October 12, 2025 • 8 mins
Ever scroll through social media and suddenly feel like you're not good enough? Say yes to things you don't want to do? Let fear stop you from starting something new? You're not alone. And you're not broken. In this episode, I share three invisible mistakes we all make every single day—mistakes that quietly steal our peace, our time, and our potential. The three mistakes:
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Thanks for listening!
If this episode helped you, I'd love to stay connected.
About me: I'm a CA ranker (AIR 48), ultra-marathon runner, and author with 20 years of work experience. I believe in getting better bit by bit—through daily journaling, honest reflection, and small actions.
Here's how we can work together:
📱 Download UPLY - Our app for daily growth and mindfulness
📚 Read my books & journals - Available on Amazon (search my name - Nishith Goyal)
🌐 Visit bebetterbitbybit.com - Free resources, blog posts, and more
🎯 Join my workshops - I teach journaling, mental wellness, and the GATE concept
One bit at a time, we all get better.
See you in the next episode!
- The Comparison Trap - How comparing yourself to others (and even to yourself) destroys your joy
- Giving Time Away - Why saying yes to everything means saying no to what matters
- Letting Fear Decide - How fear makes small daily decisions that add up to a smaller life
- Why comparison is really about shame, not success
- Simple questions to ask before giving your time away
- How to notice fear without letting it control you
- Practical tools from Brené Brown, Greg McKeown, and Kristin Neff
- Small daily changes that make a big difference
- You constantly feel behind or not good enough
- You're busy but never have time for what matters
- Fear stops you from trying new things
- You want practical tools, not just motivation
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/be-better-bit-by-bit--4216679/support.
Thanks for listening!
If this episode helped you, I'd love to stay connected.
About me: I'm a CA ranker (AIR 48), ultra-marathon runner, and author with 20 years of work experience. I believe in getting better bit by bit—through daily journaling, honest reflection, and small actions.
Here's how we can work together:
📱 Download UPLY - Our app for daily growth and mindfulness
📚 Read my books & journals - Available on Amazon (search my name - Nishith Goyal)
🌐 Visit bebetterbitbybit.com - Free resources, blog posts, and more
🎯 Join my workshops - I teach journaling, mental wellness, and the GATE concept
One bit at a time, we all get better.
See you in the next episode!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You know what's funny.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
We spend so much time worrying about the big mistakes
in life, the career choice we got wrong, the relationship
that didn't work out, the investment that failed. But there
are other mistakes, quieter ones, invisible ones, the kind we
make every single day without even realizing it.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
And these these are the ones.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
That slowly drain our joy, our peace, our potential. Today,
I want to talk about three of these invisible mistakes,
three patterns I've noticed in my own life that have
been quietly stealing from me for years, and maybe you'll
recognize them in yours.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Two. So let me tell you about last week.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I was scrolling through LinkedIn, just mindlessly scrolling, you know
how it is, And then I saw it a post
from someone my age, someone I kind of know.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
They just bought their third house, third and my stomach dropped.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Not because I was happy for them, I wish I
could say that, not because I felt inspired. I felt smaller.
And before I even realized it, my brain started doing math.
How much do I earn? How much must they earn?
What am I doing wrong? Why am I so behind?
And that's when it hit me. I had just made
(01:24):
a mistake, not a big dramatic mistake, a quiet one,
the kind you don't even notice, the kind I've been
making every single day for years, and it's been stealing
my piece. The first mistake, the comparison trap. We all
do it multiple times a day. We compare our salary
(01:47):
to someone's promotion, our body to the person at the gym,
our messy kitchen to those perfect Instagram posts, our slow
progress to someone else's highlight reel.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
It feels normal, it feels human. But here's what I realized.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Every time I compare, I'm not just noticing differences. I'm
judging my worth. Brene Brown said something that hit me hard.
She said, comparison it is a function of shame. It's
not a game of who's better than who. It's a
game of who's not enough, who's not enough. That's what
(02:26):
I was really doing on LinkedIn that day. I wasn't
celebrating someone's success. I was telling myself I wasn't enough.
And you know what's crazy. We don't just compare ourselves
to others. We compare ourselves to ourselves, our past self,
our future self. I look back at who I was
five years ago and think I should have achieved more
(02:48):
by now, or I look at my future goals and
think I'm so far behind. Suddenly my present it feel inadequate,
like I'm never exactly where I should be. Past me
was better, Future me will be better. But right now,
right now, I'm not enough.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
That's the trap.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
The second mistake, giving time away like it's free. Last month,
a colleague asked me to join another committee, and I
said yes immediately without thinking. Later that evening, I was
sitting at home, exhausted, overwhelmed, staring at my to do
list and wondering why I had no time for the
(03:32):
things I actually cared about. And I realized I had
been giving my time away like free samples at a
grocery store or just handing it out to anyone who asked.
