an episode once I upload a
show A right, you guys, Let's go ahead and dive
on in. When introducing our guests of the hour, today's
conversation is one you don't want to miss. My guest,
Unice is a multi jurisdictional solicitor, mindset coach, author, and,

(02:16):
as I mentioned, a formal presidential candidate who brings a
powerful perspective on resilience, authenticity, and what it really means
to live in alignment. Her new book, Happiness Is Free
but Not Effortless, challenges the idea that happiness is out

(02:37):
of reach and instead shows us it begins within. In
this episode, Unice opens up about her journey from growing
up in the ghetto in Nigeria to leading in global boardrooms,
the power of showing up authentically even in spaces that
demand conformity, and why ego not conflict is often our

(03:01):
biggest enemy. This is a story of reinvention, courage, and
choosing joy no matter what life brings. Let's dive on in.
Please welcome Unice at True Today two Authentic Talks two
point zero Authentic Talks is all about authentic conversations. This

(03:26):
show is all about growth, love, respect, success, mind, body
and spirit. If you're looking to grow and become your
authentic self, then this is the podcast for you, and
I am your host. Chante. Welcome to the show. Hi,
Yunis Welcome to the show. I'm super excited to have

(03:47):
you here. I've been waiting a while to talk with you,
and I'm excited for our listeners to learn all about
you and to learn about your new book that you
have out as well. Before we dive in with our show,
can I have you introduce yourself to our listeners.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
Yes, thank you so much, Chantey. My name is Uni Togday.
I'm a multi jurisdictional solicitor, so I practice law in
Nigeria and in the UK. I'm a coach. I do
a lot of mindset, transformational Liza coaching. I'm an awful
as he lightly mentioned as we started. My latest book,

(04:24):
Happiness Is Three, was released in June. I mostly coach
high achievers and I help them to figure out the
next steps, get clarity, restore balance in their lives, and
reconnect with their three purpose so they can be happy
and do everything they want to do with their lives
from a place of alignment.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
I love that and we definitely need that right now
because we have a lot that's been going on where
people are feeling like happiness is supposed to not be effortless.
You know, it's where it's supposed to be, Like we're
it just comes automatically. So I absolutely love the title
of your book, Happiness is Free for that effortless. Can

(05:09):
you share what inspired you to write your book and
why this message fills urgent right now?

Speaker 2 (05:16):
Amazing? Thank you so much for the opportunity. I come
from a background of serious slack. You wake up and
you don't know where you're gonna get the next food,
You don't know if you're gonna be able to sleep
tonight because if it rains, there's water all over. You
can't find a dry here to put your head. I
have to walk to school barefoots, and the sun is

(05:36):
gonna mess up your foot. There was that true complete
thinning or hop joy. The future is gonna be better.
Tomorrow is coming, and tomorrow is gonna be better than today.
And I've always had that even as I face challenges
all through my life and rest assured there were many

(05:56):
traumas upon traumas and all that I never lost. I
always knew that tomorrow would be better. I always had
that confidence that everything I'm doing today is gonna help
tomorrow be better. And then coming out to this Western
world way, to my mind, everything works, everything is perfect,
like people have huge opportunities, and in seeing people suffering,

(06:19):
depressed to stay down and all that, and I'm like
trying to understand. I come into the courtroom and people
are fighting over things are shrug like just shrug it off, like, oh,
come on, big deal, And it's costing millions to get
through that litigation, and everybody's stressed up and tired, that frustrated,

(06:40):
and at the end of the day, even the people
who win the case are not happy, They're not satisfied.
It took too much and it didn't feel as good
as they expected it to feel when they go on
the other side. So I realized that too many people
are living in the negative, like they're seeing all the
bad things in life, in society, in the world, and

(07:03):
they are refusing, in my opinion, to see all the
amazing things in all those same situations where they're only
focusing on the negative. Right there, I am seeing, wow,
like this is much better that way I'm coming from,
and I would rather have the natary in any day
than what I came from. So realizing all that, and

(07:26):
having been in several different rooms in my life, I
said to myself, Okay, start to take this message out
and help people be less interested in the negative and
more interested in the positive, because you can be happy
even in the worst situations of your life. You would
always find something that is going well. And if you

(07:46):
focus more all the things that are going well, it
gets better. Help more people, bring more people to their
center so they can appreciate their lives at ease while
they try to go to wherever it is that.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
Do you think that growing up basically growing up in
the ghetto in Nigeria and now you're able to move
with ease and like boardrooms around the world, do you
think that it's the fact that you have that experience
where that felt like it was maybe the lowest point.
Like I'm wondering if, like here, we tend to take