Every yes to something unimportant was a no to something
that mattered. Every meeting I didn't need to attend. Was
time stolen from what I loved. I was treating time
(03:56):
like it was unlimited. But time isn't money. Time is life.
There's this book called Essentialism by Greg McKeown, and he writes,
if you don't prioritize your life, someone else will. If
you don't decide what's important, someone else will decide for you,
and most of the time we don't even realize we're
(04:17):
doing it. We say yes because it's easier than saying no.
We say yes because we don't want to disappoint people.
We say yes because we think we should. But every
time we say yes to something that doesn't matter, we
are saying no to something that does. The third mistake
(04:38):
letting fear decide.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Two years ago, I.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Had an idea, a small project, something creative, something mine.
I never started it, not because I was too busy,
not because it was impossible, because I was scared, scared
it wouldn't be perfect, Scared people would judge it, Scared
I wasn't good enough.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
And you know what fear won.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I let fear make the decision for me, not in
some big, dramatic way, just in a small, quiet way,
the kind that doesn't feel like a big deal in
the moment. But those small decisions they add up, They
add up to a smaller life. Elizabeth Gilbert said something brilliant.
She said, fear is boring, and she's right. Fear always
(05:29):
says the same thing. It just yells stop. It never
has anything new to offer, no ideas, no solutions, just stop,
don't try, don't start, don't risk it. Fear is boring,
and I'd been letting it run my life.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
So what do we do about this?
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Here's what I've learned. The first step is just noticing.
You can't change what you don't see. So I started
paying attention when do I compare? When do I give
my time away? And does fear make my decisions? Just noticing,
not judging, just seeing it? And then self compassion. There's
(06:11):
this researcher named Kristin Neff. She teaches something simple but powerful,
treat yourself like you treat.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
A good friend.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
And so now when I catch myself comparing, I pause.
Instead of why don't I have what they have? I
ask what do I have that I'm grateful for? It's
not about pretending everything's perfect. It's about being kind to myself.
When someone asks for my time, now, I pause just
(06:40):
for a second, and I ask myself, does this align
with what matters to me? Sometimes the answer is yes,
Sometimes it's not right. Now both answers are okay, because
protecting my time isn't selfish, it's necessary. And when fear whispers,
don't try, I remind myself fear is just trying to
(07:00):
keep me safe. But safe isn't always best. Sometimes the
best things in life are on the other side of
that fear. So I thank fear for trying to protect me,
and then I do it anyway, not perfectly, just one
small step. Look, I'm not saying I've figured this all out.
(07:21):
I still compare, sometimes I still give my time away.
I still let fear stop me, but now I notice it,
and noticing is the first step to choosing differently. I'm
sharing this with you not because I have all the answers,
but because I think we all struggle with this. We're
all fumbling our way through life, making mistakes, big ones
(07:43):
and small ones. But the invisible ones, the quiet ones
we make every day, those are the ones that shape
our lives. So here's what I want you to do tonight.
Just pay attention. Notice when you compare, Notice when you
give your time away without thinking, Notice when fear makes
(08:05):
decisions for you.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Don't judge it, just see it.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Because once you see these invisible mistakes, you can't unsee them,
and once you can't unsee them, you can start choosing differently,
one small, conscious choice at a time. Thanks for listening.
See you in the next episode. Let's be better bit
by bit
You know what's funny.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
We spend so much time worrying about the big mistakes
in life, the career choice we got wrong, the relationship
that didn't work out, the investment that failed. But there
are other mistakes, quieter ones, invisible ones, the kind we
make every single day without even realizing it.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
And these these are the ones.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
That slowly drain our joy, our peace, our potential. Today,
I want to talk about three of these invisible mistakes,
three patterns I've noticed in my own life that have
been quietly stealing from me for years, and maybe you'll
recognize them in yours.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Two. So let me tell you about last week.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I was scrolling through LinkedIn, just mindlessly scrolling, you know
how it is, And then I saw it a post
from someone my age, someone I kind of know.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
They just bought their third house, third and my stomach dropped.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Not because I was happy for them, I wish I
could say that, not because I felt inspired. I felt smaller.
And before I even realized it, my brain started doing math.
How much do I earn? How much must they earn?
What am I doing wrong? Why am I so behind?