(08:23):
things for granted in a way where the lack of appreciation,
because I find that people who have gone through some
struggles tend to be more focused on the glass being
half full versus half empty, And I'm wondering, I'm starting

(08:44):
to wonder if that has to do with the experiences
of not having everything just hand it to you. Because
you're highly educated, which means that you had to do
the work to get here. You had to do work
to get into the boardrooms and to be at your
level of intellect. And I'm sure that you had a

(09:07):
lot of natural intellect that was there that some people
referred to as common sense, but on top of that,
you have the education. And I'm just wondering, what is
your opinion. Do you think that it is the hardship
that had you to wear your or can anyone get there?

Speaker 2 (09:28):
I think anyone and everyone can get there. We all
have different stories. I come from hardship, But there are
other people who are very successful with this mindset of
joy who come from wealth, who come from a life
of absolute abundance, and they just recognize that they are
in that place and they're grateful for it. I know

(09:50):
a lot of people in my personal growth community who
were always from above average. I may be looking at
them like wealthy, but they baby looking at themselves like, oh,
they call them middle class or middle class. In my perspective,
especially when I think from that my ghetto level, middle
class is very wealthy. So when they tell me, oh,

(10:12):
it's that middle class, but they had a car, they
had a house, or they were growing up, they had
a huge garden, they could travel, they could go on holiday,
so they ever went to private school, But they are
still middle class to me. They come from riches, they
come from wealth, but they're grateful for what they have
and all the opportunities they have, and they're doing an

(10:32):
amazing job building a life of impact from that place.
So I don't think that it is too much about
the starting being difficult or coming from a place of
lack or hardship that informs this feeling and this sense
of gratitude I think it's just sometimes who we are

(10:55):
at the core of us, and sometimes the way we
choose to respond to the circumstances around us. Because I
have siblings and they're not like me. In fact, I
don't think any of them is like me, but I'm
want the kind. Yeah, So that's why I can't say

(11:17):
that it is the hatship that programmed me or helped
me to program myself or whatever it is into who
I am today. I think it's that connection to I
would say God, because I believe in God and allowing intuitively,
allowing my angels to guide me, and allowing that ork
known force that speaks to you to just lead you

(11:41):
wherever it's leading you, and having faith that is going
to lead you somewhere good. I think that's mostly what
it is for me, because I can't say that I
relied on the information I had. I didn't have a
lot of information. I didn't have exposure to the internet
the way I have now been in the West and
all I didn't have mentors, I didn't have parents who

(12:03):
even understood there left from their right, and I didn't
have teachers who were inspiring. So it was just that
into two guidance that I just basically followed and trusted
that it was going to lead me somewhere that I
was already dreaming up. I would say, I was a
very imaginative kid that could just sit down and visualize
things that I would want in my life, and then

(12:23):
I started believing that those things. I started a little
word I was. I was fourteen. I was ready earning money,
taking care of mom, dad's siblings, paying my own rent
and things like that. But my siblings were not interested
in the kind of things I was interested. If I
had the community, they thought I was insane child. So
you throw me away into the water because the water,

(12:46):
accorded today. They had this superstitious belief if we threw
a kid in the water that was not meant to
be here, they won't come back. So if they come back,
then they were meant to do it. Luckily I came
back because the water could have taken me away and
I would have drowned. Fortunately, the day they did mine,
I did what I de tired, brought me back beside

(13:08):
because I could have. I didn't know what am I
talking about? Iving the sea the attic, and somehow I
get back.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
Crazy because you have a message, You got a message
to share.

Speaker 2 (13:21):
Thank god.

Speaker 1 (13:22):
Yes, yes, I'm grateful for that message that you have.
You talk about like authenticity, authenticisms, you know, that's my word,
and I'm having the struggle to they and the mask,
you know, and like in industries like law and medicine
and finance, like wearing the mask, it's often seen as

(13:43):
necessary for success. And I want to talk with you
about like the what do you believe is the true
cost of that mask, both professionally and personally?

Speaker 2 (13:57):
Did you know? Yes? Thank you, yeah, thank you? To
my mind, this mask we wear, like, I'm not ever
sure you could live life without a mask. Like when
I think about it, I kind of feel it may
be necessary some degree to have this mask. But when
we wear masks that completely denies us of our identity,

(14:19):
that completely take away who we are. Because we are
trying to be somebody else in order to survive or
in order to be accepted. Then we're making a mistake
and we're exposing ourselves to all the dangers in mental
health and even physical and emotional health. And that's where
I come in. That's where I tell people, first of all,

(14:40):
discover who you are, your authentic self is welcome in
whatever space you are, whether it's in your home front
with your husband or boyfriend or partner or kids or
family or whatever, or in the boardroom with all these
people that need to make decisions that will affect multiple
lives and affect everybody's financial well being, or you are

(15:04):
in your professional space where you're looking after people, giving
advice or whatever. Who you are is exactly who they
are all looking for. So when you wear the mask
of somebody else, you're denying everybody the opportunity to benefit
from who you really are. So I tell everyone it
is important to be yourself, creaming and painting my face

(15:27):
with whatever it is I feel there's the caller for
me today, consideration for everybody else. Let me turne it down.
But it doesn't change who you are.

Speaker 1 (15:35):
You.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
You are still there, but you're trying to be considerate
of the circumstancesifying yourself. So wearing masks, I tell everyone,
is not necessary, but when you must limit it to
what is necessary to make sure that everybody is comfortable
without losing your throat. Your truth is the most important

(15:55):
part of your authenticity. Wear it every day. It's you,
it's who you are, and everything else you're doing will
just be aligned. Or I don't want to look too
weird wearing a pink hair, even though that's the color
I feel like doing today. But don't worry. I'll wear
my black or blonde or brown hair, but I'll still
feel pink inside. At least it works for me, because yes,

(16:15):
I come into some boardroom, some courtrooms in my colorfulice
can see I wear a lot of colors in my
colorful dresses sometimes, and I throw the judges off. I
threw the other lawyers off, I threw the even my clients.
I'm my gosh, she's looking so wow. I's going to
a party, but she needs to come a little gate.

(16:39):
I tell them, guys, relax, I go here to kick
you off your center. But I want you to understand
that this is how I want to handle this situation today,
and this is my most authentic self. And it doesn't
really distob you. Just relax. You get used to it.
It's unusual, I get it, but you get used to it,
and eventually you get used to it. Even the people

(16:59):
who pose the most end up being the ones who
begin to copy me, who begin to add a little
bit of color, even if it's just the tithe and
it's just the bull or whatever. They begin to express
themselves more authentically, and I like it. Come in there
and the dad devil. But even as the dad devil,
they look at it and like, okay, there's really nothing
wrong with it. It's not like it is composed ary

(17:21):
for us to all wear black and white. We do
it because we think that is what it should be.
She's coming in with her colorful dress. There's nothing against
it in terms of the rules. However, it's unusual. But
what's wrong with unusual? So the debate starts, and before
you know it, more people are coming in with colorful dresses,
feeling good, able to even help their clients better because

(17:45):
within themselves they're happier. And that's what I tell people.
Be yourself. You'll be surprised. You'll always be the attack,
but you'll be surprised that more people would come around.
Even if at the beginning they don't get it. Be
yourself would hold yourself together, keep going. They will come around,
and even when they don't come around, you will still

(18:05):
be happy because it's really about you. It's really out
the impacts you want to make. It's really aout the
lives you are touching positively and soon about living life authentically.
So that's on your last day, you're going to be
able to tell whatever that God or source you believing,
I did it and I did it my way. I
think that's very important for everybody.

Speaker 1 (18:26):
I love it. You're giving people permission to show up.
That is interesting how that is like when we don't
conform to what others believe is like the norm, and
we show up as our true selves. It is giving
other people permission to do the same thing, and.

Speaker 2 (18:41):
They eventually do. They eventually let go of the fear
of judgment, the fear of non acceptors. They eventually let go,
and they feel happier, they feel more complete, and they
go on to even do bigger things. So I know
that being your authentic self is it's so easy. It's
really easy. If yeah, you you're not bothering to think

(19:02):
about all the things you need to do to keep
the mask on or to keep the performance on or
keep acted. That frees you to really do more with
your life, with your time and have more fun doing it,
because who we are is fundamentally fun. And if we
can't come from their life, they post so much easier.

Speaker 1 (19:22):
I agree with you at one thousand percent. I read
a quote where they were they said something like I
was gonna I don't remember how it went verbatim, but
it was a quote somewhere along the lines of I
showed up as myself today because like Michelle, Obama's already taken,
or it was something along the lines you know, amazing, Yeah,

(19:43):
I love it. I love it now. I know that
you have seen conflict up close in law and in leadership.
Why do you why do you believe ego and not
conflict itself is a real is the real enemy.