And that's when it hit me. I had just made
(01:24):
a mistake, not a big dramatic mistake, a quiet one,
the kind you don't even notice, the kind I've been
making every single day for years, and it's been stealing
my piece. The first mistake, the comparison trap. We all
do it multiple times a day. We compare our salary
(01:47):
to someone's promotion, our body to the person at the gym,
our messy kitchen to those perfect Instagram posts, our slow
progress to someone else's highlight reel.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
It feels normal, it feels human. But here's what I realized.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Every time I compare, I'm not just noticing differences. I'm
judging my worth. Brene Brown said something that hit me hard.
She said, comparison it is a function of shame. It's
not a game of who's better than who. It's a
game of who's not enough, who's not enough. That's what
(02:26):
I was really doing on LinkedIn that day. I wasn't
celebrating someone's success. I was telling myself I wasn't enough.
And you know what's crazy. We don't just compare ourselves
to others. We compare ourselves to ourselves, our past self,
our future self. I look back at who I was
five years ago and think I should have achieved more
(02:48):
by now, or I look at my future goals and
think I'm so far behind. Suddenly my present it feel inadequate,
like I'm never exactly where I should be. Past me
was better, Future me will be better. But right now,
right now, I'm not enough.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
That's the trap.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
The second mistake, giving time away like it's free. Last month,
a colleague asked me to join another committee, and I
said yes immediately without thinking. Later that evening, I was
sitting at home, exhausted, overwhelmed, staring at my to do
list and wondering why I had no time for the
(03:32):
things I actually cared about. And I realized I had
been giving my time away like free samples at a
grocery store or just handing it out to anyone who asked.
Every yes to something unimportant was a no to something
that mattered. Every meeting I didn't need to attend. Was
time stolen from what I loved. I was treating time
(03:56):
like it was unlimited. But time isn't money. Time is life.
There's this book called Essentialism by Greg McKeown, and he writes,
if you don't prioritize your life, someone else will. If
you don't decide what's important, someone else will decide for you,
and most of the time we don't even realize we're
(04:17):
doing it. We say yes because it's easier than saying no.
We say yes because we don't want to disappoint people.
We say yes because we think we should. But every
time we say yes to something that doesn't matter, we
are saying no to something that does. The third mistake
(04:38):
letting fear decide.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Two years ago, I.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Had an idea, a small project, something creative, something mine.
I never started it, not because I was too busy,
not because it was impossible, because I was scared, scared
it wouldn't be perfect, Scared people would judge it, Scared
I wasn't good enough.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
And you know what fear won.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I let fear make the decision for me, not in
some big, dramatic way, just in a small, quiet way,
the kind that doesn't feel like a big deal in
the moment. But those small decisions they add up, They
add up to a smaller life. Elizabeth Gilbert said something brilliant.
She said, fear is boring, and she's right. Fear always
(05:29):
says the same thing. It just yells stop. It never
has anything new to offer, no ideas, no solutions, just stop,
don't try, don't start, don't risk it. Fear is boring,
and I'd been letting it run my life.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
So what do we do about this?
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Here's what I've learned. The first step is just noticing.
You can't change what you don't see. So I started
paying attention when do I compare? When do I give
my time away? And does fear make my decisions? Just noticing,
not judging, just seeing it? And then self compassion. There's
(06:11):
this researcher named Kristin Neff. She teaches something simple but powerful,
treat yourself like you treat.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
A good friend.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
And so now when I catch myself comparing, I pause.
Instead of why don't I have what they have? I
ask what do I have that I'm grateful for? It's
not about pretending everything's perfect. It's about being kind to myself.
When someone asks for my time, now, I pause just
(06:40):
for a second, and I ask myself, does this align
with what matters to me? Sometimes the answer is yes,
Sometimes it's not right. Now both answers are okay, because
protecting my time isn't selfish, it's necessary. And when fear whispers,
don't try, I remind myself fear is just trying to
(07:00):
keep me safe. But safe isn't always best. Sometimes the
best things in life are on the other side of
that fear. So I thank fear for trying to protect me,
and then I do it anyway, not perfectly, just one
small step. Look, I'm not saying I've figured this all out.
(07:21):
I still compare, sometimes I still give my time away.
I still let fear stop me, but now I notice it,
and noticing is the first step to choosing differently. I'm
sharing this with you not because I have all the answers,
but because I think we all struggle with this. We're
all fumbling our way through life, making mistakes, big ones
(07:43):
and small ones. But the invisible ones, the quiet ones
we make every day, those are the ones that shape
our lives. So here's what I want you to do tonight.
Just pay attention. Notice when you compare, Notice when you
give your time away without thinking, Notice when fear makes
(08:05):
decisions for you.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Don't judge it, just see it.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Because once you see these invisible mistakes, you can't unsee them,
and once you can't unsee them, you can start choosing differently,
one small, conscious choice at a time. Thanks for listening.
See you in the next episode. Let's be better bit
by bit
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