Speaker 2 (19:57):
So most times we are so focused on what going
on in our minds and all the things we think
is right about our opinion and our requests or demand,
we do not take that moment to go into the
other person's perspective and try and see from their lenses.
What are they seeing, what are they feeling, what are

(20:17):
they what do they want? What do they really want?
And I think the moment we're able to do this,
and it requires quite a lot of emotional intelligence. When
people are able to stop themselves that belief that they're
right and everything they want is correct, and the way
they're going about it is right. When you take a
moment to pause and look at things from the other

(20:40):
person's perspective, you will be able to see things. You're
able to have insights. You're able to lessen your anger, aggression,
whatever it is your feeling, and whatever offense you feel
the other person has committed against you, You'll be able
to twist it and even start seeing how you could
do things better to help them not feel whatever it

(21:03):
is they're feeling that it's making them come at you
from your perspective. So I think it's having that emotional
debt to cross over to the other side that could
help sell so many of the conflicts we see with
the way like just easily, like people can shake hands
and there's lots of things that they fight them if

(21:24):
fully they could look from the other person's perspective.

Speaker 1 (21:28):
I love that chair. I've got to ask about this.
You were a presidential candidate. Yeah, can you tell us about.

Speaker 2 (21:36):
That's one of the most profound things I've done. And
because I want to be president of Nigeria. And when
I came back, i did law school and all that.
I started working with business, finances, entertainment and all that.
So I went to law school twenty twelve to twenty
fifteen and sixteen. So I did the UK one and

(21:56):
then I went to do the nineteria and law school.
And while I was in I just realized that there's
too much I could be done differently and assume many
ways to help the people, and the most crucial place
to start is from the leadership. We do not have
the right types of leaders for Nigeria, but we have

(22:17):
the right kind of people in Nigeria from Nigeria around
the world. We could turn things around. So I said, Okay,
the fastest way to do it is to go in
to the political setting and take hold of the mantle
of leadership. So I set up my political party and
I raised quite a lot of the young Nigerians that
I believed had a correct mindset, and we all went

(22:40):
in there, some of them reasing for House of Reps,
some of them reasoning for House of Assembly, Senate, governorship,
and I raised for the presidency. And the day is
I want to be President of Nigeria, and I've set
the year twenty forty seven for me to do it.
So that was the first time that was going to
do the race, mostly because I felt okay, it was

(23:01):
trying to add my voice to the port that you
expect to win it. However, I knew that coming through
was going to help many more young people to have
that bravery, to have that confidence, to be able to
come out and say, I want to help my country
and I can do it from the political setting, and
I'm throwing the hat in, I'm throwing myself into this.

(23:23):
I'm gonna do this, and I'm gonna do it like
full out. So that was important for me. It was
important to make that statement so that all the young Nigerians,
you believe, they're not young, but they have something to add,
they can come out and add it. And the experience
was on deliverably challenging because come on, I'd not iced
I'd not even been a politician. I did have any

(23:45):
clue what this was going to be like, and I
had no idea that people do not even support politicians
financially in Nigeria. Like when you come into politics, you
automatically believe that you are you've been embezzling funds from
the commonwealth, and then they don't support you. They believe

(24:06):
you you've stolen so much money. Now you want to
spend it to get powers so nobody gives you financial
support and all that. So I had to like physically
sell off everything I had to be able to race
for office. And then I was facing so much resistance,
like they don't want women leaders. Then see who are you?

(24:27):
Why would you think presidency of Nigeria was for you?
I was less than forty, so they had just changed
the law that allowed people who were less than forty
to race for the presidency. But there was just so
much I had this unnecessarily liberal view as far as
the people were concerned. They liked the conservative videos. They

(24:48):
didn't want people who were open about homosexuality, who didn't
think prostitutions should be banned or prostitute should be jailled,
and you know, like a little things that I've held
where all the things that made humanity unique and should
be allowed to play out in each person's life as
they choose. We're just to liberal for the average Nigerians.

(25:10):
And there was so much attack, but I got I
just kept going because I know what's what I would
like to see my country. They like, I know all
the opportunities that I believe we can harness to make
everybody's lives better. And I know that I can lead
the people to a place where they do the work
they're supposed to do for the people from a place

(25:32):
of love. And I was determined to do this. Yes,
I wasn't expecting that my very first risks I would
be president, but I knew that that is was the
first step towards that role and I was gonna get it.
And I already made a plan anyway for a thirty
year plan to get it, and this was the first step,
and then I'll keep taking those steps until I finally

(25:52):
get there. So it's a very very exciting, exhilarating, challenging
every mom I'm sure you can think of if heard it.
I haven't left this dream that I'm going to lead Nigeria,
so I keep going back. I did the House of
Representatives in twenty twenty three, and I'm looking to do

(26:13):
this Senate in twenty twenty seven. But this time I'm
strategizing to make sure that I actually win it because
there's so much there's so much they do in the
system that kind of shuts the women down. There are
some of the ladies who have come into office, Like
there's one her name is Natasha Bautie, and she's always
getting attacked, sexually harassed and all that in the office

(26:35):
of Senate and I'm like, that's not okay, and she
needs support. So I'm going in there to kind of
give us some backing and hopefully there will be more
both men and women ready to allow race embrace. Like women,
we are here, We're here to help make the country
better and we have a right to this seat. We
have come in here to buy. So I'm going in there,

(26:58):
by God's grace in twenty twenty seven to do more
work in the political arena in Nigeria.

Speaker 1 (27:05):
I love that. Yeah, she definitely could use your support.
So let's talk a little bit about reinvention and resilience
because you definite have both because you've been a lawyer,
You've been a political leader and continue and to lead.
You've been a business consultant, and now you're an author,
which is super exciting. What have you learned about reinvention

(27:30):
and the courage it takes to start over that you
could share with our listeners.

Speaker 2 (27:36):
I know the lot, it's a lot. What I tell
everyone is find your truth, know who you are, and
always come from that authentic place. Because where you know
who you are, it's easier to Yeah, your Internet guide,
that's your intuition, that place where you don't really know,

(27:58):
but you have that got that this is the next step.
Trust it because it's never gonna lead you as straight.
You may get through big challenges, you may have to
face obstacles bigger than you have faced, but in every
obstacle is the opportunity for growth. So once you have
that in mind, and you are following all those God

(28:19):
feelings and you're seeing all the obstacles as more and
more opportunities for you to lend and grow, you're never
gonna have it wrong. No matter where you end up,
you're gonna end up somewhere where you feel fulfilled and
grateful because that's where you came from abid issue. So
where you're coming from a place of fulfillment, gratitude, joy,

(28:42):
it doesn't go wrong because wherever you land, you're going
to see amazing things about wherever it is you land,
even when you didn't dream or see it or expect it.
You're going to land where you're supposed to be are
You're gonna know when you get there. This is where
I was supposed to be, This is where I was
coming to. I just didn't realize it or I didn't

(29:02):
see how it was playing out. You have to just
surrender to that, knowing that all will be well. So
I my low, my coaching my children. I didn't tell
you I have five kids, and I have a granddaughter
and one more coming all the way. And I tell
people I am juggling the job of a single mom.

(29:23):
I'm juggling the job of a lawyer. I'm juggling the
job of a coach, a speaker, an author and all that.
But I still have time to play goal. I still
have time to patty. I was out all night, I
patted till seven ay, and this morning I'm still on
this podcast at the level bit. And I'm not tired.
I'm not overwhelmed, I'm not stressful. I'm happy. I do

(29:48):
it all with ease because I just let things flow. Yes,
you have to balance, you have to take steps, you
have to do the effort. Like you say, happiness is free,
But there is some little little activity is you need
to do. You need to plan your time, You need
to put things in perspective. You need to set priorities.
You have to know what your heart is beating for

(30:09):
right now, then you can follow that making sure that
other things do not suffer. And it gets so easy
when you're coming from your authentic place. You could literally
do anything and have everything and feel comfortable, at ease
and with extra energy despite being so busy and being

(30:30):
so productive and being so I don't know, I believe
everybody can achieve this. Come from your authentic pace, come
from a place of arraignment, and do your best to
balance everything according to your desires. I know what everybody
else is doing, how much money they have, how many
houses or whatever. That's not your business. Your business is

(30:52):
what counts a success for you personally. If it is money,
then it is money, but that's your choice. Then you
can do the things you need to do to have
all the money you want to have. And you have
to know also there's no limit to how much money
you can have if that's what you want, and from
that mindset, go in and do the things you need
to do. Things are led to do, you know, like

(31:13):
to make sure you grow your money. And if it
is children, forget whatever the rest of the world is doing.
Focus on reason the best kids you can. I mean,
I look around me. My son has the most amazing girlfriend,
having the and she's the like next to me, the
best momney child can wish for. I love that is

(31:38):
not interested in if trying, money making, problem solving, whatever
it is that I do. That was like, oh yeah,
good luck, I'm not interested. She's an amazing moment. That's
what she loves and that's what she's doing, That's what
she's really good at doing. Why not know who you are?
Know what makes you take focus on it? Allow how

(31:59):
you be very very grateful that you did. It doesn't
matter how many things there are, family, partnership, whatever, put
them all together, give them their own time and have fun.

Speaker 1 (32:13):
I love this conversation because here a lot of people
are facing burnout and they feel tired and like I'm
done with this, and they're just ready to hang up
their hats.

Speaker 2 (32:24):
You know.

Speaker 1 (32:24):
And so I love your energy and the share you
know about especially when you talk about like if we
just focus on where we are and focus on ourselves,
because I think a lot of that, the burnout, some
of that is trying to keep.

Speaker 2 (32:40):
Up with society. Yes, it's not necessary, not necessary at all,
because the shocked when you achieve that day that all
of them have, you find that it doesn't feel good.
What's the point. But when you focus on the one
that matches to you, you discover yourself and you know
that one that would make you feel h this is

(33:03):
the life I want to live. Sometimes it's the most normal,
everyday thing, but you're truly happy. Sometimes I sit with
all they do is sing to animals. But they're doing
it with so much joy, so much commitment and love,
and they're making money doing that, and they're living good
lives just singing to animals. Why don't you just discover

(33:24):
that one that speaks to you and God, stop waiting
for somebody to prescribe the life you live. Do you
know you don't need that. You have permission from the
day you were born to design the life that is
best sitter to you and to believe it.

Speaker 1 (33:41):
I think that that's a good point because I noticed
that sometimes people will see, oh, well, Chantey, she's doing
this or units has like she's doing this, this and that,
and then they feel on me to copy that or
mimic it, and it's not they don't have longevity in
it or it doesn't really like move in that scene
way because they are. They're doing it because they see

(34:03):
that you're doing it, and you have success in it,
and so then they're like, well, I want to do
that too, but then like it doesn't work out, and
then they start to get discouraged. But I always try
to let them know exactly what you're saying. It's not
that you have to stay in your lane, like as
if that's not for everyone, but you definitely have to
be tapped into your true self so you can know

(34:23):
what is calling what is for you for real, because
then that's when you'll have that success, and you wouldn't.
You don't have to mirror what everybody else. You don't
have to copy someone else because you think that they're
successful in it, and so that you have to do
that thing too, Like how is she able to do that?

(34:44):
How is yunus able to have success.

Speaker 2 (34:47):
In that area?

Speaker 1 (34:48):
That area and that area. I got to do exactly
what she's doing. And at some point it's like it
becomes ridiculous when you're copying everyone else, you know, happyings,
especially when it's very close, you know, like you know
what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (35:06):
Why I encourage people to learn from everyone. It is
also extremely important that whatever you learn, you still bring
it in to who you are and only take the
bits that support who you are to get to the
destination you have chosen to go. It's the blind copying
and pasting that leads to that berner, that leads to

(35:27):
that frustration, that leads to that dissatisfaction. But if you're looking, oh,
Units is doing this, let me hear from her, how
is she able to do this? Do this, do this,
and do that. And now you go in here and
you hear it and you see it and you feel
it and you take it and you know, apply it
to your own desired journey. Okay, now I want to
be an astronaut, but I also want to dance, and
I also want to swim, and I also want to

(35:49):
play guitar. Those are your directions, those are the places
you want to go. But then you lend from Units
that balance is key and priority is key, and it's
important to balance in such a way that the things
that are more important to you come first, and as
you're doing those ones, you cannot add others and then

(36:09):
add more, and then when anyone becomes too difficult, delete
Because it's not supposed to drain you of energy. The
things you're doing that are impactful are also supposed to
feed your energy. It's supposed to give you more inspiration.
So it's a lot of work. It's all that you're
seeing you do this, do this, do that. Buty're supposed
to still inspire you to do more. When it's draining you,

(36:31):
you know you're not on the right part. You know
you're misaligned. That you need to change, you need to pivot.
That's what the people need to do. Coming in to
learn from Chante, from Unis and everybody else is extremely
important because nobody knows it all. However, the lessons you
take from everyone are designed for you to apply to
your own unique purpose, to your own life, and then

(36:55):
do the things you're doing in a way that feel
most aligned for you and copy on paste. They're gonna
get bunt out.

Speaker 1 (37:03):
Yes, I definitely agree with that. You know, going back
to politics, do you keep up with like the politics
of the United States? Everywhere I go, I hear so
much about it, where some people are like just really
feeling like our country here in the United States is
kind of going like taking a direction that they're not

(37:25):
happy with, and then some people have like the opposite.
It's always going to be like that. How do you
balance the politics with your everyday life when especially when
you know like you mentioned, like how women are not
accepted and things like that, like in Nigeria.

Speaker 2 (37:46):
It's easy for me because I know people will always
do the best they know to do with whatever tools
our resources are available to them. So I'm able to
keep my mind free from judgment and try and focus
on the things I need to achieve for myself and
the constituencies I want to serve. So the negativity, crazy

(38:10):
as they are, intense as they are, are knocked out.
I don't allow the negativity to impact my actions, my
peace of mind, and my decisions when I'm making decisions
and just really focused on the impact I want to
have and the smoothest journey I could create for that

(38:32):
impact I want to have, and I just go with that.
So when I see persists in the United States, even
everywhere you look, there's so much happening in the politics
that I mean, it's not where you would like to
see the world going right now. Was supposed to be
having a world where we are one, where we are
looking at for each other, where we are more supportive
of one another, where we are less combative, where we

(38:55):
are more loving, where we are peaceful, but as soon
as those coming too. Leadership and with when things around
and make it almost impossible for peace to reign, for
love to take control, for acceptance to throw and I'm like, okay,
focus on the good thing, take your mind off those negativity,
and every day of your life do something to make

(39:17):
somebody else's life better and take it as your contribution.
Now that things are so bad, this is your small contribution.
Just make sure every day of your life it was
just a smile, Smile at that person you don't know,
and hope that you make their day better, and go
home and thank God and clap for yourself that you
did something good for that day. Focus on the things

(39:39):
that are going well as much as possible, and do
that little you can do to make other people's lives better,
because it will pass. They always pass. Sometimes they come
to pass and they don't realize that time is ticket
and very soon you're gonna get out and somebody else
is gonna come in and hopefully do better than you
have done. Sometimes they forget it, but I never forget it.

(40:00):
I know it's going to pass. Those people making those
really bad decisions are gone, so that hopefully much better
people can come in and make better decisions that help
humanity to be more loving, more accepting, and more successful overall.
But that's how I do it. I really focus my
mind on the things that are going well, and I

(40:21):
try to ignore the negatives while I do the work
I need to do to get my community, my constituency,
and myself moving forward in the politics. And because of it,
I make friends with everybody, even the opposition. I could
be up against you in a particular role. I want
to be House of for Reps in the same constituency

(40:41):
where you're racing, They're going to be fear square and
you may even end up voting for me on election
day because I'm going to approach it from the perspective
of let the best person win. And what I know
I have to give the people is love. And there
are not many people who are ready to love so
many people so completely and soon know that they are
loved and they appreciate it, and what they want, what

(41:02):
they need to grow, is all for your interest. Not
many politicians come from that space, but that's where I leave.
And because it's so easy for me, I know that
as long as it is a free, fair, credible election,
I'm going to win.

Speaker 1 (41:16):
It.

Speaker 2 (41:17):
I'm coming from that place. I approach everything I do
with ease, whereas all of the people who are punching
themselves and you know, fighting and making enemity and you
know I don't like it. Come into my space. I
focus on the things that are important, and I keep
myself as stiffe as possible from the bad energies. It

(41:38):
helps me.

Speaker 1 (41:39):
I love that protecting your energy, that's good stuff. Happiness
is free. I know that you have a copy of
your book. There can we see a copy of this one?
And loving Happiness is free. If someone wanted to find
your book, where can I find the book?

Speaker 2 (41:56):
It's done? Also go to a type Happiness is free,
you'll say, you can follow the link and buy. I
do have the ecopy. I'm also selling on my websites.
If you go to my website or follow my links,
come to my social media on Instagram and Facebook LinkedIn.
I think once you type my name on Google, they're

(42:16):
gonna find me for you.

Speaker 1 (42:20):
Happiness is free. This book is available for everyone to purchase.
You mentioned that you're a coach, Are you working with
people in that capacity or if they wanted you to
be their coach, They're able to reach out to you
to have coaching services directly.

Speaker 2 (42:36):
Absolutely. I do a lot of one on one coaching
and women. And then this day is quite a lot
of women coming and they want me to coach them
because they feel really like my story resonates in lots
with them and they are struggling with the rules, you know,
the role of mom, the role of wife, and business

(42:58):
women professional and they really want to find that balance
and they're looking like, Okay, you've done this, help us,
you know, help me. So I come in there and
quite amazingly you find out it is actually quite easy.
It's just reminding yourself of who you are. Remembering who
you are is the primary thing. And I help them

(43:18):
to gain this clarity, to get more authentic with themselves
and find that alignment so they can live that life
of freedom and joy and ease a home in the office,
with the businesses, with the relationships everywhere. I love coaching
these very very highly successful men and women who just
want to bring it together in a way that feels peaceful.

Speaker 1 (43:41):
Mm hmmm. I love that. I love it. You guys,
you know that you have coach units here who is
also someone who is There's a lot of gifts that
you have to offer people. So I absolutely love that.
I love it.

Speaker 2 (43:55):
Thank you. The big guest of all the gift is
that I have I leave the life if I preach.
You know a lot of US coaches lend these things
from training, but we don't really hype them into our lives.
It's just you know, you have the training and I
can take people through the process and help them out
with their issues whatever. In my case, these are leaved experiences.

(44:17):
These are things that I'm doing every day. But when
I talk to my clients, I am practically giving them
my life. Like look at it, this is how I
did it at my time. During your time, it's different.
Your story is different. However, if you look at it
from this angle and that angle, you may find that
there are options that you haven't considered, and you can

(44:37):
consider those options and then make commitments that are easy
for you to follow.

Speaker 1 (44:42):
I love it. And you did have a rough growing
up in Nigeria and then going through living in the ghetto.
To have the mindset that you have, I think that
is amazing and to have had the success. But you
definitely have a roadmap.

Speaker 2 (44:58):
I do. It's an easy roadmap. Happiness come from a
place of joy, And it's easy to come from a
place of joy, especially where you consist of many things.
I help you see all the things that are amazing
about your life, and I also help you see how
you can go from there. So all the amazing things
you still want to call it, I call them all

(45:20):
of them in like you don't miss out on anything.
I do it with so much ease and flow. What's
better than that?

Speaker 1 (45:27):
Is there anything that we have not talked about but
you want to share with our listeners?

Speaker 2 (45:33):
For me, it's always about coming in from fat like
open my heart, put my life, give it to you
to read as a book. I came in here to
just talk and talk to the first But like I say,
all I felt odd is being authentic is key to
being successful in a way that feels good. Because there

(45:58):
are different levels of success. You can be successful both
prostrated and dissolution. And you know, not loving yourself, not
liking your life feeling sometimes if you're angry that you're
successful because it doesn't feel good. But if you're going
to success from your authentic place, it will feel good.

(46:18):
Everything you do, everything you see, everything you touch will
feel aligned, will feel alive and will lead to greater
impacts in your life and in the lives of everybody
around you. So I was encouraged people to trust their
instinct that it's okay to be themselves.

Speaker 1 (46:37):
I love it. She's giving you permission. I love that
you when you show up, you give other people permission
to be themselves. And you've said so many things that
resonated with me and that I know resonates with our
listeners who are come from a variety of backgrounds. I
love your share and you guys definitely have to pick

(46:57):
up this book. It is available now on our Amazon
and all of the information for UNIS is located in
the show notes, so you can click on the link
to connect with UNIS and there you go. You have
your coach. For those of you who are not able
to understand that happiness is free. She has a blueprint
to help you understand how and why, and then can

(47:19):
walk you through the steps to get there. I appreciate
you coming and hanging out with me today.

Speaker 2 (47:26):
Thank you so much. Chante.

Speaker 1 (47:27):
Thanks with you as well, and to let you know
there's an open invitation for you to come back again.

Speaker 2 (47:33):
Amazing, amazing. I'll definitely take the invites up sometime right.
Thank you, Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 (47:42):
I enjoyed the conversation and I hope that you guys
find that there was value in the show and definitely
share it with someone that needs to hear this episode.
It was a powerful conversation. I love her share from
her journey of overcoming hardship to stepping bull into leadership
and authorship. She's given us so many gems about resilience,

(48:06):
being authentic, and the courage to design a life that's
true to who we are. If today's episode really resonated
with you, please please head on over and leave us
a review so that others will be able to find
the podcast as well. As you know this podcast is helpful.
We have the best guests, amazing guests, and lots of

(48:28):
beautiful authors. Be sure to grab her new book, Happiness
is Free but not Effortless, and start putting your wisdom
into practicing your own life. I want to thank you
Nis again for joining me, and thank you the listeners
for tuning in to another episode of Authentic Talks two
point zero. Until next time, remember to live your truth,

(48:52):
protect your peace, and always lead with authenticity. Thank you
all so much for tuning in i'm chante with authentic
talks

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Episode 284 | Happiness Is Free (But Not Effortless) | Guest: Eunice Atuejide

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Episode 284 | Happiness Is Free (But Not Effortless) | Guest: Eunice Atuejide